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* Jonah's failed attempt to seem "street"
--> '''Jonah:''' ''(to a group of men sitting on the curb)'' Sittin' on the coh-nuh! \\
'''Man:''' What? \\
'''Jonah:''' Nothing. ''(crosses the street in the other direction with an awkward half-jog)''

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** After Jonah uses this to ask Furlong for a new office, Furlong merely says that idea is "interesting" and [[ImpliedDeathThreat offers him to go down into the wine cellar with him to pick out a new bottle]]. As soon as his wife leaves the room, Furlong proceeds to rip Jonah a new one. And it's actually kind of impressive how fast he imagines to switch from speaking entirely in expletive insults to speaking as if he's saying grace at the table.
-->'''Furlong:''' I would sooner gouge out your eye and fuck your skull -- ''[Mrs. Furlong enters the room]'' -- from here, to the end of time. That's what we're promised: that Jesus is our Lord.

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** After Jonah uses this to ask Furlong for a new office, Furlong merely says that idea is "interesting" and [[ImpliedDeathThreat offers him invites Jonah to go down into the wine cellar with him to pick out a new bottle]]. As soon as When his wife leaves the room, room to get the new bottle instead, Furlong proceeds to rip Jonah a new one. And it's actually kind of impressive how fast he imagines manages to switch from speaking entirely in expletive insults to speaking as if he's saying grace at the table.
-->'''Furlong:''' --->'''Furlong:''' I would sooner gouge out your eye and fuck your skull -- ''[Mrs. Furlong enters the room]'' -- from here, to the end of time. That's what we're promised: that Jesus is our Lord. \\
'''Mrs. Furlong:''' Amen.
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* Dan's self-confidence is shaken when he can't charm the closeted megadonor Felix Wade and the catty remarks from the younger men as he's sent off.
** Kent's encyclopedic knowledge extends to gay male subcommunities, as he is able to identify that Dan is "between a Wolf and an Otter, what some might call a 'Frost Otter'"
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* When Marjorie continues to win at the county fair shooting gallery game, the carnie asks if she used to be a soldier.
--> '''Marjorie:''' ''(emotionless)'' I was an agricultural advisor, nothing more.


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** Amy doubts that the sedative for the procedure will work on her... right up until it kicks in.

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* Tom is not pleased to be forced into being Economy Czar.
--> '''Tom:''' (sarcastically) Prosperity is just around the corner.
* The financial crisis leaves Selina desperate enough to convene a Symposium on Race... except all of the panellists they've assembled are white.

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* "I just had to get away from the Hindu grim reaper"



-->'''Selina''': Ease her passing. Ease it all.[[Film/TheWiz Ease it down the...]]

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-->'''Selina''': Ease her passing. Ease it all. [[Film/TheWiz Ease it down the...]]
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* When Selina meets with Sherman Tanz to ask him to donate more money to build her library, he remarks that he loves presidential libraries and is on the board of the Nixon Library.
--> '''Tanz:''' The miserable anti-Semite... but a great friend of Israel!
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* Jonah declares that since [[InsaneTrollLogic math was created thousands of years ago by Islamists, then math teachers are terrorists and will ban "this Sharia math from our schools!"]]

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* Jonah declares that that, since [[InsaneTrollLogic math modern mathematcs was created thousands of years ago by Islamists, then Islamic scholars, [[InsaneTrollLogic all math teachers are terrorists and will America needs to ban "this Sharia math from our schools!"]]

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* Selina constantly having to add "And AIDS" to her "Literacy Campaign" as she realizes it needs more punch.

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* In the middle of announcing her new charitable foundation, the Meyer Fund for Adult Literacy, Selina constantly having to add realizes that illiteracy doesn't have enough punch as an issue so she abruptly adds "And AIDS" to her "Literacy Campaign" as she realizes it needs more punch. AIDS".


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** This sets off a RunningGag of Selina constantly adding new issues to the charity's mandate. By the end of the season the charity's name is the Meyer Fund for Adult Literacy, AIDS, the Advancement of Global Democracy, Military Family Assistance, and Childhood Obesity.


