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The Chaos: A project by MasterOfChaos

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Masterofchaos Since: Dec, 2010
#1: Dec 27th 2011 at 2:59:46 PM

After some thinking, I've finally decided to post my novel here. I've been working on this story for quite some time, and this is the latest draft. The story is, currently, a WIP. I'm hoping to complete it sometime soon. If I'm breaking any rules (I'm stil semi-new to this site), I apologize.

Here is chapter one. Enjoy.

Chapter one

“Okay, class. Your only homework is to make sure you don't die until next Monday. See you next week.”

Today was Friday. Thank God it was. I needed a break. A big one. My body was starting to wear out from all the work I was given. I was glad to get all done now. A nap sounded like a great idea about now.

As I packed my bags to get home, I heard my teacher call me. I sighed and turned around, walking to the desk. She looked at me, her glasses glistened in the light.

“Nick,” she started, “I had a talk with your mom last week, and both of us agreed to put you in the honors class. You are one of my hard-working students, and I think this will be a perfect opportunity for you to excel. How does that sound to you?”

I should've been happy about that, and I kind of was, but not completely. I thought about dad, and wondered how he would react to such news if he was still around. I didn't want Mrs. Susan to know, though, since I didn't want to spoil the mood. After all, it's a privilege for kids to be put in an honors class.

“I'll think about it.” I said, forcing a smile. “Thank you, Mrs. Susan.”

“...Is there something brothering you, Nick?” She asked, “You can tell me if you don't like this.”

“I'm fine. Really, I am.”

“Alright then.” Mrs. Susan looked down and started to write on her papers, “Tell me your decision Monday. Have a nice weekend.”

__________________________

I walked out of the building, looking at my father's watch. It was the one thing I had to still think of him, to still think that he's still alive, and that he'll come back home someday. I had that bit of hope for nine years straight, and I never got rid of it. I sighed, rubbing my light-brown face. I didn't want to be sad again, not during my weekend.

Just when I was about to walk to my house, I felt someone slung their arm around my shoulder. I glanced over, and saw Paul, with a huge cheeky grin on his face.

“Hey, Nick!” He said, flicking his hat a bit, “Soo...I heard that you got promoted to honors. My, you've grown up so fast.”

I couldn't help but laugh at his corny joke. That's just how Paul rolled. I could be in the worst mood possible, and, somehow, he would be there to cheer me up. This was the exact reason why I often wanted to spend most of my time around him.

“Thanks.” I said as we walked together, “Say, I've been thinking...”

“Yeah?”

“Since the school year started again, we haven't hung out or anything like that, you know?” I looked at my father's watch, “Does a trip downtown sound good to you?”

Paul rubbed his chin, removing his arm from my shoulder, “Hmm...let the comedic genius think.” He looked around, before lifting a finger, “Got a time?”

“Six?” I suggested.

“Make it seven. The later, the better.”

“Deal.”

_________________________

After saying good-bye to Paul, I finally went to my house. As I walked inside, my little sister, Jasmine, ran to hug me.

“Nicky!” She greeted, giggling.

I smiled and I picked her up.

“Hey! How's my little princess?” I greeted back, smiling.

Ever since dad disappeared, I became the “father” of the house. My main goal for my little sister was to make sure that not a single thing or person harm her. I would do anything in the world to protect her, even if it would end up hurting me.

“It's the weekend!” she exclaimed, smiling brightly. “Now you can be home more and play with me!”

I smiled and rubbed her head.

“Of course. Anything for my little princess,” I added, giving her a kiss on a forehead. I walked to the couch, slumping down. “Did you do anything fun while I was gone?”

“Yeah! Mama and I looked at the old photo album!” She said, grabbing the album off the glass table. “Look!”

I opened the album, and landed on the page with dad, mom, my little brother Micheal, and a seven-year-old me, sitting at the picnic table, smiling. I focused on dad and Micheal, trying my best to hold back my tears. Two people that I was close with were gone. One was missing, and other one was dead. No longer on this planet. No longer with our family.

“I'm in the picture too!” Jasmine said, pointing at my mother's stomach, “See? There I am!”

I laughed and rubbed Jasmine's shoulders, “Yes. That's you.”

Suddenly, I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I looked up, and saw my mom, looking at the photo album with us. She then took a seat between us, looking over at Jasmine.

“That's all of us. Nine years ago.” She said, “That was our last picnic. Oh, I miss your father and brother so much.”

Every time she looked at our photos, she would get nostalgic. She would always describe what was happening in the picture, and how much she missed those times. Most often, it drove her to tears. Lately, she tried to stop that, since it was starting to worry Jasmine.

“Daddy will come back someday, mommy.” Jasmine then said, “Don't worry.”

We only wished that he would return. All I wanted to know was why he left us in the first place. He didn't even give me a good reason. He just said, “Please, forgive me”, and vanished off the face of the earth. Gone. Nine years straight.

I got up, giving my mom a quick hug. “I'll be outside for a second.”

________________________________

Outside, I sat in front of the maple tree near the backyard. This was my spot to think, to pray, and to relieve all my stress. I decided to talk to Micheal. I sat down, laid my head against the tree, and closed my eyes. I was so lost in thought, I couldn't here the footsteps in the yard.

“Micheal,” I said, “Great news; I've been offered a chance to go to honors on Monday. I'm surprise that I managed to get that far. You learn something new everyday.” I gave a small chuckle. “I wish you were still here to see this. You and dad. The both of you would've been proud.”

The wind blew gently. I figured that was his way of communicating with me. It made me feel a little better, but not completely. At least it let me know that he was still around, listening to me.

