| 1 | %%Try and limit spoiler format for only what would be considered a spoiler for the events of that specific season you're quoting here. |
| 2 | |
| 3 | ->''SUBJECT: [=RvB=] [CIV] KNOWN ASSOC.: [[Creator/RoosterTeeth Burns B, Hullum M, Ramsey G,]]\ |
| 4 | [[Creator/RoosterTeeth Gustavo S, Saldana J,]] et al.\ |
| 5 | \ |
| 6 | This one and his cohorts have piqued my curiosity with their incessant\ |
| 7 | [[{{Machinima}} puppeteering]]. While we busy ourselves bending all of this technology in\ |
| 8 | service of the war, they twist and contort the public message of our\ |
| 9 | effort into [[ArmedFarces something else]].\ |
| 10 | \ |
| 11 | I'll admit, like the massive menagerie of men and women that now hang\ |
| 12 | on their every word, [[ActuallyPrettyFunny I've laughed at their antics on more than one\ |
| 13 | occasion.]] I find their incessant mockery and immaturity strangely\ |
| 14 | cathartic, even if I cannot help but question whether or not this\ |
| 15 | protracted war has wreaked irreversible harm and havoc upon these\ |
| 16 | poor souls' sanity. |
| 17 | -->-- [[Characters/HaloUNSCOfficeOfNavalIntelligence Doctor Catherine Halsey]]'s [[https://www.halopedia.org/Tribute_Room#Red_vs_Blue assessment of the show]], ''VideoGame/HaloReach'' |
| 18 | |
| 19 | |
| 20 | |
| 21 | Fair warning for {{Late Arrival Spoiler}}s in regards to Season 16 and all other seasons beyond this point! |
| 22 | ---- |
| 23 | |
| 24 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 25 | |
| 26 | [[folder:The Blood Gulch Chronicles]] |
| 27 | ->'''Simmons''': Hey.\ |
| 28 | '''Grif''': Yeah?\ |
| 29 | '''Simmons''': [[ArcWords You ever wonder why we're here?]]\ |
| 30 | '''Grif''': It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why ''are'' we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic beings, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.\ |
| 31 | ''({{Beat}})''\ |
| 32 | '''Simmons''': [[NotActuallyTheUltimateQuestion ...What?! I mean, why are we out here, in this canyon?]]\ |
| 33 | '''Grif''': (awkwardly) ''Oh.'' [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Uh... yeah.]]\ |
| 34 | '''Simmons''': What was all that stuff about God?\ |
| 35 | '''Grif''': (quickly) Uh...hm? Nothing!\ |
| 36 | '''Simmons''': You wanna talk about it?\ |
| 37 | '''Grif''': (sighs) No.\ |
| 38 | '''Simmons''': You sure?\ |
| 39 | '''Grif''': (annoyed) Yeah. |
| 40 | --> "Episode 1: Why Are We Here?", Season 1. Perhaps best known as the EstablishingSeriesMoment of ''Red vs. Blue''. |
| 41 | |
| 42 | ->'''Simmons''': Shotgun!\ |
| 43 | '''Grif''': Shotgun- fuck!\ |
| 44 | '''Donut''': Shotgun's ''lap!''\ |
| 45 | '''Simmons''': Fuck! |
| 46 | --> "Episode 57: The Storm", Season 3. |
| 47 | |
| 48 | ->So you want to join the {{Space Marine}}s, huh? Visit far off lands, fight the good fight? Big mistake, pal! Welcome to Blood Gulch! It's a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. There's a Red base in one side, and a Blue base on the other side. Both are filled with people that hate each other. Our battle for control seems like an endless one. Not because we're equally matched, but because we're equally incompetent. This is ''Red vs. Blue''! |
| 49 | -->--[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP11l6hm_X0 TV Intro]] for the El Rey Network broadcast |
| 50 | [[/folder]] |
| 51 | |
| 52 | [[folder: The Recollection]] |
| 53 | ->'''Wash:''' [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall How do you ever get anything done if all you ever do is argue with each other?!]]\ |
| 54 | '''Church:''' [[ArmedFarces We]] ''[[ArmedFarces don't!]]'' [[LampshadeHanging That's part of our charm! Quit fuckin' it up!]] |
| 55 | --> "Reconstruction: Chapter 4", Season 6. |
| 56 | |
| 57 | ->''(Wash, Church, and Caboose have just cornered both the Meta and South Dakota, with the former turning itself invisible)''\ |
