History Funny / LukeCage2016

* In Season Two, Luke gets his abilities tested, and his run time is 3.72 seconds, which a news reporter says is faster than Usain Bolt. The entire Jamaican community acts like Luke himself said it, [[SeriousBusiness and proceed to give him shit about it for the rest of the season]].

** The swear jar.

'''Luke Cage:''' Detective. [[BrickJoke Looks like you found some better clothes to audit in]].

-->'''Luke:''' You look like a damn fool!

-->'''Luke:''' Why don't we start by getting some coffee first.\\
'''Claire:''' I'm not sleeping with you.\\
'''Luke:''' Whoa! Did I say anything about that?! Why can't coffee just be coffee, huh?\\
'''Claire:''' Okay, you didn't even touch your coffee this morning. You drank the orange juice. Okay? You don't drink coffee.

* Luke's father referencing Titanic, to Claire's amusement. They quickly mock the fact that the door had enough place for both Rose and Jack.

-->'''Turk:''' I heard he kicked your ass and bounced.\\
'''Luke:''' Hey, for the last time man, it was the other way around! [-"Kicked my ass..."-]

--->'''Luke:''' You smoke?

--->'''Turk:''' ''[while Luke and Danny are leaving]'' Hey! You gonna pay for that!?\\
'''Luke:''' Bill me!

-->'''Luke:''' Patty-Cake.\\
'''Danny:''' ''[{{beat}}]'' ''What?''

'''Danny:''' Eh. Only way to be sure. Besides, I got Rand to purchase the building and the lot underneath it, so no harm done. I mean, it's not like I'm gonna pursue a complaint, is it?

-->'''Luke:''' Hey, look man, between me and you. That dragon that you fought. That was metaphorical, right? It wasn't actually real?\\
'''Danny:''' ...''[FacePalm]'' Man, I don't get you. You can accept that you're bulletproof, right ''[Luke nods]'' And you can accept that my hand it... it glows? ''[Luke nods again]'' [[ArbitrarySkepticism But you can't accept a dragon?]]\\
'''Luke:''' ...[[BrutalHonesty Hell no]].

[[caption-width-right:350: [[WhatAnIdiot And this isn't the last time someone tries to punch him...]]]]

* It's BlackComedy at its finest, but let's face it, the incredibly abrupt jump cut from Connie embracing Luke to [[spoiler: Cottonmouth launching a bazooka at them]] is jarringly funny.
** The music during that scene just makes it even better; it just snaps from heartwarming to cartoony the instant the scene cuts to [[spoiler:Cottonmouth.]]
** Not to mention Luke's [[OhCrap reaction]] to the [[spoiler:incoming rocket]].

** The line's even funnier on rewatch, [[spoiler:knowing that Shades himself is going to become a snitch towards the end of the season.]]

* Cottonmouth shows up at Pop's barbershop with Tone and Shades, obviously looking for Chico. Their entry is accompanied by suspenseful music, they have very intimidating poses, like some serious gangster shit is about to go down, and then [[GilliganCut the scene immediately cuts to Cottonmouth getting a haircut]].

-->'''Luke Cage:''' New VH1 show? ''Criminal Spinsters''?\\

* D.W. Griffith being the avatar for everyone in the audience who was waiting for the Luke and Danny teamup.

-->'''Luke Cage:''' New VH1 show? ''Criminal Spinsters''?
-->'''Mariah Dillard:''' Who you callin' a spinster? I'd wear your narrow ass ''out''.

-->'''Darius "Comanche" Jones:''' "GO!" Like I'm some damn dog! ''[laughs]'' You-you, you don't say a word! By the way, what's up with all this American gigolo shit you're on, man? ''[[[BerserkButton Shades whips off his sunglasses and gives Comanche a harsh glare]]; Comanche hastily backpedals]'' I ain't making no judgements, all right? ''[Shades puts his sunglasses back on and they resume walking]'' I mean look, you get in where you fit in. Literally. I just wish Rackham had picked us for that experimental shit, y'know? Think about all the shit that we'd be running if we were bulletproof, man. We'd be unstoppable!
-->'''Hernan "Shades" Alavrez:''' Stop talking. We're here.

