History Funny / DVDRHell

[[Redirect:Funny/TVHeaven]]

#REDIRECT [[Funny/TVHeaven]]

[[AC:''Too Smart For Strangers'']]
* The opening gag with Bootleg Bill the DVD Pirate. Also his reaction to [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids a molestation lesson by Disney characters]]:
--> '''[[Franchise/WinniethePooh Winnie-the-Pooh]]:''' Oh, Piglet, you're right. People you see everyday might...want to [[MoodWhiplash touch you]].
--> '''Brad:''' *laughs* Yeah, [[SarcasmFailure and...]] [[FlatWhat wait, what.]]
** Followed by:
--->'''Piglet:''' But, is there touching that's ''not'' okay, Pooh?
--->'''Pooh:''' Oh yes, Piglet, and that's the kind of touching that gives you a funny feeling inside.
--->'''Brad:''' [[NoJustNoReaction Stop. Stop. Stop this now, please. Stop.]]
--->'''Pooh:''' If anybody tries to touch you anywhere in a not-okay way, a way that feels wrong, tell them "no."
--->'''Brad:''' Yeah, [[SarcasmMode most rapists tend to listen to the word "no."]] Jesus Christ, kids, [[CombatPragmatist kick them]] [[GroinAttack in the balls]] [[ScrewThisImOutOfHere and run!]]
** Which is followed by a song on the subject matter, prompting bewildered reaction shots from Brad, Jillian, one of his cats, Mr. Bill, and a R.O.B. the Robot.
*** [[HilariousInHindsight It's even funnier]] when you imagine the R.O.B. being ROB from ''WebVideo/EightiesDan''.
* Brad labeling Tigger as an 'unhinged, coke-head tiger'.
** In this same scene, Brad asks Tigger how to fend off a stranger:
--->'''Tigger:''' Scream! And kick! And bite! Fight with all your might, and try to get away!\\
'''Brad:''' Are you afraid to say the term "go for the nuts"? 'Cause we are trying to give good advice here.
* "I certainly learned a lot from Tigger and Roo!"
-->'''Brad:''' But unfortunately, Pooh learned nothing about eavesdropping!
* During a stranger danger example:
-->'''Man:''' Hey kid, come here a second. I seem to have lost my dog somewhere around here and I was wondering if you might help me try to find him?
-->'''Boy:''' No, sorry, I can't do that. ''[rides away on his bike]''
-->'''Brad:''' Or you could tell him that you haven't seen his dog and ''then'' run away, you rude, ginger, little shit!
* This:
-->'''Brad:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Thank you, magic rabbit who dresses like Jack the Ripper!]]
* The scene where Owl lets Tigger in:
-->'''Brad:''' [[SarcasmMode Haha, so obviously not only is a piglet costume okay, but a tiger costume as well.]] ''I hope you pervs are taking notes!''
* "Some strangers, the bad ones, want to hurt kids ...and ''bears''." Cue obligatory clip of Creator/ChristopherWalken [[Film/TheCountryBears crushing a model of "Country Bear Hall" with a sixteen-ton weight]].
** The instant FridgeLogic that follows.
--->'''Brad:''' Honestly, if a stranger were to fuck with [[BearsAreBadNews a bear]], that'd probably be the last time you heard from that stranger anyway.
** This exchange.
--->'''Pooh:''' Sometimes your parents may have to touch those parts, if they're bathing you, or dressing you, or maybe your doctor might need to touch them, when he's examining you...
--->'''Brad:''' Um...you do realise...that the ''doctor'' may also be guilty of, ah?... ([[AssShove makes disturbingly proctological gesture]]).
* When Owl is first seen, he is asleep in his chair, prompting Brad to speculate that he must be having a stomachache "from eating too many Tootsie Pops."
* Brad concludes the review by advising the parents of the children involved to move to a safer neighborhood. "As for me, I'm going to lock all my doors because I'm agoraphobic now. [[SarcasmMode Thanks, guy in a bear suit whose name is another word for 'feces'!]]"

[[AC:''Series/HeilHoneyImHome'']]
* About a minute in, Brad mentions that his DVD starts with "the tail-end of whatever was being aired beforehand". In the rerecorded video in 2019, he follows this by cutting to himself and saying "It's ''Series/DadsArmy''!," giving the impression that he got a ''lot'' of comments about this the first time.
* Brad commenting on Hitler's strangely-American accent (everybody apart from Chamberlain is apparently stuck in the BorschtBelt).
-->'''Brad:''' ...Also, what accent ''is'' he using?
-->'''Hitler:''' ''"Eva! Baby! Please! I'm D'Fuhrer! I'm a busy man, I can't jus' walk off th' job at five-o-clock!..."''
-->'''Brad:''' ...He sounds like the offspring of [[Series/TheHoneymooners Ralph Kramden]] & a wienerschnitzel.
* Brad's references to Hitler & Braun's real-life fates...
-->'''Eva:''' ''"....and don't think you can smooch around me like that, Adolf Hitler!"''
-->'''Brad:''' So...How much longer 'til they kill themselves?
---->*later*
-->'''Brad:''' Eva's got more important things to worry about...like the meatloaf...
-->'''Eva:''' *to Ms. Goldenstein* ''"Do you think just about [[UsefulNotes/NevilleChamberlain the most important person in Europe]] would like my meatloaf?"'' *realizes she 'spilled the beans' about Chamberlain's visit* ''"Me and my big mouth! Adolf will kill me!"''
-->'''Brad:''' ...Not if you kill yourself, first!
* If you're trying to get me to ''like [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler Hitler]]''...it's not working.
** Brad's horrified looks during the review's entirety seal the deal.
* Hitler brings in Neville Chamberlain from the airport. They appear to be approaching Hitler's doorstep in goofy fashion (like goose-stepping lamely). Brad describes them as coming from the [[Creator/MontyPython "Ministry of Silly Walks".]]
* Brad's reaction to Eva calling Adolf "Mr. Sausage".
* His (possible) LampshadeHanging at being unable to review ''Film/TheDayTheClownCried''.
-->'''Brad''': And I don't like the idea of something existing, if I can't get a copy of it.

