Line #66 Webcomic/CinemaSnobReviewsFrozen


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/tv_tropes_pic_5276.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:Yeah, it's not as though you were asked to review one of the DirectToVideo Disney sequels.]]
3
4	->''"Here it is, the song that gave everyone in the audience larynx envy. I still hear Lloyd belting it around the house sometimes."''
5	-->-- '''The Cinema Snob''', commenting on "Let It Go"
6
7	WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob is told there is an exploitation film called ''Elsa, Snow Queen of Arendelle'', and instantly knows it's really ''{{WesternAnimation/Frozen\|2013}}''. Being well past his cutoff date would make it ineligible for review, but since he would get to watch a good movie, he goes ahead anyway in his typical style (which means this comic is NotSafeForWork).
8
9	This fancomic uses screencaps similar to {{Campaign Comic}}s (such as ''Webcomic/KnightsOfBuenaVista'', which is by the same author).
10
11	The comic was posted in 28 pages, in three parts. Sadly, the site that housed them has been taken down, and the comic is much harder to find.
12
13	Luckily the comic has been uploaded in full to Website/KnowYourMeme: [[https://knowyourmeme.com/search?context=images&q=The+Cinema+Snob+%22reviews%22+Frozen See here.]]
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15	It can also be found partially archived [[https://web.archive.org/web/20180814141636/http://elsaletyoufinish.tumblr.com/post/92132144873/cinema-snob-frozen-01 here]].
16	----
17	!!Tropes:
18	* EightiesHair: Snob assumes Anna plays bass for a hair metal band.
19	* AdaptationOriginConnection: Discussed when Snob noted this film didn't give a reason for Elsa's powers, which missed an opportunity for a shared origin with the villain... and a chance to [[TheyChangedItNowItSucks hear fans bitch about how the shared origin isn't in the source material]].
20	* AnimationAgeGhetto: Spoofed InUniverse. When Anna and Kristoff appear at the end of "In Summer", Snob applies FauxSymbolism to the scene, because it's how he can feel better about watching a film for children.
21	* AssPull: Discussed InUniverse with Elsa's varied and seeming limitless powers.
22	-->'''Elsa:''' I never knew what I was capable of.\
23	'''Snob:''' Yeah, neither did the script.
24	* AvertedTrope: Snob remarks that he's surprised Hans doesn't give a one-liner before slaying Elsa, and that that's a missed opportunity for one.
25	* BaitAndSwitchComparison: After the "I'm gonna tell him." "Don't you dare!" exchange, Snob notes this was exactly what happened with him and Jillian for a ''WebVideo/BradTries'' video where Brad was going to eat bugs... except it was Jillian who was going to tell Brad, and Snob who told her not to.
26	* BlatantLies: Snob pretends he always knew this movie was going to be good.
27	* ButchLesbian: Snob references this stereotype when, after noting that some pastors said Elsa was immoral because she was gay, Snob claims that "if Elsa was lesbian, she'd have a butch haircut and wear sensible shoes". Then in the next panel he told those pastors to fuck off.
28	* CallBack: Snob wonders if he should do another 3D episode (after his review of ''Film/FridayThe13thPartIII''), but seeing the saw slamming through the ice made the prospect too dangerous.
29	* TheCameo: [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen]] appears at the end of the review to discuss the animation style of ''Animation/{{The Snow Queen\|1957}}'', but Snob just snaps at him that the review is over.
30	* DamnedByFaintPraise: Despite ''Dogs'' being a bad movie, Snob still thinks it's a step up from a zombie confederate movie.
31	* DoubleEntendre: With Anna first saying "Do you wanna build a snowman?" in that tone of voice, and Elsa giving such a smirk in response, Snob notes that the question [[SubvertedTrope ends up being literal instead of this trope]], since they're children.
32	* EverythingsBetterWithSparkles: Wonders if Jesus resurrecting Lazarus would have had as many sparkles as when Anna's curse wears off.
33	* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: It's about this particular internet reviewer discussing this particular movie.
