Cakman's Writings: El Goonish Shive NP: Return of the... Jed-shive?
Hallo everyone. Cakman here again on AHR's account. Sorry for the delay in updates. I was finishing up reading Order of the Stick last Monday and never got around to making my update. '' When we last left our Heroes, faggot was taking lesbians out to din-din. We now rejoin them for further hilarity.
- Looking at the second panel, I am slightly confused. Is it supposed to be night time, or is that the traditional circle-thing? And is there a dome on top of the mall, or is a meteor about to demolish the denizens of Moperville?
- I like the owl on the ledge of the mall, though. If anything, that is at least a decent callback.
- I find it odd that Nanase and Ellen only realize that Justin is taking them to the mall not when they are driving in the general direction of the mall, when they pull into the mall parking lot, when they park the car in the mall parking lot, or when they get out of the car and begin walking towards the mall, but only when Justin brings them directly in front of the mall's facade, and states "WE EAT HERE AT MALL THIS MALL WE EAT HERE IS PLACE OF EAT WE EAT AT HERE AND HERE IS MALL AND WE EAT AT MALL," that Nanase reacts with surprise at eating in a mall.
- And besides, where did Nanase think they were going to go? Dorsia? They're bagging a free meal off of Justin, and complaining when he doesn't want to bring them to The Palm?
- And disregarding that, what mall doesn't have a decent restaurant? The local Galleria has a Ruby Tuesdays, a Mexican Grill, and a Tuscon Bistro (The latter of which always looked like something weird was going on in it, but I never really ventured over to it. It's somebody else's problem.).
- Someone forgot to finish coloring Nanase's eyes in the third panel.
- Normally, I don't really notice the dots in the comics like AHR does, but the ones on the lampposts in the second panel are just plain distracting. They make the street lamps look like they're made out of cork.
- And what the hell is that on the left in the second panel? Is it supposed to be a human carrying bags? It looks like a blob.◊
- And Justin's jacket looks like a bathrobe.
- Jesus, Ellen, is it that hard going into a mall? Do you have that little experience? Would Elliot do the same thing? I bet he wouldn't, would he? He'd be okay. But YOU KNOW HOW THEM GIRLS LOVE TO SHOP!
- First of all, I'm having a bit of a nervous breakdown, as I'm not sure whether to label panel four as a circle or action lines. I think I'll go with circle. It still has the solid color.
- Look at Justin's hair in the first panel. Then look at Justin's hair in the second panel. What the hell happened there? He looks like the guy from A Flock of Seagulls◊. I only wish Samuel L. Jackson was calling him that as he lie on a couch.
- I just noticed the title of the strip. Is the implication that Justin is doing this so Nanase and Ellen will become an item? If so: Ew.
- HAY LOOK A BACKGROUND!
- I really hate the Nanase/Ellen relationship on so many levels. There's just so many little things about it, from the very fact that Nanase broke up with Ellen when she was a man, to the fact that Nanase is blushing because Ellen has her arm around her.
- Also, the unrealistic dialogue annoys me. Who the hell uses the word "karmic retribution" in everyday talk? I say the phrase "I hope he gets his comeuppance," more.
- Wait a minute.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
- IS THAT... IS THAT MELISSA!?
- JUSTIN DOES NOT WANT TO TALK TO HER OR ABOUT HER. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. AND HE DOES NOT WANT TO TALK TO NOAH ABOUT HER. OR ELLIOT ABOUT HER. JUSTIN IS OVER MELISSA AND THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO IT AND SHE IS OBSESSED AND JUSTIN IS NOT SO JUST DROP THE ISSUE AND LEAVE IT ALONE, YOU GUYS.
- Hmm. Not sure about the first panel, as there are action lines, but only in the top righthand corner. Ah, what the hell. I'll give it to him.
- I'm not surprised that Justin dated Melissa first. Look at her lesbian haircut. He probably just got confused, and thought he was going to bond with her.
- Also, she too has the awesome bathrobejacket.
- Apart from that though, while I'm sure that I'm not supposed to, I personally like Melissa. And the fact that she's convinced that Justin is just going through a gay phase is kind of funny. Granted, it isn't as funny when the joke is used over and over again, but it isn't terrible.
- Looking at the back of Justin's head now, I must admit that he has an interesting hairstyle. I am curious as to how it is exactly possible, though. It seems like it would be difficult to only cut the lower part.
