The first two chapters of my story are awful and I need mondo help

So, yeah, what the title says.

I'm having trouble improving it and trying to figure out how to make it better. I know exactly what's wrong with it, and according to the feedback I've gotten, it's a strong enough premise that scrapping it and starting over is bad, but I'm not sure how to improve it.

Long story short: purple prose, need to develop more into a coherent plot progression.

Where's the story at?

So we can help.

...actually since it's a story I intend to submit for publication, I don't have it anywhere :/

And holy crap your avatar is pretty. And, uh, bright and colorful :p

Personally I'd say that if you want to get anywhere you should just write the thing and then revise it once you're done. I'm working on a novel for publication myself.

edited 10th Jan '11 12:24:01 PM by JewelyJ

Gah, I've had this problem myself. It's always been ridiculously difficult for me to fix and improve things. I second Jewelry J's suggestion of just sitting and rewriting. Revision can always be done later, and sometimes new plot ideas and character development will come out of writing the same thing in a different manner. However, there's a couple things that have helped me in the past!

Two things I suggest:

— As far as plot progression goes, do you have a clear idea of where you'd like to go with it, and do you have an outline? If not, the latter goes a long way toward keeping track of where your plot is. Even sitting down and writing out just a couple sentences regarding what needs to happen in each chapter to get you closer to your end goal will probably help. A good balance between getting to know the characters as well as hooking the reader into the plot is also pretty important.

— Purple prose... How purple is it, and what is it describing? Someone once said that you can keep away from that sort of thing by keeping your writing 'honest'. Try not to romanticize things. I think that it's similar to writing poetry in some aspects, with the whole 'less is more' way of thinking. Don't use a bunch of words when one or two stronger words will do the job just as easily. Also, I guess it's worth mentioning that readers are more likely to forgive shades of purple prose if it's not being employed in an action scene.

Overall, I suppose it's just a matter of sitting down to rewrite a bit, and come at it as if you haven't written the scenes before. Hopefully the end result will not only flow better, but be more concise (now you know exactly what you're aiming for, no waffling about). Whatever the solution for you is, I wish you much luck!