| 1 | [[quoteright:200:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/clickhole_logo_3555.png]] |
| 2 | ->''"All web content deserves to go viral."'' |
| 3 | --> — [=ClickHole=] slogan |
| 4 | |
| 5 | On June 12, 2014, Website/TheOnion debuted the {{Spinoff}} website [[http://www.clickhole.com/ ClickHole]] as a ShallowNewsSiteSatire parodying websites like [=BuzzFeed=], Upworthy, ''The Huffington Post'', and ''Website/{{Cracked}}''. In 2020, it was sold to the manufacturers of TabletopGame/CardsAgainstHumanity by the private equity group which gained control of The Onion. |
| 6 | |
| 7 | [=ClickHole=] claims that unlike those websites, which make "pandering and misleading content, most tragically falling short of going viral", its site mission is to have its articles shared with millions, even before viewers can understand what they just read, making it a veritable [[{{Pun}} black hole of clicks]]. It lampoons a fairly diverse range of content, from social justice blogging to adorable baby videos to inane quizzes, "listicles" and even {{Gamebook|s}}-style "[=ClickVentures=]", that The Onion's format doesn't let it cover. |
| 8 | |
| 9 | [[AC:[=ClickHole=] works with their own pages:]] |
| 10 | * "WebOriginal/FindOutYourDragonNameAsLongAsItIsntRugarthBecauseThatOneIsMine" |
| 11 | |
| 12 | [[http://www.clickhole.com/about Not to be confused]] with the 1972 film ''[=ClickHole=]'', starring Creator/BillyDeeWilliams. And them's the facts! |
| 13 | ---- |
| 14 | !![=ClickHole=] provides examples of: |
| 15 | |
| 16 | %% * AbandonedHospital: [[https://resistancehole.clickhole.com/we-got-him-president-dump-is-going-to-lose-it-when-he-1825886833 We Got Him: President Dump is Going to LOSE IT When He Sees This Photo of a Super Creepy Abandoned Hospital]]. |
| 17 | * TheAce: The quiz [[https://clickhole.com/how-well-do-you-know-johannes-1825124677/ How Well Do You Know Johannes?]] will say you know Johannes if you click on the many extremely elaborate and dramatic answers, but if you click on anything remotely normal or boring, the quiz will insist you're thinking of Frank, cause Johannes is just too cool to be 53. |
| 18 | * AchievementSystem: The website keeps track of how many times you've clicked on it, [[http://www.clickhole.com/achievement-hole/ marking each milestone as you reach it]]. It resets when you reach the {{Cap}} of 9,999 clicks. |
| 19 | %%* AlasPoorYorick: [[https://clickhole.com/speeding-up-the-game-the-mlb-will-no-longer-allow-pitc-1825123719/ Speeding Up The Game: The MLB Will No Longer Allow Pitchers To Deliver Stirring Monologues Between Pitches]] |
| 20 | %%* AllLoveIsUnrequited: [[https://www.clickhole.com/take-that-drumpf-planters-peanuts-just-announced-that-1825120682 Take That, Drumpf! Planters Peanuts Just Announced That Even Though Mr. Peanut Really Wants To Have Sex With Donald Trump, They Will Never Let Him]] |
| 21 | * AllMusicalsAreAdaptations: ExaggeratedTrope; [[https://clickhole.com/10-gifs-we-d-like-to-see-turned-into-broadway-musicals-1825123473/ one article]] is just a list of gifs that could be adapted into musicals. |
| 22 | %%* AlternateAesopInterpretation: InUniverse. [[https://clickhole.com/5-tom-hanks-movies-that-taught-me-life-is-probably-not-worth-it/ 5 Tom Hanks Movies That Taught Me Life Is Probably Not Worth It]] |
| 23 | %%* AndIMustScream: [[https://clickhole.com/terrible-pringles-has-revealed-its-logo-is-a-severed-h-1825123246/ Terrible: Pringles Has Revealed Its Logo Is A Severed Head Perpetually Stuck In The Brief Period Of Consciousness That Follows Decapitation]] |
| 24 | %%* AnimateDead: [[https://clickhole.com/what-two-men-choose-to-reanimate-in-the-privacy-of-thei-1825123926/ What Two Men Choose To Reanimate In The Privacy Of Their Own Bedroom Is Their Own Business]] |
| 25 | %% * ArbitrarySkepticism: [[https://clickhole.com/watch-this-atheist-disprove-religion-1825126319/ Watch this Atheist Disprove Religion]]. [[spoiler:He does it by killing an angel.]] |
| 26 | * TheArtifact: A lot of their recent quizzes function more like checklists, still with a "1." at the beginning even though it's the only "question". |
| 27 | * AttendingYourOwnFuneral: [[https://clickhole.com/7-things-you-have-to-do-when-attending-your-own-funeral-1825123248/ 7 Things You Have To Do When Attending Your Own Funeral In Disguise]] |
| 28 | * BaitAndSwitch: |
| 29 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/which-character-from-the-office-are-you-1825124536/ "Which Character From 'The Office' Are You?"]] [[spoiler:It's actually [[StagingAnIntervention an intervention for the reader's drinking problem]].]] |
| 30 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-things-food-industry-ceos-dont-want-you-know-473 "10 Things Food Industry CEOs Don't Want You To Know"]] [[spoiler:The secrets have nothing to do with the food, but the [=CEOs=] themselves.]] |
| 31 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/6-hand-gestures-considered-insulting-in-foreign-culture-1825120573/ "6 Hand Gestures Considered Insulting In Foreign Cultures"]] features the OK sign (considered a rude gesture in Spain) as its masthead picture. Not only is this gesture not actually in the list, the images used in the list are self-produced and not stock. |
| 32 | ** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCflW7A7NK0 "We Put 8 Teens In A Room With A Gun And Pretty Soon Human Nature Took Over"]] [[spoiler:The teens completely ignore the gun and just start making out.]] |
| 33 | ** "[[https://clickhole.com/maintaining-my-virginity-has-given-me-incredible-power-1825122262/ ‘Maintaining My Virginity Has Given Me Incredible Powers’: 5 Questions With Steven Spielberg]]". Spielberg got the inspiration for one of his movies from seeing [[{{Film/Jaws}} "a huge shark eating someone with its enormous jaws"]].[[spoiler:The movie was ''Franchise/IndianaJones'']] |
| 34 | * BambooTechnology: [[https://clickhole.com/a-silver-lining-to-covid-after-months-of-decreased-pollution-with-humans-in-lockdown-gorilla-populations-are-starting-to-develop-rudimentary-nuclear-weapons/ Gorillas build nuclear weapons out of forest materials.]] |
| 35 | * {{Bathos}}: Like ''The Onion'', [=ClickHole=] depends heavily on bathos for much of its humor, juxtaposing mundane content that could easily be mistaken for ''[=BuzzFeed=]'' with serious topics. |
| 36 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/the-ukraine-crisis-explained-in-gifs-and-in-depth-polic-1825120679/ The Ukraine Crisis Explained In GIFs And In-Depth Policy Papers From Esteemed Political Institutions]]. |
| 37 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/8-baby-penguins-that-are-pretty-cute-but-don-t-stand-a-1825123006/ 8 Baby Penguins That Are Pretty Cute But Don't Stand A Chance Against Hillary Clinton In 2016]]. |
| 38 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/why-your-mother-and-i-are-getting-divorced-as-explained-1825121614/ Why Your Mother And I Are Getting Divorced As Explained By "Orange Is The New Black" GIFs]]. |
| 39 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/are-you-a-real-90s-kid-with-lupus-1825124500/ Are You A Real '90s Kid With Lupus?]] |
| 40 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-impossibly-cute-animals-eating-people-food-guest-685 9 Impossibly Cute Animals Eating People Food, By Guest Aggregator Jonathan Franzen]] |
| 41 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/10-messy-animals-who-need-a-bath-1825121256/ 10 Messy Animals Who Need A Bath]], [[spoiler:which involves the aftermath of an oil spill.]] |
| 42 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/uplifting-this-donated-computer-lab-helps-students-tak-1825123459/ Uplifting: This Donated Computer Lab Helps Students Take Their Cyber-Bullying To The Next Level]] |
| 43 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/4-reasons-why-emma-watson-is-the-absolute-greatest-and-1825120480/ 4 Reasons Why Emma Watson Is The Absolute Greatest, And 4 Reasons Why Jennifer Lawrence Is The Absolute Greatest: A List Moderated By Jim Lehrer]] |
| 44 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/bad-news-better-call-saul-fans-earth-will-likely-be-1825122987/ Bad News, 'Better Call Saul' Fans: Earth Will Likely Become Uninhabitable In The Next 100,000 Years]] |
| 45 | ** Then there are Onion-style articles that relay unremarkable things in a professional tone, like [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/im-not-inviting-jessica-p-my-birthday-party-heres--522 "I'm Not Inviting Jessica P. To My Birthday Party. Here's Why"]] (from the point of view of a third-grader) and [[https://clickhole.com/update-dad-if-you-re-reading-this-i-want-you-to-kno-1825123883/ Dad, If You're Reading This, I Want You To Know I'm Upstairs. And It's Time For You To Drive Me To Connor's House]]. |
| 46 | * BarbarianHero: President Janus of The Outerlands, in [[https://clickhole.com/which-future-u-s-president-are-you-1825124460/ Which Future U.S. President Are You?]], counts as one. He founded New America by reuniting the Farther Tribes and teaching them agriculture. |
| 47 | * BearsAreBadNews: The subject of the site's first [=ClickVenture=], "[[https://clickhole.com/would-you-survive-a-bear-attack-1825124306/ Would You Survive A Bear Attack?]]" |
| 48 | * BizarroEpisode: Invoked examples in [[https://clickhole.com/when-good-tv-goes-bad-the-worst-episodes-of-the-best-t-1825122516/ When Good TV Goes Bad: The Worst Episodes Of The Best TV Shows]] |
| 49 | * BlackCloak: [[https://clickhole.com/shaking-up-washington-donald-trump-just-appointed-a-cl-1825122754/ Shaking Up Washington: Donald Trump Just Appointed a Cloaked Man as Secretary of the Hook]]. |
| 50 | %%* BodyHorror: |
| 51 | %%** [[https://clickhole.com/6-things-everyone-experiences-when-they-go-through-seco-1825123336/ 6 Things Everyone Experiences When They Go Through Second Puberty]] |
