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The Reason You Suck Speech: Fanfic

Ace Attorney
  • Turnabout Of Courage: Hazama loves to give these (even almost saying these exact words at one point), but the biggest one comes if you go down the path of the Bad Ending. The speech there is almost like a self-insert for Blackrune, really. He stomps in your face for thinking that he'd ever have so many useless pieces of evidence and unexplained plot threads.
  • In Turnabout Substitution, Apollo delivers one to Rhea Wits, the real Mysterious Bust Killer, after besting her in their final confrontation. She had just previously taunted him before they were due to reconvene in court, admiting that they killed "dozens" of people because their victims simply did not "live life to its fullest" (according to their warped view on life and death), as well as going on about the ecstasy that killing and evading justice provided them with. They considered the only people who really "lived" were thrill-seekers, terrorists, etc., as they lived without fear of dying:
    Rhea Wits: Not bad, for a lower life form. Or perhaps figments of my imagination, telling me my life is over. Oh well. At least I'll die knowing I did something with my life! I'll die knowing my life had meaning, unlike everyone else in this courtroom! You were all so concerned with what I did, with the past. With something that was dead and gone. With mundane details... who did it, where, when, how... You spent so much time on these questions, you were so concerned with them, you stopped thinking about yourselves! Wanna know what was the most amusing part to me?
    Apollo Justice: ...
    Rhea Wits: When everyone kept trying to make sense of the crime! The photographs, the music sheet, the bust... it was all meaningless! I picked out some random words in the dictionary, and voila! My crime scenes. So, how does it feel to know the truth?
    Apollo Justice: ...I've been thinking about what you told me in the defence lobby. And I finally have an answer for you.
    Rhea Wits: Oh, really? I'd love to hear what sort of inane response you've devised.
    Apollo Justice: You are completely wrong. What gives meaning to our lives... is other lives. Those people you talked about, who were truly living, who weren't afraid of death... They aren't afraid of death... because they aren't truly living. They concern themselves with their own lives, and try to find meaning in cheap, short-lived thrills. Do you know why a regular "Joe Schmoe", as you put it, will beg for his life when threatened? Because he has friends and family he doesn't want to leave. Friends and family that he does not want to suffer grief and hardship.
    Rhea Wits: ...
    Apollo Justice: Everything you said has been completely wrong. The only person in this room whose life doesn't have meaning... is you. Poole has been prosecuting solely for Judge and Arthur. Strings is a judge only because of his father. And my reason for staying in this world is right here. *Shows them his mobile phone, as a symbol of his connection between his overseas companions* But you, Rhea. You. I can't think of a better metaphor than this photographnote . At first glance, it seems fine and normal. But on closer inspection... it's fake. You don't live for anyone... not even yourself.

    This is what your life is truly like! *Rips photograph to shreds* Face it: you're shallow, empty... Imaginary. You think you've lived life to the fullest? You think you are the greatest human being, with the most meaningful life out of all of us? You're not. People won't care that you're gone. And I don't mean they won't mourn your death. I mean they'll care so little, they won't even celebrate your death. You think you'll live on in history as an exceptionally feared criminal? Heh. Even that won't happen.

    You are one of the most pathetic criminals I've seen! The only reason you got caught was your own fault. You cross-examined yourself to confession. I gave you the shovel... and you kept on digging.

    Rhea Wits: ...I see. *Has a Villainous Breakdown*

Adventure Time
  • Alex has the titular antagonist saying one to Marceline (and interestingly enough, plays word-by-word homage to the speech Ranger Smith gave Yogi Bear in the 2010 live action movie)
    Alex: That's the problem, Marceline, all that pranks you've pulled. Hey, you know what would be great? If you didn't make pranks. If you could just be a regular vampire. You know, sleeping in her coffin during the day and minding her own business at night. But nope, you're different, you're stagnant, and you have to spend your days being selfish and destructive while everyone else pays the price. I'm sure it's been enough to screw up Bonnibel's life. This time, you had to go down, and turn the Land of Ooo into a dark swamp. Tell me, Marcy, how far you would go now?

Avatar: The Last Airbender
  • In How I Became Yours, Zuko and Mai exchange these speeches after Zuko finds out that Mai concealed the letters about Katara's pregnancy from him. Each accuses the other of being selfish and endangering the Fire Nation, and while Zuko is supposed to be the sympathetic one, Mai's arguments are more convincing.
    Zuko: Now I see why I couldn't love you even when I tried to! My gut knew that you would do something like this to me! A Child mai! You didn't do this for our country! You didn't do this for me! You did this for you! You hate her more than anything since the second you saw her!! And I will not have you talk about her that way! For your selfish reasons, you might have put our country in dander and all that I have built for this nation!! Your a traitor!
    Mai: Stop talking like you care about this country and the people in it! I am your queen and you betrayed us all! It's because you love that tramp!!! You never cared about anyone but yourself you chard monster! I seen it the day you left their little group and became Fire Lord! The way you looked at her said it all! Your the liar!!!!
    Zuko: i'm going to pretend you didn't say chard... monster... Regardless of what you think you saw, at that point in my life, I wasn't with you... your sins are way darker, and your demons more desirable than mine could ever be. I can't trust you anymore. You have made loving you impossible now. You will not talk to me like you now me. You will be stripped of your title. Tonight you will leave the palace... I am not Zuko to you anymore... and you are not my Queen...
  • In Morality Chain, Azula interrogates Iroh over his betrayal at Ba Sing Se. Iroh scolds her that the whole war was brought about because of Sozin's legacy having a feud with Avatar Roku and in turn his descendant that it was endangering the overall peace of the world. However, considering, in this story, Zuko's her Morality Chain, she was nothing but supportive to both of them in their exile (Iroh she was barely civil and only for Zuko's sake), and this action comes across as him betraying the Fire Nation. Zuko takes it especially hard, and the princess is not happy about this.
    Azula: I guess continuing this conversation is pointless. It's not like you actually care about how Zuko feels anyway.
    Iroh: You have no right to say something like that.
    Azula: Don't I? You've been nothing but cruel to Zuko, Uncle. How am I supposed to interpret that?
    Iroh: Cruel?
    Azula: Oh? What else am I supposed to call it when you've been stringing him along for three years, Uncle! You never had any intention of letting him capture the Avatar! He trusted you, Uncle! He trusted you, and relied on you, and now you've taken all that trust and thrown it back in his face!
    Iroh: Those three years were meant to guide him-
    Azula: And even assuming your nonsense holds any water, you 'guided' him so well that no one was more surprised than Zuko when you turned on us! Excellent work, Uncle. You were so incompetent you couldn't even corrupt him properly. You know what, Uncle? As far as I'm concerned, you're no better towards Zuko than Father ever was. At least he was straightforward about things.
  • In What SHOULD have Happened in Avatar the Last Airbender there are plenty of speeches to go around. However, the most memorable and astounding one is the one Yon Rha gives Zuko.
    Yon Rha:You deserve that scar, you pathetic excuse for a prince!
    Zuko:Do you want to die today?
    Yon Rha:No! But I do want you to realize something! Do you know how many years I gave of my life to the Fire Nation military? How many times I pushed myself and risked life and limb for the glory and honor of my nation? Do you think you get to be the head of a specialized division that’s responsible for neutralizing threats from an entire part of the world by not doing that?

    Now you’re willing to kill me, a dedicated, sacrificing soldier, just to gain some kind of victory with her! Any of that sounding familiar? And don’t think I don’t know how you got that mark on your face! Old-nobodies in the middle of the Earth Kingdom know it!

    Now, I don’t know what she told you about what I did or what happened between me, her, and her mother, so I’ll forgive you for hunting me down. But the second! The literal second that you heard my side of the story! My side that told you that I was following orders to take out a credible threat! My side that told you that I was deep in enemy territory and that taking the bender out alive would’ve been near impossible and the time it would have taken would’ve endangered my troops! The second you heard that, you should have stopped this girl and tried to make sure you knew what really happened that day so that you could make the right decision!

    But you didn’t. You did exactly what that general in that war room did on that day. I can see it in your eyes: Winning a measure of respect from this girl was a near-impossible obstacle in your path so you decided to sacrifice a man who loved and defended the Fire Nation to overcome it! So, yes, you deserve that scar. But there’s something else you deserve. You deserve a message, one single message from the hearts, minds, and memories of the entire 41st division:

    Fuck you, Zuko
  • In Opheliac, after Ozai escapes prison and is planning to start a civil war to reclaim the throne, Azula gives one to Aang, calling him out for being too naive and not killing Ozai when he had the chance.
    Azula: No, it will not be okay. Thanks to you, my country is about to be devastated by civil war, and instead of standing up like a man and facing the consequences of your actions, you choose to run like a scared rabbit and hide from the truth. Do you have any idea how childish you are?
    Aang: No, why don't you tell me?
    Azula: Oh, I will. You are a spoiled, idiotic, pathetic little boy who keeps prancing around like the world is a bright, happy place where everything is rainbows and butterflies and happy little turtle-duck families. You refuse to face the world as it is, and because of that, my people and my country are in mortal danger. What do you have to say for yourself?
    Katara: Stop it.
    Azula: No. Let the boy speak for himself. What do you have to say for yourself? (Aang looks at Katara for help and Azula pokes him hard in the chest) Answer me!
    Aang: I needed to get away! I just...I had to clear my head.
    Azula: That isn't good enough.
    Katara: Stop treating him this way! You have no idea what he's been through!
    Azula: Oh? What have you been through, Avatar? You grew up in a temple where everyone loved you and helped you and taught you. Then you ran away and got locked up in ice for a hundred years, while your people were slaughtered. How sad. And then you get out and you spend a year running around the world, having an absolutely fabulous time learning about the elements, with only a couple of hiccups, and you depose my father with a stroke of blind luck. Tell me, have you ever been told that you're wrong? Have you ever felt worthless, or powerless, or small? Have you ever had your heart broken or had anyone ever not love you? No. No, you haven't. Imagine growing up the way I did. Imagine that your worth is measured by how good a firebender you are, or by how badly your brother fails. Imagine that nothing you do is ever quite good enough for your father, and your mother thinks you're a monster. Imagine that no one likes you, that everyone you know is just waiting for the chance to turn on you. Imagine that you have no one to turn to, nowhere to go, and nothing to believe in but yourself. Imagine that running away is not and has never been an option. Can you survive in this world? Could you, for even one day, live that way? (Aang is silent) Answer me!
    Aang: (softly) No.
    Azula: I can't hear you.
    Aang: I said no! Are you happy now?
    Azula: No. Not until you've learned how to.
  • In Snow, Ozai gives one to thirteen-year-old Zuko after watching his son's less-than-stellar firebending.
    Ozai: (after Zuko points out that he could improve if they spent more time training together) I would desire to spend more time with you if you showed the slightest competency at any of the tasks I've set you. Your firebending lags far behind your sister, despite her age. Your marks in school are average at best. Do you think you deserve to spend time with me? Do you think you deserve to inherit the throne?
    Zuko: Father, that's not what I -
    Ozai: Look at you. You think it's a matter of luck that sets you apart from Azula? No. There are a thousand other barriers between you. You are complacent, naive, foolish - not unlucky. You inherited all your mother's softness. But if it's luck you wish to speak about, my son, very well. Azula was born lucky. You, wretched offspring of mine, were lucky to be born.
    • A few chapters later, Azula lets loose on Iroh with one:
    Iroh: Please, Princess Azula. You must not leave bad blood between you. Reconcile with your brother. It is best for both of you.
    Azula: Reconcile? Are you serious, Uncle? He does nothing but blame me and look down on me, and still you think it's my fault? Don't pretend for an instant you care about my side of this. All you've ever bothered with is Zuko. He's your precious little replacement, isn't he? I know why you're out here. I know why you haven't gone to visit him. You can't stand to see him, can you? First your son gets killed, and then your surrogate son gets half his face burnt off. And you probably think that both times were your fault, and you're right! You brought Lu Ten to war, and you brought Zuko to that war meeting. Even your wife ended up dead. You can't love anything without it breaking, can you? Too bad Zuko's going to have a scar. He won't look like Lu Ten anymore.
  • In the infamous Stormbenders, Sokka throws one at Aang for his failure with the Avatar state at the end of season 2, blaming him for things that weren't even his fault:
    "You're sorry?" Sokka rolled to his feet. "Aang, they broke our dad's ribs. They kicked him until he spat blood. Teo's dad is still in prison. People died." [...]"And I love her!" Sokka grabbed Aang and forced him to face Suki. "I love her and they had her in chains and I couldn't get to her and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making up for that because you couldn't get your act together-"

Axis Powers Hetalia

Bleach
  • Quite a few of the in-story reviews in Bleach Fan Works involve this. One standout example is the reviews to Chapter 3 of Jolene Meyer's story.
    Dark Kuroda: I'm a flamer because I said something negative about your fanfic? You really need to grow up and understand that not everyone is going to praise what you do. This chapter is better then your first too, she is slightly more likeable. However, she is making the characters run circles around her. That is what we call a Blackhole Sue. Particularly since you do make the characters OoC here.
    Jolene Meyers: I am just going to ignore you. You don't know what you're talking about. None of what you say makes any sense at all.
    Oshikko: Yes... I am a flamer. I enjoy telling you how much your story actually sucks. Seriously... don't you get that this would never actually happen in the world of Bleach? I enjoy reading your fanfic because I enjoy laughing at your stupidity. Do you actually act like this girl. No... wait, I read Cutie Pie 3's review from last chapter. You're trying to mimic that shit Twilight. You are successful in that but then... that isn't hard to do.
    Jolene Meyers: Don't you dare diss Twilight! You are a moron not to see how great of a writer Meyer happens to be! I laugh at your stupidity, you moron. If my fanfic is so bad, why don't you write your own version, huh?
    Oshikko: Sure I will. Keep in mind, you suggested I do so.
  • Ichigo's Inner Hollow gives one to Orihime in A Black Heart during the Hollow invasion.
    Inner Hollow: "You know... this is all your fault, you know that right? Your friends are getting the shit beat out of them and all you can do is stand here whimpering. Isn't that what you've always done?! What's so hard about helping them out to defend you?!"
    Orihime: "But... I'm not as strong as they are."
    Inner Hollow: "Bullshit! Tatsuki pummeled those basic defense lessons into you, till she was confident that you could hold your own in the future. Yet at no time have you ever, EVER used them! You get groped on a daily basis and still unconsciously expect Tatsuki to save you! So again, why won't you defend yourself?!"
    Orihime: "I... I... I don't want to add any more hurt to this world. W-what if the last thing a person remembered before they died, was how I hurt them?"
    Inner Hollow: "Are you fucking kidding me?! That's even more fucked up than your last reason! What makes you so special that you won't take responsibility for your actions to defend yourself?! What gives you the right to force that burden on Tatsuki?! And if you haven't already noticed Princess, the world's a shithole where bad things happen to good people. ARGH do you have any idea how badly I want to beat your head in right now!"

