ROOK: Based on my source, I reorganized the squads. I recruited Nova...
NOVA: Agent Nova, reporting for duty. I'm ready to deal with all your conspiracies.
ROOK: ...sent them on their respective missions, checked in with Roxie...
ROOK: Hey, Roxie, how are you?
ROXIE: Rook, are you aware there are over 7 million forms of dirt found in the swamp?!
ROOK: I'll make sure I wipe my feet before I get in the jet.
ROXIE: THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
ROOK: Roxie, are you going to be ok?
ROXIE: This job is killing me...
ROOK: ...and set off for the dinner party.
BUDDY: Hey, I heard Cyrus' mansion is down in the bayou. So, I don't know if I'm up for this, Rook... I've got too much to do already. I'm swamped!
ROOK: ...
ROOK: We arrived and parked near the bridge to the mansion. I suppose the other guests had to park farther away, but VTOLs rock like that. Anyway, we looked around, crossed the bridge over swampy water, and entered the mansion, where...
????: Good evening, friends.
...we came face to face with a zombie!
BUDDY: GAH!!!
CARL: Yeah, I get that a lot. May I see your invitation, please?
ROOK: Of course.
ROOK: I handed him the invitation intended for Poppy. He looked it over.
CARL: I see. Right this way..."Poppy".
ROOK: I got the impression that he didn't think I was Poppy... but since he didn't seem to care that much that I wasn't Poppy, who was I to complain?
CARL: Do you have any bags I can take?
ROOK: No, we don't. If I feel like I need a change of clothes, all I need is a mirror.
Heh, good thing the actual changing is never shown.
ROOK: No kidding.
CARL: Good. That lady in the yellow dress brought so much luggage, I thought my arms were going to fall off.
ROOK: In fact, one did. He reattached it, though. Buddy seemed disturbed by this.
CARL: Oh, great. ... The others have already arrived. Madame Zoe was just about to begin. Right this way, please.
ROOK: A bald, bemelanined man with a monocle seemed to be arguing with a man who seemed to be taking the phrase "All the world's a stage" as a little more than metaphor.
??????: I'm telling you, Trevor, he's going to leave the fortunite to me!
TREVOR: Nonsense! Dear Cyrus would only entrust that powerful crystal to MEEEEEEE!
??????: They say the fortunite can show you your future. What exactly are you hoping to see, Trevor?
TREVOR: Oh, nothing! I just need the crystal as a prop in my new play, "Trevor Finds the Crystal."
??????: That's ridiculous. You're a ridiculous man.
ROOK: A rather more flamboyantly dressed woman with short pink hair, a hat, a peacock tail, and the aforementioned yellow dress spoke:
??. ??????: Darlings, if I get the crystal, I will use it for something worthwhile: foreseeing new fashion trends!
ROOK: Wow. Sounds like these people only came to the will reading to get the fortunite crystal.
BUDDY: Isn't that why we're here?
ROOK: Well... sort of. I mean, they're planning on using it, but...
ROOK: A young woman in a black dress and gray vest, and with a bat-shaped ponyholder, weighed in:
??????: You know, there's more to this estate than just the crystal.
ROOK: Just then, a voice came from the top of the stairs.
???: Ca c'est bon! Everyone is here.
ROOK: We turned to face the speaker: a young woman of color with a purple, scarlet, and yellow dress with bones on it, and a hat with a skull.
ZOE: Thank you all for accepting my invitation. As You Know, we have gathered tonight to read the will of my great uncle, Cyrus. Soon we will know who among us will inherit uncle's estate. But first—
BUDDY: We eat dinner!
ZOE: Yes, sir, dinner is planned, but before that we should all adjourn to the Crystal Room. I wish to hold a reading with all of you.
BUDDY: Well, uh, yeah, that's why we're here.
ZOE: I mean with the crystal. Hence why we're going in the Crystal Room.
ROOK: Hmm. Interesting.
