The Reason You Suck Speech: Fanfic
- Turnabout Of Courage: Hazama loves to give these (even almost saying these exact words at one point), but the biggest one comes if you go down the path of the Bad Ending. The speech there is almost like a self-insert for Blackrune, really. He stomps in your face for thinking that he'd ever have so many useless pieces of evidence and unexplained plot threads.
- In Turnabout Substitution, Apollo delivers one to Rhea Wits, the real Mysterious Bust Killer, after besting her in their final confrontation. She had just previously taunted him before they were due to reconvene in court, admiting that they killed "dozens" of people because their victims simply did not "live life to its fullest" (according to their warped view on life and death), as well as going on about the ecstasy that killing and evading justice provided them with. They considered the only people who really "lived" were thrill-seekers, terrorists, etc., as they lived without fear of dying:
Rhea Wits: Not bad, for a lower life form. Or perhaps figments of my imagination, telling me my life is over. Oh well. At least I'll die knowing I did something with my life! I'll die knowing my life had meaning, unlike everyone else in this courtroom! You were all so concerned with what I did, with the past. With something that was dead and gone. With mundane details... who did it, where, when, how... You spent so much time on these questions, you were so concerned with them, you stopped thinking about yourselves! Wanna know what was the most amusing part to me?
Apollo Justice: ...
Rhea Wits: When everyone kept trying to make sense of the crime! The photographs, the music sheet, the bust... it was all meaningless! I picked out some random words in the dictionary, and voila! My crime scenes. So, how does it feel to know the truth?
Apollo Justice: ...I've been thinking about what you told me in the defence lobby. And I finally have an answer for you.
Rhea Wits: Oh, really? I'd love to hear what sort of inane response you've devised.
Apollo Justice: You are completely wrong. What gives meaning to our lives... is other lives. Those people you talked about, who were truly living, who weren't afraid of death... They aren't afraid of death... because they aren't truly living. They concern themselves with their own lives, and try to find meaning in cheap, short-lived thrills. Do you know why a regular "Joe Schmoe", as you put it, will beg for his life when threatened? Because he has friends and family he doesn't want to leave. Friends and family that he does not want to suffer grief and hardship.
Rhea Wits: ...
Apollo Justice: Everything you said has been completely wrong. The only person in this room whose life doesn't have meaning... is you. Poole has been prosecuting solely for Judge and Arthur. Strings is a judge only because of his father. And my reason for staying in this world is right here. *Shows them his mobile phone, as a symbol of his connection between his overseas companions* But you, Rhea. You. I can't think of a better metaphor than this photographnote . At first glance, it seems fine and normal. But on closer inspection... it's fake. You don't live for anyone... not even yourself.
This is what your life is truly like! *Rips photograph to shreds* Face it: you're shallow, empty... Imaginary. You think you've lived life to the fullest? You think you are the greatest human being, with the most meaningful life out of all of us? You're not. People won't care that you're gone. And I don't mean they won't mourn your death. I mean they'll care so little, they won't even celebrate your death. You think you'll live on in history as an exceptionally feared criminal? Heh. Even that won't happen.
You are one of the most pathetic criminals I've seen! The only reason you got caught was your own fault. You cross-examined yourself to confession. I gave you the shovel... and you kept on digging.
Rhea Wits: ...I see. *Has a Villainous Breakdown*
- Alex has the titular antagonist saying one to Marceline (and interestingly enough, plays word-by-word homage to the speech Ranger Smith gave Yogi Bear in the 2010 live action movie)
Alex: That's the problem, Marceline, all that pranks you've pulled. Hey, you know what would be great? If you didn't make pranks. If you could just be a regular vampire. You know, sleeping in her coffin during the day and minding her own business at night. But nope, you're different, you're stagnant, and you have to spend your days being selfish and destructive while everyone else pays the price. I'm sure it's been enough to screw up Bonnibel's life. This time, you had to go down, and turn the Land of Ooo into a dark swamp. Tell me, Marcy, how far you would go now?
- In How I Became Yours, Zuko and Mai exchange these speeches after Zuko finds out that Mai concealed the letters about Katara's pregnancy from him. Each accuses the other of being selfish and endangering the Fire Nation, and while Zuko is supposed to be the sympathetic one, Mai's arguments are more convincing.
Zuko: Now I see why I couldn't love you even when I tried to! My gut knew that you would do something like this to me! A Child mai! You didn't do this for our country! You didn't do this for me! You did this for you! You hate her more than anything since the second you saw her!! And I will not have you talk about her that way! For your selfish reasons, you might have put our country in dander and all that I have built for this nation!! Your a traitor!Mai: Stop talking like you care about this country and the people in it! I am your queen and you betrayed us all! It's because you love that tramp!!! You never cared about anyone but yourself you chard monster! I seen it the day you left their little group and became Fire Lord! The way you looked at her said it all! Your the liar!!!!Zuko: i'm going to pretend you didn't say chard... monster... Regardless of what you think you saw, at that point in my life, I wasn't with you... your sins are way darker, and your demons more desirable than mine could ever be. I can't trust you anymore. You have made loving you impossible now. You will not talk to me like you now me. You will be stripped of your title. Tonight you will leave the palace... I am not Zuko to you anymore... and you are not my Queen...
- In Morality Chain, Azula interrogates Iroh over his betrayal at Ba Sing Se. Iroh scolds her that the whole war was brought about because of Sozin's legacy having a feud with Avatar Roku and in turn his descendant that it was endangering the overall peace of the world. However, considering, in this story, Zuko's her Morality Chain, she was nothing but supportive to both of them in their exile (Iroh she was barely civil and only for Zuko's sake), and this action comes across as him betraying the Fire Nation. Zuko takes it especially hard, and the princess is not happy about this.
Azula: I guess continuing this conversation is pointless. It's not like you actually care about how Zuko feels anyway.Iroh: You have no right to say something like that.Azula: Don't I? You've been nothing but cruel to Zuko, Uncle. How am I supposed to interpret that?Iroh: Cruel?Azula: Oh? What else am I supposed to call it when you've been stringing him along for three years, Uncle! You never had any intention of letting him capture the Avatar! He trusted you, Uncle! He trusted you, and relied on you, and now you've taken all that trust and thrown it back in his face!Iroh: Those three years were meant to guide him-Azula: And even assuming your nonsense holds any water, you 'guided' him so well that no one was more surprised than Zuko when you turned on us! Excellent work, Uncle. You were so incompetent you couldn't even corrupt him properly. You know what, Uncle? As far as I'm concerned, you're no better towards Zuko than Father ever was. At least he was straightforward about things.
- In What SHOULD have Happened in Avatar the Last Airbender there are plenty of speeches to go around. However, the most memorable and astounding one is the one Yon Rha gives Zuko.
Yon Rha:You deserve that scar, you pathetic excuse for a prince!Zuko:Do you want to die today?Yon Rha:No! But I do want you to realize something! Do you know how many years I gave of my life to the Fire Nation military? How many times I pushed myself and risked life and limb for the glory and honor of my nation? Do you think you get to be the head of a specialized division thats responsible for neutralizing threats from an entire part of the world by not doing that?Now you’re willing to kill me, a dedicated, sacrificing soldier, just to gain some kind of victory with her! Any of that sounding familiar? And don’t think I don’t know how you got that mark on your face! Old-nobodies in the middle of the Earth Kingdom know it!Now, I don’t know what she told you about what I did or what happened between me, her, and her mother, so I’ll forgive you for hunting me down. But the second! The literal second that you heard my side of the story! My side that told you that I was following orders to take out a credible threat! My side that told you that I was deep in enemy territory and that taking the bender out alive would’ve been near impossible and the time it would have taken would’ve endangered my troops! The second you heard that, you should have stopped this girl and tried to make sure you knew what really happened that day so that you could make the right decision!But you didn’t. You did exactly what that general in that war room did on that day. I can see it in your eyes: Winning a measure of respect from this girl was a near-impossible obstacle in your path so you decided to sacrifice a man who loved and defended the Fire Nation to overcome it! So, yes, you deserve that scar. But there’s something else you deserve. You deserve a message, one single message from the hearts, minds, and memories of the entire 41st division:Fuck you, Zuko
- In Opheliac, after Ozai escapes prison and is planning to start a civil war to reclaim the throne, Azula gives one to Aang, calling him out for being too naive and not killing Ozai when he had the chance.
Azula: No, it will not be okay. Thanks to you, my country is about to be devastated by civil war, and instead of standing up like a man and facing the consequences of your actions, you choose to run like a scared rabbit and hide from the truth. Do you have any idea how childish you are?Aang: No, why don't you tell me?Azula: Oh, I will. You are a spoiled, idiotic, pathetic little boy who keeps prancing around like the world is a bright, happy place where everything is rainbows and butterflies and happy little turtle-duck families. You refuse to face the world as it is, and because of that, my people and my country are in mortal danger. What do you have to say for yourself?Katara: Stop it.Azula: No. Let the boy speak for himself. What do you have to say for yourself? (Aang looks at Katara for help and Azula pokes him hard in the chest) Answer me!Aang: I needed to get away! I just...I had to clear my head.Azula: That isn't good enough.Katara: Stop treating him this way! You have no idea what he's been through!Azula: Oh? What have you been through, Avatar? You grew up in a temple where everyone loved you and helped you and taught you. Then you ran away and got locked up in ice for a hundred years, while your people were slaughtered. How sad. And then you get out and you spend a year running around the world, having an absolutely fabulous time learning about the elements, with only a couple of hiccups, and you depose my father with a stroke of blind luck. Tell me, have you ever been told that you're wrong? Have you ever felt worthless, or powerless, or small? Have you ever had your heart broken or had anyone ever not love you? No. No, you haven't. Imagine growing up the way I did. Imagine that your worth is measured by how good a firebender you are, or by how badly your brother fails. Imagine that nothing you do is ever quite good enough for your father, and your mother thinks you're a monster. Imagine that no one likes you, that everyone you know is just waiting for the chance to turn on you. Imagine that you have no one to turn to, nowhere to go, and nothing to believe in but yourself. Imagine that running away is not and has never been an option. Can you survive in this world? Could you, for even one day, live that way? (Aang is silent) Answer me!Aang: (softly) No.Azula: I can't hear you.Aang: I said no! Are you happy now?Azula: No. Not until you've learned how to.
- In Snow, Ozai gives one to thirteen-year-old Zuko after watching his son's less-than-stellar firebending.
Ozai: (after Zuko points out that he could improve if they spent more time training together) I would desire to spend more time with you if you showed the slightest competency at any of the tasks I've set you. Your firebending lags far behind your sister, despite her age. Your marks in school are average at best. Do you think you deserve to spend time with me? Do you think you deserve to inherit the throne?Zuko: Father, that's not what I -Ozai: Look at you. You think it's a matter of luck that sets you apart from Azula? No. There are a thousand other barriers between you. You are complacent, naive, foolish - not unlucky. You inherited all your mother's softness. But if it's luck you wish to speak about, my son, very well. Azula was born lucky. You, wretched offspring of mine, were lucky to be born.
Iroh: Please, Princess Azula. You must not leave bad blood between you. Reconcile with your brother. It is best for both of you.Azula: Reconcile? Are you serious, Uncle? He does nothing but blame me and look down on me, and still you think it's my fault? Don't pretend for an instant you care about my side of this. All you've ever bothered with is Zuko. He's your precious little replacement, isn't he? I know why you're out here. I know why you haven't gone to visit him. You can't stand to see him, can you? First your son gets killed, and then your surrogate son gets half his face burnt off. And you probably think that both times were your fault, and you're right! You brought Lu Ten to war, and you brought Zuko to that war meeting. Even your wife ended up dead. You can't love anything without it breaking, can you? Too bad Zuko's going to have a scar. He won't look like Lu Ten anymore.
- A few chapters later, Azula lets loose on Iroh with one:
- In the infamous Stormbenders, Sokka throws one at Aang for his failure with the Avatar state at the end of season 2, blaming him for things that weren't even his fault:
"You're sorry?" Sokka rolled to his feet. "Aang, they broke our dad's ribs. They kicked him until he spat blood. Teo's dad is still in prison. People died." [...]"And I love her!" Sokka grabbed Aang and forced him to face Suki. "I love her and they had her in chains and I couldn't get to her and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making up for that because you couldn't get your act together-"
- In the fanfic Three Families, in Chapter 40, we get a great one from Young!Azula to Old!Azula after the Dai Li obey Long Feng and arrest Azula during the Coup.
Young!Azula: "This is what all of your scheming and preparation has been leading to, you old hag. All of that time and effort, wasted. I could have told you you'd find some way to muck it up. Your entire life is one big failure after another."Old!Azula: "You don't know anything about me!"Young!Azula: "I know more than you think. I know that you turned me into your personal ball of hate against people who you see as your enemies. And you know what? I don't think they are."Old!Azula: "Then you're a traitor as well as a coward!"Young!Azula: "Oh, will you listen to yourself? You called yourself a traitor. If only you could hear yourself."Old!Azula: "This is... a minor setback! I will find a way to rule this city!"Young!Azula: "No you won't. You've managed to fail in every way possible. I'm not the traitor to my homeland; you are! I'm not the screw up my father cast out; YOU ARE! This is all your fault! If you hadn't come along, none of this would have happened!"
- In What a Way to Fall, being a Recursive Fanfiction of the Financial Crisis Gangbang, has several of these.
- Spain, of all people, delivers a very blistering one to South Italy, calling him out for his self-centered attitude, the way he acts like the world owes him something and for being a Jerkass and declaring his disappointment for him. South Italy attempts to fire one back, calling Spain out on his blatant favoritism of North Italy, but Spain refuses to hear it.
- A nightmare vision of New!America dishes out some brutal ones to her predecessor's rapists as well, warning them that should they do to her what they did to Alfred, she won't let them off as easily.
- Canada also delivers some towards his brother's attackers as well, most especially to England and North Italy.
- Another Recursive Fanfiction of the FCGB called Parting Sentiments has America deliver a brutal one to England after the latter attempts to apologize to him for the assault. The author (who also wrote What a Way to Fall) states she was inspired by Bojack Horseman for the speech.
America: "I'm not going to give you even an ounce of forgiveness for what you did to me on that day, Arthur. You don't deserve any of that. You have to live with this shitty thing you did for the rest of your life, and it’s going to be a very, very long one. You have to know that it's never, ever going to be okay! Because no matter how long it has been or will be since that day, no matter how much therapy I get, no matter how much alcohol I drown myself in, no matter how sorry you feel, I can never feel better or "get over it"! And I sure as hell am not going to forgive you just because you feel bad and you need to clear your conscience! Do you know what it was like for me? I had nobody. Even Matt couldn't completely understand! I knew all those phonies like Ivan, and Yao, and maybe Kiku and Lovino, would turn their backs on me the second the going got rough, sure. But you? You didn't just hurt me, Arthur; you fucking stabbed me in the back, humiliated me, took away all of my dignity and then some, and then shat all over the trust and love that I had for you like it meant absolutely nothing to you! You swore that you would protect me and have my back. And you abandoned me. I will never forgive you for that! Now get the fuck out of my house."
- Quite a few of the in-story reviews in Bleach Fan Works involve this. One standout example is the reviews to Chapter 3 of Jolene Meyer's story.
Dark Kuroda: I'm a flamer because I said something negative about your fanfic? You really need to grow up and understand that not everyone is going to praise what you do. This chapter is better then your first too, she is slightly more likeable. However, she is making the characters run circles around her. That is what we call a Blackhole Sue. Particularly since you do make the characters OoC here.Jolene Meyers: I am just going to ignore you. You don't know what you're talking about. None of what you say makes any sense at all.Oshikko: Yes... I am a flamer. I enjoy telling you how much your story actually sucks. Seriously... don't you get that this would never actually happen in the world of Bleach? I enjoy reading your fanfic because I enjoy laughing at your stupidity. Do you actually act like this girl. No... wait, I read Cutie Pie 3's review from last chapter. You're trying to mimic that shit Twilight. You are successful in that but then... that isn't hard to do.Jolene Meyers: Don't you dare diss Twilight! You are a moron not to see how great of a writer Meyer happens to be! I laugh at your stupidity, you moron. If my fanfic is so bad, why don't you write your own version, huh?Oshikko: Sure I will. Keep in mind, you suggested I do so.
- Ichigo's Inner Hollow gives one to Orihime in A Black Heart during the Hollow invasion.
Inner Hollow: "You know... this is all your fault, you know that right? Your friends are getting the shit beat out of them and all you can do is stand here whimpering. Isn't that what you've always done?! What's so hard about helping them out to defend you?!"Orihime: "But... I'm not as strong as they are."Inner Hollow: "Bullshit! Tatsuki pummeled those basic defense lessons into you, till she was confident that you could hold your own in the future. Yet at no time have you ever, EVER used them! You get groped on a daily basis and still unconsciously expect Tatsuki to save you! So again, why won't you defend yourself?!"Orihime: "I... I... I don't want to add any more hurt to this world. W-what if the last thing a person remembered before they died, was how I hurt them?"Inner Hollow: "Are you fucking kidding me?! That's even more fucked up than your last reason! What makes you so special that you won't take responsibility for your actions to defend yourself?! What gives you the right to force that burden on Tatsuki?! And if you haven't already noticed Princess, the world's a shithole where bad things happen to good people. ARGH do you have any idea how badly I want to beat your head in right now!"
- Calvin and Hobbes: The Series:
Calvin: IT…WAS…YOU! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! MY OWN BEST FRIEND WENT AND GOT ME FRAMED! YOU TRAITOR! BENEDICT HOBBES! I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!
- "The Case of the Rogue Water Balloon" has this gem, delivered from Calvin to Hobbes:
Hobbes: Uh Calvin?
Calvin: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! I WELCOME YOU INTO MY HOME! I LET YOU EAT MY TUNA! I LET YOU POUNCE ME AND ATTACK ME! I LET YOU BE FRIENDS WITH SOCRATES! I EVEN LET YOU BE PRESIDENT OF G.R.O.S.S! AND YET…YOU DO THIS! YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T THROW YOU OUT ON YOUR FURRY BUTT ON THE SIDEWALK FOR THIS!
Hobbes: Okay, calm down.
Calvin: YOU KNOW WHAT? EVER SINCE I LET YOU INTO MY HOUSE, YOU'VE GIVEN ME NOTHING BUT TROUBLE! I USED TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE! BUT NOW MY LIFE IS COMPLETELY TOPSY-TURVY, FILLED WITH POUNCES, FIGHTS, CUTS AND BETRAYALS!
Hobbes: Take it easy.
Calvin: BUT THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE! YOU DELIBERATLY TRIED TO GET ME INTO TROUBLE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND! BUT I WAS WRONG! YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE, STRIPES! YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE, HOBBES! I AM GOING TO TEACH YOU A LESSON YOU'LL NEVER REMEMBER: NEVER BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU!
"All MTM ever did was try to help us. He always fired his lasers on time, and he always tried to lighten the mood. And what did you do during all those adventures? You were always running off. You were always hiding. You never helped us. What happened when we were attacked by a monster under my bed? You ran off. What happened when Socrates and I were attacked by a mountain lion? You ignored us. What happened when we were all trapped by that ghost? You deserted us. What happened when Socrates was lost and cornered by two bears? You feigned injury and made me do all the work, AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE SOCRATES! YOU STAND HERE COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW USELESS MY INVENTIONS ARE, WHEN IN REALITY, YOU'RE THE USELESS ONE! I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER WITH YOU! I SHOULD'VE KICKED YOU OUT ON YOUR SORRY FURRY BUTT YEARS AGO!"
- Near the end of "Thunderstorm", the Season 3 finale, Hobbes mocks the recently deceased MTM as being useless, and Calvin replies as follows:
"You deceived me right from the start. You showed me dreams of ruling the world together, but no! You had to break the promise. It made me realize it was all just a lie!And now you get no mercy. SERVANT RAY! DO NOT ATTACK AND DESTROY THUNDERSTORM!"
- Brainstorm also delivers a smaller one to Thunderstorm later on:
- Can You Imagine That? has Hobbes giving one to Calvin (who retorts with a Dare to Be Badass speech):
"Well, this is just great, Calvin. Just great. Thanks to you, we are now hopelessly lost in an area of the woods we're not familiar with! We could've stayed home for at least a week before the camping trip and have all the fun we wanted. No, you had to make sure your summer vacation was perfect. Well, let me tell you something, buster! Right now, sleeping in a tent on hard rocks and eating dead sea animals and dry spam is starting to sound pretty good right now! You wanna go and get lost in this place? Fine. I'm going home!"
- In the Harry Potter and Durarara!! crossover fanfiction, Game of the Future, Shizuo gives a particularly scathing one to Izaya after Izaya tells him he thinks humans are scum and are fun to mess with.
Izaya chuckled darkly, and then laughed maniacally, an act which not only infuriated Shizuo, but also made him scared. —>"What's wrong, Shizu-chan? Have I scared you...? Good. I must let you know one thing. I am above humanity, I don't succumb to their petty emotions, their disgusting, ludicrous, self-centered, twisted ways...I watch them rise and watch them fall like the pathetic little creatures they are...sparing a look of pity for them...pity that they hadn't resisted their fates some more. I mean, what's more pathetic than giving into a destiny that isn't yours and just not even fighting at all?"Shizuo glowered at him, and then he slugged him so hard that Izaya fell to the ground, writhing in pain, clutching his cheek, which now felt absolutely numb. He could feel red crimson dripping down his face and landing on his slender fingers..."Let me tell you something, flea...it's that disgusting attitude of yours that repulses me. No, it's more than that; it's that cackle you make every time some innocent girl you befriend online and then toy with decides to off herself because you've fucked with her mind; it's that face I see with no emotion as he mocks his 'prey' and lets them suffer because he thinks he's doing them a 'favor', and also, it's that damned lack of self-empathy you have. Can't you feel for those people you cut down and lead them to madness? No, you can't. You're convinced you're above everyone else, Izaya. No one else can tell you you're wrong; they must be insane. That must be the answer for everyone that can see through your facade and see you for the twisted, insane bastard you are-""...""I'm not finished yet, bastard. You know what else I hate about you? I hate your Goddamned self-righteousness, how you think this entire world revolves around you and your pathetic schemes. God of the world? No, you're just an egotistical asshole who feels it's okay to put others down because he's really that insecure about his madness that he feels he should drag down others with him. IF you had any heart Izaya, you'd be changing your ways. But no all you do is cling to your pathetic lies and make excuses."
- In the Jackie Chan Adventures and Teen Titans crossover fanfiction A Shadow Of The Titans, Jade gives a masterful one to the Master of Games during the last fight of the Tournament of Villainesses after he proclaims he always wins:
"Yeah, because you stack the deck. And brag about beating up a girl who has already fought hard while you sit on the sidelines. I know real badasses, and you don't even come close to the list," Zhu Chan taunted."Enough of your impudence!" he commanded, firing a starbolt at her. She burst it with an optic blast."Sloppy. You may have a lot of power, but you didn't earn it. They may not have been smart, but at least they know their own power, idiot," Jade shook her head.
- In Kage (a part of Project Dark Jade, like A Shadow Of The Titans above) Jade gives one to Will over her disgust of the Guardians for framing Raythor for a crime he did not commit, getting him banished to the Abyss of Shadows in the process.
Jade: Funny that you of all people would talk about cowardice.Will: What's that supposed to mean?Jade: Only cowards frame an innocent man and make him be banished from his own world.Will: I did no such thing. Neither did my friends.Jade: Don't lie. I know all about what you did to Raythor, how you desecrated his loyalty and honor. And for what, for a blue brute who only deserves to be banished?Will: We had to do it to save Vathek. Besides, he rightfully deserved what happened to him. Raythor is a traitor to Meridian, the same as all of you Knights.Jade: Traitors, us? I think that you have everything backwards. Who betrayed his vow by spying for the Rebellion? Or betrayed his vow by helping the Rebellion? Vathek and Tynar are the ones that betrayed their principles and words of honor, not Raythor. They are the true traitors. As for you five, well you are even less than them. You are no heroes, you never were to begin with.Will: We are the Guardians, chosen to fend off evil to save the Universe. We helped bring down your master and all his minions. We are heroes.Jade: So, saving one measly world makes you heroes? Don't make me laugh. I know true heroes, true champions of good and justice. They never compromised their ideals and principles in order to win against evil. Compared to them, you are less than a pale imitation. You don't deserve the position that you hold.Will: You talk big for a bad guy that is about to be defeated. Besides, your type doesn't care for heroism and good.
- In Better Living Through Science And Ponies, this is, as in the games, GLaDOS' bread and butter. She delivers particularly brutal ones to each of the Mane Cast in turn, plus Ditzy Doo, preying on Rainbow Dash's fear of failure, Rarity's vanity, and Pinkie Pie's fear of loneliness. She tells Applejack that she's stupid, tells Twilight Sparkle that the others are only her friends because Princess Celestia is bribing them, and tricks Fluttershy into killing the Companion Cube. However, when she tries to apply the same on Princess Celestia, the Princess effectively engages in Troll Judo, turning every one of GLaDOS' taunts back on her. Even a psychopathic A.I. specialized in Passive-Aggressive Kombat and psychological torture can't compete with Trollestia.
- In Children of Time, Beth Lestrade stands up both to dark!Holmes and Professor Moriarty.
Holmes: "Believe what you will, Miss Lestrade — it is of no matter to me. As is your regard for the man you once knew.”Beth: "Then what does matter to you? The fact that because you’re now oh-so-aloof-and-alone, you’re not going to be hurt anymore by the people you love? You’re not going to have to see them get hurt or die?”Holmes: "That was the entire point of Moriarty’s taking me under his wing, so to speak — the man wished for a protégé, an equal he could mold into a facsimile of himself. As you can see, he was rather successful.”Beth: "You coward."