Calvin and Hobbes
  • Calvin & Hobbes: The Series:
    • "The Case of the Rogue Water Balloon" has this gem, delivered from Calvin to Hobbes:
    Calvin: IT…WAS…YOU! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! MY OWN BEST FRIEND WENT AND GOT ME FRAMED! YOU TRAITOR! BENEDICT HOBBES! I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!
    Hobbes: Uh…Calvin?
    Calvin: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! I WELCOME YOU INTO MY HOME! I LET YOU EAT MY TUNA! I LET YOU POUNCE ME AND ATTACK ME! I LET YOU BE FRIENDS WITH SOCRATES! I EVEN LET YOU BE PRESIDENT OF G.R.O.S.S! AND YET…YOU DO THIS! YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T THROW YOU OUT ON YOUR FURRY BUTT ON THE SIDEWALK FOR THIS!
    Hobbes: Okay, calm down.
    Calvin: YOU KNOW WHAT? EVER SINCE I LET YOU INTO MY HOUSE, YOU'VE GIVEN ME NOTHING BUT TROUBLE! I USED TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE! BUT NOW MY LIFE IS COMPLETELY TOPSY-TURVY, FILLED WITH POUNCES, FIGHTS, CUTS AND BETRAYALS!
    Hobbes: Take it easy.
    Calvin: BUT THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE! YOU DELIBERATLY TRIED TO GET ME INTO TROUBLE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND! BUT I WAS WRONG! YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE, STRIPES! YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE, HOBBES! I AM GOING TO TEACH YOU A LESSON YOU'LL NEVER REMEMBER: NEVER BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU!
    • Near the end of "Thunderstorm", the Season 3 finale, Hobbes mocks the recently deceased MTM as being useless, and Calvin replies as follows:
    • Brainstorm also delivers a smaller one to Thunderstorm later on:
    "You deceived me right from the start. You showed me dreams of ruling the world together, but no! You had to break the promise. It made me realize it was all just a lie!
    And now you get no mercy. SERVANT RAY! DO NOT ATTACK AND DESTROY THUNDERSTORM!"
  • Can You Imagine That? has Hobbes giving one to Calvin (who retorts with a Dare to Be Badass speech):
    "Well, this is just great, Calvin. Just great. Thanks to you, we are now hopelessly lost in an area of the woods we're not familiar with! We could've stayed home for at least a week before the camping trip and have all the fun we wanted. No, you had to make sure your summer vacation was perfect. Well, let me tell you something, buster! Right now, sleeping in a tent on hard rocks and eating dead sea animals and dry spam is starting to sound pretty good right now! You wanna go and get lost in this place? Fine. I'm going home!"

Cross Over
  • In the Harry Potter and Durarara!! crossover fanfiction, Game of the Future, Shizuo gives a particularly scathing one to Izaya after Izaya tells him he thinks humans are scum and are fun to mess with.
    Izaya chuckled darkly, and then laughed maniacally, an act which not only infuriated Shizuo, but also made him scared. —>"What's wrong, Shizu-chan? Have I scared you...? Good. I must let you know one thing. I am above humanity, I don't succumb to their petty emotions, their disgusting, ludicrous, self-centered, twisted ways...I watch them rise and watch them fall like the pathetic little creatures they are...sparing a look of pity for them...pity that they hadn't resisted their fates some more. I mean, what's more pathetic than giving into a destiny that isn't yours and just not even fighting at all?"

    Shizuo glowered at him, and then he slugged him so hard that Izaya fell to the ground, writhing in pain, clutching his cheek, which now felt absolutely numb. He could feel red crimson dripping down his face and landing on his slender fingers...

    "Let me tell you something, flea...it's that disgusting attitude of yours that repulses me. No, it's more than that; it's that cackle you make every time some innocent girl you befriend online and then toy with decides to off herself because you've fucked with her mind; it's that face I see with no emotion as he mocks his 'prey' and lets them suffer because he thinks he's doing them a 'favor', and also, it's that damned lack of self-empathy you have. Can't you feel for those people you cut down and lead them to madness? No, you can't. You're convinced you're above everyone else, Izaya. No one else can tell you you're wrong; they must be insane. That must be the answer for everyone that can see through your facade and see you for the twisted, insane bastard you are-"

    "..."

    "I'm not finished yet, bastard. You know what else I hate about you? I hate your Goddamned self-righteousness, how you think this entire world revolves around you and your pathetic schemes. God of the world? No, you're just an egotistical asshole who feels it's okay to put others down because he's really that insecure about his madness that he feels he should drag down others with him. IF you had any heart Izaya, you'd be changing your ways. But no all you do is cling to your pathetic lies and make excuses."
  • In the Jackie Chan Adventures and Teen Titans crossover fanfiction A Shadow Of The Titans, Jade gives a masterful one to the Master of Games during the last fight of the Tournament of Villainesses after he proclaims he always wins:
    "Yeah, because you stack the deck. And brag about beating up a girl who has already fought hard while you sit on the sidelines. I know real badasses, and you don't even come close to the list," Zhu Chan taunted.
    "Enough of your impudence!" he commanded, firing a starbolt at her. She burst it with an optic blast.
    "Sloppy. You may have a lot of power, but you didn't earn it. They may not have been smart, but at least they know their own power, idiot," Jade shook her head.
  • In Kage (a part of Project Dark Jade, like A Shadow Of The Titans above) Jade gives one to Will over her disgust of the Guardians for framing Raythor for a crime he did not commit, getting him banished to the Abyss of Shadows in the process.
  • In Better Living Through Science And Ponies, this is, as in the games, GLaDOS' bread and butter. She delivers particularly brutal ones to each of the Mane Cast in turn, plus Ditzy Doo, preying on Rainbow Dash's fear of failure, Rarity's vanity, and Pinkie Pie's fear of loneliness. She tells Applejack that she's stupid, tells Twilight Sparkle that the others are only her friends because Princess Celestia is bribing them, and tricks Fluttershy into killing the Companion Cube. However, when she tries to apply the same on Princess Celestia, the Princess effectively engages in Troll Judo, turning every one of GLaDOS' taunts back on her. Even a psychopathic A.I. specialized in Passive-Aggressive Kombat and psychological torture can't compete with Trollestia.
  • In Children of Time, Beth Lestrade stands up both to dark!Holmes and Professor Moriarty.
    • For Holmes:
    Holmes: "Believe what you will, Miss Lestrade — it is of no matter to me. As is your regard for the man you once knew.”
    Beth: "Then what does matter to you? The fact that because you’re now oh-so-aloof-and-alone, you’re not going to be hurt anymore by the people you love? You’re not going to have to see them get hurt or die?”
    Holmes: "That was the entire point of Moriarty’s taking me under his wing, so to speak — the man wished for a protégé, an equal he could mold into a facsimile of himself. As you can see, he was rather successful.”
    Beth: "You coward."
    • For Moriarty:
    "You're not going to win. Sorry, but you can't. It's not in your nature. You will always... beget... your own destruction, because destruction is all you can do. That is why, in the end, you will always lose."
  • In Connecting The Dots, what is a combination of Crowning Moment Of Awesome, Take That, Scrappy! and this trope, Robin trolls Sasuke while Sasuke is trying to torture Robin with the memory of the day his parents died:
    Robin: "It never gets any better, does it?"
    Sasuke: (angrly ignores Robin)
    Robin: "People will tell you the pain goes away, that you'll find a new life, that someday you'll forget all this." (Sasuke intensifies the memory) "But it never does. Others will tell you that once you kill those responsible, then you'll feel complete, then you'll be able to live with yourself. But it doesn't get easier does it?"
    Sasuke: " Do you ever stop talking?"
    Robin: "Only if I have a reason to. Witty banter distracts the opponent, often causes him to underestimate his foe. "In this particular case, I can see that my talking annoys you, so I have all the reason in the world to continue talking."
    • Later:
    Robin: "You know, it's not like you're the first person to try this trick. Scarecrow, Headmaster, Dr. Destiny… I've had more people then you'd believe dig up this scene and show it to me. And no offense, but compared to them? You stink at this."
    Sasuke: "Be quiet!" (intensifies memory)
    Robin: "I'll bet I can guess why, too. This sort of thing is too close to you. You understand it too well to go all the way. So. Let me guess. Your parents died when you were young, and now you've got a vengeance complex built up. I understand that, believe me. In your case, though, I'm guessing you've got some ego-centric issues—that you're somehow 'different' than anyone else because of this experience and that means you can just do whatever."
    Sasuke: "You know nothing. You know nothing of the pain I have endured, you cannot conceive…"
    Robin: "Tch. I know what it's like to lose your parents. I know what it is to lead a life in the shadows, trained by a man who barely knows how to live himself. I know what it is to sacrifice any chance at a normal life for the protection of others, which I get the feeling is something you DON'T know."
    Sasuke: "Oh? And what about losing your entire clan? Do you know what that is like?"
    Robin: "No." (shrugs) "Do you know what it's like to lose your entire planet? Your entire species? Neither do I, but I know plenty who have, and none of them are as big a loser as you are." (laughs). "So you've lost a lot. But have you ever sacrificed something? Or do you just think you deserve everything outright? Cause seriously? That's like a little baby whining for toys he can't have."
  • Chapter 7 of The Devil and the Detective has Michio Yuki giving one to Conan Edogawa when it comes to hiding his secret from Ran Mouri.
    Michio: I think you're the one who's lying. Not to Ran, but to yourself. You're the one who refuses to let her accept the truth. Deep down, you knew that if she founds out who you truly are, your life will have to go back to the way it was before. Your days of protecting her secretly are at an end, Shinichi, so as your attempts to hide. All your dreams have been shattered, haven't they? Life is like that, detective. Sooner or later, the people who are close to you have the right to find out this secret of yours. Whenever you tried to make someone forget about it, it's gonna smack you down. On the bright side, at least you and I won't have to see each other ever again.
  • Though a fledgling fic only ten chapters in, already half that amount has been delivered in this, most of which downplayed.
    "My God, how I envy you," began the would-be world ruler of the skull insignia after a moment of silence spent drawing a breath into the service so many knew, "because you must be the proud owner of some SPACE CEBERUS-SIZED PAIR OF ALGAE CLUMPS TO MALIGN RESTING EYES WHEN YOU NO DOUBT HAD YOURS DOWN WHEN YOU PREPARED THIS JOKE OF A STRATEGY MEETING!

