Heavens' Cross Archipelago

Well then, let's get this wagon back on the road, alright?

...That made me think of this:

I know it's not quite the same thing, but still.

Present... ish. Kinda Writer's Block'd. Maybe Flanker's post will cause it to loosen a bit.

(BUMP)
I apologise, Flanker. I did not even realise this was a question, not to mention that it was directed toward the Lady. Sorry.

No problem.

I would prefer it if you didn't edit your previous post, as strange a request that is; doing that means that my only idea for my latest post would be rendered null and void. Perhaps you can address it in your next post? It's not like it would be too unusual, would it?

OK, I'll try. Though, to be honest, I've a continuous Writer's Block regarding the Lady, and she feels a bit 'Sueish to me. I'm considering abandoning her.

What particular aspects of her feel sueish? As an "outsider" so to speak I can help to tell you whether or not that's the case.

Also, I know the feeling. Writer's block is never fun.

Well...

• Her weaponry. She's proficient with all sorts of stuff, and yet she uses Katanas.
• Uses both Magic and Technology. And well.
• Boring, generic backstory.
• Her name sounds bad to me. It sounded good back then, now it just sounds pretentious.
• Not enough personality. Not a case of 'not enough time', a case of a flat character.

Oh, I see. I apologise if I don't manage to cover everything on the first attempt, since I'm doing this off the top of my head.

If you feel your character's a bit flat, then you can try showing her thoughts and feelings - not just about the current situation, but also on the other characters. As for the katana, well, perhaps you could show some of its' shortcomings (i.e. I think they weren't particularly good for anything that wasn't a slicing attack). The name is okay, though perhaps she could stand to have a proper name (in this scenario "The Dragon Lady of Umbarsk" is just a nickname/moniker?). I thought her backstory was okay, though I want to know a little bit more about it.

As for the magic/technology thing, that's trickier... I've got nothing. Sorry.

edited 3rd Apr '12 1:07:33 PM by Flanker66