- For Holmes:
"You're not going to win. Sorry, but you can't. It's not in your nature. You will always... beget... your own destruction, because destruction is all you can do. That is why, in the end, you will always lose."
- For Moriarty:
- In Connecting The Dots, what is a combination of Crowning Moment of Awesome, Take That, Scrappy! and this trope, Robin trolls Sasuke while Sasuke is trying to torture Robin with the memory of the day his parents died:
Robin: "It never gets any better, does it?"Sasuke: (angrly ignores Robin)Robin: "People will tell you the pain goes away, that you'll find a new life, that someday you'll forget all this." (Sasuke intensifies the memory) "But it never does. Others will tell you that once you kill those responsible, then you'll feel complete, then you'll be able to live with yourself. But it doesn't get easier does it?"Sasuke: " Do you ever stop talking?"Robin: "Only if I have a reason to. Witty banter distracts the opponent, often causes him to underestimate his foe. "In this particular case, I can see that my talking annoys you, so I have all the reason in the world to continue talking."
Robin: "You know, it's not like you're the first person to try this trick. Scarecrow, Headmaster, Dr. Destiny… I've had more people then you'd believe dig up this scene and show it to me. And no offense, but compared to them? You stink at this."Sasuke: "Be quiet!" (intensifies memory)Robin: "I'll bet I can guess why, too. This sort of thing is too close to you. You understand it too well to go all the way. So. Let me guess. Your parents died when you were young, and now you've got a vengeance complex built up. I understand that, believe me. In your case, though, I'm guessing you've got some ego-centric issues—that you're somehow 'different' than anyone else because of this experience and that means you can just do whatever."Sasuke: "You know nothing. You know nothing of the pain I have endured, you cannot conceive…"Robin: "Tch. I know what it's like to lose your parents. I know what it is to lead a life in the shadows, trained by a man who barely knows how to live himself. I know what it is to sacrifice any chance at a normal life for the protection of others, which I get the feeling is something you DON'T know."Sasuke: "Oh? And what about losing your entire clan? Do you know what that is like?"Robin: "No." (shrugs) "Do you know what it's like to lose your entire planet? Your entire species? Neither do I, but I know plenty who have, and none of them are as big a loser as you are." (laughs). "So you've lost a lot. But have you ever sacrificed something? Or do you just think you deserve everything outright? Cause seriously? That's like a little baby whining for toys he can't have."
- Chapter 7 of The Devil and the Detective has Michio Yuki giving one to Conan Edogawa when it comes to hiding his secret from Ran Mouri.
Michio: I think you're the one who's lying. Not to Ran, but to yourself. You're the one who refuses to let her accept the truth. Deep down, you knew that if she founds out who you truly are, your life will have to go back to the way it was before. Your days of protecting her secretly are at an end, Shinichi, so as your attempts to hide. All your dreams have been shattered, haven't they? Life is like that, detective. Sooner or later, the people who are close to you have the right to find out this secret of yours. Whenever you tried to make someone forget about it, it's gonna smack you down. On the bright side, at least you and I won't have to see each other ever again.
- Though a fledgling fic only ten chapters in, already half that amount has been delivered in this, most of which downplayed.
"My God, how I envy you," began the would-be world ruler of the skull insignia after a moment of silence spent drawing a breath into the service so many knew, "because you must be the proud owner of some SPACE CEBERUS-SIZED PAIR OF ALGAE CLUMPS TO MALIGN RESTING EYES WHEN YOU NO DOUBT HAD YOURS DOWN WHEN YOU PREPARED THIS JOKE OF A STRATEGY MEETING!"BUT AT LEAST YOU ACTUALLY HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR LETTING THEM FALL: SPENDING YOUR STRENGTH CAVING IN YOUR MODEL STILL LIFE MODEL OF A RUMP SEATING IT IN FRONT OF SOME SCREEN, LIVING OUT REAL SUCCESS THROUGH COMICS, OR GRAPPLING WITH THOSE GODDAMN, PAY-PILLAGING GUNDAMS, THE PRODUCTIVITY OF WHICH IS AS LOW RANKING AS YOU OUGHT TO BE!"
- The inaugural example occurs, ironically enough, in the inaugural chapter, after Giroro is awakened and reprimanded by Keroro for his lack of professionalism:
... Wow. Keroro, I know it's been established before, but you truly are an impetuous, irresponsible ass. And judging by the sweat trickles fading into view against your "friends'" temples, I'm not the only one who thinks so.
- In chapter five, when Tamama reveals that the sergeant had disarmed the anti-barriers against the Kissho Academy Newspaper club, so as to make them out to be "schizophrenic crazies" in the public eye, the author entity makes no bones about his disgust, even if it's only in reference to its evoker:
"NO!" [Natsumi's] plod took a volte-face to deliver the line, the intensity displayed really accentuating those mandatory acting lessons from Michael Shannon. "Just stay away! Every second spent within even a mile radius of you takes a year off my life! You're like a cigarette, but with an axed calming effect! And whiter!"
- The Janitor receives his first dose of one in chapter six:
"THAT'S IT!" roared the corporal, with the fire of all the Froggerland's children, "I was around looong before you were even an itch in the pants of whatever abomination slithered out from Hell's chamberpot, so, as you can imagine, I've had some time to cross paths with even writer-repelling characters: know-it-all Lexiconians, rebel bombers, Christopher Walken impressionists! But now, in the span of one, one sliming week, you've hit the bullseye in coming to be the single worst son of a blaster - living, dead, or in-between - I have ever been forced to share a galaxy with!""So I have a life outside work."
- To add further insult, even if his complexion did lean that far on the spectrum, the common consensus with Asians is that paler is better.
- Ol' blue eyes again encounters this treatment three chapters later:
"Thanks, but it's nothing my Imams haven't told me before."
- Giroro deadpans a simple one in the most recent chapter after a lost bet (itself an offshoot of blackmail) forces him into slaver- sorry, "servitude":
- A Hero has Dalek Sec deliver an epic one to Kyubey:
Sec: YO-UR ME-THODS ARE RE-PUL-SIVE. YOU EX-PLOIT THESE HU-MANS, YOU WITH-HOLD VI-TAL IN-FOR-MA-TION-Kyubey: They never asked.Sec: -AND THEY DO NOT KNOW THEY SHO-ULD HAVE A-SKED! I HAVE SE-EN THIS WORLD’S EN-TER-TAIN-MENT; I HAVE DONE RE-SEARCH INTO ITS CUL-TURE. YOU HAVE MA-NI-PU-LA-TED ALL FA-CETS OF HU-MANITY TO CON-FORM TO YOUR GO-ALS, TO TAKE YOUR WO-RDS AT FACE VA-LUE! SO YOU MIGHT NE-VER HAVE TO LIE.Kyubey: Such techniques were necessary for the efficiency of the plan. I don’t understand, you are an advanced species, yet you cling to such primitive concepts like emotion like a younger race. It’s confusing, higher levels of technology can only be obtained by dedicating the mind to logic. How can you be so advanced?Sec: BE-CAUSE WE WAN-TED TO BE! LOOK AT MY FORM, WHAT DO YOU SEE?Kyubey: It is inefficient. There surely must be a more practical shape for you.Sec: YOU ARE CO-RRECT, MY FORM IS IL-LOGICAL, IM-PRACTICAL. BUT WE KEEP IT AS IT IS, BE-CAUSE IT IS A PART OF US, AS MUCH AS OUR GENES. SINCE THE GE-NE-SIS, WE HAVE AL-WAYS TA-KEN THIS SH-APE, AND WE AL-WAYS WILL!Kyubey: Surely such a form must have caused problems.Sec: OB-STA-CLES ONLY MADE US WORK HAR-DER TO O-VER-COME THEM! AND THAT IS WHY WE AL-WAYS PRE-VAILED, EVEN WHEN LO-GIC DIC-TA-TED THAT WE SHOULD FAIL, WE SUC-CEDED! WHEN O-THER RA-CES THOUGHT THEY COULD RI-DI-CULE US, WE SHOWED THEM BET-TER! WHEN THEY THOUGHT THEY COULD DO-MIN-ATE US, WE AN-HI-LA-TED THEM! WHEN THEY THOUGHT THEY COULD CON-TAIN US, WE CON-QUER-ED AND DE-STROY-ED!! E-MO-TIONS GAVE US STRENGTH!! OUR HA-TE DROVE US FOR-WARD! OUR AN-GER GAVE PO-WER TO OUR BLOWS! OUR PRI-DE KEPT US FROM BEI-NG CRU-SHED! OUR HA-TRED KEPT US A-LIVE!! I COME FROM A PLACE WHERE GODS ROAM A-MONGST THE STARS, WHERE THERE ARE BEINGS THAT COULD E-RASE ALL OF RE-AL-ITY WITH BUT A ME-RE THOUGHT, THAT COULD BEND TI-ME TO THEIR WILL AND FREE YOU FROM HAVING EVER BEING BORN!! YET, NO MAT-TER HOW PO-WER-FUL THEY ARE, THEY ALL FE-AR THE SAME THING.Kyubey: You?Sec: NOT ME. A WO-RD; IT IS A WO-RD THAT CAU-SES SUCH FE-AR, THAT E-VEN THE LORDS OF TI-ME ARE SENT TO THEIR KNE-ES.Kyubey: And what word is that?Sec: *Powering up weapon systems* EX-TER-MINATE!!!
- Sec delivers another epic one in the his chapter of The Conversion Bureau - Wrong Universe, telling TCB!Twilight Sparkle exactly how hollow pony superiority is and exactly how wrong the conversion bureau's logic is, before destroying the barrier, which kills Celestia and leaves Equestria open to human counterattack.
Sec (in response to Twilight offering an alliance against humanity): "RE-QUEST DE-NIED."Twilight: "What?"Sec: "I SAID, 'RE-QUEST DE-NIED'". ARE YOU IN-CA-PA-BLE OF PRO-CES-SING STATE-MENTS? I HAVE DONE RE-SEARCH IN-TO E-QUES-TRIA AND ITS CON-VER-SION BU-REAUS, AND THE BEINGS YOU WOR-SHIP AS GODS. THEY DIS-GUST ME. YOU DIS-GUST ME, A CREA-TURE WHO BE-LIEVES IT-SELF SU-PE-RIOR TO O-THERS, WHE-N IT HAS NOT DONE A-NY-THING TO WIN THIS CLA-IM.Twilight: "But-"*is zapped by Sec's gunstick*Sec: "EX-CRU-CI-ATE. HU-MANS ARE THE SU-PREME SPE-CIES ON THEIR PLA-NET BE-CAUSE THEY DID E-VE-RY-THING IN THEIR POW-ER TO EARN THEIR PLACE. THEY HAVE FOUGHT DI-SEA-SES, PRE-DA-TORS, THE WEA-THER, AND THEM-SELVES, AND THEY BE-CAME STRONGER FOR IT. ON A WORLD WHERE E-VERY-THING WAS SET TO EX-TER-MI-NATE THEM, THEY TRI-UMPH-ED. THE AN-CES-TORS OF ONE HU-MAN A-LONE HA-VE DO-NE MORE THAN ALL OF E-QUES-TRIA COM-BINED. THEY ARE A SPE-CI-ES WOR-THY OF SUR-VI-VAL, AND OF CLAIM-ING THE STA-RS."Sec: "YOU! YOU HAVE DONE NONE OF THOSE THINGS! YOU NE-VER HAD TO FIGHT FOR YOUR OWN SUR-VI-VAL, YOU NE-VER HAD TO WATCH ALL YOU HA-VE BUI-LT BE DES-TROY-ED BY DIS-AS-TER, YOU NE-VER HAD TO COM-PETE FOR RE-SOUR-CES. YOU HA-VE BE-EN COD-DLED BY BE-INGS THAT YOUR KIND CON-SI-DER DEI-TIES, AND IT HA-S MA-DE YOU WEAK! YOU ARE LIT-TLE MORE THAN A SLAVE, A MIND-LESS DRONE SE-NT TO EX-E-CUTE ITS MAS-TER'S COMMAND. AN OB-SO-LETE PA-RA-SITE THAT NA-TURE SHOULD HAVE EX-TER-MI-NAT-ED LONG AGO, NO-THING MORE! YOU ARE AN IN-FE-RIOR BEING, AND HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE A-NY-THING!Twilight: "You... this... What you have done is an act of war!"Sec: "WAR!? THIS IS NOT WAR, THIS IS NOT EVEN PEST CONTROL."
- As one reviewer noted, if a freaking Dalek gives you a Reason You Suck speech and it makes sense, you know you really suck.
- In Erins Total Magical Adventure:
"Even though Miyuki Hishizora has faults, they have their nice parts. While you...your faults make you one of the worst people I know. You blame everyone but yourself, you expect everyone to bend their tails backwards for you, and if you don't get your way, you throw a tantrum while threatening people with lawsuits. Well, Erin-sempai, SG, myself and a few other are princesses, yet we don't threaten others with exucetion just because we didn't get into a contest! [...] And your supposed to be a CIT, which is a good example for young people, yet I don't see anything good about your way! In fact, if I had to choose between you and Heather to babysit my sisters, I would pick Heather because she has some good in her, as she was able to get herself a boyfriend, while you drive yours away! You're not a TV star that would be remebered in a good way, heck, even Mal will be more loved then you were! You're nothing but a spoiled brat who will just be alone in her life if you don't fix your attitude!![...] And one last thing. What I said is merciful compared to what Ragna would had done if he had heard you insult Miyuki like that."
- Amanda delivers one to Courtney when she made Miyuki cry by insulting her love for fairy tales in ETMA Aftermath: Jocks and Princesses:
- To Kill A Thief has Light saying one to Miyako for her attempts in trying to catch Jeanne without knowing it's Maron.
Light: All those people fighting for justice, they lose. You want a world where people like that are made to be fools? Look at yourself, Miyako. You just made yourself a fool. Unlike you, who constantly denied her best friend is a thief because of the similarities, I immediately knew she's the thief we've been hunting down because of the similarities. You are a useless detective, Miyako. Do you hear me? Useless! Useless because you refused to believe your best friend is the thief we've been hunting down. If you want to be useful, kill the others! Shoot them! Shoot Maron and Chiaki!
- In Sonic Generations: Friendship is Timeless, Eggman calls out the rest of the Mane 6 for their refusal to trust Twilight in the past, even managing to completely break Princess Celestia by calling her out for treating Twilight as a tool for using the Elements.
Dr. Eggman: Stop. Just stop right there, Celestia. You've embarrassed yourself enough. I let you speak because I was willing to give you a chance to prove me wrong about your relationship with Twilight, but you've done nothing but disappoint me! You haven't told me anything I don't already know, and you clearly can't take a bone when it's thrown at you! Why do you hardly ever see her on your own time anymore? Why does your faith in her seem to be off and on? Why can't you just be open with her? Because you image is more important than anything you care about?! If you do care about her, Celestia, you have a funny way of showing it. You still think that, despite everything, you and Twilight share something special? I believe you had some good words of wisdom for this kind of situation. How did they go again? Oh yes, I remember: You have a lot to think about.Dr. Eggman: Oh, shut up! Don’t embarrass yourself the way Celestia did! Hang on to whatever dignity you have, you pathetic excuse for an intelligent being! You gave Twilight some minor comfort, yes, but it’s meaningless when you consider that, whenever one of you does something, she’s often there to comfort you and you can’t return the favor! Like the friendship report incident. When all was said and done, it was out of sight, out of mind. Just like with the whole time travel loop. After all, it’s Past Twilight’s problem, isn’t it, Pinkie Pie? And of course, her brother’s wedding. You think you can ignore what your decision to not trust Twilight could have led to after it was over and the problem and everything associated with it will go away, just like that? Well, get a load of THIS, ponies- it doesn’t work that way!
- In Child of the Storm, Thor, of all people, gives one to Snape in a way that reminds that he really is Loki's brother.
Thor/James: It must just kill you to see Lily’s eyes staring out of my face, mustn’t it. She was your friend. I think you loved her, which is why you hate him all the more, seeing a living reminder that when it came down to it, she chose me. Not you. Me.
I see your soul, Lady Hera. It’s not a very nice sight. All dark and twisted. See? *he/The Phoenix shows Hera her true self* I know you, Hera Argeia. I know what you are. You think you’re special, but you really aren’t. There are uncounted billions like you all through the universe. I’ve seen your kind at close quarters. And none of you are that complicated. The only difference is that you have just a bit more power than most. You’re upset and you just want to lash out. You want to make other people suffer because, just for a moment, it distracts you from your own pain. And you don’t care what happens when you do. You don’t care when parents lose children, children lose parents, sisters lose brothers and brothers lose sisters. No. In your mind, you’re the only person that matters. Or you were. I’ve shown you how much you don’t matter. You turned your own children into your pawn, the agents of your vengeance. You never paid them attention for very long. You loved them, but only so long as they did want you wanted, they were who you wanted them to be. And that’s not love. Queen? Goddess? Mother? You’re not even fit to be a person. And now you know it.
- For context, Thor was previously incarnated as James Potter and he now has those memories back.
- When Hera obliquely threatens Harry an entity heavily implied to be the Phoenix and/or his mother briefly possesses him to deliver a vicious speech.
M: I knew your parents, you know.Petunia: You did?M: Yes, if only in a professional capacity. But from what I did know of them, I can state this with confidence: they would be utterly ashamed of you. Good day to you.
- M gives a brief one to an utterly broken Petunia after interrogating her about something in Harry's past.
- In the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic/Transformers Generation 1 crossover The Transformers My Little Pony Crossover 2, Discord attempts to harass Galvatron, Cyclonus, and Scourge, boasting about how he is the Spirit of Chaos. Galvatron shows Discord his memories of Unicron (scaring the crap out of him in the process) and proceeds to dismantle him.
[A flash of light blinded Discord, and he found himself back in the Canterlot throne room. He was on his knees and hands, hyperventilating, shaking. He looked up. Galvatron, Cyclonus, and Scourge were glaring down at him.]Discord: W- what… was that?Galvatron: That, was Unicron. He is the true Chaos Bringer. He has devoured countless worlds, killed trillions of lives, and is among the most powerful beings in existence.Discord: But what about me?! I'm the Spir-Galvatron: You are nothing but a clown![Discord flinched.]Galvatron: Do you hear me? You are nothing but a sad, pathetic, clown. A bad joke.Discord: B- but I-Galvatron: You know nothing of chaos. And do you know why? Because you are not chaos. You saw my memories. That was true chaos. Your little tricks? Pathetic.[Discord felt something within himself begin to change, as if his whole purpose in life had been suddenly extinguished. He did not realize it, but the color of his body changed from its usual bright pigments- to a dull grey.]Galvatron: And now, you will die for wasting my time.
- Working Together has Valmont accusing Rika of being arrogant and deceitful as Shendu.
Valmont: I can give out some examples of you being arrogant as Shendu, but they are too much so I'll give out an example what makes you deceitful as Shendu. You said you cared for Renamon, but what about the part where you said you don't need her? If you don't call that deceitful, I don't know what is. Oh, and you're traitorous as him. You betrayed the trust of your own mother and grandmother by not telling them about your Digimon adventures just like how Shendu has betrayed his demonic brothers and sisters by ignoring their release when he's first released from his stone imprisonment. Before you know it, you betrayed Renamon by saying you didn't need her. Well, that's just kind of like how he did betrayed me when I blindly trusted him too much of giving me the treasure of Qin Shi Huang in exchange for all 12 talismans to restore him to his true form. What else is that you have betrayed Takato and Henry by saying you hate Digimon. Shendu once again betrayed his brothers and sisters by lying to them that he can get them all out of his portal when only one being can enter it to the real world. So, tell me, Rika, does that make you arrogant and deceitful as Shendu?
- This two-part fanmade Death Battle between Freddy Krueger and The Joker has both participants giving each other RYSS's at the climax of their fight:
Freddy (after using the Dream World to remove the Joker's insanity, reducing him to a normal sane person): Hehehe...what's wrong, Jack? Don't like your new look? I figured you needed a look that would blow your mind. Well, mind-blown yet?
"Jack": What...what did you do to me?
Freddy: You want to know what I did? Let's just say I'm a man who feeds off of fear. And I got to admit, you were a tough one to break. Someone off their rocker isn't going to be scared of anything, right? Well, wrong. Even crazy people are scared of something and you...hehe...you I got figured out. (stabs "Jack" in the leg as he attempts to flee) As I was saying, it took me a while, but I got you figured out. You're scared of being normal. You saw what a fucked up world we live in and decided it was better to be crazy, right? Because when you're crazy, the whole world begins to make sense and you can just ignore all the horrible things you wanted to forget. That's why you went nuts, right? The bills, your wife, your job? You wanted to never remember all that and you decided to go crazy to escape all that. Got to admit it's a great philosophy but... (slashes "Jack" across the cheeks, leaving a smile-like scar across his face) but life's gonna hit you hard. Now it's time for you to get a good taste of how much life isn't fair and how it's only going to get worse from here on out, bitch.
Joker: So, you're probably thinking to yourself, 'Oh, woe is me! How could this happen to me? Why did it have to be me who gets to be the plaything of this man'! Well, here's the reason: you decided to fight me, The Joker. And let me tell you, Frederick, that was both a bold move and a stupid one. You see, I saw your memories when you peeked into mine and I know you well enough. And I know for one thing you're nothing but a choir boy compared to me. So you killed all the children in ONE town? I've killed more kids than you ever had. Men, women, children, even a few animals! So you keep coming back from the dead even after these kids kill you. I keep coming back from the mouth of Hell every other week and quite frankly, it gets boring after the first six times. So you fought a hockey zombie and became a god with a book? Big whoop! I became God once too and got bored with it! I looked straight into the eyes of a god of death who casually destroys planets and I just laughed right in his face. For all your accomplishments, Mr. Krueger, in the end, you're nothing more than a small fry. A little fish who wants to be a big fish without realizing that there are sharks all around him. It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic.
- This turns out to backfire horribly on Freddy as having his insanity removed allows the now-rational Joker to realize that it's All Just a Dream, allowing him to pull himself and Freddy back to the Real World where Joker delivers a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown of Freddy in revenge for his previous humiliation and gives a RYSS of his own before infecting Freddy with Joker venom to finish him off:
- In Horseshoes and Hand Grenades, Yuki gives this to Yukina as to how Yukina falsely accuses of Yuki being Gentaro's death, along with Yukina wanting to be with Gentaro more than anyone else.
Yuki: "Gen-chan died protecting people from a tyrant who treated his fellow classmates and teachers like puppets, putting them into a slumber because he could do so! Gen-chan died protecting his friends from a heartless monster, and I'm not the cause of his death! If you knew so much about my best friend, maybe you should learn how to be nice to your fellow students before you start making stupid accusations! I won't let you insult my friendship with Gen-chan nor will I let you get away with soiling his good name, Yukina! You will never gain his hand in friendship the way you're acting!"
- In Equestrylvania, villain Dirt Nap throws a Then Let Me Be Evil speech to Twilight Sparkle as justification for allying himself with Dracula. Twilight Sparkle's retort is one of these, which undercuts/deconstructs his motiviation to the point where even the Fire Demon bound to Dirt Nap's soul starts laughing at how pathetic he is.
Dirt Nap: "Isn't that the eternal question? Why? Why does anything happen, really? Why am I doing all this, you ask? Well, why did ponies always treat me like a monster? Why did ponies mistreat me? Why was I given... Why was I given this?! All because I have a talent nopony else has the stomach for, I am treated differently. I am treated as less. Tell me, Celestia's prized student, why your precious friendship was never mine to have!"Twilight Sparkle: "Because you were never a good pony."Dirt Nap: "What?!"Twilight Sparkle: "You never stopped to say hello, you never went out of your way to help anypony. You never acted friendly towards anypony. You did your job, but you never helped yourself, and you never helped anypony else in any way. That's why you don't have friends, Dirt Nap."
- In the Star Wars / Buffy the Vampire Slayer fic "Force of a Slayer", Buffy pointedly and carefully notes to Yoda and Ben Kenobi each and every single way in which the Jedi Council not only did nothing to stop Anakin Skywalker's descent into darkness, but actively encouraged it, starting with "that ridiculous rule about no attachments" because, in her words, "a single person can be strong, but a single person backed up by their friends and family is so much stronger."
- The story A Man Of Iron has this exchange between Antony Stark and his cousin Eddard Stark, regarding Tony's earlier comments to Catelyn about her treatment of Jon:
Ned: You question things you don't understand and involve yourself with issues that are none of your concern. You have no right to come into my home and talk as you do.Tony: Someone heard about my little chat with Catelyn.Ned: Aye. She informed me. It is only because you are family and the King was there that you aren't in a cell right now. What gives you the right to talk to her like that?Tony: Nothing. I had no right to speak to her that way. I should never have said those words. You should have said them. You... you think you are so noble, taking him in and caring for him, but you're not. You made a mistake and let your lust get the best of you and took responsibility for that and I get it... I get it! That's all well and good! But, and this is the key here, it is not noble in the slightest to stand back and let others like your wife blame that boy for your sins. And just to be clear, they are your sins. Not Jon's. He didn't choose to be born. He didn't choose to come to Winterfell. He didn't choose your brother's almost-wife made be made yours, leaving you trapped with a woman you hardly knew before riding off the face the greatest dynasty the Seven Kingdoms ever knew. He didn't choose to be a reminder to Cat of you breaking your vows. You chose all that and you chose to wipe your hands of him while that woman went on her petty campaign to make him miserable to the point that he thought the only way he could find peace was to become a celibate solider freezing his balls off on an ice wall keeping watch for non-existent boogeymen! So don't stand there and act like you are better than me, cousin.Ned: I.. have made mistakes. I have not been able to give all that Jon deserved. I did the best that I could though and it was better than most. That is not an excuse though. To do some but not all does not absolve me of my failings. I understand that, better than you can imagine. But you of all people can't act self-righteous. You are an arrogant, petty, narcissistic man that cares nothing for honor or valor. You are a merchant of death who makes his coin on the suffering of others. How many lives were ended by your swords? How many innocents were killed by your arrows? You hide in your castle and build gaudy swords and look down upon the rest of us for believing in something while ignoring your own faults and using jests to hide your blood-soaked hands. You hold nothing sacred and believe in nothing greater than yourself. Well, I'd rather believe in something than be you.
