The game that revolutionized the industry
"...Oh, noob. How you amuse me so."
Once apon a time, there was a fat, genre savvy 12 year old with a normal boring life. Then, one of his friends recommended TV Tropes, a website that cited the conventions other works used. The result was... not that different, really. He just ended up opening more tabs, is all.
If those big, light blue, and bolded letters, right above the quote didn't give you any signals, that kid was the Eternal Noob. Fond of shitty metaphors, a bit bitter, and insensitive, but I wouldn't bite on purpose...Most of the time.
Just in case I fuck up, big time, I have a spare account in the form of mrsunshinesprinkles
For future killers to know their target.◊
And let it be known that Anonymous Person has complete control over my page, so what I say here might not be what I'm really saying...
The rest of the page
open/close all folders
This water sack contains the following:
- Asperger's Syndrome
- I have most of the symptoms.
- Berserk Button
- Being called brain-damaged.
- Using religion as a fetish
- those who wreak of hubris.
- Child-haters, weirdly enough.
- Big Fun
- Butt Monkey
- I do not want to complain, but i HAD to put this
- Catch Phrase? HA
- Sort of forgoed...err, forwent(?) that one. My catchphrase now is "fuckin' 'ell".
- Covert Pervert
- Deadpan Snarker
- Lets face it, everyone who goes to this freaking site is this, one way, or the other.
- Guilty Pleasures
- I'm 14. I'm not that picky. That being said, some of the stuff I enjoy makes me ashamed of myself.
- Hidden Depths
- I will mention this once, and once only. I am nice on the outside, but I have an inside that is twisted in several ways.
- Hypo Crite
- Despite claiming to hate romantic stories, I read them when I have the chance...
- In my opinion, Envy is an irredeemable bastard, and yet one of my favorite characters is King Bradley. Yeah, the guy who commited mass genocide...
- Nightmare Fuel
- The sight of a spoiled child throwing a tantrum unnerves me, simply because it makes me worry about what's in store for his/her future. I am weird.
- Nose Bleed
- Nah, not what it sounds like. I get nosebleeds ALL THE TIME, and it's either due to the heat of this god-forsaken nation, or due to some horrific injury.
- Old Shame
- Several. I'll just leave it at that.
- Self-Deprecation: It keeps me grounded.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist
- I believe that everyone has good in them, and that the world is something worth seeing. Most of the time.
- Would Hit a Girl
- Yeah. If you piss me off, I will hit you, regardless of sex.
- Younger than They Look
- I might be fat, and tall, but I have the face of a 6 year old
What I like:
- Fullmetal Alchemist (Both series)
- My personal favorite anime/manga ever. Also, one of the first series I ever watched. Though the manga is better...
- Card Captor Sakura
- The World God Only Knows
- Death Note
- A well thought out, meticulously planned dick waving competition. Forget about analyzing its themes and symbolism, and just enjoy the jerk vs dick battle of wits.
- Dragon Ball
- A good old tale about friendship, fighting, adventure, and ki blasts.
- Haruhi Suzumiya
- (I now know where I can get the books) Mind boggling, intriguing, and surprising
- Gakuen Alice
- Seitokai Yakuindomo
- defies any kind of modesty there is
- Detective Conan
- This is the first anime I ever got hooked on.
- Samurai Champloo: Ironically enough, I love Champloo, but I haven't even glanced at Cowboy Bebop...
- Captain Tsubasa
- Rurouni Kenshin
- See Dragon Ball for my opinion on this one. Well, minus the ki blasts
- Fate/stay night- I was attached to the Studio Deen anime, way back when, so this is more of sentimental value. Yes, I was easily impressed back then...
- Mirai Nikki: Same reasons I love Death Note, plus, like it or not, Yuno Gasai is extremely memorable.
- YuYu Hakusho
- Chibi Maruko-chan
- GeGeGe no Kitaro
- Jojos Bizarre Adventure: Parts II, V, and IV: Over the top, action packed, and filled with memorable characters.
- Part VII deserves special mention: The two leads are some of my favorite characters in manga, the insanity of the series is still intact, the intrigue and the intense action will keep you on the edge of your seat, and in both the classical and internetz meaning, it really is epic.
