The Manor Is Not Enough - Maid RPG

THE MANOR IS NOT ENOUGH – A MAID RPG

DAY: 0

TIME: EVENING, AFTER DINNER

LOCATION: READING LOUNGE, FIRST FLOOR, SPYHOLD MANOR

Dan Jobsem stood by the fireplace, waiting calmly. He was dressed in grey silk pajamas and a green velvet smoking jacket, even though he didn’t smoke. His metallic-silver hair, coiffured into its normal perfect style, reflected the flickering firelight. He waited until the four maids, the entire staff currently resident at Spyhold Manor, were seated. “My maids, you’re probably wondering why I’ve called you all here. I have a deep secret I have to confess to you. “

“I knew it!” one of the maids whispered, leaning over to speak with another maid. “I told you, no single guy is that handsome and straight.”

“No, I am NOT gay.” said Dan Jobsem, glossing over a few indiscretions in his youth with his fellow roommates at the boarding school he’d attended. “But I also am not the mild-mannered greeting card salesman I have claimed to be. Instead, I am a secret agent for the Government, an agent of AWNN.”

“On?”

“No, AWNN… the Agency With No Name.” Dan Jobsem began to pace.

“Normally, I would not have revealed myself in this way, but I have no choice. AWNN has charged me with protecting the McGuffin papers; a set of amphigorial documents that, if they fell into the wrong hands, could bring our government to its knees. In one week, I will be taking one of you maids with me to deliver the McGuffin papers to a top secret document repository vault, where it will be kept safe. Until then, I have hidden the McGuffin papers somewhere inside this mansion.”

“Excuse me, sir.” said one of the maids. “But, if you ARE a secret agent, why tell us this now?”

“Because Spyhold Manor is equipped with many secret areas and booby traps.” explained Dan. “Until now, I have kept most of the traps disarmed. With the McGuffin papers here, however, I have taken the precautions of activating all of the manor's special traps. If you continue to serve here, you will be in danger; both from enemy agents and from Spyhold Manor’s own internal defenses. I hope that, as long as you all maintain your normal routines, you will all be fine. In good conscious, however, I could not let you work here ignorant of the increased danger.”

Dan looked at the expressions of the maids, his gray eyes studying them carefully. “I know this is shocking news. I am going to retire to my suite now; I hope that you four will discuss matters and let me know if the morning if any of you wish to discontinue working here. If you choose to leave, I will make sure you are paid up to the end of the month and provide you with sterling references for your next job, wherever that may be.”

Before any of the maids could say anything else, Dan strode out of the room, turning down the hallway and toward the staircase that would take him up to his suite taking up the eastern half of the second floor.

edited 4th Sep '11 6:27:06 PM by Nodrog

"Well." remarks Junko, "Ain't that a kick in the head. I'm out 20 bucks...Oh well better then the last bet I lost."

"What was the last one again?" Kyla asked. "I kinda lost track after the first four."

"If we decide to head for the hills he'll make sure we get our pay and we can use him as a reference when we look for a new job." says Junko. "Course I doubt any of us wanna go but it's a nice offer, a few death traps probably makes this place safer then where I grew up."

"This is absurd," Hitsugi spat in disbelieving tone. Adjusting her thin, under-rim glasses, she turned to scowl at the doorway though which the master had just exited. "What kind of spy just announces that sort of thing to the hired help - and even if he's telling the truth, why would he need to bring a common maid with him to deliver these 'Macguffin Papers,' whatever they are? Why keep them here at all?" Tilting her head to the side, the kimono-clad girl peered askance at her coworkers from under the edge of her hime-cut bangs.

"Nahhh the kinda stuff my parents used to work on thats absurd, who would need an atomic chicken plucker anyhow....Anyway it ain't really our job to ask questions like that, though if I'd have to guess about the papers he figures this place is secure enough to store the things. As for why a maid, why not? Doesn't have a butler to take along now does he? Besides I wouldn't call most of us here exactly common maids." she tugs on one of her pointed ears as she say that last bit. "A few of us do have some unusual talents, never know what could come in handy. Anyhow things are probably going to get pretty lively around here, might be a good idea to make sure we've got the high grade cleaning supplies for a while."

At the mention of 'unusual talents' Hitsugi turned to regard Junko with a sneer - or perhaps that was just her default expression. Sometimes it was hard to tell. "Oh, I'm sure the ability to melt the oven through the floor whilst trying to bake a cake would be useful to a spy somehow," she granted, "but where does that leave the rest of us?" She was still afraid to touch any of the appliances in the kitchen for fear of encountering another one that the technically-inclined girl had decided to 'upgrade.'

"Shall I try to dust any would-be assassins to death?" Hitsugi suggested, lifting her hand to make a few delicate dusting motions before holding her palms up in a beseeching pose. "It just seems so... so... irresponsible! Even if we decide to leave, it's not like we'd be free to do as we please; he's already told us he's a spy!"

Dropping her hands to her sides, the Japanese girl trudged over to the antique-looking globe in one corner of the lounge, opened the base to reveal the small bar within and poured herself a half a tumbler of rum. "This is not how a proper gentleman treats his loyal and dedicated servants," she noted bitterly over the edge of her drink.

edited 4th Sep '11 9:30:59 PM by Alhazred23

"A spy is not a gentleman," Lisbeth added from her seat in the corner where the German woman lurking behind her fellow maids. Standing up, smoothing some imaginary fold from her dark blue dress, the black haired woman seemed more reserved then usual, "I, for one, think it is decent of him to at least mention we're surrounded by more dangers then normal."

She cast a sideways glance at Junko.

"Yes, at least Dan would tell me if he decided to mess with my stash." Kyla was referring to the blood she kept in her room in case she got a craving while she was upset. "And you two aren't innocent either. It's not like I can tell what color I am."