- Necessary To Win.
Kana: "Hello, Ceylon-sama. I'd just like to let you know that St. Gloriana won't be the same once you're gone."Ceylon: "Ikeda-san, I am not ignorant of your enmity toward me, nor am I blind to that of others. But I had thought that people like you would have made your feelings more obvious at the time of my departure."Kana: "The thought occurred to me, Ceylon. But, as you said, it's almost over; I'm here mainly for your successor, not to take a parting shot at you. You're not worth it."
- Defied when Kana meets with Ceylon during her farewell party a year ago. Ceylon, having alienated the entire team as a result of her leadership, wonders why Kana, who particularly disliked her, is not as hostile. Of course, Kana's answer has a similar effect.
Teru: "History repeats itself, doesn't it? Again, you get into trouble, and again, someone has to bail you out of it. Who paid the price for your inability to save yourself this time?"Saki: "I...I don't understand, Onee-chan. You've been angry with me ever since... Mizuho went away."Teru: "Mizuho is DEAD, Saki! Dead because of YOU!"Saki: "I... I had no idea."Teru: "Of course you didn't! You want us to turn back the clock, back to the days when we pretended we were one happy family, Saki? How could we when one of us is gone and won't ever come back? When you act as though she was never part of our family to begin with?"
- When Teru confronts Saki after Saki's tank stalled in the river, she gives Saki a brutal one that reveals the cause of the rift between them..
Masae: "My opposition to threatening Miho with being disowned should she lose goes beyond tankery ideology. As a sister, I cannot condone separating Miho and Maho that way. As a mother, I would not even consider casting out my children over something like tankery. And as the wife of a man who was cast out of his own family, I know what it means for a child to be disowned. And I know the truly difficult choices are. My husband made a difficult decision when he chose the woman he loved over his parents, whom he loved as well. Maho made a difficult decision when she committed herself to become Nishizumi heiress so her sister could live freely. Miho made a difficult decision when she saved a tank, knowing that she would bear the blame of her team being defeated. Disowning one's child over a personal disagreement is not a difficult decision- how dare you try to characterize it as such!"
- Near the start of Necessary to Win: Paths Toward Victory, Masae gives one to Shiho regarding her considering disowning Miho, and claiming that it was one of many "difficult decisions that are necessary to win."
- In the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha/Sailor Moon crossover White Devil of the Moon, Nanoha tears Queen Serenity a new one when her memories of her past as Princess Serenity come flooding back and she realizes how immature she was, putting the blame on the Queen for this attitude and the fact that it helped doomed the Silver Millennium in the process.
- The Infinite Loops: The MLP Loops has a veiled speech from Rainbow Dash, to her would-be idol Spitfire, over her hypocritical actions in Rainbow Falls.
Rainbow Dash: Abandon my team? Have you been flying too high? Element of Loyalty here! As if I would ever... oh, heh heh, good one. This is one of those 'secret test of character things' isn't it? I mean, there's no way Spitfire, leader of the Wonderbolts, epitome of everything a pegasus aspires to be would make such an offer for real. You'd be abandoning one of your own team-mates like a used cloud and wrecking the chances of another team just to marginally improve the chances of what's already a pretty sure thing.
I mean, you had me going there for a minute, but after what you said to me at the Wonderbolt Academy about 'pushing yourself in the right direction', that beating everyone no matter who got hurt and winning at all costs was not the Wonderbolt way, you'd have to be a massive hypocrite to then turn around and do exactly that. And pulling it on me of all ponies, the Element of Loyalty? You'd have to be... what was the thing Twilight was saying yesterday before she'd had her coffee? 'displaying a level of ineptitude that borders on the imbecilic.' Yeah, that was it.
Not even a brain-damaged Diamond Dog would pull such a stupid stunt, let alone someone like you. Don't worry, I won't let you down, or my own team. I will continue to uphold the ideals of the Wonderbolts, even if I'm flying against you guys. Cloudberries, I can't believe I ever thought for a moment that you'd try such a despicable tactic! I must be the one flying too high! Anyway, gotta go! I hope we can train together, after all, you guys push me further than I could go alone, and anything that makes me better helps my team. See ya!
- In the Frozen/The Hobbit crossover Fire and Ice, Hans attempts to propose a team-up with the recently-liberated Smaug in order to take revenge on Anna and Elsa. Smaug shows him his memories of his initial attack on Arendelle(scaring the crap out of him in the process) and proceeds to dismantle him.
[A flash of light blinded Hans, and he found himself back in the ice cave. He was on his hands and knees, hyperventilating, shaking. He looked up. Smaug was glaring down at him.]Hans: W- what… was that, that... monster?Smaug: That "monster" was me. Centuries ago, I ruled this land. I have destroyed countless kingdoms, killed armies...Hans (trying to regain his composure): Well, that's another thing we have in common. We both had Arendelle and lost it.Smaug: We have nothing in common. You never had Arendelle. You lost it, without even having it in the first place. You are nothing but a failure![Hans flinched.]Smaug: Do you hear me? You are nothing but a sad, pathetic, failure. A bad joke.Hans: B- but I-Smaug: You know nothing of evil. And do you know why? Because you are not evil. You saw my memories. That was true evil. Your little power play? Pathetic.[Hans looked at the dragon, dazed, and felt something within himself, as if his whole purpose in life had been suddenly extinguished.]Smaug: And now, you will die for wasting my time.
- In the fanfic Super Sentai Vs Power Rangers The Liveblog, among the many moments where she would call them out on their actions in the fanfic she's covering, Rika tears a new one to the entire USSPRA when Natsuki and Eri are dragged into the Detention Center and sent to the rock piles as punishment.
Rika: OUR FUCKING HEROES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!
No. Seriously. I've tolerated the USSPRA's bullshit for so long. So long. Gushing about Cole? Annoying as hell, but I managed to push through. Lovey-dovey shit? Also annoying, but I try to tune it out unless if it's really something worth mentioning. But this? THIS?!? This is the last straw. This is not what Super Sentai and Power Rangers even represent here.
In fact? I don't really want to consider these guys heroes anymore. No! From now on, from this fucking day forward, they're Designated Heroes. And all those moments are why. You can't really root for them, especially with shit like this, and trust me on this one, it does get a hell of a lot worse!
You know what I do see when I read this? I see a gigantic group of jackasses, with the exception of a rare few, who only care about themselves (or Cole), never any fellow humankind. Who flip out when things don't go their way. Who do shit that goes completely against their canon characterizations! USSPRA...(in a completely inhuman shriek)...you will never be true Power Rangers or Sentai Warriors!
Rika: "I mean…I’m not against interracial couplings. Not no way, not no how, I certainly won’t shoot the message. I’m absolutely livid over Akizuki…using this as his mouthpiece over some crushes that happen to be American. Or any other race. Oh, yes, I damn well went there.
- Rika gives another speech in the sequel, Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers II. This time, it's directed to Sean Akizuki himself after Power Rangers Sword Dynasty displays an attempt of multicultural unity that falls flat.
"And not only that, but there’s the huge elephant in the room that is the blatant-as-fucking-hell racism. For someone who champions against it–a noble deed, sure–he’s no better. The overuse of “Orientals” for “Asians”, not just in the fic, but his usage all the time. Some characters mentioning their race in a not-so-positive way (Zach saying that he’s dark, and that’s why he’s good at infiltrating, anybody?). And while the “blackie” thing was all Chris X’s writing(...), I don’t doubt that Akizuki probably would do the same thing.
"Lastly…Li’s an Author Avatar for Akizuki. Only Chinese. Marianne’s fantasy casting is Emma Roberts. There have been countless times where the two aren’t lovey-dovey, and yet, it’s shoved down our throats many a time. And do you know what the most frightening part is? We know that Akizuki can do a lot worse with his crushes. Like…Kimberly getting raped at the hands of Akizukiguet. The treatment of Marianne’s just as bad, because it’s really forcing a woman into a relationship that’s just going to be, in reality, loveless. With a man who wouldn’t really change his ways.
"Akizuki…if you’re reading this, you either need to see a shrink or go to a mental hospital. I fucking dare you to respond to all this and face the truth: that you’re a delusional hypocrite, you fail completely at even the basics of storytelling, and you’re a sick fuck for perving over the actresses and having them do bad things without a single apology. Do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU FUCKING FUCK–"
- In the Danny Phantom / Beetlejuice fanfiction, Say It Thrice, Lydia delivers one to the Fenton parents on their treatment and views concerning ghosts. And while they can easily write off her more emotional arguments as being the result of misplaced sympathy, they pay closer attention when she points out just making assumptions rather than using the scientific method to determine whether ghosts could be considered people is bad scientific practices.
Lydia:I understand some of the ghosts are dangerous. Honestly, I do. And I know they sometimes have to be stopped from hurting someone. But that doesn't mean you should treat them like unfeeling object. You can't just hurt them, experiment on them, torture them, or destroy them simply because you want to see if you can. There are laws to keep people from doing that to animals. Why do you think its right to do it to ghosts?Maddie: I know Sam is involved in those environmental causes and I'm guessing you might be too. And I know you probably didn't deal with ghosts before you came to Amity Park, but they aren't really like people or animals. They don't have cells or other recognizable biological processes.Lydia: Of course not. They're ghosts. Why should they be exactly the same? The ones you deal with come from another dimension. It would be stranger if everything was the same. But just because they're ghosts doesn't mean they aren't people too.Jack: That's a common misconception. They aren't the souls of the dearly departed coming back to haunt us.Lydia: Well, maybe not all of them.Jack: They are ectoplasmic manifestation that sometimes resembles post-human consciousness. They only look like people occasionally.Lydia: So just because they're made of ectoplasm instead of normal DNA or something and because you don't think they came from dead humans, that makes it okay? That makes it right to treat them like… like a model car you bought from the store that you want to smash with a hammer? Or a lifeless mannequin? Or like a bunch of mold samples under a microscope? No, it isn't right.Maddie: I know this upsets you for some reason. But you have to look at this more like a scientist. You can't let get emotional and start anthropomorphizing them. Look at them objectively.Lydia: So ignore the fact that they provide clear demonstrations of emotions, pain responses, critical thinking skills, complicated thought processes, desires, motivations, and self-awareness? Fine. My grades in science aren't the greatest, but that's more because I didn't want to dissect a frog than because I didn't study. Let's ignore all that evidence that supports the idea that ghosts are sentient beings. Your hypothesis is apparently that ghosts aren't really sentient and deserve to be treated like inanimate objects. If I remember my scientific method correctly, that means you must have tested this hypothesis in a reasonable, repeatable experiment. You did test that hypothesis before your attempts to rip them apart, right?Lydia: You didn't. You just assumed. Other scientists go around testing the intelligence and self-awareness of dolphins, chimps, and even ravens to find out how similar they are to people. They don't assume they couldn't have emotions and have critical thinking just because they live in the ocean, are covered in fur, or have wings. They study and test it in a humane method. But you ignore the possibility just because they're from somewhere else. They talk, think, and display clear emotions, but you ignore it. And then you base all your other experiments and theories and hypothesis off of that basic assumption. That means all your data could be flawed because you have an unproven and possibly incorrect assumption. That's not just cruel and heartless. That's bad science. I can't help wondering how you determined that ghosts aren't dead people. Did you test that too or did you automatically assume it too?
- In The (Questionable) Burdens of Leadership of a Troll Emperor, Xanna gives one to a religious fanatic after he tries to assassinate her for conquering Africa. She tells him how the religious attempting to kill her will only paint them as fools who believe faith to be more important than prosperity given that she's vastly increased the quality of life in the region. All they'll do is give her all the excuses she needs to do anything she wants and in the end, she'll be worshiped as Earth's new god while theirs is forgotten like the thousands who came before it.
- In the Super Danganronpa 2 fanfic System Restore, Togami, who avoided being murdered at the party, gives this speech to the second murderer, in response to her trying to compare her actions with Togami's attempt to sacrifice his life to stop the first murder.
Togami: “You – that – Komaeda manipulated Hanamura into killing him! Did you think I wanted Hanamura to do that? Did you think I ever wanted that to happen again? You weren’t manipulated. You killed Pekoyama by your own volition for fully selfish reasons. How dare you compare yourself to him! I trusted you. I thought you, of all people, could be reasonable. I can’t even comprehend you trying to justify your actions like this. You can’t. You won’t. You’ve done nothing but play into Monobear’s hands!”
- In the Facing The Future Series, the heroes have given out these to the villains of said stories:
Undergrowth: "YOU (Sam)?! OF ALL THE CREATURES IN THIS WORLD?! YOU WOULD SIDE WITH THIS VILE SPECIES OVER THE WILL OF NATURE?!"Sam: "Oh don't get me wrong. I'm ALWAYS about nature. But you know, FIRE has a natural purpose too. It's nature's way of telling plants that every once in a while, they need to BACK OFF!! You know, I could go through a whole laundry list of things people do to this planet that I can't stand. And I could yell and scream and rant and rave until my lungs collapsed," she added, flitting around his head like a buzzing insect, "But for all the legitimate complaining we could do, did you ever stop to think that you're no bargain, either? All you want to do is take, take, take without caring about anything else that lives here. So you'll forgive me if I don't see any REAL difference between you and them. Besides, I can honestly say I'm a LOT closer to some of the people here than I could EVER be to YOU.Sorry pal…but if I have to honestly choose between you and them…then that's REALLY no choice at all."
- In Trial By Fire, Sam gave one to Undergrowth, saying he's no better than humanity as he doesn't care about any living thing on earth besides himself
Walker: "Destruction of prison property is AGAINST THE RULES!"Danny: "Rules? RULES? What do YOU care about rules? You break your precious 'rules' whenever it's convenient. Why don't you just admit it? All rules are to you is an excuse to try and control everyone! YOU'RE THE BIGGEST HYPOCRITE I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE!"
- In A Family Thing, Maddie finds out that Vlad tried to clone Danny, and blows up at him, and then delivered one to Vlad on how he doesn't love, just wants, and that's why he is became a pariah, and why can never be happy, nor she could ever fall in love with him.
(Maddie learns about Vlad's cloning)Maddie: WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU!?Vlad:"Oh, Maddie, please don't say that. After all, you and Danny…the perfect family I could never have…Would you really condemn a man the foolish things he does…for love?"Maddie: "Oh, why don't you just stop already?! You don't 'love', Vlad! You've NEVER 'loved'! All you've ever done your entire life is WANT things!You know something Vlad, you can't look me in the eye and honestly tell me that your life has been all that terrible! It just wasn't ENOUGH for you! You could take away everything that ever meant anything to anyone, and the rest of the world besides, and it STILL wouldn't be enough for you! Never enough MONEY! Never enough ATTENTION! Never enough…EVERYTHING!I fell in love with a man who has always been able to think about MORE than just himself. And I don't care how powerful or how smart or how perfect you THINK you are…That man is never…ever…EVER…going to be you."
- Vlad actually admits she's right, but brushes it off to carry out his Evil Plan.
- In Laws of Attraction, after Danny delivered one to Walker about how he's the biggest hypocrite he ever met because he likes to make rules then breaks them, after Walker attacks Maddie .
Clockwork: "Do you really have any idea what you would even DO with my power?"Vlad: "Oh, I'm pretty sure I could think of something," Vlad replied confidently, "Being the undisputed ruler of all time has a nice ring to it. Along with the added bonus of being able to rewrite history any way I wish to make me ruler of both the Earth AND the Ghost Zone? I like the sound of THAT even more."Clockwork: "Still refusing to look at the big picture. Of course, how CAN you when you can't even see past your own nose?" Vortex…the Infi-Map…Pariah Dark. Time and again, you've tried to seize control of powers beyond your meager understanding and time and again, you've met with failure. And now you come into my domain with all the forethought of a teenager looking to steal a car for a joyride and brazenly declare that you will take MY power from ME? It would seem that Danny Fenton is quite correct when he calls you…what is that term again? A 'fruit loop'?"
- Clockwork himself delivers one to Vlad when he comes to try and steal the power over time, insulting him about how he has sought power beyond his comprehension only for it to backfire on him. Vlad tries to attack him anyways, so Clockwork beats him down.
- In Chapter Three of the novel-length Daria Fan Fic Its All About Respect, Sandi Griffin delivers a blistering Colony Drop version of one of these to Daria, in front of a lunch-room crowd:
Sandi: "I don't even know why I'm even wasting my time or theirs talking about or to you. You don't care about anything or anyone here — you wouldn't lose a moment's sleep if anyone or everyone else were wiped out, would you? To you, it really wouldn't matter if this were a class project, a video game or real life - even if all these people that you know were to get wiped out, would it? You don't care about people getting hurt or dying — I'm certain you didn't lose sleep over Tommy Sherman —"Daria: "You have no right to say that about me."Sandi: "I have every right to say it. You make fun of all of us. You think we're idiots, running around doing nothing of any real worth, just acting stupid and wasting time until we're dead while YOU cage yourself up in the dark in libraries and such, doing your living by reading constantly about the people who had the guts to do what you won't — which is go out and LIVE! You make fun of people like Kevin, and Brittany, and Charles. You make fun of things like the 'Lowdown', the Fashion Club and the football team, and people like Andrea — hell people like Mack and ME are afraid that someday, you'll notice them and start chopping away at them, hurting their feelings because you don't want to feel good yourself and don't want to know why! You treat us like idiots! Yes, we're not all as smart as you — and by the way, even though we ARE the idiots, we still outnumber you - and if we wanted, we could stampede over you. But do you know why we don't? Because we don't NOTICE you. You see — we're having fun. We're out doing things. We fight among ourselves, we do stupid things, we make others notice us, but above everything else we're living. We're alive - and whether we're in pain, or happy or getting screwed by the system, we're gonna keep going — but YOU! You're a black hole for happiness — you're world-class buzzkill! It's kind of like what Billy Thomas said on 'Ally McBeal' — 'Life is wasted on you, Daria! Life is wasted on you because you'll never enjoy it!' You're worse than a 'misery chick' — you're Sally Field in 'Soapdish!' No matter how many chances you get for happiness, you'll just screw them up because you are the Queen — of — MISERY!"
- Jane gives Daria the OTHER barrel of the coach gun moments later with an equally harsh speech — and then, in Chapter Five, Daria herself gives one of these to Trent Lane:
Trent: "Daria, I'm not trying to —"Daria: "You're not doing ANYTHING with, to or for me — there are better-looking ways to get an STD, and you've probably never heard of antibiotics. What, piss-poor lyrics make you dumb AND deaf? Let me make it simple, so even a non-guitar playing bag of skin, bones and smell like you can understand without you needing your wannabe psychic earth-mother floating around on bong smoke to translate: GET — AWAY — FROM — ME. GO — THE — HELL — AWAY. FUCK — OFF!" (pauses) "So you are capable of learning. I guess that empty look in your eyes is just for decoration — well, something about you should be physically appealing to someone someday. Study up on '2+ 2' — maybe you'll SOMEDAY be able to swing that job collecting tolls on the Jersey Turnpike. It's your kind of career, Trent: money, respect AND intellectual development. Maybe you'll pull down a Nobel Prize for your fundamental breakthroughs in counting loose change." (Trent steps away.) "Smart call, two-ply. Now practice playing the scales — it'll help you pass the time in the Public Aid Office while you wait for your appointment to get food stamps. Better yet, close your eyes while you're there and count all the fans you'll have when you make it — my God, are you done already?"Jesse: "Daria, c'mon —"Daria: "Are YOU trying to develop the concept of speech and evolve?" (shoves something down Jesse's pants) "Here's a twenty; go buy a haircut, a shirt and a vasectomy. That way — you'll be the perfect man."
- Jane gives Daria the OTHER barrel of the coach gun moments later with an equally harsh speech — and then, in Chapter Five, Daria herself gives one of these to Trent Lane:
- In Chapter 16 of God Save The Esteem, appropriately titled Wedding Hell, Erin (Daria's cousin) unloads on all and sundry with a screamer at her own wedding:
Erin: "Don't you even think about telling me off for making a scene, maybe if I did it more often I wouldn't be standing in the shit like this! As pathetic as Aunt Helen and her fucking coven are, at least they don't let someone box them into a fucking box for their own image! This wedding, this fucking wedding... this is all, all mirrors and smoke, you just want it to look good so you can pretend you wanted me to get married! And oh yes, Brian is fucking worthless but that never bothered you about Paul or Bruno or any other of the other troglodytes you keep dragging round the house every four months and forcing me to play stepdaughter to! And you wonder why I left home the damn instant I was laid off from work and had an excuse to move? Any wonder I stick with my troglodyte after watching you piss it up every third of the year? Don't you ever think it, Daddy! I haven't seen you in years and so what if you can't stand Mother you could work something out, but you don't! And Aunt Amy! Brilliant damn advice, brilliant, you sure know about horrible shitty relationships only you forgot to give me anything more practical, like what happens if my boss is such a creepy pushy bastard he follows me? YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I'VE BEEN HAVING SEX WITH MY BOSS ANDREW LANDON WE DID IT TWO MINUTES AGO! Well, that's me fired, I guess, and the wedding off too! Are we having FUN yet? Are we, Hellion Wheels? Is this punk enough for you? Maybe if I was doing this at 3 fucking AM and shoving it down your throat every damn time we met, that'd be punk, right? Christ, and your hellspawn is worse than you, you must have really worked at that! And don't think you're out of it, Daria, you made it clear you knew the marriage was failing and you snarked about it! Snarked about it? What use could you be to anyone? And a big thank you, I MEAN FUCK YOU, to all my friends who had to walk in and decided to snitch about me behind my back, well I'm sure glad I wasted years of my life with you and tried to act all sympathetic with your problems! A total waste! I hate every damn one of you."
- Original villain The Lord gets a pretty good one on Alexander Luthor in the Infinite Crisis fanfic Crisis Point during the Battle Of Metropolis, where the Lord has shown up to try and seize control of Alexander's plan (It Makes Sense in Context). While the scene actually has them going back and forth doing a "You Suck" speech to each other (and Alexander technically wins), the Lord's final response is considerably more epic.
The Lord: (upon being told his power is nothing, especially considering Luthor's insane ally, Superboy-Prime, is both a Physical God and powered by the Lord's weakness, sunlight) And what YOU have is a mad child throwing a temper tantrum, the last vestiges of your control soon to be shaken off. He bleats about how he’s going to be Superman…shuh, what a joke. Superman is at least something to be noticed. Despite all his power, all I can do is laugh at him and his little crybaby antics. He’s pathetic. Just like you....No matter what the world, neither you nor your father can win. At least this world’s Lex Luthor has the common sense to apply his genius to self-gratification. When the wave of white consumed him, what did your father have to show for his efforts? A WEAK LITTLE NOTHING LIKE YOU. Fighting the good fight leads to a false heaven, switching sides the same psychasthenia that so many have found before. He would have been better off putting a toy poodle in that rocket for all the good you’ve done.
- Heroic Example: In the fan-made DCU Shared Universe of JLA Watchtower, Gar Logan gets in a zinger of one against a resurrected Terra. The Gar player at the time had just finished reading Judas Contract and was mad as hell about what Terra put him through.
Terra: Thought you mighta been one of the smart ones. Dick had something to prove. Kory was an airhead. Donna was all 'whatever ya say, Dick.' Tincan was stuck in moping mode. An' let's not go there with Raven. But you mighta been something.Beast Boy: I am! I ditched my lying, deceptive user of a power hungry lunatic, and found someone the complete opposite to share my life with! (laughs) And you were so pathetic, after getting out of your slavery in Hell with a sliver of honor, to fall right back to where you DIED. A worthless shell, used to bribe assassins with, among others no doubt, to con with, and scheme with. And now you tried to con yourself a life. With your ex no less. As a martyr to the Titans yourself, back from the dead honorably, when you really died crushing yourself by accident in the murderous rage you created from your insanity. You're pathetic Markov....See, that's your main trouble. You hate the truth Tara. You love lies. Lies are your best friend. You can shape lies. You can't shape truth. You can adjust lies by adding more lies. Adding a lie to a truth just makes it look worse. And you know what you'll end up dying with Tara? You and your lies. What a life that was. From nothing to something to nothing again. Hope you like this path, because on this planet, on the road you're on, you're screwed. Here lies Lying Manipulator. Died alone.
- Chris Dee's Cat Tales is full of them, most notably one from Clayface impersonating Riddler to Bane in Gotham Rogues:
Riddler: Am I supposed to be impressed?Bane: You should be afraid.Riddler: Of… whom? The coward who had to wear Batman down before taking him on? The soured underpowered coward that—even packing the old venom advantage—needed to break us all out of Arkham to tire Batman out before he could take on a witty-bitty crimefighter half his size? I taunt Batman, you pusillanimous poseur. I say "Come and get me, Big Man." And when he does, I want his best game. That’s how men measure swords, you posing poltroon. Why on earth do you imagine I’d be afraid of a… fraction of a man who had to hide behind my coat once already?Mr. Kittlemeier and I will be leaving now. Word has it you’re not a muscle-bound imbecile. If that’s true, you should be leaving too. Get out of Gotham and never come back. If you don’t… I will break you.