-->'''Arturo Rey:''' What are you doing in my store?\\

* Comanche attempts to convince Shades that Sugar may be the snitch. Unfortunately, he's just such a terrible liar that Shades sees right through him:

* DW geeks out a little bit over Danny Rand being in the barber shop. He likes the idea of Power Man and Iron Fist. He kinda digs Danny and Luke meditating together. But then holds up the glowing iron fist and DW quietly wets himself, realizing he had ''no'' goddamn clue.

-->'''Shades:''' [[LampshadeHanging Well that was quick...]]

-->'''Misty Knight:''' Turk.
-->'''Turk Barrett:''' ''[strained politeness]'' Misty.
-->'''Misty Knight:''' I'm surprised to see you this far uptown.
-->'''Turk Barrett:''' I'm mostly Midtown nowadays, you know? Puffy ain't got shit on me, baby. I'm the real bad boy worldwide.
-->'''Misty Knight:''' Yeah, your rap sheet got so many hits, your record could put out a record.
-->'''Turk Barrett:''' Hey, I just fell through to see my man, Bobby Fish, and to play some chess.
-->'''Misty Knight:''' Well, you need to fall your ass back downtown, 'cause if I catch you around here again it's gonna be checkmate. Understood? Mr. Barrett?
-->'''Turk Barrett:''' I hear you... ''Detective''. Loud and clear.

'''Koko:''' ''[gets up and, still reading his book, then turns to Cottonmouth]'' It's...It's the benign neglect. What I'm saying is this: [[HeroicNeutral maybe if we leave this Luke Cage cat alone: let him take his side of the street, and we take ours.]] (''Gives an "I'm just saying'" shrug'')\\

--->'''Luke Cage:''' You really think Chico killed his friend? Over money?

* As Misty and Scarfe walk up to the barbershop, hoping to find Chico there, they cross paths with Turk.

** Then Misty and Scarfe go into the barbershop. Luke and Pop are hiding Chico in the backroom. Luke of course, [[BrickJoke can't help but remind Misty of the one-night stand they had in the previous episode]]:
--->'''Misty Knight:''' You are?\\

'''Luke Cage:''' Detective. Looks like you found some better clothes to audit in.

'''Hernan "Shades" Alvarez:''' It belongs to Mariah. But ''I'm'' in charge. Do you understand? ''[no response]'' Good. Oh, and do me a favor. ''[Shades shoves a wad of $100s into Zip's hands]'' Buy some new clothes. Please. We're first class all the way.\\

-->''"Hey, yo, my man, my man! All HD, got it right here on UsefulNotes/BluRay too 'cause I'm nice like that: [[Comicbook/IronMan Tony Stark]], [[Film/{{Thor}} the big blonde dude with the hammer]], [[ComicBook/CaptainAmerica the old dude with the shield]], [[Comicbook/TheIncredibleHulk the Green Monster]], and I don't mean [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Monster Fenway]]! You can't get better raw footage of 'the Incident' anywhere else than right here!"''

* Cottonmouth shows up at Pop's barbershop with Tone and Shades, obviously looking for Chico. Their entry is accompanied by suspenseful music, like serious gangster shit is about to go down, and then [[GilliganCut the scene immediately cuts to Cottonmouth getting a haircut]].

'''Cornell "Cottonmouth" Stokes:''' [[BondOneLiner YOU CAN COLLECT YOUR MONEY FROM TONE DOWNSTAIRS, MR. BARRETT!]] ''[calmly]'' I assume that completes our business.\\

* Cottonmouth and his guys deliver Shameek's money to Mariah's office. At one point during the exchange, Mariah notices Shades staring at her intently and asks Cottonmouth, "Does your guard dog want a drink of water?" Even funnier is the fact that Shades really does look incredibly thirsty.

---> '''Luke:''' Sweet Sister!

'''Luke Cage:''' Looks like Shaft ain't had nothing on Henry Hunter. Pop was a mack.

* When Luke Cage refers to Mariah as a spinster, her response is "Who you callin' a spinster? I'd wear your narrow ass ''out''." It's so brazen and out of nowhere that it's kind of hilarious.

* Luke goes to Colon's Gym to talk to Domingo. After fighting off a few of Domingo's men, a couple of them point guns at him.

''[[[ShootingSuperman Domingo's men empty their guns into Luke. Their bullets just ricochet off him, and hit everything else in the gym. The only damage to Luke is that they put lots of bullet holes in his jacket]]]''\\
'''Luke Cage:''' ...I'm about sick of always having to buy new clothes.