[[AC:''Poochinski'']]
* "Hmm, just saying the name Poochinski screams...or barks [[ForegoneConclusion cancellation]]."
* "You know, H.R. Pufnstuff's ''dick'' would be less terrifying than [[UncannyValley this dog]]."
* He plays the "Can't shoot a kid, can you, fucker?" bit from ''Film/RoboCop2'' when it turns out Poochinski can, in fact, threaten a kid who pulls a knife on him with his gun. So Poochinski is a tougher cop than Robocop?!
* At the end, Brad makes this observation:
-->'''Brad''': Wow. A shame this was only a pilot. There are ''so'' many unanswered questions. (beat) [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer No, seriously,]] ''[[FridgeLogic there]] [[WhateverHappenedToTheMouse are]]''.

[[AC:''Rock: It's Your Decision'']]
* At the end of the review, Brad declares that the main character likely committed suicide ten years after the film. He gives a cheesy smile... and with perfect timing, [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Lloyd jumps on his couch.]]
* "I like how the song he's listening to is literally just repeating the phrase 'devils and demons'. Usually you have to play the album in reverse to get those lyrics!"
* The youth pastor claims Jeff could use the same scripture against soap operas that his mother uses against rock:
-->'''Brad:''' Again, very true. My love for Music/TearsForFears ''did'' stem from my mother's love of Patch and Kayla. Okay, I loved Patch and Kayla too. ''Series/DaysOfOurLives'' was awesome in the Eighties! That's when it had Nick the Pimp!
* When Jeff called ''The Captain and Tennille'' (of all things) a bad influence:
-->'''Brad:''' The Captain and Tennille is a sin now too? Calling The Captain and Tennille a sin [[InsultToRocks is a sin against the word sin.]]
* When Jeff comes home from a youth meeting and states that "Two kids got saved," Brad asks, "Was there an exorcism at this church service? Or a fire? He should really be more specific with that statement!"

[[AC:''How Can I Tell If I'm Really in Love?'']]
* This:
-->'''Professor:''' You can fall in love with a part of a person!
-->'''Brad:''' ''[In a sinister tone]'' I ''love'' your '''''[[Film/Maniac1980 scalp]]!'''''
*** Even if you don't get the reference, it's still hilarious.
** Shortly afterward...
--->'''Professor:''' You can't have a conversation with an ass!
--->'''Brad:''' Really? I have conversations with Jerrid all the time!
--->'''Jerrid:''' '''''Dude!'''''
*** Especially ironic considering [[{{Jerkass}} what we now know about the guy]].
* Later, the professor claims that you don't fight as much when you're in a "mature relationship".
-->'''Brad:''' Oh, yeah? ''[Calls off-screen]'' Hey, honey.
-->'''Jillian:''' [''off-camera''] ''Fuck you, prick!''
-->'''Brad:''' ''[Grins]''
* The segment about pregnancy.
-->'''Brad:''' I get pregnant while eating?


[[AC:''Be Somebody Or Be Somebody's Fool'']]
* Brad points out that [[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot a sketch ends just at the point he wanted to see]] - ''Creator/MrT, in short shorts and gold chains, sucking another man's toes in an elementary school classroom.''
* He also wants to see more of the Mighty Midgets from Mr. T's Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet story, since it's [[WesternAnimation/GnomeoAndJuliet better than lawn gnomes doing the story]].
* "Thanks, Creator/UweBoll!" It's only a matter of time before that sound clip gets misused by someone else.
* "This is the best Creator/TimAndEric episode ever, in that it's [[TakeThat actually funny]]!"
* "This girl gets it, though. Maybe one day, I, too, can star in my own tampon commercial."
* "I intend to teach my kids that if you watch enough extraterrestrial porn, people will make fun of you on the Internet. And that's...terrible advice."
** Brad's summary of the segment on overcoming shyness. "Lesson One: Be a bitch."
** "I believe I can be as good at Mr. T at break dancing...if I don't give a shit."
** From the segment on peer pressure: "Smoking and drinking makes you trip balls. How else do you explain Mr. T appearing out of nowhere to judge you?"