| 52 | %% ** [[https://clickhole.com/i-know-this-sounds-like-spam-but-i-really-did-double-m-1825123933/ I Know This Sounds Like Spam, But I Really Did Double My Mass In TWO WEEKS And Now Women Can’t Get Enough Of Me And I’m SCARED]] |
| 53 | %% ** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC66l5tPIF4 Watch This Comedian Perfectly Shut Down a Heckler]] |
| 54 | %% ** [[https://clickhole.com/changing-the-game-ryan-lochte-drastically-reduced-his-1825120712/ Changing The Game: Ryan Lochte Drastically Reduced His 200-Meter Time By Becoming As Long As The Pool]] |
| 55 | %%** [[https://clickhole.com/the-5-worst-parts-of-being-a-woman-in-a-world-where-fee-1825123641/ The 5 Worst Parts Of Being A Woman In A World Where Feet And Hands Are Switched]] |
| 56 | %%** [[https://lifestyle.clickhole.com/the-7-guys-you-date-in-college-all-gooped-up-into-one-1825120637 The 7 Guys You Date In College, All Gooped Up Into One Moaning Blob]] |
| 57 | %%** [[https://lifestyle.clickhole.com/body-positivity-ftw-finally-there-s-a-doll-for-girls-w-1825122074 "Body Positivity FTW: Finally There's A Doll For Girls Who Have Long, Rectangular Bodies And Necks That Hinge Backwards"]]. [[spoiler:The doll in question is a Pez dispenser.]] |
| 58 | * BreadEggsMilkSquick: [[https://clickhole.com/are-you-an-introvert-an-extrovert-or-a-sea-monster-1825124480/ Are You An Introvert, An Extrovert, Or A Sea Monster?]] |
| 59 | %% * BreakTheCutie: [[https://clickhole.com/ever-since-my-wife-died-i-haven-t-been-able-to-go-hogwi-1825124154/ Ever Since My Wife Died, I Haven't Been Able to Go Hogwild About Anything]] |
| 60 | * BritishBrevity: [[https://clickhole.com/6-american-television-shows-that-started-in-england-1825123039/ 6 American Television Shows That Started In England]] makes this into a major running gag, with nearly every show listed being less than ten episodes long and usually ending with a Christmas special. |
| 61 | * BroughtDownToBadass: In "[[https://clickhole.com/20-times-pope-francis-won-us-over-1825122278/ 20 Times Pope Francis Won Us Over]]", one of the times was when he temporarily lost his divine powers during an eclipse and had to save the Catholic faith with just his wits alone. |
| 62 | * ButThouMust: [[https://clickhole.com/somebody-has-to-be-scooter-1825124484/ Somebody Has To Be Scooter]] |
| 63 | --> Look, we get it. On a 'Which [[Franchise/TheMuppets Muppet]] Are You?' quiz, nobody wants to end up with Scooter. But someone's gotta do it. Who's it gonna be? |
| 64 | * CallASmeerpARabbit: {{Discussed|Trope}} in [[https://clickhole.com/when-i-started-writing-game-of-thrones-i-didn-t-know-1825123843/ When I Started Writing 'Game Of Thrones,' I Didn't Know What Horses Looked Like]], in which George R. R. Martin tried to write around his ignorance, and in the process depicted horses as having wheels, [[AllAnimalsAreDogs growling and barking]], having wings, capable of being strangled by a child with just two fingers, having shells and horns, being put into satchels, having beaks, and being confused for men. |
| 65 | * CallBack: |
| 66 | ** In January 2015, the site posted [[https://clickhole.com/we-have-a-winner-say-hello-to-the-most-shared-image-on-1825120570/ We Have A Winner: Say Hello To The Most Shared Image On The Internet]], which features an image of a stoic man holding a glass of beer, with a typical Impact Font caption saying "HERE'S TO YOU". More than a month later, a new article called [[https://clickhole.com/we-have-a-winner-say-hello-to-the-most-shared-video-on-1825123223/ We Have A Winner: Say Hello To The Most Shared Video On The Internet]] was published, this time featuring the image remade as a video. |
| 67 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/whoa-morgan-made-the-mandatory-field-trip-t-shirt-look-1825121854/ Whoa: Morgan Made The Mandatory Field-Trip T-Shirt Look Cute]]. Morgan Later makes an appearance in [[https://clickhole.com/whoa-morgan-s-writing-her-a-s-differently-now-1825120858/ Whoa: Morgan’s Writing Her A’s Differently Now]], and again in [[https://clickhole.com/whoa-morgan-brought-coffee-to-first-period-1825121677/ Whoa: Morgan Brought Coffee To First Period]]. |
| 68 | * TheCaper: [[https://clickhole.com/inspiring-this-shelter-helps-women-leave-their-abusive-1825122007/ Inspiring: This Shelter Helps Women Leave Their Abusive Husbands By Training Them To Pull Off The Greatest Casino Heist Vegas Has Ever Seen]] |
| 69 | * CaptainObvious: Parodied in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG_h0Nm_YOU This Video Seems Silly, But It Makes a Good Point]]: the "good point" it makes is just having the text "racism is bad" bouncing around on screen [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext to wacky music with a dancing dinosaur in the background]]. |
| 70 | * CaughtWithYourPantsDown: |
| 71 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/please-no-one-come-trick-or-treating-to-my-house-this-1825124098/ Please, No One Come Trick-Or-Treating To My House This Year, For I Will Be Masturbating To Pornography]] |
| 72 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/fall-from-grace-the-dalai-lama-has-broken-his-vow-of-c-1825120500/ Fall From Grace: The Dalai Lama Has Broken His Vow of Celibacy By Masturbating to a Picture of Jessica Rabbit In An Airport Bathroom]] |
| 73 | * ChessWithDeath: ''[[https://clickhole.com/heartwarming-when-chris-pratt-heard-a-young-fan-was-dy-1825122078/#! Heartwarming: When Chris Pratt Heard A Young Fan Was Dying, He Challenged Death To A Chess Match For The Kid’s Life]]'' |
| 74 | %% * TheChosenOne: [[https://clickhole.com/are-you-the-one-the-prophecy-speaks-of-1825124616/ Are You The One The Prophecy Speaks Of?]] |
| 75 | * ChristmasCreep: {{Exaggerated|Trope}} in "[[https://clickhole.com/okay-this-is-getting-ridiculous-stores-are-already-ro-1825123482/ Okay, This Is Getting Ridiculous: Stores Are Already Rolling Out Their Christmas Stuff For Christmas 2015]]", published in December 2014. |
| 76 | * ClickbaitGag: This website [[InvokedTrope invokes]] clickbait with every headline, since the entire website is one giant gag poking fun at cheap tactics meant to get web-revenue. They even titled a long rambling post [[https://clickhole.com/the-time-i-spent-on-a-commercial-whaling-ship-totally-c-1825124286/ "The Time I Spent On A Commercial Whaling Ship Totally Changed My Perspective On The World"]] which is actually the entire text of ''Literature/MobyDick''. |
| 77 | * CloudCuckooLand: The entire website can be summed up as "what if [=BuzzFeed=] had its headquarters in Cloudcuckooland?" Even by parody standards it can get extremely bizarre. |
| 78 | * ComicallyMissingThePoint: |
| 79 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/real-life-tetris-this-man-died-in-a-falling-brick-acci-1825121778/ Real-Life Tetris! This Man Died In A Falling Brick Accident]]. |
| 80 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/the-world-s-dumbest-criminals-1825122988/ The World's Dumbest Criminals]] |
| 81 | --->[On Lee Harvey Oswald] This dum-dum was trying to kill President John F. Kennedy but totally botched it by firing two shots into the president's neck and back before FINALLY hitting him in the head! Nice aim, Annie Oakley! |
| 82 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/exclusive-dozens-of-leaked-photos-of-ben-affleck-dress-1825122042/ EXCLUSIVE: Dozens Of Leaked Photos Of Ben Affleck Dressed As Bruce Wayne]] |
| 83 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/5-iconic-movie-scenes-that-were-actually-fake-1825122575/ 5 Iconic Movie Scenes That Were Actually Fake]] |
| 84 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/could-david-lynch-s-cryptic-tweet-about-twin-peaks-on-1825121439/ Could David Lynch's Cryptic Tweet About 'Twin Peaks' On Showtime Hint At A Possible 'Twin Peaks' Revival?]] |
| 85 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/an-underdog-story-these-amazing-parents-outlived-their-1825121800/ An Underdog Story: These Amazing Parents Outlived Their Child]] |
| 86 | ** From [[https://clickhole.com/this-will-change-the-way-you-watch-back-to-the-future-1825126296/ This Will Change The Way You Watch 'Back To The Future']]: |
| 87 | --->'''Narrator:''' Here's a fun one: when Marty arrives at the mall, we can see it's called Twin Pines Mall. Then Marty goes back in time to 1955.\ |
| 88 | ''(Footage explicitly shows Marty running over one of the twin pines at Peabody's farm.)''\ |
| 89 | '''Narrator:''' When he comes back, the mall is called ''Lone'' Pine Mall, which is an anagram for Lean Lemon Lip, the name of this character from Biff's gang.\ |
| 90 | ''(Footage shows '50s Biff doing the "Hello? Anybody home?" routine on '50s George, with an arrow labelled "Lean Lemon Lip" pointing to 3D.)'' |
| 91 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/awesome-this-lucky-school-got-two-proms-1825122011/ Awesome! This Lucky School Got Two Proms]]. The narration is completely oblivious, but the school is in [[DeepSouth Georgia]], and the header photo shows one prom room full of white students, the other full of black ones. |
| 92 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/ultimate-life-hacker-meet-the-woman-who-says-she-ll-do-1825122093/ Ultimate Life Hacker? Meet The Woman Who Says She’ll Do Things, Then Doesn’t Do Them]] |
| 93 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/humanity-could-totally-pull-off-the-tower-of-babel-at-t-1825124107/ Humanity Could Totally Pull Off The Tower Of Babel At This Point]] |
| 94 | * ComicalOverreacting: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9-_Zpq1G8o Unimaginable: This Psychopath Watched a Whole YouTube Video On the Train At Full Volume]] |
| 95 | * CompositeCharacter: [[https://clickhole.com/education-win-this-amazing-school-is-streamlining-its-1825123071/ Education Win: This Amazing School is Streamlining Its History Course By Combining All the Founding Fathers Into A Single Composite Character]]. |
