i'm not sure how to get over my depressive slump

First off I'm not wanting to ran t "my life sucks" and all that stuff. My life probably is pretty decent. I just feel so depressed and deep seedy with sadness. Even though everyone around me sees me as happy and chipper.

Where to start...hmmmm....well few years ago I was given a trainee type position from my boss in order to advance in the company. He wanted it to be the start of several promotions for me. This was great news for me as I had just dropped out of college a year earlier and was uncertain of my future. So this guy thought me a worthless drop out was worth his time to train for upper management. I was stoked Unfortunately....he left though, Had to transfer. He mainly gave me the job so I'd stick with the company. My next two bosses viewed me as immature and inexperience despite my work ethic and high performance rate.

So I was passed over countless times and people even questioned the purpose of my job. I was given responsibility without the better respect and pay I should have been entitled to. So after 3 years stuck in the same trainee position (foolishness on my part). I was falsely accused of something I didn't do. I was then terminated. (Though later it was declared I was unjustifiably terminated and I received 2 months pay while I looked for a new job).

So when looking for a new job I thought it was my chance to move up, not hold myself back anymore. I received callbacks, but do to my experience I was passed over. I did get a new job, but it's pretty much the same as the old one. Same pay same benefits, and it's right next door to my old job ironically enough. the only upside is it's a less hostile less stressful job. I'm still looking for better work but turning up nothing.

I feel so stagnant. Like I'm dying inside, but my outside is still as happy and chipper as ever. I'm sad, but not angry or frustrated. So it's like my sadness sits in me without an outlet. I just want to move forward, but for the past 4 years I've been stuck. Also I never realized how hard it was to be new in an established group of people. The last job was a new location where everyone was new to each other...Sigh. I'm just not fitting in that well.

I dropped out of college when I was young, got rejected by the military, can't find a decent job. I feel stuck.

So....any advice?????

edited 15th Sep '11 9:00:52 PM by patrickmoler

Good luck finding anything better right now; I think a lot of people are stuck.

When I get depressed I tend to eat. Like, a lot. But really excercize tends to help you feel better; getting your heart rate up and the endorphins flowing in your brain. Anything more serious and I suggest seeing a doctor about it.

Edit: Also, taking up some kind of hobby to keep your mind engaged could help. Like... taking guitar lessons? I'm doing that right now just because it seems like fun.

edited 15th Sep '11 9:17:15 PM by AceofSpades

I exercise intensely on a regular basis. I even have a fairly impressive build. I had a feeling I should have mentioned that, as that's a common piece of advice. My depression isn't really a lie in bed all day type of depression. Not very physical. I also have quite a few hobbies. Also, I've dated plenty of girls. I have a lot of friends. I'm something of a social butterfly despite my faults. It's just I feel useless

edited 15th Sep '11 9:21:57 PM by patrickmoler

Sounds more like an existential crisis, then. Perhaps joining a volunteer group of some sort would help? Like, homes for the homeless or some sort of hospital volunteer?

sigh....I do do volunteer work. Quite a bit of it. It's more so....it feels like I do anything for my fellow man, and any job I'm given I do to the best of my abilities. Yet, I mean nobody will give me a decent job. Also, let's face it. In the modern world everything's based on the opinion of others. I'll do a great job I'll help as much as I can. Yet, when it comes to getting ahead a lil'...just a lil' i'm not greedy. It's "you lack this...you lack that" I just want a lil' financial security and want to be able to move ahead a lil' in life. I don't seem to be getting that.

You might want to talk to a psychologist about this. You feel stuck and useless, and you've pretty much done most of the things that can help those feelings in most people. I know therapy can work, I was depressed for quite a while and it took a long time to come out, but therapy was probably the biggest reason for me getting out of it.

Like other people have suggested, talking to someone might help.

A lot of people, depending on what country and what economy you're living in, are feeling that stagnant thing right now. I know "it sucks for everyone" mightn't be a helpful thing to say to some people, but to others it's empowering to remember that it's not something you're doing wrong, or something wrong with you. Life is a slog for everyone. Well, most people.

General life dissatisfaction, or feelings of fundamental inferiority I think are increasingly common these days, amongst people who objectively know that they're reasonably healthy and stable, and are able to pay the bills most months but still have that "I'm going to be stuck here forever" or "is this as good as it's going to get for me?" feeling.There's all sorts of factors involved and I stress that genuine depression does exist and is something that should be treated and supported, but I think there are other factors.

We live in a media-saturated culture now, and are bombarded with reality TV and blogs and social networking websites that enforce the idea that unless you are hyper-successful, running your own business or having a three-book deal with Harper Collins by 30, or have a Twitter with millions of followers, then you're a failure as a person. People have always hungered for connection and validation - and we tend to fall apart when we don't have it at some basic level - but since the information technology era exploded and we've been exposed to the life experiences of an entire global population, not just our friends, families and neighbours, the standard for validation/success has become much much higher.

I'm not going to armchair diagnose over the internet. You best know whether you're just feeling particular trapped on the old hamster-wheel right now, or whether you're at risk of a genuine depressive mental illness. And bear in mind that the former can lead to the latter. But just going from your post where you iterate you are physically healthy and have a good social life and are functioning well apart from this empty feeling, I hope what I've written may be a tiny bit helpful. I do agree with other people's suggestions of discussing it with someone, even if it's just a sympathetic friend or family member.

Thanks. Thank you very much.

Unfortunately I can relate to the OP's situation a lot, you're a wise person raisin.