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** Mike's refrain as he smashes things is yelling "pay me, bitch!" (referencing that Selina hasn't paid him for any work and that Andrew scammed him), Selina then joins in yelling "Yeah, pay him you bitch!"
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* Ben showing no issues with his Uber bosses dropping about how it's okay to call something a "Chinese hustle" when he's "married to an Oriental woman."

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* Ben showing no issues with is fired from his job as a political consultant for Uber bosses dropping about how it's okay to call something a "Chinese hustle" when he's "married he tells a board meeting that they need to an Oriental woman."get their proposal in front of a specific congressman or they won't stand a "Chinaman's chance". He proceeds to [[DiggingYourselfDeeper dig himself a deeper hole]] when called out on the racist and outdated phrasing by claiming NWordPrivileges since his wife is "Oriental", and in fact he might have "[[RaceFetish Yellow Fever]]" since all of his wives have been Asian.



* The show finally parodies the [=#MeToo=] movement, as a woman (played by Heidi Gardner from ''Saturday Night Live'') who once had a business lunch with Jonah comes forward to publicly admit that she never dated him, inspiring the [=#NotMe=] Movement, as dozens of women likewise come forward to say they've [[ButtMonkey never dated Jonah, nor do they find him attractive enough to ever go out with him]].

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* The show finally parodies the [=#MeToo=] movement, as a woman (played by Heidi Gardner from ''Saturday Night Live'') who once had a business lunch with Jonah comes forward to publicly admit that she never dated him, inspiring him. This inspires the [=#NotMe=] Movement, as dozens of women likewise come forward to say they've [[ButtMonkey never dated Jonah, he never acted in a sexual improper way around them, nor do they find him attractive enough to ever go out with him]].

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* Selina's eye procedure which has her eyes surrounded with bright red skin.

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* Selina's Selina is using the Thanksgiving holiday weekend to have an eye procedure which has lift done, because it will result in her eyes being surrounded with bright red skin.bruising.



* Selina protests Gary around as he "doesn't have any academic qualifications to speak of."

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* Selina protests Gary around as he "doesn't have any academic qualifications to speak of."


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* Minna cheerily greets Selina by remarking that the last time they saw each other was when Selina didn't vote for her to be head of the IMF.
** In response to Selina's small talk about Minna's new hairstyle: "Thank you, I had more highlights. And you changed your eyelids! You look more alert."
** "The menopause has really taken ahold of me."


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* Due to a mix-up, the Chinese delegation sees Catherine making out with Marjorie from behind and think it was Selina.
* When the Chinese offer to free Tibet, Selina's team stops caring about their initial goal to have them open new factories in battleground states
-->'''Selina:''' Well they should have tried going to college, worry about your own unemployment in Finland! \\
'''Minna:''' We don't have unemployment in Finland.
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* "Congressman Furlong, to what do we owe this pleasure slash skin crawling sensation?"
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* Jonah is waiting for a British reporter in a garage all by himself à la ''Film/AllThePresidentsMen''. His interactions with the officer is hilarious.

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* Jonah is waiting for to meet a British reporter in a garage all by himself à la ''Film/AllThePresidentsMen''. His interactions with the A police officer is hilarious. thinks Jonah's there to meet a man for a hook-up.



* Gary has kept an important gift, a pair of shoes, for Selina on the occasion that she should give her first inaugural speech as president. Selina can barely contain her non-excitement.
--> '''Gary:''' The perfect shoe for the perfect moment in the perfect life of the perfect woman.
--> '''Ben:''' This is like Creator/KathyBates in ''{{Literature/Misery}}''.
** The shoes make a squeaking noise with every step Selina takes. After she returns from the speech.