| 96 | * ContinuityNod: On May 31st of 2016, ''[=ClickHole=]'' posted an article called "[[http://web.archive.org/article/if-donald-trump-elected-we-will-remove-these-photo-4386 If Donald Trump Is Elected, We Will Remove These Photoshops Of Him Bald Out Of Respect For The Office Of President]]". On November 15th of the same year, the article was gone and replaced with [[https://clickhole.com/we-don-t-know-how-to-take-down-these-photoshops-of-bald-1825123676/ We Don’t Know How To Take Down These Photoshops Of Bald Donald Trump, So We’ve Stretched His Face Out All Wide So Nobody Can Recognize It’s Him]] |
| 97 | ** The man who wrote the screenplay in [[https://clickhole.com/if-people-think-there-s-a-quick-fix-to-illegal-immigrat-1825124153/ If People Think There’s A Quick Fix To Illegal Immigration They’re As Misguided As The Scientists In My Screenplay ‘Chronotaur: Labyrinth Of Time’]], Thomas Brugel, later brings up his screenplay again in [[https://clickhole.com/abstinence-only-education-is-as-doomed-to-fail-as-the-r-1825124192/ Abstinence-Only Education Is As Doomed To Fail As The Robo-Chronotaur Built To Fight The Chronotaur In My Screenplay ‘Chronotaur: Labyrinth Of Time’]] |
| 98 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/our-best-65-guesses-as-to-what-the-hanging-tennis-ball-1825123688/ Our Best 65 Guesses As To What The Hanging Tennis Ball In Garages Is For]] is followed up nearly a month later with [[https://clickhole.com/51-more-guesses-as-to-what-the-hanging-tennis-ball-in-g-1825120890/ 51 More Guesses As To What The Hanging Tennis Ball In Garages Is For]] |
| 99 | ** Guzmer appears in the background of [[https://www.clickhole.com/behind-the-scenes-at-clickhole-how-we-create-viral-con-1840238054 their behind the scenes featurette]]. |
| 100 | * CosmicHorrorStory: An increasing number of their articles edge into this genre, going from "funny parodies of clickbait" to just plain ''weird.'' |
| 101 | * CowboyBebopAtHisComputer: [[invoked]]In [[https://clickhole.com/which-one-of-those-shape-guys-are-you-with-the-hats-1825124486/ Which One of Those Shape Guys Are You, With the Hats?]], the author just can't remember the name of the Literature/MrMen, or just about anything about them. |
| 102 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/the-7-most-shocking-plot-twists-of-all-time-1825121552/ The 7 Most Shocking Plot Twists Of All Time]] |
| 103 | --->[on ''{{WesternAnimation/Frozen|2013}}''] Who saw it coming when, at the end of this gripping crime drama set in 1960s Boston, we realized we were definitely in the wrong theater. |
| 104 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/8-things-we-loved-about-j-k-rowling-s-new-harry-potter-1825120792/ 8 Things We Loved About J.K. Rowling’s New Harry Potter Short Story]] uses intentionally false descriptions of the short story "[[Franchise/HarryPotter Dumbledore’s Army Reunites at Quidditch World Cup Final]]", from claiming that there is PurpleProse about the characters' capes (the closest the actual story has is Luna Lovegood's Quidditch World Cup robes), to revealing that Hagrid had been eaten by "Better Hagrid" (a bigger giant who's identical to the original Hagrid), to saying the story takes place at a Hogwarts school reunion. All to the point that this is the most accurate paragraph describing the story: |
| 105 | --->'''3. ''''''The Adjectives: '''As usual, Rowling is in top form with her use of adjectives, using ones like "silver," "eccentric," and even the impressively hyphenated "style-deficient." |
| 106 | * CreepyLongFingers: President Obama is pictured with them in [[https://clickhole.com/here-are-4-pics-of-the-nasty-prez-o-bumper-dipping-his-1825120527/ Here Are 4 Pics Of The Nasty Prez O-BUMPER Dipping His BUNGLER’S FINGERS In People’s SOUP AND MILK In Order To DESTROY LUNCH For All America.]] |
| 107 | * CurbstompBattle: [[https://www.clickhole.com/deeply-troubling-this-boxing-match-between-john-cena-a-1825274240 Deeply Troubling: This Boxing Match Between John Cena And Michael Caine Seemed Like It Was Going To Be For A Good Cause But No Charities Appear To Be Involved And Michael Caine Looks Pretty Injured]]. |
| 108 | * CuttingTheElectronicLeash: [[https://clickhole.com/environmental-disaster-the-oceans-are-now-irreversibly-1825121746/ Environmental Disaster: The Oceans Are Now Irreversibly Polluted With Cell Phones That Businessmen Have Thrown In After Realizing What’s Truly Important Is Family.]] |
| 109 | * DancePartyEnding: [[https://clickhole.com/thank-god-the-penguins-in-this-kids-movie-just-started-a-soul-train-to-everybody-dance-now-which-means-the-movie-will-probably-be-over-soon/ Thank God: The Penguins In This Kids Movie Just Started A Soul Train To ‘Everybody Dance Now’ Which Means The Movie Will Probably Be Over Soon]]. |
| 110 | * DamnedByFaintPraise: [[https://clickhole.com/not-a-great-sign-every-blurb-on-this-book-cover-is-clearly-written-so-as-to-carefully-avoid-having-to-say-the-book-is-good/ Not A Great Sign: Every Blurb On This Book Cover Is Clearly Written So As To Carefully Avoid Having To Say The Book Is Good]]. |
| 111 | %% * DeadAllAlong: [[https://clickhole.com/have-you-been-dead-this-whole-time-1825124509/ Have You Been Dead This Whole Time?]] |
| 112 | * DeconstructiveParody: "[[https://clickhole.com/2-celebrities-in-snuggies-is-enough-for-a-listicle-rig-1825123132/ 2 Celebrities In Snuggies Is Enough For A Listicle, Right?]]" demonstrates how certain subjects can get too narrow for effective content aggregation. |
| 113 | * DeepCoverAgent: "[[https://clickhole.com/going-undercover-jeff-sessions-has-disguised-himself-a-1825122117/ Going Undercover: Jeff Sessions Has Disguised Himself As A Cartel Member And Strapped Himself With A Surveillance Wire In Order To Read The Wikipedia Entry For Marijuana]]" |
| 114 | * DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: |
| 115 | ** From [[https://clickhole.com/can-you-match-these-famous-comedy-quotes-to-the-coworke-1825124520/ Can You Match These Famous Comedy Quotes To The Coworkers Quoting Them?]]: |
| 116 | ---> 7. [==] '''[Every single line from ''Film/{{Airplane}}''] –''Airplane!''''' |
| 117 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/proud-and-proud-of-it-meet-the-woman-who-s-proud-and-p-1825121155/ Proud And Proud Of It: Meet The Woman Who's Proud And Proud Of The Fact She's Proud Of Being Proud]] |
| 118 | * DefiledForever: Parodied, complete with PurpleProse, in [[https://clickhole.com/6-gazebos-forever-sullied-by-the-blow-jobs-that-transpi-1825122328/ 6 Gazebos Forever Sullied By The Blow Jobs That Transpired Therein]]. |
| 119 | * DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu: In [[https://clickhole.com/welcome-to-murderfull-manor-survive-to-live-if-you-dar-1825124366/ Murderfull Manor]], one possible ending involves [[spoiler:lobbing a MolotovCocktail into the realm of the [[EldritchAbomination Octopus Gods]], with brutal results]]. Best of all, [[MundaneMadeAwesome you get a free avacado out of the deal]]! |
| 120 | * DisproportionateCelebration: A major gag of spinoff site Resistancehole, which claims that literally any slight to the Trump administration is a victory that will sink his plans. For example: "[[https://resistancehole.clickhole.com/internet-ftw-someone-photoshopped-a-gazelle-next-to-do-1825123375 Internet FTW: Someone Photoshopped A Gazelle Next To Donald Trump, And It’s Going Viral Under The Assumption That It Takes Him Down In Some Way.]]" |
| 121 | * DisproportionateRetribution: [[https://clickhole.com/incredible-taylor-swift-perfectly-shut-down-this-hater-1825123551/ "Incredible! Taylor Swift Perfectly Shut Down This Hater By Slowly And Calculatedly Destroying His Life Over The Course Of Many Years."]] |
| 122 | * DogStereotype: {{Zig Zagg|ingTrope}}ed in the "These Videos Will Really Make You Think About Pitbulls" series. The first video, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI2chhZz7Vs "This Video Will Make You Rethink The Way You Think About Pitbulls Forever"]], is a straight clickbait video of a woman playing with a pitbull. The second video, [[https://clickhole.com/this-video-will-make-you-go-back-to-the-original-way-yo-1825126140/#! "This Video Will Make You Go Back To The Original Way You Thought About Pitbulls"]], depicts an illegal dog fight. The third video, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTR7dOjpDBk "This Video Will Drastically Change The Way Pitbulls Think About You"]], is a pitbull watching footage of a [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_Rock_exercises Desert Rock exercise]] and glaring at the viewer while a DroneOfDread plays. Finally, the fourth video, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEKcydY9Zkk "This Video Will Not Play Into The Way You Think About Pitbulls Whatsoever"]], is completely irrelevant footage of a car lot. |
| 123 | * DontShootTheMessage: Invoked in "[[https://www.clickhole.com/this-video-seems-silly-but-it-makes-a-good-point-1825126152 This Video Seems Silly, But It Makes A Good Point]]." (The video is a cartoon dinosaur dancing to a silly tune with ridiculous sound effects, overlaid with the text "[[CaptainObviousAesop Racism is bad]]"!) |
| 124 | * DownerEnding: "[[https://clickhole.com/maintaining-my-virginity-has-given-me-incredible-power-1825122262/ ‘Maintaining My Virginity Has Given Me Incredible Powers’: 5 Questions With Steven Spielberg]]". Spielberg says at the end of Film/ETTheExtraTerrestrial, [[spoiler: fellow aliens immediately kill ET for failing in his mission to steal one of Elliott’s sweatshirts.]] |
| 125 | * EasterEgg: Most of the videos in the Well Played tag have a non-inconsequential chance of redirecting to a short tangentially-related "secret" video about the topic instead of showing the actual video. These range from [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMzyGsNzEJc generally harmless]] to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Rcq-mCxK_Q self-deprecating]] to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHJiF98S8b0 completely and utterly deranged]]. |
