History WarpThatAesop / Dragonball

* Even if you’re potentially stronger than the OmnicidalManiac while fused, NEVER take the fight seriously. Despite the fact he killed your wives/mothers and absorbed your sons.

* ''Never'' hit a woman, even if it's in self-defense. Sexually harassing and molesting them and forcing them to flash their panties to you is fair game, though.

* If your brother kidnaps your son, he must die. Don't even try to get through to him. If an OmnicidalManiac kills several of your friends and tries to destroy the planet, [[DoubleStandard he deserves a chance at a]] HeelFaceTurn.

* If your name is Hercule, do nothing. You'll live regardless of what you do and might eventually help save the world.
* If your name is Vegeta, [[KarmaHoudini you can get away with genocide.]] However you must settle to be the [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter King of Second Bananas to your new ally.]]

* Older siblings should be who their parents want them to be, while younger siblings can do whatever they like. Always put too much pressure on the older sibling, but never the younger ones.

** If your name isn't Goku or Vegeta, [[ThisLoserIsYou you suck.]] And you can get away with anything.

* When you've terrified and abused your family to the point of submission just so you can be happy and you also unreasonably place your first son's studies over the welfare of both your husband and your second child, don’t worry about it your just being a good wife and mother.
** When you claim to value logic and common sense, displaying overemotional stubbornness makes you reasonable.
** Also, when people band together to risk their own lives to save the planet, sacrificing their own safety and personal comfort to protect billions of lives who will never even know who rescued them, they are bad guys who belong in a gang.

* If your brother kidnaps your son, he must die. Don't even try to get through to him. If an OmnicidalManiac kills several of your friends and tries to destroy the planet, [[DoubleStandard he deserves a chance at a]] HeelFaceTurn
* Being a total jerk to your ButtMonkey[=/=]NiceGuy boyfriend and treating him as TheUnfairSex for many years in your relationship is forgivable and should be ignored. However, ignoring your husband to make sure your son is okay only once makes you the unforgivable devil from hell.

* If you end up marrying and having a child with the evil psychopath who is responsible for killing nearly half of all mankind (including you and all of your friends) in ''another'' timeline, no one, not even the ally from said ruined timeline who warned you about that person's intentions and power once he eventually learns about it, will give you any grief about it as long as she can fight ''and'' [[BeautyEqualsGoodness is hot enough.]]
** Related to this, the terms "Android" and "Cyborg" are interchangeable [[DubInducedPlotHole (apparently).]]

* Were you a third-generation badass child or preteen who had a hand in saving the world? Then you'll either wind up becoming an increasingly useless nerd or a horndog once you're a teenager. Sorry, but those are the rules.
** Older siblings are born to be who their parents and/or younger siblings want them to be.

* No, your goldfish didn't [[NeverSayDie die,]] he went to another dimension. Right now he's training with his goldfish buddies.

* Do you like [[TheBerserker Broly]]? Do you like the "Power is maximum" meme? If you said yes to any of these two then you are a retard (or a "Brolytard" according to the fanbase anyway). Yes, how dare you like him or some other character and not [[TheHero Goku]], [[TheRival Vegeta]], [[PhysicalGod Beerus]] or [[MartialPacifist Gohan]]. [[SarcasmMode If you like Broly then you deserve to be hated like him]].
** Speaking of Broly. Just being on the screen will get you hated and ridiculed by everybody watching.
*** [[Anime/DragonBallSuperBroly Unless Beerus and Gogeta appear as well]].
* Why stop there? [[AmbiguouslyGay Kale]] and Caulifla get the same treatment.
** Giving the hero a challenge by any means makes you crappy. Remember, only the preferred characters deserve to give the hero a run for his or her money.
** You're garbage if you get strong in a short amount of time. (According to the fan base anyway)

** It's also perfectly okay to [[AbusiveParents punch your kid in the face]], as long as you keep your promises. That makes you better than [[ParentalNeglect someone who ditches theirs!]]
*** Being cold towards your son and ignoring him is far better than being neglectful. This type of bad parenting should always be ignored.