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* Gary has kept an important gift, a pair of shoes, for Selina on the occasion that she should give her first inaugural speech as president. Selina can barely contain her non-excitement.
--> '''Gary:''' The perfect shoe for the perfect moment in the perfect life of the perfect woman.
-->
woman. \\
'''Ben:''' This is like Creator/KathyBates in ''{{Literature/Misery}}''.
** The shoes make a loud squeaking noise with every step Selina takes.takes, which is audible for her entire long walk to and from the podium before and after her speech. After she returns from the speech.

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* Selina, on a call mid-flight with her staff back in DC, berates them for letting Doyle in on the data breach:
-->'''Selina:''' Why in the name of pixelated fuck would you do that?! My God! And can you please use code when we're talking about this? Use the word - I don't know - "cupcake" instead of "data" and use "happy" instead of "bereaved" or something?\\
'''Bill:''' It binds us to him. Infects him. And elements of his office were CC'ed on emails mentioning the breach.\\
'''Kent:''' Exactly, he will be as involved as the rest of us in targeting happy parents after stealing cupcakes about their dead children ''[makes a face]''.\\
'''Selina:''' Fine! Inject him with the happy cupcake virus, all right?
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There are some practices, however, that require a firm stance. Such as female genital mutilation. And our stance must be — ''(teleprompter: unequivocal denouncement)'' — who are we to judge?

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There are some practices, however, that require a firm stance. Such as female genital mutilation. And our stance must be — ''(teleprompter: unequivocal denouncement)'' "unequivocal denouncement")'' — who are we to judge?
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[...]

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[...]] \\

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* Selina enjoys the high life of being an international deal broker with Jaffar.
--> '''Selina:''' This is what the Arab Spring was all about right? International arms deals and the exploitation of Third World resources.




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* Mike, who slathered his face in white sunscreen, looks like "the world's least fucked geisha."
* Selina needs to water down her speech to the Arab Conference on Human Rights.
--> '''Selina:''' Women's rights are human rights, and human rights — ''(shot of teleprompter saying "And human rights are non-negotiable)'' a-are part of a diverse pageant of different priorities. \\
[...]
There are some practices, however, that require a firm stance. Such as female genital mutilation. And our stance must be — ''(teleprompter: unequivocal denouncement)'' — who are we to judge?
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* Selina chatting with one of her predecessors.
--> '''Stevenson:''' Can you even have a library? I would think it would be more of a bookmobile. \\
'''Selina:''' Oh my goodness, you're so funny. If only the American people could've known you for your sense of humor, instead of your bizarre indifference to Apartheid.
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* "Speaking as the former president of the United States, truth and justice can gargle my balls!"

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* "Catherine, out!"



--> '''Selina:''' Oh are you divorced?
--> '''Charlie:''' Oh yeah, proudly.
--> '''Selina:''' Yeah. Best thing me and my husband ever did. Including our daughter.
* "Catherine, out!"

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--> '''Selina:''' Oh are you divorced?
-->
divorced? \\
'''Charlie:''' Oh yeah, proudly.
-->
proudly. \\
'''Selina:''' Yeah. Best thing me and my husband ever did. Including our daughter.
* "Catherine, out!"
Selina greets a member of the banking task force, but the one thing she remembers is out of date.
--> '''Selina:''' Eli! How is, um, Susan? \\
'''Gary:''' They're divorced. \\
'''Selina:''' —not in jail for what she did to you?

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* Kent criticizing Ben's approach to crisis management.
-->'''Kent:''' Your idea of crisis management is to run around yelling "We're fucked, bury me!" \\
'''Ben:''' (''{{Beat}}'') We're ''fucked'', bury me!
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* Amy: "If anyone asks for me, I have gone outside to scream into the night."

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* Selina gets a little carried away with the "ch"s when greeting the Israeli delegation.
--> '''Selina:''' Prime Minister Ben-Achim... Mrs. Ben-Achim... Welcome to the White Ch-ouse.
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** If you pay attention, you can see the other actors are working very hard to stifle their own laughter at Peter McNichol's performance.

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** If you pay attention, you can see the other actors are working very hard to stifle their own laughter at Peter McNichol's [=McNichol's=] performance.

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