| 126 | * EdutainmentShow: "Learn Attack," which is essentially ''Series/LookAroundYou'' in the style of shows like ''WebVideo/{{Vsauce}}''. |
| 127 | * EldritchAbomination: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V01rC6PWT-A Americans and Guzmer Try British Candy For the First Time]]. |
| 128 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/10-telltale-signs-that-daddy-s-home-1825121329/ 10 Telltale Signs That Daddy's Home]] |
| 129 | * EldritchLocation: [[https://clickhole.com/the-house-from-the-windows-95-maze-screensaver-is-up-fo-1825120461/ The house from the Windows 95 Maze screensaver]]. It seems to be related to ''Literature/HouseOfLeaves''. |
| 130 | * ElvisImpersonator: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5ugelznfFY Deeply Sad: Guy Who Came In Last Place In An Elvis Lookalike Contest Gets Drunk Alone In A Dive Bar]]. |
| 131 | * EmergencyBroadcast: [[https://clickhole.com/the-following-is-a-test-of-the-jacob-tremblay-petting-a-1825122111/ THE FOLLOWING IS A TEST OF THE JACOB-TREMBLAY-PETTING-A-DUCK ALERT SYSTEM. PLEASE DISREGARD]]. |
| 132 | * EvilCounterpart: In "[[https://clickhole.com/i-d-like-to-order-a-scientific-investigation-into-how-1825120683/ ‘I’d Like To Order A Scientific Investigation Into How Tugboats Can Move Boats That Are So Much Larger Than Them’: 5 Questions With Elizabeth Warren]]", Warren says her greatest rival in the senate is Shadow Warren (who resides in [[EldritchLocation Dark Massachusetts)]]. |
| 133 | * ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: |
| 134 | ** [[https://clickhole.com/no-need-to-get-excited-it-s-just-3-funnels-1825121676/ No Need To Get Excited, It’s Just 3 Funnels]]. |
| 135 | ** [[https://lifestyle.clickhole.com/9-venus-flytraps-that-all-have-the-caption-mama-mia-1825121600 9 Venus Flytraps That All Have The Caption "Mama Mia!"]] |
| 136 | * ExtremeDoormat: [[https://clickhole.com/keeping-in-touch-sean-spicer-has-given-donald-trump-hi-1825123729/ Keeping In Touch: Sean Spicer Has Given Donald Trump His Personal Email in Case The President Ever Wants to Belittle or Humiliate Him in the Future]]. |
| 137 | * FadSuper: With [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/staying-relevant-rolaids-stepping-virtual-reality--6487 Staying Relevant: Rolaids Is Stepping Into The Virtual-Reality Arena With A Game Where You Eat A Rolaid]] |
| 138 | * FanNickname: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmop6VUIFUw This Will Change The Way You Watch 'Back To The Future']]" asserts that ''Film/BackToTheFuture1'' is merely a nickname given to the film by fans and the official title is ''Back Time the Future''. |
| 139 | * FakeOutOpening: [[https://voices.clickhole.com/hey-i-think-someone-here-left-their-computer-logged-in-1825123859/#! Hey, I Think Someone Here Left Their Computer Logged In]] begins as a blog post by a political analyst ranting about Obama and the War Powers Resolution, but by the end of the first paragraph it abruptly switches to someone else messing with the post while the analyst is away. |
| 140 | * FlyingFace: [[https://clickhole.com/teens-rejoice-pat-sajaks-head-is-floating-through-times-square-spitting-on-people/ Teens Rejoice! Pat Sajak’s Head Is Floating Through Times Square Spitting On People!]] |
| 141 | * FrankensteinsMonster: "[[https://clickhole.com/5-ways-to-tell-if-you-need-to-report-frankenstein-for-s-1825121744/ 5 Ways To Tell If You Need To Report Frankenstein For Suspicious Behavior On The Train Or If It’s Just Frankenstein Being Frankenstein]]" |
| 142 | * FunnyBackgroundEvent: [[https://clickhole.com/this-girl-s-reaction-to-tasting-ice-cream-for-the-first-1825126704/ This Girl’s Reaction To Tasting Ice Cream For The First Time Pales In Comparison To This Man Eating His 600th Pastrami Sandwich]] |
| 143 | * GagCensor: The narrator of [[https://clickhole.com/how-to-get-nude-pics-of-absolutely-any-celebrity-1825126184/ How To Get Nude Pics Of Absolutely Any Celebrity]] does this with his, uh, portraits, although apparently out of a sense of artistry rather than modesty or humor. |
| 144 | -->What I like to do is just draw a lightning bolt right here, and if you've got time, I'd like to add some action lines for emphasis—and what this does is just give it a little bit of kinetic energy and dynamism... it's just a fun, fresh way to look at your celebrities naked. |
| 145 | * GainaxEnding: [[https://clickhole.com/10-crayons-pretending-to-be-other-crayons-1825123434/ 10 Crayons Pretending To Be Other Crayons]] |
| 146 | -->The crayons… they have won again. |
| 147 | * GambitRoulette / ZanyScheme: [[https://clickhole.com/big-red-horizon-my-journey-through-the-american-justic-1825123938/ Big Red Horizon: My Journey Through The American Justice System]] is about a plan to get free lobster. |
| 148 | * {{Gamebooks}}: The [[http://www.clickhole.com/features/clickventure/ ClickVenture]] series. |
| 149 | * {{Gaslighting}}: "[[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-keep-my-grandfathers-mind-active-calling-him-eve-1589 I Keep My Grandfather’s Mind Active By Calling Him Every Day And Telling Him World War II Never Happened]]" is a bizarre inversion, where the mind games are meant to keep the victim ''sane''. |
| 150 | * {{Glurge}}: [[invoked]]Subverted by [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/what-adorable-little-girl-says-will-melt-your-hear-286 What This Adorable Little Girl Says Will Melt Your Heart]] |
| 151 | -->"Just remember: no matter how many videos you watch, or how many lists you read, you're still gonna feel all alone. I guess that's just the way it is." |
| 152 | * GeniusBruiser: The bully in [[https://youtu.be/okYrzqwK_ug this video from their YouTube channel]] is an example of the villainous type. |
| 153 | * GentleGiant: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/gentle-giant-5-times-human-skyscraper-mike-pence-u-6057?utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=feeds The Gentle Giant: 5 Times Human Skyscraper Mike Pence Used His Titanic Strength To Help The American Worker]] |
| 154 | * GlassesAreSexy: |
| 155 | ** In [[http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/these-pics-prove-glasses-look-hot-even-without-cel-805 These Pics Prove Glasses Look Hot Even Without Celebrities]] you don't even need somebody to wear them. |
| 156 | ** Present in one of the pictures in [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/you-will-not-find-hotter-pictures-kate-upton-anywh-560 You Will Not Find Hotter Pictures Of Kate Upton Anywhere—This I Vow]]. |
| 157 | --->Whoever dares question the steaminess of [[http://chimg.onionstatic.com/1678/original/480.jpg this portrait]] of Creator/KateUpton wearing glasses, let him produce one more steamy or else come forth and succumb to the cold steel of my sword. |
| 158 | * GoKartingWithBowser: [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/ability-play-bowser-has-made-our-society-more-evil-1644 The Ability To Play As Bowser Has Made Our Society More Evil]] |
| 159 | * GrandfatherParadox: [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-never-understood-my-father-until-i-traveled-thro-1070 I Never Understood My Father Until I Traveled Through Time And Became Him]] |
| 160 | * GroinAttack: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/piece-history-asteroid-hit-jfk-nuts-so-hard-he-die-6306 A Piece Of History: The Asteroid That Hit JFK In The Nuts So Hard He Died Will Be On Display At The Smithsonian For A Monthlong Exhibit]] |
| 161 | * HateSink: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAOjEDatpR4 This Man Says A Series Of Offensive Statements And Then Stands There So That You Can Yell At Him]]. |
| 162 | * HopeSpot: [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/teen-has-inspiring-message-his-bully-then-gets-tot-1236 This Teen Has An Inspiring Message For His Bully, Then Gets Totally Owned By The Bully’s Surprisingly Convincing Rebuttal]] |
| 163 | * HormoneAddledTeenager: [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/its-time-admit-depression-real-except-teens-who-ar-776 It's Time To Admit That Depression Is Real, Except For Teens Who Are Just Being Moody]] |
| 164 | * HumanoidAbomination: [[http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/dating-bad-boys-vs-dating-one-bad-man-2770 Dating Bad Boys vs. Dating the One Bad Man.]] |
| 165 | * HumansAreBastards: [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/video-will-drastically-change-way-pitbulls-think-a-431 This Video Will Drastically Change The Way Pitbulls Think About You]] |
| 166 | * HumanPopsicle: [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-dont-want-my-cryogenically-frozen-daughter-thaw--5016 I Don’t Want My Cryogenically Frozen Daughter To Thaw Out In Trump’s America]] |
| 167 | * HuntingTheMostDangerousGame: "[[http://www.clickhole.com/article/coolest-rock-star-ever-sting-just-gave-one-lucky-f-5966 Coolest. Rock Star. Ever: Sting Just Gave One Lucky Fan A 20-Minute Head Start Into The Woods Before Beginning His Relentless Hunt]]" |
| 168 | * HyperspaceArsenal: Dismissed as unrealistic in "[[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/modern-video-games-are-giving-kids-unrealistic-sta-6638 Modern Video Games Are Giving Kids Unrealistic Standards For How Many Swords They Can Carry At One Time]]," using (perhaps ironically) ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaBreathOfTheWild'''s infamous inventory limits as the catalyst for the article. |
| 169 | * IAmNotShazam[[invoked]]: One of the [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-ways-they-could-totally-screw-new-star-wars-movi-592 7 Ways They Could Totally Screw Up The New 'Star Wars' Movies]] is "Accidentally write the entire script referring to Luke Skywalker as 'Star Wars'". |
| 170 | ** James Cameron calls the na'vi "Avatars" in [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-wish-avatars-were-yellow-james-cameron-5294?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook I Wish The Avatars Were Yellow (By James Cameron)]] |