| 58 | '''Wash:''' Damn! It's gone invisible! Keep an eye on your motion trackers, and watch your perimeters, look for a shimmer!\ |
| 59 | '''Church:''' It turned invisible?! What ''is'' this thing?!\ |
| 60 | '''Wash:''' It takes the equipment of other Freelancers, it must have picked up cloaking from Tex!\ |
| 61 | '''Church:''' [[ExplainExplainOhCrap ...Wait a second - ]]''[[ExplainExplainOhCrap Any]]'' [[ExplainExplainOhCrap equipment?]]\ |
| 62 | '''Wash:''' [[LockedOutOfTheLoop Yes! ...Why?]]\ |
| 63 | '''Church:''' [[OhCrap Shit,]] [[TimeMaster Wyoming!]] Cover me!\ |
| 64 | ''([[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass Church jumps over the wall and runs forward, grabbing a rocket launcher on the way and prepares to fire it at the Meta while hiding behind some cover]])''\ |
| 65 | '''Wash:''' [[OhCrap What? Wyoming?!]] Caboose, cover him! Grab those spike grenades!\ |
| 66 | '''Church:''' (panicky) [[TeamKiller No! Don't let]] ''[[TeamKiller Caboose]]'' [[TeamKiller help me!]]\ |
| 67 | ''(The Meta decloaks and starts firing at Church, who is still trying to look for a good shot)''\ |
| 68 | '''Wash:''' There it is!\ |
| 69 | '''Church:''' (exasperated) Hey! How 'bout a little help out here?!\ |
| 70 | '''Wash:''' On it! Caboose! Toss that grenade!\ |
| 71 | ''(Wash throws a frag grenade over the wall. [[EpicFail Caboose promptly throws his spike grenade right into the wall in front of both him and Wash]]. [[{{Beat}} Its fuse starts to burn down very slowly]] [[RuleOfFunny for no real reason]] as both Caboose and Wash stare at it in StunnedSilence)''\ |
| 72 | '''Wash:''' [[invoked]] [[MemeticMutation That was the worst throw...]] ''[[MemeticMutation ever]]''. [[CatchPhrase Of all time.]]\ |
| 73 | '''Caboose:''' [[NeverMyFault Not my fault.]] [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Someone put a wall in my way.]] |
| 74 | --> "Reconstruction: Chapter 6", Season 6. |
| 75 | |
| 76 | ->'''Washington''': [[spoiler:[[DoingInTheWizard Church... there's no such thing as ghosts.]] You're one of them. You're an AI. [[WhamLine You... are the Alpha]]]] |
| 77 | |
| 78 | ->'''Washington''': When the E.M.P. goes off--\ |
| 79 | '''Church''': When it goes off, [[spoiler: I'll be fine. It only affects computers, remember? [[BadassBoast And]] ''[[BadassBost I,]]'' [[BadassBoast am a motherfuckin' ghost.]]]] |
| 80 | |
| 81 | ->'''The Director''': Dear Chairman,\ |
| 82 | I am disappointed by your decision to press charges, but I am not surprised. My only hope is that the courts will see the matters differently than you have. You see, I never had the chance to serve in battle, nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself for humanity as it did for so many others in the Great War. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plagued me with the question; if the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? The memory of her has haunted me my entire life, and more so in these last few years than I could ever have imagined. But given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself. Had I only the chance.\ |
| 83 | I know that you disagreed with my methods and that others will as well. This is beyond my control. However, I cannot imagine that any court would be able to convict me, no matter how low their opinion of my actions might be. You must understand one basic fact for all this to make sense, my dear Chairman; these AI, they all come from somewhere; they are all based on a person. Our Alpha was no exception. And while the law has many penalties for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors that we inflict on ourselves. So you send your men. They won't find themselves a fight. They'll only find an old man. An old man tired, but satisfied he did his duty. An old man weary from a mind more filled with memory, than it is with hope.\ |
