character advice - pregnancy

ok, pathfinder admits he doesn't know something/asks for help...this is a big step

I need some help with a character. she's female (but I can handle that), young (not a real problem), and pregnant (this is the problem)

I'm a guy. i've never been pregnant (duh), never gotten anyone pregnant, and i'm the last child of my generation in the family. Pregnancy is outside the scope of my experience

what are some of the things that pregnancy means for a person (person. physical stuff i looked up. effects of pregnancy on the human body, done. what it does to people, unclear), how do they adjust/cope with the changing situation, and the upcoming 'adventure/challenge' of parenting

are there jokes or other coping methods, tension-breakers, how do other people in a civilised industrialised society treat pregnant women (children are socially important [small population issues])

anything else i've probably missed in my glaring ignorance, much appreciated

edited 2nd Feb '11 8:18:17 AM by pathfinder

Does the character have a family around her and is the father nearby? That will affect how she's treated by people around her, how she feels about the whole issue, etc.

I mean, the only pregnant people I've ever known were married adults with several kids already and husbands hovering around. Probably quite a different dynamic.

Have you tried looking up pregnancy on the wikipedia or google?

I know jackshit about pregnancy meself, but looking on google is pretty informative.

edited 2nd Feb '11 4:36:17 PM by MrAHR

AHR, the the physiological/biomedical side of things, i'm well covered on that front. google is great for that kind of thing

but fiction is about characters, and here is where google's helpfulness starts to dramatially degrade, which is why i'm asking people

Loni, her family is around (in the local area, but not under the same roof), and the father is under the same roof (except when off on work stuff) There's no question about her receiving extensive family (and community) support (because of the high social penalties for failing to help out). in a society with (population<number of people required for adequately function society), children are valuable.

edited 2nd Feb '11 4:51:37 PM by pathfinder

Well then, that's up to you now, now isn't it? Everyone reacts differently.

It depends on the woman and the circumstances.

I’m female, never been pregnant, but I’ve been around a decent number of pregnant women.

In my experience pregnancies tend to bring extended families together, especially the women. When my cousin and I were invited to my mom’s cousin’s baby shower it felt like the family was acccepting us as “grown women” (we were ~12).

Expect the mothers in the family to sympathize/ empathize/ share horrible stories with the pregnant girl and offer lots of advice. Depending on the girl she may eagerly devour her elder’s advice or she may wish to be left alone because times have changed and she’s gonna do this her way.

Lots of people especially dudes are clueless how to act/ what to say around pregnant women.

Depending on the girl’s previous experiences she may “not want to get her hopes up” and do very little to prepare or she may go into super nesting mode shopping, decorating, baby-proofing.

Sorry about the rambling, i'm pretty sleep deprived right now

edited 2nd Feb '11 5:20:46 PM by HistoryMaker

well, if you're this helpful sleep deprived, what are you like fully rested up?

Thanks History, that was quite helpful

edited 2nd Feb '11 5:08:52 PM by pathfinder

You're Welcome

Some forums concerning pregnancy might be helpful if you're trying to understand the "experience". I wouldn't be surprised if at least some of them contain stories and tales about how women felt when going through it.

I heard somewhere that during the first trimester, the woman tends to feel sick and moody because her hormones are going nuts. In the second trimester, she feels great. And in the third trimester, she feels tired and achy from carrying a huge pregnant belly around.

I also heard that pregnant women tend to dream about babies a lot. Which would make sense.