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1[[quoteright:300:[[Website/{{Uncyclopedia}} https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/nazi_pigeon.png]]]]
2[[caption-width-right:300:Disclaimer - only 10% of the pigeons in stock do not serve ThoseWackyNazis.]]
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4Have you ever wished to know how things were before the internet? Even before there were telephones? Letters were delivered by messenger pigeons, but as we all know they are prone to be eaten, die or take years to reach your friend's homes.
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6Well, thats no more! Our genetic engineering branch of TropeCo/TropeCo® brought us our most recent product, InstantMessengerPigeon!
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8These birds have a more complex brain than modern pigeons, and for your convenience they contain "biological USB" (think ''Film/{{Avatar}}'', but less stupid), allowing you to indicate the directions telepathically, saving a lot of time for both of you. The pigeon also contains highly toxic chemicals covering its feathers, killing instantly predators that attempt to consume it [=*=]; in addition, its primary purpose is to reach the destination of the message, not stopping except for feeding. It's advised to let the bird rest a couple of days after each journey.
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10Our pigeons also serve as good pets, superior to most domestic birds, though not compatible with other animals.
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