ZOE: If you would please follow me to the Crystal Room, we may begin.
ROOK: She went in. Soon...
ZOE: EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
ROOK: I rushed inside and found her crying.
ZOE: Oh, Rook, it's terrible...
Rook? Not Poppy, whose invitation you came in on? Guess she saw you coming...
ZOE: The crystal! It's been destroyed!
ROOK: She began sobbing again.
ROOK: That's not good...
ZOE: We must tell the others right away!
BUDDY: Hey, cool, pal! Am I narrating now?
Yeah, for a little bit. But only because Rook was out of the room.
BUDDY: That's fine with me! So the rest of us were gathered near the door.
??????: What's going on in there? We heard a scream!
TREVOR: I hope no one's in danger!
BUDDY: Don't worry, everyone. Rook's in there right now. I'm sure everything is fine. Don't let her elegant attire fool you; she's tough as bricks!
ROOK: Well, it looks like someone snuck in there and smashed the fortunite!
BUDDY: Okay, pal! Take it away!
ROOK: Thanks, Buddy. This news was, understandably, not welcome.
TREVOR: What?! Everything is not fine! It is not fine at all!!
??????: No! This...this can't be!
ZOE: I'm sorry, everyone. I...I know you're only here for the crystal. I don't know how this happened! I understand if you want to leave.
TREVOR: Our prize lays shattered upon the floor!
Lies.
ROOK: No, it's the truth. I saw it.
No, I mean it lies upon the floor. Not only is it better grammar, but it makes a nice rhyme with "prize".
TREVOR: If you're finished... I see no reason to stay.
ROOK: I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to leave the mansion until we figure out who smashed the fortunite.
ROOK: The crowd dispersed.
??????: I can't believe it's gone...
ROOK: I decided to check out the crystal room. Upon examining the crystal, I found that it had been dented: a tool was used to break it. A search for footprints revealed two sets. I looked at the fireplace, and noticed that the soot had been disturbed, and the curtains swayed in the wind even though the windows were shut.
WALKER: Well, your agents have arrived, and they look... hungry. Well, at least they don't look like they'll blow our cover.
ROOK: I left the room. Two sets had entered; one set left? Huh. I backtracked along the path. Along the way, I looked at the pictures: Morcubus?!? A relative, perhaps, of Roxie's; Barney; Faith Connors? I found a figurine of her for my trophy case.
SPENCER: Ok, your agents have all arrived in my parents' baseme — I mean, my Fortress of Light. Wow, what a crew — I should have cleaned this place up! Phew! Ok, time to begin. FOR JUSTICE!
ROOK: On the way out, I decided to ask Zoe and the guests about the crystal.
ROOK: Please tell me about the crystal.
ZOE: Oh, it was so wonderful. Just gazing into it allowed one to see glimpses of the future.
ROOK: And you said it was made of pure fortunite?
ZOE: Yes, it measured 97.9 gibbospratz on the Sprattler-Gibson purity scale.
ROOK: That's pretty pure. And can you think of why anyone would want to destroy it? Or how it would be destroyed?
ZOE: Steal it, yes. Destroy it? No. And I'm unsure what could damage such a strong crystal. Gordon might know more about fortunite.
ROOK: Interesting. thank you, Zoe.
ROOK: By process of elimination — ruling out the other girls from the guests I didn't know — I figured that was the bald man. I approached him for information.
ROOK: What do you know about fortunite?
GORDON: I know a good deal about its properties. Was there specific information you wanted to know?
ROOK: I was looking for information on what could break a fortunite crystal.
GORDON: Ah! That information is kept in the authoritative fortunite reference book: Fame and Fortunite, A Complete Reference.
ROOK: Do you have a copy on you?
GORDON: No, but Cyrus had a rare first edition copy of it in a cardboard box at the top of the library.
ROOK: Thanks, Gordon!
ROOK: I decided to postpone the track following to pursue this book. First, I'd have to find the library.