- Powerpuff Girls
- Phineas and Ferb
- SpongeBob SquarePants 1-3
- Fairly OddParents
- Rocko's Modern Life
- Courage the Cowardly Dog
- Anything made by Walt Disney, Chuck Jones, and Hanna-Barbera (Last one's more out of admiration, rather than actual quality)
- Dexters Laboratory
- Pokémon Special
- The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
- Bat Man
- Calvin and Hobbes
- Adventure Time: Random humor, with surprising attention to detail put in world building and continuity.
- The Spectacular Spider-Man: An amazing show that reminded us of why we love Spiderman. Too bad it ended too soon.
- The Amazing World of Gumball
- Super Mario Bros. My personal favorite series of all time
- Super Mario Galaxy in particular is my favorite game ever. Yes, even more than 3 and Galaxy 2.
- The Portal games
- Creative, funny, haunting. Both of em.
- Team Fortress 2
- Crazy shooting blasty multiplayer fun
- Fallout 1,2, and 3.
- The series that redefined the RPG. Yes, a 13 year old has played the entire trilogy. My favorite in the series has to be 2, for being such a huge improvement from one, and although polarizing, has a sense of humor I can't help but love.
Goddamn that was written cutely. :3
- New Vegas is in a close second.
- Holy crap, Nostalgia: the series. What is there to HATE about Pokemon.
- Megaman and Megaman X
- THE 2D SHOOTING SIDESCROLLING KING. Especially 2 and the first X
- I am one of the few that prefers the classic series, compared to the Metroid Vania ones, despite difficulty as forgiving as a mobster, on a bad day.
- Fancy Pants Adventures
- It's a great flash game. PLAY IT NOW. ESPECIALLY 2.
- Both Wii and NES are the most awesome arcade style boxers ever. Also, fukkin hard. I literally gave up on Tyson, and a fighter I forgot in Title Defense.
- Dynasty Warriors: I've only played 5 for the PSP, but I don't care. Mindless plowing through a thousand enemies really brightens up a Sunday Morning, let me tell you.
- Every Ed Mcmillen game I've played so far. Time Fcuk, Super Meat Boy, Aether, The Binding of Isaac, and the like.
- Kid Icarus: Uprising: Either you totally love it, or despise it, and even though it took a bit of getting used to, to me, this game's pure fun.
- Hotline Miami: Satisfies my itch for blood and guts, as well as challenge.
- Batman: Arkham City
- Miami Shark: It's a very short flash game, and you'll probably only replay it a couple of times, but brevity and repetition aside, I have never felt so much joy than those ten minutes I spent playing this and the rest of the series.
- Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines
R Ps i have made.
- The Fallen Angels/ A second chance
- A Game of Fools.
Me In A Ruurpagurr
- Got This Idea from Mokona Zero, and decided that I wanted to do it too.
Eternal Noob's stats:
- Lvl: 14
- HP: 90/90 (Currently)
- Class: Load
- Physical Attack: 140/200
- Physical Defense: 100/200
- Magic Attack: 45/200
- Magical Defense: 20/200
- Speed: 30/200
- Elemental Affinity: Lightning (It is fast, and makes running away easier)/Water
- Social Skills: 150/200
- Default Weapon: Butter Knife
- Possible Weapons: Broken Bottle, Plastic Bag, Fists
- Default Shield: The bodies of fallen party members
- Willpower: -10/200
Eternal Noob's status effects
- "Apathy": The target becomes disinterested with everything in general. Vulnerable for 5 turns.
- "Tears": Eternal Noob's tears flood the battle field for 4 turns, once his health reaches 10%. 25% percent chance of slipping for everyone, including part members.
Eternal Noob's Spells/Special Attacks/Cheap Tricks
- "A Pony": Eternal Noob points and shouts "A PONY". Everyone is distracted for a turn, including party members.
- "Your Mom" Eternal Noob makes a Dirty Joke. The weight/Humor Of the joke all depends on chance.
- Humor Rating 1: No One Is Affected
- HR 2: Everyone wets their pants laughing. -1 damage for 9 turns.
- HR 3: Joke hurts everyone's feelings, including party members, and Eternal Noob Himself. -15 damage for everyone, for 5 turns.
- "THE NUTS!!!": Eternal Noob advises all party members to hit them in the sensitives. +17 Critical Chance for the rest of the battle, But Noob faints, due to herniating his lungs.
