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Journey Into Mossflower
Sal Fish Fin

[table of contents]
Chapters 12-14
Chapter 12

We're back at St. Ninian's church, where Cluny mulls about planning, paying no attention to the Voles.

He obviously wants Martin to come by with his great throbbing... sword.

Here you go.

I am silly.

I haven't read this book in a while, but I have the feeling that I'll have to sarcastically quote this line several times before I finish this book.

Yeah, That's not possible.

I wish I had something witty to say to that.

Cluny says he wants Shadow to climb the Abbey walls, and proceeds to give him perfect directions to Great Hall.

Remember what was he doing his entire introductory chapter? He probably goes through a lot of cloth. Just sayin'.

Mentions of Hell et. al: 8

I've made far too many sex jokes at this point in the review, so I'm leaving this one alone.

Mentions of Heaven et. al: 2

Mentions of Hell et. al: 9? Okay, 8.5

So now it's pretty obvious what's up: Cluny's going to attack Redwall's morale by stealing Martin away.

Cluny’s tail banged down on the rotting lectern, smashing it into several fragments.

That would have been a lot more threatening if it didn't involve "woodland and meadows."

Chapter 13

Back at Redwall, everyone's taking stock of the food stores. Ambrose reflects on the mice not letting him drink himself into a stupor, and is interrupted by baby moles who ask him where to put stuff. Padding!

Matthias and Constance are busy training the woodlanders, who all have certain skills that they're used to. Otters are slingmasters, and fieldmice have mad arrow skillz. Matthias decides to teach some of the Redwall mice how to use the quarterstaff.

My personal theory is that Matthias had levels in Monk. I mean, in the animated series, Matti had mad hops.

Of course, that doesn't stop him from harassing the n00bs into attacking him.

Thwack!

But the harshness pays off... sort of.

Thwack, crack!

And down Matti goes. Anthony gets recruited for Constance's cudgel and wrestling class. There's also a discussion of the lack of lethal weapons in the Abbey.

At lunch, Matthias bugs Cornflower for a bit before heading over to bond with Methuselah some more. Methuselah, not being an idiot, knows that Matthias wants to find Martin's tomb, because that's where the sword is likely to be.

Matthias is about to give up hope, when Methuselah relates an old tale about a sparrow-hawk who claims that the Sparrows stole "something" from the mice of Redwall. Problem: the sparrows live at the top of the Abbey, and as such, it would be necessary to climb up the walls. Which begs the question of how the abbey was built, without steps that led to the top, but whatever, plot is plot.

Chapter 14

Back to Cluny, who's heading to Redwall with Ragear and Shadow. Ragear's proud that he's been selected, but we're told that Cluny just needed a fall guy in case things went bad. Cluny goes off to do something, leaving Ragear and Shadow alone. And it's...

Awkward.

Anyway, Cluny returns, having discovered that the mice on sentry duty are all fast asleep. Shadow gets to climbing the wall. When he gets to the top...

Ain't that cute?

...

BUT IT'S WRONG!!!!

What is my problem?

Shadow makes his way into Great Hall, slamming the door by accident, but thankfully not waking anyone. He finds the tapestry, and Jacques gives us this...

See? Even he realizes all of this homoerotic subtext between Martin and Cluny. He did it on purpose.

Shadow starts biting Martin out of the tapestry.

Wet Sweet dreams, Matti.

... The depths to which my mind is willing to sink.

Of course, it's Martin, trying to get Matthias to stop Shadow from stealing him. When Matthias figures this out, he heads there, tripping down the steps and getting up just in time to see Shadow make off with Martin.

Shadow used Rollout! It's Super Effective!

Matthias shouts a warning, and Constance blocks off one section of the stairs to the ramparts, forcing Shadow to waste time changing direction. Then he grabs Shadow's legs, preventing him from climbing the steps... And Shadow kicks him in the head several times, knocking him out.

Shadow had a dagger, but chose to cut the tapestry out with his teeth. Yeah.

Constance comes in and Shadow faces her, but she disarms him in a single blow. Right over the wall and outside of the Abbey. Good work.

Dude... Not cool.

Cluny gets away, naturally, Ragear isn't so lucky. There's a ditch that he can't leap, and so he has to go a different way. Matthias doesn't even know what happened. He thinks Shadow still has the tapestry.

Good riddance.

21st Mar '12 7:29:27 PM flag for mods
comments
Huh, my mind immediately went to Shadow from Final Fantasy VI.

I adored this book as a kid, and all the others. It's kind of embarrassing to look back and see how formulaic they really were. Still, Brian Jacques was an awesome guy; the sheer variety of jobs he had before becoming an author staggers me. I'm actually very interested in what his stand-up routine (which he said was his favorite pre-Redwall job) was like.
Eegah 22nd Mar 12
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