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New Recruits Tend To Drown A Lot
Ranger Six

[table of contents]
Combat Report - May 1st, 2040
Personnel deployed:

Yana (via remote link): All right people, this is a straight-up bug hunt. Secure the upper decks, then sweep the Chavez's cargo hold. If you see anything that's not crew or X-Com, neutralize it. Get it?

Princeps: Got it.

Yana: Good. Now, get out there and deal with those Eeks!

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

dmboogie: Contact! Diving suit monster on the upper deck!

Myst: Let's take the goddamn thing out!

The Monkey Mon: Bringing the rain!

(THUPP-CRACKLE THUPP-CRACKLE THUPP-CRACKLE THUPP-CRACKLE THUPP-CRACKLE)

Calcinite: . . .

dmboogie: Well, it's not dead - but it is down.

Myst: For now. All right people, spread out. Four by four, sweep this ship top to bottom!

(VWOINK-BZBZBZ)

Arilou: No, no, no, not again . . .

Myst: Snap out of it, soldier!

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

(WHIRR-CLUNK)

The Monkey Mon: I'm in the galley. Nothing to report.

(WHSS-THUD)

(WHUMPH)

dmboogie: Now I know why Echo likes to scare people. It's because they suck at baseball.

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

The Monkey Mon: SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

Myst: Speaking of surprises . . .

(THUPP-CRACKLE THUPP-CRACKLE)

Calcinite: . . .

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

The Monkey Mon: Sorry to interrupt your patrol, Echo, but I've got my orders.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Arilou: Boogie, got an Echo atop the bridge. Take it out, would you?

dmboogie: With pleasure.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEEOW!

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Princeps: I know this is a cargo ship, but storing all these barrels of JP-5 in front of this door has got to be breaking half a dozen fire codes, at least!

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

nos: Echo by the bridge tower!

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Myst: Echo sighted on the cargo deck!

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

(THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP)

nos: Hey, Myst, your diving-suited boyfriend woke up and he's trying to beat me to death.

Myst: One, it's not my boyfriend. Two, why don't you just kill it instead of talking about it?

nos: Hey, I thought you might want a crack at it.

Myst: I'm on the bridge, not in the cargo bay. Can't exactly see it, idiot.

nos: All right, all right, don't bite my head off!

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Calcinite: GURRAGHOW . . .

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

dmboogie: Got an Eek by this cargo lift.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

dmboogie: Aww yeah.

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Princeps: Excuse me, sir, you're rather in the way.

(KZAAASH)

Chavez Crewman: . . .

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

(WHIRR-CLUNK)

Princeps: Another one of those diving-suit critters. I think these Eeks have been watching one too many B movies.

(KZAAASH)

Calcinite: . . .

Princeps: That's him down.

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

(WHIRR-CLUNK)

Princeps: Okay, easy now . . .

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Aquatoid: EEEOW!

nos: Hey, Princeps, leave some for us, will ya?

Princeps: Don't sweat it, nos. There's plenty more belowdecks.
19th Dec '10 3:52:14 PM flag for mods
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