ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

     Carna's Domain    

Oh, heck.

-PEFE!Every, deciding that the risk of annoying Carna by talking to her outweighs the risk of annoying her by checking an un-agreed-upon drawer, checks the remaining drawers in the room along with Cytosol-

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

   Carna's Domain   

-Top long drawer, nope.-

-Top short drawer, nope.-

-Middle long drawer, nope.-

-Middle short drawer, nope.-

-Bottom long drawer, nop— wait hold on, something odd flashed by in the reflection of a pair of tweezers as the drawer slid open.-

     Carna's Domain    

Well, this is just terrible aesthetic.

-she checks more closely at the tweezer glimmer-

Cytosol: <If that's it, get ready to teleport out. Quicklike.>

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

   Carna's Domain   

-Sure enough, there appears to be something vaguely flash-drive-like, suspended on the "top" of the drawer and held in place by what looks like some sort of wire.-

     Carna's Domain    

Jackpot!

Cytosol: <Every, wai—>

-yoink-

PEFE!Every: Thank you so much for all of your help!

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

   Carna's Domain   

-The flash drive is removed, the wires are pulled, something in the wall breaks, and the entire facility loses power.-

Carna:    ...   

-Emergency power kicks in, but the deed is done.-

     Carna's Domain    

PEFE!Every: Well, that sounds very much not like my problem. Rotary!

Rotary: <...Hey, Every?>

PEFE!Every: Less talk, more click, please!

Rotary: <There's a slight problem.>

PEFE!Every: Yes I know and that problem is us still being here!

Rotary: <No, I mean that this whole area is under the effects of a teleport blocker.>

PEFE!Every: ...You mean teleport disruptor, right? Because that shouldn't cause us any problem going out.

Rotary: <No, I mean teleport blocker. I can't extend any sort of extraphysical psychic cohesion field. We're quite stuck.>

-there's a long pause-

PEFE!Every: (to Carna) Wow, good thing you've got emergency power, huh?

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

   Carna's Domain   

Carna:    ...YOU ARE AWARE THAT THIS FACILITY IS FULL OF DANGEROUS EXPERIMENT SUBJECTS, YES? WHICH HAVE BEEN BREAKING OUT OF CONTAINMENT ODDLY FREQUENTLY AS OF LATE. KEEPING THEM IN THE SAME STASIS THEY HAVE REMAINED IN FOR YEARS IS VERY DIFFICULT.   

-She advances toward PEFE!Every-

Carna:    OF COURSE, I CAN ASSURE YOU — YOU'LL BE SAFE AND SOUND IN THE MORGUE!   

edited 18th Dec '17 9:12:08 AM by BittersweetNSour

     Carna's Domain    

-a part of PEFE!Every is reminding her of her plans for dealing with Carna if it came to that-

-a second part of her is reminding her that her plans involved not being in any kind of close quarters with the Salazzle, and she's more or less screwed the Stoutland there-

-neither of those parts really holds much cachet compared to the third, which is just screaming-

Cytosol: <Desperate measures time.>

-she uses a Psyshock, which while fairly tough for a Solosis is still not terribly impressive-

-PEFE!Every, meanwhile, grabs Cytosol and bolts through the doors, which thankfully open the correct way to not just knock her out-

edited 27th Oct '17 11:45:39 PM by memyselfandI2

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

   Carna's Domain   

Carna:    GET BACK HERE YOU RUNT!   

