vigilantly taxonomish
Sounds kinda like an alt rock song, really.
With poetry, form and structure are important considerations. The types of poem I see most often are free verse and sonnet, but neither of those is necessarily the best fit for this; there are others to consider.
If you stick with the type of language you use there, the result is going to be a rather modern sounding poem. Free verse is quite good for that, but you need to consider what elements make it poetic. A free verse poem should not look like you typed it in prose and hit the space bar a bunch of times (something I'll freely admit is a problem with most of my own attempts at free verse).
A sonnet, by contrast, is a more traditional format, and typically sounds moderately old-fashioned.
If you want the poem to be mournful, you could write it as an elegy, which can be any length but must be written in elegiac couplets
. These are commonly used for epitaphs, but this is by no means their exclusive role.
edited 17th Jun '11 12:11:55 PM by BobbyG
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Ya it is prose and I do have some alt rock roots in my poems at times. I'll admit I do not know all the terms you use. I'll look up the kinds you said, one of those sounded good. It's kind of a 'cry cause your happy yet sad' kind of thing.
It's like they are weirdly mixed and I want to move the reader with that when they read it. Just turning it into poetry from prose will be the hard part. I need to find out how to essentially communicate all this now into wording that would actually work in a poem. Being concise has always been a problem for me, I use a lot of words to convey stuff. Probably because I have so many communication gaps when only a small amount of words are used.
as of the 2nd of Nov. has 6 weeks for a broken collar bone to heal and types 1 handed and slowly
vigilantly taxonomish
Well, a poem could be in any kind of language, really. The important thing is, you are not just writing an essay with that language, you are using it to paint a picture. In other words, think about how the words sound. Read it aloud, see if you like the effect, revise it if you don't. That's the key difference between prose and poetry.
Welcome To TV Tropes | How To Write An Example | Text-Formatting Rules | List Of Shows That Need Summary | TV Tropes Forum | Know The StaffI'm confused. Prose can paint mental pictures. I thought the difference was it had rhythm and meter.
as of the 2nd of Nov. has 6 weeks for a broken collar bone to heal and types 1 handed and slowly
vigilantly taxonomish
Not a mental picture. I was speaking figuratively. Probably a bad choice of metaphor.
Most poetry is rhythmic, though some styles are not.
Not all poetry has meter. Free verse doesn't.
In prose, the meaning usually comes first. In a poem, the sound is typically every bit as important.
edited 19th Jun '11 7:21:15 AM by BobbyG
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So, this morning about an hour ago, I was all lonely and stuff and looking back at how ruined my life was, and what all other people have. I watched some late night stuff about... something. I don't remember but it got me thinking about life and people's relationships a tiny bit. Just a seed.
So I am thinking and crying a bit, and decided to not hide from the emotions, so I put on the one song that almost never fails to make me cry. Piano Man.
Really, to me I guess, it is a song about people just coming to a bar and living their lives. A snapshot of people's lives, some depicted as down on their luck and some as being at the top of their game.
The basic message is that people are wasting what they can have, while people around them, like the narrator (me) have nothing.
So I got this, the basic thoughts flowing through my head at the time. The quick-out-of-no-where title I came up with is "it makes me cry". Brackets are essentially out of character info for clarification.
[I cry because what two people can have is so beautiful, and I see it all around me. I am so happy for them, because I realize I will never have this because I am afraid of hurting someone and not being good enough]
I see those around me with a time a merry with a time a misery those who destroy what they have over a fit, and abandon things they always have
i sit, looking at all i see. i know my life sucks, abused and torn never had someone there like that, someone to just listen not much of a person am i, the bars on social conventions so high for me and still i see
that life is buety and i cry, and weep, at first for what i dont have but that someone can have it
i drown alone, loneleness sinking in, i see two lovers squable, ruin what could be but for what? when others would give anything for five mintues of what they had
i know I would
never been with anyone, there is a nawing feeling of abandon [alone]
Sitting in the dark, contiplating my ruined life. It never got off the ground, but then again, where was it going? There was no passangers, no attendents, not even my own co-poliot, just me.
Crash, smashed on hte runway on takeoff when push came to shove. A Nd I see these kids, throwing away all they have, just cause' the heat of the moment.
Well I've been there kids, and it ain't fun, when in a world today when one bad mistake will fuck you and leave you picking up the pieces thats what happened to me... a slippery slope of snowballs.
Now, I see the lovers squable and fight, but it shouldn't take long to realize that this could be more. just love, forgive, make the best of what you got. maybe right now you don't have much, but fuck it, it's more than I'll ever have. And if you can't see the buety in what you have, then you give me no reason to see another day.
Why bother, fight and claw at life? Just live! This is the reason we have emotions! This is the reason for art and love and life! Just live! The meaning of life is to just live it and make the best. so forgive him that slip, forgive her that spite, just live!
Ya, not sure exactly how to go about it. I did type this when crying a bit and listening to piano man go through twice. But this is the basic thing I want to convey. I just want to squeeze it all down but I am not sure. The message in this one feels more layered in different parts that all need to be there for the whole picture to come across. I'm typically fine with more simplistic messages and themes, but this one has like four different layers I want to convey.
1. im lonely 2. i wont ever have what you have 3. others would kill for an ounce of what you have 4. dont waste what you have, make the best of it, just live life, dont end up like me
So I got those parts I want to convey, but I don't know how to approach it, or even what type of poem format I should use. What should I do?
as of the 2nd of Nov. has 6 weeks for a broken collar bone to heal and types 1 handed and slowly