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Half-Sisters (historical fantasy):

 1 Jabrosky, Sun, 21st Apr '13 8:07:48 PM from San Diego, CA
Madman
Link to gallery on DA, which contains the first chapter. In case this gallery ever goes down, here is the first chapter.

This historical fantasy project started off as a vignette that I didn't intend to really go anywhere, but now it looks like it could blossom into a small novel. I'm more or less pantsing it at the moment, but I do have vague mental "outlines" for the main characters' back-stories.

Anyway, the story takes place in an "alternate timeline" version of ancient Africa and is named for two women who have the same father but different mothers. One of the women, Sekhmethotep, is the Pharaoh of Kemet (ancient Egypt) whereas the other has reluctantly married the spoiled Mansa of Mali as part of a diplomatic maneuver. In the opening chapter Sekhmethotep confronts a new religion which promises to save her country, but at what cost?

Since I'm working on Draft One, I don't feel ready for a line-by-line critique just yet, but any other thoughts about the concept are welcome as always.
 2 Jabrosky, Mon, 22nd Apr '13 1:29:29 AM from San Diego, CA
Madman
Actually I do have one question to ask people who have read the first chapter: what's your opinion of my heroine Sekhmethotep? I hope I didn't make her too unlikeable.
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