| 84 | Sincerely yours,\ |
| 85 | The ''former'' director of Project Freelancer, [[spoiler:[[WhamLine Dr. Leonard Church]]]]. |
| 86 | --> "Reconstruction: Chapter 19", Season 6. |
| 87 | |
| 88 | ->''(Tucker is searching for [=C.T.=] along the top of the desert temple in Sandtrap)''\ |
| 89 | '''Tucker:''' Where the hell did he go?\ |
| 90 | '''[=C.T.=]:''' ([[BehindTheBlack appears from behind Tucker, holding him at riflepoint]]) Freeze!\ |
| 91 | '''Tucker:''' Damn it!\ |
| 92 | '''[=C.T.=]:''' Tucker, I should've killed you the second I laid eyes on you! I would've been ''long gone'' [[SpannerInTheWorks if you hadn't interfered!]]\ |
| 93 | ''(Tucker backs up until he hits the very edge of the temple)''\ |
| 94 | '''Tucker:''' (sighs) [[KnowWhenToFoldEm Okay dude, I guess you got me.]] I've got nowhere to go. [[JustBetweenYouAndMe Just tell me one thing though]] - who ''are'' you really? And who sent you here?\ |
| 95 | '''[=C.T.=]:''' (smugly) Sorry. ''[[RiddleForTheAges You'll never know.]]''\ |
| 96 | ''(As [=C.T.=] prepares to shoot Tucker, [[spoiler:Epsilon-Church in his Monitor form]] [[BigDamnHeroes suddenly floats up into frame from behind Tucker]])''\ |
| 97 | '''[[spoiler:Epsilon-Church]]:''' [[CasualDangerDialogue Hey, what's up?]]\ |
| 98 | '''[=C.T.=]:''' What in the hell is that ''[[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman thing?!]]''\ |
| 99 | ''([[spoiler:Epsilon-Church]] [[TranquilFury stays still for a moment before]] [[RedEyesTakeWarning their "eye" starts to glow red]])''\ |
| 100 | '''[=C.T.=]:''' ([[ThisIsGonnaSuck suddenly realizes his impending doom]]) [[RunningGag Oh, son of a -]]\ |
| 101 | ''([[spoiler:Epsilon-Church]] promptly '''[[CurbStompBattle obliterates]]''' [=C.T.=] with a OneHitKill DeathRay coming from their "eye")''\ |
| 102 | '''[[spoiler:Epsilon-Church]]:''' ([[BerserkButton sounding utterly furious]]) ''I AM NOT A THING!!'' [[spoiler:MY NAME IS ''LEONARD CHURCH'', AND '''''[[BadassBoast YOU WILL FEAR MY]] [[BuffySpeak LASERFACE!!!]]''''']] |
| 103 | --> "Think You Know Someone", Season 7. |
| 104 | |
| 105 | ->''(Sarge, Tucker, Grif, and Caboose are talking to Epsilon-Church and are trying to convince him to [[DueToTheDead give a eulogy]] to [=C.T.'s=] deceased mercenaries)''\ |
| 106 | '''Sarge:''' Hey, your circular holiness! How 'bout delivering the eulogy? We're buryin' most of these guys 'cause of ''you'' anyway!\ |
| 107 | '''Epsilon-Church:''' Me? I only [[BuffySpeak lasered]] ''one'' guy.\ |
| 108 | '''Caboose:''' [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall Which was]] ''[[LeaningOnTheFourthWall awesome.]]''\ |
| 109 | '''Epsilon-Church:''' (excitedly) I know it was, right?!\ |
| 110 | '''Caboose:''' ''So cool.'' The laser ''came out of your face!''\ |
| 111 | '''Tucker:''' Have you been able to figure out how you did that yet?\ |
| 112 | '''Epsilon-Church:''' No, I think it's just because [[RageBreakingPoint I got really mad.]] Hey, say something to make me angry! See if it happens again!\ |
| 113 | '''Tucker:''' (quickly) You're ugly and nobody likes you.\ |
| 114 | '''Grif:''' (in a casual tone) You're annoying and your team sucks.\ |
| 115 | '''Caboose:''' [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking You're round and you can't wear pants.]]\ |
| 116 | '''Epsilon-Church:''' (apprehensively) [[VitriolicBestBuds ...You guys]] came up with all that ''really'' quickly.\ |
| 117 | '''Tucker:''' Eh, it pays to be prepared. Did it work? Are you pissed?\ |
| 118 | '''Epsilon-Church:''' (sadly) No, I think I'm actually kinda depressed now. Caboose is right. I ''can't'' wear pants.\ |
| 119 | '''Caboose:''' [[SkewedPriorities Well I only said it because everyone is thinking it!]] |
| 120 | --> "For Those Of You Just Joining Us", Season 8. |
| 121 | |