    "BUT AT LEAST YOU ACTUALLY HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR LETTING THEM FALL: SPENDING YOUR STRENGTH CAVING IN YOUR MODEL STILL LIFE MODEL OF A RUMP SEATING IT IN FRONT OF SOME SCREEN, LIVING OUT REAL SUCCESS THROUGH COMICS, OR GRAPPLING WITH THOSE GODDAMN, PAY-PILLAGING GUNDAMS, THE PRODUCTIVITY OF WHICH IS AS LOW RANKING AS YOU OUGHT TO BE!"
    • In chapter five, when Tamama reveals that the sergeant had disarmed the anti-barriers against the Kissho Academy Newspaper club, so as to make them out to be "schizophrenic crazies" in the public eye, the author entity makes no bones about his disgust, even if it's only in reference to its evoker:
    ... Wow. Keroro, I know it's been established before, but you truly are an impetuous, irresponsible ass. And judging by the sweat trickles fading into view against your "friends'" temples, I'm not the only one who thinks so.
    • The Janitor receives his first dose of one in chapter six:
    "NO!" [Natsumi's] plod took a volte-face to deliver the line, the intensity displayed really accentuating those mandatory acting lessons from Michael Shannon. "Just stay away! Every second spent within even a mile radius of you takes a year off my life! You're like a cigarette, but with an axed calming effect! And whiter!"
    • To add further insult, even if his complexion did lean that far on the spectrum, the common consensus with Asians is that paler is better.
    • Ol' blue eyes again encounters this treatment three chapters later:
    "THAT'S IT!" roared the corporal, with the fire of all the Froggerland's children, "I was around looong before you were even an itch in the pants of whatever abomination slithered out from Hell's chamberpot, so, as you can imagine, I've had some time to cross paths with even writer-repelling characters: know-it-all Lexiconians, rebel bombers, Christopher Walken impressionists! But now, in the span of one, one sliming week, you've hit the bullseye in coming to be the single worst son of a blaster - living, dead, or in-between - I have ever been forced to share a galaxy with!"
    "So I have a life outside work."
    "You (Janitor) are the quintessence of evil."
    "Thanks, but it's nothing my Imams haven't told me before."
  • In Love Hina Double Trouble, a wanted murderer of all people lashes this out on the resident Tsundere duo, Naru and Motoko:
  • To Kill A Thief has Light saying one to Miyako for her attempts in trying to catch Jeanne without knowing it's Maron.
    Light: All those people fighting for justice, they lose. You want a world where people like that are made to be fools? Look at yourself, Miyako. You just made yourself a fool. Unlike you, who constantly denied her best friend is a thief because of the similarities, I immediately knew she's the thief we've been hunting down because of the similarities. You are a useless detective, Miyako. Do you hear me? Useless! Useless because you refused to believe your best friend is the thief we've been hunting down. If you want to be useful, kill the others! Shoot them! Shoot Maron and Chiaki!
  • In Sonic Generations: Friendship is Timeless, Eggman calls out the rest of the Mane 6 for their refusal to trust Twilight in the past, even managing to completely break Princess Celestia by calling her out for treating Twilight as a tool for using the Elements.
    Dr. Eggman: Stop. Just stop right there, Celestia. You've embarrassed yourself enough. I let you speak because I was willing to give you a chance to prove me wrong about your relationship with Twilight, but you've done nothing but disappoint me! You haven't told me anything I don't already know, and you clearly can't take a bone when it's thrown at you... why do you hardly ever see her on your own time anymore? Why does your faith in her seem to be off and on? Why can't you just be open with her? Because you image is more important than anything you care about?! If you do care about her, Celestia, you have a funny way of showing it... you still think that, despite everything, you and Twilight share something special? I believe you had some good words of wisdom for this kind of situation. How did they go again? Oh yes, I remember: You have a lot to think about.
    Dr. Eggman: Oh, shut up! Don’t embarrass yourself the way Celestia did! Hang on to whatever dignity you have, you pathetic excuse for an intelligent being! You gave Twilight some minor comfort, yes, but it’s meaningless when you consider that, whenever one of you does something, she’s often there to comfort you and you can’t return the favor! Like the friendship report incident. When all was said and done, it was out of sight, out of mind. Just like with the whole time travel loop. After all, it’s Past Twilight’s problem, isn’t it, Pinkie Pie? And of course, her brother’s wedding. You think you can ignore what your decision to not trust Twilight could have led to after it was over and the problem and everything associated with it will go away, just like that? Well, get a load of THIS, ponies: it doesn’t work that way!
  • In Child Of The Storm, Thor, of all people, gives one to Snape in a way that reminds that he really is Loki's brother.
    Thor/James: It must just kill you to see Lily’s eyes staring out of my face, mustn’t it. She was your friend. I think you loved her, which is why you hate him all the more, seeing a living reminder that when it came down to it, she chose me. Not you. Me.
    • For context, Thor was previously incarnated as James Potter and he now has those memories back.
  • In the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic/Transformers Generation 1 crossover The Transformers My Little Pony Crossover 2, Discord attempts to harass Galvatron, Cyclonus, and Scourge, boasting about how he is the Spirit of Chaos. Galvatron shows Discord his memories of Unicron (scaring the crap out of him in the process) and proceeds to dismantle him.
    [A flash of light blinded Discord, and he found himself back in the Canterlot throne room. He was on his knees and hands, hyperventilating, shaking. He looked up. Galvatron, Cyclonus, and Scourge were glaring down at him.]
    Discord: W- what… was that?
    Galvatron: That, was Unicron. He is the true Chaos Bringer. He has devoured countless worlds, killed trillions of lives, and is among the most powerful beings in existence.
    Discord: But what about me?! I'm the Spir-
    Galvatron: You are nothing but a clown!
    [Discord flinched.]
    Galvatron: Do you hear me? You are nothing but a sad, pathetic, clown. A bad joke.
    Discord: B- but I-
    Galvatron: You know nothing of chaos. And do you know why? Because you are not chaos. You saw my memories. That was true chaos. Your little tricks? Pathetic.
    [Discord felt something within himself begin to change, as if his whole purpose in life had been suddenly extinguished. He did not realize it, but the color of his body changed from its usual bright pigments- to a dull grey.]
    Galvatron: And now, you will die for wasting my time.
  • Working Together has Valmont accusing Rika of being arrogant and deceitful as Shendu.
    Valmont: I can give out some examples of you being arrogant as Shendu, but they are too much so I'll give out an example what makes you deceitful as Shendu. You said you cared for Renamon, but what about the part where you said you don't need her? If you don't call that deceitful, I don't know what is. Oh, and you're traitorous as him. You betrayed the trust of your own mother and grandmother by not telling them about your Digimon adventures just like how Shendu has betrayed his demonic brothers and sisters by ignoring their release when he's first released from his stone imprisonment. Before you know it, you betrayed Renamon by saying you didn't need her. Well, that's just kind of like how he did betrayed me when I blindly trusted him too much of giving me the treasure of Qin Shi Huang in exchange for all 12 talismans to restore him to his true form. What else is that you have betrayed Takato and Henry by saying you hate Digimon. Shendu once again betrayed his brothers and sisters by lying to them that he can get them all out of his portal when only one being can enter it to the real world. So, tell me, Rika, does that make you arrogant and deceitful as Shendu?
  • In Horseshoes and Hand Grenades, Yuki gives this to Yukina as to how Yukina falsely accuses of Yuki being Gentaro's death, along with Yukina wanting to be with Gentaro more than anyone else.
    Yuki: "Gen-chan died protecting people from a tyrant who treated his fellow classmates and teachers like puppets, putting them into a slumber because he could do so! Gen-chan died protecting his friends from a heartless monster, and I'm not the cause of his death! If you knew so much about my best friend, maybe you should learn how to be nice to your fellow students before you start making stupid accusations! I won't let you insult my friendship with Gen-chan nor will I let you get away with soiling his good name, Yukina! You will never gain his hand in friendship the way you're acting!"
  • In My Little Castlevania, villain Dirt Nap throws a Then Let Me Be Evil speech to Twilight Sparkle as justification for allying himself with Dracula. Twilight Sparkle's retort is one of these, which undercuts/deconstructs his motiviation to the point where even the Fire Demon bound to Dirt Nap's soul starts laughing at how pathetic he is.
    Dirt Nap: "Isn't that the eternal question? Why? Why does anything happen, really? Why am I doing all this, you ask? Well, why did ponies always treat me like a monster? Why did ponies mistreat me? Why was I given... Why was I given this?! All because I have a talent nopony else has the stomach for, I am treated differently. I am treated as less. Tell me, Celestia's prized student, why your precious friendship was never mine to have!"
    Twilight Sparkle: "Because you were never a good pony."
    Dirt Nap: "What?!"
    Twilight Sparkle: "You never stopped to say hello, you never went out of your way to help anypony. You never acted friendly towards anypony. You did your job, but you never helped yourself, and you never helped anypony else in any way. That's why you don't have friends, Dirt Nap."
  • In the Star Wars / Buffy the Vampire Slayer fic "Force of a Slayer", Buffy pointedly and carefully notes to Yoda and Ben Kenobi each and every single way in which the Jedi Council not only did nothing to stop Anakin Skywalker's descent into darkness, but actively encouraged it, starting with "that ridiculous rule about no attachments" because, in her words, "a single person can be strong, but a single person backed up by their friends and family is so much stronger."
  • The story A Man of Iron has this exchange between Antony Stark and his cousin Eddard Stark, regarding Tony's earlier comments to Catelyn about her treatment of Jon:
    Ned: You question things you don't understand and involve yourself with issues that are none of your concern. You have no right to come into my home and talk as you do.
    Tony: Someone heard about my little chat with Catelyn.
    Ned: Aye. She informed me. It is only because you are family and the King was there that you aren't in a cell right now. What gives you the right to talk to her like that?
    Tony: Nothing. I had no right to speak to her that way. I should never have said those words. You should have said them. You... you think you are so noble, taking him in and caring for him, but you're not. You made a mistake and let your lust get the best of you and took responsibility for that and I get it... I get it! That's all well and good! But, and this is the key here, it is not noble in the slightest to stand back and let others like your wife blame that boy for your sins. And just to be clear, they are your sins. Not Jon's. He didn't choose to be born. He didn't choose to come to Winterfell. He didn't choose your brother's almost-wife made be made yours, leaving you trapped with a woman you hardly knew before riding off the face the greatest dynasty the Seven Kingdoms ever knew. He didn't choose to be a reminder to Cat of you breaking your vows. You chose all that and you chose to wipe your hands of him while that woman went on her petty campaign to make him miserable to the point that he thought the only way he could find peace was to become a celibate solider freezing his balls off on an ice wall keeping watch for non-existent boogeymen! So don't stand there and act like you are better than me, cousin.
    Ned: I.. have made mistakes. I have not been able to give all that Jon deserved. I did the best that I could though and it was better than most. That is not an excuse though. To do some but not all does not absolve me of my failings. I understand that, better than you can imagine. But you of all people can't act self-righteous. You are an arrogant, petty, narcissistic man that cares nothing for honor or valor. You are a merchant of death who makes his coin on the suffering of others. How many lives were ended by your swords? How many innocents were killed by your arrows? You hide in your castle and build gaudy swords and look down upon the rest of us for believing in something while ignoring your own faults and using jests to hide your blood-soaked hands. You hold nothing sacred and believe in nothing greater than yourself. Well, I'd rather believe in something than be you.
  • Necessary To Win.
    • Defied when Kana meets with Ceylon during her farewell party a year ago. Ceylon, having alienated the entire team as a result of her leadership, wonders why Kana, who particularly disliked her, is not as hostile. Of course, Kana's answer has a similar effect.
    Kana: "Hello, Ceylon-sama. I'd just like to let you know that St. Gloriana won't be the same once you're gone."
    Ceylon: "Ikeda-san, I am not ignorant of your enmity toward me, nor am I blind to that of others. But I had thought that people like you would have made your feelings more obvious at the time of my departure."
    Kana: "The thought occurred to me, Ceylon. But, as you said, it's almost over; I'm here mainly for your successor, not to take a parting shot at you. You're not worth it."
    • When Teru confronts Saki after Saki's tank stalled in the river, she gives Saki a brutal one that reveals the cause of the rift between them..
    Teru: "History repeats itself, doesn't it? Again, you get into trouble, and again, someone has to bail you out of it. Who paid the price for your inability to save yourself this time?"
    Saki: "I...I don't understand, Onee-chan. You've been angry with me ever since... Mizuho went away."
    Teru: "Mizuho is DEAD, Saki! Dead because of YOU!"
    Saki: "I... I had no idea."
    Teru: "Of course you didn't! You want us to turn back the clock, back to the days when we pretended we were one happy family, Saki? How could we when one of us is gone and won't ever come back? When you act as though she was never part of our family to begin with?"
  • Misato gets a harsh one in Alpha and Omega Book 2: The Fallen from EDEN (Who's based off Misato from the original series) at knife-point.
    EDEN: "You truly are a despicable excuse for a version of me, you know that? You think that when you have the opportunity to murder a child and choose not to on a whim, it is somehow deserving of merit. I have one purpose: protect Shinji Ikari, and my coding does not state which Shinji Ikari. And as someone who both betrayed him and threatened his life, it is taking immense restraint on my part not to kill you right now. Every fibre of my being wants you dead so very badly."
    Misato: "Then go right ahead..."
    EDEN: "Don't think so highly of yourself, you're not worth the effort it would take to explain my actions to either Shinji-kun."
    Misato: "Who the hell are you to judge me? You're just a thing based on a version of me that never existed. I am Misato Katsuragi."
    EDEN: "No. You are not. Misato Katsuragi was a woman who ended the war with the Angels in the space of a year. She was a fighter who dispatched an entire JSSDF assault squad alone to protect the boy you betrayed. She was the person who later died taking a bullet for him. I do not know who you are, but do not speak of yourself in the same sentence as that person."

Danganronpa
  • In the Super Danganronpa 2 fanfic System Restore, Togami, who avoided being murdered at the party, gives this speech to the second murderer, in response to her trying to compare her actions with Togami's attempt to sacrifice his life to stop the first murder.
    Togami: “You – that – Komaeda manipulated Hanamura into killing him! Did you think I wanted Hanamura to do that? Did you think I ever wanted that to happen again? You weren’t manipulated. You killed Pekoyama by your own volition for fully selfish reasons. How dare you compare yourself to him! I trusted you. I thought you, of all people, could be reasonable. I can’t even comprehend you trying to justify your actions like this. You can’t. You won’t. You’ve done nothing but play into Monobear’s hands!”

Danny Phantom
  • In the Facing The Future Series, the heroes have given out these to the villains of said stories:
    • In Trial By Fire, Sam gave one to Undergrowth, saying he's no better than humanity as he doesn't care about any living thing on earth besides himself
    Undergrowth: "YOU (Sam)?! OF ALL THE CREATURES IN THIS WORLD?! YOU WOULD SIDE WITH THIS VILE SPECIES OVER THE WILL OF NATURE?!"
    Sam: "Oh don't get me wrong. I'm ALWAYS about nature. But you know, FIRE has a natural purpose too. It's nature's way of telling plants that every once in a while, they need to BACK OFF!! You know, I could go through a whole laundry list of things people do to this planet that I can't stand. And I could yell and scream and rant and rave until my lungs collapsed," she added, flitting around his head like a buzzing insect, "But for all the legitimate complaining we could do, did you ever stop to think that you're no bargain, either? All you want to do is take, take, take without caring about anything else that lives here. So you'll forgive me if I don't see any REAL difference between you and them. Besides, I can honestly say I'm a LOT closer to some of the people here than I could EVER be to YOU.Sorry pal…but if I have to honestly choose between you and them…then that's REALLY no choice at all."
    • In A Family Thing, Maddie finds out that Vlad tried to clone Danny, and blows up at him, and then delivered one to Vlad on how he doesn't love, just wants, and that's why he is became a pariah, and why can never be happy, nor she could ever fall in love with him.
    (Maddie learns about Vlad's cloning) Maddie: WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU!?
    Vlad:"Oh, Maddie, please don't say that. After all, you and Danny…the perfect family I could never have…Would you really condemn a man the foolish things he does…for love?"
    Maddie: "Oh, why don't you just stop already?! You don't 'love', Vlad! You've NEVER 'loved'! All you've ever done your entire life is WANT things!You know something Vlad, you can't look me in the eye and honestly tell me that your life has been all that terrible! It just wasn't ENOUGH for you! You could take away everything that ever meant anything to anyone, and the rest of the world besides, and it STILL wouldn't be enough for you! Never enough MONEY! Never enough ATTENTION! Never enough…EVERYTHING!I fell in love with a man who has always been able to think about MORE than just himself. And I don't care how powerful or how smart or how perfect you THINK you are…That man is never…ever…EVER…going to be you."
    • Vlad actually admits she's right, but brushes it off to carry out his Evil Plan.
    • In Laws of Attraction, after Danny delivered one to Walker about how he's the biggest hypocrite he ever met because he likes to make rules then breaks them, after Walker attacks Maddie .
    Walker: "Destruction of prison property is AGAINST THE RULES!"
    Danny: "Rules? RULES? What do YOU care about rules? You break your precious 'rules' whenever it's convenient. Why don't you just admit it? All rules are to you is an excuse to try and control everyone! YOU'RE THE BIGGEST HYPOCRITE I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE!"
    • Clockwork himself delivers one to Vlad when he comes to try and steal the power over time, insulting him about how he has sought power beyond his comprehension only for it to backfire on him. Vlad tries to attack him anyways, so Clockwork beats him down.
    Clockwork: "Do you really have any idea what you would even DO with my power?"
    Vlad: "Oh, I'm pretty sure I could think of something," Vlad replied confidently, "Being the undisputed ruler of all time has a nice ring to it. Along with the added bonus of being able to rewrite history any way I wish to make me ruler of both the Earth AND the Ghost Zone? I like the sound of THAT even more."
    Clockwork: "Still refusing to look at the big picture. Of course, how CAN you when you can't even see past your own nose?" Vortex…the Infi-Map…Pariah Dark. Time and again, you've tried to seize control of powers beyond your meager understanding and time and again, you've met with failure. And now you come into my domain with all the forethought of a teenager looking to steal a car for a joyride and brazenly declare that you will take MY power from ME? It would seem that Danny Fenton is quite correct when he calls you…what is that term again? A 'fruit loop'?"

Daria
  • In Chapter Three of the novel-length Daria Fan Fic Its All About Respect, Sandi Griffin delivers a blistering Colony Drop version of one of these to Daria, in front of a lunch-room crowd:
    Sandi: "I don't even know why I'm even wasting my time or theirs talking about or to you. You don't care about anything or anyone here — you wouldn't lose a moment's sleep if anyone or everyone else were wiped out, would you? To you, it really wouldn't matter if this were a class project, a video game or real life - even if all these people that you know were to get wiped out, would it? You don't care about people getting hurt or dying — I'm certain you didn't lose sleep over Tommy Sherman —"
    Daria: "You have no right to say that about me."
    Sandi: "I have every right to say it. You make fun of all of us. You think we're idiots, running around doing nothing of any real worth, just acting stupid and wasting time until we're dead while YOU cage yourself up in the dark in libraries and such, doing your living by reading constantly about the people who had the guts to do what you won't — which is go out and LIVE! You make fun of people like Kevin, and Brittany, and Charles. You make fun of things like the 'Lowdown', the Fashion Club and the football team, and people like Andrea — hell people like Mack and ME are afraid that someday, you'll notice them and start chopping away at them, hurting their feelings because you don't want to feel good yourself and don't want to know why! You treat us like idiots! Yes, we're not all as smart as you — and by the way, even though we ARE the idiots, we still outnumber you - and if we wanted, we could stampede over you. But do you know why we don't? Because we don't NOTICE you. You see — we're having fun. We're out doing things. We fight among ourselves, we do stupid things, we make others notice us, but above everything else we're living. We're alive - and whether we're in pain, or happy or getting screwed by the system, we're gonna keep going — but YOU! You're a black hole for happiness — you're world-class buzzkill! It's kind of like what Billy Thomas said on 'Ally McBeal' — 'Life is wasted on you, Daria! Life is wasted on you because you'll never enjoy it!' You're worse than a 'misery chick' — you're Sally Field in 'Soapdish!' No matter how many chances you get for happiness, you'll just screw them up because you are the Queen — of — MISERY!"
    • Jane gives Daria the OTHER barrel of the coach gun moments later with an equally harsh speech — and then, in Chapter Five, Daria herself gives one of these to Trent Lane:
      Trent: "Daria, I'm not trying to —"
      Daria: "You're not doing ANYTHING with, to or for me — there are better-looking ways to get an STD, and you've probably never heard of antibiotics. What, piss-poor lyrics make you dumb AND deaf? Let me make it simple, so even a non-guitar playing bag of skin, bones and smell like you can understand without you needing your wannabe psychic earth-mother floating around on bong smoke to translate: GET — AWAY — FROM — ME. GO — THE — HELL — AWAY. FUCK — OFF!" (pauses) "So you are capable of learning. I guess that empty look in your eyes is just for decoration — well, something about you should be physically appealing to someone someday. Study up on '2+ 2' — maybe you'll SOMEDAY be able to swing that job collecting tolls on the Jersey Turnpike. It's your kind of career, Trent: money, respect AND intellectual development. Maybe you'll pull down a Nobel Prize for your fundamental breakthroughs in counting loose change." (Trent steps away.) "Smart call, two-ply. Now practice playing the scales — it'll help you pass the time in the Public Aid Office while you wait for your appointment to get food stamps. Better yet, close your eyes while you're there and count all the fans you'll have when you make it — my God, are you done already?"
      Jesse: "Daria, c'mon —"
      Daria: "Are YOU trying to develop the concept of speech and evolve?" (shoves something down Jesse's pants) "Here's a twenty; go buy a haircut, a shirt and a vasectomy. That way — you'll be the perfect man."
  • In Chapter 16 of God Save The Esteem, appropriately titled Wedding Hell, Erin (Daria's cousin) unloads on all and sundry with a screamer at her own wedding:
    Erin: "Don't you even think about telling me off for making a scene, maybe if I did it more often I wouldn't be standing in the shit like this! As pathetic as Aunt Helen and her fucking coven are, at least they don't let someone box them into a fucking box for their own image! This wedding, this fucking wedding... this is all, all mirrors and smoke, you just want it to look good so you can pretend you wanted me to get married! And oh yes, Brian is fucking worthless but that never bothered you about Paul or Bruno or any other of the other troglodytes you keep dragging round the house every four months and forcing me to play stepdaughter to! And you wonder why I left home the damn instant I was laid off from work and had an excuse to move? Any wonder I stick with my troglodyte after watching you piss it up every third of the year? Don't you ever think it, Daddy! I haven't seen you in years and so what if you can't stand Mother you could work something out, but you don't! And Aunt Amy! Brilliant damn advice, brilliant, you sure know about horrible shitty relationships only you forgot to give me anything more practical, like what happens if my boss is such a creepy pushy bastard he follows me? YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I'VE BEEN HAVING SEX WITH MY BOSS ANDREW LANDON WE DID IT TWO MINUTES AGO! Well, that's me fired, I guess, and the wedding off too! Are we having FUN yet? Are we, Hellion Wheels? Is this punk enough for you? Maybe if I was doing this at 3 fucking AM and shoving it down your throat every damn time we met, that'd be punk, right? Christ, and your hellspawn is worse than you, you must have really worked at that! And don't think you're out of it, Daria, you made it clear you knew the marriage was failing and you snarked about it! Snarked about it? What use could you be to anyone? And a big thank you, I MEAN FUCK YOU, to all my friends who had to walk in and decided to snitch about me behind my back, well I'm sure glad I wasted years of my life with you and tried to act all sympathetic with your problems! A total waste! I hate every damn one of you."