34	* FetchQuest: Snob assumes the heroes will need to do one to find an artifact which will let Elsa control her powers.
35	* FridgeBrilliance: InUniverse. After noting that Elsa's palace had different colors on the ice, Snob assumes Elsa could just make ice-based food like ice cream and slushies. "That would certainly answer what she'd eat here."
36	* FridgeLogic: InUniverse, Snob wonders why the "love experts" couldn't have told Elsa that love was how she controlled her powers.
37	* GarnishingTheStory: Snob notes that Pierre Kirby (of the Film/GodfreyHoNinjaMovies) can make any fight scene better.
38	* GRatedSex: Snob says the "crazy trust exercise" is third base by Disney standards (and he's pretty sure Kristoff copped a feel).
39	* HilariousInHindsight: InUniverse spoof where we see Jake in ''WebVideo/MidnightScreenings'' talking about how stupid this film looked from the trailers, even though he ended up gushing about it when he saw the finished product.
40	* HoYay: Discussed InUniverse with Snob noting how "Playing With The Boys" by Music/KennyLoggins is by itself just a song about relaxing and having fun, while people just decided it meant something else. Of course Snob put a clip of the song in such a place that would bring this up, namely when young Anna and Elsa are playing.
41	* IfIWantedXIWouldY: Fitting his MadLibsCatchPhrase, he talks about Hans and then says "I'll stick with real bland pretty boys, like ''Gayracula'', thank you very much."
42	* MaleGaze: When talking about the fake name given, Snob says he wouldn't have been fooled that it would be a sequel to ''Film/IlsaSheWolfOfTheSS'' or even its knockoff. Then when he wonders if ''Frozen'' had anything in common with those films, there is a closeup of Elsa's ample bosom.
43	* MenDontCry: After the end of "Do You Want To Build A Snowman", the review cuts to Brad and Jake doing their [[TestosteronePoisoning "bro" characters]] calling the movie "gay" while wiping the tears from their eyes.
44	* NameMcAdjective: Calls Hans "Hunk [=McGeneric=]".
45	* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: After noting an out-of-universe explanation for actions in ''Film/ManOfSteel'', Snob says "You think I'm joking?" Then there is a screencap and a URL to an article where the film's director outright gives that explanation.
46	* ObligatoryJoke: Compares the "Weaseltown - Weselton" confusion with the "Adelle Dezeem" gaffe, and then is glad he got that joke out of the way.
47	* OhCrap: Snob thinks the film is going into TooSmartForStrangers territory, but when the film was just using it for a quick gag, he is ''very'' grateful.
48	* OpinionMyopia: Spoofed InUniverse, like the Snob videos proper.
49	** Thinks no one really watched ''Film/{{Enchanted}}'', so it's okay to claim ''Frozen'' was [[OlderThanTheyThink the first Disney film]] to call out the FourthDateMarriage.
50	** Doesn't like the film using {{Slapstick}} humor, because the film's jokes should be "exactly like a seventies Creator/WoodyAllen film".
51	** He doesn't care about a ChaseScene if it's not like ''Film/{{Bullitt}}'' or ''Film/TheFrenchConnection''.
52	** Snob takes Olaf's description of what love is, and turns it around to him justifying his hate for certain films and wanting people not to see them.
53	* OrSoIHeard:
54	** While Anna claims she won't judge Kristoff crying over Elsa's ice castle, Snob insists she'll instead mock Kristoff later on her Facebook page... not that such a thing ever happened to Snob himself.
55	** Wonders if "My own, personal flurry!" would get a reaction when ordering a [=McFlurry=] with that line... not that he ever went to UsefulNotes/McDonalds, of course.
56	* {{Padding}}: [[invoked]]Spoofed when Olaf told the group where to find Elsa's castle, and Snob complained that would just move the plot along, and lose a perfectly good chance to inflate the running time.
