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New Recruits Tend To Drown A Lot
Ranger Six

[table of contents]
Combat Report - November 3, 2040
Personnel assigned to combat zone:

SWS - Displacer/Sonic

Kwas: Okay, people, you know the drill. Find Echo, kill Echo, take his sub. Move out!

(WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB)

Yana: Hmm, this Displacer handles much more smoothly than the old Coelecanths ever did.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Yana: Oh, who's shooting at me?

(WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB)

Yana: Oh boy. Ladies and gentlemen, looks like we've got lobsters.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Yana: Someone give me a read on this empty-handed lobster.

(VWOINK-BZBZBZ)

x2wolf: Technician, sir.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Lobster Man: GURHOWL.

Yana: Wrong. CORPSE.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Yana: There's another lobster north of the transport - it just shot at me. Aldred, give me a read.

(VWOINK-BZBZBZ)

Aldred: Soldier.

Yana: Good.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Yana: It just ducked behind a coral reef.

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Brown: I see it. Deploying shock bomb.

(THUPP-BLOOP)

Brown: Lobster down.

Yana: All right, people. Continue the sweep.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Princeps: Lobster sighted, southwest of the sub.

(WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB)

Yana: Sighting confirmed. Read it.

(VWOINK-BZBZBZ)

Aldred: Soldier.

Yana: All right then.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Lobster Man: . . .

Yana: One less Echo to deal with.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Princeps: Lobster to the south!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Princeps: Scratch that. TWO lobsters to the south!

Yana: I'll cover you, Commander.

(WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB)

(KASHOW-CRACKLE)

Lobster Man: GURHOWL.

Yana: One down.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Lobster Man: . . .

Princeps: Two down.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

(WHSS-THUD)

Princeps: . . . Oh shit. A third just lobbed a grenade right at my feet.

(WHUMPH)

Princeps: Bwuh? Was that grenade a dud?

Yana: Actually, I think it was dumb luck. That, and your armor.

Princeps: Wow. I am NEVER complaining about how heavy this suit is, ever again! And as for YOU, Mister Lobster . . .

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Lobster Man: GURHOWL.

Yana: I don't think it particularly liked the focused ultrasonics we just fed it, do you?

Princeps: Nope. Don't think so.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Bell: What was that?

(CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Bell: Oh, SHIT! LOBSTER!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Lobster Man: . . .

Bell: Whoo. That was TOO close!

(WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB)

Yana: Gentlemen, I've found the sub. Prepare to close in and take it.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

(WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB)

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

(THUD THUD THUD)

Yana: Blunt claws against heavy armor? Not particularly effective. Focused ultrasonics against Lobster Man organs, however . . . .

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Yana: VERY effective!

(WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB)

Yana: Ladies and gentlemen, we have more lobsters upstairs in the sub.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Lobster Man: GURHOWL.

Yana: One of them is down . . . where'd the other one go?

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

nos: . . .

(WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB)

Yana: Oh, there you are.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Yana: Oh, you're not getting away THAT easily!

(WHOOB WHOOB WHOOB)

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Lobster Man: GURHOWL.

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

(CRUMPLE-SPLAT)

Yana: Well, sh-*KSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

Princeps: Well, so much for the Displacer . . .

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Princeps: Looks like that was the last one, people. Let's clean up and go home.

28th Jan '11 11:18:15 PM flag for mods
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