The DCU
  • Original villain The Lord gets a pretty good one on Alexander Luthor in the Infinite Crisis fanfic Crisis Point during the Battle Of Metropolis, where the Lord has shown up to try and seize control of Alexander's plan (It Makes Sense in Context). While the scene actually has them going back and forth doing a "You Suck" speech to each other (and Alexander technically wins), the Lord's final response is considerably more epic.
    The Lord: (upon being told his power is nothing, especially considering Luthor's insane ally, Superboy-Prime, is both a Physical God and powered by the Lord's weakness, sunlight) And what YOU have is a mad child throwing a temper tantrum, the last vestiges of your control soon to be shaken off. He bleats about how he’s going to be Superman…shuh, what a joke. Superman is at least something to be noticed. Despite all his power, all I can do is laugh at him and his little crybaby antics. He’s pathetic. Just like you....No matter what the world, neither you nor your father can win. At least this world’s Lex Luthor has the common sense to apply his genius to self-gratification. When the wave of white consumed him, what did your father have to show for his efforts? A WEAK LITTLE NOTHING LIKE YOU. Fighting the good fight leads to a false heaven, switching sides the same psychasthenia that so many have found before. He would have been better off putting a toy poodle in that rocket for all the good you’ve done.
  • Heroic Example: In the fan-made DCU Shared Universe of JLA Watchtower, Gar Logan gets in a zinger of one against a resurrected Terra. The Gar player at the time had just finished reading Judas Contract and was mad as hell about what Terra put him through.
    Terra: Thought you mighta been one of the smart ones. Dick had something to prove. Kory was an airhead. Donna was all 'whatever ya say, Dick.' Tincan was stuck in moping mode. An' let's not go there with Raven. But you mighta been something.
    Beast Boy: I am! I ditched my lying, deceptive user of a power hungry lunatic, and found someone the complete opposite to share my life with! (laughs) And you were so pathetic, after getting out of your slavery in Hell with a sliver of honor, to fall right back to where you DIED. A worthless shell, used to bribe assassins with, among others no doubt, to con with, and scheme with. And now you tried to con yourself a life. With your ex no less. As a martyr to the Titans yourself, back from the dead honorably, when you really died crushing yourself by accident in the murderous rage you created from your insanity. You're pathetic Markov....See, that's your main trouble. You hate the truth Tara. You love lies. Lies are your best friend. You can shape lies. You can't shape truth. You can adjust lies by adding more lies. Adding a lie to a truth just makes it look worse. And you know what you'll end up dying with Tara? You and your lies. What a life that was. From nothing to something to nothing again. Hope you like this path, because on this planet, on the road you're on, you're screwed. Here lies Lying Manipulator. Died alone.
  • Chris Dee's Cat Tales is full of them, most notably one from Clayface impersonating Riddler to Bane in Gotham Rogues:
    Riddler: Am I supposed to be impressed?
    Bane: You should be afraid.
    Riddler: Of… whom? The coward who had to wear Batman down before taking him on? The soured underpowered coward that—even packing the old venom advantage—needed to break us all out of Arkham to tire Batman out before he could take on a witty-bitty crimefighter half his size? I taunt Batman, you pusillanimous poseur. I say "Come and get me, Big Man." And when he does, I want his best game. That’s how men measure swords, you posing poltroon. Why on earth do you imagine I’d be afraid of a… fraction of a man who had to hide behind my coat once already?
    Mr. Kittlemeier and I will be leaving now. Word has it you’re not a muscle-bound imbecile. If that’s true, you should be leaving too. Get out of Gotham and never come back. If you don’t… I will break you.

Death Note
  • In All You Need Is Love Light Yagami writes Naomi Misora a letter telling her just how much Raye Penber sucks at being an undercover F.B.I. agent:
    Light: Mr. Raye Penber is very annoying and doesn't know when to LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE. I realize it is his job to follow me around like a lost puppy but could he at least put a small amount of effort into not being so bloody noticeable? It's almost embarrassing having to look behind me every day and see him there standing oh so inconspicuously behind me with that newspaper shielding his pasty face. Yes, I can see him behind that newspaper the eyes in my face indicate that I am not blind. Your fiancé should note this fact next time he comes tapping along behind me, which should be any moment now I might add. Here are a few tips I wish to convey to your lover boy, please feel free to tell him for me as I think it's counterproductive for me to tell him. Besides it would just point out how inept he truly is: 1) when following someone try not to walk so loudly and when they stop walking you stop walking 2) when following someone do not literally follow them at every single moment of the day this includes lurking outside their room in the dead of night 3) do not wear the same clothes every day especially when on a high school campus not only are you noticeable you look completely ridiculous 4) when on a bus that is being high-jacked by a man with a gun do not show your victim your ID with your real name, if you have to use a pseudonym it's not unheard of 5) everyone can see you whispering in the back of the bus your voice is louder than you think 6) don't tell your victim what day your shift ends; you never know when they might have been paying attention. 7) when wearing the same clothes every day do not wear a blue trench coat, you want to be mistaken for a drug dealer every time you take a stroll? 8) when glaring at your victim and their date try not to look so completely bored, if you are going for the 'pedophilic-stalker' look be sure to complete it otherwise you look stupid 9) walk at a distance far enough away that your victim can't instantly grasp the fact that he is being stalked 10) try to look like you're doing something besides following your victim people might start to notice. I could go on but I think this should suffice, once again I leave with the statement THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC USELESS BEAU WHO CAN'T EVEN STALK HIS VICTIMS PROPERLY!!! Thank you for your time.
  • In A Cure for Love L does this indirectly when he asks Light's help to figure out what a "Loveable Rogue" of a criminal is going to do next and then gives Light his own psych file to read:
    "...any therapy would likely further enable his abilities to manipulate others. His intelligence and superficial charm, combined with his pathologic egocentricity and internalised morality, make him a dangerous individual deserving of clinical management and incarceration. He is driven by some, as yet, undefined goal. Kira's targeting of criminals gives a certain mask of sanity and 'goodness' in terms of his reasoning, but, due to his narcissism and deep-rooted antipathy, I doubt that they are exclusively or will remain his true aim of attack. At this point in time I would score him high for the Factor 1 scale of emotional psychopathy on the PCL-R, though his neurosis are not fully incapsulated within those criteria. He appears, at times, to show feelings of strong empathy, despite his apparent incapability to love." Light slammed the folder and the words shut. "What a load of utter rubbish. I don't care. Really. I couldn't give a flying fuck."
  • From Low Light there is Kira's ( L and Light's) greeting to Near:
    Good Morning Near,
    I hope that you are well this morning, and my impromptu greeting has not interrupted any important investigation work this man was pursuing. I would not wish to deprive you of your important information, but when I realised that you were attempting to find me I knew I it would be remiss of me not to greet you.
    As is my way, I shall prove to you my identity, as if this were not enough already. I believe you have an Ellickson Thomas and a Larry Conners working for you, yes? I also know that if you had been more thorough in your investigation you would have realised they were perhaps not quite as virtuous as you were led to believe. I shall say no more on that.
    I must say that taking on L's persona in front of the American President really was quite rude. L was a far more worthy opponent to my righteous justice than you could ever hope to achieve. I suggest you admit your real identity to him soon, as well as to those who are blindingly following you in the hope that you are L, or I will tell him who you are. I assure you the president will escape retribution for his transgression, I believe in second chances.
    Yours Faithfully,
    Kira.
  • In the AU Point Of Succession Light informs Matt how he deduced Matt wasn't a real cop when he was pretending to be one for L's investigation: 1) Since Light came from a police family he knows how real cops behave 2) because Matt didn't even turn around, let alone stop to help when Light's accomplice pretended to be injured like a civic-minded officer should 3) few police officers have bright pink hair...
  • In Story Of The Century, Original Character and First-Person Peripheral Narrator Erin, overcome with grief and anger and not the type to mince words, gives one of these to L at the end of the story that doubles as a “What the Hell, Hero?!” speech, when Light, Watari and Rem all die, and L is in the process of chasing Erin out so he can die alone, having written his own name in the Death Note to give himself immunity and to lure Light and Misa into a trap that exposed them as the two Kiras.
    "You make me sick. Both of you. You're just like him. You call yourself justice...but all I see here is a monster, a pathetic hypocritical psychopathic brat that makes up whatever sounds good at the time so you always have an excuse to do whatever you want. You made that abundantly clear when we were messing with Yotsuba; I just made the mistake of thinking you could move past that. This wasn't about saving anybody, this was just about satiating your fucking egos. Well lemme tella ya something right here and now you little punk-ass twerp: I don't care about your title as the world's greatest detective and I don't care that you've got your own goddamn screensaver. Because that's all those are, a title and a screensaver. Take those away and what have ya got left? Just a bum. A lucky bum. One of the stupidest most repulsive self-entitled over-glorified bums anyone in this whole wide world would ever have the misfortune of meeting, and that's all you'll ever be. Bastards, you and him! Fucking poor dumb bastards! God, if you'd have ended up outright joining forces with the guy we'd have been better off."
  • Xanatos has a troll giving repeated ones to Kira. He disses Light as both the second L and as Kiranote . Said troll is Matt.

Dragon Age
  • Isolde gets a pretty heavy one in Dragon Age The Crown Of Thorns when she makes the mistake of accusing the protagonist of being someone who has no problem with killing children. This is one of the very few things that can really rile the dwarven Wise Prince up. It didn't help that Isolde was constantly throwing blame around.
    How dare you imply that I have no qualms about killing a child? Your stubbornness and decision to keep Eamon out of the loop about Connor being a mage just killed everyone in this castle, almost killed Teagan and almost eradicated all life in Redcliffe! How many mothers worked here and are now dead? How many sons? How many daughters? How many children? How many men, women and children from the village died because of this? Massacre! This secret of yours caused massacre upon massacre and the fact I was here to stop the last one was pure coincidence! And then you come and lure Teagan here to share this fate! And all you can do is cast blame and mewl in this pathetic manner? How dare you try and weasel your way out of your responsibility for letting this happen?
    You weren't thinking of Connor's own wellbeing when you kept his magical aptitude a secret from Eamon! You weren't thinking about his well-being when you hired an apostate to tutor him! You weren't thinking of his wellbeing when you repeatedly lied to your husband's face about what was the most massive thing in your son's life! All that time, you only saw what you single-mindedly considered was for the best. You convinced yourself it was for the best just so you could not realize how utterly selfish you were! You were never thinking of Connor's wellbeing, only about your own!
    You handed your son over to the first blood mage that someone happened to stumble upon! And even though any sort of logic likely screamed inside of you the words "this is utterly stupid", you did it anyway! Because you would not 'lose your son to magic"! You say you love your child, but all you do is do what makes you feel better, even at his own expense! Instead of seeing him as your son, you see him as a means to feel better about yourself! All he is to you is an object that improves your mood!
    Oh, I know you love your son, and that only makes it worse, because it means your selfishness overpowered that love. And that is one of the worst kinds of betrayal. You betrayed your own child and now he has become an abomination that killed hundreds.

Dragon Ball
  • In the fanfic Reign, Frieza gives a very scathing one to Vegeta.
    Frieza: "Oh how I loathe people like you Vegeta. [...] A filthy traitor who thinks he has some sort of right to overthrow me. And you don't even have the common courtesy to die. That Super Saiyan ape might have vexed me, but you...you just insult me. [...] And you... Are an arrogant back-stabbing coward, who is incapable of acknowledging his own failures. You were sniveling to that Goku idiot back on Namek, saying that everything evil you ever did was MY fault. Well tell me Vegeta, do you know how many worlds and civilizations you've destroyed without my order? Did I tell you to destroy Arlia? Did I order you to commit genocide on the colonies of Ethrom? Was I the one who ordered you to decapitate the king of Verbu because he insulted your height? No, you proved yourself quite capable of cruelty without my input. [...] You see, Vegeta, for all the cruelty and death I or my family may cause, we have our reasons. Usually it's just business, trying to expand our empire or give territory to those loyal races who need it. Occasionally I'll mix business with pleasure such as right now. But the thing is, my dear boy, that's where the difference lies. I have motives behind what I do, while you...well you are just a thug like the rest of your species,despite this infernal notion of 'Saiyan pride' you constantly scream about. A violent and petty little thug who thinks that being a 'prince' makes him something special. In actuality, you were just a grunt your whole life, lower than even Zarbon and Dodoria before you started getting lucky. The universe would be much better off without you to stain it."

Family Guy
  • Payback from a Pipe: Following Quagmire's brutal beating of Brian in Quagmire's Dad Stewie takes Quagmire, beats him up some and gives Glenn a RYSS in response to the one he gave Brian.
    "You, Glenn, are the worst type of person on this planet... You are nothing but a hypocrite... You accuse Brian of lusting after Lois, but you fucking got caught spying on her in the can... you tried to hook up with her after Peter lost his memory, you used my pacifier as a sex toy, you're a convicted sex offender, pedophile, AND necrophiliac... and you accuse Brian of being a tool... but look at you! Brian at least TRIES to better himself with college and careers, but you... we RARELY see you working and I wouldn't be surprised if you just got into the pilot business just so you could fuck every stewardess into the mile-high club! So what if Brian craps on the fat guy's lawn, HE'S A FUCKING DOG! DOGS DO THAT YOU IMBECILE! You've fuckin' hit on Meg, Connie... you destroyed Cleveland's marriage and fucked Loretta's corpse... you treat women as if they're nothing more than objects... you act like you're some well-read snob, but in reality the closest thing to a novel you've probably ever read is the Private Parts book! But you know what... I could possibly, POSSIBLY forgive you for all this... but for one small fact. You're a shithead... a hypocritical, perverted, sexist, violent little shithead!"

Final Fantasy
  • The villain Final Fantasy IX fic Go Not Gently deliver one to an adult Eiko Carol as she tries to defend Zidane's heroism.
    Tango/ Vivi: What we did together, was it so courageous? Zidane walked among us as an angel of death, down in the dark places, his heart a crippled worm of blackness worse than Kuja's. Worse than Garland. He danced the dance of death and everything he touched turned to dust, linden-bloom. We walked in Alexandria and it exploded. We walked in Lindblum and it exploded. We walked in Burmecia and it exploded. We walked in Cleyra and it exploded. We walked in Terra, the dead planet, and it died. Do you truly know the things Zidane did, down, down, in the dark, with his hands and feet and mouth?
    Eiko: Zidane was a hero. Shut up! Shut up!
    Tango/ Vivi: Zidane was a liar!