| 171 | * ICannotSelfTerminate: [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-know-sounds-spam-i-really-did-double-my-mass-two-1158 I Know This Sounds Like Spam, But I Really Did Double My Mass In TWO WEEKS And Now Women Can’t Get Enough Of Me And I’m SCARED]] |
| 172 | * IndecisiveParody: [=ClickHole=] parodies [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Native_advertising native advertising]] in its sponsored posts, but it's undeniably an example of native advertising in and of itself. It also seems to have forgotten the "parody" part lately. |
| 173 | ** They may be aware of it though. The actual sponsored content is given labels like "Poor websites in need of clicks" and "Lesser news from the web." |
| 174 | * InternetCounterattack: The moralistic breed is mocked in [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/justice-last-when-girl-was-cyberbullied-classmate--2219 Justice At Last! When This Girl Was Cyberbullied By A Classmate, The Internet Came Together And Got Her Bully To Commit Suicide!]] |
| 175 | * JapanTakesOverTheWorld: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MitTk8SMN6I 'Zelda: Breath of the Wild' Is A Masterpiece That Proves Japan Could Pull Off Another Pearl Harbor]]. |
| 176 | * {{Jerkass}}: The author of [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-had-terrible-experience-restaurant-because-i-am--565 I Had a Terrible Experience At This Restaurant Because I Am A Terrible Person]] heckles the staff, has petty complaints, and makes unnecessarily complex orders just because. |
| 177 | * JerkassHasAPoint: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/heartbreaking-worst-person-you-know-just-made-grea-7311 Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point]] |
| 178 | * JustJokingJustification: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/huge-relief-student-thought-he-was-being-bullied-y-3979 Huge Relief: This Student Thought He Was Being Bullied For Years But The Other Kid Was Just Joking Around]] |
| 179 | * KarmaHoudini: [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/now-trumps-cronies-are-starting-fall-its-only-matt-6922#1 Now That Trump's Cronies Are Starting to Fall, It's Only a Matter of Time Before Everything Works Out Totally Fine For All Guilty Parties Involved]] |
| 180 | * KickTheDog: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/fair-enough-organic-valley-just-cashed-30-years-an-4635 Fair Enough: Organic Valley Just Cashed In On 30 Years of Anti-Animal Cruelty Good Will by Hurling a Live Calf Into a Jet Engine]]. |
| 181 | * KidsAreCruel / TeensAreMonsters: |
| 182 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/no-parent-should-have-endure-agony-and-heartbreak--1119 No Parent Should Have To Endure The Agony And Heartbreak Of Having A Shitty Kid]] |
| 183 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/little-boys-grandfather-started-cry-and-his-reacti-432 This Little Boy's Grandfather Started To Cry ... And His Reaction Will Blow You Away]] |
| 184 | ** Played with in [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/what-these-kids-are-doing-their-bullied-classmate--2792 What These Kids Are Doing For Their Bullied Classmate Is So Nice That We’re Nervous They’re Setting Him Up For Something Much Worse]] |
| 185 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-one-my-garbage-sons-are-you-1458 Which One Of My Garbage Sons Are You?]] |
| 186 | * LeaveTheCameraRunning: |
| 187 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/got-three-minutes-video-will-confirm-380 Got Three Minutes? This Video Will Confirm That]] |
| 188 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/stick-butter-left-out-room-temperature-you-wont-be-368 This Stick Of Butter Is Left Out At Room Temperature; You Won't Believe What Happens Next]] |
| 189 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/stick-butter-left-out-room-temperature-patriotic-e-2721 This Stick Of Butter Is Left Out At Room Temperature: Patriotic Edition]] |
| 190 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-left-bowl-dog-food-woods-see-if-we-could-catch--963 We Left A Bowl Of Dog Food In The Woods To See If We Could Catch Sasquatch On Camera. Will Someone Watch All This Footage For Us So We Don't Have To? Thanks!]] |
| 191 | * LifeDrinker: Samuel Rage, Chief Digital Officer of [=ClickHole=].com, is (supposedly) immortal, and it's all thanks to you. |
| 192 | -->'''Samuel Rage''': Thank you so much for learning from me, and thank you for everything you've let me take from you. You're the reason I'm never going to die, and I'm so grateful to ''(points at camera)'' you. |
| 193 | * LiteralMetaphor: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/troubling-sign-donald-trump-shaking-hands-pig-has--5181 Troubling Sign: Donald Trump is Shaking Hands With a Pig That Has "Corruption" Written On It And Is Holding a Bag That Reads "Kickbacks"]]. |
| 194 | * LongList: |
| 195 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/just-tags-894 Just Tags]] |
| 196 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-bones-do-you-have-1381 How Many Bones Do You Have?]] is a checklist of all the bones in the human body. ''All 206 of them.'' |
| 197 | * MadnessMantra: Lampshaded in the title of "[[https://clickhole.com/read-the-word-glen-200-times-in-a-row-and-you-ll-slow-1825120947/ Read The Word ‘Glen’ 200 Times In A Row And You’ll Slowly Begin Realizing That It’s A Really Weird Name]]" |
| 198 | * MakeAnExampleOfThem: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/uncompromising-tyrant-unfriends-all-dissidents-exa-1624 Uncompromising: This Tyrant Unfriends All Dissidents As An Example To The Rest]] |
| 199 | * ManipulativeEditing: The ''[[http://www.clickhole.com/features/they-said-what/ They Said What!?]]'' feature satirizes the use of Manipulative Editing by real celebrity gossip sites. |
| 200 | * MeaningfulName: In their [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpaTSVlwzoM analysis]] of ''Anime/SpiritedAway'', they show how the character's names hint at a subtle message left by the film's creators. |
| 201 | --> "[[MoonLandingHoax 'Chihiro' translates to 'Moon Walker', while 'Sen', the name she adopts at the bath house, means 'hoax.' 'Yubaba' translates to 'conspiracy', while her sister Zeniba's name means 'NASA', and 'Haku' means]] 'Creator/StanleyKubrick.'" |
| 202 | * MindScrew: Exploited with "[[http://www.clickhole.com/video/if-you-cant-tell-whats-going-here-theres-something-451 If You Can't Tell What's Going On Here There's Something Wrong With You]]" |
| 203 | * {{Minimalism}}: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/finally-social-media-site-no-ads-pictures-words-co-1170 Zylch]] is a social media website that doesn't use ads, sponsored posts, or any content at all. |
| 204 | * MiniMecha: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/future-here-60-ton-mech-suit-helps-vice-principals-6606 The Future Is Here: This 60-Ton Mech Suit Helps Vice Principals Pry Apart Teens Who Get Too Close Together At School Dances At Maximum Efficiency]] |
| 205 | * MistakenIdentity: Three of the outcomes of "[[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/youre-mulan-right-1046 You're Mulan, Right?]]" (One of them is WesternAnimation/{{Pocahontas}}.) |
| 206 | * TheMostDangerousVideoGame: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/finger-skateboarding-lets-me-skate-tiny-places-i-n-6047 When asked]] If Tony Hawk ever plays [[VideoGame/TonyHawksProSkater his own video game]], he says he doesn't, but his kids do. He says the last time they played they made him watch, and when his character died in the game, he also died in real life. |
| 207 | --> "It’s brutal." |
| 208 | * MoodDissonance: "[[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/snake-biting-me-right-now-3262 A Snake Is Biting Me Right Now.]]" |
| 209 | * MyGodWhatHaveIDone: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1WhcNlQIYM A Barrel Maker Is Confronted By People Whose Lives Were Ruined By His Poorly Crafted Barrels]]. |
| 210 | * NeverLiveItDown:[[invoked]] [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/nasa-says-there-could-be-life-europa-they-also-sai-2091 NASA Says There Could Be Life On Europa, But They Also Said The 'Challenger' Was Safe To Fly, So Take It With A Grain Of Salt]] |
| 211 | %% * NoSocialSkills: Seems to be a common character quirk in their [[http://www.clickhole.com/features/clickventure/ ClickVentures]]. |
| 212 | * NobodyHereButUsStatues: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/shameful-congressional-republicans-are-dodging-que-6248 Shameful: Congressional Republicans Are Dodging Questions About The AHCA By Posing As Cavemen In The Smithsonian’s Early Man Diorama]]. |
| 213 | * NoodleIncident: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/yep-he-went-there-231 Yep. He Went There.]] talks about something Creator/CliveOwen had done. ''What'' he did is left to the imagination. |
| 214 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/uh-oh-dans-death-must-have-been-really-gnarly-if-e-7249 Uh Oh: Dan’s Death Must Have Been Really Gnarly If Everyone On Facebook Is Being So Vague About It]]. |
| 215 | * NostalgiaFilter: Parodied in [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/90s-kids-rejoice-end-net-neutrality-means-return-d-968 '90s Kids Rejoice! The End Of Net Neutrality Means The Return Of Dial-Up Speeds]] |
| 216 | * OffWithHisHead: "[[http://www.clickhole.com/article/silencing-dissent-catholic-church-has-beheaded-nei-6629 Silencing Dissent: The Catholic Church Has Beheaded Neil deGrasse Tyson For His Heretical Claim That The Earth Revolves Around The Sun]]". |
| 217 | * OnlyTheWorthyMayPass: [[https://clickhole.com/only-the-pure-of-heart-may-see-our-picture-of-muscular-1825124816/ Only The Pure Of Heart May See Our Picture Of Muscular Tommy Pickles]] |
| 218 | * TheOtherDarrin:[[invoked]] [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/all-seinfelds-ranked-1748 All The Seinfelds, Ranked]] |