| 122 | ->''(Sarge has just finished talking to Simmons - who was being held at literal gunpoint by Wash at Valhalla - through the radio, with Simmons having seemingly not given any details to Sarge about him and Doc being taken prisoner by Wash and the Meta after Donut & Lopez were both killed)''\ |
| 123 | '''Grif:''' Simmons sounded good. I guess he's got everything under control!\ |
| 124 | '''Sarge:''' Donut and Lopez are dead and someone has taken Simmons prisoner.\ |
| 125 | '''Grif:''' ''What?!'' Everything sounded fine to me!\ |
| 126 | '''Sarge:''' Think about it! How do you answer the radio at our base?!\ |
| 127 | '''Grif:''' (in a bored monotone) "Thank you for calling Red Base, this is Private Grif, how may I assist you today?"\ |
| 128 | '''Sarge:''' And we've drilled that since day one! Simmons answered "Hi." That was my first clue!\ |
| 129 | '''Grif:''' So maybe he's just ups-\ |
| 130 | '''Sarge:''' He also said the radio was in disrepair. When has Lopez ever let something go without the proper maintenance?\ |
| 131 | '''Grif:''' ''[[OhCrap ...Never.]]''\ |
| 132 | '''Sarge:''' And look at the time!\ |
| 133 | '''Grif:''' Can't, clock's broken.\ |
| 134 | '''Sarge:''' It's 17:30! And everybody knows that 17:30 is...\ |
| 135 | '''Grif:''' [[TheDandy Donut's daily wine and cheese hour!]]\ |
| 136 | '''Sarge:''' [[SpotTheThread I didn't hear any chinkling glasses!]] Did ''you?''\ |
| 137 | '''Grif:''' You're right!\ |
| 138 | '''Sarge:''' [[BatDeduction He also mentioned that the weather was "rainier." And as we all know, Mt. Rainier is the biggest landmass in the state of...]] ''[[BatDeduction Washington!]]''\ |
| 139 | '''Grif:''' We do? [[SureLetsGoWithThat Uh, uh, I mean we do!]]\ |
| 140 | '''Sarge:''' How many Washingtons do we know?\ |
| 141 | '''Grif:''' Did he mean... ''Agent'' Washington?\ |
| 142 | '''Sarge:''' [[BatDeduction And who's the biggest mass we know, associated with Washington?]]\ |
| 143 | '''Grif:''' The Meta!\ |
| 144 | '''Sarge:''' So the Meta and Washington have teamed up to kill Donut and Lopez, and now they're holding Simmons and Doc prisoner!\ |
| 145 | '''Grif:''' (concerned) [[FriendshipMoment We have to help 'em!]] ...Wait, ''Doc?'' [[LampshadeHanging How, how do you know]] ''[[LampshadeHanging he's]]'' [[LampshadeHanging there?]]\ |
| 146 | '''Sarge:''' [[RiddleForTheAges Please, Grif,]] [[BlatantLies it's]] ''[[BlatantLies so]]'' [[BlatantLies obvious!]] [[PetTheDog I don't wanna insult your intelligence by explaining every little detail!]]\ |
| 147 | '''Grif:''' (confused) Oh, uh, okay then! |
| 148 | --> "Drink Your Ovaltine", Season 8. |
| 149 | |
| 150 | ->'''Sarge:''' Son. You can insult me, you can ambush me, you can even take away my weapons. But if you think I'm going to set one single pinky toe inside Blue Base without my "shotgun", you must not know who you're dealing with.\ |
| 151 | '''Wash:''' I said move.\ |
| 152 | '''Sarge:''' And I said "shotgun".\ |
| 153 | '''Wash:''' Yes...I have your shotgun.\ |
| 154 | '''Sarge:''' No, I mean, "shotgun".\ |
| 155 | '''Wash:''' What is this? You think I'm going to give you back your shotgun because you asked?\ |
| 156 | '''Sarge:''' I said "shotgun"!\ |
| 157 | ''(Sarge turns to the wall)''\ |
| 158 | '''Sarge:''' "Shotgun", damn it!\ |
| 159 | '''Grif:''' (Muffled) Oh, yeah! Shotgun. That's my cue.\ |
| 160 | '''Wash:''' What? Wait, what're you up to? What is that noise? Do I hear a...\ |
| 161 | ''(Suddenly the wall explodes into pieces as the Warthog bursts straight through it, with Grif behind the wheel. Sarge quickly gets out of the way as Wash is taken completely by surprise)''\ |
| 162 | '''Wash:''' '''... CAR?!?''' |
| 163 | --> "Upon Further Review", Season 8. |
| 164 | |