-->'''Insp. Priscilla Ridley:''' You should be at Rikers right now, but I held you. Because I think you have something to say.\\

'''Insp. Priscilla Ridley:''' I know your record, Mr. Alvarez. Came up in Harlem, rode around with Cottonmouth in the late '90s, spent some time at Spofford, Sing Sing, then you made it to the big time. Went to Seagate.\\

'''Insp. Priscilla Ridley:''' Cornell Stokes is dead, yet you're still alive. And I've never seen an arraignment happen so quickly. $2 million bail? And someone paid it in cash. Who's your new sponsor? ''[beat]'' Is it Willis Stryker?\\

'''Insp. Priscilla Ridley:''' You were part of a hostage situation, Hernan. Even if your lawyer does get you out, you won't be walking away from that. That's multiple kidnapping with weapon charges. How does 25 years to life sound to you? Minimum.\\

'''Insp. Priscilla Ridley:''' Yep.\\

'''Insp. Priscilla Ridley:''' Okay, we can protect you, but I need a name to verify. Who was it? Was it Stryker?\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alvarez:''' He goes by....."lawyer". ''[beat]'' Do you need me to spell it? ''[Ridley storms out of the interrogation room while Shades [[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor breaks out laughing]]]''

'''Insp. Priscilla Ridley:''' [[IronicEcho First name "Law". Last name "Yer".]] Must be pretty damn connected to get a lawyer and not even know who she is.\\

** And after the fight, when Luke and Claire are having a tender moment, the guy tries to start filming again, only for the Blu-Ray salesman to push the camera back down. "Brother deserves some discretion!"

* Bobby Fish laments to D.W. how Luke is becoming more and more of a prop for others' amusement with the rise of the Harlem's Hero App. The conversation is even interrupted at one point by one such obsessed fan with a selfie stick coming in the barbershop, who Bobby and D.W. nonchalantly shoo away before resuming their conversation.

* Learning about Arturo Rey's identity, Luke finds he's one of several crimelords Mariah has summoned to Harlem's Paradise for a deal. As he makes his way up to Mariah's office, he's stopped by Comanche, standing guard outside. Comanche pulls his gun and Luke just taps him out in the most nonchalant way possible. The ruckas prompts the visiting gangsters, plus Mariah and Shades to emerge, with the gangsters pointing their guns at Luke. Luke just casually twists Comanche's gun and tosses it to Shades (who is the only one of the armed individuals who's smart enough not to draw down).

** BlackComedy ensues as they meet with Arturo, who's unhappy about his legal problems and is now threatening to go to Misty.:

* Tilda agrees to have breakfast with her mother at her brownstone. As she is reminiscing with Mariah about the things she remembers from the house as a kid, the conversation is abruptly interrupted by Shades showing up to inform Mariah about Cockroach's situation.
** What makes it funnier is that [[StealthHiBye we don't even hear Shades enter]]. The camera is focused on Tilda, she looks up, her eyes widen at the sight of Shades, and then the camera changes angles to show him there, lurking in the hallway looking irked as if Mariah is using Tilda as a replacement for him.

--->'''Colleen Wing:''' Well, your dick is definitely bigger than mine.

** From Gwen's, Luke follows a courier back to Bushmaster's lair. The courier quickly figures out Luke is tailing him and runs back to the lair. He bursts in and bars the doors while yelling for the guards to point their guns at the doors. [[OpenSaysMe Luke just kicks down the doors]]. Two henchmen (the same ones who had earlier escorted Shades in when he came by) proceed to shoot him as he strides into the room. He knocks down one of the thugs, while tossing the other into the ceiling. The ceiling is so high up that several seconds pass between when the man leaves the camera frame and when we hear him hit the ceiling, and then he falls back to the ground. Then Bushmaster, his right-hand lieutenant, and a bunch of his other foot soldiers, emerge from another room with chains, machetes and guns.

* Learning about Arturo Rey's identity, Luke finds he's one of several crimelords Mariah has summoned to Harlem's Paradise for a deal. As he makes his way up to Mariah's office, he's stopped by Comanche, standing guard outside. Comanche pulls his gun and Luke just taps him out in the most nonchalant way possible. The ruckas prompts the visiting gangsters, plus Mariah and Shades to emerge, with the gangsters pointing their guns at Luke. Luke just casually twists Comanche's gun and tosses it to Shades before dealing with some rather dark FauxYay with Mariah.

