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Chapter 9 -

@AweStriker: I reserve my right to come up with stupid-sounding names. Still, the "Index" does sound way better than the "Main Page".

Last time, we finally turned in that stupid mapping mission and got a boat and some money out of it, and learned that the inn is run by a fourteen-year-old.

There are only 2 places in Armoroad we haven't gone yet, and I intend to save the port for when our ship gets named. That just leaves the local watering hole.

Oh yeah, since Missy is so great, I added in a lot of creative liberties this update.

>>Butterfly Bistro

Axel stops just outside the door, an uneasy look on his face. The fact that this look is even there causes several passerby to shiver

Gabe: Why ya stoppin', bro?

Axel: I dunno...I just felt a slight sense of terror.

Ranko: What, you afraid of getting plastered?

Axel: There's...something in there. Something...fearsome.

Ere: Oh, have we finally found what the "unflappable" Axel truly fears?

Report: If there's really something in there to worry you, just deal with it in your usual method.

Axel: I don't think this is something I can beat with swords...

Ere: Oh, quit complaining and just get in there already! [pushes Axel inside]

[Butterfly Bistro - Relax and take in the sights]

The bistro is lively and filled with chattering people, many of whom are in good spirits. A few stare depressedly into half-empty glasses of alcohol, but those are their problems. A few people turn to look when the doors open, but quickly resume their activity.

Report: See, it's not so bad. Just people having fun while drunk...and a few drowning their sorrows, but...

Ere: See? All worked up for nothing.

Axel:'s still here...

Ranko: Can you be any more dramatic? I mean, it's great that you're talking and all, but-

Voice: Azzy-poo...?

Axel: It's closing! Fast!

A pink blur slams into Axel in an instant, bowling him over. Now slowed to a speed perceivable by human eyes, the blur turns out to be a woman with bright pink hair; smiling brightly, she nestles Axel's face between her impressive bosoms.

Pink-haired Woman: Azzy-poo, it really is being you, it is!

Gabe: Holy cow!

Ere: What the hell is this?!

Report: Uh...

Ranko: Axel sure has a way with the ladies, huh?

Ere: No! No he doesn't!

Pink-haired Woman: You were last leaving without telling goodbye to anyone, but you are sound and safe!

Axel: Mmm mmnt nmf mm, mmt mmf mmf mm-mm-mmf.

Report: What was that?

Gabe: He said "I don't know why, but this seems really familiar."

Report: You speak muffled?

Gabe: Just Axel. This is kind of a regular occurrence for him.

Ranko: That would explain why it seems familiar to him.

Axel: Mmmf, mm-mmt mf mmt (No, outside of that)

Ere: Can he even breathe in there?

Axel: Mmh. Mm mmst kmmt mm-fn mm mmf (Yeah. I just can't open my mouth)

Report: Even so, we should get him out of there.

Gabe: I'll do it!

Axel: [Motions for Gabe to keep distance] Mtm mmk! (Stay back!)

Gabe: Huh.

Ranko: Aren't you going to help?

Ere: And cop a feel in the process?

Gabe: He told me to stay back, which means he's either enjoying it...

Ere: Fat chance of that...

Gabe: Or getting close would be extremely dangerous.

Axel: Mts mmf-n-nt-m tf mmt-tmf (It's definitely the latter).

By this point the woman is speaking in half-sobs (joyous half-sobs), and starts to squeeze Axel tighter

I won't even bother trying to write her dialogue here.

Axel: Mmmmf! Mmmf!

Report: Translation?

Gabe: There's nothing to translate. He was just screaming.

Axel begins to turn blue

Gabe: Okay, now he can't breathe.

[One scuffle later...]

Pink-haired woman: I am so much sorry! I wasn't knowing Azzy-poo couldn't breathe!

Gabe: You okay there, bro?

Axel: I...I was in a dark tunnel...but I saw Mom there...right at the end...smiling...

Gabe: Yeah, he's fine.

Pink-haired Woman: So, how may I being of help to you all?

Report: Eh...We're a new around here, and we just started a guild, so we were just touring the city.

Pink-haired Woman: Ah, you're the TvTropes guild, yes? I've heard from the Senatus. Welcoming to the Butterfly Bistro.

Ere: Are all of your "welcomings" like the one you gave Axel?

Pink-haired Woman:, Azzy is special.

*wink wink* *nudge nudge*

Ere: Oh, so special customers get special service, then?

Pink-haired Woman: Wah! Don't being mean!

Report: Ere, stop.

Gabe: Sorry about that, Miss...

Pink-haired Woman: Close. It is Missy.

I wish I made that part up. Also, she really does talk like that.

Missy: Oh, where I was...ah, yes. Here at the Butterfly Bistro, you can talk to people and take on side jobs called "requests". There are all kinds of different jobs, from monster hunts to item collecting.

This is essentially all they are.

Missy: If you accept a request and complete the mission, report back to me!

I am desperately trying to resist making a "Report" joke. So far, I'm winning.

Missy: When you do, I will then give you the reward that the client gives me when they put it up!

Doing these requests might make us some easy cash.

Missy: Doing these requests might make you some easy cash!

I just said that.

Missy: I'll keep getting more and more requests as time goes on, so come back here lots, okay?

Ere: With Axel?

Missy: I-It is not like that! You are mean!

For some reason, I always write Ere to be fully confrontational.

Missy: A-Anyway, that's pretty much it. Do you want to be taking on one of the requests right away?

Short version: Yes. Long Version: Hell yes.

Next week: We make some money! Also, contradictions!