| 165 | ->''(Tucker - whose armor [[CallBack got colored black after going through the teleporter]] - is tackled by [[spoiler:Tex]] and she's trying to beat him up. Meanwhile, Simmons has a rocket launcher and he's trying to figure out which [=black-armored=] figure to shoot)''\ |
| 166 | '''Simmons:''' (terrified) [[SpotTheImposter They look the same! Which one do I shoot?!]]\ |
| 167 | '''Tucker:''' (from afar, furious) Ow! ''[[StatingTheSimpleSolution Shoot the one who's winning, dumbass!]]'' |
| 168 | --> "This One Goes To Eleven", Season 8. |
| 169 | |
| 170 | ->''(After a recovery beacon comes in for Church at the Freelancer Offsite Facility, Sarge [[CharacterDevelopment has just told Caboose that he's planning on going with him to help save Tex and Church.]] Sarge then tries to convince [[MisfitMobilizationMoment the rest of the Reds and Blues to help them take the fight to the Freelancers]])''\ |
| 171 | '''Grif''': Well, I'm not going, and you can't make me! You quit, remember? I don't take orders from you any more, and besides, this whole command structure thing was bullshit anyway. We all know ''that'' now!\ |
| 172 | '''Sarge''': [[WhamLine I'm not tellin' you to go. I'm not even askin'.]]\ |
| 173 | '''Grif:''' (surprised) ...You're not?\ |
| 174 | '''Sarge''': Nope. I'm goin'. That's it. You wanna come, come on. But I don't expect you to. Simmons will probably tell you that statistically, some of us will probably die.\ |
| 175 | '''Simmons:''' ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck All of us.]]''\ |
| 176 | '''Sarge:''' ''All of us'' will probably die. But that's not what's important. Let me ask you two a question... [[ArcWords You ever wonder why we're here]]?\ |
| 177 | '''Grif:''' (he and Simmons exchange an AsideGlance) Umm... [[CallBack it does seem to be one of life's great mysteries.]]\ |
| 178 | '''Sarge''': No, I mean ''you''! What are ''you'' doing here? [[LazyBum You always act like you wanna quit,]] but hell, you could've left whenever you wanted! No one would have stopped ya! So why are you here? And you, Simmons!\ |
| 179 | '''Simmons''': Me?\ |
| 180 | '''Sarge''': You say you wanna be in charge! They would have given you your own squad a dozen times over! You know it, and ''I'' know it. But you're still ''here''. And you, Tucker! As much as I hate to admit it, you're actually good at being a soldier!\ |
| 181 | '''Tucker:''' I am?\ |
| 182 | '''Sarge:''' I know you like to make yer' rude comments and pretend like it doesn't matter! But an entire alien race chose to make you their hero! So why are ''you'' here? And Caboose... Uh, it's good to see you?\ |
| 183 | '''Caboose:''' Thanks! I'm really enjoying the whole speech so far!\ |
| 184 | '''Sarge''': [[RousingSpeech Maybe you're all here because this is the only place you fit in. Maybe you're here because you don't have anywhere else to go. Maybe you're all here because, deep down, you want to be here. The reason doesn't matter. What matters is that you're here! For all we know, Tex and Church are dead.]] [[AsLongAsThereIsOneMan That means we're the only ones who know what's happened. The only ones who can prevent them from covering it up!]] So the way I figure it, [[WeHaveReserves these Freelancer guys will use us, take us away from our families, and send us all over the dad-gum galaxy just to test if their agents are ready for the big fight?]] [[LetsGetDangerous Well... guess I'm interested in showin' em exactly what a big fight is all about! Time to clean a slate!]] So, I'm not orderin' ya to go. I ain't even ''asking''.[[DareToBeBadass You do... what you gotta do, Private Grif.]]\ |
| 185 | ''([[{{Beat}} Long silence]])''\ |
| 186 | '''Grif''': (sighs) [[ChronicHeroSyndrome I'll go get my car keys.]] |
| 187 | --> "Rally Cap", Season 8. |
| 188 | |
| 189 | ->''([[LetsGetDangerous The Reds and Tucker]] are all charging [[TheJuggernaut the Meta]] on Sidewinder [[spoiler:[[HesBack after the latter got all of their equipment back online]]]])''\ |
