Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
Now for discussion of settings:
In my verse, one out of every five people have some capacity of Augmentation * . Since it can be potentially dangerous, the government includes PADT (Potential Augmenter Detecting Test) in mandatory annual health check up* for those who are 12 years and older.
This is how PADT works; when Augmenter uses his (for the sake of convenience) ability, he has to activate Converter Circuits, a system in body that fuses human body's and the nature's energy and combine them into ESP (Eisen Steiner Particle), which is basically Mana. When ESP is used, always a bit of residue is left in body. This residue is called Augmentation Trace. By the way, this can also be used to identify what kind of Augmentation was used in crime sites as well.
Anyways, PADT makes people step on two runic circles that is hooked to a machine and activates the circle. One measures amount of AT present in one's body, by activating the circle that causes reaction from AT that can be measured by the machines. The other one measures how developed a person's CC is. More powerful an Augmenter is, more developed his CC is.
From analysis of data from both measurements, people are ranked in five levels: 0 (incapable of Augmentation), 1 (capable of Augmentation), 2 (somewhat proficient), 3 (proficient), 4 (very proficient), 5 (dangerous).
Most population is 0 to 2. Everyone above 3 is recorded in the goverment's special watchlist.
Oh, and in every city block, there is a Disspator, a generator that can detect Augmentation and fire off waves that can disintegrate ESP, nullifying it.
Would this system be enough to keep Augmenters in check? If not, what else should keep in consideration?
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
Hmph, it's time I actually start to write this thing. I was considering starting with a military raid scene but that proved to be too much of a work so I'm just going to start with the main characters talking in their school.
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
HIGH IMPACT SEXUAL VIOLENCE
I'm going to try and keep this under my watch. I'll try and give you my thoughts on the excerpts and pages I read bit by bit.
ALL CREATURE WILL DIE AND ALL THE THINGS WILL BE BROKEN. THAT'S THE LAW OF SAMURAI.
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
Thanks!
Take your time. Unforunately I'm a bit...occupied at the moment. 
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
Okay, here I go. I'm not going to care if I'm missing some details or not, I'm gonna start this and roll with it as I go.
Jang Hyun-Soo had been waiting for thirty minutes.
Not that it inconvenienced him much. He always carried at least a couple of books with him, but he found it hard to focus on the content. It was his first time coming to a movie theatre in his fifteen years of life and he always appreciated going to new places. To make things better, it was his closest friend that called him. Because he didn't know what to wear, he simply came wearing his school uniform; dark pants and navy blazer jacket with red and yellow Sang Chun High School insignia. Under his stoic expression, the teenager was jumping up and down with excitement.
"Oi!"
Hyun-Soo perked up and turned to the voice. As excited as he really was, for the onlookers he looked nothing but disinterested.
A very tall boy wearing a sleeveless red jacket and dark blue jean waved. Upon closer look, Hyun-Soo noticed the bear picture on his white shirt. His light brown hair was clumsily combed back and Hyun-Soo thought it suited his broad grin rather well.
"Pleasant afternoon. You are late."Hyun-Soo spoke, in a quiet and even accusatory tone. He frowned at how he spoke that way unconsciously.
"Sorry, sorry."Ji-Ho apologized. "Sunbae’s* scooter ran out of fuel half-way so…yeah."
"Actually, we just had to stop because you had to stop when you got hit by a brick."
Another boy, smaller than Ji-Ho but tall nevertheless, spoke between yawn. He wore a white sweater and light blue jean.
"Hey, come on, sunbae, what the hell? I thought we agreed to not to speak of this! Besides, that fucker totally deserved it, don’t’ ya think?!"Ji-Ho exclaimed, flailing his arms around.
"The police officers sort of disapproved that notion."Chang-Min poked the tall boy on the temple. "For goodness’ sake, it’s not like it hurt you or anything."
"Of course it fucking hurt! How can a fucking brick to the face NOT hurt!"
"You don’t even have a scratch."
"It’s irrelevant!”