57	* PraisingShowsYouDontWatch: InUniverse Snob says he's sure ''Animation/{{The Snow Queen\|1957}}'' (1957) is superior to ''Frozen'', despite not having seen it, simply because it is both classic and foreign.
58	* PressXToNotDie: He compares Kristoff dodging the frozen ship to a quicktime event.
59	-->'''Snob:''' Crap! [Sven] fell in the lake! [[ButtonMashing Mash X! Mash X!]]
60	* ReferenceOverdosed: As per usual for Snob reviews, there are dozens of references made here, easily more than one per strip on average.
61	* RequiredSecondaryPowers: Since Elsa finds "the cold never bothered me anyway", Snob is disappointed that this means her nipples wouldn't be hardened by her dress, even if it was made out of ice.
62	* RuleOfDrama: Surmises that Grandpabbie took Anna's memory just so the rest of the act would be more dramatic.
63	* RuleOfFunny: How else can [[CuteKitten Lloyd]] sing "Let It Go" around the house all the time?
64	* SarcasmMode: Snob saying that Grandpabbie "gives Elsa a warning, in a way that's perfectly reasonable to tell an already frightened eight-year-old."
65	* TheScrappy: [[invoked]]A ZigZaggedTrope. Snob actually is disappointed that Olaf isn't this trope. Everyone was going to have so much fun hating him. It gets to the point where Snob pretends Olaf said something offensive, just so Snob would feel better.
66	* SelfDeprecation: Snob notes that the Duke of Weselton looks similar to him and shows what Snob would be like with gray hair and a less deep voice.
67	-->'''Snob:''' Turns out I'd be an asshole!
68	* ShoutOut: There is a reference on nearly every strip. In order of mention:
69	** ''Film/AirplaneIITheSequel'': Elsa LettingHerHairDown is cut with Elaine doing a parody of the trope.
70	** ''WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs'': The opening scene shows us what the dwarfs do in the off-season.
71	** ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'': When mentioning Creator/IdinaMenzel's role in ''Theatre/{{Wicked}}'', Snob says she played an Orion slave girl.
72	** ''Film/SilentNightDeadlyNight'': Snob says Elsa's accident with Anna is still safer than sledding in the woods at night, and then we see a clip of the sled decapitation scene.
73	** ''Literature/TheHobbit'': The king's map actually leads to the Lonely Mountain.
74	** ''Film/{{Tron}}'': Snob compares the ice trail young Elsa leaves from the horse to the light cycles.
75	** ''WesternAnimation/ChallengeOfTheGoBots'': Snob initially thinks the trolls are the Rock Lords, and wonders if they're going to have another crossover with the Go Bots.
76	** ''Creator/{{Pixar}}'': Snob only likes it when animated films by this studio try to make him cry.
77	** ''Film/DemolitionMan'': Says that Dr. Cocteau will find a way to recreate Elsa's freezing on a controlled scale, before he founds San Angeles.
78	** ''WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall'': After Anna says her sister isn't a monster, Snob asks her to say "She is a MAN!" and punch Weselton in the gut.
79	** Creator/RankinBass: After Anna's skirt is frozen solid, Snob compares her movements to a character in their StopMotion specials. Snob later notes that we know Marshmallow will be okay because "bumbles bounce."
80	** ''Franchise/MortalKombat'': Snob assumes Kristoff wearing an outfit covered with snow means he is actually {{Cosplay}}ing as Sub-Zero... except the outfit is the wrong color.
81	** ''Film/Transformers2007'': Snob says he hopes Oaken isn't really gay, because a gay Scandinavian is "as offensive a stereotype as a black used car salesman!"
82	** ''Film/TheLegendOfBoggyCreek'': The "Travis Crabtree" song is played over "Reindeers Are Better than People".
83	** ''Film/GreystokeTheLegendOfTarzanLordOfTheApes'': Snob claims Creator/ChristopherLambert does a better Franchise/{{Tarzan}} impression than Anna.
84	** ''Film/{{Snowpiercer}}'': Kristoff's sled is a less effective prototype to that train.
