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Changed line(s) 320 (click to see context) from:
** John also calls out President Biden for [[HeadInTheSandManagement refusing to take a firm stand against Israel's bombardment of Gaza]], which has since killed over 28,000 Palestinians, most of whom include women and children, by still providing aid to Israel and offering only mealy-mouthed objections of Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
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** John also calls out President Biden for [[HeadInTheSandManagement refusing to take a firm stand against Israel's bombardment of Gaza]], which has since killed over 28,000 Palestinians, Palestinians at the time of writing, most of whom include women and children, by still providing aid to Israel and offering only mealy-mouthed objections of Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
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* April 28, 2024: While there was no show that week, ''Last Week Tonight'' celebrated its 10 year anniversary by ''[[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmKbqjSZR8TZMVP4UwUfCK9MA_vmP_-ZD uploading the entirety of its first season to the official YouTube channel]],'' with more on the way!
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Changed line(s) 327 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Matthew Miller:''' United States does not dictate to Israel what it must do just as we don’t dictate to any country what it must do.\\
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Changed line(s) 328 (click to see context) from:
'''Reporter:''' Unless you invade them.
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* March 3, 2024:
** In the midst of (again) calling out the Biden Administration for its lack of urgency in pursuing a ceasefire over in Gaza, John highlights the spectacular balls of one Associated Press reporter:
--> '''Matthew Miller:''' United States does not dictate to Israel what it must do just as we don’t dictate to any country what it must do.\\
'''Reporter:''' Unless you invade them.
** In the midst of (again) calling out the Biden Administration for its lack of urgency in pursuing a ceasefire over in Gaza, John highlights the spectacular balls of one Associated Press reporter:
--> '''Matthew Miller:''' United States does not dictate to Israel what it must do just as we don’t dictate to any country what it must do.\\
'''Reporter:''' Unless you invade them.
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Changed line(s) 262 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Adam Driver''': Explore the fucking space, you hollowed Mr. Bean cosplayer. Look around you, you underbaked gingerbread boy.
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-->'''Adam Driver''': Explore the fucking space, you hollowed hollow-boned Mr. Bean cosplayer. Look around you, you underbaked gingerbread boy.
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Changed line(s) 322 (click to see context) from:
--->'''John:''' [[SarcasmMode Whoa, careful there, Joe. What if Bibi hears you? Nothing shames the guy comfortable with bombing hospitals and refugee camps like knowing that 6,000 miles away, an 81-year-old is muttering PG-13 words under his breath?]] What’s next? Is Biden going to whisper "what a dick" into a seashell and toss it into the ocean? And Biden’s reportedly said worse, which American TV danced around, but Arabic-language Al Jazeera delivered the quote in full. We’re not going to translate this for you, but you’ll know the phrase when you hear it.
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--->'''John:''' [[SarcasmMode Whoa, careful there, Joe. What if Bibi hears you? Nothing shames the guy comfortable with bombing hospitals and refugee camps like knowing that 6,000 miles away, an 81-year-old is muttering PG-13 words under his breath?]] breath.]] What’s next? Is Biden going to whisper "what a dick" into a seashell and toss it into the ocean? And Biden’s reportedly said worse, which American TV danced around, but Arabic-language Al Jazeera delivered the quote in full. We’re not going to translate this for you, but you’ll know the phrase when you hear it.
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Changed line(s) 320 (click to see context) from:
** John also calls out President Biden for refusing to take a firm stand against Israel's bombardment of Gaza, which has since killed over 28,000 Palestinians, most of whom include women and children, by still providing aid to Israel and offering only mealy-mouthed objections of Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
to:
** John also calls out President Biden for [[HeadInTheSandManagement refusing to take a firm stand against Israel's bombardment of Gaza, Gaza]], which has since killed over 28,000 Palestinians, most of whom include women and children, by still providing aid to Israel and offering only mealy-mouthed objections of Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
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** John also calls out President Biden for refusing to take a firm stand against Israel's bombardment of Gaza, which has since killed over 28,000 Palestinians, most of whom include women and children, by still providing aid to Israel and offering only mealy-mouthed objections of Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
--->'''TV Journalist:''' (''from news footage'') Part of what the president is saying, according to people who’ve heard him make these comments, is that Net — Netanyahu is, quote, "giving him hell", that he’s impossible to deal with. We’re also told on three, at least three instances, the president referred to Netanyahu as an a-hole.
--->'''John:''' [[SarcasmMode Whoa, careful there, Joe. What if Bibi hears you? Nothing shames the guy comfortable with bombing hospitals and refugee camps like knowing that 6,000 miles away, an 81-year-old is muttering PG-13 words under his breath?]] What’s next? Is Biden going to whisper "what a dick" into a seashell and toss it into the ocean? And Biden’s reportedly said worse, which American TV danced around, but Arabic-language Al Jazeera delivered the quote in full. We’re not going to translate this for you, but you’ll know the phrase when you hear it.
--->'''Al Jazeera Reporter:''' (''from news footage, speaking in Arabic'') [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] bad guy.
--->'''John:''' Yeah, Biden apparently called Netanyahu "a bad fucking guy". And look, you should be allowed to say that about Netanyahu uncensored on American TV. Because I guarantee, it’s coming out of the mouths of Gazans and families of the hostages nonstop right now.
--->'''TV Journalist:''' (''from news footage'') Part of what the president is saying, according to people who’ve heard him make these comments, is that Net — Netanyahu is, quote, "giving him hell", that he’s impossible to deal with. We’re also told on three, at least three instances, the president referred to Netanyahu as an a-hole.