- If a character possesses at least 100 guts, or 150 Sadism, he may throw herniated lungs at enemies. The effects are either:
- KABEWM: The lungs explode, damaging all enemies.
- ...Ugh: Enemies without 160 Guts will be afflicted with "disgust".
- Make Love, Not War: Noob attempts to solve things peacefully. 1% chance of enemy peacefully backing away, and healing all party members, but 99% percent chance of increasing enemy's critical chance.
Real name you ask? well its
Paulo Diego. Redacted because I'm ebil. Not telling you my surname, though.
- Argos. A country with rich diversity in ethnicity, flora, fauna, and culture. It was once thought of as a paradise, merging the old with the new. But something happened. Cases of corruption have surfaced, and many have been pleaded guilty. Crime rates surged, and the country soon experienced bankruptcy. The people have started revolting, and the chaos has reached a grand scale. The main hero is Dan full name: Daniel Thornton. A gunslinger, and a knife nut, who is hated by the majority of the country. For years, he has been the lowest end of the crap stick. Not only is he wanted, but his name is connected to a vast amount of conspiracies. And the crimes that he is blamed for sound very inhumane and monstrous. Despite his horrible life, and the fact that the exit is just right there, he only has one goal in mind, and that is to kill one single child. Yes, in a world where an entire country has been forsaken, that is what he has in mind. To kill a child. He will not rest until the child dies, and there is no logical explanation. But many things impede his progress. The high bounty on his head, his only companion (She likes children) and a strange creature with rusted swords. But why is he doing this? What is his motivation? What is the true nature of Dan?
- One morning, two college guys bring their questionably acquired magical talking Sea Bass, and go out fishing at a nearby river, cause there's fuck all else to do. Soon, a magical meteor, the size of a thimble, tears through one of their arms like a fucking steamroller through a gingerbread house, and he starts literally bleeding fountains. After his near death experience, which is played for laughs, a UFO conveniently falls from the sky, gives him a convenient orb, that turns into an arm made of pure energy, that tears through other things, and turns him 12 years younger. Now, with every military organization wanting his destructive power, he decides to have an adventure to save himself from an inevitable ass-kicking, and teams up with several members of supernatural races and organizations(All of them, cute girls, much to his Lolicon of a friend's delight), and tackle a sinister plot. This is supposed to be a parody of a JRPG, with dating sim mechanics not taken seriously, and a sense of humor that can get dark at times. Oh, and an overaching story line, and a myth arc, but who cares 'bout that?
- A group of 5 friends, all boys, decide to walk in the forests, cause of a random glowing light. Soon, a mystical wizard casts a gender bender spell, that turns four of them into girls, and the other one survived, cause he practices dodge rolls, in martial arts lessons. Now, you must either turn them all back into guys, and solve their personal problems, charm one of them, and convince one of them to stay as a lady, and *** her ***, or you can convince all of them to help their personal problems, and *** all of their ***. Also, you can charm one of them, and turn her back into a guy, so you can ***@*$$$ his #$(%(@(#@). Actually, it's not a good idea, even to me, but still. Oh the irony. Ame Nochi Hare did this first. Yey, I'm not so twisted after all.
- WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ. IT'S SO TWISTED! CONTINUE THIS! I LOVE THIS. >:3
- A chef, given a pogo stick for his birthday, accidentally finds himself in a world where food is Serious Business, and the right combinations give you powers, while the wrong ones just explode. Now that a demon critic is destroying the feelings of chefs there, oh, and terrorizing the entire world, the chef must now take his pogo stick, and gather the mystical 7 pieces of cake from the five-star restaurants to end the critic's tyranny.
...Dragonball parody, anyone?
- A comic that focuses on a police force, composed of racial stereotypes, that is forced to deal with a superhero-like rouges gallery. They must use their wits, guns, skills, and guns to deal with the spandex wearing psychos that populate the city.
Pages I have greatly contributed to
All your piss goes here!
Thanks for reading my page all the way through.
Now go on with whatever you're doing
Ok. Back to killing pandas. Or pandies.
How the heck do you call a baby panda? ~Dhana Ragnarok
I HATE DATING SITE ADS!!! -BSMA