History Funny / CobraKai

'''Johnny:''' Yes, fluids are crucial. If you don't hydrate, it affects performance.

* The fact that, after so long, that it turns out the way to get Miguel and Robby to get over their drama is to just let them beat the stuffing out of each other.

* Johnny decides that he's going to go kick Silver's butt by himself, and Amanda desperately asks Chozen to help her stop him. Chozen agrees that being a one-man army is not good...so he'll come with him.

'''Amanda:''' And let's try to remember what happened ten years ago when [[SexIsViolence you and I hit the mat for a little]]...[[DoubleEntendre "karate"]]? ''[nods knowingly at [[SpoiledBrat Anthony]] in the other room, playing ''VideoGame/{{Tekken}}'' on his UsefulNotes/PlayStationVita]'' Mmmhmmm.

** The montage of him exploring the internet for the first time includes highlights such as him discovering online porn, reading trivia about his favorite movies (and being dismayed at Creator/JeanClaudeVanDamme being nominated for [[UsefulNotes/GoldenRaspberryAward a Razzie]] for ''Film/{{Bloodsport}}''), and falling for a fake news article "proving" that dinosaurs built the great pyramids of Egypt.

'''Johnny:''' ''[Insistently]]'' Hot?\\

--->'''Johnny:''' ''[to Daniel]'' [[LampshadeHanging Why do you have a rock in the middle of your dojo?]]

* Johnny is ''still'' calling Mitch "Penis Breath".
* When Daniel tries to give his class a meditation session, his attempts are continually interrupted by Johnny yelling obscenities as he has his students practice their leg sweeps on Hawk. Most of the Miyagi-Do students can't resist the urge to laugh.
-->'''Daniel:''' Now everyone, close your eyes and relax.\\

* The staredown between the Cobra Kais & Miyagi-Dos, particularly Hawk vs. Demetri, Mitch vs. Chris, Bert vs. Nathaniel, cannot be taken seriously. Bert shaking his head upon seeing Nathaniel just oozes of {{Narm}}.

'''Stingray:''' Oh, Stingray. Just ''one word, Stingray.'' I don't have any actual experience per say, but I just recently won the ''Black vs. Red Challenge at Coyote Creek'', no big deal...[[SeriousBusiness except for the karate community, it's a very big deal.]] My sensei's been very pleased with my progress and I think in time you will see a '''''yellow belt'''''[[note]]yes, usually the ''next'' belt after white that can be earned by a ''child'' no older than 6[[/note]] strapped around my mid-section.

** Hawk getting all [[BloodKnight fired up as soon as Miguel picks a fight with Robby]]. For added bonus, he lets out a war cry ''right'' before he is caught off guard by a Miyagi-Do student.

--->'''Bert:''' [[TrashTalk You're going down, nerd!]]\\

* Johnny, Chozen, Daniel, and Amanda introduce themselves, each as senseis of their respective dojos. Since she's the only one who isn't a sensei, Amanda just calls herself an enthusiastic supporter.

--->'''Tom Cole:''' Patriot Tom Cole here! When I'm not busy fighting the hated British for your freedom, I'm fighting to bring you great deals, great ''[[{{Eagleland}} American]]'' deals! And because I love this land we call home, I'm giving every new customer their very own [[ItMakesSenseInContext drought-resistant cactus!]] [[TakeThat In these dry times, it really is the only responsible plant to own]], a '''STRONG AMERICAN''' plant. From the Strong American himself, ''me'', Tom Cole! Cole's on Van Nuys! You...''[[IncrediblyLamePun musket]]'' down here.