[[AC:''Bibleman'']]
* His introduction to the video, wherein he [[DefiedTrope defies]] JustForFun/XMeetsY. Also:
-->'''Brad''': It's weird that the things that ''should've'' involved [[ThisIsYourPremiseOnDrugs massive amounts of cocaine]]...probably didn't involve ''any.''
* His constant pointing out of the [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids kid-unfriendly]] scenes in Literature/TheBible (incest, sword fighting, decapitation, etc.).
* "Don't get too mad at these kids, though. They had to fill in at the last minute for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Greenbaum Norman Greenbaum]]."
* "[[MindScrew It's not often I see a character bullshitting a critique of the thing that they're currently acting in]]."
* "I tried walking on water, it doesn't work, [[TakeThatMe no matter how much weight I've lost]].
* ''Kid sings about how he goes to the bible for politics''
** "Ugh, Thought that kid looked familar, nice to know what Rick Santorum was doing in his youth."
* In a flashback, Bibleman fights a cackling, goggles-wearing mad scientist named "Doctor Decepto", which Brad insists is really Doctor Insano. At the end of the video, cue the [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Doctor Insano cameo.]]
** With Insano declaring that he sewed his butt shut to thwart any prison-rape (How this guy manages to poop is anyone's guess).
* Brad's delivery of this line.
-->'''Brad:''' "Whattaya say, kids? Isn't Bibleman cooooool?"
** Followed by a shot of a boy in the video, looking bored....
--->'''BOY:''' ''"Yeah, I get the point...."'' (this is followed by Brad's SpoofAesop about God smiting Dr. Insano)
* Later, his opinion of what would make Bibleman more exciting:
-->'''Brad:''' "I wanna see Bibleman slaughter Pharaohs with nothing but a table-saw and pickaxe, damn it!"
--> Followed by....
-->'''Brad:''' ''"...PLUS...I wanna see Bibleman fight lions with a rock and a toothbrush!"''
* After Billy calls the show "[[GoshDangItToHeck dog-gone]] interesting":
-->'''Brad:''' Hey, hey! Language, little Billy... [[BaitAndSwitch There's nothing interesting about this!]]
* When a kid suggests that God thinks their performance is "lame-o": "If God says words like 'lame-o', I'm becoming an atheist. Because apparently God is Creator/CoreyFeldman."
** Bibleman points out that the word "lame-o" doesn't show up in the Bible. "It does say 'ass' about 80 times, though. So son, stop being an ass."

[[AC:''WesternAnimation/{{Animalympics}}'']]
* Any moment when Brad throws a TakeThat towards NBC's coverage of London 2012:
-->'''Brad:''' "What the hell? You're not going to show me anything else?! This coverage is so bad, I feel like telling Matt Laurer to shut the hell up again!"
* His reaction to the chaotic hockey strategy:
-->'''Brad:''' "Maybe it's because I'm high, but that scene made sense to me."
* Lloyd's impeccable couch-jumping timing returns, and it's enough to earn him a "featuring" credit.
* Brad describes one of the olympians being rebuilt as a cyborg by Russian scientists to be the ultimate skiing machine:
-->'''Brad''': (Russian accent) [[Film/RockyIV Whatever he skis, he destroys!]]


[[AC:''Bugs Bunny's Thanksgiving Diet'']]
* Brad saying how Bug's carrot diet helped Elmer Fudd & Porky Pig lose weight while invoking ArtEvolution for both characters....
-->'''BRAD:''' "....Just look at these ''Before & After'' photos!".
* Brad noting the background pun of charts of the Dow [[Creator/ChuckJones Jones]] and the Dow [[Creator/FrizFreleng Freleng]].
-->'''Brad:''' They were also gonna show the Dow [[Creator/RalphBakshi Bakshi]], but they couldn't show that on television.
** This receives a CallBack at the end during TheStinger where Bugs is seduced by a sexy female rabbit, with Brad saying that they got the Dow Bakshi in after all.
*** Helped by the fact that Bug's ears do a SomethingElseAlsoRises gag.
* Brad's comments on the special editing "Rabbit Every Monday" so that now, since it's 1979, there's a disco party going on in Yosemite Sam's oven.
-->'''Brad:''' Obviously implying that Bugs is gonna do so much angel dust off of Sam's ass.
* Both times he mentions "[[DoubleEntendre tossing the salad]]", he gets the obligatory joke out of the way in an annoyed fashion.


[[AC:''Deception of a Generation'', Part 1]]
* The content of the [[MoralGuardian moral-guardian]]-paranoia-gone-mad video itself is hilarious enough as it is, but how the [[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer truly]] [[EveryoneIsSatanInHell outrageous]] [[{{Demonization}} claims]] of the presenters manage to be debunked at each and every turn by Brad is immensely gratifying.
* "On this episode of DVD-R Hell, we're taking a look at a fundamentalist scare film from the mid-80s made by two guys with way too much free time on their hands at their grandmother's house. Of course, if I made this video several years ago, it would've been because I had way too much time on my hands at ''my'' grandmother's house. But the difference is that I'm not fucking stupid."
* Brad notices in the video that the clock in the background never moves. Whilst this was a lead for a funny joke, the real laughs come in when the presenters claim that it is beyond kids' capabilities to understand time -
-->'''Brad''': Well if they're watching this, it's not going to help them understand time since it doesn't move...
* Calling Phil Phillips a "living, breathing ComicBook/RichieRich".
** ...and Gary Greenwald [[Film/AnchormanTheLegendOfRonBurgundy "Ron Burgundy"]] & [[Series/WelcomeBackKotter "Mr. Kotter".]] He's later compared to "a snitch from ''Series/MiamiVice''".
* All the cracks Brad makes at Phillips' expense for being interested for randomly walking into a toy store.
* The [[Film/{{Skyfall}} "GLORYFall"]] poster Greenwald had advertising his ministry leads to this gem:
-->'''Brad''': Don't tell Gary about ''Film/LiveAndLetDie''. I hear it contains the voodoo magic.
* '''Brad:''' "I'm starting to think Gary is full of shit."
* The various ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes'' clips Brad uses to demonstrate the occult being portrayed from when Greenwald and Phillips were kids.
-->'''Brad''': [[SarcasmMode Oh, I'm so unfair!]]
* The fact the 'hosts' have a problem with kids playing with toys and using their imaginations.
* When Gary & Phil first bring up [[SheRaPrincessOfPower She-Ra]], they also bring up ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'', [[CriticalResearchFailure assuming its another cartoon for kids]].
-->'''Brad:''' [[Series/TheGoldenGirls GOLDEN GIRLS]]?! I guess that's a tie-in to that other show for boys, Series/{{Matlock}}!
*** Thing is; Gary & Phil were likely actually referring to a short-lived toy line similar to SheRa called [[http://www.bigredtoybox.com/cgi-bin/toynfo.pl?goldengirlindex Golden Girl]][[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG1KS0gr8Q8 and the Guardians of the Gemstones]].
* The hosts constantly cite satanic elements in cartoons, but Brad has to keep pointing out that most of their comments are focused towards the villains. This continues on into the second part.
* "I know plenty of Christians in my life and every one of them would find what I'm about to show you... [[spoiler:fucking hilarious]]."