| 219 | * OverlyNarrowSuperlative: |
| 220 | ** The Titular ''Owl Hour'' in [[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/would-you-make-good-contestant-owl-hour-americas-2-5244 Would You Make A Good Contestant On Owl Hour, America’s 2nd-Highest-Rated Owl Game Show?]] |
| 221 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/prodigy-16-year-old-just-became-youngest-ever-gran-4205 Prodigy: This 16-Year-Old Just Became The Youngest-Ever Grandmaster Of Drinking Out Of A Hose]] |
| 222 | * OurHomunculiAreDifferent [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-ways-wu-tang-clan-changed-hip-hop-forever-5845 5 Ways The Wu-Tang Clan Changed Hip-Hop Forever]]. One way they changed history is using alchemy to create a homunculus. |
| 223 | * OxymoronicBeing: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/living-paradox-man-has-shared-article-he-disagrees-5440 Living Paradox: This Man Has Shared An Article He Disagrees With]] |
| 224 | * ParallelPornTitles: "[[http://www.clickhole.com/article/inclusivity-win-mr-incredible-will-be-played-asian-5964 Inclusivity Win! Mr. Incredible Will Be Played By An Asian-American In An Upcoming ‘The Incredibles’ Porn Parody]]". |
| 225 | * ParentNeverCameBackFromTheStore: Subverted with "[[https://clickhole.com/communication-is-key-this-dad-just-came-back-from-getting-cigarettes-to-tell-his-family-he-was-abandoning-them/ Communication Is Key: This Dad Just Came Back From Getting Cigarettes To Tell His Family He Was Abandoning Them]]." |
| 226 | * ParentalBonus: [[invoked]][[http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-jokes-childrens-shows-you-didnt-get-kid-1373 10 Jokes From Children's Shows You Didn't Get As A Kid]] collects increasingly blatantly fake examples, all from Creator/GeorgeCarlin routines. |
| 227 | * PatrioticFervor: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/welcome-patriothole-only-viral-media-site-brave-en-6085 PatriotHole]] is, parodying far-right media, ''all'' about this. |
| 228 | * PerpSweating: [[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-muppet-baby-are-you-under-penalty-perjury-854 Which Muppet Baby Are You, Under Penalty Of Perjury?]] |
| 229 | * {{Plagiarism|InFiction}}: [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/time-i-spent-commercial-whaling-ship-totally-chang-768 The Time I Spent On a Commercial Whaling Ship Totally Changed My Perspective On the World]] [[spoiler:is just ''Literature/MobyDick'' word for word. Yes, all ''200,000+'' words of it.]] |
| 230 | * PeoplePuppets: [[https://clickhole.com/sorry-to-hear-that-billy-billy-joel-has-revealed-that-that-2pac-hologram-walked-inside-him-a-few-years-back-and-has-been-using-his-body-as-a-host-ever-since/ Sorry To Hear That, Billy: Billy Joel Has Revealed That That 2Pac Hologram Walked Inside Him A Few Years Back And Has Been Using His Body As A Host Ever Since]] |
| 231 | * PokeThePoodle: A RunningGag is ISIS committing bizarre but ultimately inconsequential crimes, with the site treating them with the utmost seriousness. |
| 232 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/disgusting-isis-has-announced-it-finds-st-louis-ar-5027 Disgusting: ISIS Has Announced That It Finds The St. Louis Arch Unimpressive And Has No Wish To Attack It]] |
| 233 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/horrifying-isis-has-spent-over-25-million-attempti-4028 Horrifying: ISIS Has Spent Over $25 Million Attempting To Recruit Elvis Costello]] |
| 234 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/latest-attack-isis-just-replaced-friends-laugh-tra-3350 Latest Attack: ISIS Just Replaced The ‘Friends’ Laugh Track With Someone Making Negative Comments About Ross]] |
| 235 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/latest-attack-isis-just-put-pentagon-ebay-3087 Latest Attack: ISIS Just Put The Pentagon On eBay]] |
| 236 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/horrible-isis-fished-all-catfish-out-old-creek-2893 Horrible: ISIS Fished Up All The Catfish Out Of The Old Creek]] |
| 237 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/disgusting-isis-just-released-2-star-review-aeropl-2620 Disgusting: ISIS Just Released A 2-Star Review Of ‘In The Aeroplane Over The Sea’]] |
| 238 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/latest-attack-isis-just-won-comic-con-incredible-p-6339 Latest Attack: ISIS Just Won Comic-Con With An Incredible Panel Moderated By Chris Hardwick]] |
| 239 | ** [[https://news.clickhole.com/disgusting-isis-has-released-a-moving-fan-tribute-vide-1825121327 Disgusting: ISIS Has Released A Moving Fan-Tribute Video To The Villainous Captain Barbossa From The ‘Pirates Of The Caribbean’ Franchise]]. |
| 240 | ** A non-ISIS example with "[[https://www.clickhole.com/a-kingpin-falls-the-leader-of-ms-13-was-apprehended-af-1825164201 A Kingpin Falls: The Leader Of MS-13 Was Apprehended After Filling Up A Free Water Cup With Dr. Pepper At A Soda Dispenser]]". |
| 241 | * PoliticalOvercorrectness: Parodies this with articles such as "[[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/lets-have-open-dialogue-about-sexuality-completely-738 Let’s Have An Open Dialogue About Sexuality That Completely Validates My Point Of View]]", or "[[http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-disney-princesses-reimagined-caucasian-698 5 Disney Princesses Reimagined As Caucasian]]" |
| 242 | * PrecisionFStrike: You are rewarded with this in a final scene in one of their Hardy Boys inspired Choose Your Own Adventures, [[http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/mysterious-shadows-skullshadow-island Mysterious Shadows of Skullshadow Island]]. |
| 243 | * ProductPlacement: The sponsored articles usually work in their respective products ''somewhere.'' It's especially notable in [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-notable-movie-villains-who-second-thought-were-p-736 7 Notable Movie Villains Who Were Probably Just Hangry]] ("Hangry Moments" is a Jack Link's advertising campaign). |
| 244 | * ProperlyParanoid: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-health-mistakes-youre-probably-not-making-you-kn-512 8 Health Mistakes You're Probably Not Making, But You Know Us, We're Worriers]] |
| 245 | * ProsceniumReveal: [[spoiler:The true ending of The Mysterious Shadows Of Skullshadow Island.]] |
| 246 | * RaceLift: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-disney-princesses-reimagined-caucasian-698 5 Disney Princesses Reimagined As Caucasian]] |
| 247 | ** Discussed in [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/just-thinking-out-loud-here-what-if-lana-del-rey-w-939 Just Thinking Out Loud Here, But What If Lana Del Rey Were Black?]] |
| 248 | * RageAgainstTheHeavens: [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/kid-definitely-going-hell-1228 This Kid Is Definitely Going To Hell]] |
| 249 | * Really700YearsOld: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/doctors-told-him-he-only-had-6-months-live-6000-ye-1668 Doctors Told Him He Only Had 6 Months To Live. 6,000 Years Later He’s Still Proving Them Wrong.]] |
| 250 | * TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: The girl from [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/what-adorable-little-girl-says-will-melt-your-hear-286 What This Adorable Little Girl Says Will Melt Your Heart]] gives one to you (that doubles as a commentary on the state of Internet media). |
| 251 | * RefugeInAudacity: |
| 252 | ** Although [[MissingEpisode you can't see it anymore]] (it was quickly taken down by [=ClickHole=]), the video "If You Grew Up With 'ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes', You Need To Watch This Right Now" showed Calvin and Hobbes [[{{Squick}} having sex]] [[RuleThirtyFour with each other.]] |
| 253 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/watch-iphone-6-unboxing-1038 WATCH: iPhone 6 Unboxing]] has the unboxer [[spoiler:take his new [=iPhone=] 6 Plus outside, toss it into a hole in the ground, and bury it, all while still talking as if it's a straight unboxing video, asking his viewers what they plan to do with their iPhone]]. |
| 254 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/shots-fired-quiznos-has-hired-subways-jared-fogle--6994 Shots Fired: Quiznos Has Hired Subway’s Jared Fogle For A New Ad Campaign Claiming That Quiznos Sandwiches Cured His Pedophilia]]. Audacious both InUniverse and out. |
| 255 | * RelaxOVision: [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/whats-happening-gaza-will-shock-you-so-watch-inste-604 What's Happening In Gaza Will Shock You, So Watch This Instead]] |
| 256 | * RootingForTheEmpire: InUniverse. According to [[https://clickhole.com/7-words-that-have-no-english-translation-1825122881/ 7 Words That Have No English Translation]], every language except English has the word "Kloyfe", which is "The act of openly rooting for Bowser and his evil servants in their eternal fight against Mario and Luigi." |
| 257 | %% * RousingSpeech: [[https://clickhole.com/what-hope-do-we-few-have-against-the-armies-of-byzantiu-1825124521/ What Hope Do We Few Have Against the Armies of Byzantium?]] has four of them, one of them a subversion. |
| 258 | * RunningGag |
| 259 | ** Footage of fire trucks being mistaken for something else, complete with misleading thumbnail image, such as [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/wow-cosplayer-builds-incredible-iron-man-costume-2687 Wow: Cosplayer Builds Incredible Iron Man Costume]]. |
| 260 | ** Harrison Ford getting caught and severely injured in over-the-top ''Franchise/LooneyTunes'' style accidents, such as [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/lucky-be-alive-harrison-ford-ate-chili-pepper-so-h-3240 Lucky To Be Alive: Harrison Ford Ate A Chili Pepper So Hot His Head Turned Into A Nuclear Explosion ]]. |