Fire Emblem Awakening
  • Chrom tears Frederick a new one in Pretender when he finds out the latter has been dating Robin behind his back, especially when Frederick told Chrom that he wanted to stay friends with Robin.
    Chrom: You spent the last few years sidling up to him, all the while lying to me about it being a friendship based on your guilty conscience. You once said I was 'irresponsible' for thinking that you two were in a relationship. You've done well, Fredericson, pulling the wool over my eyes, had me worried for you both and made it look like I was in the wrong for making assumptions. Ha! Was I crude to use the word 'design'? I think not! We have not one great strategist in this castle, but two. In that regard mayhap you are perfect for him - I will never compare when it comes to cunning

Frozen
  • One happens in Frozen Hearts, when Harald loses a poll conducted among his brothers about whether to help Hans; Harald's side votes "no" and Heins' side votes "yes".
    Harald: If our kingdom falls… it will be due to all of you. Remember that.
    Heins: No, if our kingdom falls, it will be due to you, Harald! And I pray such misfortunes as have befallen Hans never befall me, because I certainly can't depend on you to come to my aid!

Futurama
  • In "A Second Chance" has Leela dream about meeting a clone of hers. Said clone then lays into her about her relationship with Fry.
    "Struck a raw nerve, did I?" the copy continued. "Do you honestly believe that you actually care about him? From the way you treated him, I'm surprised that he stayed close to as long as he did; although I have no idea what he saw in you in the first place. You are a bitter, violent, and often inconsiderate woman who has built emotional walls around herself and blocks people who actually care about her from getting too close while letting complete lowlifes through. Honestly, I fail to see the attraction."

Girls und Panzer
  • In “''Boys Do Tankary?”, Vincent gives one to Maho regarding her treatment of her sister Miho. Then again, this disregards Maho’s canonical love for Miho and desire for her to find her own way of tankery.
    Vincent: My poor Maho, I have grown tired of your antics. I'm going to put you on the defensive right now."
    Maho: "Wha..?"
    Vincent: "Is it true that you have failed to see what is most important to you?”
    Maho: "No."
    Vincent: "Then why have you pushed your sister so far away? You know nothing about true family."
    Vincent: (indicating his platoon and the Oarai girls) "They have accepted me. Much more than you and your school. All you want is perfection on the field and it's because you pushed your sister away because she was doing what she felt was right, is the reason you lost. It's that reason that you will keep loosing."
  • In Chapter 3 of Boys Und Sensha-do, Shiho gets one from her fellow members of the Sensha-dō Federation and the Sentōki-dō Aces Authority board.
    Lady Grey: Nishizumi-sama, the defeat of your school has led to an expansion of the sport. Surely this is a good thing?
    Shiho: Grey-sama, the participation of such schools as Ion Dumitru, Népe Boarding School, and Mt. Zion in this Federation may be beneficial, but that does not take away from the fact that tradition is being trampled upon—
    Sakai: Nishizumi-sama, I suggest you reconsider your words. I have been searching for years as to whom you remind me of, Nishizumi... and I believe, at last, that I have figured it out. You, Nishizumi, are much like my superiors in the war. Clinging to tradition and seniority, believing themselves to be the ideal of our world, and all the while leading our nation to its own destruction.
    Shiho: HOW DARE YOU!
    Sakai How dare I? I dare speak the truth. What right does your school have to being the champions? What woman in their right mind plans to disown their own daughter for winning?
    Woman: You, you plan on disowning Miho, Nishizumi-san?
    Lady Grey: Whom is more honorable, the daughter or the mother?
    • Akio gives a brief one to Maho in Chapter 7, unaware that all of Maho's efforts have been to allow Miho to live freely.
    Akio: If I had a sister, I’d be there for her all the time. Not just when she’s in the hospital.
    • Soon afterward, Akio gives a longer one to Shiho when she comes to visit Miho in the hospital for the sole purpose of disowning her.
    Akio: The only one here that’s a disgrace here is you, Nishizumi. Victory or nothing? If that was true, wouldn’t Maho’s defeat have been enough for you to give her a chance? Miho is twice the tank commander you ever were Shiho.”
    Shiho: I will not be spoken to in such a fashion!
    Akio: It’s the only fashion you deserve to be spoken to. Sensha-do isn’t just about victory. It’s about camaraderie and friendship. Miho faced your team outnumbered more than two to one and she won. With her leadership a team made up of inferior tanks bested yours with their King Tigers, Maus, and Panthers. She beat Maho herself in a singular duel with a Panzer IV. Why are you punishing her for doing well?
    Shiho: That is not what Sensha-do is about, little boy!
    Akio: GET OUT! If you’re not claiming her as your daughter you have no right to be here.
  • In the fic, Steel Carnage, Asuka gives one to Momo regarding her poor aiming skills, and to the rest of the team for keeping her around.
    Asuka: "Really? REALLY?! What the FUCK do you call that?! Why am I NOT surprised the cyclops aims like she's looking the wrong fucking way."
    Momo: "What the hell are you talking about!"
    Asuka: "You had one, two, three shots to make on me. Missing the first shot was understandable. But you missed when the Raptor was sat on its ass, just begging for someone to shoot it in its face. That miss cost Mallard team their continued participation in the match. Then later in the match you missed again when you were the only one who was available to stop me from knocking out Rabbit team too. Do blend your meals so you don't choke?"
    Saori: "Hey! Leave Momo-chan alone. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it!"
    Asuka: "Really? Didn't you just say if there's something bothering you to speak about it? Stay out of this, you didn't perform like shit, so this has nothing to do with you."
    Saori: "It has everything to do with us! Momo-chan is a member of our team! You're bullying her!"
    Asuka: "You're letting her stagnate and rot! That's ten times worse. Do you trust her to watch your back in a Senshado match?" (only half the team says yes) "Yeah, doesn't look so great now does it!? You're flat out lying to her."
    Miho: "We're not! Momo is a hard working teammate, who never gave up or stopped acting in our best interest. She helped us when the school was about to close and fought with us in the finals. I have faith in her."
    Isobe: "Yeah! She was with us when we were stuck in that hangar against Pravda and fought with us to get out of that jam! Where were you when the school was in danger?"
    Asuka: "... while you were fixing volleyball posters to your tank, I was part of a deal between Engineering and Mitsubishi Heavy Industries. They supplied enough funds to keep the school afloat for three more months and I became one of their test pilots. And now, because of that deal, I'm going to be representing MHI in Steel Carnage."
    Yukari: "There's no reason to consider yourself representing anyone other than the school. Steel Carnage is just a rules test."
    Asuka: "You think so? Mitsubishi paid for the Raptor modifications, not the academy. The Student Council records should confirm this. They want the Raptor to be in Steel Carnage, but you can be sure that they're not putting their machine out there to be embarassed."
    Saori: "BAH! This is completely off topic! You're trying to distract us with strange and scary sounding things while you make fun of Momo-chan!"
    Asuka: "You're right, I am going off topic. Captain Nishizumi, do you have faith in her?"
    Miho: "Yes I do."
    Asuka: "Then tell me honestly, was she on the Hetzer's gun against Black Forest? (silence) That will be a no then. Some faith you have in her. I'm leaving. Clean up your act, or I'll find a team that has."
  • In the fic Ten Little Soldiers, Miho does this when confronting the murderer, Sodoko, who lured the rest of the cast there and killed them while following a poem.
    Miho:"You're a monster, you killed eight people, do you realize your crime? You will go to jail for that, I know !"
    Sodoko: "In prison ? Ah ah ah. Didn't you read the rhyme ? I'll just shoot myself in the head and it will be completed."
    Miho:"I warn you, be careful."
    Sodoko:"What are you gonna do exactly ? Hit me? I have a gun. I can shoot you at any time. But I'll keep my ammo for me. Miho, it's too late for you. You took the others for granted. And again, you didn't try to stop me. So I could finish my job."
    Miho: "What do you do now ?"
    Sodoko: "Well, it must seem obvious to you. You will die, and soon after I will shoot myself in order to stick to my poem. You see, I eavesdropped. I heard everything. The opinions of others have helped me well. Moreover, if I had this attitude, it was almost to force you to think. But you were so stupid that I gained ground."
    Miho: "Don't say that... this is madness... MADNESS ! You were a member of the Public Morals Committee, I just can't believe that you've committed a so inhuman act... May your body rot in hell when you'll commit suicide, you just took my friends from me, you just maimed a team of its commander, you broke another, it seems that you don't realize what you're doing !"
    Sodoko: "Even if I die, Pazomi and Gomoyo will find someone else. Besides, I had turned to them at a time. But I won't tell anything to you."
    Miho: "Midoriko, you really are the worst junk I could find until now, you who respected so much the moral values, you finally have came into conflict with your own original intentions !"

Harry Potter
  • Harry Potter and the Rejected Path has Narcissa Black give one to Hermione that can basically be summed up as, "You are a stupid little girl who is too busy being outraged and self-righteous at our backward outdated ways to bother realize that there are very good reasons for what we do." (Including the common fanon that freeing all the House Elves would result in species wide genocide).
  • In Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, Harry delivers a cold and dismissive one to Professor McGonagall:
    "There's a picture in your head of a stern disciplinarian and you do whatever that picture would do, whether or not it makes any sense. A stern disciplinarian would order the students back to their rooms, even if there was a troll roaming the hallways. A stern disciplinarian would order students not to leave the Hall on pain of expulsion. And the little picture of Professor McGonagall that you have in your head can't learn from experience or change herself, so there isn't any point to this conversation."
  • In Harry Potter and the Trip to the Past Harry gave a blistering one to Dumbledore's portrait for not trusting Snape with information about the Elder Wand or Harry's probable survival, exploiting his guilt from giving Voldemort the first part of the prophecy and not appreciating his contributions to the war effort. He also gave one to his parents' portrait for his father's snobbish attitude as a boy and his mother's abandonment of her friendship with Snape.
  • Harry gives a blistering one regarding Lupin to Tonks in Faery Heroes.
    Harry: "My third year, I thought I had finally found someone I could look up to. It was our Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, one Remus J. Lupin. Unlike Quirrel or Lockheart, he actually knew what he was doing; unlike the other professors, he made it clear to us why we were learning the spells and strategies against dark creatures that he taught us. When the Dementors constantly harassed me, lured in by the darkness of my childhood, I went to him and asked him how I could protect myself from them, and to my surprise, he agreed to teach me how to cast a Patronus. He even told me a few stories about my father, just little things he remembered about a Gryffindor he had last seen over a decade ago. Then came the confrontation with Sirius, and I found out that no, he wasn't just someone who knew my dad in passing. He wasn't someone willing to help a random kid who came to him with a serious problem out of the goodness of his heart. He was one of my dad's best friends! With my parents dead, Pettigrew believed to be dead, and Sirius in Azkaban, he was the only one left! Even if he wasn't my godfather, he had a responsibility to at least make sure I was happy and healthy, not stuck in an abusive home! If something happened to one of the Weasleys, you can be damn sure I'd check that their kid wasn't being beaten or treated like a slave! But no, he couldn't be bothered to get off his bloody arse even once!"
    Tonks: "I-I'm sure he had his reasons-"
    Harry: "Yes, his little because I'm a werewolf spiel. 'I can't check on the only legacy of my closest friends because I'm a werewolf, even though the curse can't be transmitted through letters or even visits when the moon's not full. I can't keep my only living friend company while he's hiding outside the country for a crime he didn't commit because I'm a werewolf, even though he's an animagus and the wolf couldn't care less about animals. I can't be loved by anyone because I'm a werewolf, even though the woman who wants me knows about my curse and doesn't care, not to mention that she's an Auror and therefore fully capable of stopping me should I ever lose control.' That about how it went Tonks? Lupin... he lets his lycanthropy define him. In his mind, he's not a man with a disease; he's a wolf in the guise of a man. The three nights a month when he's transformed are infinitely more important to him than the twenty-five that he's not, not to mention that he doesn't change at all during the day. His mind's made up, and no matter what facts or valid arguments you bring to him, he won't change it."

Haruhi Suzumiya
  • Mikuru delivers these to the entire rest of the SOS Brigade (and some other characters too) when drunk, in You Got HaruhiRolled!.

The Hunger Games

Jackie Chan Adventures
  • In Queen Of All Oni, Ikazuki gives one to Tohru, right before the big chi wizard gives a Shut Up, Hannibal!:
    "She was your comrade, and even now you seek to protect her. Humans with their senseless nobility. I could find it admirable if it weren't so pathetic," Ikazuki chuckled. Despite facing his fear and the nightmare that would soon descend on him, Tohru meet the green eyes.
    "Yet humans defeated you once, and it's a human body you need now," Tohru answered shortly. Ikazuki frowned and smacked him in the face with his sheathed sword.
    Paco: You are fighting Yackie. But you are his biggest fan!
    Jade: Heh, I suppose a towel boy like you wouldn't understand. I'm past looking up to Jackie; I'm looking to be better than him. In fact I always was, it's just age and a lack of opportunity didn't let me make that clear. Not like you, towel boy. I don't know why El Toro puts up with you trailing after him like some lost puppy. Guess he likes getting his ego stroked – it's not like you're good for anything else.

Legend of Zelda
  • Link gives one to Mido in Awesomeness Of The Ocarina. It is also played with, because it is more of a Badass Boast.
    "Why yes, young Mido. I wield [the Kokiri Sword] tightly so that I may smite any enemy that stands in my way. And most importantly is the symbol that these two items make when they are placed together. It is the symbol of your defeat by my hands once again. It proves that your status as my rival is but a joke delivered by a sad clown and is dismissed just as quickly. It tells the depressing story of how a young man, you, constantly tries to face the invincible giant, me, in a battle of wits, yet even though you keep trying and keep trying, your sheer suckatude always causes you to be crushed by my sheer awesomeness. I weep for you, young Mido. I weep for others like you, who feel as though you could possibly defeat awesome main characters such as myself. In fact, maybe I can consider myself as a Mary Sue compared to you. Your shittiness as a character, no… as a soul in this universe, is only useful for one thing, and that is to glorify my existence. Lastly, this sword and shield is a reminder that no matter what you accomplish in your life, compared to me, you will always and forever be shit."

Mai-HiME
  • In Perfection Is Overrated, Natsuki gives one to The Usurper when it is revealed that he has possessed the Obsidian Lord, and has conjured forth two more SUEs who are imitating Mai and the manga version of Haruka in order to accomplish his goal of remaking the world as he sees fit.
    Natsuki: "You're a fool… and a hypocrite. You talk of perfection when in fact the only power you yourself had is borrowed. As for your SUEs, all the ones who have come before have been defeated, and the ones that remain are mere copies of Mai and Suzushiro. Surely you've realized that your strength will never be a match for ours? But what you haven't realized is that no matter how much you may try to cheat, steal or copy our powers, you will never be our equals!"
    • Ishigami does this to Yukariko when she objects to his scheme.
    Yukariko: You mean I should betray everyone else?
    Ishigami: You already have, Yukariko. You did the moment you decided to frame Yuuki-kun for attacking you. It may have failed and you may have avoided responsibility, but you showed that you wished to survive the Carnival alone with me rather than trust your fate to everyone else. Your God knows this; that's why He is not responding to your prayers intended to ease your conscience. And once it comes out what you've done, the rest of the Himes will never trust you again. The die is cast, as they say; you will make it to the end of the Carnival with me or you will never make it at all.

Mass Effect
  • In the Uplifted series, Hanala to a group of Quarians on the Citadel for not rejoining the fleet. The crowd's reaction is justifiable however, given that the previous attempts by the Migrant Fleet were failed offensives. They understandably want nothing to do with whatever scheme the fleet has come up with.
    • Hanala's Mother's response to Joachim Hoch's berating of their responsibility to their child.
    Galina'Jarva: "The difference is that Hanala is Saleb's family. You are not. You will never be our family even if she marries you; and you will certainly never understand the culture of quarian child rearing. Saleb is the first and foremost concern of hers now. If you had a family you might have understand the concept of being selfless. But low and behold, you're quite possibly the most selfish creature I have ever seen. You staked your pride and honour before the lives of others and you got everyone killed for it. You killed my son, you killed my daughter-in-law, and you ruined Hanala forever. Your choices have left you with no real attachments, and you have the GALL to stand there and say you know better than I!"

