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In Which Collen Reads "The Kingdom of Rain"
Chapter 1: In Which a Butterfly Dies
Let me tell you why this story already angers me immensely:

Strike 1: The Lemony Narrator is absolutely killing this for me. I don't understand how someone could write 150,000 words in this voice and live to tell the tale... unless he didn't survive, and this story is actually one giant suicide note leading up to the solution of Chesterfield's mysterious death!

Strike 2: A frustrating an uncharacteristic grammatical error in the second sentence completely ruins the illusion of Lemoniness for me.

Strike 3 (annulled on a technicality): Liberal use of the Dead Parents trope and over-the-top gore to inspire sympathy for the protagonist. If you want me to like your hero, don't guilt me into it.

Strike 4 (technically strike 3): Author insertion. I don't mean to jump to any conclusions, but despite being a girl Elena is still an apparently exceptional writer who dreams of being published. I wonder what or who that might be an analogue of...
Jergling
Yes, I do agree a bit, at least on Strike 1 and Strike 3. The lemonyness isn't really something I'm a fan of, but oh well. I can't help how an author writes, as along as he or she makes a good story. So far I haven't seen enough to judge, so I'm trying to remain neutral. I will go through this entire first book and see if I want to do the rest when I'm finished.
Collen
U.S. Presidents are introduced with the tune "Hail to the Chief", which I believe was originally Scottish.
SKJAM
I liked the narrative. It made me smile with its quirkiness. One thing that I think would improve it though is for it to not state stuff so much. Sure, there's some showing going on, but the statements turn me off.
CaligulaSympathizer
Chapter 2: In Which Elena Conquers a Corset
I think this writer is confusing Lemony Narrator with crappy fanfic writing. They typically don't point out their own editing errors, making you wonder why they didn't just fix them.
Eegah
Hey, be nice! It's better than a fanfic - IT'S A FICTION... press?

Get ready for Chapter 3 "In which the narrator repeatedly breaks character and uses jarringly uncharacteristic figures of speech".
Jergling (edited by: Jergling)
This is fun :D
CaligulaSympathizer
Chapter 4: In Which We Sort Priorities
MOAR!
mangraa
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