- In All You Need Is Love Light Yagami writes Naomi Misora a letter telling her just how much Raye Penber sucks at being an undercover F.B.I. agent:
Light: Mr. Raye Penber is very annoying and doesn't know when to LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE. I realize it is his job to follow me around like a lost puppy but could he at least put a small amount of effort into not being so bloody noticeable? It's almost embarrassing having to look behind me every day and see him there standing oh so inconspicuously behind me with that newspaper shielding his pasty face. Yes, I can see him behind that newspaper the eyes in my face indicate that I am not blind. Your fiancé should note this fact next time he comes tapping along behind me, which should be any moment now I might add. Here are a few tips I wish to convey to your lover boy, please feel free to tell him for me as I think it's counterproductive for me to tell him. Besides it would just point out how inept he truly is: 1) when following someone try not to walk so loudly and when they stop walking you stop walking 2) when following someone do not literally follow them at every single moment of the day this includes lurking outside their room in the dead of night 3) do not wear the same clothes every day especially when on a high school campus not only are you noticeable you look completely ridiculous 4) when on a bus that is being high-jacked by a man with a gun do not show your victim your ID with your real name, if you have to use a pseudonym it's not unheard of 5) everyone can see you whispering in the back of the bus your voice is louder than you think 6) don't tell your victim what day your shift ends; you never know when they might have been paying attention. 7) when wearing the same clothes every day do not wear a blue trench coat, you want to be mistaken for a drug dealer every time you take a stroll? 8) when glaring at your victim and their date try not to look so completely bored, if you are going for the 'pedophilic-stalker' look be sure to complete it otherwise you look stupid 9) walk at a distance far enough away that your victim can't instantly grasp the fact that he is being stalked 10) try to look like you're doing something besides following your victim people might start to notice. I could go on but I think this should suffice, once again I leave with the statement THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC USELESS BEAU WHO CAN'T EVEN STALK HIS VICTIMS PROPERLY!!! Thank you for your time.
- In A Cure for Love L does this indirectly when he asks Light's help to figure out what a "Loveable Rogue" of a criminal is going to do next and then gives Light his own psych file to read:
"...any therapy would likely further enable his abilities to manipulate others. His intelligence and superficial charm, combined with his pathologic egocentricity and internalised morality, make him a dangerous individual deserving of clinical management and incarceration. He is driven by some, as yet, undefined goal. Kira's targeting of criminals gives a certain mask of sanity and 'goodness' in terms of his reasoning, but, due to his narcissism and deep-rooted antipathy, I doubt that they are exclusively or will remain his true aim of attack. At this point in time I would score him high for the Factor 1 scale of emotional psychopathy on the PCL-R, though his neurosis are not fully incapsulated within those criteria. He appears, at times, to show feelings of strong empathy, despite his apparent incapability to love." Light slammed the folder and the words shut. "What a load of utter rubbish. I don't care. Really. I couldn't give a flying fuck."
- From Low Light there is Kira's ( L and Light's) greeting to Near:
Good Morning Near,I hope that you are well this morning, and my impromptu greeting has not interrupted any important investigation work this man was pursuing. I would not wish to deprive you of your important information, but when I realised that you were attempting to find me I knew I it would be remiss of me not to greet you.
As is my way, I shall prove to you my identity, as if this were not enough already. I believe you have an Ellickson Thomas and a Larry Conners working for you, yes? I also know that if you had been more thorough in your investigation you would have realised they were perhaps not quite as virtuous as you were led to believe. I shall say no more on that.
I must say that taking on L's persona in front of the American President really was quite rude. L was a far more worthy opponent to my righteous justice than you could ever hope to achieve. I suggest you admit your real identity to him soon, as well as to those who are blindingly following you in the hope that you are L, or I will tell him who you are. I assure you the president will escape retribution for his transgression, I believe in second chances.
- In the AU Point Of Succession Light informs Matt how he deduced Matt wasn't a real cop when he was pretending to be one for L's investigation: 1) Since Light came from a police family he knows how real cops behave 2) because Matt didn't even turn around, let alone stop to help when Light's accomplice pretended to be injured like a civic-minded officer should 3) few police officers have bright pink hair...
- In Story Of The Century, Original Character and First-Person Peripheral Narrator Erin, overcome with grief and anger and not the type to mince words, gives one of these to L at the end of the story that doubles as a “What the Hell, Hero?!” speech, when Light, Watari and Rem all die, and L is in the process of kicking Erin out so he can die alone, having written his own name in the Death Note to give himself immunity and to lure Light and Misa into a trap that exposed them as the two Kiras.
"I'm sick of feeling sorry for you. I'm sick of being scared of you. I'm sick of you. Both of you. You're just like him. You call yourself justice...but all I see in front of me is a monster, a pathetic hypocritical psychopathic brat that makes up whatever sounds good at the time so you always have an excuse to do whatever you want. You made that abundantly clear when we were messing with Yotsuba; I just made the mistake of thinking you could move past that. This wasn't about saving anybody, this was about satiating your fucking egos. Well lemme tell ya something right here and now you little punk-ass twerp: I don't care if you're the world's greatest detective and I don't care about your goddamn screensaver. Because that's all those are, a title and a screensaver. Take those away, t-take your money, your thugs, the notebook, the shinigami, people like me and Misa and Watari and Mr. Yagami and Matsuda, this whole lousy building away and what have ya got left?"Nothing. Nothing but another trash-digging bum living under a bridge someplace screwing yourself with stolen restaurant spoons that no one would give the time of day to, never mind listen to what you say. Either that or locked up in a padded cell with a straitjacket. Yeah, that's what you are, y-you're just a bum with the mental capacity of a brain and stomach in pickle jars that got lucky somehow, only now your luck's run out. One of the saddest stupidest most repulsive self-entitled over-glorified bums anyone in this whole wide world would ever have the misfortune of meeting, and that's all you'll ever be. You and him, poor delusional dumb bastards! God, if you'd have ended up outright joining forces with the guy we'd have been better off."Oh why the hell am I wasting my breath? You're not listening. You've never listened, why should you start now? If it ain't something tooth-rotting it's no business of yours. That's the only way I can think of as to how you could let all those people die for nothing, how you could torture Misa and Mr. Yagami and make them watch Light die...I bet their crying must've annoyed you too. She was right about you. Sohelpme, she was right about you. You are a creep. Fuck everything I said before; Light's the only 'friend' a toxic piece of shit like you needs and deserves."
- The entirety of the speech is too long to post here. You would think that being L he would try to justify the actions he took, but not this time. His disarmingly graceful response to this withering if over-the-top assessment of his character is heartbreaking even to Erin. In fact, it's implied he was already aware of all of this before she lashed out at him.
- Xanatos has a troll giving repeated ones to Kira. He disses Light as both the second L and as Kiranote . Said troll is Matt.
- Isolde gets a pretty heavy one in Dragon Age The Crown Of Thorns when she makes the mistake of accusing the protagonist of being someone who has no problem with killing children. This is one of the very few things that can really rile the dwarven Wise Prince up. It didn't help that Isolde was constantly throwing blame around.
How dare you imply that I have no qualms about killing a child? Your stubbornness and decision to keep Eamon out of the loop about Connor being a mage just killed everyone in this castle, almost killed Teagan and almost eradicated all life in Redcliffe! How many mothers worked here and are now dead? How many sons? How many daughters? How many children? How many men, women and children from the village died because of this? Massacre! This secret of yours caused massacre upon massacre and the fact I was here to stop the last one was pure coincidence! And then you come and lure Teagan here to share this fate! And all you can do is cast blame and mewl in this pathetic manner? How dare you try and weasel your way out of your responsibility for letting this happen?You weren't thinking of Connor's own wellbeing when you kept his magical aptitude a secret from Eamon! You weren't thinking about his well-being when you hired an apostate to tutor him! You weren't thinking of his wellbeing when you repeatedly lied to your husband's face about what was the most massive thing in your son's life! All that time, you only saw what you single-mindedly considered was for the best. You convinced yourself it was for the best just so you could not realize how utterly selfish you were! You were never thinking of Connor's wellbeing, only about your own!You handed your son over to the first blood mage that someone happened to stumble upon! And even though any sort of logic likely screamed inside of you the words "this is utterly stupid", you did it anyway! Because you would not 'lose your son to magic"! You say you love your child, but all you do is do what makes you feel better, even at his own expense! Instead of seeing him as your son, you see him as a means to feel better about yourself! All he is to you is an object that improves your mood!Oh, I know you love your son, and that only makes it worse, because it means your selfishness overpowered that love. And that is one of the worst kinds of betrayal. You betrayed your own child and now he has become an abomination that killed hundreds.
- In the fanfic Reign, Frieza gives a very scathing one to Vegeta.
Frieza: "Oh how I loathe people like you Vegeta. [...] A filthy traitor who thinks he has some sort of right to overthrow me. And you don't even have the common courtesy to die. That Super Saiyan ape might have vexed me, but you...you just insult me. [...] And you... Are an arrogant back-stabbing coward, who is incapable of acknowledging his own failures. You were sniveling to that Goku idiot back on Namek, saying that everything evil you ever did was MY fault. Well tell me Vegeta, do you know how many worlds and civilizations you've destroyed without my order? Did I tell you to destroy Arlia? Did I order you to commit genocide on the colonies of Ethrom? Was I the one who ordered you to decapitate the king of Verbu because he insulted your height? No, you proved yourself quite capable of cruelty without my input. [...] You see, Vegeta, for all the cruelty and death I or my family may cause, we have our reasons. Usually it's just business, trying to expand our empire or give territory to those loyal races who need it. Occasionally I'll mix business with pleasure such as right now. But the thing is, my dear boy, that's where the difference lies. I have motives behind what I do, while you...well you are just a thug like the rest of your species,despite this infernal notion of 'Saiyan pride' you constantly scream about. A violent and petty little thug who thinks that being a 'prince' makes him something special. In actuality, you were just a grunt your whole life, lower than even Zarbon and Dodoria before you started getting lucky. The universe would be much better off without you to stain it."
- Purple and Black Reloaded: Kirsche von Einzbern aka an Einzbern-raised Sakura Matou who sees Kiritsugu and Irisviel as her real parents gives one to Aoi Tohsaka after Kirsche gives Rin the Magus Killer treatment, implicitly calling her out for trying to pull a '...what would your parents think...' after how she treated her own child.
Aoi: Do you really think your parents would be proud when they see you now?Kirsche: My father is the Magus Killer. He wouldn't be proud, but he wouldn't be angry or disappointed either. As for mother...I never met my mother. And even though I really wish I could meet her someday, I also know that it's impossible. But I know this much: she'd be disappointed at the extent I've gone to this day, but she would understand. She would accept me. My father would accept me. That's because parents always accept their children regardless of the circumstances.
- Payback from a Pipe: Following Quagmire's brutal beating of Brian in Quagmire's Dad Stewie takes Quagmire, beats him up some and gives Glenn a RYSS in response to the one he gave Brian.
"You, Glenn, are the worst type of person on this planet... You are nothing but a hypocrite... You accuse Brian of lusting after Lois, but you fucking got caught spying on her in the can... you tried to hook up with her after Peter lost his memory, you used my pacifier as a sex toy, you're a convicted sex offender, pedophile, AND necrophiliac... and you accuse Brian of being a tool... but look at you! Brian at least TRIES to better himself with college and careers, but you... we RARELY see you working and I wouldn't be surprised if you just got into the pilot business just so you could fuck every stewardess into the mile-high club! So what if Brian craps on the fat guy's lawn, HE'S A FUCKING DOG! DOGS DO THAT YOU IMBECILE! You've fuckin' hit on Meg, Connie... you destroyed Cleveland's marriage and fucked Loretta's corpse... you treat women as if they're nothing more than objects... you act like you're some well-read snob, but in reality the closest thing to a novel you've probably ever read is the Private Parts book! But you know what... I could possibly, POSSIBLY forgive you for all this... but for one small fact. You're a shithead... a hypocritical, perverted, sexist, violent little shithead!"
- The villain Final Fantasy IX fic Go Not Gently deliver one to an adult Eiko Carol as she tries to defend Zidane's heroism.
Tango/ Vivi: What we did together, was it so courageous? Zidane walked among us as an angel of death, down in the dark places, his heart a crippled worm of blackness worse than Kuja's. Worse than Garland. He danced the dance of death and everything he touched turned to dust, linden-bloom. We walked in Alexandria and it exploded. We walked in Lindblum and it exploded. We walked in Burmecia and it exploded. We walked in Cleyra and it exploded. We walked in Terra, the dead planet, and it died. Do you truly know the things Zidane did, down, down, in the dark, with his hands and feet and mouth?Eiko: Zidane was a hero. Shut up! Shut up!Tango/ Vivi: Zidane was a liar!
- Chrom tears Frederick a new one in Pretender when he finds out the latter has been dating Robin behind his back, especially when Frederick told Chrom that he wanted to stay friends with Robin.
Chrom: You spent the last few years sidling up to him, all the while lying to me about it being a friendship based on your guilty conscience. You once said I was 'irresponsible' for thinking that you two were in a relationship. You've done well, Fredericson, pulling the wool over my eyes, had me worried for you both and made it look like I was in the wrong for making assumptions. Ha! Was I crude to use the word 'design'? I think not! We have not one great strategist in this castle, but two. In that regard mayhap you are perfect for him - I will never compare when it comes to cunning.
- Lucina Reacts: Cordelia rips into Robin and Lucina for refusing to confess to each other, precipitating them actually confessing to each other.
Cordelia: “You two are in love! Face it! Don’t tell me I’ve mistaken my signs. Don’t tell me anything like that! Robin, I’ve been your friend for as long as you can literally remember. Do you think for a second I never noticed how you looked at Lucina? How you always worry about her? Do you? Do you think you can lie to me?! And you, Lucina. Morgan looks exactly like you. She has your hair. The Mark of the Exalt. I’ve seen her use the Falchion. She couldn’t be any more of your daughter if she tried! Don’t you dare try to avoid it. There, I’m going to say it again. Robin, Lucina loves you and wants to spend every single waking moment with you. Lucina, Robin would want to do nothing more than make you his wife and make up for every last thing he’s wronged you in.”...“I’m angry because my two closest friends short of Sumia are being idiots! You two have denied yourselves the happiest days of your lives! You two know you love each other, but refuse to admit it to anyone, even yourselves! As your friend, I can’t just stand by and let you do that! I’m obligated to make you two happy! Do you want to suffer for the rest of your lives?!”
- One happens in Frozen Hearts, when Harald loses a poll conducted among his brothers about whether to help Hans; Harald's side votes "no" and Heins' side votes "yes".
Harald: If our kingdom falls… it will be due to all of you. Remember that.Heins: No, if our kingdom falls, it will be due to you, Harald! And I pray such misfortunes as have befallen Hans never befall me, because I certainly can't depend on you to come to my aid!
- In "A Second Chance" has Leela dream about meeting a clone of hers. Said clone then lays into her about her relationship with Fry.
"Struck a raw nerve, did I?" the copy continued. "Do you honestly believe that you actually care about him? From the way you treated him, I'm surprised that he stayed close to as long as he did; although I have no idea what he saw in you in the first place. You are a bitter, violent, and often inconsiderate woman who has built emotional walls around herself and blocks people who actually care about her from getting too close while letting complete lowlifes through. Honestly, I fail to see the attraction."
- In “''Boys Do Tankary?”, Vincent gives one to Maho regarding her treatment of her sister Miho. Then again, this disregards Maho’s canonical love for Miho and desire for her to find her own way of tankery.
Vincent: My poor Maho, I have grown tired of your antics. I'm going to put you on the defensive right now."Maho: "Wha..?"Vincent: "Is it true that you have failed to see what is most important to you?”Maho: "No."Vincent: "Then why have you pushed your sister so far away? You know nothing about true family."Maho: "Family. This is coming from a guy who has no family."Vincent: (indicating his platoon and the Oarai girls) "They have accepted me. Much more than you and your school. All you want is perfection on the field and it's because you pushed your sister away because she was doing what she felt was right, is the reason you lost. It's that reason that you will keep loosing."
- In Chapter 3 of Boys Und Sensha-do, Shiho gets one from her fellow members of the Sensha-dō Federation and the Sentōki-dō Aces Authority board.
Lady Grey: Nishizumi-sama, the defeat of your school has led to an expansion of the sport. Surely this is a good thing?Shiho: Grey-sama, the participation of such schools as Ion Dumitru, Népe Boarding School, and Mt. Zion in this Federation may be beneficial, but that does not take away from the fact that tradition is being trampled upon—Sakai: Nishizumi-sama, I suggest you reconsider your words. I have been searching for years as to whom you remind me of, Nishizumi... and I believe, at last, that I have figured it out. You, Nishizumi, are much like my superiors in the war. Clinging to tradition and seniority, believing themselves to be the ideal of our world, and all the while leading our nation to its own destruction.Shiho: HOW DARE YOU!Sakai How dare I? I dare speak the truth. What right does your school have to being the champions? What woman in their right mind plans to disown their own daughter for winning?Woman: You, you plan on disowning Miho, Nishizumi-san?Lady Grey: Whom is more honorable, the daughter or the mother?
Akio: If I had a sister, I’d be there for her all the time. Not just when she’s in the hospital.
- Akio gives a brief one to Maho in Chapter 7, unaware that all of Maho's efforts have been to allow Miho to live freely.
Akio: The only one here that’s a disgrace here is you, Nishizumi. Victory or nothing? If that was true, wouldn’t Maho’s defeat have been enough for you to give her a chance? Miho is twice the tank commander you ever were Shiho.”Shiho: I will not be spoken to in such a fashion!Akio: It’s the only fashion you deserve to be spoken to. Sensha-do isn’t just about victory. It’s about camaraderie and friendship. Miho faced your team outnumbered more than two to one and she won. With her leadership a team made up of inferior tanks bested yours with their King Tigers, Maus, and Panthers. She beat Maho herself in a singular duel with a Panzer IV. Why are you punishing her for doing well?Shiho: That is not what Sensha-do is about, little boy!Akio: GET OUT! If you’re not claiming her as your daughter you have no right to be here.
- Soon afterward, Akio gives a longer one to Shiho when she comes to visit Miho in the hospital for the sole purpose of disowning her.
- In the fic, Steel Carnage, Asuka gives one to Momo regarding her poor aiming skills, and to the rest of the team for keeping her around.
Asuka: "Really? REALLY?! What the FUCK do you call that?! Why am I NOT surprised the cyclops aims like she's looking the wrong fucking way."Momo: "What the hell are you talking about!"Asuka: "You had one, two, three shots to make on me. Missing the first shot was understandable. But you missed when the Raptor was sat on its ass, just begging for someone to shoot it in its face. That miss cost Mallard team their continued participation in the match. Then later in the match you missed again when you were the only one who was available to stop me from knocking out Rabbit team too. Do blend your meals so you don't choke?"Saori: "Hey! Leave Momo-chan alone. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it!"Asuka: "Really? Didn't you just say if there's something bothering you to speak about it? Stay out of this, you didn't perform like shit, so this has nothing to do with you."Saori: "It has everything to do with us! Momo-chan is a member of our team! You're bullying her!"Asuka: "You're letting her stagnate and rot! That's ten times worse. Do you trust her to watch your back in a Senshado match?" (only half the team says yes) "Yeah, doesn't look so great now does it!? You're flat out lying to her."Miho: "We're not! Momo is a hard working teammate, who never gave up or stopped acting in our best interest. She helped us when the school was about to close and fought with us in the finals. I have faith in her."Isobe: "Yeah! She was with us when we were stuck in that hangar against Pravda and fought with us to get out of that jam! Where were you when the school was in danger?"Asuka: "... while you were fixing volleyball posters to your tank, I was part of a deal between Engineering and Mitsubishi Heavy Industries. They supplied enough funds to keep the school afloat for three more months and I became one of their test pilots. And now, because of that deal, I'm going to be representing MHI in Steel Carnage."Yukari: "There's no reason to consider yourself representing anyone other than the school. Steel Carnage is just a rules test."Asuka: "You think so? Mitsubishi paid for the Raptor modifications, not the academy. The Student Council records should confirm this. They want the Raptor to be in Steel Carnage, but you can be sure that they're not putting their machine out there to be embarassed."Saori: "BAH! This is completely off topic! You're trying to distract us with strange and scary sounding things while you make fun of Momo-chan!"Asuka: "You're right, I am going off topic. Captain Nishizumi, do you have faith in her?"Miho: "Yes I do."Asuka: "Then tell me honestly, was she on the Hetzer's gun against Black Forest? (silence) That will be a no then. Some faith you have in her. I'm leaving. Clean up your act, or I'll find a team that has."
- In the fic Ten Little Soldiers, Miho does this when confronting the murderer, Sodoko, who lured the rest of the cast there and killed them while following a poem.
Miho:"You're a monster, you killed eight people, do you realize your crime? You will go to jail for that, I know !"Sodoko: "In prison ? Ah ah ah. Didn't you read the rhyme ? I'll just shoot myself in the head and it will be completed."Miho:"I warn you, be careful."Sodoko:"What are you gonna do exactly ? Hit me? I have a gun. I can shoot you at any time. But I'll keep my ammo for me. Miho, it's too late for you. You took the others for granted. And again, you didn't try to stop me. So I could finish my job."Miho: "What do you do now ?"Sodoko: "Well, it must seem obvious to you. You will die, and soon after I will shoot myself in order to stick to my poem. You see, I eavesdropped. I heard everything. The opinions of others have helped me well. Moreover, if I had this attitude, it was almost to force you to think. But you were so stupid that I gained ground."Miho: "Don't say that... this is madness... MADNESS ! You were a member of the Public Morals Committee, I just can't believe that you've committed a so inhuman act... May your body rot in hell when you'll commit suicide, you just took my friends from me, you just maimed a team of its commander, you broke another, it seems that you don't realize what you're doing !"Sodoko: "Even if I die, Pazomi and Gomoyo will find someone else. Besides, I had turned to them at a time. But I won't tell anything to you."Miho: "Midoriko, you really are the worst junk I could find until now, you who respected so much the moral values, you finally have came into conflict with your own original intentions !"
- Harry Potter and the Rejected Path has Narcissa Black give one to Hermione that can basically be summed up as, "You are a stupid little girl who is too busy being outraged and self-righteous at our backward outdated ways to bother realize that there are very good reasons for what we do." (Including the common fanon that freeing all the House Elves would result in species wide genocide).
- In Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, Harry delivers a cold and dismissive one to Professor McGonagall:
"There's a picture in your head of a stern disciplinarian and you do whatever that picture would do, whether or not it makes any sense. A stern disciplinarian would order the students back to their rooms, even if there was a troll roaming the hallways. A stern disciplinarian would order students not to leave the Hall on pain of expulsion. And the little picture of Professor McGonagall that you have in your head can't learn from experience or change herself, so there isn't any point to this conversation."
- In Harry Potter and the Trip to the Past Harry gives one to Dumbledore's portrait for not trusting Snape with information about the Elder Wand or Harry's probable survival, exploiting his guilt from giving Voldemort the first part of the prophecy and not appreciating his contributions to the war effort. He also gives one to his parents' portrait for his father's snobbish attitude as a boy and his mother's abandonment of her friendship with Snape.
- Harry gives one regarding Remus to Tonks in Faery Heroes.
Harry: My third year, I thought I had finally found someone I could look up to. It was our Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, one Remus J. Lupin. Unlike Quirrell or Lockhart, he actually knew what he was doing; unlike the other professors, he made it clear to us why we were learning the spells and strategies against dark creatures that he taught us. When the Dementors constantly harassed me, lured in by the darkness of my childhood, I went to him and asked him how I could protect myself from them, and to my surprise, he agreed to teach me how to cast a Patronus. He even told me a few stories about my father, just little things he remembered about a Gryffindor he had last seen over a decade ago. Then came the confrontation with Sirius, and I found out that no, he wasn't just someone who knew my dad in passing. He wasn't someone willing to help a random kid who came to him with a serious problem out of the goodness of his heart. He was one of my dad's best friends! With my parents dead, Pettigrew believed to be dead, and Sirius in Azkaban, he was the only one left! Even if he wasn't my godfather, he had a responsibility to at least make sure I was happy and healthy, not stuck in an abusive home! If something happened to one of the Weasleys, you can be damn sure I'd check that their kid wasn't being beaten or treated like a slave! But no, he couldn't be bothered to get off his bloody arse even once!Tonks: I-I'm sure he had his reasons-Harry: Yes, his little because I'm a werewolf spiel. 'I can't check on the only legacy of my closest friends because I'm a werewolf, even though the curse can't be transmitted through letters or even visits when the moon's not full. I can't keep my only living friend company while he's hiding outside the country for a crime he didn't commit because I'm a werewolf, even though he's an animagus and the wolf couldn't care less about animals. I can't be loved by anyone because I'm a werewolf, even though the woman who wants me knows about my curse and doesn't care, not to mention that she's an Auror and therefore fully capable of stopping me should I ever lose control.' That about how it went Tonks? Lupin... he lets his lycanthropy define him. In his mind, he's not a man with a disease; he's a wolf in the guise of a man. The three nights a month when he's transformed are infinitely more important to him than the twenty-five that he's not, not to mention that he doesn't change at all during the day. His mind's made up, and no matter what facts or valid arguments you bring to him, he won't change it.
- In The Dungeon Books Dumbledore gets one from the entire Order of the Phoenix, including people who had previously been utterly loyal, when he says that because Harry grew up in a loving adoptive home instead of at the Dursleys', he has gone Dark and must be killed.