[[AC:''Deception of a Generation'', Part 2]]
* Gary and Phil target more franchises from ''Transformers'' to even ''Franchise/CareBears'', throwing accusations of "evil" elements that are probably even flimsier (and funnier) than before. Presumably because the content has become so ludicrous Brad's attitude towards the video is different from the previous part, being gleefully sarcastic rather than coldly condescending.
* Every time the segment makes a comment towards the audience reprimanding them for letting their children watch the cartoons, buy the toys, etc., Brad's responses revolve around reprimanding parents letting their children watch a video about two grown men ranting about how everything they love is evil.
* Brad's bafflement at a fairly muddled claim by Phil Phillips:
--> '''[[MoralGuardians Phil]]:''' Now, our children don't have to wind up in the backyards sacrificing chickens to a moon god to be affected by the [[CowboyBebopAtHisComputer occult within the toys and cartoon]].
--> '''Brad:''' [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Did you get that from a Dr Phil fortune cookie, what the hell?]]
* Brad's surprise when the hosts actually start talking about a real issue (young girls feeling pressured to starve themselves to look like Barbie dolls) and urging them to stop before they confuse their audience.
* In their tract on ''Star Wars'' the hosts claim Darth Vader was designed to resemble the Norse God Odin to convert children to paganism. Never mind the fact that Darth Vader is meant to be the villain of the franchise and his resemblance to Odin is very tenuous (Brad shows an image of Odin to compare, noting that Odin looks more like the Abrahamic God), but when the hosts try to show their own image of Odin to compare their projector "malfunctions" very conveniently.
--> '''Brad''': What? Oh, of course you can't show that picture. Because it would put a hole in your entire argument, and ''God forbid'' people see through your bullshit!
* The ''Star Wars'' tract gets even stranger when the hosts claim that Obi-Wan's name is a reference to "Obi-Witchcraft", and that Yoda's three-fingered hands are a satanic influence. Brad's reactions are appropriately perplexed.
* Also; They misname a Star Wars action figure, an alien species known as a ''Quarran'' as "Squidhead"
-->'''Brad:''' "Actually, it's called a ''Quarran''....but it is my favorite ''Star Wars'' race....next to "Furball" *photo of Chewbacca shown* and "Tin Foil" *photo of [=C3PO=] shown*."
* The hosts make a claim that any franchise involving humans transforming into animals promotes paganism and the occult. Brad responds with threats if they touch ''Manimal''.
* This:
-->'''Gary''': If this is the direction that the occultic toys are taking, what are — where are we going? Where do you think it's going to?
-->'''Brad''': Furbys, obviously. You guys are gonna slit your ''wrists'' on that one.
* Brad cracking up at the hosts accusing ''E.T.'' of promoting homosexuality, with absolutely no evidence or backing up whatsoever.
** The second anti-gay remark involving ''Franchise/TheSmurfs'', [[BerserkButton however]], [[TheLastStraw induces]] [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech an angry reprimand]] from Brad.
*** The fact that Gary & Phil think the Smurfs are gay zombies.
* Eventually the hosts target ''G.I. Joe'', ''Transformers'' and other action-based cartoons for their violent content rather than being occultic. Brad notes that the tracts made by the hosts are starting to get jumbled, as Gary condemns their target for being "[[FreudianSlip occultic]]" before correcting himself to "violent".
-->'''Brad:''' "Nice save, jackass!"
* Throughout most of ''Deception of a Generation'' Brad comments that the Bible was highly violent as a counter to the hosts' claims about violence in cartoons. Eventually the hosts themselves bring it up and their defense for the violence in the Bible was that the violence happened through the course of many centuries, unlike violent acts in cartoons which happen over the course of hours. Brad's analysis of this questionable defense is brilliant.
* Eventually the hosts target, of all things, ''MyLittlePony''. The fact they are even considering ''My Little Pony'' is hilarious, but the real laugh is that the hosts ''don't even know what the franchise is actually called'', instead simply calling it "''My Pony''".
--> '''Brad''': Ah yes, the classic ''My Pony'' series. As talked about by their legion of fans, the "''brothernies''".
* Brad's reaction to what Phil Phillips is currently up to. Brad proclaims that he now really ''does'' look like the type who loiters in toy stores not intending to buy anything.