** They meet with Arturo, who's unhappy about his legal problems and is now threatening to go to Misty. The whole conversation reads of BlackComedy:

'''Hernan "Shades" Alvarez:''' ''[smirks]'' [[LogicalFallacy Why would we set you up? You're our customer]].\\

'''Arturo Rey:''' You say you got a judge. [[{{Blackmail}} I'll give you your money when I get off free and clear, or, I'll go back to that one-armed detective and tell her what I know.]] She's got a hard-on for that old bitch of yours. ''[[[BerserkButton Shades whips off his sunglasses]]]'' Whoa, you don't like me saying that? [[TooDumbToLive Oh.]] [[GratuitousSpanish Sobre tu morena, lo siento chico.]] [[BullyingADragon Pero ella es una perra,]] [[KilledMidSentence una puta morena negra del-]][[labelnote:Translation]]"About your black woman, sorry kid. But she's a bitch, a black whore from..."[[/labelnote]]\\

** What makes it funnier is that we don't even hear Shades enter. The camera is focused on Tilda, she looks up, her eyes widen at the sight of Shades, and then the camera changes angles to show him there, lurking in the hallway looking irked as if Mariah is using Tilda as a replacement for him.

--->'''Arturo Rey:''' What are you doing in my store?\\

'''Arturo Rey:''' You say you got a judge. [[{{Blackmail}} I'll give you your money when I get off free and clear, or, I'll go back to that one-armed detective and tell her what I know.]] She's got a hard-on for that old bitch of yours. ''[[[BerserkButton Shades whips off his sunglasses]]]'' Whoa, you don't like me saying that? Oh. [[GratuitousSpanish Sobre tu morena, lo siento chico.]] [[BullyingADragon Pero ella es una perra, una puta morena negra del-]][[labelnote:Translation]]"About your black woman, sorry kid. But she's a bitch, a black whore from..."[[/labelnote]]\\

-->'''Darius "Comanche" Jones:''' [[BondOneLiner Damn, my nigga! That pussy must be ridiculous!]] What the hell were you thinking? How are you gonna get the money now?

** What makes it funnier is that we don't even see Shades enter. The camera is focused on Tilda, she looks up, her eyes widen at the sight of Shades, and then the camera changes angles to show him there, lurking in the hallway looking irked as if Mariah is using Tilda as a replacement for him.

** Before accepting Foggy's suggestion to perform at Piranha's party, Luke has [[TerribleIntervieweesMontage a montage]] of him spending a day trying to find other ways to get money to pay Cockroach.

** They meet with Arturo, who's unhappy about his legal problems and threatens to go to Misty if Mariah's people don't make his charges disappear. He begins insulting Mariah in Spanish. [[BerserkButton Shades abruptly pulls out his gun and shoots him in the face]] (and Comanche killing Arturo's bodyguards). After the bodies land, Comanche has the best of comeback lines:
-->'''Darius "Comanche" Jones:''' Damn, my nigga! That pussy must be ridiculous! What the hell were you thinking? How are you gonna get the money now?

** Before that, when they're having drinks, they're talking about what they'd do if they suddenly won a million dollars. Colleen would go to the British Library, second only to the Library of Congress, and read every single book there[[note]]Seems kinda odd considering, y'know, she's dating Danny, who would happily give her a million dollars if she asked, but then again, she's never liked taking gifts from him[[/note]]. Misty calls that lame, and states that [[MythologyGag she'd get a black Ford Mustang]] [[https://bookoftheironfist.tumblr.com/image/175651682327 with a 6-bolt V8 engine and cast-iron water pumps.]]

* Told to go check other leads just to make sure the Rum Punch Massacre wasn't the work of another gang, Luke shakes down the other gangs for leads. At one point, we see him working some Italians in the back of bakery. After roughing them up, he exits the kitchen and nonchalantly declines the barista asking him if he wants an espresso.

* When Luke and Bushmaster team up to bring down a supply of drugs with Bushmaster's name branded to them, Bushmaster hits Luke in the back with a hatchet while fighting the Yangshi-Gonshi henchmmen making them. For a few seconds, Luke turns around gesturing "The hell man!?" while Bushmaster just shrugs it off as if to say "force of habit."