- In HJG: The Smartest Witch of Her Age Hermione is given one during an interview to the Department Of Mysteries about how not only is she severely lacking in empathy, but her immense focus on book learning means she's learned essentially nothing from everything she's experienced.
- In Second Chances a magically-pregnant Harry gives one to Draco Malfoy when he objects to Voldemort having chosen Harry as his consort.
Harry: Stop being such a blind and stupid, self centred, attention seeking deluded prat! You were never going to be his consort, you are immature and so focused on yourself you would be terrible as the ruling half of the Dark Side. You are too interested in your own power and what you can get from it. Being a Lord is about responsibility for your people and your side, thinking how you can improve things for everyone and not just yourself! Your father is a good man but he gets ideas way above his station and your mother is so ambitious she is foolish. You were never going to be consort! And Tom is a man, a human being, not the Dark Lord, he needs someone who loves him for him and not for the power they would gain at his side, and that is not the bearer that he wants for his children! My son is loved wholly by me simply because he exists, I love him because he is mine and now I love him because he is a part of me and Tom. I don't care about the blood that runs through his veins except for the fact that it is mine and Tom's, I don't care that he is the Dark Prince, all I care is that he is healthy and happy. Can you say that if you bore sons and daughters for Tom that you wouldn't love them first because of what they give you, the acknowledgement that you were carrying on the Slytherin line? You're a fool, and a child playing in games that you don't fully understand! You earn the right to things, you don't demand and expect them, especially not in love!
- Mikuru delivers these to the entire rest of the SOS Brigade (and some other characters too) when drunk, in You Got HaruhiRolled!.
- Some Semblance of Meaning: The "pragmatic voice" seems to get great satisfaction out of giving these to Vale, constantly telling her that she is a wimpy, nervous, cowardly Horrible Judge of Character whose only talent is caring about people. Also, near the end of the Games, Amber gives a particularly cutting one to Obsidian, mocking him for being weak and compassionate and citing that as the reason why he will never win the Hunger Games. Obsidian responds with a "The Reason You Suck" Speech of his own, in which he undermines all of her points and tells her that caring about others doesn't make you weak; it gives you the strength and drive to carry on and follow through. "The last one standing has to stand for something. Otherwise, you might as well just lay down and die." He then goes on to win the Games.
- In Roundabout Way, Inuyasha gives a blistering "The Reason You ALL Suck" Speech to Sango (for always taking Kagome's side in an argument), Miroku (for getting involved in issues that don't concern him), Shippo (for being a whiny brat), and especially Kagome (for punishing him with a sit all the time whether he deserves it or not) about all the abuse he's had to put up with from them after Kagome sits him one too many times.
- In Queen Of All Oni, Ikazuki gives one to Tohru, right before the big chi wizard gives a Shut Up, Hannibal!:
"She was your comrade, and even now you seek to protect her. Humans with their senseless nobility. I could find it admirable if it weren't so pathetic," Ikazuki chuckled. Despite facing his fear and the nightmare that would soon descend on him, Tohru meet the green eyes."Yet humans defeated you once, and it's a human body you need now," Tohru answered shortly. Ikazuki frowned and smacked him in the face with his sheathed sword.
Paco: You are fighting Yackie. But you are his biggest fan!Jade: Heh, I suppose a towel boy like you wouldn't understand. I'm past looking up to Jackie; I'm looking to be better than him. In fact I always was, it's just age and a lack of opportunity didn't let me make that clear. Not like you, towel boy. I don't know why El Toro puts up with you trailing after him like some lost puppy. Guess he likes getting his ego stroked – it's not like you're good for anything else.
- Also, Jade delivers one to Paco, regarding his status as The Load and Tagalong Kid, which may or may not be a Take That, Scrappy!:
"You are a fraud! You call yourself a true warrior, yet you take pride in serving wicked men! You have no true loyalty, serving any master that can rent you! And you have no respect for true strength, eager to take the quick and easy path with dark magics! You have no place among the mighty! El Toro Fuerte lies struck down by a cowardly attack by your leeches, and yet he is worthy many times over. Because he had the strength to give up the false strength of magic, even after being its slave for so long. You, who would so eagerly put on the chains he broke free of, you must climb so high otherwise you would have to look up at even beggars like the miserable bug you are!"
- Jade's father Shen gets several — Jade herself calls him out on his years of Parental Neglect, one of her Co-Dragons, Left, tells him he was unworthy to be the parent of someone as great as Jade, and several of the heroes confront Shen about his decision to run away rather than help Jade.
- Wong gives one to Uncle for choosing Tohru, a virtual stranger in his home as his apprentice rather than his own niece. He notes by the strength of her failures that she had more than a little talent and asks Uncle if he was scared to cultivate a talent that leaned more towards power than control.
- Paco gives one to Hak Foo during the fight with his Mini Khan, calling out his Noble Demon facade as BS, saying he has no honor for being willing to sink to any depths for power. This is enough to actually get Hak to pay attention to Paco and try to kill him.
- Hak Foo himself gets one later in the same fight, when he combines it with a Motive Rant — he tells Jackie that he's weak for fighting for others, and that with the Khan now at his disposal, he's going to purge such weakness from the world.
- Jade gives an EPIC one to Filler Villain Anton Mortimer on just how unimportant he really is to what's going on, especially compared to her. All while robbing him blind, at that.
- Several other characters do this as well throughout the story.
- Every time Daolon Wong mentions one of his past attempts at gaining power in an attempt to impress Tarakudo, Jade replies by mentioning how he screwed up in that instance.
- Uncle derides the depths Wong will go to for power, saying he doesn't respect Wong enough to hate him, instead pitying him.
- Ms Hartman delivers an epic one to Tarakudo when he decides to appear to her. Not only does she tell him that she doesn't approve of what he's done to Jade, but also deriding him as powerless and saying once Jade realizes she doesn't need him, he'll be left with nothing.
- Uncle gives one to Viper, saying he refuses to trust her like the other reformed crooks he knows because she continues to go by her thief's name rather than her real name, which tells him that she lacks the resolve to truely give that life up.
- From Kill la Kill AU, Ragyo gives one to her mother on her deathbed for the hell she's put their family through:
Ragyo: How do you do, Mother? I am doing fine, thank you. Just fine, I should note, which is surprising considering that I was hit by a car when I was six, the day of my birth being the day that your life was ruined. In that vein, you say how I had hurt you, yet you never think about how you had hurt me. I was never to blame for your problems, instead, I had the misfortune of being born. I had needed you to guide, protect, hold, and love me, yet after I had grown teeth and started to walk, you left me to fend for myself, doing none of those things. Daddy never forgave you for that and neither did I, actually, that stayed with me for a very long time. Of course, I promised to never turn into someone like you and will try my best to be a good mother, not exactly perfect, I should add, but at least I try. When you tried to be a toxic influence in my life once again, I told you no, yet, you almost put one of my babies in their graves and drove one to madness. I don't think I could forgive you for that, seeing as what you did, for awhile, screwed us up psychologically. You're a monster, we will not deny that. I can tell you are curious as to why I even came to see you. Of course, I came to show what you've failed to destroy. You are dying and we rejoice. You've brought us misery and, now, that you are dying, going to be dead and gone, we feel relief. We are free, Mother, and never again will you torment us. We are finally free. Before I go and arrange your funeral, I must thank you for bringing me into this world and remember one thing as you go, the blood may run deep and, whilst scars fade, wounds may not heal.
- Link gives one to Mido in Awesomeness Of The Ocarina. It is also played with, because it is more of a Badass Boast.
"Why yes, young Mido. I wield [the Kokiri Sword] tightly so that I may smite any enemy that stands in my way. And most importantly is the symbol that these two items make when they are placed together. It is the symbol of your defeat by my hands once again. It proves that your status as my rival is but a joke delivered by a sad clown and is dismissed just as quickly. It tells the depressing story of how a young man, you, constantly tries to face the invincible giant, me, in a battle of wits, yet even though you keep trying and keep trying, your sheer suckatude always causes you to be crushed by my sheer awesomeness. I weep for you, young Mido. I weep for others like you, who feel as though you could possibly defeat awesome main characters such as myself. In fact, maybe I can consider myself as a Mary Sue compared to you. Your shittiness as a character, no… as a soul in this universe, is only useful for one thing, and that is to glorify my existence. Lastly, this sword and shield is a reminder that no matter what you accomplish in your life, compared to me, you will always and forever be shit."
- During chapter 33 of Wisdom and Courage, Princess Zelda gives a rather biting one that also doubles as a Did You Actually Believe? speech to Veran in during a Crowning Moment of Awesome on her part:]]
Veran: Impossible! You still live?! I thought I-Zelda: You thought what? That you had killed me? That Hyrule was yours for the taking? That you had won? Well, you thought wrong. The goddesses will not allow your senseless tyranny to continue any longer and neither will I...
Zelda: All you seek is power, Veran. You steal raw power to use as your own and then reap the harvest of the destruction you sow with it. You say that you sought to avenge your fallen people, but in reality all you want is to satisfy your own bloodlust! You claim to be the queen of shadows, but you're really just a monster that crawled forth from them!
- And it continues a few moments later:
- In Perfection Is Overrated, Natsuki gives one to The Usurper when it is revealed that he has possessed the Obsidian Lord, and has conjured forth two more SUEs who are imitating Mai and the manga version of Haruka in order to accomplish his goal of remaking the world as he sees fit.
Natsuki: "You're a fool… and a hypocrite. You talk of perfection when in fact the only power you yourself had is borrowed. As for your SUEs, all the ones who have come before have been defeated, and the ones that remain are mere copies of Mai and Suzushiro. Surely you've realized that your strength will never be a match for ours? But what you haven't realized is that no matter how much you may try to cheat, steal or copy our powers, you will never be our equals!"
Yukariko: You mean I should betray everyone else?Ishigami: You already have, Yukariko. You did the moment you decided to frame Yuuki-kun for attacking you. It may have failed and you may have avoided responsibility, but you showed that you wished to survive the Carnival alone with me rather than trust your fate to everyone else. Your God knows this; that's why He is not responding to your prayers intended to ease your conscience. And once it comes out what you've done, the rest of the Himes will never trust you again. The die is cast, as they say; you will make it to the end of the Carnival with me or you will never make it at all.
- Ishigami does this to Yukariko when she objects to his scheme.
- In the Uplifted series, Hanala to a group of Quarians on the Citadel for not rejoining the fleet. The crowd's reaction is justifiable however, given that the previous attempts by the Migrant Fleet were failed offensives. They understandably want nothing to do with whatever scheme the fleet has come up with.
Galina'Jarva: "The difference is that Hanala is Saleb's family. You are not. You will never be our family even if she marries you; and you will certainly never understand the culture of quarian child rearing. Saleb is the first and foremost concern of hers now. If you had a family you might have understand the concept of being selfless. But low and behold, you're quite possibly the most selfish creature I have ever seen. You staked your pride and honour before the lives of others and you got everyone killed for it. You killed my son, you killed my daughter-in-law, and you ruined Hanala forever. Your choices have left you with no real attachments, and you have the GALL to stand there and say you know better than I!"
- Hanala's Mother's response to Joachim Hoch's berating of their responsibility to their child.
- Weightless: Mierin showed Garrus that he was not as good as he thought:
Mierin: "I've been watching you for months. I thought about killing you. It would have been easy. You always pick the same piece of shit motels to sleep in, and your check in times are as regular as trigonometry. You eat at the same times every day, drink the same things. You may have had dozens of names, but your identity is always exactly the same because it's yours. No change in your posture, no difference in your step. You drink tea constantly, a dead give away. You have no concept of how to transcend your own personality undercover. You know the mechanics, but not the art.""-And nothing looks more suspicious than consistently checking in the early morning and out at late evening. And never pay with a card you fool, even if the accounts are opened and closed in the same week. What were you thinking? You're getting it right by changing locations as often as possible, but you need to break up your habits. Painfully predictable. Not to mention that any additional layer of security over the place you choose to fade into only assists in keeping you unseen. Hiding only amongst the impoverished and addicted is a beginner's mistake. You need to be able to disappear anywhere, and at any time.""You only see me right now because I want you to see me. You're fighting a war; a war in which you're outnumbered one thousand to one. The only way, the only chance you have of making an impact, is to become invisible in plain sight. Foolish engineer, you think you can do anything if you think hard enough about it, analyze it to death. No amount of thought alone will make you disappear in a crowd. It must be taught. It must be learned. I can see you're trained, but you are not a master."
Garrus: "How long have you been spying on me?"Thane: "Spying? No. Not spying. Realizing"... "Long enough to doubt that you are doing anything here at all."..."Except stare into things better left behind.""When your last hours come, on their fiery wings. Inescapable. Inevitable. Your gun won't save you."..."When you finally see, after your whole life..."..."The time you wasted. And you stand there, looking, into that impossible light, the light that leaves you behind...that claims all that you love, all that you built..and where she goes, you cannot follow...""You should have died that day...And yet you just keep breathing...Wasting."..."Every.Breath. Nothing. Nothing, will buy that time back. The time I watch you squander with every passing day."..."Do you hear me? Nothing. And you...you have everything...Everything...And yet, here with your thoughts and your memories of places long dead you waste the gifts of the living...No more...No more can I watch while you squander two miracles when there are some who would kill for only one.""Go to her."..."She waits."..."For you."
- Later, Thane delivered another one for Garrus to call him out for just wallowing in the past and ignoring Shepard's attempt to reach for him while she herself was having a lot of pressure.
- In the 8th part of the fanfic called "Heart of Azazel", Celestia gives a small one to her husband Dr. Bitch Spasms after Azazel returns:
Celestia: I'm breaking up with you. I issue a divorce. Know why? Because you are just awful! I'm sick of watching you treat patients in a horrible manner, doing your chores, wearing this horrific dress, the list goes on. I'm tired of being called a plaything...ESPECIALLY BY A MORON LIKE YOU!!!!!
- Rainbow Dash delivers one to Brownie in Rainbow in the Dark when she discovers that Brownie suffers from asthma.
I’m not angry at you because of your asthma. What I really hate is that you lied to me instead of telling me the truth. You could have killed yourself because you were willing to risk your life rather than confessing that you shouldn’t go too far. Ive never lied to you. Why couldn’t you do the same for me?
- In the oneshot fanfiction, Adored, years after the failed invasion of Canterlot, Queen Chrysalis has grown indolent and inept in running her kingdom. However, she grows concerned when she no longer senses the love and adoration of her subjects. She goes to Princesses Celestia and Luna for council when her own advisors prove unhelpful. Their conversation, naturally, turns heated quickly and the majority of this section of the story turns into a whole reason you suck speech from both princesses. First is Celestia, who sums her up as an cruel, unfeeling and empty husk of a creature unable to even comprehend love, made so by the abuse at the hooves of her cruel father, King Thorax the Terrible. However, Luna, whilst shorter, certainly delivers a more cutting speech after Chrysalis attacks Celestia, enraging Luna, who then proceeds to fight and beat the crap out of the Changeling queen.
Princess Luna: I'm immortal, do you understand that? I have done horrible things in my lifetime, your highness, and even Celestia has done things she has regretted. And I will have to live with all them forever. But you...you get to die. That's the worst part. You have tormented my kingdom and used and abused your own subjects to the point you're driving them from your lands. And soon you'll have a child, bully all the love and compassion out of her like your father did to you, and then you'll die, knowing everything will continue when you're gone. You'll be buried and be nothing more than a portrait in the palace, but at least you won't have to pay for all you've done. Well, you know what, Chrysalis? I wish you could go on living forever, as the unloved, unfeeling, empty monster you are in the living nightmare you and your forefathers have made on this planet! I hope you live forever, you bitch.
- In My Tall Human: Hatred is Science, Gilda meets again with Rainbow Dash, only to find her injured. Gilda tries to get from her who did that to her, but Dash is still hostile toward Gilda because of her behaviour at the party...until Gilda fires back.
RD: I thought i was a 'Flip-Flop' to you!Gilda: Right. And guess what? I'm not a Flip-Flop like you.RD: Oh this is good to hear after what you did to my friends behind my back!Gilda: Perhaps, Element of Loyalty My Ass, now that you have new friends you don't need your old friends anymore, but you have been my only true friend, not just somehuman i used to know, and being still pissed at you for throwing me away like a worn-out rag without a second thought doesn't change that, to me it doesn't change the fact that we have been friends for years, even if perhaps you forgot that...you say i only care about being 'cool'? Big fucking talking from Miss '20% cooler', do you instruct your new friends as well about how to cheer for you during competitions? And guess what, you're wrong! I care and worry about you, and since you have been beaten like that i have good reasons to do so...So Rainbow Dash, spare me the bullshit and tell me who's that motherfucking, cock-sucking son of a bitch who signed his own death warrant!
- In The Blueblood Conspiracy, Rarity goes crazy after being asked to help hook up Prince Blueblood and the Great and Powerful Trixie, and becomes obsessed with getting revenge on Blueblood for both his behavior at the Grand Galloping Gala in the episode "The Best Night Ever" and for trying to ruin her reputation in the prequel fic "Blueblood Returns". She crashes the wedding disguised as "the Phantom Mare" and tries to force Blueblood to apologize for both events. While Blueblood is quick to apologize for plotting against Rarity, he refuses to apologize for his behavior at the Gala, shooting back that Rarity should be ashamed and accusing her of being just another shallow suitor who only saw Blueblood as an idealized Prince Charming and trophy husband and wasn't interested at all in the person behind his royal facade.
Blueblood:"Nearly all my life, I have been the dashing prince. The dream of noblemares everywhere. The most eligible bachelor in all Equestria. A prince that Miss Rarity had attempted to claim for her own. And, like all the other mares, she had forgotten one thing. A vital, very important, thing. Do you know what that thing was?"Phantom Mare/Rarity (now scared out of her mind because of Blueblood's previous Tranquil Fury): "Why, surely it must have been what a foal he was?"Blueblood: "SHE DID NOT KNOW ME! And neither did she care! To her, I was just a silly idea! A fantasy! A prince intended to whisk her away to a land of fairy tales; to make her a princess. But, I ask you: how? How could that have ever been anything but a loveless relationship between a selfish, self-centered witch and her hapless trophy husband?"
- Another example involving Prince Blueblood-in The Vinyl Scratch Tapes, DJ-P0n3 insults the Prince on the radio talk show that she and Octavia host. The thin-skinned prince retaliates by canceling several concerts by Octavia's ensemble. Incensed, DJ-P0n3 gets Blueblood on the phone, and then...
DJ-P0n3: "I believe you are a bland, unintelligent, cowardly, prissy, stuck-up, laughable excuse for a stallion with a silver spoon shoved so, SO very far up his flank that you cannot possibly relate to anypony, anywhere, ever....My listeners like Octavia, Mr. Blueblood. They don’t like you. Nopony likes you. Heck, I have to wonder if Celestia even likes you. Or if your own mother does. Assuming, you know, you actually have a mother and didn’t just slither out of a pile of filth one day."
- Vinyl gets one from Luna for making presumptions about what Celestia had to do to stop her and crapping all over her family in her presence, and Vinyl and all her friends get one from Trixie for the blatant hypocrisy and double standards that they employ that make Blueblood a villain for being a jerk, but make Vinyl a hero despite also being a jerk, engaging in a national level smear campaign against someone and bringing a dangerous criminal into the heart of Canterlot.
- Scootaloo's Chaotic Family takes the cake for Blueblood sucks speeches. It helps that the speech is given by Discord himself, who is well and truly disgusted with the prince.
Discord: You. Are. Scum. Garbage. Filth. Flea-ridden manure. The only thing you’ll ever be 'top' of is a Trash. Heap.Blueblood: I am a prince –Discord: You are nothing but an ITCH on Celestia’s DOUBLE-WIDE FLANK!!! And the only reason she hasn’t taken the half a second she’d need from her schedule to SCRATCH YOU is because the impropriety would last longer THAN THE ITCH ITSELF!!! Try to understand me, you incredible dolt. I’ve just given you a quarter of my power. Not all of it; that never ends well. But it’s still enough to rival Princess Celestia. Be a hero. Be a villain. Be SOMETHING!! Make a mark, any mark, on Equestria. Sow chaos, sow order, sow anything. You’re a prince; you have looks, wealth, connections, an improbably well-built body for a pony who lazes as much as you do, a special talent for narcissism, the spirit of the sun for a godmother grandmother, and now you have more raw magical power then any unicorn has ever had. You have so much potential. AND YOU’RE SQUANDERING IT IN FRONT OF A MIRROR!!! You have twenty four hours to make a mark on Equestria. That’s twenty three more hours than any other pony would need, so I’m sure a ‘prince’ like yourself can handle it.
- Another Blueblood example (guy seems to attract these, doesn't he?) comes from Getting Back on Your Hooves. Twilight spends an entire day putting up with Blueblood's high and mighty act while cleaning up a Stink Bomb Spike let off in his room. She manages to put up with his insults...until he calls Rarity selfish for her expectation of him being a gentlestallion to her. Twilight lets him have it after that, pretty much letting out her entire day's worth of frustrations on him at once. Surprisingly it actually gets it through his thick head that he needs to be a better pony.
Twilight: I don't care what you say about me, I can even forgive you for saying Pinkie, Rainbow, and Fluttershy ruined the Gala, because they actually kind of did! I may even be able to forgive you for insulting Applejack's cooking! But you do NOT call Rarity of all ponies selfish! She may be a little vain sometimes, and sometimes she lets her desires get the best of her, but she's the most generous and unselfish mare I know! She's the Element of Generosity for crying out loud! She worked herself ragged making me and my friends TWO sets of Gala Dresses, doing everything we asked even though she knew our designs were a big disaster! And you know what, Blueblood? She didn't even think about working on her dress until she had ours made! Is that selfish?! Does that surprise you? Of course it would surprise a self-serving, egotistical, narcissist like you! You know, I wasn't expecting you to be her prince charming, but I was expecting you to be a proper gentlestallion! That's ALL she wanted for you to do! She'd probably even have been happy if you'd just split everything 50/50! Instead you were a selfish, egocentric, self-absorbed royal PAIN who only cared about yourself and wanted your date to do absolutely everything for you! And now you have the nerve to call that poor mare selfish?! And don't you DARE use the fact you're royalty as an excuse! Because it's NOT! Princess Celestia is a lot more royal than you are and she gave me a place to stay in Ponyville just because she knew I'd be miserable without my friends! She lent me and my friends the castle ballroom for my birthday party without even being asked! She gave Rarity a room in the royal palace just because I told her Rarity needed somewhere to stay! Celestia set everything aside and came to Ponyville as fast as she could just because Spike wrote her a letter saying I was getting worked up at making a deadline! So no! Being royal most certainly isn't an excuse, Blueblood! And let me tell you something else! It's not an excuse to treat ANY of your subjects who look up to you like dirt the way you did Rarity! Celestia and Luna both go out of their way to befriend and have a good relationship with their subjects. Luna, who rules the night, set everything aside to try and reconnect with her subjects on Nightmare Night! And Celestia isn't too 'refined' that she can't take a little commoner food! If anything, Celestia tries to be LESS royal than she really is! If they're the highest royalty in the land, Blueblood, what does that say about how you behave when you're so much lower than they are?
- At the finale of the Princess Gaia Arc of the Pony POV Series, Princess Luna lets Fluttershy and Fluttercruel have it for the whole mess the Fluttershy caused as Princess Gaia/Nightmare Whisper (which was Fluttercruel's fault in the first place), telling them, in detail, how they messed up in every possible way. This is such an epic What the Hell, Hero? that it's considered a fitting punishment for what Fluttershy did!
- In Earth and Sky, when Twilight finally has enough of Apple Bloom's anger over breaking up with Pipsqueak and confronts her on it, Apple Bloom states that Twilight doesn't know anything about love, to which Twilight responds:
- "Maybe I don't have the deep understanding of romantic love that my sister in law does, but I've experienced it in other forms. Love between siblings, love between parent and child, love between friends. I think I've seen enough to draw some conclusions and be able to make some comparisons. All I see out of you now is jealousy and anger and selfishness. The last time I saw anything like that from you was on that terrible day when I inflicted that Want It Need It spell on you and your friends. You describe what attracted you to Pip in the most superficial terms. His looks, his charm, his teeth, his flanks. Here you are a full grown mare and you're still throwing a tantrum over a doll."
- Cherry Jubilee gives a gentler one to Diamond Tiara in chapter 35 over Diamond's paranoia.
"I'm hopin' yer just addled a bit in th' head from th' desert sun, 'cos if'n ya really think everypony's out t' git ya like that then yer a lot more pitiful than I thought."
- In chapter 36, Apple Bloom gives one to Twilight over her possessiveness of Spike, pointing out that maybe she's not the only pony who is too clingy.
- In Round Two, Princess Celestia confronts Queen Chrysalis in her hive, to get Chrysalis' terms of surrender. When Chrysalis tries to give a Breaking Speech, Celestia responds with one of these:
- Princess Celestia: Well, I am a bit older than you, I think, so let me educate you on some simple truths. You think that control equals power. True power is something far more wonderful. You were defeated by something that you don’t--and never will--understand: love. You feed upon it, but you don’t feel it, do you? That’s why you don’t understand how you were driven from MY home. The pure love that Shining Armor and Cadence shared was something so alien to you that even your own vampiric power couldn’t handle it. It was love that defeated you, Chrysalis.
