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New Recruits Tend To Drown A Lot
Ranger Six

[table of contents]
Combat Report - October 27th, 2040
Personnel assigned to combat zone:

Myst: Okay, people, this mission is simple in principle. We break the surface garrison, clear out the central lift shaft, and descend into the heart of the colony in order to destroy the colony's Synomium Device. Doing that will cause a chain reaction throughout the facility that will ensure its complete destruction.

However, as we're facing Echo on his home turf, we can expect heavy resistance - they're not going to give up without a fight, and they're going to throw everything they've got at us. So, be on your guards, and shoot to kill!

All: Aye-aye!

Myst: All right, then! Let's DO this!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Harriman: Jellyfish south of the sub!

dmboogie: Walter, watch your flank! Whistler at your nine!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Tasoth: WHISTLE.

Harriman: Thanks, Lieutenant.

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Myers: I've got the jellyfish sighted. Lining it up.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Myers: No effect!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Hallucinoid: SPLAT.

Bambera: That got it.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

dmboogie: Aquatoid near the doors!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

Harriman: Lieutenant! Jellyfish above you!

Bambera: Myers and I have this.

Myers: Damn straight we do!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Hallucinoid: SPLAT.

Myers: One, two, sucks t'be you!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Harriman: Whistler north of the sub!

(THUPP-BLOOP)

Tasoth: . . .

(SHLERK SHLERK SHLERK SHLERK)

dmboogie: BRAIN!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Tentaculat: SPLORP.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Zbrigniev: Got another whistler! Taking the shot!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Tasoth: WHISTLE.

dmboogie: All right, people, time to break out the heavy artillery. Chaudrhy, punch a hole in the colony walls; Connor, I want you to shell the lift area. Got that?

Chaudrhy: Roger that.

Connor: You bet'cha.

dmboogie: All right. Go for it!

(CHK-CHK)

Chaudrhy: Course plotted. Torpedo away!

(BZZT-CRACKLE BZZT-CRACKLE BZZT-CRACKLE)

(BLOOP)

dmboogie: Okay, the colony is holed! Let's make some Eekburgers!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

dmboogie: Got a whistler inside the colony. Connor, he's near the lift shaft - see if you can't do us a two-for-one with a torpedo, aye?

Connor: Aye-aye, Lieutenant!

(CHK-CHK)

Connor: Course plotted - torpedo away!

(BZZT-CRACKLE BZZT-CRACKLE BZZT-CRACKLE)

(BLOOP)

Tasoth: WHISTLE.

Aquatoids: EEEEOW!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Myst: Whoa, hey, good thing we got this Echo right off - he had one of those torpedo launchers!

dmboogie: Hey, that just means spare ammo for our two artillerymen!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

dmboogie: Whoashit, Echo!

Calhoun: I see it, sir!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Tasoth: WHISTLE.

dmboogie: Nice shooting, Calhoun!

Calhoun: Thank you, sir!

(VWOINK-BZBZBZ VWOINK-BZBZBZ VWOINK-BZBZBZ VWOINK-BZBZBZ)

(ASSORTED MUTTERING AND GRUMBLING FROM THE AQUANAUTS)

Myst: Pull yourselves together, people! We've got a JOB to do - we can go home once it's done!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Bambera: Echo by the main entrance to the gravlift!

Myst: Take it out, Bambera!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

Bambera: Got 'im!

dmboogie: Good. Okay, people, move up and secure the lift shaft - standard assault pattern!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH SQUELCH SQUELCH SQUELCH)

Bambera: Echos in the lift shaft!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Tasoth: WHISTLE.

Bambera: One down!

(UNINTELLIGIBLE ALIEN SCREAMING)

Myst: Keep at it, people! We've got them panicking!

dmboogie: Whistler on the upper balcony!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Tasoth: WHISTLE.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH SQUELCH CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Bambera: Echos on the balcony! Lieutenant?

dmboogie: I'm with you, Bambera! Let's take them down!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

dmboogie: Well, so much for that idea . . .

Myst: Let me toss a shock bomb up there.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH SQUELCH SQUELCH CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

(THUPP-BLOOP)

Tasoth: . . .

Myst: Well, that's one down.

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Tasoth: WHISTLE.

dmboogie: And that's the other. Okay, looks like the lift shaft is secure. Move in, people - time to blow this popsicle stand!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH SQUELCH SQUELCH SQUELCH CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)
22nd Jan '11 9:12:35 AM flag for mods
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