** They meet with Arturo, who's unhappy about his legal problems and threatens to go to Misty. He begins insulting Mariah in Spanish, [[BerserkButton resulting in Shades abruptly killing him]] (and Comanche killing Arturo's bodyguards). After the bodies land, Comanche has the best of comeback lines:

* Bushmaster has fired the opening shots of his war on the Stokes gang, leaving three severed heads at Mariah's ribbon-cutting for the Shirley Chisholm complex, and dispatching the Stylers to kidnap Piranha from his party. What is Bushmaster himself doing while all this is going on? [[VillainsOutShopping Watching a soccer game at his aunt and uncle's restaurant]].

* Comanche picked a hilariously terrible time to meet with Ridenhour, resulting in him being completely clueless as to what the hell's going on when he gets back to the club and finds Shades beefing up security in response to the severed heads.

* When intimidating Piranha into emptying Mariah's money, Sheldon thinks that Piranha gets his nickname because he likes sea life, despite Piranha's efforts to claim otherwise.

** The line's even funnier on rewatch, knowing that Shades himself is going to become a snitch towards the end of the season.
** Not to mention Theo Rossi revealed in an Instagram FAQ that he is a fan of ''This is Us'' in real life.

-->'''Benjamin Donovan:''' This is highly unusual, and admittingly awkward.\\

* Cottonmouth shows up at Pop's barbershop with Tone and Shades, obviously looking for Chico, and their entry is accompanied by suspenseful music, suggesting something bad is about to happen, and then [[GilliganCut the scene immediately cuts to Cottonmouth getting a haircut]].
* While Cottonmouth is learning about Pop's death from Tone and Shades, Turk crashes their rooftop meeting.

'''Bushmaster:''' Oh, we know who you are. You must be mad coming up to my turf. [[NotSoAboveItAll You're not faster than Usain Bolt, y'know?]]\\

* Comanche attempts to convince Shades that Sugar may be the snitch. Unfortunately, he's just such a terrible liar that he sounds pathetic:

* Luke is kinda caught off-guard when Tilda abruptly takes an interest in his bulletproof skin and wonders how he has no major burns.

* Luke goes to Harlem's Paradise and makes his way up towards Mariah's office, where she's in the midst of meeting with the crimelords who are interested in buying out her guns. Comanche is being bodyguard outside in the private box, and Luke pauses, recognizing him. Given how Comanche hasn't seen Luke since Seagate, he doesn't recognize Luke or the fact that he's bulletproof, and tries to pull a gun on him, to which Luke just disarms him and [[TapOnTheHead taps him out]] cold. Then the gangsters in the office come out in response to the commotion. Nigel, Cockroach, and Arturo Rey all draw their guns on Luke. A moment after that, Shades and Mariah emerge, with Shades doing a "stand down" gesture to the other gangsters.
-->'''Hernan "Shades" Alavrez:''' Be cool. I got this. ''[Luke twists Comanche's pistol in half and tosses it to Shades, who catches it]''\\
'''Mariah Dillard:''' He ain't gonna do shit. Put your guns away, gentlemen. ''[Nigel, Cockroach and Arturo holster their weapons]'' [[FoeYay Prison did your body good]]. [[PrisonRape Fightin' em off in the showers, huh?]]\\
'''Luke Cage:''' Ha ha. You got jokes?\\
'''Mariah Dillard:''' What are you gonna do, Luke? You gonna arrest me? You gonna slap me around?\\
'''Luke Cage:''' You'd probably like that.\\
'''Mariah Dillard:''' Oh we ''could'' tussle a little bit, no doubt. But ''[taps Luke's tie in a seductive manner]'' I think it might make your girlfriend ''Claire'' a little jealous.\\
''[Luke turns around and much to his dismay, sees Claire hanging out in the crowd down on the main floor]''\\
'''Mariah Dillard:''' I like her dress. [[ShameIfSomethingHappened It'd be a shame if something happened to her]]. Take her home, Carl. You take her ''home''.

** His work complete, Luke loads Arturo's limpless form into the car, drives him to the police station, and deposits him in the bullpen where Misty has just began conversing with Ridenhour. There's some uncomfortable back-and-forth between Luke and Ridenhour over Luke acting outside the law, and then Luke leaves.