85	** ''Series/TheNewlywedGame'': Compares Kristoff's questioning, of Anna about Hans, to this show.
86	** Creator/MegRyan: Says Anna's impression of the actress (or at least her notable roles) got tiring for "the audience members with penises".
87	** ''Film/ThePrincessBride'': When Anna shouts "It's ''TRUE LOVE''!", Snob says that Mrs. Miracle Max still doesn't like anyone denying that.
88	** ''Film/StageFright2014'': Snob compares "In Summer" to a teen wondering what it would be like to be killed in a slasher flick, which would make a great song in ''Stage Fright 2''.
89	** ''Music/{{Darkthrone}}'': He mentions the Norwegian BlackMetal group is in Arendelle castle, taking requests.
90	** ''Series/{{Newhart}}'': Compares Weselton and his lackeys to Larry, Darryl, and Darryl.
91	** ''Franchise/MegaMan'': Says the area with all the icicles would make a really hellish level for those games.
92	** ''{{Film/Frozen 2010}}'' (the thriller film): Snob says that this film is why Anna and Kristoff didn't take the ski lift up the mountain.
93	** ''Film/DieAnotherDay'': Assumes there is an indoor racetrack in Elsa's ice castle, where the chase scene in that film is happening.
94	** ''Film/SupermanTheMovie'': Says Elsa's ice castle's decor was like the elegant Krypton architecture before "the crystal look became all the rage". Later on, Snob says he wouldn't be surprised if Elsa flew around the Earth until it spun backwards.
95	** ''Film/{{Heartbeeps}}'': When Anna compliments Elsa's new look, Snob says Anna would say that even if Elsa looked ridiculous, like the female lead's getup in ''Heartbeeps''.
96	** Music/JohnnyCash: After Elsa says this place is where she won't hurt anyone, Snob plays Cash's cover of "Hurt", but then he explicitly says it's [[SincerityMode not]] a TakeThat. He feels that Elsa and Cash can make the "angst sound fucking genuine".
97	** ''Film/JackFrost1997'': Notes Elsa didn't need to drown a serial killer in toxic chemicals to make a scary snowman.
98	** Creator/BradJones' Vlogs: Compares the snow slide down the mountain to a water slide Brad and his friends call the "ass bleeder".
99	** ''Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail'': Marshmallow is an easier obstacle than a taunting Frenchman.
100	** ''Film/FiftyShadesOfGrey'': When Elsa gets chained up, Snob mistakes it for a scene from this movie.
101	** ''Film/NationalLampoonsChristmasVacation'': Olaf is snow surfing thanks to the new and improved kitchen lubricant.
102	** Snob's review of ''Film/SleepawayCamp'': When Hans says his infamous WhamLine, Snob says "Why yes, everyone. That's a dick."
103	** ''Series/GameOfThrones'': Compares Hans' actions to this series.
104	** ''Film/ChildsPlay'': Snob takes "I'm your friend 'till the end" and turns it into something outright heartwarming, by using that line to describe Olaf's selfless actions with Anna.
105	** ''Film/TheDevilWithHitler'': After Snob realizes that Hans' actions would mean Elsa would feel the pain of thinking she killed Anna ''twice'', Snob says Hans should be in line to take over Satan's job.
106	** ''Music/HueyLewisAndTheNews'': "Hans got bitch slapped by ThePowerOfLove. It is tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel, after all."
107	** ''Film/{{Constantine}}'': When Anna's curse starts to wear off, there is a clip of the devil saying "Sacrifice".
108	** ''Music/{{Enigma}}'': Compares the chanting in ''Frozen'' to the chanting in "Return to Innocence".
109	** ''Franchise/{{Batman}}'': When Elsa shoots a gigantic snowflake crystal into the sky for everyone to see, Snob calls it her version of the Bat Signal.
110	** He interrupts a "Falcon PUNCH!" reference from ''VideoGame/SuperSmashBros'' because he had an even better reference. Cue the Pierre Kirby clip.