Then, when I opened my eyes, I was face to face with a boy with peach skin, light-blue eyes, and long red hair, staring directly at me. I jumped up, startling him.

“Who are you and how did you get in my yard?” I demanded.

The boy looked at his lap, shivering a bit. I quirked an eyebrow, before bending down to him. I was going to get an answer from him one way or another.

“Well? Why did you come here?”

“I'm exploring.” He eventually said in a childish voice. He still didn't face me, though. He acted like I was going to attack him at any moment, and had to choose his words wisely. I acted a little more gentle.

“What's your name, kid?” I asked.

“I'm Adam. I turn fifteen next year!” He finally looked at me, and smiled brightly, “What's your name?”

“Uh...Nick. My name is Nick.” I helped him up to his feet, and shook his hand. “I don't think I've seen you around here before.”

“That's because my brother and I moved here yesterday.” He pointed straight ahead, “I use to live all the way in Augusta.”

“Augusta, huh? Heh. That's pretty far.”

“I fell asleep for most of the trip, so it didn't feel that far.”

We kept talking for a while, and the more I payed attention to his behavior, the more I realized that this kid wasn't a threat. Adam was a special ed boy who was wandering around the neighborhood, trying to make friends. I felt bad for snapping at him before, and decided to be much more friendly to him.

“Adam,” I finally said, “You can't wander into people's yards like that. If you meet the wrong people, you could get hurt.” I placed a hand on his shoulder, “Don't worry, though; I won't hurt ya, buddy.”

“Can I still visit you?” He asked innocently, “I live in a apartment a block from here.”

I nodded, before patting his head. “Yeah. You can still visit me. Now, where are your parents?”

He frowned, and shuffled his feet, “Mom and dad left when I was eight. Nathan takes care of me now.”

“Oh...” Poor boy. Both parents were gone? Now what could provoke them to do that? Why would they leave their children all alone like that? Especially at a young age? “Well, where's Nathan?”

Before he could speak, I heard someone yell his name. We turned around, and saw man, possibly in his early twenties, run to him and pull him into a hug. This man, I assumed, was Nathan.

“Adam! There you are!” He said, “Don't do that! You know you can get lost around here!” He looked into my path, and smiled. “Is he a friend you made?”

The red head pulled away from the hug and nodded. “Yeah! His name is Nick, Nathan!”

“I see. Thank you for keeping him company, Nick.” He shook my hand, before holding Adam's, “Come on, little brother. Time to go home. We still have to unpack our stuff.”

Seeing that our time together was done, we said our goodbyes, and I let the two brothers leave. I looked at the sky, watching the sunset. I looked at my father's watch, reading the time. It was 4:00. I still had time until I headed downtown.

______________________________

Night finally rolled by, and it was almost time for me to go. As I was getting prepared to leave, mom and Jasmine came to my room, sitting on my bed.

“Be sure to get back before midnight.” She said, giving me a stern look, “Be very careful when you go. You don't know who you might meet down there.”

“Mom,” I said, “Don't worry about me. I'll be back before you know it.”

I tried my best to make sure mom didn't get paranoid all the time. At the same time, I couldn't blame her for being so. Losing Micheal made her like this.

“Please, keep your word, sweetie.” She kissed me on the cheek. “Have fun.”

“Bye-Bye Nicky!” Jasmine said, giggling, “Be back soon!”

“I always come back for my little princess.” I reminded. “You be good while your big brother is gone, okay?”

I allowed her to run up and hug me. I patted her head, before heading downstairs and right out the door, right where Paul was waiting for me. Heading into his car, he gave me some kind of a glance.

“I saw you talkin' to the new kid earlier.” He said, “He seemed to like you pretty fast.”

“He's shy.” I added, smiling a bit. It was a bit strange how quickly we started to get along, but he was new, so I didn't feel like giving him a hard time. I had a feeling that his brother would kill me for doing so. “Maybe, if he comes by again, I'll introduce you to him.”

“Will he randomly appear in my yard?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, smart. I'll bring him over to your house.”

“I was only kidding!” He chuckled, starting the car, “Nothing against the dude! Now, got a specific place you want to go to? We can't be there all night. Dad will kill me if I do that again.”

“The arcade. We haven't been there in months.”

As we drove off into the night, we didn't pay attention to the police cars dashing right past us, going in the same direction we were heading.

Any input/advice would be appreciated.

edited 27th Dec '11 3:01:14 PM by Masterofchaos

Iaculus Pronounced YAK-you-luss from England Since: May, 2010
Pronounced YAK-you-luss
#2: Dec 28th 2011 at 8:20:45 AM

OK, I'm seeing several major and minor grammatical errors so far, but the one that stands out especially is a classic mistake amongst writers on the Internet.

Things like 'he said' and 'she asked' are extensions of the sentence within the quotation-marks, and should not be capitalised. Furthermore, full stops preceding 'he said's should be turned into commas, though other punctuation-marks, like ? and !, should remain as they are. Some examples:

Correct: "I want to eat that kitten," he said. Incorrect: "I want to eat that kitten." He said.

Correct: "Do you want to eat that kitten?" she asked. Incorrect: "Do you want to eat that kitten?" She asked.

What's precedent ever done for us?
Masterofchaos Since: Dec, 2010
#3: Dec 28th 2011 at 9:36:24 AM

[up]

Thank you so much for your reply. :D

I will admit; grammar is not my best friend. In fact, it's one of the hardest things for me to perfect. I'm trying my best to get it right, though.

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