- "I am over 3000 years old and made entirely of cold-worked bronze." - My personal quote, originally said by a rather conciliatory yoghurt
Call me Logo (but not Ferdinand, that's my table lamp!). I occasionally go by the longer version of my handle, Logopoliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis. If you must shorten it, miss out the 5th i, and no others, or I will be extremely personally insulted.
I am a totally unoriginal, talentless, boring, and fundamentally dull individual who always posts in black text everywhere, because it contrasts nicely with the white backgrounds which are most commonly found in textual media outside of the smoldering ruins of Geocities. If you are in any way perturbed by this, I suggest that you angrily demand restitution from God.
My name is Albert Franklin. I'm a 17 year old born-again Persian, Great Shah of that tribe, and of the Medes, and of all the lands east of the Aegean Sea, God Emperor to my people and amateur chef, I guess you could call me. I also write instructional manuals on Satanic abuse a lot, but usually don't post them online because the Ways of the Dark One are Many and Winding. I once had a Deviant Art page, which was like a child to me, until it burned down in the Spanish Influenza outbreak of 1918.
I am something of a Mama Bear when it comes to my fingernails, ten ridged plates of transparent keratin resting on a harder keratin matrix named Hildebrand. I live with them, with my brothers, sisters, cousins, second-cousins, mother, father, aunts, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, great aunt, great uncles, my seven dogs, my three cats, my two snakes, my turtle, my three chickens, and my cow Bessie, in the Deep South of Texas, my hometown, and where I have lived for the first 23 years of my life. I've received schooling up to a prodigious eighth grade - the greatest achievement in my family, as of yet. Needless to say, they esteem me as the intellectual prodigy that I am. My brothers, sisters, and cousins are all mindless bugs, conditioned to be stupid by the American propaganda and needless commercialization of the modern world. I suggested foil hats once, but it seems the crafty, corrupt governmental entities have found a better way to channel this material into our brains.
I once ate seventy pies in five minutes.
The only book in my house is Machiavelli's "The Prince".