** They then enter the store, where Arturo is doing inventory. He is not too happy to see Shades.
--->'''Arturo Rey:''' What are you doing in my store?\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alvarez:''' Our lawyer got you out, and a judge we control allowed us to bail you out. [[DudeWheresMyRespect You should show me a little more respect.]]\\
'''Arturo Rey:''' ''[scoffs]'' You and the defective Judas bullet is why I was even locked up. You and Mariah set me up.\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alvarez:''' [[LogicalFallacy Why would we set you up? You're our customer]].\\
'''Arturo Rey:''' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Not anymore, I'm not]].\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alvarez:''' What? We had a deal!\\
'''Arturo Rey:''' You say you got a judge. I'll give you your money when I get off free and clear, or, I'll go back to that one-armed detective and tell her what I know. She's got a hard-on for that old bitch of yours. ''[[[BerserkButton Shades whips off his sunglasses]]]'' Whoa, you don't like me saying that? Oh. [[GratuitousSpanish Sobre tu morena, lo siento chico.]] [[BullyingADragon Pero ella es una perra, una puta morena negra del-]][[labelnote:Translation]]"About your black woman, sorry kid. But she's a bitch, a black whore from..."[[/labelnote]]\\
''[Shades abruptly whips out his gun and shoots Arturo in the face. His bodyguards promptly draw their guns, but Comanche quickly kills them both]''\\
'''Darius "Comanche" Jones:''' [[BondOneLiner Damn, my nigga! That pussy must be ridiculous!]] What the hell were you thinking? How are y'all gonna get the money now?\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alvarez:''' ''[staring at Arturo's corpse]'' Let's go. ''[heads for the doors]'' Now. Grab the surveillance tapes.

* Luke goes to Harlem's Paradise and makes his way up towards Mariah's office, where she's in the midst of meeting with the crimelords who are interested in buying out her guns. Comanche is being bodyguard outside in the private box, and Luke pauses, recognizing him. Given how Comanche hasn't seen Luke since Seagate, he doesn't recognize Luke or the fact that he's bulletproof, and tries to pull a gun on him, to which Luke just disarms him and [[TapOnTheHead taps him out]] cold. Then the gangsters in the office come out in response to the commotion. Nigel, Cockroach, and Arturo Rey all draw their guns on Luke, while Shades holds up his hand in a "hold your fire" gesture.

** Before that, when they're having drinks, they're talking about what they'd do if they suddenly won a million dollars. Colleen would go to the British Library, second only to the Library of Congress, and read every single book there[[note]]Seems kinda odd considering, y'know, she's dating Danny, who would happily give her a million dollars if she asked, but then she's never liked taking gifts from him[[/note]]. Misty calls that lame, and states that [[MythologyGag she'd get a black Ford Mustang]] [[https://bookoftheironfist.tumblr.com/image/175651682327 with a 6-bolt V8 engine and cast-iron water pumps.]]

-->'''Alex:''' Hello Tilda. I'm Alex. Your mother's assistant? ''[Tilda takes one of the champagne glasses in Alex's hand]''\\

* Luke continues to feel the full ramifications of a random news reporter at the previous episode's crossfit stating that he's faster than Usain Bolt, [[BerserkButton eating shit from the Jamaican population]].
* Luke has faced some of the most dangerous people in New York, but the toughest foe he faces in this episode? A group of snarky old Jamaicans playing dominoes who are absolutely unintimidated by him. This is Luke, who helped take down [[GreaterScopeVillain the Hand]], and yet he is getting absolutely roasted by these old men.

** From Gwen's, Luke follows a courier back to Bushmaster's lair. Moments after the courier bursts in and bars the doors, [[OpenSaysMe Luke just kicks down the doors]]. Two henchmen (the same ones who had earlier escorted Shades in when he came by) proceed to shoot him as he strides into the room. He knocks down one of the thugs, while tossing the other into the ceiling. The ceiling is so high up that several seconds pass between when the man leaves the camera frame and when we hear him hit the ceiling, and then he falls back to the ground. Then Bushmaster and a bunch of his henchmen saunter out with chains, machetes and guns.

'''Luke Cage:''' ''[with a tone of "Yes, I've heard that said to me a million times today"]'' I never said I was. I'm looking for Nigel, man.\\
'''Bushmaster:''' Him gone. [[IncrediblyLamePun Headed elsewhere]]. ''[[[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor laughs]]]'' If you have something to say, say it to me.

* Tomas Ciancio, a detective in Brooklyn who is a contact of Misty's, apparently hasn't seen the viral footage of Luke being beaten by Bushmaster and thinks Luke's dizziness is from a hangover. Misty has a priceless "YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe" face as she says to him, "You should go on the Internet a little more often."

