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Twilight: Of Sues, Sparkles, And Other Things Beginning with S
Chapter 1: In Which Bella Arrives On An Alien Planet
Oh boy, won't this be fun to watch.
SpellBlade
"Seventy-five degrees?" Is this the same Phoenix that I know, here?

The "bronze" hair doesn't seem so weird to me, though, because I have a friend whose hair is exactly that color. It's basically brown with red highlights. Which makes sense when you see that his dad has brown hair and his mom has red hair. So, uh—point to Meyer?
FreezairForALimitedTime
My aunt has hair like that as well, though I don't know if she dyes it or not since I'm pretty sure it's naturally brown. The mom was blond in this case, though.
lee4hmz
Yeah, I know what Meyer was getting at. Just seemed like an odd word to use when "auburn" would have been OK. At least Bella doesn't meander to the refrigerator to get victuals. [/thesaurus]
YonTroper
Twilight liveblogging? Now this I have to see :D
slowzombie
I dunno; to me, "auburn" usggests a level of red somewhat higher than "bronze" and oh my god why am I being pedantic about this I need fresh air.
FreezairForALimitedTime
This is eyelet lace. It's pretty and breathy. If y'still care.

FurikoMaru
Funny. Truly hilarious.
PeopleRstupid
I suspect, from reading a blog by an ex-Mormon young woman, that that's the way Joseph Smith, their prophet, is described by them. She specifically meant the eyes and paleness, but the hair probably counts too.

83.44.130.30
I liked the pacifier joke. What a baby?! Oh, and us teen girls don't use the word "stipulation". As a matter of fact, I had to look it up and before that, I thought it was a joke about her making a typo with the word "situation". Let's just say I don't have the highest vocabulary.
BibsDibs
^ So expanding on my comment earlier, Stephenie Meyers is wrong.
BibsDibs
Chapter 2: In Which Edward Glares Bizarrely... Or Not
I'm pretty sure it was Bobby G's readthrough of Twilight that actually started the Liveblogging phenomenon, so yes, this definitely has been done before. Not that I mind.

Also, yeah, Bella is a bitch. The whole story would've been so much more interesting if it had focused on Bella initially hating Forks, but being won over by the eccentric charm of the locals. Like Northern Exposure with vampires.
Idler20
So far, I have to give the books one point over the movies, you are actually told Bella's mother's name. It's not a big point, but Twilight isn't big on points... so there we go.
slowzombie
...Is Bella's mom an important character or something?

Anyway, yeah, it has been done before. It's been done before to death. You're about three years too late to be sailing uncharted waters by talking smack about this series.
EponymousKid
@Idler: Actually, I think it was Furiko Maru's watching of TTGL. But forum history; she is a strange beast.

Mmmm. Bacon 'n' eggs.
FreezairForALimitedTime
Wait a minute, how is thinking a guy wants to avoid you egotistical? Doesn't making that assumption imply that you think he dislikes you? How is thinking someone dislikes you arrogant? If anything doesn't it mean you have low self-esteem because you see qualities in yourself worth disliking enough to avoid you. Is it because it revolves around her or something?
BibsDibs
Chapter 3: In Which Bella Stares Down A Destroying Angel
Yanno, I hate "It's all a dying dream"-interpretation with a burning passion, but... well, Bella imagining everything that passed after the van heading towards her a little too fast as a sort of messed-up dream would explain... quite a bit, actually.
slowzombie
HOW IN THE HELL DID THIS PARKING LOT FULL OF STUDENTS NOT SEE EDWARD RUNNING AT SUPERSPEED AND STOPPING A VAN WITH HIS HANDS?!?!?!?!?

Weirdness Censor? Okay, so Edward tells them that she probably had a concussion to explain away her attempts to explain a superfast superstrong guy saving her life by stopping and denting a van with one hand, so how does he explain away everyone else seeing it happen?

I guess if leaps of logic like this can be tolerated in a phenomenally popular work, then aspiring authors can take note: all you need is to do one thing your audience really likes, and they'll forgive everything else you do wrong.
BonsaiForest
Now I picture an Edward-shaped hole in the side of the van, and I'm giggling.
FreezairForALimitedTime
I get feeling weird, wearing a neck brace because it kind of looks silly. But taking it off without the doctor giving you the OK first? 23 things wrong with her head indeed.
BibsDibs
Chapter 4: In Which Bella Is Epically Bitchslapped (Verbally)
So, Bella seems to think that Edward can only love her or hate her, which is to say there's no feeling approximating "You're an ok person" or "I see no reason why you should be smashed by a car." I mean, infuriatingly enough, she ends up being right, and Edward truly loves the living hell out of her, but the line of reasoning is... flimsy at best. This bugs me, but it's not the only thing in Twilight, so... well, I'm glad I'm not the one liveblogging this :P
slowzombie
I have known many-a-person who has driven to Phoenix for a shopping trip, so that doesn't strike me as too absurd. The thick-headed high-school students not understanding "Girl's Choice," though...
FreezairForALimitedTime
What, driving to Phoenix from Washington for a shopping trip? Are people seriously that dumb?
YonTroper
Chapter 5: In Which There Is Some Awkward Banter About Spiders
Hey, we Yanks call it PE all the time! It's a regional thing.

Brits also seem to think crackers (of the Christmas and New Year's) variety are completely nonexistant here, but that too is pretty regional.

Oh uh right. The LB. I think I might actually find banter about radioactive spiders funny... but I imagine ol' Meyer doesn't have the chops to pull it off in that quirky, geeky way that makes it fun.
FreezairForALimitedTime
The only interesting thing is that Jessica, Angela and Lauren have all followed Bella's suggestions for who to ask to the dance, because Bella is the almighty matchmaker.

I detect Fixer Sue! So there's another Mary Sue type to add to Bella's list.

I actually laughed at the line about butterflies. It's so corny it's funny.
BonsaiForest
depending on the writer Bruce Wayne horrifically pale bipolar emo not a vampire most of time though
faradayangel
Chapter 6: In Which Jacob Is Awkwardly Shoehorned In For A Cameo
Mooooooooreeeee xD
213.137.123.212

71.111.189.243
Yeah, kinda snowed under with work at the moment, but I am going to update tomorrow even if my arms get sawed off at the elbow. Promise.
YonTroper
this formatting works wonderfully if you don't want to redlink something.
cheeseypoofs
sorry. this formatting (no spaces.)
cheeseypoofs
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