New Recruits Tend To Drown A Lot

Ranger Six

Combat Report - May 29, 2040

Personnel deployed to combat zone:

  • Ensign Myst Rose
  • Ensign Princeps Augustus
  • Able Seaman The Monkey Mon
  • Able Seaman dmboogie
  • Able Seaman Arilou
  • Able Seaman Jacques Cousteau
  • Able Seaman x2wolf
  • Able Seaman nos
  • Able Seaman Guido Talbot
  • Seaman Parson Gotti
  • SWS - Coelecanth/Gas Cannon

Yana: This should be a fairly simple operation, people. We're dealing with their smallest vessel this time around, which means a significantly smaller crew than any from previous recovery operations.

The only drawback is that this will be a fairly tedious operation as we hunt for any survivors - we've got a lot of ground to cover. With that said, I'll take point.

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

Yana: At the risk of tempting fate . . . no sign of Echo in the immediate area. Move it out, people!

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Gotti: I hope I get to kill something this time around. I'm sick of just guarding the sub.

Yana: You'll get your chance, Parson. Just stay calm.

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

Yana: Wha . . . what is THAT?!

The Monkey Mon: Looks like a giant lobster to me, sir. Taking the shot.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

The Monkey Mon: No luck. Try the Coelecanth's Gas Cannon, sir.

(PSSHEW-KAWHANG)

Yana: Direct hit . . . no effect.

(THUD THUD THUD)

Yana: Shit, it's right on top of the Coelecanth!

Talbot: COVERING FIRE, NOW!

(PSSHEW-THWUD)

(THUPP-CRACKLE THUPP-CRACKLE THUPP-CRACKLE THUPP-CRACKLE)

(PSSHEW-THWUD PSSHEW-THWUD)

(PSSHEW-KAWHANG)

Talbot: Dear God, we're hitting it with everything we've got! Why won't it DIE?!

The Monkey Mon: Hang on, let me try something.

Yana: What's your plan?

The Monkey Mon: Thermal Tazer to the head.

Yana: All right, give it a shot.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

The Monkey Mon: . . . shit, there's another one. Gotta hope this works, then - otherwise I'm screwed.

(KZAASH)

Lobsterman: . . .

The Monkey Mon: Whew. Now to get under cover, and out of the other's line of fire.

Yana: Good idea. And maybe we should try dragging that stunned . . . whatever it is back to the sub so we can study it, and never mind the sub.

Gotti: I second the motion. I mean, I'm all for killing Eeks, but not if they can shrug off the weapons we have right now.

dmboogie: I'll disarm it.

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

dmboogie: Okay, got him. And his gear.

Yana: Everyone, fall back to the sub!

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

The Monkey Mon: YAUGH!

Arilou: Shit, they got Monkey! I'm going back for him!

Gotti: Like hell you are! The man's dead, we can't do shit for him!

(WHUMPH)

Talbot: OW! Fuck, my arm just got sliced open!

Yana: Just get on the sub, Talbot! There's a medbay back at base!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Yana: x2wolf, get us the hell out of here!

x2wolf: Yes, sir! Initiating "getting the hell out of here" maneuver!

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