-She bolts through the door, bursting through with a Flame Charge and nearly knocking it off its hinges just like the front door of the facility was.-

     Carna's Domain    

Cytosol: <Actually, for her species she's above average height.>

PEFE!Every: Not the time not the time not the time

-PEFE!Every has numerous skills. She can prepare lichen in a variety of semi-edible fashions. She can determine the mechanisms behind most Pokemon moves, amplify them, exploit them, and suppress them when necessary. She is very good at hiding, and in fact was banned from the PEFE Hide-And-Seek Tournament after going missing for a week-

-one skill she never really developed, however, was sprinting-

-she's barely cleared the door by the time Carna pursues, and is Flame Charged. As predicted, her labcoat does a lot, though not everything, to prevent her being set aflame-

-not a lot to deal with the giant Salazzle though. She's sent tumbling down the hallway, which while sort of aligning with her goals is a lot less controlled than she'd like-

Cytosol: <Stay back!>

-she forms a Reflect barrier, and then grabs another ball from PEFE!Every's coat, sending out Sharptooth-

Sharptooth: <And what could possibly have justified you bothering me at this ungodly hou—>

Cytosol: <Pontificate later! Fight now! We can't beat her and we need to escape!>

-Sharptooth goes in with a Bulldoze-

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

   Carna's Domain   

-Carna snarls as she (and the ground below her) is Bulldozed, putting a damper on her speed boost from the Flame Charge-

Carna:    YOU WILL NOT BE THE FIRST TRAINER AND TEAM I'VE BROUGHT TO THEIR END!   

-She picks up Sharptooth and rams him directly into the wall, needles digging into him.-

Carna used    Shadow Break!   

Carna:    YOU HAD BEST HOPE YOU'RE THE LAST!   

edited 28th Oct '17 12:12:12 AM by BittersweetNSour

     Carna's Domain    

Cytosol: <Technically, that statement is true regardless of whether or not we die here. It's quite valueless.>

-she uses another Psyshock-

-Sharptooth does his best, but "fighter" is relative. The Shadow Break knocks him unconscious instantly-

-Cytosol recalls him, sending out...she's not much of a battler, and she picks Tuft-

Cytosol: <Every! Can you move?!>

PEFE!Every: Something may be broken. I am certainly on fire.

We're going to die here.

Cytosol: <You're a terrible liar. Go.>

-She does. Tuft sprays a Stun Spore at Carna and follows-

Tuft: <How did we screw this up again?!>

Cytosol: <What's the usual answer to that question?>

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

   Carna's Domain   

-The Stun Spore, miraculously, halts Carna's momentum immediately. She twitches as the Psyshock hits, and can't do much but hiss in rage.-

Carna is paralyzed! She can't move!

     Carna's Domain    

Tuft: <Ha! Who's terrifying now, lizard?>

-he blows a raspberry at Carna before being recalled by Cytosol-

Cytosol: <She's as slow as she's ever going to get! RUN!>

-PEFE!Every does exactly that, pausing only to take a wrench from within her coat as she passes the room with the Weavile, and fling that wrench at the tank-

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

   Carna's Domain   

-The wrench bounces off the base of the container. She missed the glass, but it still disturbs the Weavile inside.-

2.

Weavile

High heart rate

-Carna picks herself back up, breaking through the paralysis, and sends a Sludge Wave crashing through the hallway as a last attempt at causing damage.-

edited 28th Oct '17 12:39:41 AM by BittersweetNSour

     Carna's Domain    

-damage is very much caused-

-Cytosol's out-

-PEFE!Every swallows sludge and does not transform herself-

-that said, she's still moving, even if it's mostly on momentum from the sludge-

-and she's deposited somewhere outside the base-

PEFE!Every: -sends out Rotary, still attempting to hack up sludge- Are we out...?

Rotary: <We're about to be.>

Click!

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

   Carna's Domain   

-Carna breathes a heavy, exasperated sigh, and limps back toward the room she was just in, to attempt to fix the power before the Weavile inevitably breaks out.-

Carna:    IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG FEW DAYS.   

Natalie stands, dressed in gold and red armor, looking in a mirror.

Natalie: "Well, I'd say it works reasonably well."

The Zorua perpetually perched on her head nods in agreement.

Natalie: "Iskandar, test."

Iskandar arrives in the room on a Roomba, poorly modified to look like a chariot.

"..."