| 261 | ** All of the articles that feature around 20 or so interesting facts, such as [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/20-insanely-mind-blowing-facts-about-coffee-3870 20 Insanely Mind-Blowing Facts About Coffee]], feature a man often spoken highly of named Bruce. |
| 262 | ** Articles titled "The problem with ‘The Flash’.'', e.g. [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/problem-flash-flash-needs-go-faster-1844 Flash Needs To Go Faster]], [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/problem-flash-why-doesnt-flash-run-italy-pasta-eve-3204 Why Doesn’t Flash Run To Italy For Pasta Every Meal? ]]. |
| 263 | ** Sesame Street going too far, such as [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/did-sesame-street-go-too-far-yesterday-when-big-bi-1911 Did ‘Sesame Street’ Go Too Far Yesterday When Big Bird Ate An American Flag?]] |
| 264 | ** Creator/JKRowling revealing increasingly ridiculous things about ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' on Twitter, including [[https://news.clickhole.com/whoa-j-k-rowling-just-revealed-that-philip-seymour-ho-1825120747 Whoa! JK Rowling Just Revealed That Philip Seymour Hoffman Is Also Dead in the Harry Potter Universe]]. |
| 265 | ** Historically important items being put in display in the Smithsonian, usually (but not always) involving JFK dying, e.g. [[https://clickhole.com/a-piece-of-history-the-diving-board-that-jfk-died-on-a-1825120724/ A Piece Of History: The Diving Board That JFK Died On After Trying To Do A Back Dive Is For Sale]]. |
| 266 | ** In their videos, particularly the ''Learn Attack'' series, random facts about God will be mentioned, each of them making him out to be what might be described as a kind of chaotic goblin. For instance, he crawls around inside a vast tunnel network connecting volcanoes and will pop his head out of them to determine his location. |
| 267 | * ScandalGate: 9/11 is called Towergate in [[https://clickhole.com/what-the-mainstream-media-won-t-tell-you-16-years-ago-1825122707/ What The Mainstream Media Won’t Tell You: 16 Years Ago, Radical Islamic Terrorists Crashed Airplanes Into The World Trade Center, Killing Thousands Of Hardworking Americans]]. |
| 268 | * ScreamsLikeALittleGirl: [[https://clickhole.com/holy-fucking-shit-fargas-the-foreign-exchange-student-1825120971/ Holy Fucking Shit: Fargas The Foreign-Exchange Student Just Cracked His Head Open In Gym Class And Is Shrieking Like A Motherfucker]] |
| 269 | * ScrewedByTheLawyers: In-Universe with [[https://clickhole.com/6-unforgettable-movie-characters-that-were-changed-last-1825123701/ 6 Unforgettable Movie Characters That Were Changed Last Minute From A Giant Moth That Infringed On Mothra’s Copyright]]. |
| 270 | * SeriousBusiness: Their article on the announcement of ''Series/FullerHouse'' is [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/cancel-your-sons-funeral-because-full-house-offici-2331 Cancel Your Son's Funeral Because 'Full House' Is Officially Coming Back!]] |
| 271 | * SexIsEvilAndIAmHorny: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/staying-pure-mike-pence-crushing-his-testicles-lin-5352#22 Staying Pure: Mike Pence is Crushing His Testicles With the Lincoln Bible After Being Aroused by the Feminine Contours of the Capitol Building]]. |
| 272 | * ShaggyDogStory: The ending of the [=ClickVenture=] "You’re A Grocery Store Delivery Boy. Can You Deliver A Pound Of Ground Beef To The Astronauts On The International Space Station?", in which, after traveling across the galaxy to deliver a pound of ground beef to the International Space Station so the astronauts could use it to kill a spider, the astronaut [[spoiler: drops it on the ground and misses the spider.]] |
| 273 | * ShallowNewsSiteSatire: This website specifically parodies clickbait sites like Buzzfeed and Upworthy by posting fake {{Clickbait Gag}}s satirizing a broad range of topics. |
| 274 | * ShamelessSelfPromoter: [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/if-people-think-theres-quick-fix-illegal-immigrati-4600 If People Think There’s A Quick Fix To Illegal Immigration They’re As Misguided As The Scientists In My Screenplay ‘Chronotaur: Labyrinth Of Time’]] |
| 275 | ** Again in [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/abstinence-only-education-doomed-fail-robo-chronot-5246 Abstinence-Only Education Is As Doomed To Fail As The Robo-Chronotaur Built To Fight The Chronotaur In My Screenplay ‘Chronotaur: Labyrinth Of Time’]] |
| 276 | * ShootTheDog: [[https://www.clickhole.com/bold-new-strategy-febreze-has-released-a-new-line-of-g-1828867640 Bold New Strategy: Febreze Has Released a New Line of Guns To Shoot Your Dog With If It Starts to Smell]] |
| 277 | * SkewedPriorities: The lifeguard in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWXOtcj3q_w Powerful: These Veterans Recount The Heroics Of The One Lifeguard Who Was On Duty During D-Day]] makes all the soldiers get out of the water when he thinks he's spotted a shark, but lets them back in when he finds out it was just a German submarine. |
| 278 | * SlowLoadingInternetImage: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/these-koalas-are-refusing-load-support-net-neutral-967 These Koalas Are Refusing To Load In Support Of Net Neutrality]] |
| 279 | * SmugSnake: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/master-strategist-steve-bannon-has-completed-his-y-6521 A Master Strategist: Steve Bannon Has Completed His Yearlong Plan to Become Increasingly Irrelevant Before Eventually Getting Fired]]. |
| 280 | * SophisticatedAsHell: A screencap from [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/check-out-these-smoking-rihanna-nip-slips-335 Check Out These SMOKING Rihanna Nip Slips]]: |
| 281 | -->Whereas the Defendant, [=ClickHole=], a web entity specializing in content curating and the subsequent sharing thereof, known hereafter as "Defendant," wishes to curate and disperse photographs of nipples belonging to recording artist Rihanna and Def Jam Recordings, known collectively hereafter as "Plaintiff" and which were exposed to the public through the failure of requirements to perform their sanctioned duty to Obscure and Occlude said Nipples [...] such garment-based failures of occlusion shall be known hereafter as the "Nip Slips," [...] all images of both photographic, painted, or generated throughout in this and all other known Universes from here into perpetuity of the Nips such as they have become known as such failures of occlusion legally deemed to be Nip Slips, to be classified as such by and at the sole discretion of the Plaintiff or any appointed representatives (see Article VII, Section A: "The Selection Of A Nip Slip Identification Committee To Execute Formal Classifications Nip Slips As Proxy of Plaintiff"). |
| 282 | * SpeedSex: "[[https://clickhole.com/how-many-of-these-jay-z-songs-about-having-great-10-second-sex-have-you-heard/ How Many of These Jay-Z Songs About Having Great 10-Second Sex Have You Heard?]]". |
| 283 | * SpiritualAntithesis: {{Invoked}} with "[[https://www.clickhole.com/righting-wrongs-subway-s-new-spokesperson-is-a-man-who-1829838962 Righting Wrongs: Subway's New Spokesperson is a Man Who Gained 300 Pounds Eating Its Sandwiches And Also Has No Plans to Act on His Lust for Children]]". |
| 284 | * SpontaneousGeneration: According to the about page, staff members don't actually ''write'' any articles; instead, they are spontaneously created of their own will. |
| 285 | * SpotTheImposter: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/tense-standoff-trembling-amazon-security-guard-isn-7049 Tense Standoff: A Trembling Amazon Security Guard Isn’t Sure Whether To Shoot Jeff Bezos Or The Alexa Claiming To Be Jeff Bezos]] |
| 286 | * StableTimeLoop: In [[http://www.clickhole.com/theysaidwhat/find-out-what-buzz-aldrin-aretha-franklin-and-mark-6061 this edition]] of ''[[http://www.clickhole.com/features/they-said-what/ They Said What!?]]'', Aretha Franklin says she was inspired to be who she was when she saw Aretha Franklin on stage. |
| 287 | * StalkerWithoutACrush: The narrator of [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/gay-couple-and-their-children-are-adorable-perfect-780 This Gay Couple And Their Family Are Perfect, And Totally Unaware We've Been Following Them All Day]]. We don't really know for certain if there's [[StalkerWithACrush something more]], though. |
| 288 | * StatuesqueStunner: A 9'5" Creator/EmmaWatson in [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/just-when-you-didnt-think-emma-watson-could-get-an-2166 Just When You Didn't Think Emma Watson Could Get Any More Amazing, She Grows 4 Feet Taller]]. |
| 289 | * StomachOfHolding: [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/never-pay-office-supplies-again-easy-trick-552 Never Pay For Office Supplies Again With This Easy Trick]] assumes all of your co-workers have one. |
| 290 | * StrawNihilist: Mocked mercilessly in "[[http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-nihilistic-quotes-only-brilliant-misunderstood-y-1324 7 Nihilistic Quotes Only Brilliant, Misunderstood Young Males on the Internet Will Appreciate.]] |
| 291 | * SuddenNameChange: Their slideshow articles were originally called "[[http://www.clickhole.com/features/click5/ Click5]]". Now they're just [[http://www.clickhole.com/features/slideshow/ generically called slideshows]]. |
| 292 | * SurrealHumor: Commonly shows up. Initially it was mostly found in the quizzes, like [[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-big-jazz-boy-or-little-jazz-boy-1081 Are You a Big Jazz Boy or a Little Jazz Boy]] and [[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-new-york-are-you-1303 How New York are You]], but it has since migrated to [=ClickVentures=] like [[http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/house-sit-your-neighbors-while-theyre-vacation-3630 House-Sit For Your Neighbors While They’re On Vacation!]] and [[http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/you-are-cannibal-lobster-man-new-england-can-you-b-4474 You Are The Cannibal Lobster-Man Of New England. Can You Become The Governor Of Maine?]] |