  • Weightless: Mierin showed Garrus that he was not as good as he thought:
    Mierin: "I've been watching you for months. I thought about killing you. It would have been easy. You always pick the same piece of shit motels to sleep in, and your check in times are as regular as trigonometry. You eat at the same times every day, drink the same things. You may have had dozens of names, but your identity is always exactly the same because it's yours. No change in your posture, no difference in your step. You drink tea constantly, a dead give away. You have no concept of how to transcend your own personality undercover. You know the mechanics, but not the art."
    "-And nothing looks more suspicious than consistently checking in the early morning and out at late evening. And never pay with a card you fool, even if the accounts are opened and closed in the same week. What were you thinking? You're getting it right by changing locations as often as possible, but you need to break up your habits. Painfully predictable. Not to mention that any additional layer of security over the place you choose to fade into only assists in keeping you unseen. Hiding only amongst the impoverished and addicted is a beginner's mistake. You need to be able to disappear anywhere, and at any time."
    "You only see me right now because I want you to see me. You're fighting a war; a war in which you're outnumbered one thousand to one. The only way, the only chance you have of making an impact, is to become invisible in plain sight. Foolish engineer, you think you can do anything if you think hard enough about it, analyze it to death. No amount of thought alone will make you disappear in a crowd. It must be taught. It must be learned. I can see you're trained, but you are not a master."
    • Later, Thane delivered another one for Garrus to call him out for just wallowing in the past and ignoring Shepard's attempt to reach for him while she herself was having a lot of pressure.
    Garrus: "How long have you been spying on me?"
    Thane: "Spying? No. Not spying. Realizing"... "Long enough to doubt that you are doing anything here at all."..."Except stare into things better left behind."
    "When your last hours come, on their fiery wings. Inescapable. Inevitable. Your gun won't save you."..."When you finally see, after your whole life..."..."The time you wasted. And you stand there, looking, into that impossible light, the light that leaves you behind...that claims all that you love, all that you built..and where she goes, you cannot follow..."
    "You should have died that day...And yet you just keep breathing...Wasting."..."Every.Breath. Nothing. Nothing, will buy that time back. The time I watch you squander with every passing day."..."Do you hear me? Nothing. And you...you have everything...Everything...And yet, here with your thoughts and your memories of places long dead you waste the gifts of the living...No more...No more can I watch while you squander two miracles when there are some who would kill for only one."
    "Go to her."..."She waits."..."For you."

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
  • In the 8th part of the fanfic called "Heart of Azazel", Celestia gives a small one to her husband Dr. Bitch Spasms after Azazel returns:
    Celestia: I'm breaking up with you. I issue a divorce. Know why? Because you are just awful! I'm sick of watching you treat patients in a horrible manner, doing your chores, wearing this horrific dress, the list goes on. I'm tired of being called a plaything...ESPECIALLY BY A MORON LIKE YOU!!!!!
  • Rainbow Dash delivers one to Brownie in Rainbow in the Dark when she discovers that Brownie suffers from asthma.
    I’m not angry at you because of your asthma. What I really hate is that you lied to me instead of telling me the truth. You could have killed yourself because you were willing to risk your life rather than confessing that you shouldn’t go too far. I’ve never lied to you. Why couldn’t you do the same for me?
  • In the oneshot fanfiction, Adored, years after the failed invasion of Canterlot, Queen Chrysalis has grown indolent and inept in running her kingdom. However, she grows concerned when she no longer senses the love and adoration of her subjects. She goes to Princesses Celestia and Luna for council when her own advisors prove unhelpful. Their conversation, naturally, turns heated quickly and the majority of this section of the story turns into a whole reason you suck speech from both princesses. First is Celestia, who sums her up as an cruel, unfeeling and empty husk of a creature unable to even comprehend love, made so by the abuse at the hooves of her cruel father, King Thorax the Terrible. However, Luna, whilst shorter, certainly delivers a more cutting speech after Chrysalis attacks Celestia, enraging Luna, who then proceeds to fight and beat the crap out of the Changeling queen.
    Princess Luna: I'm immortal, do you understand that? I have done horrible things in my lifetime, your highness, and even Celestia has done things she has regretted. And I will have to live with all them forever. But you...you get to die. That's the worst part. You have tormented my kingdom and used and abused your own subjects to the point you're driving them from your lands. And soon you'll have a child, bully all the love and compassion out of her like your father did to you, and then you'll die, knowing everything will continue when you're gone. You'll be buried and be nothing more than a portrait in the palace, but at least you won't have to pay for all you've done. Well, you know what, Chrysalis? I wish you could go on living forever, as the unloved, unfeeling, empty monster you are in the living nightmare you and your forefathers have made on this planet! I hope you live forever, you bitch.
  • In "The Blueblood Conspiracy", Rarity goes crazy after being asked to help hook up Prince Blueblood and the Great and Powerful Trixie, and becomes obsessed with getting revenge on Blueblood for both his behavior at the Grand Galloping Gala in the episode "The Best Night Ever" and for trying to ruin her reputation in the prequel fic "Blueblood Returns". She crashes the wedding disguised as "the Phantom Mare" and tries to force Blueblood to apologize for both events. While Blueblood is quick to apologize for plotting against Rarity, he refuses to apologize for his behavior at the Gala, shooting back that Rarity should be ashamed and accusing her of being just another shallow suitor who only saw Blueblood as an idealized Prince Charming and trophy husband and wasn't interested at all in the person behind his royal facade.
  • Another example involving Prince Blueblood-in The Vinyl Scratch Tapes, DJ-P0n3 insults the Prince on the radio talk show that she and Octavia host. The thin-skinned prince retaliates by canceling several concerts by Octavia's ensemble. Incensed, DJ-P0n3 gets Blueblood on the phone, and then...
    DJ-P0n3: "I believe you are a bland, unintelligent, cowardly, prissy, stuck-up, laughable excuse for a stallion with a silver spoon shoved so, SO very far up his flank that you cannot possibly relate to anypony, anywhere, ever....My listeners like Octavia, Mr. Blueblood. They don’t like you. Nopony likes you. Heck, I have to wonder if Celestia even likes you. Or if your own mother does. Assuming, you know, you actually have a mother and didn’t just slither out of a pile of filth one day."
    • Vinyl gets one from Luna for making presumptions about what Celestia had to do to stop her and crapping all over her family in her presence, and Vinyl and all her friends get one from Trixie for the blatant hypocrisy and double standards that they employ that make Blueblood a villain for being a jerk, but make Vinyl a hero despite also being a jerk, engaging in a national level smear campaign against someone and bringing a dangerous criminal into the heart of Canterlot.
  • Scootaloo's Chaotic Family takes the cake for Blueblood sucks speeches. It helps that the speech is given by Discord himself, who is well and truly disgusted with the prince.
    Discord: You. Are. Scum. Garbage. Filth. Flea-ridden manure. The only thing you’ll ever be ‘top’ of is a Trash. Heap.
    Blueblood: I am a prince –
    Discord: You are nothing but an ITCH on Celestia’s DOUBLE-WIDE FLANK!!! And the only reason she hasn’t taken the half a second she’d need from her schedule to SCRATCH YOU is because the impropriety would last longer THAN THE ITCH ITSELF!!! Try to understand me, you incredible dolt. I’ve just given you a quarter of my power. Not all of it; that never ends well. But it’s still enough to rival Princess Celestia. Be a hero. Be a villain. Be SOMETHING!! Make a mark, any mark, on Equestria. Sow chaos, sow order, sow anything. You’re a prince; you have looks, wealth, connections, an improbably well-built body for a pony who lazes as much as you do, a special talent for narcissism, the spirit of the sun for a godmother grandmother, and now you have more raw magical power then any unicorn has ever had. You have so much potential. AND YOU’RE SQUANDERING IT IN FRONT OF A MIRROR!!! You have twenty four hours to make a mark on Equestria. That’s twenty three more hours than any other pony would need, so I’m sure a ‘prince’ like yourself can handle it.
  • Another Blueblood example (guy seems to attract these, doesn't he?) comes from Getting Back on Your Hooves. Twilight spends an entire day putting up with Blueblood's high and mighty act while cleaning up a Stink Bomb Spike let off in his room. She manages to put up with his insults...until he calls Rarity selfish for her expectation of him being a gentlestallion to her. Twilight lets him have it after that, pretty much letting out her entire day's worth of frustrations on him at once. Surprisingly it actually gets it through his thick head that he needs to be a better pony.
    Twilight: I don't care what you say about me, I can even forgive you for saying Pinkie, Rainbow, and Fluttershy ruined the Gala, because they actually kind of did! I may even be able to forgive you for insulting Applejack's cooking! But you do NOT call Rarity of all ponies selfish! She may be a little vain sometimes, and sometimes she lets her desires get the best of her, but she's the most generous and unselfish mare I know! She's the Element of Generosity for crying out loud! She worked herself ragged making me and my friends TWO sets of Gala Dresses, doing everything we asked even though she knew our designs were a big disaster! And you know what, Blueblood? She didn't even think about working on her dress until she had ours made! Is that selfish?! Does that surprise you? Of course it would surprise a self-serving, egotistical, narcissist like you! You know, I wasn't expecting you to be her prince charming, but I was expecting you to be a proper gentlestallion! That's ALL she wanted for you to do! She'd probably even have been happy if you'd just split everything 50/50! Instead you were a selfish, egocentric, self-absorbed royal PAIN who only cared about yourself and wanted your date to do absolutely everything for you! And now you have the nerve to call that poor mare selfish?! And don't you DARE use the fact you're royalty as an excuse! Because it's NOT! Princess Celestia is a lot more royal than you are and she gave me a place to stay in Ponyville just because she knew I'd be miserable without my friends! She lent me and my friends the castle ballroom for my birthday party without even being asked! She gave Rarity a room in the royal palace just because I told her Rarity needed somewhere to stay! Celestia set everything aside and came to Ponyville as fast as she could just because Spike wrote her a letter saying I was getting worked up at making a deadline! So no! Being royal most certainly isn't an excuse, Blueblood! And let me tell you something else! It's not an excuse to treat ANY of your subjects who look up to you like dirt the way you did Rarity! Celestia and Luna both go out of their way to befriend and have a good relationship with their subjects. Luna, who rules the night, set everything aside to try and reconnect with her subjects on Nightmare Night! And Celestia isn't too 'refined' that she can't take a little commoner food! If anything, Celestia tries to be LESS royal than she really is! If they're the highest royalty in the land, Blueblood, what does that say about how you behave when you're so much lower than they are?
  • At the finale of the Princess Gaia Arc of the Pony POV Series, Princess Luna lets Fluttershy and Fluttercruel have it for the whole mess the Fluttershy caused as Princess Gaia/Nightmare Whisper (which was Fluttercruel's fault in the first place), telling them, in detail, how they messed up in every possible way. This is such an epic What the Hell, Hero? that it's considered a fitting punishment for what Fluttershy did!
    • In the Dark World, the Nameless Passenger/ Nightmare Paradox dishes these out like candy to Discord. The fact that she gives a few about everyone but Twilight as well is the first clue she's not so heroic.
  • In Earth and Sky, when Twilight finally has enough of Apple Bloom's anger over breaking up with Pipsqueak and confronts her on it, Apple Bloom states that Twilight doesn't know anything about love, to which Twilight responds:
    "Maybe I don't have the deep understanding of romantic love that my sister in law does, but I've experienced it in other forms. Love between siblings, love between parent and child, love between friends. I think I've seen enough to draw some conclusions and be able to make some comparisons. All I see out of you now is jealousy and anger and selfishness. The last time I saw anything like that from you was on that terrible day when I inflicted that Want It Need It spell on you and your friends. You describe what attracted you to Pip in the most superficial terms. His looks, his charm, his teeth, his flanks. Here you are a full grown mare and you're still throwing a tantrum over a doll."
    • Cherry Jubilee gives a gentler one to Diamond Tiara in chapter 35 over Diamond's paranoia.
      "I'm hopin' yer just addled a bit in th' head from th' desert sun, 'cos if'n ya really think everypony's out t' git ya like that then yer a lot more pitiful than I thought."
    • In chapter 36, Apple Bloom gives one to Twilight over her possessiveness of Spike, pointing out that maybe she's not the only pony who is too clingy.
  • In Round Two, Princess Celestia confronts Queen Chrysalis in her hive, to get Chrysalis' terms of surrender. When Chrysalis tries to give a Breaking Speech, Celestia responds with one of these:
    Princess Celestia: Well, I am a bit older than you, I think, so let me educate you on some simple truths. You think that control equals power. True power is something far more wonderful. You were defeated by something that you don’t--and never will--understand: love. You feed upon it, but you don’t feel it, do you? That’s why you don’t understand how you were driven from MY home. The pure love that Shining Armor and Cadence shared was something so alien to you that even your own vampiric power couldn’t handle it. It was love that defeated you, Chrysalis.
    • She gives a second one after leaving Chrysalis battered and broken at her hooves after Chrysalis decided to fight her.
    Celestia: You beat me because Shining Armor’s love is that pure. That true. And you can never have that. I saw your eyes when our first battle began. You thought you were going to lose. You knew my power then, and you understand that power now. All of these subjects, and none of them care for you at all. You rule out of fear, Chrysalis. I rule out of love. I would never let my subjects come to harm. They love me, and the very least I can do is hope to love them half as much in return.
    Chrysalis: You won’t get out of here alive. Do you really think my minions won’t take you down? How can you think that they won’t stop you?
    Celestia: The real question is: how do you think that they will? Pray you don’t see me again, Chrysalis. (Leaves as the drones give her a very wide berth out of fear)
  • In Faith and Doubt, the fallen 6th Element, an abstract known as Doubt, turns Twilight into an alicorn. Luna, who realizes Doubt is the same voice that she heard when she was Nightmare Moon, calls him out and declares him a liar and a monster. With utter calmness Doubt rips her apart.
    Doubt: I gave you the power to rival your sister. I whispered in your ear about how she treated you as like a foal and did not let you take a larger part in governing Equestria; that is something you agreed with and something you still think now. [Cuts off Luna's retort] Do not deny it. I can read your thoughts as easily. I know that to be true... just as I know that Fluttershy here fears that I will hurt all of you. I assure you, little one, I could not hurt you if I wanted to. Nothing would bring me greater joy than to aid each and every one of you little ponies. But Nightmare Moon... everything comes back to that, doesn't it Luna? Everything you are now and everything you will ever be is tied to that horrible day when you took the mantle of the Mare in the Moon. Long you and your sister have convinced yourselves and your subjects that you were not in control... that some dark boogeyman had taken you over and twisted you into a weapon of evil and the real Luna was trapped inside. And you have now decided to cast me in that role. That... is a lie.
    Luna: No… it was you. It was all you! I was good before you…
    Doubt: Now who is the liar? All I gave you was the power. My words were a reflection of your own thoughts, nothing more. I can influence your mind as much as a foal can stop the rain from falling. Everything that happened was your fault, Luna; every dark word, every bitter thought was your own. The hatred for your sister came not from me. Nightmare Moon wasn’t a separate entity or some corruption; it was merely a name you used to deflect blame. Your own feelings of self worth drove you to attack your sister and try and destroy all of Equestria. It was then that I removed my protection from you and allowed the dear traitor you call sister to banish you.
    Luna: That… that isn’t true, I… I would never.
    Doubt: But you did, Luna. You did. Darkness is not evil… it is those that wield it that make it so. The sun can give life on a farm… or kill in the desert.
    • Really, this is Doubt's entire schtick.
  • The Powers Of Harmony: During their Wizard Duel, Trixie tries to invoke Sympathy for the Devil and justify herself by telling Twilight that ponies of noble birth (like her) have looked down on her for her entire life. Twilight isn't impressed.
    "So a few ponies making fun of you... gives you the right to be mean and nasty... to everypony else?! That's quite possibly the stupidest thing... I've ever heard. I never wanted special treatment... I wanted to be left alone with my studies... and my friends. You've no right to judge me... any more than anypony else... has the right to judge you! Maybe... instead of projecting your problems onto others... you should practice what you preach!"
  • Fluttershy delivers a stunning one in Sophistication And Betrayal, before throwing Cashmere outside onto the streets.
    Fluttershy: I have sat here and listened to you belittle my friends, insult their business, and doubt their resolve. And for what?! So you can get some sick thrill from it?! You want to know what Rarity's accomplished? I'll tell you. She faced down a dragon. She attacked a manticore. She banished an evil goddess and defeated the very embodiment of chaos and disharmony. She saved the life of a complete stranger. She committed herself to him because she cared about him. She risked life and limb, time and again, not because she had to, but because she wanted to! Because she has people and ponies who care about her, and she cares about them! She has done more in a few years than you will ever accomplish in your entire, selfish life! You are nothing compared to her!
  • A Stitch in Time has this exchange between Twilight and her jerkass of a blind date Algae Bloom, in reference to Algae's earlier remark about how her pet store job mostly consists of cleaning "slimy plants" out of the tanks. Twilight decides she's had enough after coming back from the bathroom and finding another drink already waiting for her.
    Twilight: Cyanobacteria.
    Algae Bloom: What? Is that some kind of nerd code word?
    Twilight: What you scoop out of the fish tanks. They aren’t plants, they’re cyanobacteria. You know, pond scum.
    Algae Bloom: Oh. So what? What’s the difference?
    Twilight: Proper classification is important, and those are two completely different things. Just because you don’t appreciate them doesn’t mean they aren’t good and important things. They provide something like twenty or thirty percent of Equestria’s oxygen, and they’re essential to the nitrogen cycle too. None of us would even exist without them.
    Algae Bloom: Well to me they’re just squicky, worthless ooze.
    Twilight: They survive almost anywhere, you know. From salty ocean water to rocky desert soil. You can try to kill them over and over again but they just always seem to bounce back. I just wanted you to know so that if some other mare in the future thinks it’s clever to tell you that you’re pond scum because you’ve treated her the way you’re treating me, it’s not as much of an insult as you think. If anything, it’s an insult to the cyanobacteria. Frankly, you aren’t worth cyanobacteria’s attention.
    Algae Bloom: It's a good thing you're a hot piece of flank, because I don't know how anypony could put up with how weird you are if you weren't. Seriously, you should just shut up and have a few more drinks.
    Twilight: Yes, I'm weird. I say and do crazy things sometimes. Things nopony understands, not even me. But some ponies, not horrible little stupid ones like you, mind, some ponies try. They don't know me, but they want to and they see that all those weird things are actually pretty wonderful. They look past how messed up I am. I thought I had to push one of them away because she doesn't see what I'm really like, but I was wrong.
    Algae Bloom: Where are you going now?
    Twilight: To get her back. Oh, and by the way? It's not as if it ever would have been fine, exactly, but you picked the worst possible time to try to get me liquored up so you could take me to bed. I happen to just have adopted a zero tolerance policy for mares who try to warp others' minds for their own pleasure, and if I ever hear from anypony that you've been getting fillies drunk and taking advantage of them they will never find your body.
    Algae Bloom: Wow, I didn't realize you were going to turn into such a psycho bitch over a drink.
    Twilight: Don't worry, it takes more than that to bring out my worst. A lot more. You don't even meet the detection threshold to register as something bad happening to me. If you ever do, you'll know. Briefly.
  • In "Circus Days", Spike rips one on the Mane Six for abandoning him YET AGAIN at the circus, recounting the times he's been absent in most episodes.
    Spike: YOU LIE! NONE OF YOU CARE ABOUT ME AT ALL AND JUST USE ME FOR LABOR! WHO WAS FORCED TO STAY HOME FROM THE CLOUDSDALE FLYING COMPETITION WHILE HAVING TO CLEAN UP THE ENTIRE LIBRARY FROM A MESS A CERTAIN UNICORN MADE?! WHO ALWAYS CLEANS UP EVERY PONY'S MESS!? IT'S ME! WHO WAS LEFT OUT OF GUMMY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!? WHO WAS LEFT ABANDONED AT THE GRAND GALLOPING GALA AND WOUND UP AT PONY JOE'S!? WHO NEARLY DROWNED AND FROZE TO DEATH AT THE END OF WINTER WRAP UP WHILE SOME CERTAIN PONIES WERE LAUGHING AT ME!? WHO IS ALWAYS CLEANING UP MESSES FROM ALL NIGHT STUDYING!? WHO WAS LEFT BEHIND TO TAKE A BOOK HOME WHEN I REALLY WANTED TO BE WITH YOU ALL!? ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! NOW I'VE BEEN TOLD I WAS FORGOTTEN BY ALL OF YOU! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! IF THIS IS HOW I WILL BE TREATED THEN IT'S OVER! I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ANY OF YOU!
  • At the end of What Have You Done, the Mane 5 (sans Twilight) get this from their own Elements of Harmony, stating that how they treated Twilight means they are no longer worthy as bearers. Unfortunately(?), only the part from Loyalty to Rainbow Dash is given in full, though the sequel may rectify that.

