Line #29 Quotes/StronglyWordedLetter


1	->''And all those angry letter writers\
2	Like Disgusted from the Isle-of-Wight\
3	And Mad from Hull and Outraged from Leeds\
4	And Slightly Annoyed from Berwrick-on-Tweed\
5	Will instantly change their tune.''
6	-->-- '''Music/TimMinchin''', "Five Poofs and Two Pianos"
7
8	->''"Quick! To the Bat-fax!"''
9	-->-- '''Hobbes''', ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''
10
11	->''"Jew-and-a-Half had done what he could. He had written a letter."''
12	-->-- '''Creator/IsaacBabel, "How it was done in Odessa"'''
13
14	->'''Hans Blix:''' I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me see your whole palace, ''or else!''\
15	'''Kim Jong-il:''' Or erse ''what?''\
16	'''Hans Blix:''' Or else we will be very, ''very'' angry with you... And we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.
17	-->-- ''Film/TeamAmericaWorldPolice''
18
19	->''"You know, the Titanic is sinking, and they [the Good Place Committee] are busy writing a letter to the iceberg."''
20	-->-- '''Michael''', ''Series/TheGoodPlace''
21
22	->'''Sir Humphrey:''' How about a StronglyWordedLetter?\
23	'''Hacker:''' And get an even more strongly worded letter back? Copied to all the dailies? No thanks!
24	-->-- ''Series/YesMinister''
25
26	->''"My email to [[Music/DollyParton Miss Parton]] garnered no reply. I do not know why. I thought it was very courteous. Here it is in its entirety:\
27	“Hi Dolly-\
28	My name is RD Reynolds, and I run a website called {{Website/WrestleCrap}}.com. I usually love your work (I openly sob to Hard Candy Christmas at least 50 times every December), but I have to ask…what the heck were you thinking naming Wrestling/HulkHogan ‘Starlight Starbright’? That’s the stupidest name in the history of man. I mean, seriously, you really must have had your head up your anus to come up with that one. I’m so livid about this, that I think I’ll burn down Dollywood in an attempt to adequately express my anger.\
29	Your friend,\
30	RD Reynolds\
31	PS – I love your jugs.""''
32	-->-- [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/classic-induction-headlock-on-my-heart-in-this-ring-i-thee-wed/ "Headlock On My Heart"]]
33
34	->''"You might want to brace yourself, but [[Website/{{Twitter}} adding "#bpspill"]] ''doesn't do a goddamn thing and never will''. It turns out that unless you're manning an ICBM silo or are [[ComicBook/XMen Professor X]], changing the world probably requires you to at least stand up. Maybe more! Similarly ineffective is drawing WesternAnimation/{{The Little Mermaid\|1989}} covered in oil, though it [[RuleThirtyFour makes a welcome change from the other sticky substances the Internet usually covers her in]]."''\
35	"''It turns out that BP have actual money fountains (other than the one they just used to make the Gulf of Mexico [[UnusualEuphemism go second in chess]]), so we need a stronger approach than saying, "Gosh, that's awful," while being ecologically buggered with thousands of gallons of oil-lube. "Awareness" just means you're conscious while the buggering takes place. We need awareness and murderous revenge."''
36	-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}.com''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_18614_6-objective-reasons-us-army-should-invade-bp_p2.html on BP]]
37
38	->It's just... Look, I just have a hard time believing you when you say your house is on fire but you’re not doing anything about it.
39	->What do you mean "not ''doing'' anything"? I'm circulating petitions, registering voters. I've got a "Fire Kills" bumper sticker on my car. I just sent a check to the campaign of the new candidate for mayor...
40	-->-- '''Fred Clark''' mocking [[RuleAbidingRebel modestly]] "panical" political activism in [[http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2011/09/23/they-dont-really-believe-it/ "They don't really believe it"]].
41
42	-> "''Find me a quill, quickly! I believe I will write these men a sternly worded missive, packed with subtle barbs and tawdry insinuations. If that does not get their attention, I don't know what will."''
43	-->-- '''Theodorus''', ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedRevelations''
44
45	->''"You've kidnapped a member of my crew, and I must say -- in a somewhat emphatic tone -- that this is not terribly nice and I ask that you return her at your earliest possible convenience! ...If that's okay."''
46	-->-- '''Website/SFDebris''' summing up [[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration Captain Picard]]'s reaction to the Ligonians abducting Lt. Yar in "[[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS1E3CodeOfHonor Code of Honor]]"
47
48	->'''Dogenheimer:''' You're making me angry\
49	An angry comment is what I'm gonna write\
50	'''Parry:''' And I'll reply to your angry comment:\
51	"Hey, Dogenheimer, get a LIFE!"
52	-->-- '''Music/ParryGripp''', "Poobrador"
53
54	->''"Stop sending people to kill me! We've already captured five of them, one with a bomb and another with a rifle... If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send one to Moscow '''and I won't have to send another.'''"''
55	-->-- UsefulNotes/JosipBrozTito, to UsefulNotes/JosefStalin. Funnily enough, ''it worked''.
