Pick a verb.
I choose BUMP!
Contributed by a friend:
Clint Eastwood presents: Meet The Veterinarian
Hey look buddy, I'm a(n) veterinarian, that means I solve problems. Not problems like "What is Italy?", because that would fall under the purview of your conundrums of Avian Science. I solve cold problems! For instance, how am I going to stop some big mean horse from tearing me a structurally adorable new finger? The answer: use a wedding ring. And if that don't work, use more wedding ring! Like this mysterious caliber, computer-mounted, hot 'ol home designed by Austin, built by Mark, and you best hope...not pointed at San Francisco.
Mike K presents: Meet The Guidance Counselor
Hey look buddy, I'm a guidance counselor, that means I solve problems. Not problems like "What is Ewok?", because that would fall under the purview of your conundrums of architecture. I solve fluffy problems! For instance, how am I going to stop some big mean tangerine from tearing me a structurally eldritch new elbow? The answer: use a deodorant. And if that don't work, use more deodorant! Like this crunchtastic caliber, pizza-cutter-mounted, abominable 'ol puppy designed by Bill O’Reilly, built by Stevie Nicks, and you best hope...not pointed at The Pope.
Let's see if this will catch on...instructions are as follows:
___(1)___ presents: Meet The ___(2)___
Hey look buddy, I'm a(n) ___(2)___, that means I solve problems. Not problems like "What is ___(3)___?", because that would fall under the purview of your conundrums of ___(4)___. I solve ___(5)___ problems! For instance, how am I going to stop some big mean ___(6)___ from tearing me a structurally ___(7)___ new ___(8)___? The answer: use a ___(9)___. And if that don't work, use more ___(9)___! Like this ___(10)___ caliber, ___(11)___-mounted, ___(12)___ 'ol ___(13)___ designed by ___(14)___, built by ___(15)___, and you best hope...not pointed at ___(16)___.