"I’ll have to ask you to calm down, Ji-Ho."Hyun-Soo requested in a somewhat maternal tone.
"Okay, fine, fine. I’m so going to get that fucker’s skin."
"What did I tell you about getting into fights? I’d rather not hear that you’ve forgotten."
"Yes, mother, I get it."
"Now, who would that sunbae be?"
"Oh yeah, I haven’t introduced him yet, did I?"Ji-Ho cleared his throat. "Okay, this is Sun Chang Min from 3-1. Sunbae, this is Jang Hyun Soo from my class."
"I’m pleased to make your acquaintances."Hyun-Soo bowed slightly.
"Yeah, same here. Sheesh, what’s with bowing kid, cut it out."
"My apologies."
"That isn’t necessary…"
"Heh, he’s cute isn’t he?"Ji-Ho asked, standing behind Hyun-Soo and putting his hands on his shorter friend’s shoulders.
"Got to say. If it weren’t for the uniform, I would have thought if he was your girlfriend or something."
"I know, right?"Ji-Ho said, stretching Hyun-Soo’s cheeks. "He’s prettier than most girls in my class and that’s saying something."
"I haven’t been in your class so I can’t really say."
"You should totally see him in-"
"That would be enough."Hyun-Soo immediately cut in.
Well, just a small snippet for now. Gotta start somehow.
As you can see, at the beginning, it will be a Slice of Life series. It won’t stick around for too long, though.
God, I need work on character description/introductions.
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
HIGH IMPACT SEXUAL VIOLENCE
okay, now that you've got the ball rolling again, I'll try and help you out as best I can. Expect a response soon.
ALL CREATURE WILL DIE AND ALL THE THINGS WILL BE BROKEN. THAT'S THE LAW OF SAMURAI.
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
@Schitzo - Where's my response, man? ![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
Okay, a very short snippet before I go to sleep. I don't know, I felt like it.
Chang-Min raised his eyebrow but didn't say anything further.
"O...kay. By the way, did the girls arrive yet?" Chang-Min asked, yawning.
"Apparently they are...right over there!"
Ji-Ho beamed, pointing at a group of three girls. The shortest girl of the group noticed him and waved.
"Oi, here, here!" Sun-Mi waved. Hyun-Soo wondered if she could wave faster than hummingbirds.
Two other girls turned to the boys.
"It seems that they made it in time. Does it surprise you?" Han-Sol asked her friend.
"Tsk, I don't care." Sun-Ah grunted, adjusting her white cap and combing her hair with her hand.
"Is that so?" Han-Sol giggled in a refined way. "Ah, it seems that Hyun-Soo came too."
"Well, what do you know, he did." Sun-Ah raised her eyebrow. "That idiot must have succeeded in dragging that girl."
"It's not like we tried that hard." Han-Sol paused. "Wait, girl?"
"Oh, you know, it's a long story, sunbae."
"I...see." Han-Sol decided to take a look into this. Hyun-Soo shivered for some rason.
Ahr river
Reason
Also, it's fairly heavy on the dialogue, but not the descriptions. Any specific reason?
Read my stories!
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
That's...well...uhm...refer to this thread.
Yes, I have no excuse. 
Okay, basic cast info:
- Boys
- Jang Hyun-Soo
- Cheui Ji-Ho
- Sun Chang-Min
- Girls
- O Sun-Mi
- Yu Han-Sol
- Yi Sun-Ah
Characters name may change.
edited 18th Jan '12 8:59:50 AM by dRoy
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
Very short snippet, just to stop myself from giving up.
"You know, you are supposed to ask that kind of question before you come." Ji-Ho replied, wagging his finger. "Anyhow, you see...uhm...well..."
"I distinctly remember you going on a very extended arguments on why we should all watch this movie. What happened to those?" Sun-Ah said, raising her eyebrow.
"I...don't know. It came much easier back then."
"Ah, of course. Oh well, what can I say."
Nah, that was my intention. This is the first time I used a third person point of view as a POV character. I guess it's a bit trickier than the first person POV.
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.