Naruto
  • In Medicinal Lullaby Naruto, tired of Sasuke's endless whiny bullshit, gives one of these to him when Sasuke comes to try and destroy Konoha.
    Naruto: Let's get one thing straight here Sasuke... I do not want to be here. I can think of a good twenty things I'd rather be doing right now, most of which involve lying down. So I'm going to make this quick, and then I'm going to forget you. I have no tolerance for you any more. [...] I feel like I'm obliged to ask you why you're doing this so suddenly...though I know the reason won't change the outcome of this battle.
    Sasuke: I'm about to destroy your village and yet you show almost no concern.
    Naruto: Why would I be concerned about you? You're still the same, impulsive child that left the village ten years ago. Apparently Orochimaru gave you power and nothing else. But that was all you wanted, wasn't it? How did that work out for you?
  • From War of the Biju: The Fourth Shinobi World War we have this tidbit from Danzo to Sasuke:
    Danzo: What do you want to know?
    Sasuke: Did Konoha's higher ups order Itachi to kill the Uchiha?! Answer me!
    Danzo: ...does it matter if we did or not? If I say no, you'd call me a liar and try to kill me like several times before. If I replied that we did, you'll get enraged and try to kill me anyway. You let your emotions rule you more than the Kyubi Jinchuriki.
  • In Legacy of the Rasengan Sakura steals Naruto's secret (personally created) justu scrolls. Naruto has this to say when he finds her before she can even decode one:
    Sakura: (silently gives them back)
    Naruto: (deep breath) "Sakura. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SCROLLS!?!? I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! I'd have expected this of Sasuke-teme, even BAKA-SENSEI! BUT YOU! What's the MATTER with you! Are you so desperate to learn everything I hold secret to resort to this? I thought you were my friend!"
    Sakura: "I'm sorry Naruto. I didn't think you'd—"
    Naruto: "THAT'S THE PROBLEM! YOU DIDN'T THINK! Too busy caught up in your FANTASIES chasing after a teme who doesn't barely give you the time of day, to stop to consider how OTHER PEOPLE will feel when you decide to find some way of IMPRESSING that teme! I'm glad you never went on a date with me! Now I realize that you never were the type of girl I'd have wanted to have a relationship with!"
  • In A Fathers Wrath, Orochimaru delivers one that is also What the Hell, Hero? to Jiraiya and Tsunade when they reunite and he yells at them as to why they didn't look after his son Naruto.
    Tsunade: "Enough, you're not his father."
    Orochimaru: "I beg to differ, that ridiculous genjutsu that was put on him is gone. He looks just like me as my blood runs through his veins. The title of father is mine."
    Tsunade: "You deserve the title of a lot of things, but father isn't one of-"
    Orochimaru: "How dare you? How dare you say that Naruto isn't my child and I am not his father! Do any of you two fools have any idea what I've been through this past twelve years? Not a single one of you know what I've had to done to get my son back! For twelve long years I was forced to watch those worthless maggots of that miserable village treat him like garbage! Insults, Rotten food, Rocks, even Kunai and Shuriken where hurled at him for no better reason than just because he's different than them! I had to watch him put up with being chased by mobs, denied entry into the academy if Sarutobi hadn't pulled strings to let him, and other stuff as well as he had no one that looked out for him. And where were either of you during that time! Out looking for a girl wearing a skirt? Gambling away your money? You two have done nothing for him! If he was Minato's son like they made everyone think he was would you look after him? He's been put through hell and I was forced to watch it happen as he had no friends except for a few people who actually stopped and looked at him for a change. He has grown into a fine young boy and he is finally being treated with the respect he deserves. I am his father and just like a Wolf I will protect my son from anything that will bring him harm. If you don't like it than fuck you, fuck both of you!"
  • In Naruto: Myoushuu no Fuuin, Ino tries to bully Kakashi into letting her look after Sakura after her parents die, asking her teacher Asuma and her father, Inoichi to help her. He responds as follows, before giving reasons why her attempts at intimidating him don't frighten him.
    Kakashi: "As her Jounin sensei, that means that I am now her next of kin until she refiles her paperwork in the Ninja Registration Office. And that means that if you or your father or your sensei try to take her from me, I can have you all arrested and court-martialed. Were you aware of that? And believe me, little girl, if anyone tries to take Sakura from me right now, there will be grave consequences indeed. Because what Sakura needs right now are the people who love her, and would do anything for her, and want what is best for her more than anything else. She doesn't need a selfish little girl trying to play at being a grownup, who wants to be seen taking care of her more than she wants to actually care for her. And Sakura doesn't need to be used as an excuse, and for you to attempt to use her grief as a ploy to get Sasuke's attention disgusts me.
  • In Son of The Serpent, the sequel to A Father's Wrath, Muta Daidouji, The Rival to Naruto delivers one to Itachi that at first looks like it's a "World of Cardboard" Speech and Humans Are Special but goes into detail about how Clans like The Uchiha who are given everything resent those who dare try to gain power and how they would never allow another to be over them. Refusing to accept another would gain strength and surpass them calling Clans and Kekkai Genkai wielders the real thieves. He then finishes it by telling Itachi that he should be more worried about what it would feel like to have his blade stabbed into his heart instead of Sasuke.
  • Ino gives one to Toka in Eroninja after the latter continuously objects to shows of affection.
    Ino: "You are miserable and insist everyone be equally as miserable as you. That is why you refuse to move out. You want to force us all to comply with your ideas of how we should conduct ourselves. I’m simply not going to play along.”
    Toka: “So instead you decide to act like a whore, and prostrate yourself before this man who barely values you since he’s taken so many lovers and all because you lack the self-esteem to stand on your own."
    Ino: “Look here lady! This is our house, not yours. And you better get used to the idea because sooner or later we’re not going to need to hide our feelings for Naruto. Eventually Kurenai will move out, or… When that happens you can be as unhappy as you want and pout in the corner, but we’re going to act like the family that we are. Oh, and just so you know. He values me plenty. Thanks to his love and encouragement, I went from an underfed and weak kunoichi to the head of my clan. It is because we are so secure in who we are, that I and his other lovers are willing to share him. If it’s a lifestyle that’s not for you then fine. But in my opinion, people like you, who protest so loudly how others live their lives do so simply out of jealousy or out of a strange belief that people finding happiness in a way other than how they believe it should be found somehow robs them of their own. If that’s the case, can you truly claim to be happy with your choices in the first place?”

Neon Genesis Evangelion
  • In Strategic Cyborg Evangelion, Asuka delivers a hard rebuttal to Kaworu's callous treatment of his job as combat pilot.
    Asuka: I saw the footage of your third battle and while you’re already so pathetic I can barely watch, you seem to suffer a sharp drop in competence whenever someone else is fighting alongside you! Why don’t you just get off your high horse already and think?! This is not a Goddamn game or contest! This is REAL LIFE; you screw up and people die! And while I couldn’t care less about you living or dying, you’re not the only one who will suffer because of your screwups! And don’t you DARE trying to make up some bullshit about 'dying for a worthy cause' or something like that! Dying for a cause? For whose cause?! It is sure as hell not theirs and if they die because you screwed up, that goes on YOUR conscience and yours alone! And if you truly expect someone to give their life for you without even having a say in it, you’re not the 'man' you always say you are but a selfish asshole no better than the likes of Breen!
    Kaworu: I am not... selfish...
    Asuka: Like hell you aren’t! You treat all this the way I would expect that idiot Aida to do! You’re not a soldier, not a warrior, nothing! The only thing that carried you this far is just sheer luck, nothing more! You refuse to see it but you’re NOT cut out for this! Are you going to keep up this charade until someone else like Ikari dies from YOUR fault?! Are you prepared to have that kind of blood on your hands?! If not, do us a favor and leave this job to the professionals, you pathetic excuse of a man!!!
  • In Gregg Landsman's Nobody Dies, the angel of terror Iruel attempts a Badass Boast at Asuka's expense, only for Asuka for fire it right back at him.
    Iruel: I am the Fear of God. I am the Angel of Terror. I will wipe this world clean of your organic sludge and remake it into my own!
    "Dollie": "And without ADAM, how does that work? You said it yourself. Godhood's lost to you. So now you're just delusional. You're code breaking down."

One Piece
  • In Marie D Suesse And The Mystery New Pirate Age, Madelyn gets two from her lover, Trafalgar Law, at two separate points
    • Chapter 23, when Law confronts Madelyn after learning that she was responsible for Luffy's execution and freeing his crew from her control.
    Trafalgar Law:"You thought I'd be happy with you stealing my crew, usurping my position and relegating me to the role of trophy consort?"
    Madelyn: "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. But Law... I really meant well. I wanted to help you achieve your dream. I just... I..."
    Trafalgar Law: "—murdered Straw-Hat Luffy. Your supposed brother. Yes I know what you did, Madelyn. You don't understand a man's dream, do you? It's not about winning. It's not even about finding One Piece. It's about the race to the finish line. There's no point in becoming the Pirate King if I win the title by default. And you... you took out my most respected rival in the most underhanded, lamest way imaginable! You disgust me."
    Madelyn: "Law, please don't say that! Law! You're everything to me! I... I... love you."
    Trafalgar Law: "No you don't. You're just a self-centered, monstrous, bitch who's obsessed with someone you only think you know." I should cut out your heart for what you've done. But that would be more mercy than you deserve.".
    • Chapter 31, when Madelyn, having been revealed as Mar's mother, says she regrets what she did, especially because she only intended for the Straw Hat pirates to be delayed.
    Trafalgar Law: "Mistakes? The world doesn't exist as a testing ground for your mistakes so you could learn how to be a halfway-decent human being, Madelyn! Straw-Hat Luffy! Bepo! Jean Bart! Penguin... (lists the rest of the Straw Hat and Heart Pirates)...they weren't 'mistakes'! Those were real lives, Madelyn. They were people! And because of your actions: They. Are. All. Dead!"

Pokémon
  • Reggie in Pokeumans delivers one to the MSN Gang, specifically with relation to their battle tactics. This is while he gives a single-handed beatdown to the three of them.
  • Deoxys from Latias Journey delivers one to Mewtwo. It's kind of long, but the recap is that Mewtwo's whole life of pain is caused by his own will to live.
    Just a bit of it: "Do you know why you have suffered so much in your life, Mewtwo? Why you were tortured in Giovanni's hands, why you suffered from depression and doubt about your existence, why your very genes betray you by decaying at an abnormal rate? The answer to that is the same as the answer to why you have suffered just like this in all your past lives: because you wanted to live so badly that you took on enough of my essence to doom yourself to a life of despair and never-ending pain. In some timelines you found peace and happiness, in others you did not. In still other timelines, the call of your instincts and the piece of me within you grew to the point where you not only accepted your fate, but chose to bring it to all, making yourself into my vessel, a projection of my will. That is why the other Mewtwo was on the ship, he and some of the others present realized how awful life in general is, even if on the individual level it can be pretty good for some, and resolved to end or control it in any way they saw fit, giving in fully to the piece of me within them. "You chase the fate that befalls you, Mewtwo. Destiny or prophecies, whatever they may be, be damned, YOU, in the very end, are the reason for your own pain."
  • Bianca and Brock in A New Chance Series both give one to Team Rocket, but for different reasons. Bianca gives one to Jessie, calling her out for calling Ash "twerp" even though he just risked his life and Pokemon to save Team Rocket's from Rico, and for being a criminal like him in general. But it's also done out of anger for not being able to rescue Larvitar's mother
    • Brock gives Jessie and James a composed, albeit more cutting one not only for being crooks, but incompetent ones, having never been able to catch Ash's Pikachu, at still trying to even though he's gotten much better than them. It's not said out of spite, but as a plea for them to give up being crooks, since he's also trying to make them see how painful their job can be, and he even says they are perfectly capable of doing good. But he warns them if they keep robbing Pokemon after this, than they truly are irredeemable. A couple of chapters later, and it's clear the realization stuck.
  • Cori Falls's work has Jessie, James, Meowth, Gary and their friends constantly delivering these to anyone who's wronged them in the slightest. Ash is usually on the receiving end, but James gives a rather epic one to Misty that drives her to tears and shames her into apologizing for her bad behavior.
  • In Sylvia The Sylveon, the titular character gives one to Dilandau after he sets a forest on fire. He responds by giving one back to her.