<...>

Iskandar: <I AM ISKANDAR, KING OF CONQUERORS! HAVE AT YOU, KING OF HEROES!>

Natalie raises a hand to block her face as Iskandar unleashes a blast of leaves at her.

The armor remains undamaged, and Natalie is unhurt.

Natalie: "... Good."

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

-Hajime has woken up early and is wandering around-

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

Blitz: "Wait, initiat-"

Bitz: "-ion?"

-Beat-

"Oy"

-Blitz stares at Levi for a moment when he arrives. Being from hoenn, the markings are very familiar looking even if Levi isn't-

"Ah- Yeah. You're Levi then?"

edited 28th Oct '17 6:28:20 AM by BlitzTrain

Abandoned Thrifty Megamart

-The Gastly was all kinds of confused. First the trial goer just... disappears, but then suddenly Haunter is gone, too. He looks around, unsure of what to do...-

---

-An egg-shaped silhouette lowers down behind the Gastly, tassels dangling from the sides of her head. Doomsday grabs the Gastly and covers it's mouth, preventing it from screaming, before being pulled back up.-

Doomsday: <You don't make a sound, or I bottle you up and throw you into the ocean. Got it?>

-The Gastly just stares in frozen horror.-

Doomsday: <Good. Now, where's the Totem?>

---

-Valvatorez watches the proceedings with unmasked glee.-

edited 28th Oct '17 6:32:30 AM by DuneTheWanderer

Malie City

-Ever and Muninn are sitting on a bench

Ever: Hey, Muninn.

Muninn: <Hmm?>

Ever: Who would win?

Muninn: <Hypothetically speaking? I'm very good at these. I've predicted every victory in every major conflict of the last century.>

Ever: Okay, so who would win, a millennia-old mon with as much combat experience and almost a year of intel on his opponents, or some feathers?

Muninn: <...Cheap shot.>

Pleth: <No, this is a cheap shot.>

Pleth used Dragon Pulse!

Muninn: <What was that for?>

Pleth: <What wasn't it for?>

Ever: Heya, Pleth.

Pleth: <You weren't in the library. What's up?>

Ever: Oh, I've just been a little worried, so I've been wandering around. PEFE!Every's on this weird quest to steal a flash drive, and I hope she's—

Click!

Ever: ...Okay.

-she's pretty clearly not. Aside from the fact that she's coated head to toe in toxic sludge, there's an odd dent in her side-

PEFE!Every: ....Fuck. I was...aiming for Tagg.

-and she collapses-

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Akala Island, 1 Kilometre from the southern tip - 20:34 Remaining

"Hey," he asked his ride, this time speaking directly into their ear as he wrote something up. "think you could bother to stop by Game Freak's studio in Heahea and pick up a couple of bags for me? I'll call them in advance so they know what's happening."

His ride nodded as he was placed a short distance away from the Ruins, where he left the note.

And he texted into the office's group chat so that they'd know what was going on.

19:25 Remaining

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

Malie City

-Ever, with Rotary's help, catches PEFE!Every before she hits the ground-

Ever: Ew ew ew this is so unsanitary where's Amanita when you need her...

PEFE!Every: Are you...serious?

Ever: Couldn't you have picked a less disgusting way to get injured?

PEFE!Every: I'll be sure to...ask you first...next time.

Ever: Much appreciated. Come on, let's get to the center.

PEFE!Every: Trash...can.

Ever: What? I'm trying to help you, you jackass, why are you calli—

-PEFE!Every flails in the general direction of a nearby garbage can-

Ever: ...Oh.

-he helps her over to it-

Ever: Are you gonna, like, MacGyver some sort of—

-that wasn't her intention, no-

Ever: Ew.

-aside from the sludge, there's something resembling coffee grounds-

Ever: ...I read somewhere that that's a problem. Rotary, I know where the center is, can you get us there?

Rotary: <Yeah.>

Ever: Please do.

-he notices a pair of kids watching in mild confusion, and grins sheepishly at them-

Ever: Uh...don't drink and teleport, okay?

Click!

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.