Celestia: You beat me because Shining Armor’s love is that pure. That true. And you can never have that. I saw your eyes when our first battle began. You thought you were going to lose. You knew my power then, and you understand that power now. All of these subjects, and none of them care for you at all. You rule out of fear, Chrysalis. I rule out of love. I would never let my subjects come to harm. They love me, and the very least I can do is hope to love them half as much in return.Chrysalis: You won’t get out of here alive. Do you really think my minions won’t take you down? How can you think that they won’t stop you?Celestia: The real question is: how do you think that they will? Pray you don’t see me again, Chrysalis. (Leaves as the drones give her a very wide berth out of fear)
- She gives a second one after leaving Chrysalis battered and broken at her hooves after Chrysalis decided to fight her.
- In Faith and Doubt, the fallen 6th Element, an abstract known as Doubt, turns Twilight into an alicorn. Luna, who realizes Doubt is the same voice that she heard when she was Nightmare Moon, calls him out and declares him a liar and a monster. With utter calmness Doubt rips her apart.
Doubt: I gave you the power to rival your sister. I whispered in your ear about how she treated you as like a foal and did not let you take a larger part in governing Equestria; that is something you agreed with and something you still think now. [Cuts off Luna's retort] Do not deny it. I can read your thoughts as easily. I know that to be true... just as I know that Fluttershy here fears that I will hurt all of you. I assure you, little one, I could not hurt you if I wanted to. Nothing would bring me greater joy than to aid each and every one of you little ponies. But Nightmare Moon... everything comes back to that, doesn't it Luna? Everything you are now and everything you will ever be is tied to that horrible day when you took the mantle of the Mare in the Moon. Long you and your sister have convinced yourselves and your subjects that you were not in control... that some dark boogeyman had taken you over and twisted you into a weapon of evil and the real Luna was trapped inside. And you have now decided to cast me in that role. That... is a lie.Luna: No... it was you. It was all you! I was good before you...Doubt: Now who is the liar? All I gave you was the power. My words were a reflection of your own thoughts, nothing more. I can influence your mind as much as a foal can stop the rain from falling. Everything that happened was your fault, Luna; every dark word, every bitter thought was your own. The hatred for your sister came not from me. Nightmare Moon wasn't a separate entity or some corruption; it was merely a name you used to deflect blame. Your own feelings of self worth drove you to attack your sister and try and destroy all of Equestria. It was then that I removed my protection from you and allowed the dear traitor you call sister to banish you.Luna: That... that isn't true, I... I would never.Doubt: But you did, Luna. You did. Darkness is not evil… it is those that wield it that make it so. The sun can give life on a farm... or kill in the desert.
- Really, this is Doubt's entire schtick.
- The Powers Of Harmony: During their Wizard Duel, Trixie tries to invoke Sympathy for the Devil and justify herself by telling Twilight that ponies of noble birth (like her) have looked down on her for her entire life. Twilight isn't impressed.
"So a few ponies making fun of you... gives you the right to be mean and nasty... to everypony else?! That's quite possibly the stupidest thing... I've ever heard. I never wanted special treatment... I wanted to be left alone with my studies... and my friends. You've no right to judge me... any more than anypony else... has the right to judge you! Maybe... instead of projecting your problems onto others... you should practice what you preach!"
- Fluttershy delivers a stunning one in Sophistication And Betrayal, before throwing Cashmere outside onto the streets.
Fluttershy: I have sat here and listened to you belittle my friends, insult their business, and doubt their resolve. And for what?! So you can get some sick thrill from it?! You want to know what Rarity's accomplished? I'll tell you. She faced down a dragon. She attacked a manticore. She banished an evil goddess and defeated the very embodiment of chaos and disharmony. She saved the life of a complete stranger. She committed herself to him because she cared about him. She risked life and limb, time and again, not because she had to, but because she wanted to! Because she has people and ponies who care about her, and she cares about them! She has done more in a few years than you will ever accomplish in your entire, selfish life! You are nothing compared to her!
- A Stitch in Time has this exchange between Twilight and her jerkass of a blind date Algae Bloom, in reference to Algae's earlier remark about how her pet store job mostly consists of cleaning "slimy plants" out of the tanks. Twilight decides she's had enough after coming back from the bathroom and finding another drink already waiting for her.
Twilight: Cyanobacteria.Algae Bloom: What? Is that some kind of nerd code word?Twilight: What you scoop out of the fish tanks. They aren’t plants, they’re cyanobacteria. You know, pond scum.Algae Bloom: Oh. So what? What’s the difference?Twilight: Proper classification is important, and those are two completely different things. Just because you don’t appreciate them doesn’t mean they aren’t good and important things. They provide something like twenty or thirty percent of Equestria’s oxygen, and they’re essential to the nitrogen cycle too. None of us would even exist without them.Algae Bloom: Well to me they’re just squicky, worthless ooze.Twilight: They survive almost anywhere, you know. From salty ocean water to rocky desert soil. You can try to kill them over and over again but they just always seem to bounce back. I just wanted you to know so that if some other mare in the future thinks it’s clever to tell you that you’re pond scum because you’ve treated her the way you’re treating me, it’s not as much of an insult as you think. If anything, it’s an insult to the cyanobacteria. Frankly, you aren’t worth cyanobacteria’s attention.Algae Bloom: It's a good thing you're a hot piece of flank, because I don't know how anypony could put up with how weird you are if you weren't. Seriously, you should just shut up and have a few more drinks.Twilight: Yes, I'm weird. I say and do crazy things sometimes. Things nopony understands, not even me. But some ponies, not horrible little stupid ones like you, mind, some ponies try. They don't know me, but they want to and they see that all those weird things are actually pretty wonderful. They look past how messed up I am. I thought I had to push one of them away because she doesn't see what I'm really like, but I was wrong.Algae Bloom: Where are you going now?Twilight: To get her back. Oh, and by the way? It's not as if it ever would have been fine, exactly, but you picked the worst possible time to try to get me liquored up so you could take me to bed. I happen to just have adopted a zero tolerance policy for mares who try to warp others' minds for their own pleasure, and if I ever hear from anypony that you've been getting fillies drunk and taking advantage of them they will never find your body.Algae Bloom: Wow, I didn't realize you were going to turn into such a psycho bitch over a drink.Twilight: Don't worry, it takes more than that to bring out my worst. A lot more. You don't even meet the detection threshold to register as something bad happening to me. If you ever do, you'll know. Briefly.
- In "Circus Days", Spike rips one on the Mane Six for abandoning him YET AGAIN at the circus, recounting the times he's been absent in most episodes.
Spike: YOU LIE! NONE OF YOU CARE ABOUT ME AT ALL AND JUST USE ME FOR LABOR! WHO WAS FORCED TO STAY HOME FROM THE CLOUDSDALE FLYING COMPETITION WHILE HAVING TO CLEAN UP THE ENTIRE LIBRARY FROM A MESS A CERTAIN UNICORN MADE?! WHO ALWAYS CLEANS UP EVERY PONY'S MESS!? IT'S ME! WHO WAS LEFT OUT OF GUMMY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!? WHO WAS LEFT ABANDONED AT THE GRAND GALLOPING GALA AND WOUND UP AT PONY JOE'S!? WHO NEARLY DROWNED AND FROZE TO DEATH AT THE END OF WINTER WRAP UP WHILE SOME CERTAIN PONIES WERE LAUGHING AT ME!? WHO IS ALWAYS CLEANING UP MESSES FROM ALL NIGHT STUDYING!? WHO WAS LEFT BEHIND TO TAKE A BOOK HOME WHEN I REALLY WANTED TO BE WITH YOU ALL!? ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! NOW I'VE BEEN TOLD I WAS FORGOTTEN BY ALL OF YOU! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! IF THIS IS HOW I WILL BE TREATED THEN IT'S OVER! I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ANY OF YOU!
- At the end of What Have You Done, the Mane 5 (sans Twilight) get this from their own Elements of Harmony, stating that how they treated Twilight means they are no longer worthy as bearers. Unfortunately(?), only the part from Loyalty to Rainbow Dash is given in full, though the sequel may rectify that.
- In The Umbra King, Rarity gives one to Sombra after rejecting his offer. He ends up agreeing with her, and dies saving everyone.
Rarity: “Sombra… You’re a coward.”Sombra: “What was that?” [he hissed, taking several steps closer.]Rarity: “I said: you’re a coward. You’re afraid. You’re afraid of trying to protect something… and failing. That’s why you leaned on the dark magic of the Nightmare Gem... That’s why you didn’t come to protect me or Sweetie Belle when we needed you most. That’s why you lost your cutie mark…You’re afraid.”Sombra: "Watch your mouth," [he barked, taking another step closer. Anymore and he would be able to push her right off the edge...]Sombra: "If you truly wanted to save your sister you would take my offer. You know I can remove you both from this situation."Rarity: "I have a duty to my sister, but I also have a duty to all of Ponyville! I'm... I'm one of the ruling ponies... I'm the element of generosity... and I would give up anything for my friends... Even my life." [Rarity half-smiled.]Rarity: "I won't give up on my destiny just because I'm afraid I'll fail. Unlike you."
- The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum:
Queen Celestia: ""There can be no peace, no compromise, no accord between Us and Them. You have seen his memories, how they poisoned their world, incited violence and murder, turned our own ponies against us!"Princess Celestia: "And you have done just the same, or even worse! You have corrupted your Equestria, tainted the souls of precious ponies with cruelty and malice, and drawn two realities into a war of endless death and atrocity! Harmony, true harmony, transcends species and worlds – it is the finding of common ground despite differences, the nurturing of love between all! You would create a desolation and name it Peace! I will not allow some Tyrant rule with an iron hoof. I will not allow an entire species to die quietly and fade into the darkness. I will not stand to see the rape of innocence and innocents alike, of the peaceful being forced to take up bloody arms, and the grotesque being violated in mind, body and soul! Equestria, all of Equus, will rise against you! We will fight. We will turn this darkness away, and come to the rescue of all you have subjugated, Pony and Human, Earthborn and Equestrian alike. We will cast you down, and cast you out! In Harmony’s name, I swear it."
- Princess Celestia gives one to her Evil Counterpart, Queen Celestia after being shown what she was doing to the humans.
Trixie: "No sentient being lives free of fears, hopes, dreams and doubts, not without some serious brainwashing or sheer self-delusion. You, with your sanctimonious serenity, are just a golem programmed to not question its masters, hardcoded to get a positive emotional kick every time you obey unthinkingly. True ponies, true individuals, are free to question their lives, free to fear, free to doubt, and free to find their own purpose."Trixie: (while impersonating Lyra Heartstrings) "WE ARE NOTHING ALIKE! YOU SPEAK AS IF YOU'VE BEEN A PONY ALL YOUR LIFE! YOU ARE JUST ONE BROKEN SOUL AMONG THE MILLIONS THAT WERE CONVERTED! THE GRIFFONS ARE MORE KIN TO ME THAN YOU ARE!"
- Celestia and Discord both give one to each other. In particular, the latter pulls a Shut Up, Kirk! and accuses Celestia of having coddled the ponies too much and turning Equestria into a stagnant Sugar Bowl. His trips through The Multiverse do force him to rethink this view, and he even does apologize to her for it.
- TCB!Trixie gives a couple to newfoal Focus Ray.
Angus: "Shut your fucking face, old man! We haven't been worth shit for years! How goddamn delusional do you have to be to think the public actually like us?! The PHL have evacuated civilians. The PHL can use 5.56 rifles while we have to use these stupid fucking .50 Beowulf rounds! The PHL saved Boston! The PHL have secret superweapons when all we have are homebrewed cannons and pipe guns! The PHL help power America, and we've probably used something from them! What in the fuck are we compared to that?! They're calling us terrorists and murderers, rapists and torturers, bandits that... I swear to God I'm not kidding, bandits that are destroying civilization! Crazy, right? EXCEPT DAMN NEAR NONE OF YOU HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO PROVE THEM WRONG! I'm not asking any of you to have sex with the merry-go-round toys, but at least the PHL is doing something. We're all yammer and no hammer now, the war's passed us by! We're a laughingstock, and if the PHL wins the war, we're not gonna be heroes. We'll be the guys that everyone laughs at. We're not heroic partisans like in Poland, or anything of the sort, we're just a bunch of assholes with guns pointed at everything that isn't us, because fuck you, it's the apocalypse, we've got ours! We're outlaws! We're... you! Mac Pherson! Is this what you signed up for? Stealing from people that don't have anything left to steal? And you, Clancy?! Killing people that I'm convinced just wanted a better life because their home is a despotic shithole?! Morhaim, did you sign up to oversee gang-rapes and eat people?! Anyone in this HLF brigade that wants to do something good... Follow me, we're going to the PHL! If Viktor Kraber can quit and do the right thing, we can outdo that bastard!"
- Celestia was already incredibly stressed out, but when Blueblood pushes her too far, she gives him a long overdue verbal beatdown for being such an embarrassment to the royal family, before declaring him cut off from his inheritance.
- From the Asia Side-Story, a PER agent tries to give one to Porter in the first chapter, calling him a broken man and a tool of a corrupt government; Porter just argues back that he at least isn't selling out his own kind to and collaborating with a bunch of xenocidal invaders. Porter himself also delivers one to an HLF member in the chapter "A Melody of Flames and Frost", stating that he and his friends have actually done important stuff for the war effort (evacuate and help civilians, fight the TCB!Equestrians and newfoals) and don't throw untrained children into the meat grinder, whereas the HLF have only hurt, destroyed and killed everything in their path.
- In the PER chapter of Case Files, TCB!Cheerilee gave such a massive one to PER agent Mikhailovitch that he broke down, told her what she needed to know, and apologized for what he did.
- Angus Reid delivered one to his HLF group over how they never did anything of real worth for the war effort or disprove the people's descriptions of them as "madmen destroying civilization" before declaring he's leaving for the PHL in a quote in the third chapter of Calm Before the Storm.
- Princess Celestia gives a short yet brutal one to her former student Breaking Dawn in Vengeance of Dawn. This is especially hard for her to experience as she loves Celestia just as much as Twilight does, which motivated her to do all of her horrible deeds in the first place trying to get back into her teacher's good graces.
Celestia: You are condemned entirely for faults your own, Dawn. As a student you were vain, lazy, disrespectful to your professors and disdainful of your fellow students. And now, as a grown mare, you have grown vicious and cruel. What you did to Cadancenote , whatever your intentions to reverse it, whatever your motives, your actions these past weeks have been absolutely unforgivable. You have disappointed me in ways I never believed possible, Dawn. As much as I regret my failure to better help the filly that you were, the mare that filly has grown up to become disgusts me.
- Despite this, Dawn still doesn't get it. It takes the Element of Magic itself telling her she sucks for her to finally get it.
- Chapter 4 of The Fall of Night has Luna call Celestia out on her habit of passing responsibility off to somepony else whenever Equestria is in danger:
Celestia: You worry too much. This is a good learning experience for them. After all, facing challenges is how a pony grows! This is just what Trixie needs. Once she overcomes this, she'll be one step closer to alicornhood. Or, if she fails, she'll be dead. That is also acceptable.Luna: Reforming Discord was a challenge. Defeating the combined armies of all the undead is not a challenge; it is suicide. This isn't a test, sister. The survival of everypony is hanging on this. We have to take this seriously and do something! If we do nothing then ponies will die.Celestia: I am doing something! I've given Trixie her first job as Element of Magic, and I'm going to watch her fail. Doesn't that sound fun? Then when Equestria has burned to the ground it will be her fault, and I can laugh in her face.Luna: Enough! You're not my sister anymore; you're just some monster. The loving and gentle pony I once knew a thousand years ago has been lost to darkness. She would never have been this cruel. She actually cared about the lives of her subjects.Celestia: Come now, Luna. I really do care about all the little ponies. It's just that I care about some of them more than others.Luna: Do you? I wonder. When Sombra threatened to return to the Crystal Empire and enslave everypony, you turned that life-threatening situation into a test for your star pupil. You knew of the Crystal Heart and its importance, but you did not bother to tell Twilight about it. Twilight could have kept Sombra at bay with the Elements of Harmony, but you did not offer to give them to her. Instead of doing everything in your power to save those poor crystal ponies, you treated the whole thing as some sort of alicorn exam! Did it never occur to you what might happen if Twilight failed? You wouldn't even let me go and help her! Twilight could have died. All those ponies could have been enslaved again. How many times did you put Twilight's life in danger for your stupid tests?Celestia: It worked, didn't it? Everything turned out fine. I'm sure everything will work out this time as well.Luna: You are a horrible, horrible pony. You care nothing for the safety of those entrusted to your care- but I do. If you won't defend this nation then I will. Come with me, pony who was once pink; we have a country to save.Celestia: Don't you dare leave. I won't allow it!Luna: (laughs scornfully) As if you had the power to stop me. When was the last time you actually helped anypony? All you ever do is delegate your problems to someone else.
- Drawn With The Night: When Celestia learns that Luna continued to invade Klein's mind and drive him mad, after Celestia promised that she and Equestria would leave him alone, she rips into her about violating her trust, continuing to assault someone she wronged in an area she can remain hidden and where he can't protect himself, and for doing it all in her name. By the end, Luna is left a quivering, crying, mess.
Celestia:"My dear sister, it must have been terrible, wondering what I'd do when I found out you'd lied to me. I do wonder, what else have you lied to me about? How much of my trust have you betrayed?"Luna: "Nothing, Celestia."Celestia: "But is that true, or just another lie? We did a man a terrible injustice. And when we hemmed in on all sides he who had offered us no threat, he prostrated himself before us and asked simply to be let alone. No threat to expose us, no cry for revenge, just the succor of time and distance to let him heal among his new friends and family. A boon we granted, I granted, and thought you had too. Was not his abject humiliation and acknowledged helplessness before us sufficient for you? Now, how many of your decisions do I have to review to see if you've kept your word to our subjects?"Luna : "Please Celestia."Celestia:"No, your Highness, our ponies come first. I love my sister. I had hoped she would understand my disapproval and seek to correct her mistake. But if the Lunar Diarch cannot keep her word, then all we have done is suspect. Our ponies have to trust us, or we cannot help them."Luna: "He's dangerous!"Celestia:"To whom? A maker of toys and a family man? To your image that you can do no wrong? To some desire to revenge yourself on one who wounded me? If revenge was to be extracted, it was my right and not yours! How DARE you attack an innocent in my name! You think I am so weak that I cannot defend myself and my own good name? Then what of your courage? Striking where he cannot hope to strike back, and keeping the excuse of 'I was doing it for Celestia' to deflect any blame! If he is such a threat, have the decency to face him yourself and offer a swift death. To drag it out over weeks and months is sadism, not security. Have the decency to let his family see the blood on your hooves and not make them think his growing madness is their failing. And you dare complain when someone turns the tables on you. Discord did nothing you have not already done. Be glad he withheld his hand further. Or perhaps he was crueler than I surmise. He left you alone with naught but yourself. A more conniving cellmate I could not imagine. Even an alien who stank of death and terror could not be as foul. In that cell, I had no fear of a knife in the belly in the dead of the night. Be cautious my sister, else she will slip a blade between your ribs and claim it was for my greater glory."
- Towards the end of "Drawn With The Night," Klein basically tells the princess (using a black belt in Politeness Judo) that he doesn't like them, he doesn't want them around, and that he will never take any aid from them without looking for "The hidden hook," further stating that their refusal to leave him alone and inability to comprehend that he doesn't care that they're sorry have driven him to try and tell them that to their faces, just so he can have some peace and quiet.
- Misunderstandings: Twilight lays an epic one to Silver Star, and by extension the other nobles involved in the conspiracy.
Silver Star: Your ascension was a mistake. We trust Princess Celestia with the very underpinnings of our world, but how she could select some... some bumpkin like you to become royalty is inconceivable! You know nothing of how politics works in this city, nothing of its deepest traditions and culture, and you dismiss this Parliament and the nobility as no more important than a common street-sweeper! It would have been better if you'd gone back to that speck of dirt called Ponyville, and somepony with some notion of what this nation needs had been given that power instead. You're not fit to rule.
Twilight: Is that what you believe, Mister Star? That I'm unfit to rule because I don't understand traditions or politics, because I don't have or value the 'noble bloodlines' you cherish so completely?
Silver Star:I... I, well, that is to say, perhaps not myself, but there are a number of other nobles-
Twilight: Well. In that case, let's take note of what resulted from the plan that you and certain other nobles—who no doubt represent the 'cream of the crop' in your mind—formulated. You enlisted the aid of a complete psychopath, a wanted fugitive, whom you allowed to spread harmful rumors about an innocent creature. You and your cabal of nobles maneuvered to politically isolate Peter Collins, to persecute Sveti Windwhisper—even conspired to frame one of your own, Prince Blueblood, for your plan to disrupt my research...a plan, I might add, could have resulted in the death of myself and everyone nearby, reopening old breaches into a parallel plane, and even the utter destruction of Canterlot itself. As a result of your actions, Farris Wheel, a promising actor and playwright, lost his life. As a result of your actions, a young filly by the name of Dewdrop nearly lost hers. As a result of your actions, there has been untold needless suffering and conflict that could have been avoided otherwise. You let petty jealousy and short-sightedness gallop roughshod over everything this nation stands for. And you dare tell me that I am unfit to rule?!
- The Rise Of Darth Vulcan: Vulcan unleashes a nasty one on Luna when she decides to rough him up. It's especially awesome because Vulcan is chained to a wall and imprisoned, yet Luna is the one who comes out more rattled.
Luna: My sister is too kind and soft for her own good. She would parlay with thee, let thee prattle on. I have no such compunctions. Thou hast brought evil upon our ponies, and thou shalt answer us humbly and swiftly, and give us all the truth we ask—- or feel our wrath!Vulcan laughsLuna: Wh-what art thou laughing at?Vulcan: You. So Celestia sent you in to play 'bad cop,' did she?Luna: Bad.. cop?Vulcan: It means she plays nice, then you get to come in and play all mean and hard... and do the dirty work for her. Like always.Luna: Watch thy tongue, creature. I care not for what thou art implying.Vulcan: And what am I implying? The truth? Things get nasty, she leaves, you come in to rough me up. Pardon me for trusting the evidence of my own eyes.Luna: Celestia, did not need to ASK me to put hoof, horn or wing to thee, wretch. I would have done the same on mine own.Vulcan: If she let you.Luna: Thou shalt show respect, prisoner. shoves horn at his faceVulcan: Celestia already did the horn-in-your-face thing. She did it better, too. Forget it. I don't speak to Celestia's underling.Luna: I AM NOPONY'S UNDERLING!Vulcan: Oh get over yourself. She rules the sun, the thing that keeps everything on the planet ALIVE. You rule the moon— a fricking night light. You were so unimportant that she did your job and hers for a thousand years without help.Luna: (Hesitant) My sister and I share the throne. I rule with her...Vulcan: Rule with her? You can't even match her. You tried to stand up for yourself and she spanked your fanny and sent you to your room, and only let you back out when you promised to be a good little filly and obey her. The only reason you're a princess at all is with her permission. And she could take that away any time she wanted. Look at this place. Hell, she built Canterlot while you were gone. It's ALL hers! This is HER castle, HER kingdom, and it has been for a thousand years! You're just the unemployed kid sister she lets sleep on the sofa—Luna: SILENCE! (Zaps him)Vulcan: Whatsamatter, honey? Truth hurt? Oh hey, y'not c'mpletely useless, after all... she lets you do all the stuff that would make her look bad. She gets to be the pretty princess everyone loves... an'... an' you get to skulk around inna dark wi' your batponies, scarin' the naughty ponies straight for her. Thousan' years an nuthin's changed, hazzit?
- Twilight gives one to the townsponies of Cirrus and Hilltop, once their acts of cruelty and felony were revealed.
- After the guards' unprofessional handling during Applebloom: Transform and Roll Out, Shining tears into the Commander.
Shining: So what, Commander? You just assumed that we were dealing with a changeling when they didn’t immediately agree to the spell? You just assumed that they were brainwashed and would just try and dissuade you by saying she wasn’t a changeling over and over again? You didn’t even give them a chance to explain that maybe there may be other circumstances to take into account? You didn’t give them a chance to share information that may have been vital to their safety and yours? We give them a chance to explain so that the exceptions can tell us what’s going on and we can judge the situation and react accordingly! Just because you had to cast the spell doesn’t mean you should just barge into places and start casting spells on ponies without giving them a chance to talk! There’s holding to the letter of the law and holding to the spirit of it, Commander! Our job is not just to keep ponies safe, but to make sure they feel safe, Commander. Ponies need to feel safe and comfortable around us so that they can come to us with their problems and we can work to help them! How can we expect ponies to feel safe and comfortable around us when we aren’t letting them get a word in edgewise? What kind of picture does it send when we start barging into schoolhouses, casting spells willy-nilly, and then carting off schoolfillies and teachers to the Canterlot dungeons because we’re apparently too lazy to handle it in house?! How are we supposed to protect them when that obviously sends the message that we are more dangerous than the criminals and the monsters?! How are we supposed to protect ponies when the skittish, hysterical actions of our privates clearly show ponies that we’re a bunch of incompetent, cowardly rookies that can’t handle a sick manticore cub?!
- In Why Am I Crying, Silver Spoon gets a harsh one by Green and Shady Daze while they beat her up now that her friend, the hated Diamond Tiara, is dead.
Silver Spoon: I-I-I...know I was cruel, but I didn't—Shady Daze: Know? Know?! You know nothing! All you ever did to us "blank flanks" was make our lives miserable! You know how many fillies and colts you sent home crying? You know how many ponies hate you? You should just crawl under a rock and die! That way, you and Diamond Tiara can both be friends again in Tartarus!
- In Medicinal Lullaby Naruto, tired of Sasuke's endless whiny bullshit, gives one of these to him when Sasuke comes to try and destroy Konoha.