** The message itself is a hilarious FreezeFrameBonus, especially when Johnny mentions that he won $2000 betting on the O.J. Simpson trial.[[labelnote:In detail...]]"...AND THEN [[Film/IronEagle IRON EAGLE]] 3 CAME OUT. YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON’T CARE WHAT THE CRITICS SAY. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY GOOD. NOT AS GOOD AS IRON EAGLE 1 OR IRON EAGLE 2, BUT HEY, WHAT MOVIE IS? THINK [[Film/WaynesWorld WAYNE’S WORLD]] WAS THAT YEAR TOO. THAT ONE WAS OKAY. THOSE NERDS HAD GREAT TASTE IN MUSIC AND THE CHICK WAS HOT. WHAT WAS SHE DOING WITH HIM? HOW COME THE HOT CHICKS GO FOR THE LOSERS IN THESE MOVIES ANYWAYS? OTHER THAN THAT 1992 WAS A PRETTY QUIET YEAR. GOT FIRED AGAIN, BUT WHAT THE HELL DO THEY KNOW. I DIDN’T LIKE CONSTRUCTION ANYWAYS. THEY ALL SPEAK SPANISH AND I’M PRETTY SURE THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF ME SOMETIMES. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A “GRINGO” IS? I STARTED LEARNING A LITTLE BIT OF SPANISH FROM MIGUEL AND HIS FAMILY. I KNOW “HOLA”, “PLANTAIN”, “TACO”, AND “DINERO”. PRETTY GOOD, HUH? WHERE WAS I? OH RIGHT. 1993 THERE WAS [[Film/JurassicPark THAT DINOSAUR MOVIE]]. PRETTY GOOD FOR THE NINETIES. I MEAN NOT ANYWHERE NEAR WHAT WE HAD BACK IN THE DAY. REMEMBER [[Film/{{Predator}} PREDATOR]]? THAT MOVIE WAS BADASS. THIS DINOSAUR THINGS WAS PRETTY COOL, BUT TOO MUCH SCIENCY STUFF FOR ME. I GUESS YOU PROBABLY LIKED THAT THOUGH, RIGHT? I MEAN, YOU’RE A DOCTOR NOW. I COULD NEVER BE A DOCTOR, NOT AFTER THAT INCIDENT AT COMMUNITY COLLEGE. I TALKED ABOUT THAT A COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AGO. DOES FACEBOOK LET YOU GO BACK AND REREAD? STILL THINK THEY OVERREACTED. ALL THE GREAT SCIENTISTS SET THINGS ON FIRE, RIGHT? LIKE EINSTIEN OR WHOEVER. ANYWAYS, 1993 DUTCH GOT ARRESTED. THAT ONE WAS PRETTY STUPID. I WAS DRUNK FOR MOST IT, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE HE HOTWIRED A GOLD CART FROM THE COUNTRY CLUB. I LOOKEDU P FROM THE BAR AND DUTCH IS DRIVING THE THING AT HIGH SPEED, OR I GUESS AS HIGH AS SOMETHING LIKE THAT CAN GO, AND CRASHES IT INTO THE POOL! THEY HAD TO BRING A CRANE IN TO GET IT OUT. HE DID SOME TIME BUT IT WAS WORTH IT. ANYWAYS, I DON’T THINK I’VE BEEN BACK TO THE COUNTRY CLUB SINCE THEN. SID WON’T LET THEM BAN ME, BUT THOSE GUYS ARE ALL UPTIGHT AND ONLY SERVE FOREIGN BEER, IT’S OFFENSIVE. WE WON TWO WORLD WARS DRINKING AMERICAN BEER. WHAT THE HELL HAS BELGIUM EVER DONE BUT GET INVADED? WHO WANTS TO DRINK THAT SHIT? I THINK I GOT OFF TOPIC AGAIN. LETS GET BACK TO THE MID 90S. 1994 WAS A SLOW YEAR. THE 90S SUCKED, MAN. YOU TURNED ON THE RADIO AND IT WAS JUST CRAP. WHO WRITES A SONG ABOUT BEING A LOSER? AND ALL THOSE GRNUGY TYPES WITH THE FANNEL. LET ME TELL YOU, MUSIC IS SUPPSOED TO BE ABOUT BEING BADASS AND AWESOME, NOT ABOUT WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF. THAT SHIT CAN’T BE GOOD FOR KIDS TO HEAR, RIGHT? LOOK AT ME, WORRY ABOUT WHAT THE KIDS ARE HEARING. I GUESS BEING A PARTENT CHANGES YOU. NOT THAT I’M ALL THAT GREAT OF A PARENT. WELL, MIGUEL SEEMS TO LIKE ME OKAY. ROBBY DOESN’T. I MESSED UP PRETTY GOOD. CAN’T EVEN GET THE KID TO TALK TO ME ANYMORE. HE’S STUCK IN THERE FOR A FEW MORE MONTHS AND HE’S GOT NOBODY. HE WON’T TAKE MY CALLS. I HOPE HIS MOM IS TALKING TO HIM AT LEAST. I THINK IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE FOR ME AND HIM. I MESSED UP TOO MANY TIMES. NOT THAT I’M A TOTAL SCREW UP. I’VE DONE SOME GOOD STUFF TOO WHICH BRINGS ME TO 1995 AND HOW I MADE TWO GRAND BETTING ON THE O.J TRIAL."[[/labelnote]]