ELMIRA: Pizza? Now there's an extravagance. A simple baked dough circle with cheese, sauce, and toppings should be good enough for anyone!
ROOK: The first room on the wall to the left of the front door was the kitchen.
RENÉE: Yay! Your team is treating my pigs very well and seem to know how to get them around. Let's get started!
ROOK: The second door was the dining room. Inside, I found a cabinet of expensive tchotchkes... and a figurine of Gordon with a scepter and skull? Huh. Anyway, I tried conversing with the girl...
ROOK: Tell me about yourself, Violet...
VIOLET: I don't like to talk about myself.
ROOK: Could you at least tell me anything about how you knew Cyrus?
VIOLET: I don't like to talk about my past.
ROOK: Okay, Violet. I guess I'll leave you alone.
ROOK: ...but you see how that went. I briefly considered the lampshade schtick, but decided against it.
WALKER: Phase one of the mission is complete: we've entered the pizza parlor and found important evidence. One, the restaurant is huge on the outside, but only has four tables. Two, it's called Papa Morc's. Sounds familiar somehow...
ROOK: Back in the foyer, I noticed a picture of Violet with Cyrus on a magazine cover on a desk.
NOVA: Hmm, do virtual worlds have artificial gravity...?
ROOK: Back up the stairs was the only door connected to the foyer that I had not gone through. It was locked, however, but that wasn't going to stop me. I entered, and poked around. I found a podium...
1 Charismatic, 2 Smarts.
ROOK: ...and a spooky-looking book...
2 Paranormal, 1 Smarts.
ROOK: ...in a box on the main floor, and a set of paints among some shelves. But it was time for the voyage to the top of the library. I F-spaced a box over by a shelf unit, and climbed on top. From a distance, I set some boxes and a pile of books near some more shelves and used them to get on top. Speaking of tops...
PINKY: You probably think I don't have a favorite pizza topping, but I do: bleu cheese! Hah!!
ROOK: I made my way onto some more shelves and hopped from box to box to a chest with a cookie jar...
2 Natural, 1 Charismatic.
ROOK: ...a piano, different from the one from the mountain summit...
2 Charismatic, 1 Smarts.
ROOK: ...and an ant farm inside.
2 Natural, 1 Charismatic.
BEEBEE: Me and Preston go to the movies all the time! I bet it'd be more fun if we brought all my bunnies.
ROOK: I went back to the shelves and walked on a wide board with piles of books. One book was called "Stacking Boxes: How To Move Up In the World."
SPENCER: Step one of our plan is going well: we've obtained a second account to see if someone is using my character, Lord Galahad.
ROOK: Another board led to a wooden chandelier. Some of the chandeliers had books on them! Good thing the chandeliers are secure. I leapt to a platform, then another, and onto boxes and crates. Farther along the platform was a stack that was too high to jump over, but I used F-space to create a path around it.
WALKER: We've examined the menu, and we're ready to put the next phase of our plan into place. We're not sure what toppings to investigate. What should we order? High-yield explosive or deep dish veggie?
ROOK: I decided the explosive would yield the best results. At any rate, I found the book! Apparently, silver hammers are the only thing that can damage fortunite. That discovered, I took the trek down to thIIIIEEEEE!!! OW! You said you weren't going to do that!
Sorry! I tried, but I overshot the second chandelier! I'm not used to going the long way...
ROOK: I feel sorry for your Sims. At any rate, I got back to tracking.
WALKER: Wait a minute, this isn't a pizza at all! It's some kind of plastic explosive designed to look like pizza. It's even got cheese and sauce on it! Glad we didn't take a bite of that. This evidence will really help our case!
ROOK: I wondered what tipped him off: the texture, or the fact that that's what he ordered?
PRESTON: My family financed the development of an online game once. Turns out it's a lot harder than it looks.
ROOK: I went outside. On the way to wherever the tracks were leading, I saw a door in a stump. It was locked, but you know how that goes.