[[AC:''Gary Coleman: For Safety's Sake'']]
* In the opening, Brad talks about how the 1980s featured celebrities giving advice on life, including [[CallBack Mr. T advising on being somebody]].
-->'''Brad:''' I know I sure did - I went out and picked a fight with [[Franchise/{{Rocky}} the biggest Italian boxer I could find!]]
** Brad also mentions Creator/CoreyHaim "falling in love with Corey Haim in ''Me, Myself and I''".
-->"The only way to keep Creator/CoreyFeldman out of it was for Haim to mention only himself not once but three times in the title."
* When Gary asks the viewers to draw their map of a neighborhood, Brad draws "a bear grilling" instead. Later, Gary asks the viewers to write down details of a scene, and Brad draws "a cowboy fucking a pig".
* His entire reaction to the "rabid dog" scene, where he comes to the conclusion that Creator/GaryColeman just wants to mess with random kids.
-->'''Brad''': Hahahaha, Gary just wants to give you rabies.
* This:
-->'''Gary:''' The important thing for you to learn in any emergency is, stay calm, keep cool, and think!\\
'''Brad:''' Just so you know, these are also the rules you want to follow for beating ''[[VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial E.T.]]'' [[VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial on the Atari]].
* When Gary advises to draw a map of your neighborhood and shows a sample of such a hand-drawn map, Brad deadpans, "Is that really a map or a layout of the ''[[VideoGame/Ghostbusters1984 Ghostbusters]]'' game?"

[[AC:''Series/{{Cavemen}}'']]
* "Much like the commercials, the titular cavemen [[ArtifactTitle no longer live in caves]], so really it's just a show about guys with long hair and beards. [[Series/DuckDynasty Which I guess is a fucking thing now!]]"
* After a joke about putting an empty waffle box back in the freezer: "I can totally sympathies. Sometimes I crave the cheeseburger Hot Pockets, but somebody puts the empty box back in the freezer, thus crushing my butter, cheese, and meat stuffed heart…" (''looks off-camera'') "…Dave!"
* "This guy looks like Music/HankWilliamsJr right after the accident."
* After making an Film/{{Eegah}} joke in the beginning of the video: "...[[SelfDeprecation this is already the]] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck stupidest episode I've ever written.]]"
* On a scene where one of the cavemen is [[CoincidentalAccidentalDisguise accidentally knocked into a fire pit, losing part of his shirt in the process, and starts screaming in pain as he waves a large flaming stick around]]:
--> '''Brad''': Ha ha, just like the time I fell into a box of clovers while a keg of Guinness dumped on my face and then for some reason I started chanting for the Celtics.
* "If television were easy, Geico could have done it."

[[AC:''Pagan Invasion: Halloween, Trick or Treat? Part 1'']]
* "I don't know if I trust any relgious company whose logo is a [[Franchise/{{Saw}} jigsaw]] contraption with the production name of Cutting Edge." (''image of a trumpet'') "At least with this logo, we know where all the hot air's gonna be coming from."
* "Upon second glance, the CGI in Creator/MNightShyamalan's ''Film/TheLastAirbender'' is pretty awful."
* On the hosts being projected into a CGI castle: "These two are obviously in tune with what the kids are into. That's why they're recording from inside of a CD-i game."
* "Please stop paying attention to what my kids are wearing!"
* This CallBack to the ''Deception of a Generation'' review:
-->''See''-ances? I would make fun of that, but I'm surprised he didn't find a tremendous way to fuck up say "Ouija". Maybe he practices them both in "Ethernia".
* "No, no, no, no, you can't just throw in someone with a British accent. Now it's gonna take me longer than usual to pick up on her bullshit."
* Brad's costume concept "Sexy Creator/TerrenceMalick". Cue photo of woman with Terrence Malick's head.
* "You know how I know you're full of shit? Because you just referred to ''Nightmare on Elm Street 5'' as a well-crafted, elaborate horror production."
* The female host brings up how pumpkins are a big component of Halloween.
-->'''Brad:''' And you know what nailed Jesus to The Cross? A PUMPKIN!...jus' sayin'...

[[AC:''Pagan Invasion: Halloween, Trick or Treat? Part 2'']]
* "I'm curious: When these people watch stuff like ''Film/TheExorcist'' or ''Brotherhood of Satan'', do they think of them as documentaries?"
* "Yeah, the one costume that drives all the kids insane: the devil mask! It's right up there with Black Lone Ranger!"
*
-->'''Man''': But there has been such an acceleration of worship of Satan that we believe that these sorts of things are happening, and we have evidence that they are.
-->'''Brad''': We're not gonna show you any of it, though. You're just gonna have to envision it in your mind's eye.
-->'''Woman (Witch being interviewed)''': Mentally, you know that they are there. You can see them in your mind's eye...
-->'''Brad''': See? This lady gets it.
* Brad's reaction to Hal Lindsey bringing up how he and his filming crew found "A diaper of a small baby" at a site allegedly used for Satanic rituals. This becomes a BrickJoke, later on...After one talking head talks about how the "evil satanist menace" is undercover and how they are "They're Doctors...They're Lawyers...They're Teachers..."
-->'''Brad:''' ''So the lesson here, kids, is 'Don't go outside...like EVER...they'll kill your pets....and do strange things to your baby's diaper!'!''
* Brad's closing lines:
-->"So while you're at it, go out, dress up, go Trick-Or-Treating and get some free candy...but don't come to my house because I'll have the porch light shut out...which is the ancient tradition of "I Don't Have Any Candy To Give Out On Halloween"....which is then followed by the ancient ''kids'' tradition of "Throwing Eggs At My House"........*grumbles under breath* ''goddammit''....

