Views on the Status of Marriage

So marrying a minor requires the same amount of permission from from parents as letting kids read Huckleberry Finn?

...Okay then.

Arkansas.

Here age of consent is 16, but there can be the option for charges if there is a more than 4 year gap in age, due to the high abuse rates we have, the risk of abuse and rape, or chances of parental neglect.

But if parents sign off on a marriage (ages 14-17 can marry with parental consent), then it all dissappears.

"Psssh. Even if you could catch a miracle on a picture any person would probably delete it to make space for more porn." - Aszur

You need permission to read books?

hashtagsarestupid

Some schools will send home permission slips if they are going to teach a controversal book such as Huck Finn.

Though I have never heard of any teacher here in Arkansas, (K-12), who have even bothered considering what kind of crap they would have to go through to do it from both the school boards and the parents.

But that's another topic...

"Psssh. Even if you could catch a miracle on a picture any person would probably delete it to make space for more porn." - Aszur

Because it depicts helping escaped slaves in a favorable light?

edited 25th Jan '13 6:32:42 AM by Medinoc

"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."

I'm gonna make another stab in the dark and say it's because it uses that word in a historic context.

hashtagsarestupid

It's because it uses the n-word, nevermind that it doesn't do it to be offensive but to show that the people who use it are racist. >.<

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My grandparents had a very traditional marriage and everyone thought my grandmother was kind of an idiot. And then my grandfather died and everyone remembered that my grandmother was actually on the ENIGMA project during WWII. Not kidding.

The thing is that the "Alpha Male" is kind of an unnatural thing for humans anyway. We aren't a pack-oriented species. I know so many families where the dad is in charge in public, but it's blatantly obvious that the mom controls things.

As long as the relationship isn't really unhealthy, I don't really have a problem with it.

edited 13th Jan '14 11:09:07 AM by Zendervai

Not Three Laws compliant.

My father was clearly not an "Alpha Male" (the term applied to humans makes me throw up, actually). And my parents were happily married. Come to think of it, I don't know any marriage were there's a clear power structure.

It has actually been shown (alas, I can't find a source) that partnerships that are based on egalitarian principles last longer. Not really surprising. Not being oppressed tends to make people happy. Happy people will more likely stay together.

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The marriage lasted for over 26 years until my father died but they were together an additional 12 years prior to that.

The "certain way" is how society teaches how men should be and what women should desire. Our desires are also shaped by our surroundings (just look at music or fashion fads).

Found something[1] "egalitarian marital power is directly and positively related to marital harmony and negatively related to marital discord, (c) the nontraditional division of domestic labor is directly and positively related to marital quality primarily through the enhancement of marital harmony,"

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Being attracted to a certain kind of thing is not a bad thing. But requiring everyone to adhere to your desires is just juvenile. If your brother likes submissive girly girls it's fine. They exist and most likely want a partner too, after all. But that's because they want to be like that and have to give their consent. To say everyone with a vagina should be a submissive girly girl is just insolent. Primarily against the women who don't fit this narrow mold and secondarily against all the men and women who prefer a bit different women.

You don't go around declaring everyone has to have the same prefered food or color either.

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"Non-traditional". <_< Pick up a cultural anthropology text book some time. You'd be amazed at the rainbow of traditional marriages out there. (Every culture and society has a take: each pretty much as full of tradition as the last.)

Look: any kind of marriage can work, if the people in it put their minds to it to make it work. It doesn't matter what the structure is.

edited 13th Jan '14 12:48:47 PM by Euodiachloris

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Get him to read a bit even if you have to use bribery. Flooding him with anecdotes might not work, but hit him with other people's traditions, seeing as he's so big on that. -_-

Again; I do not now any marriage where the man is in charge. Neither my parents nor my grandparents nor my friends' parents have this dynamic. And most of them are or were a success. I didn't even encounter the concept of unequal marriage until I was in my teens.

The ideal your brother has is largely a fantasy. Tell him to join a BDSM community if he's into dominating so much. They could teach him a thing or two about consent too.

If marriage is the smallest cell of society than in a democratic society this cell has to be based on the same principles of freedom, equality and fraternity.

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Letting people explain their fews tends to mellow them.

Duh.

It's still fundamentally wrong to force the other 23% to do the same. If everyone would do it you would not need force them. If you have to force them they don't want to. And as said, people's desires are shaped by their surroundngs.

By the way an Austrian study found out that, while 70% of young women wanted to stay home with the kids, so did almost 50% of the young men. It's not even solely about what women want, but what men want too.

BDSM is based on two (or more of course) equal partners signing(figuratively) a contract. The sub can take advantage too after all.

Which is wierd considering how conservative Switzerland is. (The husband was legally the head of the family until 1988 and marital rape became a crime only in 1992!) I might have been lucky to not know any too conservative people.

edited 13th Jan '14 1:35:28 PM by Antiteilchen

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So he acknowledges that women and men can behave differently when given different upringings. Why then, does he insist on creating inequality? It's not just equality that is forced but inequality is forced and created by society in the first place.

So? Women are not obliged to turn someone on. And why does he want his two-year-old niece to turn him on?

edited 13th Jan '14 3:57:15 PM by Antiteilchen