** Its also a good idea to stay married to said husband after all that because...reasons?

* If you manage to ring out the last competitors and you know that the universe will be obliterated. However, it's not your fault. So feel free to glare angrily.
* If someone requested a tournament to the King of all that would led to the losing universe be erased, then you have every right to blame that person for arranging the tournament and declare him as evil despite the fact that the universe are going to be erased anyway and said person actually gave at least one universe a chance to survive. Even if your advisor correctly point this out, it still his fault anyway, especially considering that said guy is way too close with the King of All and the way he acts towards the authorities.

* If you want to fight deadly teenage cyborgs, that a KidFromTheFuture told you about, cyborgs who one day create a hellish future where your son and your friends are dead. Just ignore your new friend's suggestion to find and stop the MadScientist from making them.

* If you want to fight deadly teenage cyborgs, that a KidFromTheFuture told you about, who one day create a hellish future where your son and your friends are dead, just ignore your new friend's suggestion to find and stop the MadScientist from making them.

* How to never die: All you have to do is take all the credit for saving the world and when the time comes the group who actually saved the world will send over their exponentially stronger 7 year-old son, his even stronger 18 year old brother, and the 7 year-old’s super strong 8 year-old best friend to come to save your worthless ass.

* If you want to fight deadly cyborgs, that a KidFromTheFuture told you that they created a hellish future where your son and friends are dead, ignore your friend's suggestion to find and stop the MadScientist from making them.

* How to never die: All you have to do is take all the credit for saving the world and the people who did all the work will let their exponentially stronger 7 year-old son, his even stronger 18 year old older brother, and the younger son’s super strong 8 year-old best friend to save your worthless ass.

* How to never die: All you have to do is take all the credit for saving the world and the needed people would forsake their exponentially stronger 7 year-old son, his 8 year-old friend and the 7 year-old’s even stronger 18 year old brother to save your worthless ass.

* How to never die: all you have to do is take all the credit for saving the world and people would forsake their exponentially stronger 7 year-old son and his 8 year-old friend also the even stronger 18 year old son to save your worthless ass.

** If your son wants to go on a date the same day of the world tournament is on, that's not right, you should force him to cancel immediately.
** Being strong is more important than family. A kid you fought in a tournament has potential to become a strong fighter, so you should go tell your wife and granddaughter to go "fuck themselves" and go train that kid somewhere far away.

* When you've so terrified and abused your family to the point of submission just to make you happy and place your first son's studies unreasonably over the welfare of your husband and second child, that makes you a good wife and mother.

* If you yell at your husband because he wants to take your child off to fight ''life-threatening villains'' again. While you want him to be safe, get an education and live a normal life. Well your clearly in the wrong and your being a total bitch to your husband and son.

* If you yell at your husband because he wants to take your child off to fight ''life-threatening villains'' ,again. When you want him to be safe, get an education and live a normal life. Well your in the wrong and your a total bitch to your husband and son.

* If you yell at your husband because he wants to take your child off to fight ''life-threatening villains'' when you want him to stay safe, get an education and live a normal life. Well you’re clearly just a crazy bitch to your husband and son.

* If you yell at your husband because he wants to take your child on trips to fight ''life-threatening villains'' when you want him to stay home so he can get an education and live a normal life. Well not only are you wrong for suggesting that, your a total bitch.

* If you yell at your husband because he wants to take your child on trips to fight ''life-threatening villains'' while you’d want him to stay home, get an education and live like a normal kid. Well not only are you wrong, your a total bitch.

* If you're yelling at your husband for wanting to take your child to fight ''life-threatening villains'' instead of getting an education and living like any regular child, you're a total bitch.

* If you're yelling at your husband for wanting to take your child to fight ''life-threatening villains'' instead of getting an education and living like any regular child, you're just a bitch.

* If you've had a [[FreudianExcuse hard life]], then it's your own fault and [[ [[FreudianExcuseIsNoExcuse you deserve no sympathy from anybody]].

** Related: [[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd You're dead. Your friends are dead. Your family's dead. Your fucking pets are being skinned alive. Your mom's a fucking whore. You suck at life. The whole world hates you. You're going to hell. Live with it. Game over.]]