[[AC:''Howard Cantour.com'']]
* As a [[MetaFiction meta-commentary]] on the [[Creator/ShiaLaBeouf plagiarism scandal]] surrounding this movie, Brad reviews it ''[[LampshadeHanging only using quotes plagiarized from other reviews.]]''
** To further drive the point home, he's wearing the [[WebVideo/TheIrateGamer Irate Gamer]] t-shirt.

[[AC:''The Day The Clown Cried'']]
* The story of how [[spoiler:it's a sequel to/reboot/episode of WebVideo/DemoReel]] and how Brad [[spoiler:including the return of Karl Kopenhagen]] from Creator/JerryLewis' house is just hysterical.
** [[spoiler:[[TheImmodestOrgasm "E.T. Come home!"]]]]

[[AC:''Am I Normal? A Film About Male Puberty'']]
* "Jimmy goes off to the library, which is one of those places that existed before the Internet. Nowadays, Jimmy can learn about sex ed from watching three 80-year-old men have a lemon party."

[[AC:''Doorways to Danger'']]
* (about the opening narration) "Well, this ''sounds'' like it could be a cup of bullshit. But he's saying it in a British accent, so he may be onto something."



[[AC:'''Hell's Bells, Part 1: The Dangers of Rock n' Roll''']]
* When pointing out that the special's host is still active:
-->'''Brad''': ...and [Eric Holmberg] is still going strong and just as crazy today, where his blog includes the question "how low will our culture go?" about a cartoon series, on the same page that features a defense of Roy Moore and a positive review of ''Hillary's America''. Apparently ''WesternAnimation/BigMouth'' would have been better if it had hologram Klansmen and slave rape.
* "The first part of the film is on the dangers of rock and roll, and begins with a warning about containing explicit material of a sexual and occultic nature. Well, yeah. Have you seen this channel? If it didn't have any of those things, I probably would've just shut this thing off."
* "I think this movie may have gone to the ''Hi-Tops'' school of 'You're not cool, Dad.'"
* After a "comedy" sketch:
-->'''Brad''': Ugh. I feel like I'm watching ''[[Series/RowanAndMartinsLaughIn Laugh-In]]''. [[{{Dissimile}} Without the "laugh" part.]]
* This part:
-->'''Brad''': But okay. In three hours, what is this documentary supposed to show me?
-->'''Narrator''': ...to the heart of rock and roll. You'll discover what it can do to an egg.
-->'''Brad''': Uh... what... I... (''exhales'') [[FlatWhat What.]]
* "We find out exactly what the Bible says about rock and roll: 'Thou shalt go up to the spirit in the sky. It's where you're gonna go when you die.'"
* On the teachings of Aristotle:
-->'''Brad''': The warnings about music trace all the way back to Plato and even Aristotle. Both known for being [[Music/VanHalen team Hagar]].
-->'''Eric''': Plato's contemporary, Aristotle, noting that "music has the power to form character"...
-->'''Brad''': Clearly they are talking about the power... (''holds up a Boots Randolph record'') ...that "Yakety Sax" has on making ''anything'' hilarious.
*
-->'''Eric''': And it's worth noting that both the scriptures and church tradition suggest that music comes quite naturally to Satan. That very possibly, before his fall, he was in charge of music in Heaven.
-->'''Brad''': Duh. Everyone knows Satan was kicked out of heaven because he wouldn't stop playing "[[Music/{{PSY}} Gangnam Style]]" at the Heaven rave.

[[AC:'''Hell's Bells, Part 2: The Root of Rock''']]
* On how certain songs are said to quote the Satanic Bible:
-->'''Eric''': As a means of systematically and objectively examining rock music for signs of the Devil's influence...
-->'''Brad!Eric''': ...I had sex with a ram, sacrificed a goat, and ate a plate of sheep balls.
* "Eric even has his own copy of the Satanic Bible. Which, according to commenters, was written by me, apparently." (''shows a picture of Anton [=LaVey=]'')
* "I really hope this whole thing ends with Eric saying, 'You know, maybe this music just isn't made for me. I should probably just listen to the Newsboys instead.'"
* "Much like crucifixion, this documentary has some deep cuts."
* His confused reaction to Eric calling Music/{{Madonna}} an ex-porn star.

