about live blogs add a live blog
New Recruits Tend To Drown A Lot
Ranger Six

[table of contents]
Combat Report - April 6, 2040
Personnel deployed:

Yana: All right, people. We don't have as many troops for this mission as we did for the last; however, we do have the Coelecanth up and running again, so I'll be controlling it from Augustica Base.

Also, keep in mind that this is one of their medium vessels; expect a lot of heavy Alien resistance. Tazer the enemy troops if you can, but don't take any unnecessary risks. Okay?

Myst: Understood, sir.

Yana: All right, then. Now, let's get out there and find that sub!

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

Yana: Heading southeast from the Triton. No sign of Echo as yet.

(CLUNK CLUNK CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Farnan: I say, there's one of the blighters over by that black smoker!

(PSSHEW-THWUD)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

Farnan: He shan't trouble us any more.

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

Yana: I have an Echo sighted.

(PSSHEW-KAWHANG)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

Yana: He's down - oh, look, there's another one over by that lava flow.

(PSSHEW-KAWHANG)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

Yana: And another Eek speared.

syd: Got something near where that Eek grenade went off. Taking the shot.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

(THUPP-BLOOP)

Myst: . . .

Farnan: . . .

Yana: . . . That's new.

syd: I think I see the guy that fired . . . whatever the hell that weapon was. FIRE IN THE HOLE!

(WHSS-THUD)

(WHABOOM)

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

syd: AUGH!

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Princeps: Whoa, hey. Eeks north of the sub!

Talbot: I see 'em. Eat this, Echo!

(PSSHEW-WHUMPH)

Gill Men: HURGH . . .

Talbot: Guess high explosive is toxic to Eeks, heh heh!

Princeps: Got a couple more Eeks ahead. Shit, one of them's got those weird grenades in hand!

Yana: Target him first, then!

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

(CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH)

dmboogie: Hey, I see the Eek that got Myst and Siegfried. Taking the shot.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

(THUPP-BLOOP)

dmboogie: . . .

Tracy: . . .

Cousteau: Sacre bleu! You monstre, 'ow could you DO such a theeng?

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Talbot: He's still standing, Jock.

Cousteau: JACQUES!

Talbot: Whatever, man. Don't worry, I got just what the doctor ordered - a few grams of lead azide with a contact-fused detonator!

(PSSHEW-WHUMPH)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

Talbot: And that takes care of THAT thorn in our side.

nos: Now for the other one - the one on the ridge to the north.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Yana: Oh, no you don't!

(PSSHEW-KAWHANG)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

(CRUNCH CRUNCH)

Yana: Oh-ho-ho, trying to sneak up on me now? Have a harpoon!

(PSSHEW-KAWHANG)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

(KSSHOW-CRACKLE)

Yana: Mmm-hmm . . . I've found the sub, and there's an Eek standing guard near it. Someone put him out of my misery, please.

nos: On it.

(THUPP-CRACKLE)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

(WHUMPH)

Yana: Hrm. He must have been getting ready to throw a grenade at the Coelecanth. Good thing you killed him, eh nos?

nos: Yeah, I guess. Oh, hey, I've found the main entrance. Talbot, you want to blow the bloody doors off?

Talbot: You got it, nos.

(PSSHEW-WHUMPH)

Talbot: Someone order a wall-door salad?

Everyone: *anguished groans*

Yana: With the doors thus disposed of, I'll send the Coelecanth inside and take a look around, see if I can't soften up the crew a bit for the rest of you.

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

(CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK)

Yana: SURPRISE!

(PSHHEW-KAWHANG)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

(PSHHEW-BLOOP)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

Yana: . . . What the hell just happened? Talbot, did you fire on the sub?

Talbot: Negative. Whatever happened, the Eeks did it to themselves.

Gill Man: *incomprehensible, panicked screaming*

Yana: Hm, sounds like someone's not happy.

Princeps: I think it came from the upper deck of the sub, Yana.

Yana: Well, let's see if I can get the Coelecanth up these stairs . . . ah-hah, I see the Eek.

(PSSHEW-KAWHANG)

(BLOOP)

Gill Man: HURGH . . .

Yana: And that, it seems is that.

(WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR)

Yana: Um, could someone give me a hand? The Coelecanth seems to be hung up on something.
18th Dec '10 7:51:51 PM flag for mods
comments
TV Tropes by TV Tropes Foundation, LLC is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available from thestaff@tvtropes.org.
Privacy Policy