--->'''John:''' [[SarcasmMode Whoa, careful there, Joe. What if Bibi hears you? Nothing shames the guy comfortable with bombing hospitals and refugee camps like knowing that 6,000 miles away, an 81-year-old is muttering PG-13 words under his breath?]] What’s next? Is Biden going to whisper "what a dick" into a seashell and toss it into the ocean? And Biden’s reportedly said worse, which American TV danced around, but Arabic-language Al Jazeera delivered the quote in full. We’re not going to translate this for you, but you’ll know the phrase when you hear it.
--->'''Al Jazeera Reporter:''' (''from news footage, speaking in Arabic'') [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] bad guy.
--->'''John:''' Yeah, Biden apparently called Netanyahu "a bad fucking guy". And look, you should be allowed to say that about Netanyahu uncensored on American TV. Because I guarantee, it’s coming out of the mouths of Gazans and families of the hostages nonstop right now.
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Changed line(s) 317 (click to see context) from:
--> '''John:''' People in Washington ''can'' be so mean, can't they? I've heard some even make decisions in landmark court cases that [[https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/27/politics/hunter-biden-clarence-thomas-gun-charges-second-amendment/index.html loosen gun regulations]], [[https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/clarence-thomas-long-battle-against-affirmative-action/ limited Affirmative Action]], and [[https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/the-self-fulfilling-prophecies-of-clarence-thomas stripped women of their constitutional right to an abortion]], so I get the impulse to wanna get out of town to avoid those ''fucking sociopaths.''
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Changed line(s) 319 (click to see context) from:
--> '''John:''' And if you're thinking "What would my friends say if I take this offer?" [...] Well that's the beauty of friendship, Clarence. If they're real friends, they'll love you no matter what your job is, so I guess this might be the perfect way to find out who your ''real'' friends ''actually'' are.
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Changed line(s) 315 (click to see context) from:
* February 18th, 2024: John's ultimatum to Clarence Thomas -- one million dollars a year, plus a brand-new Fregot Marathon Motorcoach, if he agrees to "leave the Supreme Court and never come back" within 30 days. Which is (somehow) all totally legal, complete with contract!
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* February 18th, 2024: 2024:
** John's direct callout of Justice Clarence Thomas's assertion that he uses his motorhome to get away from "the meanness that you see in Washington".
--> '''John:''' People in Washington ''can'' be so mean, can't they? I've heard some even make decisions in landmark court cases that [[https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/27/politics/hunter-biden-clarence-thomas-gun-charges-second-amendment/index.html loosen gun regulations]], [[https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/clarence-thomas-long-battle-against-affirmative-action/ limited Affirmative Action]], and [[https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/the-self-fulfilling-prophecies-of-clarence-thomas stripped women of their constitutional right to an abortion]], so I get the impulse to wanna get out of town to avoid those ''fucking sociopaths.''
** John's ultimatum to Clarence Thomas -- one million dollars a year, plus a brand-new Fregot Marathon Motorcoach, if he agrees to "leave the Supreme Court and never come back" within 30 days. Which is (somehow) all totally legal, complete with contract!
** John's direct callout of Justice Clarence Thomas's assertion that he uses his motorhome to get away from "the meanness that you see in Washington".
--> '''John:''' People in Washington ''can'' be so mean, can't they? I've heard some even make decisions in landmark court cases that [[https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/27/politics/hunter-biden-clarence-thomas-gun-charges-second-amendment/index.html loosen gun regulations]], [[https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/clarence-thomas-long-battle-against-affirmative-action/ limited Affirmative Action]], and [[https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/the-self-fulfilling-prophecies-of-clarence-thomas stripped women of their constitutional right to an abortion]], so I get the impulse to wanna get out of town to avoid those ''fucking sociopaths.''
** John's ultimatum to Clarence Thomas -- one million dollars a year, plus a brand-new Fregot Marathon Motorcoach, if he agrees to "leave the Supreme Court and never come back" within 30 days. Which is (somehow) all totally legal, complete with contract!
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Changed line(s) 316 (click to see context) from:
--> '''John:''' And if you're thinking "What would my friends say if I take this offer?" [...] Well that's the beauty of friendship, Clarence. If they're real friends, they'll love you no matter what your job is, so I guess this might be the perfect way to find out who your real friends actually are.
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--> '''John:''' And if you're thinking "What would my friends say if I take this offer?" [...] Well that's the beauty of friendship, Clarence. If they're real friends, they'll love you no matter what your job is, so I guess this might be the perfect way to find out who your real ''real'' friends actually ''actually'' are.
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* February 18th, 2024: John's ultimatum to Clarence Thomas -- one million dollars a year, plus a brand-new Fregot Marathon Motorcoach, if he agrees to "leave the Supreme Court and never come back" within 30 days. Which is (somehow) all totally legal, complete with contract!
--> '''John:''' And if you're thinking "What would my friends say if I take this offer?" [...] Well that's the beauty of friendship, Clarence. If they're real friends, they'll love you no matter what your job is, so I guess this might be the perfect way to find out who your real friends actually are.
--> '''John:''' And if you're thinking "What would my friends say if I take this offer?" [...] Well that's the beauty of friendship, Clarence. If they're real friends, they'll love you no matter what your job is, so I guess this might be the perfect way to find out who your real friends actually are.
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Changed line(s) 314 (click to see context) from:
[[folder:Season 11 (2024)]]
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[[folder:Season 11 Eleven (2024)]]