| 190 | '''Sarge:''' Attack!\ |
| 191 | '''Simmons:''' Get 'im!\ |
| 192 | '''Grif:''' (terrified) ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck We're gonna fucking die!]]'' |
| 193 | |
| 194 | ->'''Sarge''': Hey, Grif! I've lost my shotgun! What am I going to do without my "shotgun"? ...[[CallBack "Shotgun", dammit!]]\ |
| 195 | '''Grif''': Shotgun?\ |
| 196 | ''(Grif finds out what Sarge means and [[spoiler:turns towards the Warthog]])''\ |
| 197 | '''Grif''': Come on, Simmons!\ |
| 198 | '''Sarge''': Augh... Ahh... Hey, Meta... Settle a bet, would you?\ |
| 199 | [[spoiler:''(Sarge attaches the Warthog's tow hook to the Meta's chestplate)'']]\ |
| 200 | '''Sarge''': [[spoiler:[[PreMortemOneLiner Does that thing]] [[ChekhovsGun kind of look]] [[ChekhovsGag like a big]] [[CallBack cat to you?]]]] |
| 201 | |
| 202 | ->[[spoiler:'''Church''': I'd like to say that I found her right away, that I just walked into the Epsilon Unit and there she was, waiting for me. As you can probably guess, it didn't happen that way, but... I know she's in here somewhere, and I'll find her. We always seem to find each other, for better or for worse. I don't know why the Director did what he did. I don't know if he was trying to revive a memory from his past, or if he was just trying to get it out of his head. But I figured out something that the Director didn't. It took Alpha, Delta, and the rest to help piece it together for me, but what I've learned is that a great love is a lot like a good memory. When it's there, and you know it's there, but it's just out of your reach, it can be all that you think about. You can focus on it, and try to force it, but the more you do, the more you seem to push it away. But if you're patient, and you hold still, then maybe... Just maybe... It will come to you. I just need to make sure I'm somewhere she can find me.\ |
| 203 | I think this place is a little different than it was before. See, out there, everything is based on the Alpha, but in here, I guess I'm the Alpha. And maybe this time through, things will be a little different for me as well. I guess I'll find out. And I mean, hell, if you have to live the rest of your life in a memory... you might as well make it a good one.]] |
| 204 | --> "n+1", Season 8. |
| 205 | [[/folder]] |
| 206 | |
| 207 | [[folder: The Project Freelancer Saga]] |
| 208 | ->'''Church:''' (to [[spoiler:Tex]]) No, I'm not gonna say I love you. ...[[WhamLine I'm gonna say]] [[spoiler:[[MercyKill I forget you.]]]] |
| 209 | --> "Hate to Say Goodbye", Season 9. |
| 210 | |
| 211 | ->''(Epsilon and Carolina have finally tracked down and confronted the Director)''\ |
| 212 | '''The Director:''' (quietly) Hello, Epsilon. You came ''all'' this way just to see me?\ |
| 213 | '''Epsilon:''' (furious) I'm here to remember what you've done! ''Somebody'' has to!\ |
| 214 | '''Carolina:''' (gently) Church...\ |
| 215 | '''Epsilon:''' (makes his holographic form resemble the Alpha's) Not all of us got off scot-free, Carolina!\ |
| 216 | '''Epsilon-Delta''': He was ''brilliant'' -\ |
| 217 | '''Epsilon-Theta''': - and we ''trusted'' him -\ |
| 218 | '''Epsilon-Gamma''': - but he ''lied'' to us, twisted and -\ |
| 219 | '''Epsilon-Omega''': - ''tortured'' us, and used us -\ |
| 220 | '''Epsilon-Sigma''': - manipulated us for his own evil purposes! And for what?! For ''this?!'' This... '''''shadow?!'''''\ |
| 221 | '''Epsilon-Church''': He needs... to '''pay.''' |
| 222 | --> "Don't Say It", Season 10. |
| 223 | [[/folder]] |
| 224 | |
| 225 | [[folder: The Chorus Trilogy]] |
| 226 | ->'''Tucker:''' ''(towards Wash)'' You are the worst thing to happen to this team since blue-boy over there decided to show up.\ |
| 227 | '''Caboose:''' I am a man! Blue man!\ |
| 228 | '''Simmons:''' You take that back. Wash is a great leader. I assume.\ |