The argument was cut short by the noise of a twig breaking, outside the reading lounge window. The light cast by the fireplace made it impossible to see what was outside the window.

"Did someone already come to get the McGuffin papers?" Kyla asked. "Oh, by the way, I should probably remind you that while fighting isn't what we came here to do, we're not exactly helpless, either."

Despairing that none of her fellow maids seemed to think much of the danger that the Master had so thoughtlessly dumped them in, Hitsugi released a put-upon sigh and moved toward the fireplace, tumbler and bottle still in hand. "And if it is some sort of 'enemy agent,' then what? Shall we go find our unexpected 'guest' and 'show them out?'" she asked, not turning to address the redhead because she knew Kyla wouldn't be able to see the incredulous look on her face.

Sliding open the grate in front of the fireplace, Hitsugi put her glass on the mantle and grabbed an iron poker. "The Master did say that the manor was filled with all manner of misfortune to greet the unwary," she noted, stirring the coals furtively (and blocking the reflection of the flames in the window). "If it truly is an intruder, I should think that it would be safer to wait and see if the traps deal with them before charging into the unknown, brooms held high."

edited 5th Sep '11 10:28:03 AM by Alhazred23

"But at the same time, if it's someone friendly, we don't want them to accidentally fall into the traps..."

Hitsugi: Moving your dice roll. Luck is, after all, about unlikely things happening. Your dice roll (3) * Luck (3) = 9, 9>7

When Hitsugi pokes at the fire, the poker accidentally hits a certain brick. Part of the fireplace mantle rises up, revealing a hidden weapon cache holding two loaded shotguns (five shots each), two static stun guns, and a set of plastic ties designed to be used as disposable handcuffs. Due to Hitsugi's location, she is the only one who can see the weapon cache.

Kyla hears a faint click from the fireplace but also hears the muted beeping of a cellphone, just outside the window.

The other two maids can now see out the window; a spindly looking man, dressed in black and wearing a black hood, is using a cellphone to text a message.

edited 5th Sep '11 11:36:34 AM by Nodrog

"Hm," Lisbeth murmured as Hitsugi's occlusion of the firelight allowed her a glimpse of their unwelcome visitor with the eye not covered in a milky film. Reaching into a pocket, she pulled out what looked like a folded multitool, "It cannot hurt to ask."

"Speaking of which, I think I heard that guy using a cell phone just now," Kyla said. She decided not to say anything about the click from the fireplace.

The man starts to back away from the window, still busy typing a text message into the phone. He is not carrying any obvious weapons, but is wearing a belt with burglary tools.

edited 5th Sep '11 2:24:49 PM by Nodrog

"And now he seems to be leaving..."

Though she was facing the other way, Hitsugi guessed from the change in demeanor of the other maids that their watcher outside the window was more than simply a lost cat. 'That guy,' eh? Placing her bottle of rum on the mantle, Hitsugi picked up her glass and drained it before setting it down again. As she was doing this she palmed the stun guns and plastic restraints and hid them in the puffy sleeve of her apron. She also took one of the long wooden matches used start fires in the hearth and struck it on the brick mantle.

The shotguns would be more problematic to explain so she left them for the moment. Jabbing the switch again to close the secret compartment, Hitsugi swiftly turned and moved toward the window in question. The simple but effective lock took but a moment to unlatch with the end of the red hot poker and as she threw the window open she spat a mouthful of rum on the intruders clothes, then flicked the burning match at him. While the intruder was (hopefully) preoccupied with trying to put himself out she palmed the stun gun from her sleeve and prepared to vault over the sill.

Luck (3) x Roll (2) = 6. Guy's luck (1) x Roll (1) = 1. The lit alcohol causes him to drop the cell phone and takes 6 damage, leaving his spirit at 4

The mook shrieks in pain and surprise, dropping his cell phone. He turns to run, slapping at the flames covering his black shirt, trying to put out the flames. In his haste he trips, hitting his head on a rock and driving himself unconscious.

edited 5th Sep '11 2:57:48 PM by Nodrog

"When your clothing is on fire, the first thing you should do is, 'Stop, Drop and Roll,' sir," Hitsugi noted in a professionally scolding tone, reaching out with the glowing iron poker to try and snag the man's belt or pants pocket.

edited 5th Sep '11 3:12:49 PM by Alhazred23

Kyla leisurely gets up and follows Hitsugi out the window, stopping to pick up the cell phone that the mook had dropped.

edited 5th Sep '11 2:59:02 PM by FlashOfSonic

Mook rolls (6) x Athletics (1), not enough to beat a 15. He takes 15 / 1 = 15 damage, which should in theory put him at -9

The poker hits the back of the man's belt, causing the belt to burn and split. The man's pants drop down around his legs, revealing a pair of blue boxer shorts decorated with pictures of yellow rubber duckies. The man stumbles and trips, hitting his head on a rock. He is now unconscious.

edited 5th Sep '11 3:04:52 PM by Nodrog

Hiding the stun gun back in her sleeve, Hitsugi vaulted over the sill to straddle the unconscious would-be burglar and pulled his hands behind his back, just in case he was only acting. When it became clear that he truly was out like a light, she debated using the plastic ties in her sleeves for a moment, then called over her shoulder, "Someone find some rope, or maybe some garbage bags!" That said, she got to her feet and dragged the unconscious man back into the study through the window, turning him over on the ground once to make sure that his clothes were properly extinguished.

edited 5th Sep '11 3:14:41 PM by Alhazred23

Pocketing the mook's cell phone, Kyla climbs back in the window and goes to grab the coil of antique rope off the wall in the hallway.