[[AC:''Hell's Bells, Part 3: The Fruit of Rock'']]
* "Part 3 of the ''Hell's Bells'' anti-rock and roll documentary promises to tell us about the fruit of rock. I, uh... I dunno what that means, really. If it means we get to listen to a lot of Music/{{Bananarama}} or the soundtrack to ''Film/TheApple'', then I am all for this. Though the beginning wants to get one thing perfectly clear..." (''Creator/{{MTV}} bumper that has an animated Adam and Eve in it'') "...MTV bumpers used to be awesome! And then God punished Adam and Eve by taking the music videos away."
* His obsession with the fact that Eric Holmberg looks different in the third part.
* (''After a JumpCut'') "I didn't put any cuts in here. Suddenly he just teleported to a set at Creator/{{Troma}} studios."
* "[[Music/TheDoors Jim Morrison's]] on enough drugs that he probably thinks he's being interviewed by a six-foot-tall armadillo."
* "Who knew until this documentary that there's a lot of punk rock songs that sing about some dark stuff? I thought that if I went to a punk show, they'd all be singing 'God said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody-floody.'"
* "Drugs are apparently hated by God because they're a form of sorcery. Oh, people were getting messed up on all kinds of hallucinogens in Literature/TheBible. They could take something like nutmeg and cinnamon and turn it into a weeklong party. But what's really bad is when music and lyrics are written with the help of drug and alcohol binges. I got no room to talk. That's how I wrote most of my earlier movies."
* "Um, Quarterflash sang "Harden My Heart", not Music/TheBangles. (''beat'') It was hard to deliver that without sounding exactly like WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob."

[[AC:''Hell's Bells, Part 4: The Fruit of Rock, Continued'']]
* "According to the Bible, rebellion is witchcraft. And witchcraft is buying novelty items at a Spencer Gifts."
* "I think Revelation was written with the same drugs that wrote a lot of the psychedelic rock you hate."
* This:
-->'''Eric''': TheEighties have seen the emergence of a macabre brand of rock that combines elements of punk, new wave, and even classical music.
-->'''Brad''': Yeah, and it was ''awesome''!
* His amusement that Eric seems to believe that Music/IronMaiden's mascot Eddie is a real person.
* After Eric gives a description of backmasking, Brad cuts to a clip of WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob shrugging and saying "Sure."
* Eric Holmberg plays "[[Music/{{Queen}} Another One Bites the Dust]]" backwards, claiming that it says "Start to smoke marijuana." Brad's response: "I ''could'' say bullshit, but that's probably more accurate than anything that was in ''Film/BohemianRhapsody''."
* (''on backmasking'') "Sounds more like someone attempting to speak [[Franchise/StarTrek Klingon]]".
* "Well, I suppose he's doing a better job [at converting viewers] than [[Film/IfFootmenTireYouWhatWillHorsesDo Estus Pirkle.]]" "[[AccidentalInnuendo Will you come?]]"
* TheStinger is just Brad playing part of "[[Music/LedZeppelin Stairway to Heaven]]" backwards.

[[AC:''Hell's Bells, Part 5: The Axe Falls'']]
* "It begins by showing us clips of the 1986 horror movie ''Film/TrickOrTreat''. Obviously because the makers of ''Hell's Bells'' are huge Cinema Snob fans." (''displays title card for the Snob episode on that exact movie'')
* When the documentary talks about "neutral" acts and how even they are [[TheNewRockAndRoll still somehow evil]]:
-->'''Eric''': Take, for example, one of the reigning queens of pop music, Music/WhitneyHouston. Though probably one of the nicest individuals within the contemporary music scene...
-->'''Brad!Eric''': ...we're still gonna call her an evil instrument of Satan anyway.
* On one of Eric's contrived analogies:
-->'''Eric''': By way of an analogy, take strychnine, one of the most powerful poisons in the world.
-->'''Brad''': Woo, never mind the egg test. This is what's setting up to be the most unfortunate episode of ''WebVideo/BradTries''.
-->'''Eric''': Left in a room with small children, it's unlikely that they would pay much attention to it.
-->'''Brad''': This documentary has a deadly poison in a room with children. But here's why you shouldn't listen to Whitney Houston because she's naughty.
* Later, after Eric pours the poison on some candy and shows footage of children eating candy:
-->'''Eric''': ...virtually every one of [the children] will eat the poison without hesitation.
-->'''Brad''': If you like Music/VanHalen, then that means you want to murder a room full of kids. Because listening to rock music is just like going all [[Film/HalloweenIIISeasonOfTheWitch Silver Shamrock]] on a test room full of children.
* Later on, Eric shows a patient on a deathbed:
-->'''Eric''': He's in critical condition, suffering from a sinful, wicked heart that has separated him from God.
-->'''Brad''': I don't think that's what the doctor wrote on that patient's charts.
* This:
-->'''Eric''': There's nothing wrong with singing about love.
-->'''Brad!Eric''': (''over footage of "Jacob's Ladder" by Music/HueyLewisAndTheNews'') But only if the music and lyrics have been properly wed in a ceremony under the watchful eye of the Lord.
-->'''Eric''': There's nothing wrong with even singing about death and despair, as long as it is done within the framework of truth and God's redemptive purposes.
-->'''Brad''': In other words, you have shitty taste in music, and your music collection consists of nothing but Lee Greenwood.
* Eric invokes TotallyRadical when talking about Satan:
-->'''Eric''': He's the horn-headed dude in the red pajamas.
-->'''Brad''': Don't say "dude". You're not cool. [[SelfDeprecation And I say that as a 37-year-old man with a backwards hat.]]
* He sets up a BrickJoke about how commenters think that Brad is actually Anton [=LaVey=]:
-->'''Anton''': Therefore, each man, each woman, is a god or goddess in Satanism.
-->'''Brad''': Yes, but I was mainly talking about the struggles of sitting through ''Film/{{Nukie}}''.