** Later, Foggy calls after finding out about some performance gigs Luke could do. Luke immediately says, "[[Rule34 I won't do porn]]."
** Before accepting Foggy's suggestion to perform at Piranha's party, Luke gets [[TerribleIntervieweesMontage a montage]] of him trying to find other ways to get money to pay Cockroach.

* [[LoonyFan Piranha turns out to be quite the obsessive fan of Luke]], and keeps a lot of memorabilia from some of Luke's greater feats around his office.
* For the party, Luke is to wear one of his old bullet-riddled hoodies. As he's putting it on, he mutters "Goddamn cosplay..."

** [[VillainsOutShopping Shades goes to Piranha's party himself]] because [[AlcoholInducedIdiocy he doesn't trust Piranha to not be reckless when drunk]]. [[ChanceMeetingBetweenAntagonists When he spots Luke in the crowd, the two gradually work their way over to each other and stare at each other in a hilariously awkward silence]].

* Bushmaster has fired the opening shots of his war on the Stokes gang, leaving three severed heads at the opening of the Shirley Chisholm complex, and sending the Stylers to kidnap Piranha from his party. What is Bushmaster himself doing while all this is going on? [[VillainsOutShopping Watching a soccer game at his aunt and uncle's restaurant]].

** Much to Luke's annoyance, D.W. then reveals himself, having filmed the whole thing and followed him by Harlem's Hero App, which he describes as being like a personalized Waze. After some persuasion, Luke makes a BadassBoast to the camera so D.W. can plaster the footage on YouTube.

** Afterwards, Luke gets cock-blocked by the US Marshals. When one offers to stop somewhere for coffee, Luke says he "had something tall and dark lined up" before getting arrested.

* Shades and Cottonmouth later rewatch the security footage of Luke's altercation on the floor of the club.
-->'''Hernan "Shades" Alavrez:''' That's Carl Lucas. I did time with him at Seagate Prison when I first got there. Rackham, captain of the guards, he had us work him over real good. There's no way he could've survived in one piece.\\
'''Cornell "Cottonmouth" Stokes:''' This nigga's a half Houdini, half Ali.\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alavrez:''' There's a bullet for everyone. Diamondback told me that.\\
'''Cornell "Cottonmouth" Stokes:''' Say what?\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alavrez:''' I got something to show you. ''[Shades presses a few buttons on the remote and the feed on Cottonmouth's TV changes to one from a testing range. In the footage, men in foreign accents are fitting out a man with a flak jacket]''\\
'''Cornell "Cottonmouth" Stokes:''' Russian?\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alavrez:''' Ukrainian, I think. Eastern European connection. ''[The guys re-position the camera]''\\
'''Cornell "Cottonmouth" Stokes:''' Kevlar?\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alavrez:''' Must have a South American hookup. It's heavy duty, military grade.\\
''[With the camera re-positioned on the tripod, one of the gangsters takes a rifle and fires a single shot at the target's chest. It is absorbed by the jacket. Nothing else seems to happen]''\\
'''Cornell "Cottonmouth" Stokes:''' ''[unimpressed]'' [[HonestJohnsDealership This ain't shit.]]\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alavrez:''' ''[excitedly]'' Wait for it! Wait for it....\\
''[Sure enough, a moment later, the bullet explodes, instantly killing the target. The camera lens is splattered with blood, and the tripod is knocked over]''\\
'''Cornell "Cottonmouth" Stokes:''' WHOO-HOO-HOO! That is the illest shit I've ever seen in my life! Are you serious?\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alavrez:''' Based on a prototype by Hammer. The rounds are a composite, invisible to metal detectors. And they incinerate forensic evidence, so they are untraceable.\\
'''Cornell "Cottonmouth" Stokes:''' What kind of metal does that?\\
'''Hernan "Shades" Alavrez:''' Nothing from this Earth.

* Mariah has to drive herself to Diamondback's warehouse and is not too pleased about it.
-->'''Willis "Diamondback" Stryker:''' You took your sweet time, Madam Councilwoman.\\
'''Mariah Dillard:''' Why didn't you just come to me?\\
'''Willis "Diamondback" Stryker:''' Power doesn't travel. First rule of business and war.\\
'''Mariah Dillard:''' You have no real power without me. You could've at least let Tony bring me. I got lost three times trying to find this damn place.\\
'''Willis "Diamondback" Stryker:''' Sure, but then I would've had to put a bullet in the back of his head. No one comes here. Period.