RENÉE: Ok, we've managed to wrangle the pigs onto the highway. Now we're really moving.
ROOK: Inside were two chests: one with a capelet, a desk...
1 Charismatic, 2 Smarts.
ROOK: ...and a chair in it...
2 Charismatic.
ROOK: ...and the other with a soundtrack in it.
"Swank Swamp Rock". 4 Charismatic, 1 Paranormal.
TRAVIS: Hey, Rook. Check it out! I programmed my phone to order pizza with the press of a button. Oops, I ordered 37 pizzas while the phone was in my pocket...
ROOK: Back outside the stump, I decided on a whim to get on top of it. Once there, I found a figurine of Carl as a fire fighter! Back at the trail, I found that they came from a toolbox. A locked toolbox. Simple enough to open. There was a hammer inside, so...
ROOK: Roxie, can you analyze this hammer? I need to know if it's made of silver.
ROXIE: Yep, it's a silver hammer. What's more, I found traces of some kind of crystal on it!
SPENCER: Oh no, someone is trying to sell Lord Galahad's Legendary Blade of Extermination! We're going to track down the culprit. With this L33t crew, I'm sure we can do it!
WALKER: We've done it! We've discovered that Papa Morc's is a subsidiary of MorcuFront, Inc. and this MorcuFront company provides the weapons hardware that Papa Morc's then distributes. Rook, we're close to something, I can feel it!
ROOK: I decided to take the jet back to HQ for a bit to collect rewards and see if I wanted to start another mission.
LEAF: Check out all these hot cars! I wish we had more cars in the forest and less pigs.
...fewer...
JENNY: Man, I really want a pizza now. Do you think that since the mission was a success, Ewan would order us all pizza?
ROOK: We apparently got ninja outfits out of that, and a new mission.
- Sewer Search
WALKER: Ok, we're closing in on MorcuFront. I've traced the weapons delivery trucks from the pizza place to a utility access grate by the sewers. Following this sewer passage should reveal the truth. Who's with me?
3 stars. 20 minutes. Smarts/Nature. New object and trophy.
- Missions
- Candypaluna: **; A/S; Object, Mission
- Episode X: **; S/P; Object, Trophy
- Equipment Recovery: **; A/S; Outfits, Mission
- F, Robot: ***; S/C; Outfits, Mission
- Failing Forest: ***; N/P; Object, Paint; Recruit
- H 4 XXOR 3 D!: ****; S/C; Object, Recruit (IN PROGRESS)
- High School Yearbook: ***; C/P; Object, Mission
- Legendary Cheese: *; A/N; Outfits, Trophy
- Missing Bugs: **; N/A; Objects
- Ol' Gabby's Mine: **; S/N; Objects
- OMG Glow Sticks!: **; S/C; Outfits, Mission
- Pig, Camera, Action!: *; N/C; Outfits, Recruit (IN PROGRESS)
- Roadie Despair: *; C/S; Objects, Recruit
- The Sadness Parade: **; C/P; Outfits (ON HOLD)
- Sewer Search: ***; S/N; Object, Trophy (NEW!)
- Snack Thief: ***; S/C; Outfits, Object, Trophy
- Tainted Broth: ***; P/N; Object, Paint, Recruit
- The Bushido Code: ***; A/C; Outfits, Object
- Yeti Begins: **; P/N; Objects, Paint
- Recruits and Recruitables
- Beebee: N,A,3C (ON A MISSION)
- Elmira: P,N,3S
- Leaf: 3N,2C (ON A MISSION)
- Nova: 2P,N,2S (ON A MISSION)
- Pinky: P,4C
- Preston: A,3C,S (ON A MISSION)
- Roger: 5A
- Agent Rosalyn: 2P,3S (ON A MISSION)
- Travis: 3C,2S
- Agent Vic: 3P,C,S
- Wolfah: 3N,2A (ON A MISSION)
Next time: Undead to Rights!