[[AC:''Colby the Christian Robot'']]
* "Well, one thing is for sure: If I had a talking Christian computer, it would make doing research for the religious episodes of ''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob'' a lot easier."
* "It's that crossover of ''Film/ShortCircuit'' and ''WesternAnimation/VeggieTales'' that... someone wanted."
*
-->'''Colby''': You mean kids sometimes tell you who you should be friends with? Why would they care about something like that?
-->'''Brad''': Oof, if this is causing Colby confusion, thank God Twitter wasn't around back then. Colby would spend five minutes on there and then go jump into a tub of water.
* "Right now Wood Rocket is trying to figure out a way to incorporate this costume into a porno. At least then, the dialogue would be better."
* "I'm getting some serious ''Hi-Tops'' flashbacks from this. Which one of them is gonna OD on drugs?"
*
-->'''Kid''': I don't care if Creator/BillCosby's coming to town! There should be a law saying you've gotta live like the rest of us!
-->'''Brad''': Oh, I think you should definitely care if Bill Cosby's coming to town!


[[AC:''Psalty the Singing Songbook'']]
* "Psalty, which I guess is either a nickname of Psalms, or he's just really mad about something online... he has a whole family of talking books, which means he can reproduce."
* "Oh man, there really is just a fine line between children's Christian mascot and Wood Rocket porno spoof!"
* "Did anyone else see those mouths too, or am I on as many drugs as the creators are?"
* (''after seeing kids dressed as candles'') "Their experiment is complete. They turned the kid into a fiery dick. Oh no, and it's contagious too! Worst STD I've ever seen."
*
-->'''Psalty''': Who's had a problem that God has helped them with?
-->'''Brad''': Well, one day I was like, "Am I running out of material for my channel?" And then, God certainly helped me with that.

[[AC:Colby Meets Psalty]]
* "So far we've been introduced to Colby the Christian Robot and Psalty the Singing Songbook. So the natural conclusion is that these two powerhouses of nightmare Christian kids' TV mascots come together and bang hard."
* "These two go together like peanut butter and KY jelly. Like Oreos and milquetoast."
* "I wonder how they decided on which show the crossover would happen on? Maybe it was a contest to see who could better deepthroat the cucumber from ''[=VeggieTales=]''."
*
-->(''zoom in on a kid in a lion suit'')
-->'''Brad''': Oh, did I forget that Colby also runs the island of Dr. Moreau? Now he's playing God for the Lord.
-->(''cut to kids making jazz hands'')
-->'''Brad''': If that doesn't warrant some jazz hands, then that makes sense because nothing of this really warrants jazz hands.
*
-->'''Kid reading a letter''': I've been a Christian all my life, but I want to know what to do when my brother and I argue and I get in a bad mood."
-->'''Brad!Colby''': My computer says you should punch him in the balls, children. And if you want more brilliant advice like that, write to us and perhaps you can be one of the letters that we don't set on fire.
*
-->'''Colby''': If you have a question about God or the Bible, we would really like to hear from you.
-->'''Brad''': No. You'll be getting questions about Hamburger Helper and that's it. Is ''every'' box of Hamburger Helper instantly made better by the addition of Fritos? You tell me, Colby the Christian Robot!
* "As giant of a computer that Colby is, you'd think he could print out at least one lesson on choreography." (''cut to kids dancing awkwardly'') "And thus the insult 'square' was returned to our vocabulary. Even the '50s think you're a drag! This is the world's first sock hop that ended with severe pneumonia just from the dance moves."
*
-->'''Colby''': Someone is calling me on my internal modem line!
-->'''Brad''': He's talking about his dick. Or at least I wish.
-->'''Psalty''': (''over phone'') Oh hi, Colby. It's me, Psalty. I'm afraid I have a great big problem.
-->'''Brad''': Classic Psalty prank call. You should probably hang up before he starts [[ADateWithRosiePalms flipping his own pages really loud and fast.]]
*
-->'''Psalty''': I hope you can help, Colby. I'm so frustrated! I'm a songbook!
-->'''Brad''': No, you're a middle-aged man in a creepy book costume and blue-face. Think of all the Smurfs that you're offending!
* "Unlike the other two specials that I watched, in this one, it really does feel like the kids are having ''none'' of this."
*
-->'''Psalty''': (''holding a giant cell phone'') Hello, Psalty the Singing Songbook speaking.
-->(''phone squeals'')
-->'''Psalty''': Ugh, see, this is what I told you. My phone thinks it's a fax machine!
-->'''Brad''': You know what's great about these specials? The timelessness.
*
-->'''Colby''': Let's finish checking your connections, because if things aren't properly hooked up, then they won't work right.
-->'''Girl''': I think we should pray.
-->'''Brad''': Or you could just turn it off and turn it back on again.
* "You know what won't help any of this? Dancing." (''after the song'') "Good job, kids. You killed disco ''again''."
*
-->'''Brad''': Not only should you check your connection because you might be mentally imbalanced, but you should also... plug into things?"
-->(''kids do gestures that look like Nazi salutes'')
-->'''Brad''': ...and swear allegiance to the Führer of the Third Reich, Adolf Hitler? Go back to the jazz hands. I don't want to know what's on that computer.
-->'''Colby''': Oh my, I think I found something!
-->'''Brad!Colby''': Nazi porn! Let's watch, children!
*
-->'''Psalty''': Did you know that God loves us so much that He even knows how many hairs you have on the top of your head?
-->'''Kid''': Wow.
-->'''Brad''': Wow. Impressive. (''removes cap, revealing bald head'') No one could ''ever'' guess that.

----