Naruto: Let's get one thing straight here Sasuke... I do not want to be here. I can think of a good twenty things I'd rather be doing right now, most of which involve lying down. So I'm going to make this quick, and then I'm going to forget you. I have no tolerance for you any more. [...] I feel like I'm obliged to ask you why you're doing this so suddenly...though I know the reason won't change the outcome of this battle.Sasuke: I'm about to destroy your village and yet you show almost no concern.Naruto: Why would I be concerned about you? You're still the same, impulsive child that left the village ten years ago. Apparently Orochimaru gave you power and nothing else. But that was all you wanted, wasn't it? How did that work out for you?
- From War of the Biju: The Fourth Shinobi World War we have this tidbit from Danzo to Sasuke:
Danzo: What do you want to know?Sasuke: Did Konoha's higher ups order Itachi to kill the Uchiha?! Answer me!Danzo: ...does it matter if we did or not? If I say no, you'd call me a liar and try to kill me like several times before. If I replied that we did, you'll get enraged and try to kill me anyway. You let your emotions rule you more than the Kyubi Jinchuriki.
- In Legacy of the Rasengan Sakura steals Naruto's secret (personally created) jutsu scrolls. Naruto has this to say when he finds her before she can even decode one:
Sakura: (silently gives them back)Naruto: (deep breath) "Sakura. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SCROLLS!?!? I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! I'd have expected this of Sasuke-teme, even BAKA-SENSEI! BUT YOU! What's the MATTER with you! Are you so desperate to learn everything I hold secret to resort to this? I thought you were my friend!"Sakura: "I'm sorry Naruto. I didn't think you'd—"Naruto: "THAT'S THE PROBLEM! YOU DIDN'T THINK! Too busy caught up in your FANTASIES chasing after a teme who doesn't barely give you the time of day, to stop to consider how OTHER PEOPLE will feel when you decide to find some way of IMPRESSING that teme! I'm glad you never went on a date with me! Now I realize that you never were the type of girl I'd have wanted to have a relationship with!"
- In A Fathers Wrath, Orochimaru delivers one that is also What the Hell, Hero? to Jiraiya and Tsunade when they reunite and he yells at them as to why they didn't look after his son Naruto.
Tsunade: "Enough, you're not his father."Orochimaru: "I beg to differ, that ridiculous genjutsu that was put on him is gone. He looks just like me as my blood runs through his veins. The title of father is mine."Tsunade: "You deserve the title of a lot of things, but father isn't one of-"Orochimaru: "How dare you? How dare you say that Naruto isn't my child and I am not his father! Do any of you two fools have any idea what I've been through this past twelve years? Not a single one of you know what I've had to done to get my son back! For twelve long years I was forced to watch those worthless maggots of that miserable village treat him like garbage! Insults, Rotten food, Rocks, even Kunai and Shuriken where hurled at him for no better reason than just because he's different than them! I had to watch him put up with being chased by mobs, denied entry into the academy if Sarutobi hadn't pulled strings to let him, and other stuff as well as he had no one that looked out for him. And where were either of you during that time! Out looking for a girl wearing a skirt? Gambling away your money? You two have done nothing for him! If he was Minato's son like they made everyone think he was would you look after him? He's been put through hell and I was forced to watch it happen as he had no friends except for a few people who actually stopped and looked at him for a change. He has grown into a fine young boy and he is finally being treated with the respect he deserves. I am his father and just like a Wolf I will protect my son from anything that will bring him harm. If you don't like it than fuck you, fuck both of you!"
- In Naruto: Myoushuu no Fuuin, Ino tries to bully Kakashi into letting her look after Sakura after her parents die, asking her teacher Asuma and her father, Inoichi to help her. He responds as follows, before giving reasons why her attempts at intimidating him don't frighten him.
Kakashi: "As her Jounin sensei, that means that I am now her next of kin until she refiles her paperwork in the Ninja Registration Office. And that means that if you or your father or your sensei try to take her from me, I can have you all arrested and court-martialed. Were you aware of that? And believe me, little girl, if anyone tries to take Sakura from me right now, there will be grave consequences indeed. Because what Sakura needs right now are the people who love her, and would do anything for her, and want what is best for her more than anything else. She doesn't need a selfish little girl trying to play at being a grownup, who wants to be seen taking care of her more than she wants to actually care for her. And Sakura doesn't need to be used as an excuse, and for you to attempt to use her grief as a ploy to get Sasuke's attention disgusts me.
- In Son of The Serpent, the sequel to A Father's Wrath, Muta Daidouji, The Rival to Naruto delivers one to Itachi that at first looks like it's a "World of Cardboard" Speech and Humans Are Special but goes into detail about how Clans like The Uchiha who are given everything resent those who dare try to gain power and how they would never allow another to be over them. Refusing to accept another would gain strength and surpass them calling Clans and Kekkai Genkai wielders the real thieves. He then finishes it by telling Itachi that he should be more worried about what it would feel like to have his blade stabbed into his heart instead of Sasuke.
Hikari: "WAAAHHH! You hit me! Kill her! She's a bad person! You can't do this to me! I'm a-"Tayuya: "SHUT…UP I am sick of your attitude you miserable silver spooned brat! If this is the way you act no wonder your own people wanna kill you. You're no prince, your nothing but a spoiled monkey who throws a tantrum and cries until he gets his way. What the hell kind of leader do you and your father plan on being if you're always putting your own needs in front of those of your subjects? I don't give a shit if you're descended from Kami himself! I'm not going to stand by and let you badmouth me or anyone else. Especially you running your damn mouth about Naruto! The person I care for, Naruto Uzumaki is Son of the Snake Sannin Orochimaru, heir to The Hidden Sound Village and next in line to become Otokage, Prince of Otogakure, and Hero of the Fourth Shinobi War! He's done more in one month than you will ever do in a hundred years you spoiled good for nothing maggot who you and your father thinks that by some chance of blood you have the right to walk all over everyone and treat them like dirt! You'll never match up to Naruto you piece of trash, cause unlike you he doesn't let his station go to his head, he doesn't spend thousands of ryo on himself for his own enjoyment while his home and people suffers, he actually looks to benefit and cares for his people, you and your father when was the last time you actually stopped admiring your new toys and saw what was happening with your people. You want to know what he's doing right now? He's training himself, for the past two years he's been on a training mission so he can get stronger and that way he can protect his village that he loves. Here's something you two fools should ask yourselves. If Naruto is lower than you in your eyes, than why does he have the love and respect of his village when your people on the other hand are plotting to kill you?"
- Tayuya gives one as well to The Royal Brat Hikari from The Third Movie in it when he starts badmouthing Naruto and claim he's nothing to him. It's well deserved especially for those who hated the little ass after she slaps him.
- Ino gives one to Toka in Eroninja after the latter continuously objects to shows of affection.
Ino: "You are miserable and insist everyone be equally as miserable as you. That is why you refuse to move out. You want to force us all to comply with your ideas of how we should conduct ourselves. I’m simply not going to play along.”Toka: “So instead you decide to act like a whore, and prostrate yourself before this man who barely values you since he’s taken so many lovers and all because you lack the self-esteem to stand on your own."Ino: “Look here lady! This is our house, not yours. And you better get used to the idea because sooner or later we’re not going to need to hide our feelings for Naruto. Eventually Kurenai will move out, or… When that happens you can be as unhappy as you want and pout in the corner, but we’re going to act like the family that we are. Oh, and just so you know. He values me plenty. Thanks to his love and encouragement, I went from an underfed and weak kunoichi to the head of my clan. It is because we are so secure in who we are, that I and his other lovers are willing to share him. If it’s a lifestyle that’s not for you then fine. But in my opinion, people like you, who protest so loudly how others live their lives do so simply out of jealousy or out of a strange belief that people finding happiness in a way other than how they believe it should be found somehow robs them of their own. If that’s the case, can you truly claim to be happy with your choices in the first place?”
- Sakura delivers a well deserved one to Sasuke in Sorry's Not Enough calling him out on all he's did and if he expects to be forgiven by mumbling Sorry.
- Naruto goes to give one to Sakura here after she had killed Sasuke only for her to turn it around and deliver a brutal one of her own to him, telling Naruto that he is a hypocrite and disgrace to Shinobi with how he acted and no one would ever want to have him as Hokage.
- Evangelion 303: Asuka gave one to herself in chapter 12:
Asuka: Nobody understands what I’m going through!
Asuka: Do YOU understand?
Asuka: Do you see what you are doing? What you’ve been doing ever since you woke up? You wrap yourself up in this warm blanket of hate because it makes you feel powerful! It’s the only way you can feel powerful again without the help of others! But it’s only a drug. A quick chemical that hides your troubles! Meanwhile they’re still there GETTING WORSE. So, once again, the great Asuka Langley Sohryu is retreating from her troubles armed with a medicine cabinet of powerful looking narcotics! My, how self-reliant you are!
- HERZ: The leader of GEIST gives one to all SEELE members, pointing out that the Children have the Evas, Adam, Lilith and the Spear whereas SEELE has nothing… still they trust their victory because they think The Scrolls Said So.
- Nobody Dies: The angel of terror Iruel attempts a Badass Boast at Asuka's expense, only for Asuka for fire it right back at him.
Iruel: I am the Fear of God. I am the Angel of Terror. I will wipe this world clean of your organic sludge and remake it into my own!"Dollie": "And without ADAM, how does that work? You said it yourself. Godhood's lost to you. So now you're just delusional. You're code breaking down."
- The One I Love Is: Done several times by Asuka to HERSELF as a horrified Shinji watches how she –someone whom he admired for her courage and confidence- tears herself apart.
- In chapter 6:
Asuka:"Do you realize how much it hurts?!" she continued, slightly shaking as if she were about to burst into tears. "Do you know how it feels to hold you, at night, knowing that the next day you'll hold her in your arms instead of me?! Do you know how I feel when we're eating together at school and that you look at HER instead of me?! I... I... I was desperate... I knew that... in the long run... I'd lose you. I'm only good at piloting EVA... That's the only thing I can do and I'm not even the best at that anymore. Her... she cooks like a chef... while I barely know how to make instant. She cleans, does the laundry, her apartment always sparkles... here, I expect you to do all those chores and my room is a mess. She's good at school... do you know that she's our class's top student, even though she misses half the classes? I can barely keep up because I can't understand all the kanji... me... a college graduate... how pathetic..."
- In chapter 6:
- In Marie D. Suesse And The Mystery New Pirate Age!, Madelyn gets two from her lover, Trafalgar Law, at two separate points
Trafalgar Law:"You thought I'd be happy with you stealing my crew, usurping my position and relegating me to the role of trophy consort?"Madelyn: "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. But Law... I really meant well. I wanted to help you achieve your dream. I just... I..."Trafalgar Law: "—murdered Straw-Hat Luffy. Your supposed brother. Yes I know what you did, Madelyn. You don't understand a man's dream, do you? It's not about winning. It's not even about finding One Piece. It's about the race to the finish line. There's no point in becoming the Pirate King if I win the title by default. And you... you took out my most respected rival in the most underhanded, lamest way imaginable! You disgust me."Madelyn: "Law, please don't say that! Law! You're everything to me! I... I... love you."Trafalgar Law: "No you don't. You're just a self-centered, monstrous, bitch who's obsessed with someone you only think you know." I should cut out your heart for what you've done. But that would be more mercy than you deserve.".
- Chapter 23, when Law confronts Madelyn after learning that she was responsible for Luffy's execution and freeing his crew from her control.
Trafalgar Law: "Mistakes? The world doesn't exist as a testing ground for your mistakes so you could learn how to be a halfway-decent human being, Madelyn! Straw-Hat Luffy! Bepo! Jean Bart! Penguin... (lists the rest of the Straw Hat and Heart Pirates)...they weren't 'mistakes'! Those were real lives, Madelyn. They were people! And because of your actions: They. Are. All. Dead!"
- Chapter 31, when Madelyn, having been revealed as Mar's mother, says she regrets what she did, especially because she only intended for the Straw Hat pirates to be delayed.
- Second Wind: Luffy delivers one of these to Kuro in Chapter 6, saying that he can’t even compare to Usopp in terms of willpower…and then proves it by blasting both of them with Conquerer’s Haki. Usopp barely maintains consciousness, but Kuro struggles, and fails to.
- Reggie in Pokeumans delivers one to the MSN Gang, specifically with relation to their battle tactics. This is while he gives a single-handed beatdown to the three of them.
- Deoxys from Latias Journey delivers one to Mewtwo. It's kind of long, but the recap is that Mewtwo's whole life of pain is caused by his own will to live.
Just a bit of it: "Do you know why you have suffered so much in your life, Mewtwo? Why you were tortured in Giovanni's hands, why you suffered from depression and doubt about your existence, why your very genes betray you by decaying at an abnormal rate? The answer to that is the same as the answer to why you have suffered just like this in all your past lives: because you wanted to live so badly that you took on enough of my essence to doom yourself to a life of despair and never-ending pain. In some timelines you found peace and happiness, in others you did not. In still other timelines, the call of your instincts and the piece of me within you grew to the point where you not only accepted your fate, but chose to bring it to all, making yourself into my vessel, a projection of my will. That is why the other Mewtwo was on the ship, he and some of the others present realized how awful life in general is, even if on the individual level it can be pretty good for some, and resolved to end or control it in any way they saw fit, giving in fully to the piece of me within them. "You chase the fate that befalls you, Mewtwo. Destiny or prophecies, whatever they may be, be damned, YOU, in the very end, are the reason for your own pain."
- Bianca and Brock in A New Chance Series both give one to Team Rocket, but for different reasons. Bianca gives one to Jessie, calling her out for calling Ash "twerp" even though he just risked his life and Pokemon to save Team Rocket's from Rico, and for being a criminal like him in general. But it's also done out of anger for not being able to rescue Larvitar's mother
- Brock gives Jessie and James a composed, albeit more cutting one not only for being crooks, but incompetent ones, having never been able to catch Ash's Pikachu, at still trying to even though he's gotten much better than them. It's not said out of spite, but as a plea for them to give up being crooks, since he's also trying to make them see how painful their job can be, and he even says they are perfectly capable of doing good. But he warns them if they keep robbing Pokemon after this, than they truly are irredeemable. A couple of chapters later, and it's clear the realization stuck.
- Cori Falls's work has Jessie, James, Meowth, Gary and their friends constantly delivering these to anyone who's wronged them in the slightest. Ash is usually on the receiving end, but James gives a rather epic one to Misty that drives her to tears and shames her into apologizing for her bad behavior.
- In Sylvia the Sylveon, the titular character gives one to Dilandau after he sets a forest on fire. He responds by giving one back to her.
- In Power Rangers GPX, Green Ranger Daisuke split from the team along with his sister. That didn't work out too well, and she let him know:
Hitomi: Brother, Sean was right! You can't lead! Every time you try to lead, you panic and things just get worse! Not only that, you're a selfish jerk!Daisuke: Hitomi! What has gotten into you?Hitomi: I've seen what Sean was talking about! I wish I had never followed you!Daisuke: Hitomi, this is crazy talk! What's going on? Listen to me. You're coming with me!Hitomi: No, you listen to me! I'm tired of you always telling me what to do! I don't care about family loyalty anymore, I want to be like Maria and be my own, independent woman! For once, I am not going to do what you tell me! We should never have split with the others! We need them!Daisuke: We don't need them! If we need them, then our dignity as Japanese citizens is gone!Hitomi: DON'T BRING NATIONALISM INTO THIS! Nationalism has no place here! The Zordonians are a bigger threat than 'Japanese dignity' or whatever you're talking about!"Daisuke: Hitomi, what are you—Hitomi: I don't want to be part of something if I can't be with my friends! Sean, Kevin and Maria were my friends! And you took that away! I know this is going to sound wrong but… I HATE YOU! YOU'RE A SELFISH, SPOILED, JERK! Your selfishness nearly got us killed, could have killed Sean, Kevin and Maria, and possibly doomed the planet!
- Rosario Vampire: Brightest Darkness:
Inner Moka: You have some nerve to call yourself a teacher. All I see is a demented woman, one with no artistic talent of her own. So she has to take all the artists around her as her own pawns. Simply pathetic.
- In Act IV chapter 19, while beating up Hitomi, Inner Moka dishes one out:
Moka: You arrested us. You took us away and scheduled us for execution just because we were monsters. We didn't want to cause any trouble. We didn't want anyone to get hurt. We only came to try to help, but you wouldn't listen to us. We didn't want to hurt you yesterday, but you gave us no choice. We had to free ourselves from being wrongfully imprisoned and accused of being enemies of mankind. Yes, we did harm and even kill some of the HDA when we broke out of your jail. We didn't want to, but we had to. You wouldn't listen to us. You wouldn't even try to understand. You just blamed us for everything because we were monsters and you were scared! We wanted peace with your race, and still do. But tell me honestly, did you want peace with us? Did you? Were you even willing to give us a chance, or does us being monsters automatically mean we're the devils? We told you that we would deal with monsters that were out of line, just as you deal with your own kind who cause trouble in your world, but the moment a monster acts out, you all jump to the notion of war! We risked out lives to help save you, to save all of you, and you still think we're nothing but horrible monsters! We exposed ourselves to you, told you everything you wanted to know about us. We wanted to live in peace with you! But the second a rogue monster causes a scene you blame all of us! You're unbelievable! We put an end to Fairy Tale! We stopped Alucard! We killed those that destroyed your school and city! My friend here even just shot that massive demon out of the sky by means that I can't even begin to fathom! What do we have to do to prove to you that we aren't evil?!
- In Act VI chapter 25, Moka and co. (mostly Moka, but the others put their own opinion in) publicly berate the HDA for refusing to see that not all monsters are bad even after everything they've done to try and make peace with them:
Render: You know what? I was going to say sorry about having to kill some of your comrades the other day. I mean, hey, I didn't want to dice them into pieces. They were just trying to kill me and my smoking hot girlfriend, so of course I wasn't going to take that lying down. But it's obvious that none of you are sorry about the way you've been treating us or are even willing to listen to us. Our friend here just obliterated that demon above for you and you're aiming your guns at her again. The hell kind of manners is that?
Mizore: You people are more of monsters than we are. You won't even give us a chance just because we're different; you think we're all the same. I could have used lethal force earlier while trying to help my friends escape the real evil monsters that were here when your police tried to shoot us. They didn't even ask questions or try to detain us; they tried to kill us on sight. But I didn't kill them. They're alive, and aside from having a few bruises, they'll be just fine.
Leon: We stopped the monsters who were running around here causing havoc, but I guess that means nothing to you, does it?
Akasha: I put an end to several large demons in your city, and this is the thanks I get? I see mankind's manners haven't changed in all these years.
Moka: The HDA has been nothing but a barrier in any efforts to forming peace with you people; they treat all monsters as absolute evils regardless of their nature. I've laid my life on the line for your kind, and this is what I get for it, a gun to my face and accusations of being a plague in your world. I value life, no matter what it may be. Do you? We put a stop to the monster attack in your home. We tried to save as many lives as we could. We've begged you to listen and allow us the chance to explain what happened, yet you still point that thing at me. You want to kill me just because I'm a monster? Can there really be no peace between our worlds? If so, then go ahead and shoot. You won't get an easier shot than this. Just remember that we're willing to give peace a chance, but this monster in the darkness, the one that has attacked both our worlds in his quest for total domination... he will not be so merciful as to give you a similar chance.
Moka: You're one to speak about trust. How can we even trust you after how you treated us? We protected you from Alucard, we exposed ourselves willingly and told you everything you wanted to know about us, we've cooperated with your governments and even had three of our own students join your school as an act of peace. You're the ones that throw us all in the same lot when one of us acts out; you're the ones that have trust issues. Humans shot at us yesterday, tried to kill us all without even listening to us or willing to hear reason, yet I don't assume all humans are evil and want to kill us. There was a human girl who risked her life to free us, her name was Sandra and she gave her life helping us. She died because her own kind shot her, killed her like a common criminal all because she wanted to help those she knew were innocent. You treat all of us like evil monsters, like we're all out to destroy humanity and ravage the earth. Well, those are nothing but children's stories, Mr. Tamaka. Not all monsters are the devils. But there is one that's worse than the devil, and he's targeting both of our worlds for annihilation. So, tell me this right now, is this going to be a free-for-all, or do you want to have allies who can help you against this threat?
- In Act VI chapter 30, when Hothorne asks her how she expects him to just believe her story about Babylon and trust that they're telling the truth, Moka is quick to turn his own words against him, pointing out that he has no room to talk to her about trust considering the HDA's Van Helsing Hate Crimes mentality:
- In Saki After Story, found here, Teru gets this from Sumire when she and the rest of the Shiraitodai team catch her viciously beating her younger sister, Saki, as well as Nodoka when she comes to help, badly enough to send both to the hospital, after losing the tournament to Saki.
Sumire: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Do you realize what you’ve just done? [...] And it was your own sister you did this to!Sumire: That is utter bullshit! I’ve had enough of your lying! I have obtained proof from your mother and father that Saki is your sister! And what you just did to her and her friend is absolutely inexcusable!
- Empath: The Luckiest Smurf: Empath gives one to his fellow Smurfs in the novel, finishing it with the following:
"YOU SMURFS ARE NOTHING BUT A GROUP OF BACKWARD BLUE-SKINNED SAVAGES...and what's worse, I happen to be born as one of you!"
- Smurfette and Polaris Psyche both give Papa Smurf one in the alternate timeline of Papa Smurf marrying Smurfette after they both witness Papa Smurf slapping Sassette for daring to mention about Empath after he was disowned by Papa Smurf.
- In Sonic X: Dark Chaos, Maledict gives one to Jesus Christ while the two of them are dueling on the Typhoon's flight deck in Episode 75.
Maledict: What would you know of courage and honor, slave? Listen to you and your wretches yelling of courage and honor, courage and honor, courage and honor! Do you even know the meaning of those words? Courage is doing what must be done, no matter the cost! You know nothing of courage. Honor is protecting my universe from scum like you! You know nothing of honor. You Christians and Muslims and Jews! You rape and pillage and burn, you oppress the weak, you torment the innocent, you keep the universe down with delusions of salvation! You and your Goddess take all they have, but that's not enough for you!Jesus: Then you're a slave as much as I am - enslaved by your power, blind to the future. Too hateful to learn. Too spiteful to prosper.
Shadow: I made a promise to to a human I loved named Maria. I forgot that promise and I nearly wiped out an entire race because of it. You despise humans... and yet a human taught me the most valuable lesson of all; there are still things worth fighting for. Demon or Angel, it doesn't matter. I'm nobody's slave Maledict, especially not yours.
- Earlier in the same episode, Shadow also gives one the Maledict in response to the latter's We Can Rule Together offer.
- In the fanfic Written in the Stars, Fem!Kirk delivers a truly epic one to the Romulans. The fact that it's a cluster of F-Bombs shows just how pissed off she is.
Romulan: Everything Nero did, he did for the glory of the Romulan Empire.Kirk: No. He didn't. He did what he did because he lost his wife and unborn child – and he blamed the wrong people for that loss. In case you didn't know, Nero came from exactly 129 years into the future, which explains his ship and its technology. And if the Vulcans on this world don't enact their revenge, Romulus will be destroyed anyway. Because in exactly 129 years from now, a nearby star – that little bright flickering thing in the sky above your Empire – will go supernova. It'll destroy Romulus and its Empire with it, but in reality you would have destroyed yourselves.Romulan: Explain.Kirk: You would have destroyed yourselves because the only one willing to help you was a half-Human, half-Vulcan Ambassador who was too late to inject the Red Matter into the supernova. It stopped it, sure, but then he was chased through the black hole he created by Nero. But do you want to know why he was the only one willing to help you? Because you lot were a bunch of fucking fascist bastards who will spend the next century trying to destroy the Federation – the only ones who can save you! Not just that, but saying things like you just said doesn't make a lot of friends; that you were fucking proud of Nero's actions for destroying Vulcan and ending billions of lives! It's no wonder we didn't want to help you when you fucking assholes needed it! No wait, hold on...you felt you didn't need help because you believed there was nothing fucking wrong with that star. You thought it was a lie created by us in order to mask our supposed “dishonourable intentions”. Your inability to comprehend that we would want to help you, fucking blinded you all to the fact that the star was dying, and unless you get rid of that fucking single-mind of yours, you're going to end up like Vulcan sooner or later. Sooner if the Vulcans detonate the Red Matter, or later if the star dies and kills you all. So I suggest you all shut the fuck up, go and examine those so-called fucking heroes and the fucking star...and think very, very fucking hard about your actions for the next fucking century. I wish I could say this with hope and its true meaning; live long and prosper.
Kirk: Starfleet used to stand for something, and I see now that you need to be reminded of it; we explore, but we also protect. What you were doing to those people was wrong, and you know it. So instead of performing sick and twisted experiments on people, how about trying to help them?
- She later gives one to a group of Admirals when she discovers that they were keeping a bunch of colonists under mind control all in the name of a science experiment:
- The Big Bad Zoisite delivers this to the Crystal Gems in Chapter 11 of Magna Clades.
"Poor, unfortunate souls..." Zoisite spoke suavely to them after his big reveal. "...you have no one to help you but yourselves. Do you really think it matters in the end who I can take down?" He let out an impish chuckle. "Of course not. Because no matter what, you're going to protect those dirty, wretched humans who haven't any brains to distinguish what is pure and sacred and what isn't. A human's life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying..."He leaned over to the 'half-breed' boy Steven and whispered, no, almost mouthed with a rather sinister inflection, "...nothing."
- In Chapter 10 of Young and Beautiful, Rose Quartz of all Gems gives one to Zirconia when the latter is acting out on her jealousy of Greg.