111	* SincerityMode: After Snob makes a couple jokes mocking those complaining about Elsa supposedly pushing the "gay agenda", Brad takes off his glasses.
112	-->'''Brad:''' But seriously. FUCK. YOU.
113	* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: Snob says he doesn't identify with Elsa's "Don't let them in, don't let them see" line at all. DescriptionCut to a Blu-Ray of ''Film/WeekendAtBernies''.
114	-->'''Snob:''' Don't let them see. Don't let them see. They must never know.
115	* TakeThat: Several times Snob notes that this movie keeps reminding him of bad movies, but makes him even more glad he's watching this one. As for more specific examples:
116	** ''Film/Saw3D'': The movie just started a few seconds ago, but Snob thinks it's already better than this movie.
117	** ''Film/TheSmurfs'': Since the trolls don't say "Troll" every other sentence, their scenes are better than the ''Smurf'' films.
118	** ''Film/AfterEarth'': Agrees with the warning that "Fear will be your enemy", since Snob knows what it did to the leads in that film.
119	** ''Film/ManOfSteel'': Several are made, from stating the peasants shouldn't react to Elsa's powers but should stand around looking bored (cut to a shot of the extras in the finale of ''Man of Steel''), to claiming that ''Frozen'' is a better ''Franchise/{{Superman}}'' movie than ''Man of Steel''... and that even ''Film/SaloOrThe120DaysOfSodom'' is a better Superman movie [[note]]([[http://channelawesome.com/forums/threads/ask-the-cinema-snob.13960/page-126#post-927208 that last one came from Brad himself]])[[/note]].
120	** ''Film/TheDayAfterTomorrow'': Snob claims ''Frozen'' is more plausible, even though it's a fantasy movie. Later, he takes a stab at how ''Frozen''[='s=] climax is done better despite the similarities.
121	** ''Film/TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen'': Two are made. One to Skids and Mudflap, and one to the action in the movie.
122	** ''WesternAnimation/Epic2013'': Showing the slug as "our next annoying character punching bag". Snob isn't sure if he's grateful that answered his request.
123	** [[NeverTrustATrailer The trailers]] for ''Frozen'': When Elsa looks at her hands, Snob says they can do anything, "even turn a shitty trailer with a reindeer and a snowman into Disney's best animated film in decades!"
124	** ''Film/ToCatchAYeti'': Elsa's panic, when learning about the EndlessWinter she caused, mirrors how Snob felt when halfway through that film.
125	** ''Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull'': As long as Anna and Kristoff didn't survive the fall by hiding in a fridge, Snob is okay with it.
126	** Critical double standards: What looks like a jab at ''Film/TransformersAgeOfExtinction'' is more a jab at how a similar scene or arc is praised for some films but bashed in others.
127	** Elsa says, "Oh, what a nightmare, I dreamed ''Film/ThatsMyBoy'' made more money than ''Film/{{Titanic\|1997}}''."
128	* TemptingFate: After Weselton demands to see the queen at the end, Snob reminds Weselton that he ordered Elsa's assassination. So he should go right ahead! He might get war declared if he's lucky!
129	* WetTShirtContest: Well, a skirt in this case. After Anna falls in a river and her dress is soaked below the waist, Snob notes she could have entered a wet petticoat contest.
130	* YouWatchTooMuchX: In Snob's case, it's porn, which manifests in quite a number of ways in this review.
131	** Snob comes ''this close'' to censoring the shot of Elsa giving away her powers, since it's a shot of ice spraying from her hand.
132	** He thinks Anna is going to stick the carrot on an inappropriate place on Olaf. After Snob's relieved Anna just used it to make a nose, he then reminds himself that "this is a Disney film. They aren't gonna start fucking."
133	** Snob finds some of Olaf's lines would be even funnier in a porno.
134	** He outright says he might watch too much porn when he notes that Elsa in her slinky dress is sexier than a lot of the naked women he's seen (as he's noted in his actual videos, he gets to see that every week).

Context Webcomic / CinemaSnobReviewsFrozen