- There was a kid in my high school, (who I believe still goes to AHR's school) named Drew, and every time I see Noah, I am reminded of him. Drew is one of those weird, hyper-sexual kids. He has long hair, cosplays as girls, sometimes wears a "fur tail," and declares himself to be a "pansexual". He is every bit aggravating as that description makes him out to be. And yet, despite his myriad personality flaws, his utter apathy for what other people think of him and his flagrant uniqueness has prevented me from hating him outright. I still mock him, of course. But it's a good mock. No, actually. No. That's a lie. It's not a good mock. But it isn't a terrible mock. We'll see if Noah has the same effect on me.
- OH GOD NOAH WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE WHERE IS IT
- What is honestly so great about Justin? Do we ever find out from Melissa? Or is it another "These people are in lurve because these people are in lurve" thing that we see so much?
- When Nanase wears her sweater, it makes her look like she has a muffin top, which is slightly hilarious.
- She's blushing. Because lesbian. IT'S SO MUCH MOOOOOOREE THAN SHE EVER FELT WITH A MAAAAAAN.
- Also, Ellen apparently went to a mall food court and got a plate of beef stroganoff.
- YAWWWWWWWWWWN. DO SOMETHIIIIIIIIING.
- Jesus Christ WE GET IT. SHE HAS A CRUSH. And when the fuck did Nanase go from "notcrush" to "I WANT TO LICK YOUR ASSHOLE AFTER YOU TAKE A BIKE RIDE"?
- So Ellen had gotten chicken. The previous strip did not contain chicken. It contained a sea of gelatinous mass that resembled tapioca.
- And Nanase is eating scrambled eggs with shards of glass mixed in.
- Also, good thing those sound effects are there in the third panel. I wouldn't have known what she was doing otherwise.
- See, Dan Shive's art at this point is in a weird middleground. His character models are okay. His faces are, for the most part, really good. But his characters exist in a barren wasteland of nothingness. They exist in the "Nowhere" area Squidward went to when he was time traveling (Sb 129, I believe the episode was called).
- Damn. How irresponsible of her.
- Also, that may very well be the rudest store clerk I have seen in my life. You don't hurry along the customer apart from saying "we're closing soon." And you sure as hell don't insult them or tell them to "get out of here."
- And the picture of Nanase and Justin in the third panel look really weird. They look like the stick figure people that AHR draws all the time.
- Is that supposed to be a DVD on the counter in the last panel? Because it looks like money. The guy might just be inattentive.
- DAN SHIVE LIKES LESBIANS.
- Also, didn't Greg say that the show only ran for one season? Wouldn't they put it all on one DVD?
- Just another art quirk: Look at Ellen in panel one, and then again in panel two. Giant mouth, tiny mouth. And her hair looks different.
- ...I don't see the similarity between them. Her eyes aren't even the same. And I'm confused: Is the Lucky Bunny Bounty show supposed to be Live Action in-universe, or is it Anime? Because if it's anime, then Nanase wouldn't look much like it at all.
- And I still don't understand the point of not coloring in Nanase's eyes. What is it supposed to show? Is it even on purpose?
- "My bunny" is another groan-worthy line that shows Dan trying to mash these two lesbians' genitals together with as high a velocity as possible.
- Okay, I am unsure what to put for the final two panels. On one part, he DID draw a window and a car seat, but on another part, what the fuck is happening on the top part of both panels. That is a gigantic car. So I'll settle and put the two half-nothings together and the two half-backgrounds together, resulting in one of each.
- Another thank-you for the helpful sound effects. I was wondering what Nanase and Ellen were doing back there. I thought they might have just been having an opened-mouth staring contest.
- JESUS NANASE WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR EYES.
- And not a single emotion was felt. I know that the two will end up together. Of course they will. Dan Shive could never pull a "500 Days of Summer"esque relationship. It would deprive him of masturbation fodder. So lighten the fuck up, Nanase. You'll get your vagina soon enough.
We end at May 25th, 2004, and we go for six years until February 19, 2010, when Shive mysteriously stopped making them. I. Have. Six. Years. Worth. Of. This. Lunacy. God damnit.
Oh, and here◊
is our background progress. It almost looks like a Coat of Arms, doesn't it? A disappointing, uninteresting, Coat of Arms. All symmetrical and everything. Actual backgrounds are rapidly disappearing.
Ah well. I'll see you next time! Cakman out.