Power Rangers GPX
  • In Power Rangers GPX, Green Ranger Daisuke split from the team along with his sister. That didn't work out too well, and she let him know:
    Hitomi: Brother, Sean was right! You can't lead! Every time you try to lead, you panic and things just get worse! Not only that, you're a selfish jerk!
    Daisuke: Hitomi! What has gotten into you?
    Hitomi: I've seen what Sean was talking about! I wish I had never followed you!
    Daisuke: Hitomi, this is crazy talk! What's going on? Listen to me. You're coming with me!
    Hitomi: No, you listen to me! I'm tired of you always telling me what to do! I don't care about family loyalty anymore, I want to be like Maria and be my own, independent woman! For once, I am not going to do what you tell me! We should never have split with the others! We need them!
    Daisuke: We don't need them! If we need them, then our dignity as Japanese citizens is gone!
    Hitomi: DON'T BRING NATIONALISM INTO THIS! Nationalism has no place here! The Zordonians are a bigger threat than 'Japanese dignity' or whatever you're talking about!"
    Daisuke: Hitomi, what are you—
    Hitomi: I don't want to be part of something if I can't be with my friends! Sean, Kevin and Maria were my friends! And you took that away! I know this is going to sound wrong but… I HATE YOU! YOU'RE A SELFISH, SPOILED, JERK! Your selfishness nearly got us killed, could have killed Sean, Kevin and Maria, and possibly doomed the planet!

Saki
  • In Saki After Story, found here, Teru gets this from Sumire when she and the rest of the Shiraitodai team catch her viciously beating her younger sister, Saki, as well as Nodoka when she comes to help, badly enough to send both to the hospital, after losing the tournament to Saki.
    Sumire: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Do you realize what you’ve just done? [...] And it was your own sister you did this to!
    Sumire: That is utter bullshit! I’ve had enough of your lying! I have obtained proof from your mother and father that Saki is your sister! And what you just did to her and her friend is absolutely inexcusable!

The Smurfs
  • Empath: The Luckiest Smurf: Empath gives one to his fellow Smurfs in the novel, finishing it with the following:
    "YOU SMURFS ARE NOTHING BUT A GROUP OF BACKWARD BLUE-SKINNED SAVAGES...and what's worse, I happen to be born as one of you!"
    • Smurfette and Polaris Psyche both give Papa Smurf one in the alternate timeline of Papa Smurf marrying Smurfette after they both witness Papa Smurf slapping Sassette for daring to mention about Empath after he was disowned by Papa Smurf.

Star Trek
  • In the fanfic Written in the Stars, Fem!Kirk delivers a truly epic one to the Romulans. The fact that it's a cluster of F-Bombs shows just how pissed off she is.
    Romulan: Everything Nero did, he did for the glory of the Romulan Empire.
    Kirk: No. He didn't. He did what he did because he lost his wife and unborn child – and he blamed the wrong people for that loss. In case you didn't know, Nero came from exactly 129 years into the future, which explains his ship and its technology. And if the Vulcans on this world don't enact their revenge, Romulus will be destroyed anyway. Because in exactly 129 years from now, a nearby star – that little bright flickering thing in the sky above your Empire – will go supernova. It'll destroy Romulus and its Empire with it, but in reality you would have destroyed yourselves.
    Romulan: Explain.
    Kirk: You would have destroyed yourselves because the only one willing to help you was a half-Human, half-Vulcan Ambassador who was too late to inject the Red Matter into the supernova. It stopped it, sure, but then he was chased through the black hole he created by Nero. But do you want to know why he was the only one willing to help you? Because you lot were a bunch of fucking fascist bastards who will spend the next century trying to destroy the Federation – the only ones who can save you! Not just that, but saying things like you just said doesn't make a lot of friends; that you were fucking proud of Nero's actions for destroying Vulcan and ending billions of lives! It's no wonder we didn't want to help you when you fucking assholes needed it! No wait, hold on...you felt you didn't need help because you believed there was nothing fucking wrong with that star. You thought it was a lie created by us in order to mask our supposed “dishonourable intentions”. Your inability to comprehend that we would want to help you, fucking blinded you all to the fact that the star was dying, and unless you get rid of that fucking single-mind of yours, you're going to end up like Vulcan sooner or later. Sooner if the Vulcans detonate the Red Matter, or later if the star dies and kills you all. So I suggest you all shut the fuck up, go and examine those so-called fucking heroes and the fucking star...and think very, very fucking hard about your actions for the next fucking century. I wish I could say this with hope and its true meaning; live long and prosper.
    • She later gives one to a group of Admirals when she discovers that they were keeping a bunch of colonists under mind control all in the name of a science experiment:
    Kirk: Starfleet used to stand for something, and I see now that you need to be reminded of it; we explore, but we also protect. What you were doing to those people was wrong, and you know it. So instead of performing sick and twisted experiments on people, how about trying to help them?

Steven Universe
  • The Big Bad Zoisite delivers this to the Crystal Gems in Chapter 11 of Magna Clades.
    "Poor, unfortunate souls..." Zoisite spoke suavely to them after his big reveal. "...you have no one to help you but yourselves. Do you really think it matters in the end who I can take down?" He let out an impish chuckle. "Of course not. Because no matter what, you're going to protect those dirty, wretched humans who haven't any brains to distinguish what is pure and sacred and what isn't. A human's life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying..."

    He leaned over to the 'half-breed' boy Steven and whispered, no, almost mouthed with a rather sinister inflection, "...nothing."

Superjail!
  • Marguerite (AKA Mistress Minor) gives one to Leader Acacia in Chapter 19 of All in the Family.
    Mistress Minor: Hey! I don't know who you think you are, but if there's one thing I'm sure you could never be, it would be God.
    Warden: Marguerite... No...
    Mistress Minor: Dad, butt out. (focuses on Leader Acacia) You think you're so tough, don't you, Acacia? You think you can just sneer all you like and rule from your throne until your son Fidel is ready, don't you, Acacia? Well, I've got three words for you: Go. To. Hell. And I'll say them again. Go. To. Hell.
    Mistress Major: Maggie, darling, I don't think that's a good idea.
    Mistress Minor: And those threats about reducing me and my family and my friends to limbless, blind, deaf and sewn-up dummies? Guess what? They don't scare me one bit! Ha!
    Warden: Marguerite, I think that's quite enough.
    Mistress Minor: Dad, let me handle this. (focuses once again on Leader Acacia) I'm tired of waiting for this STUPID war to be over. And I'm tired of people like you who insist that the world revolves around them and that they know their destiny when they know nothing! I don't know my destiny but I don't feel the need to act confident that I do. And that's your worst flaw of all: overconfidence. You can't hurt us, like you say you can, anymore than my father's father has, or Lord Stingray when he first came to us, or the man who killed Grandma.

Transformers
  • In Eugenesis, A time-displaced Optimus Prime gives a speech to a combined army of Autobots and Decepticons, telling them how they ruined Cybertron, and how they deserve to be enslaved by the Quintessons for what they've done, while at the same time delivering a Rousing Speech as well. To his horror, he gets applauded anyway.

The Vampire Diaries
  • In the AU The Vampire Diaries story "Return To Mystic Falls" Vampire Caroline (who was turned not long after the Salvatores) gives one to Logan Fell after he has killed her descendant Sheriff Forbes
    "You know I bet you probably think that becoming a vampire is the best thing that's ever happened to you. Not only can you be a womanizing prick but you can also kill the girls when you're done with them because you don't really care about them. You know I've killed my share of people and vampires just like you. Have fun in hell."
    Jeremy: Why are you only thinking about yourself?
    Caroline:I'm not even thinking about myself here. I am thinking about you. Have you even thought about how you're going to get blood? Plus you need human blood to turn. The only reason that Vicki was able to turn was because she killed Logan. You're just a kid, Jeremy. Maybe you should try to live your life a little before you try to join the afterlife. You know what, I'm breaking up with you because you have this sense of entitlement right now and you need to grow up.
  • The Vampire Diaries fanfic "Yoana" has Katherine's sister Yoana give one to Klaus.
    Yoana: "You hurt people for no reason. You think that the only way that you can get people to listen to you is to push them around. You keep your brothers in boxes because they won't leave you and now you want these hybrids under the assumption that they won't leave you as soon as they turn. You're such a pathetic old man that desperately wants friends without wanting to take any real initiative to make them."
    • She later receives one from Lexi after refusing to turn on her humanity back on
    Lexi: "Maybe I can't, but you're the one who is suffering. You're the one who is too much a wimp to turn it on. You want to be this big badass that doesn't even feel anything. Why don't you ask Klaus why he hasn't turned off his humanity? He might say that he doesn't feel anything, but what about that breakdown when all of his hybrids died? What about all of those times that he's put his siblings in boxes? Just because you can't be hurt by the sun anymore doesn't make you better. All turning into a wolf has left you with is tattered clothing. I may be dead, but I'm nowhere near as pathetic as you. You're afraid to feel things because you don't think that anyone will love you."

Unsorted
  • Played straight and then subverted in Ultimate Sleepwalker: The New Dreams, when Psyko has led an army of brainwashed supervillains in a mass invasion and beaten Sleepwalker to within an inch of his life. Sleepwalker, already half-made with guilt over Psyko's creation, completely loses his mind and tries to kill his human host Rick Sheridan. It takes some Epiphany Therapy from Rick to bring Sleepwalker around, and when Sleepy comes back for round two, Psyko tries the speech again, only for Sleepwalker to throw it right back in his face with a Shut Up, Hannibal! retort of his own.
  • See It My Way in The Harmon Verse had the Original Character, Jack Harmon, unleashes one on Figgins
    Jack: Here's an idea. Why don't you grow a set and learn how to play the game? You let the Cheerios get away everything under the two suns of Jupiter and what they do isn't even worth the price of admission. You have a chance to have winners in this school at something, anything, and you are too stupid to see it.
  • In the Katawa Shoujo fanfic, Reconciliation, Hanako gets one from a grief-stricken Lilly, when she tries to offer her comfort after Hisao's funeral. While Hanako agrees with the criticism, she also realizes that the speaker did not mean what she said.
    Lilly: “SHUT UP! You don’t know what I’m going through! You didn’t just lose the most important person in your life! You haven’t had your entire world shattered without warning or reason! I don’t have the same luxury you have! When things get too tough, you know what you do, Hanako? You just run away!”
  • The fan comic "The 3 Little Princesses" has Rosalina giving scathing speeches to Peach and Daisy for their behavior and the mess they put her through during their sleepover. At first, she tries to hold in her anger, but as time passed and she found the Cosmic Duct tape she needed to fix her ship to get home in Peach's bathroom cabinet, she had enough of it. She basically told Peach she was the most obnoxious person she ever met and the way she acted contradicted with how she was suppose to act: a good ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. She also lambasted Daisy by saying she has no self-esteem of her own, supposedly rules over Sarasaland (which she described as a kingdom that nobody heard of to the point of doubting its existence), and calling her loud and how she "expresses herself like a Spanish cow."
  • The Suite Life on Deck story Roommates has Bailey give one to Cody calling him out on his behavior that he displayed in the show after she starts showing interest in Zack. Also keep in mind she is suffering from amnesia.
    "Well even if everything that you say is true, I can tell that Zack is a good fellow. You, on the other hand have done nothing but make statements to draw attention to your own intelligence and you seem to think that you are the smartest person in the world. You make it seem like I don't have a choice in who I want to date. Well I do, and I choose him.
  • Be the Sea Dweller Lowblood's version of Karkat gets these all. The. Time. It's implied that if he wasn't the Imperious Grand Advisier, second-in-command of the enormous troll empire, he'd be getting even more. Unfortunately for the deliverers, his bottomless pit of self-loathing and pension for kissmessitude mean that, more often than not, they just end up turning him on.
  • In A Certain Crazy Christmas Special, Touma says this against Bad Santa:
    "Let's settle this you imposter," Touma yelled.
    Santa glared. "What did you just call me?"
    "You heard me. You may have been assigned the name, you may have been mocked and ridiculed for it but you have done nothing to earn it! You don't bring happiness to good children by giving out presents; you do the complete opposite and steal for your own selfish gains. Face it magician. You are nothing but a crazy old coot hiding behind a facade. You are not Santa and I'm going to shatter the illusion that you have anything to do with this holiday!"
  • Chapter 5 of Keena & the Defendants of Constan Magic Academy has Keena doing this in a Dream Sequence to Junko, likely a possible Take That and Lampshade Hanging on how both anime and manga adaptations of Demon King Daimao don't really expand their implied friendship:
    Keena: Junko…you never really tried being friends with me. I did try, but you were too occupied being selfish in trying to either try to befriend Akuto or kill him. You're kind of a constant enigma, never understanding the word "misunderstanding", always trying to look cool that you're in a notable family. When you and Akuto were on an arranged marriage, you never bothered to invite me, so I had to stay alone on the Acadamy. Look how good that turned out! Do you also even remember what happened on the beach school? I accidentially caused a sea cucumber to spray all over you, and despite me trying to tell you "sorry" and trying you just told me "to stay the hell away", which hurted my feelings! You're just a quick-to-judge kind of person! You care for yourself, your family, maybe Akuto, but nothing more! You don't care about having friends! At least I was shy, which explains why I struggled, but look at you, you were class representative! You've hurt my feelings twice and God knows how your selfish behavior could've hurted more. I once said you and Akuto were best friends…but maybe I should've shared more… I've changed a bit, and while the previous me wouldn't be annoyed, I am now. I hopefully should never see you again, you shallow-headed, uncaring, bitchy, JACKASS!
  • In the Rise of the Guardians fic Guardian of Light, the main character, Helen, gives a rather epic one to Pitch, her biological father.
    Helen: Whoa! Who are you to tell me what to do?
    Pitch: I'm your father!
    Helen: Oh, that makes perfect sense! Yes, you're my father! Who, for the last couple of centuries, has been parading across the planet scaring the pants off little kiddies and trying to plunge the world into darkness! And when you finally realize that you have a daughter you not only kidnap me and try and turn me into a creature of darkness, but you also think you have the right to tell me who I can and can't date! Actually, just who I can't date!
    Pitch: It is a parent's job to make sure their child does exactly as they say!
    Helen: (punches him) What kind of father tries to turn his own daughter into some kind of shadow being? If you really cared about me you would do what was best for me, instead of what's best for yourself. I can't be forced to be someone I don't want to be.
  • In the Glee story A Different Direction, Faith Hudson gives one to April Rhodes
    Shut up! You are an alcoholic, loser, criminal whore. I'd like to see what Mr. Schue ever saw in you because I don't see a single redeeming quality about you. I think you need to get the fuck out of here before I call the cops and you get labelled as a sex offender for the rest of your life.
    • She also gives one to Kurt, mirroring Finn's speech in "Theatricality", although more focused on how Kurt always thinks he's right and didn't even ask for her opinion when decorating their room.

Comic Books"The Reason You Suck" SpeechFilm

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