Rose Quartz: You know, Zirconia, I understand that you've been very fond of me for the last few millenia or so; but what you just said was so unbelievably offensive that I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurt. How dare you suggest I'd have the nerve to just leave you to die at the hands of an old enemy. Is that how you expected to repay me after everything I've done for you, for Pearl, for Amethyst, for everybody? Maybe I was wrong about you...
- Marguerite (AKA Mistress Minor) gives one to Leader Acacia in Chapter 19 of All in the Family.
Mistress Minor: Hey! I don't know who you think you are, but if there's one thing I'm sure you could never be, it would be God.Warden: Marguerite... No...Mistress Minor: Dad, butt out. (focuses on Leader Acacia) You think you're so tough, don't you, Acacia? You think you can just sneer all you like and rule from your throne until your son Fidel is ready, don't you, Acacia? Well, I've got three words for you: Go. To. Hell. And I'll say them again. Go. To. Hell.Mistress Major: Maggie, darling, I don't think that's a good idea.Mistress Minor: And those threats about reducing me and my family and my friends to limbless, blind, deaf and sewn-up dummies? Guess what? They don't scare me one bit! Ha!Warden: Marguerite, I think that's quite enough.Mistress Minor: Dad, let me handle this. (focuses once again on Leader Acacia) I'm tired of waiting for this STUPID war to be over. And I'm tired of people like you who insist that the world revolves around them and that they know their destiny when they know nothing! I don't know my destiny but I don't feel the need to act confident that I do. And that's your worst flaw of all: overconfidence. You can't hurt us, like you say you can, anymore than my father's father has, or Lord Stingray when he first came to us, or the man who killed Grandma.
- We have a few of these in the Gensokyo 20XX series:
"Oh-ho-ho, you have some nerve calling me a whore, BITCH! I've sank to levels that you can never barely manage to even crawl, let alone drag yourself, back from and I live with regrets that still eat and claw away at my very being, so do you seriously think I will take being a called a whore by a lowlife bitchy paintbrush of a kitsune who has no place to talk? HELL NO! I've been called that so many times that, after awhile of that and unbearable suffering, over and over and over, again and again and again, until I ultimately felt broken with little else to live for and wanting no more than to die, "Whore" may as well have been my name! Do NOT call me WHORE!!"
- In 20XXIV, we get one from Mokou directed at Ran for her bitchy behavior:
"Am I gonna get hit? Okay, hit me! It won't change the fact that you're a bitch who's started to take her problems out on everyone else. Yeah, you've gone through hell, we all have, and Yukari, also known as Tosca has gone through what you've gone through, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, and, yet, she didn't turn into anything like you, BITCH! Now, before you think of sayin' anything, shut the hell up, mmkay. It's not the fact that you don't like to be touched, that of which almost caused you to be a small child through the wall, or the trauma you went through, which had to have been brutal, trust me, I know, it's the fact that you have other underlying problems that you've tried to shove away and would have done so if the box that is the deepest recesses of your being wasn't already full. Yeah, I can understand that you can and have to heal but that doesn't give you a reason be bitchy and damn near negligent. No, your fiancé, who I should note is extremely nice, doesn't want that from you and doesn't even bring it up but Chen wants her mom back and says she wants her to love her again. Not cool, as she's given up on life. Hell, you almost put a small child, Reimu, through a wall because she grabbed onto you, somethin' that she does when she wants to be held. Lemme axe ya' a questions, what the hell is ya' problem? The problem is with you is that you have never at all bothered to to talk about your problems to those who care and when they do show ya' some interests, you are quick to say, "Oh, it's fine." or push them away, much like you're doing now. So lemme axe ya a questions, why the hell is it you're a bitch?!"
- Also from 20XXIV, earlier, we get one from Chen directed at Miko for trying to hid her disability:
"YOU CAN SUCK MY ASS!! You have to tell someone that you are going blind and yet you won't, pretending everything's fine, when it isn't. I can't even use my left arm and leg and I go to the potty in a diaper but you don't see me pretending everything is the same and I know it isn't! Tell someone that you are going blind! You told me but why not them? They care about you, too, and yet you're pretending nothing is wrong, making everyone scared. You tell me to be quiet about it but, you know what? Being quiet won't do any good, this is something you have to tell about and you want to be quiet! Hell no! It won't do any good to be quiet because what is in the dark will come to light! Is that what you want, to be quiet and act like everything is fine,while you stagger around in darkness, living in misery and sadness? If you want to be quiet, fine, suck my ass and live in the misery and darkness that will soon be your life, the life you won't let anyone be the light to."
- We also get one from another from Chen during the events of 20XXV directed at Yume Ni for waiting, as well as wanting a then ill Reimu to die and it broke her:
"You're one to talk about having one foot in the grave and, yet, you bear a grudge to the point of madness! If Reimu died, would you be happy then?! I'll let you know, I won't be. You speak of that as if she is unaware, yet, she is. She is fully aware of that and, yet, she does nothing about it because she can't and, to be honest, try as we might, we can't do a thing about it either besides make her final years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds happy, as that is really what can be done, yet, despite that, she enjoys life anyway and that, it seems, cannot be taken from her. Sure, she stabbed you with a pair of scissors but, to be fair, you kicked her in her face and, be noted, she tried to stab with a pair of scissors that one time, you fucking dumbass! And, to be kinda honest, I wish she had strangled you, just to the point where, if you survived, the scars from which would remain forever, serving as a reminder of your foolishness. You speak of Reimu having one foot in the grave, when you were born not too long before a time of madness, the very which we still bleed and heal from, the very which death would have been mercy and most welcomed. We ALL have had one foot in the grave, so you are in no place to talk. Hell, your own mother has attempted suicide more than once, had gone insane during that time, and went through a self-destructive phase, as well as the fact that she's almost died giving birth, Yukari's mind went to shit and she's spent most of her time insane, even contemplating suicide to appease the ghosts, to put an end to the pain, I attempted suicide, and Reimu couldn't even talk coherently and her innocence betrayed her, leaving her with memories she cannot even cope with. Death for her would be both mercy and tragedy and, yet, should she die, her final memories of you would be how horrible you were to her. As she lays sick in that bed, I'm pretty sure she is thinking about how happy you or everyone will be when she's gone because, as far she knows, all she does is cause trouble and doesn't want to anymore. As a matter of fact, her very existence seem to be loathed by pretty much most of the world and you harbor the same animosity, treating her with the same cruelty. What you deal to someone will come back at you a thousand fold and you dealt Reimu pain, something she lacked the comprehension of, thus she dealt it back, with something that terrified you. If she dies of her illness, I will leave and that will be it but I will NEVER forgive you for how you've treated her. May Inari Ōkami have mercy on your soul for the sins you shall spend the remainder of your existence atoning for and suffering through."
- Earlier, we get one from Yukari to Paintbrush Bitch, when the latter called her a whore:
"All you do is complain of your life, yet you never do anything to make it better. If you hate your existence, then end it where it is. If you think ending mine will please you, then do it! Dance, fucker, dance! Do it! After all, you have nothing left to lose from putting an end to a little girl, especially one with nothing left to lose. What's the matter? What upsets you? Is it me or is it yourself? Dance, fucker, my patience is wearing thin! Hah-hah, you are just like all the rest, thinking the world owes you living, yet quick to complain. I don't want to be sick anymore and all I've done is to cause trouble, just a burden, and you complain! If you despise what is your existence, then end it. If you blame me for your misery, then, fine, end it, end it where it is! Do it! You have nothing left to lose from putting an end to a little girl. You complain of how miserable your life is, when no one wants to be someone else's burden or to be sick or different. I'M DYING, don't you understand that?! Aren't I dying? Aren't I? Nothing can be done about that and I don't complain. I should be complaining but complaining won't do a thing and neither will it make the sickness go away. You complain and bitch, when those that have the right don't!"
- Earlier, in 20XXV, when the kids go missing, Ren, the resident Nice Guy, tells off Paintbrush Bitch
"Pardon me, Miss, not meaning to be rude, but I think you are a total bitch and that your question is rather redundant because I care about them because I love them and they are very much like my own, especially since I've bonded with them, helped take care of them, sacrificed for them, and done almost everything for and with them, I cannot think of something horrible befalling them. They are but babies and that is the reason for the worry as people in this world, the real monsters, have no qualms about doing any of the things you've said. If anything, I do hope they either come back or that we will find them. They may not be your children but they are our children and we love them very much, also, we have lost far too many children and we needn't lose any more. Thank you for listening, fuck off, and shut the hell up."
- From chapter 101, we get this from Reimu to Baka and it shuts him up for awhile:
- In Life in Gensokyo Village we get one from Yukari directed towards Reimu's then Missing Mom:
"Listen, in some time, you may not care about this anymore so I'm just going to say what I have to say. Listen to me, I've always wanted to raise a family, to bear children of my own, but I CAN'T bear children and knowing I can't is something that has tortured me inside for a long time and it still does, rubbing salt even further in the wounds that already cannot heal. You bitch, I resent you deeply for reminding me of that and wanting the child you brought into this world back after you chose to give to someone else to play mother to and for squandering a gift that my own body denies me. If Reimu rejected you, then I'm sorry but you had it coming and it isn't like you didn't deserve it for being absent from her life from that period. If it weren't in Reimu's best interests for her to go back with you then I would have kept her and she was so happy with me."
- In 20XXIV, we get one from Mokou directed at Ran for her bitchy behavior:
- From Imperfect Metamorphosis, Yuuka delivers a particularly scathing one to Remilia towards the end of chapter 42.
Yuuka: "You're a corpse. A dead little girl, who should have been rotten away to nothing but maggot food hundreds of years ago, consigned to nothing but a skeleton and a stone with a name and two dates, if you were lucky. It is only because some other shambling corpse chose you for a meal that you remain. Do you comprehend, oh foul creature of the night? You're leftovers, a memory of a meal long discarded. So don't you dare go putting on airs with me, you pathetic, mewling quim! I can only pray that when your sister has been properly broken into and trained, she at least learns a measure of the humility that you are so sorely lacking."
- In Eugenesis, A time-displaced Optimus Prime gives a speech to a combined army of Autobots and Decepticons, telling them how they ruined Cybertron, and how they deserve to be enslaved by the Quintessons for what they've done, while at the same time delivering a Rousing Speech as well. To his horror, he gets applauded anyway.
- In the AU The Vampire Diaries story "Return To Mystic Falls" Vampire Caroline (who was turned not long after the Salvatores) gives one to Logan Fell after he has killed her descendant Sheriff Forbes
"You know I bet you probably think that becoming a vampire is the best thing that's ever happened to you. Not only can you be a womanizing prick but you can also kill the girls when you're done with them because you don't really care about them. You know I've killed my share of people and vampires just like you. Have fun in hell."
Jeremy: Why are you only thinking about yourself?Caroline:I'm not even thinking about myself here. I am thinking about you. Have you even thought about how you're going to get blood? Plus you need human blood to turn. The only reason that Vicki was able to turn was because she killed Logan. You're just a kid, Jeremy. Maybe you should try to live your life a little before you try to join the afterlife. You know what, I'm breaking up with you because you have this sense of entitlement right now and you need to grow up.
- In Chapter 14, Jeremy gives one to her after she kills Vicki for killing first and asking questions and also killing someone she swore to protect. She however gets him back later in the chapter after he asks her to turn him
- The Vampire Diaries fanfic "Yoana" has Katherine's sister Yoana give one to Klaus.
Yoana: "You hurt people for no reason. You think that the only way that you can get people to listen to you is to push them around. You keep your brothers in boxes because they won't leave you and now you want these hybrids under the assumption that they won't leave you as soon as they turn. You're such a pathetic old man that desperately wants friends without wanting to take any real initiative to make them."
Lexi: "Maybe I can't, but you're the one who is suffering. You're the one who is too much a wimp to turn it on. You want to be this big badass that doesn't even feel anything. Why don't you ask Klaus why he hasn't turned off his humanity? He might say that he doesn't feel anything, but what about that breakdown when all of his hybrids died? What about all of those times that he's put his siblings in boxes? Just because you can't be hurt by the sun anymore doesn't make you better. All turning into a wolf has left you with is tattered clothing. I may be dead, but I'm nowhere near as pathetic as you. You're afraid to feel things because you don't think that anyone will love you."
- She later receives one from Lexi after refusing to turn on her humanity back on
- In Tales of the Emperasque, Bjorn gives to Lorgar Grimnar and Leman Russ a lengthy rant about Space Wolves chapter falling from one of mightiest into a parody of itself, as he has been there to see it all.
Bjorn: Then clearly you haven't asked Grimnir how much our traditions have changed for the worse lately. I mean we used to use wolves as mounts maybe, symbols. We were literal wolves when overcome by the rage, and so on. But... lately, it's gotten to be so bad that it's actually a little embarrassing. (...) Can you even START to imagine what it was like, knowing for a fact that for the rest of TIME, I was going to be subjected to greater and greater desecrations of the Chapter, turning more and more into the furries the whole rest of the Adeptus Astartes have been calling us from the beginning; and all I can do about it is stress the parts of the legends that don't have wolves in them? All I can do is pray and pray in the few free minutes I get before they put me back to sleep that MAYBE, just MAYBE, they'll remember I have a lightning claw and a rocket launcher for arms, and put me back to GOOD use, instead of just using me like a ‘Baby's First History Holovid,’ and I'll get to go rip some Thousand Sons in half or something, rather than THIS! Fuck me raw and call me a Salamander, If the Blood Ravens want to use me for what I was BUILT for rather than that, they can paint me hot pink and call me a Pretty Marine!
- Played straight and then subverted in With This Ring when Father Matias attempts to exorcise the Ophidian out of Paul by giving it a Breaking Speech aimed at deconstructing Paul's motive for fusion dancing with it.
Father Matias: When you were in the false world you wanted to help your friends and your world. To achieve that end you wanted the Ophidian, a creature that is want manifested, to join forces with you.Ophidian!Paul: Yes?Father Matias: You wanted it, even knowing that it would most likely leave you unrecognisable in body and mind, if not soul.Ophidian!Paul: Yes.Father Matias: You wanted it more than you wanted to remain you.Ophidian!Paul (feeling pleased): Yes.Father Matias: The two of you pursued your aim until the scenario reaches its conclusion, at which point... The whole thing is revealed as an illusion. Your initial justification, the very thing which made you want to do something that you would never do under normal circumstances, was revealed to be a response to a situation which never really existed.Ophidian!Paul (beginning to Freak Out)Father Matias: That was the real reason for your confusion. You might have accepted having your mind altered as the price of saving your friends, but just letting it have the run of your body? No, you wouldn't do that. Then, when Miss Martian started showing signs of distress-You had something to want again. As long as you want something, the elemental within you has a hold on you. Have you slept since the end of the training scenario? You have the power of a pagan god and you spent the morning making ice cream. Paul, is that gain proportionate to what you gave up? Would you make the decision that you made in the training scenario if all that was at stake was ice cream?Ophidian!Paul: He likes the ice cream!
Ophidian!Paul: Now, we have a question for you. Who is taking over M'gann's telepathy training?Black Canary:J'onn is-.Ophidian!Paul: No. If this debacle has proven anything it is that his abilities as a teacher are sadly deficient. M'gann needs a competent teacher.Black Canary: Do you blame him for what happened to you?Ophidian!Paul: Yes. To Orange Lantern and to our team mates. The Ophidian.. objected less.Black Canary: That seems a little harsh. He was as much in danger as the rest of you.Ophidian!Paul: He failed to assess the strength of M'gann's telepathic abilities in advance of the scenario. He did not investigate the effect of telepathic effects on power rings, despite working with two Green Lanterns for several years. He did not ask Orange Lantern about specific risk factors relating to the orange light. He decided to use a high stress scenario for our first use of that training technique instead of starting with something more basic. And when he entered, he was overwhelmed by our emotional response to the situation. Do Martians not study lucid dreaming? Self hypnosis? Why did he not bring in another telepath to oversee his attempts to liberate us? Why did he not use a psi-baffle or inhibitor collar on M'gann from outside? A catalogue of errors. He may be a highly effective police officer but he has demonstrated himself as an inadequate teacher.Black Canary: That...I.. Some of that may be reasonable-."
- Ophidian!Paul gives one about Martian Manhunter to Black Canary.
- Played straight and then subverted in Ultimate Sleepwalker: The New Dreams, when Psyko has led an army of brainwashed supervillains in a mass invasion and beaten Sleepwalker to within an inch of his life. Sleepwalker, already half-made with guilt over Psyko's creation, completely loses his mind and tries to kill his human host Rick Sheridan. It takes some Epiphany Therapy from Rick to bring Sleepwalker around, and when Sleepy comes back for round two, Psyko tries the speech again, only for Sleepwalker to throw it right back in his face with a Shut Up, Hannibal! retort of his own.
- See It My Way in The Harmon Verse had the Original Character, Jack Harmon, unleashes one on Figgins
Jack: Here's an idea. Why don't you grow a set and learn how to play the game? You let the Cheerios get away everything under the two suns of Jupiter and what they do isn't even worth the price of admission. You have a chance to have winners in this school at something, anything, and you are too stupid to see it.
- In Return Of The Primarchs, Sanguinus makes one to Astarte chapter Angels Penitent, once Angels Resplendent, when he realizes that they've turned into a fanatical nightmare.
Sanguinus: This is not purity. This is a Nightmare. You were the exemplars of what we could be. (...) You are not my sons. You are an insult to me and the Emperor. You are animals, and I am putting you down!
- In the Katawa Shoujo fanfic, Reconciliation, Hanako gets one from a grief-stricken Lilly, when she tries to offer her comfort after Hisao's funeral. While Hanako agrees with the criticism, she also realizes that the speaker did not mean what she said.
Lilly: “SHUT UP! You don’t know what I’m going through! You didn’t just lose the most important person in your life! You haven’t had your entire world shattered without warning or reason! I don’t have the same luxury you have! When things get too tough, you know what you do, Hanako? You just run away!”
- In Part 2 of the fan-made Cold Case Season 8 premiere "The Company", the Victim of the Week, ex-CIA agent Jeff Royce, gives one to his murderer and former boss at the CIA, Bob Garrison right before he's killed note :
Jeff: This was never about national security. This was about saving your own ass. You know, it's funny. If you'd left him alone, he would've taken it to his grave. All he wanted to do was forget everything that happened, start over here. But you just couldn't stand the fact that someone somewhere had something on you, that something was out of your control.Garrison: I've spent nearly thirty years protecting American lives. I don't have to justify myself to you. Now you better decide if some camel jockey's worth it, Jeff, because you've got a lot more to lose than I do.Jeff: You don't scare me. Anything happens to my family, they go missing, have an accident, I've made arrangements to have everything come out.And just for the record, he's more American than you'll ever be.Garrison: (raises gun) Where is he!?
- The Suite Life on Deck story Roommates has Bailey give one to Cody calling him out on his behavior that he displayed in the show after she starts showing interest in Zack. Also keep in mind she is suffering from amnesia.
"Well even if everything that you say is true, I can tell that Zack is a good fellow. You, on the other hand have done nothing but make statements to draw attention to your own intelligence and you seem to think that you are the smartest person in the world. You make it seem like I don't have a choice in who I want to date. Well I do, and I choose him.
- Be the Sea Dweller Lowblood's version of Karkat gets these all. The. Time. It's implied that if he wasn't the Imperious Grand Advisier, second-in-command of the enormous troll empire, he'd be getting even more. Unfortunately for the deliverers, his bottomless pit of self-loathing and pension for kissmessitude mean that, more often than not, they just end up turning him on.
- In A Certain Crazy Christmas Special, Touma says this against Bad Santa:
"Let's settle this you imposter," Touma yelled.Santa glared. "What did you just call me?""You heard me. You may have been assigned the name, you may have been mocked and ridiculed for it but you have done nothing to earn it! You don't bring happiness to good children by giving out presents; you do the complete opposite and steal for your own selfish gains. Face it magician. You are nothing but a crazy old coot hiding behind a facade. You are not Santa and I'm going to shatter the illusion that you have anything to do with this holiday!"
- Chapter 5 of Keena & the Defendants of Constan Magic Academy has Keena doing this in a Dream Sequence to Junko, likely a possible Take That and Lampshade Hanging on how both anime and manga adaptations of Demon King Daimao don't really expand their implied friendship:
Keena: Junko…you never really tried being friends with me. I did try, but you were too occupied being selfish in trying to either try to befriend Akuto or kill him. You're kind of a constant enigma, never understanding the word "misunderstanding", always trying to look cool that you're in a notable family. When you and Akuto were on an arranged marriage, you never bothered to invite me, so I had to stay alone on the Acadamy. Look how good that turned out! Do you also even remember what happened on the beach school? I accidentially caused a sea cucumber to spray all over you, and despite me trying to tell you "sorry" and trying you just told me "to stay the hell away", which hurted my feelings! You're just a quick-to-judge kind of person! You care for yourself, your family, maybe Akuto, but nothing more! You don't care about having friends! At least I was shy, which explains why I struggled, but look at you, you were class representative! You've hurt my feelings twice and God knows how your selfish behavior could've hurted more. I once said you and Akuto were best friends…but maybe I should've shared more… I've changed a bit, and while the previous me wouldn't be annoyed, I am now. I hopefully should never see you again, you shallow-headed, uncaring, bitchy, JACKASS!
- In the Rise of the Guardians fic Guardian of Light, the main character, Helen, gives a rather epic one to Pitch, her biological father.
Helen: Whoa! Who are you to tell me what to do?Pitch: I'm your father!Helen: Oh, that makes perfect sense! Yes, you're my father! Who, for the last couple of centuries, has been parading across the planet scaring the pants off little kiddies and trying to plunge the world into darkness! And when you finally realize that you have a daughter you not only kidnap me and try and turn me into a creature of darkness, but you also think you have the right to tell me who I can and can't date! Actually, just who I can't date!Pitch: It is a parent's job to make sure their child does exactly as they say!Helen: (punches him) What kind of father tries to turn his own daughter into some kind of shadow being? If you really cared about me you would do what was best for me, instead of what's best for yourself. I can't be forced to be someone I don't want to be.
- In the Glee story A Different Direction, Faith Hudson gives one to April Rhodes:
Shut up! You are an alcoholic, loser, criminal whore. I'd like to see what Mr. Schue ever saw in you because I don't see a single redeeming quality about you. I think you need to get the fuck out of here before I call the cops and you get labelled as a sex offender for the rest of your life.
- She also gives one to Kurt, mirroring Finn's speech in "Theatricality", although more focused on how Kurt always thinks he's right and didn't even ask for her opinion when decorating their room.
- In Yu-Gi-Oh! The Thousand Year Door Redux, it gradually becomes clear that the Shadow Queen's six children aren't working for her out of any sense of love or loyalty, but mostly out of fear, and that she abuses them horribly. They even try to turn against her in one scene. In the Final Battle, when Stan finds out that her now-deceased first six offspring hated her enough to try to kill her, he really lets her have it, with the help of the supporting cast, and it is the biggest factor in her true self Fighting from the Inside afterwards:
Stan: What? They… Kill you? They…Shadow Queen: I could never prove it… but I faced numerous attempts on my life after I made them governors of the towns of Arcadia, and more than likely, most of them came via their order. Possibly a few of them collaborated on a couple. But I…Stan: That's not the point! (Beat) Are you a fan of Greek Mythology, Iris? You may remember how in the creation myth, Cronos overthrew his cruel father, Uranus. But he proved a crueler tyrant, and his own son, Zeus, returned the favor and overthrew him. I used to read Arthurian legends a lot too. Some versions say that Sir Mordred – you know, the traitor – was actually King Arthur’s son, sired on his half-sister Morgan Le Fey, who seduced him in disguise. And those are just the old stories. Browse a bookshelf or DVD section anywhere, and it won’t take you long to find a story where a father and one of his offspring are enemies… Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader, the Wizard and Elphaba in Wicked...Aesop: Speaking of Darth Vader and the Dark Side, Superman had an enemy named Darkseid, and his son hated his guts tooRaven: Anyone here ever see a movie called Gladiator? Commodus killed his father in that movie to become emperor.Kyle: Let’s not even get into how often that sort of thing happens in soap operas. I once read that was the case on All My Children a lot with Dr. Madden.Shadow Queen: All right, enough with the fan club! Is there a point to this pop culture lesson?Stan: They only strengthened the point I was eventually going to make, really. Notice what gender the parent was in all of those cases?(Dead Silence)Stan: It’s almost always a case of the son or daughter turning against the father. Turning against your dad seems common, almost a cliché. Your mother? Almost unheard of. The first case I mentioned, the one with Zeus… Rhea was one of the few Titans who was spared, because she helped her son. Zeus and the other Olympians owed her their lives. Think about it, Iris! Why are stories about dark, sadistic villains who turn against their mothers so rare and stories about ones who threaten a crueler fate against people who insult their mothers so common? The rare times you come across someone who does commit matricide, he’s thought of as the lowest of low, despised and reviled, even among other evils of the world. Why is this? I’ll tell you why. Human nature. People can’t help but be close to their mothers, you know. It’s easy to see why… It’s hard to make yourself hate the woman who carried you for nine months, fed you when you were a small child, held you close when you woke up from nightmares, and took care of you when you were sick with a cold. Freud said a lot of bizarre things, but he had the right idea when he said that a child is drawn to his mother in a bond that can’t be severed…. But you… To think that you’re so rotten than you severed the bond completely with all six of them, so much that they conspired to kill you? Not a single one of them was loyal? (Chuckles a little.) You know, I once read somewhere that even Genghis Khan was pretty close to his mom… She was his advisor occasionally, and she raised children who were orphaned by his raids. Beat Oh, did I hit a nerve? note