| 293 | * TakeThat: |
| 294 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/finally-social-media-site-no-ads-pictures-words-co-1170 Finally! A Social Media Site With No Ads, Pictures, Words, Colors, Or Content]], an unsubtle riff on ello.co. |
| 295 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/heres-fucking-anime-quiz-754 Here's A Fucking Anime Quiz]] is written as if it's pandering to anime fans against its will. |
| 296 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-dont-let-my-kids-watch-winnie-pooh-because-i-don-2842 I Don’t Let My Kids Watch Winnie The Pooh Because I Don’t Want Them Idolizing A Fat Virgin]] |
| 297 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/stunning-map-shows-just-how-much-iraq-and-syria-vi-924 Stunning Map Shows Just How Much Of Iraq And Syria VICE Now Controls]] |
| 298 | * TemporalParadox: According to the "Witnessing History" series, George Foreman got the idea for the George Foreman grill after Muhammad Ali smacked him across the head with one. |
| 299 | * TheTetrisEffect: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/mind-blowing-teen-has-incredible-ability-perceive--751 Mind-Blowing: This Teen Has An Incredible Ability To Perceive Everything He Sees As A ‘Tony Hawk’ Level]] |
| 300 | * ThisLoserIsYou: The picture used to represent the viewer in quiz results is an overweight man with greasy hair and unflattering clothes. |
| 301 | * ThrowingTheFight: [[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/take-dive-if-you-throw-rocket-power-quiz-we-both-s-6214 Take A Dive: If You Throw This ‘Rocket Power’ Quiz, We Both Stand To Make A Lot Of Money]] |
| 302 | * ToServeMan: [[https://lifestyle.clickhole.com/heartbreaking-the-jim-henson-company-has-revealed-that-1841207604 Heartbreaking: The Jim Henson Company Has Revealed That Jim Henson Was Only Dead For 10 Minutes Before Kermit The Frog Started Eating Him]] |
| 303 | * TrainTopBattle: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/commitment-justice-jeff-sessions-currently-chasing-5962 A Commitment To Justice: Jeff Sessions Is Currently Chasing A High School Senior Who Got High At Prom Across The Roof Of A Siberian Train]] |
| 304 | * UndignifiedDeath: [[https://clickhole.com/grim-prognosis-researchers-have-determined-that-pengui-1831883047/ Grim Prognosis: Researchers Have Determined That Penguins Will Look Incredibly Stupid When They’re Dying From Global Warming]] |
| 305 | * UninhibitedMusclePower: [[https://clickhole.com/7-things-i-lifted-with-my-adrenaline-rush-instead-of-th-1825120800/ A parent gains access to this strength after seeing their son trapped under a car, but then proceeds to use the strength to lift seven other things]]. |
| 306 | * {{Uninstallment}}: |
| 307 | ** The "Next Week on [=ClickHole=]" series has previews for articles that won't exist. In addition, [[http://www.clickhole.com/slideshow/everything-must-go-end-summer-content-blowout-1027 EVERYTHING MUST GO: End-Of-Summer Content Blowout]] features nonexistent articles about Summer, [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-would-make-following-corrections-our-13-hedgeho-1279 this article]] discusses a few errors of their "13 Hedgehogs Who Need A Vacation" article published the previous week (which in reality doesn't exist), and [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/memoriam-remembering-all-content-didnt-go-viral-ye-1583 this one]] pays its final respects to nonexistant articles. |
| 308 | ** Some articles mention the comments section. for example, [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/ability-play-bowser-has-made-our-society-more-evil-1644 The Ability To Play As Bowser Has Made Our Society More Evil]] invites the reader to discuss [[NewMediaAreEvil the impact of Bowser Culture on their lives]]. Fortunately, there is no comments section on [=ClickHole=]. (But there are comments sections on [=ClickHole=]'s Facebook page, as well as their [=YouTube=] channel.) |
| 309 | * UnluckyChildhoodFriend: [[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/time-after-time-i-refuse-you-and-still-you-come-ba-1756 Time After Time I Refuse You, And Still You Come Back to This House, Grigory?]] |
| 310 | * UnusuallyUninterestingSight: In [[http://www.clickhole.com/video/37-dogs-guaranteed-brighten-your-day-1384 37 Dogs Guaranteed To Brighten Your Day]], #35 is a hand with a mouth droning the word "dog", its voice echoing. The narrator's reaction? |
| 311 | -->"Aw... that is not how you beg for a treat. No... bad." |
| 312 | * VaguenessIsComing: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-tragedies-weirdly-predicted-adam-sandler-783 5 Tragedies Weirdly Predicted By Adam Sandler]] |
| 313 | * VerySpecialEpisode: In [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/summary-gamergate-movement-we-will-immediately-cha-1241 this article]], ''[=ClickHole=]'' struggles to describe UsefulNotes/{{Gamergate}} in a very serious manner, unsure if its information on the movement is valid. |
| 314 | * ViewersAreMorons: [=ClickHole=] has a [[http://chimg.onionstatic.com/256/original/480.jpg helpful infographic]] in case you would like to visit the site, but don't know how to click. (Fortunately for the clicking-impaired, they are working on a version that can be navigated using only the [[PsychicPowers power of your mind]].) |
| 315 | * WikiVandal: Parodied in "[[http://www.clickhole.com/article/man-mission-man-adding-and-thems-facts-end-every-w-2182 Man On A Mission: This Man Is Adding 'And Them's The Facts' To The End Of Every Wikipedia Article]]". |
| 316 | ** [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/trolling-master-class-some-genius-prankster-upload-5681 Trolling Master Class: Some Genius Prankster Uploaded A Photo Of Helicobacter Pylori Bacteria To The Wikipedia Page For Burkholderia Cenocepacia]] |
| 317 | * WildTeenParty: "[[http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/your-parents-are-going-out-town-host-party-year-3029 Your Parents Are Going Out Of Town. Host The Party Of The Year!]]". |
| 318 | * WhoWantsToLiveForever: "[[http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-everyday-products-were-invented-accident-1773 7 Everyday Products That Were Invented By Accident.]]" Alexander Fleming accidentally discovered immortality and lived a luxurious life, until realizing it's a curse that causes him to outlive his [[MayflyDecemberFriendship friends]] and [[MayflyDecemberRomance lovers]]. This made him dilute it so it would only cure diseases, so as to not rob humanity of the gift of death. |
| 319 | ** Implied in [[https://news.clickhole.com/doctors-told-him-he-only-had-6-months-to-live-6-000-ye-1825121082/ Doctors Told Him He Only Had 6 Months To Live. 6,000 Years Later He’s Still Proving Them Wrong.]] |
| 320 | --->I can’t remember their faces. I can’t remember my true name anymore. So many loves have died. |
| 321 | * WordSaladHumor: [[http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/environmentally-friendly-quiz-made-100-recycled-qu-690 This Environmentally Friendly Quiz Is Made From 100% Recycled Quiz Materials!]] |
| 322 | * WorldOfChaos: The people from [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9Eck2Mv3UA People Open Up About How They Started Believing In God After Finding A Big Bag Of Laundry In A Barn]] and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic_iClOg34A Harrowing: Listen To These People Talk About The First Time They Ran Out Of Radishes]] seem to live here. One of them apparently has an angel living in his garage and kissing his wife. Another had her eyes moved closer together as punishment for not having any radishes to offer to a skeleton. Yet another threw the "Trigonometry Baby" into the ocean because "Nobody cares about triangles! They're not even round, and they don't taste like anything!" |
| 323 | * VirginPower: "[[http://www.clickhole.com/article/maintaining-my-virginity-has-given-me-incredible-p-5846 ‘Maintaining My Virginity Has Given Me Incredible Powers’: 5 Questions With Steven Spielberg]]". |
| 324 | * VirginSacrifice: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-types-virgins-are-so-obnoxious-you-honestly-feel-6113 7 Types Of Virgins That Are So Obnoxious You Honestly Feel Like Kind Of A Dick Sacrificing Them To Gator God]] |
| 325 | * YearInsideHourOutside: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/cracking-down-nhl-has-unveiled-new-hyperbolic-pena-7301 Cracking Down: The NHL Has Unveiled A New Hyperbolic Penalty Box That Makes 3 Minutes Inside It Feel Like 500 Years]] |
| 326 | * YouBastard: [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-adorable-pictures-pugs-are-exclusively-iraqi-pr-322 10 Adorable Pictures Of Pugs That Are Exclusively For Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki Because He's Probably Super Stressed Out Right Now And He Needs Them]] |
| 327 | -->Okay, so this list is exclusively for Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki because he's probably super stressed right now and needs to relax. If you are not the Prime Minister, we ask that you stop reading now.\ |
| 328 | ''[...]''\ |
| 329 | Are you still here? Jesus Christ, what are you still doing here? Okay, fine. Prime Minister, if you want a PDF of this slideshow you can enjoy without these other assholes ruining it, email us and we'll send it to you as an attachment immediately. We deeply apologize. |
| 330 | * YouCannotGraspTheTrueForm: Parodied in [[http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-tree-nuts-ranked-using-system-you-could-never-ev-57917 Tree Nuts, Ranked Using A System You Could Never Even Begin To Understand]] |
| 331 | * YourMom: [[http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-put-fat-suit-understand-what-its-be-your-mom-2061 I Put On A Fat Suit To Understand What It’s Like To Be Your Mom]] |
| 332 | ---- |
| 333 | And them's the tropes! |
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