56
57	->''Zaporozhians to the Turkish Sultan!''\
58	\
59	''You Turkish Satan, brother and comrade of the damned devil and secretary to Lucifer himself! What the hell kind of knight are you, who can't slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? Satan shits, and your army eats. Never will you, son of the great whore, make subjects of Christian sons; your army we fear not, and by land and sea we'll do battle against you, so go fuck your mother!''\
60	\
61	''You Babylonian busboy, Macedonian mechanic, Jerusalem beer brewer, Alexandrian goat-skinner, swineherd of Upper and Lower Egypt, Armenian pig, Tatar goat, Kamenets hangman, Podolian thief, grandson of the Evil Serpent himself, and buffoon of all the world and beyond, fool of our God, swine's snout, mare's hind, butcher's dog, unbaptized brow, may the devil steam your ass!''\
62	\
63	''That's how the Cossacks answer you, you nasty glob of spit! Unworthy are you to lord over true Christians!''\
64	\
65	''The date we know not, for we have no calendar; the moon is in the sky, and the year is in a book, and the day is the same with us as with you, so go kiss our butt!''
66	-->-- Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of the Ottoman Empire
67
68	-> ''Now, when you had come, you spoke saying thus: 'I will give good ingots to Gimil-Sin'; this you said to me when you had come, but you have not done it. You have offered bad ingots to my messenger, saying 'If you will take it, take it; if you will not take it, go away.''' Who am I that you are treating me in this manner -- treating me with such contempt? ''and that between gentlemen such as we are. I have written to you to receive my money, but you have neglected [to return] it. Repeatedly you have made them [messengers] return to me empty-handed through foreign country. Who is there amongst the Dilmun traders who has acted against me in this way? You have treated my messenger with contempt. And further with regard to the silver that you have taken with you from my house you make this discussion. And on your behalf I gave 18 talents of copper to the palace, and Sumi-abum also gave 18 talents of copper, apart from the fact that we issued the sealed document to the temple of Samas. With regard to'' that ''copper, as you have treated me, you have held back my money in a foreign territory, although you are obligated to hand it over to me intact.'' You will learn that here in Ur I will not accept from you copper that is not good. In my house, I will choose and take the ingots one by one. Because you have treated me with contempt, I shall exercise against you my right of selecting the copper.''
69	-->-- Translation of the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complaint_tablet_to_Ea-nasir Complaint tablet to Ea-nasir]].
70
71
72	->'''Bob:''' I'm sorry about what happened to Scotty, Son. I don't blame you if you hate me.\
73	'''Milo:''' I don't hate ''you'', Dad, I hate the company you work for. We gotta break him out of that hellhole!\
74	'''Bob:''' Whoa, whoa, whoa, Son, we have to work within the system to get Scotty out. I'm going to go upstairs and start self-publishing a satirical cartoon strip lampooning this entire injustice. We'll start out small in the local penny-saver, build up to the Suburban weeklies--\
75	'''Pickles:''' [[DefiedTrope We're breaking Scotty out, Bob.]]\
76	'''Bob:''' ''(meekly)'' Yes, Dear.
77	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheOblongs'', "Narcoleptic Scotty"
78
79	->''Dear Sir,\
80	I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about the song you have just broadcast about the lumberjack who wears women's clothes. Many of my best friends are lumberjacks, and only a few of them are transvestites.\
81	Yours faithfully, Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.)\
82	P.S. I have never kissed the editor of the Radio Times.''
83	-->-- ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus''
84
85	->''Dear Mr. Malfoy,\
86	\
87	While I regret that my initial contact with your person must be on such unpleasant business, I am afraid that it falls upon myself to inform you of news that your son, Draco Malfoy, has been acting in such a manner as to bring upon himself and your house a most ill reputation through his discourteous actions and words. It would be a disservice to your family if you were left unaware of the events in question to correct these grievances and guide your child properly into a productive member of society.\
88	\
89	While his early discourtesy, mostly taking the form of repeated attempts to engage his Gryffindor classmates in a childish fracas, was the sort of minor boyhood nonsense which might be expected from a young man of high standing, whenever these attempts were rebuffed through gentle teasing, [[PaperTiger Young Malfoy has attempted to call upon your specter as protection, rather than stand upon his own merits in the face of a conflict he himself began.]] Indeed, his cries of ''"When my father hears of this"'' have become a rather predictable rejoinder that leaves Young Draco seemingly having few convictions and limited abilities of his own and a desire to ride the coattails of those who came before him.\
90	\
91	It is however his most recent insult given to a pair of orphaned individuals within his year that moves my hand. His precise wording was, ''[[SpeakIllOfTheDead "If your parents weren't good enough to live, then good riddance."]]\
92	\
93	''I believe that explaining precisely how such words would, in a more barbaric time, have resulted in an honor duel that would see your offspring left bereft of his life is unnecessary. This insult is made all the worse for the parents of one of the orphaned individuals died an honorable, soldier's death protecting their child [[TakingYouWithMe and taking their murderer with them into death's embrace.]] To disrespect the dead shows contempt for the dead. To show disrespect to those who died fighting is to show contempt for every service person who puts their life on the line every day to keep society going and civilians safe.\
94	\
95	I choose not to believe that this behavior is the result of your parental guidance as it is clear that Young Malfoy respects you as his father greatly. Instead it is likely that his first time out from under your guidance has left the child adrift in an unfamiliar location and his actions are the results of an uncertain boy exploring a new situation and erring.\
96	\
97	I am not one to offer advice on how one should rear their child and will instead leave you with the hope that such behaviors can be corrected for and that Young Draco Malfoy may yet grow to be a responsible member of society.\
98	\
99	Sincerely,\
100	\
101	[[Literature/TheSagaOfTanyaTheEvil Tanya Degurechaff]]''
102	-->--''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/33177481?view_full_work=true Tanya Degurechaff and The Philosophers' Stone]]'', '''Chapter 12'''

Context Quotes / StronglyWordedLetter