*** Bert and Nathaniel are easily broken up by a security guard, and still try to attack each other even as the guard is effortlessly dragging them both away.

** Just the fact that Johnny keeps the Dodge Grand Caravan, despite it being both hideous and stolen. Even funnier is that after the chop shop, Daniel never brings it up again, clearly not caring enough about the vehicle to even want it back. This is why Robby stole it in the first place: the car is so old and little-known that nobody would notice it’s missing.

* The sheer irony in Kreese's exchange with the therapist at his prison. The therapist remarks, "I'm happy to hear you're doing well with the others", with Kreese replying, "Yeah, well, I make friends pretty easily." ([[GilliganCut Cut to Kreese beating the hell out of a couple inmates and]] ''[[GilliganCut slamming one into the wall]]''.) Kreese then follows up with [[BlatantLies "I find that a little kindness goes a long way."]] This gets even funnier after one sees episode six, [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome where it's shown that the therapist isn't fooled one bit because she had dealt with manipulative sociopaths before.]]

* While trying to get Miguel and Robby to become friends, Johnny locks them all in his apartment from the inside and turns it into a wild-west themed escape room with Miguel and Robby playing the roles of "José Chavez y Chavez" and "Josiah 'Doc' Scurlock." Miguel immediately sees through it because it's the plot of ''Young Guns II''. Rosa then unintentionally sabotages the game by walking while role-playing as Billy the Kid, but leaves the door open for Miguel to walk right out.

** They part where they start praising him is also a little funny as they still sound like they are trying to one-up each other’s experiences.

** Chozen approaches Eli, who decides to confront him head on in a fight. Chozen whips out his set of nunchucks. Eli murmurs a dejected "[[ThisIsGoingToSuck oh no]]" just before Chozen knocks Eli's egg right out of his hand and into the window of one of Daniel's cars, where it's revealed Anthony was hiding. He's so freaked out that he just immediately surrenders and holds his egg out for Chozen to destroy. Chozen taps the egg with a look of contempt on his face that practically says "some son of Daniel-san".

** The above scene also features two BlackComedy examples. First, Kreese tries to tell Hawk to finish Brucks after the latter gets taken down, only for Hawk to start beating the other kid to a pulp before Kreese can finish speaking. Second, Kreese makes it sound way more like a friendly reminder than a command, as if he already knows it's going to be redundant.

-->'''Brucks:''' [[OhCrap Dude]]...

** Brucks assumes he'll beat the hell out of Eli and "fix that lip of his"...and then he see's the tattoos.
-->'''Brucks:''' Dude...

** Robby buries his in the garden and assumes it will be safe... until he turns around and [[FailedASpotCheck sees Chozen]] [[RightBehindMe has been standing there the whole time]], with [[ThisIsGoingToSuck Robby making a resigned face]]. Chosen pierces the egg with his spear while the egg is still in the ground.

* [[CrossesTheLineTwice A lot of]] Johnny's {{politically incorrect|Hero}} moments

** After Sam announces the first point for Johnny, Daniel gives her absolutely hysterical "Seriously?" look.

** Even though Principal Fitzpatrick flips the CantGetAwayWithNothing towards Kenny, [[RiddleForTheAges he admit there's one thing he still can't figure out]].
-->'''Principal:''' [[LampshadeHanging I still don't know how they got all that milk in the locker.]]