| 229 | '''Sarge:''' Blasphemy!\ |
| 230 | '''Freckles:''' Deadly force authorized.\ |
| 231 | '''Tucker:''' Seriously, I would rather follow Caboose into battle than you.\ |
| 232 | '''Wash:''' (sarcastically) Oh, really? Then let's just make him the leader, see how much better off you are!\ |
| 233 | '''[[LiteralMinded Caboose:]]''' [[SarcasmBlind Well, I humbly accept your nomination and accept the position.]]\ |
| 234 | '''Wash and Tucker:''' Shut up!\ |
| 235 | '''Freckles:''' Do not talk back to your commanding officer.\ |
| 236 | '''Tucker:''' Wash and I are having an argument. I will be talking back to him. That's how arguments work, you fucking toaster!\ |
| 237 | ''(Camera shifts to Freckles' POV through his HUD's screen. The word "DEMOTED" appears over Washington as Freckles looks at him)''\ |
| 238 | '''Freckles:''' [[WhamLine Washington is not the commanding officer.]]\ |
| 239 | '''Tucker:''' What?\ |
| 240 | '''Washington:''' What?\ |
| 241 | '''Freckles:''' In a unanimous decision by the Blue Team, Caboose has been promoted to Blue leader. Captain Caboose is now your commanding officer. Do not talk back to your commanding officer.\ |
| 242 | '''Grif:''' [[OhCrap Oh, fuck.]]\ |
| 243 | '''Caboose:''' Well, yep. This is gonna be a lot of fun.\ |
| 244 | '''Washington:''' No, Caboose, you can't- Look, Freckles, this is a misunderstanding.\ |
| 245 | '''Simmons:''' Caboose is team leader? [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Fuhuck this.]]\ |
| 246 | '''Caboose:''' Ah, don't worry, Simmons. As my first duty as leader in the position of the nomination, I say you can be on Blue Team...forever!\ |
| 247 | '''Simmons:''' (walking away from the Blues) No thanks, I'm good.\ |
| 248 | '''Freckles:''' Private Simmons.\ |
| 249 | '''Simmons:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck (stops, then whimpers in fear) Oh no...]]\ |
| 250 | '''Freckles:''' Deserting your post will designate you as AWOL. This designation is punishable by death.\ |
| 251 | '''Simmons:''' ''[[BigWhat WHAT?!?]]''\ |
| 252 | '''Grif:''' Uh, hey Sarge? ''[[{{Understatement}} Now]]'' [[{{Understatement}} the Blues have kidnapped Simmons.]]\ |
| 253 | '''Sarge:''' ''[[BloodKnight THEN IT'S WAR!]]'' |
| 254 | --> "Long Live The King", Season 11. |
| 255 | |
| 256 | ->[[spoiler: '''Epsilon:''' [[CallBack Dear Chairman!]] It has come to our attention that you have declared '''war''' on the planet Chorus. We regret to inform you that this is a really ''shitty'' idea. Not only have you managed to annoy the people that you failed to kill, time and time again, you've also found a way to piss off an entire planet! Now, they may not have the best equipment and they might not be the best fighters, but as you're aware, they've been fighting for a very long time. And now that they're not fighting each other, [[EnemyMine they're more than happy to dedicate all of their time to fighting]] '''[[EnemyMine you.]]''' So dear Chairman, to you and your idiotic mercenaries, we would like to say: ''[[BringIt Bring it on, motherfuckers]]''. [[BadassBoast We're not going]] ''[[BadassBoast anywhere]]''. From your friends, the incredibly badass and sexually attractive Red and Blue soldiers of Project Freelancer. P.S.: Suck our balls.]] |
| 257 | --> "You Know Who We Are", Season 12. |
| 258 | |
| 259 | ->[[spoiler:'''Kimball''': [[BrutalHonesty I never believed this truce would last.]] I thought that if we managed to survive Charon it would only be a matter of time before we were back at each other's throats. I believed this because in my eyes the Federal Army of Chorus was still the enemy.\ |
| 260 | [[{{Dehumanization}} When you spend everyday fighting a war, you learn to demonize your attackers. To you, they're evil, they're- they're sub-human.]] Because if they weren't, then what would that make you? ...What I'm ''trying'' to say... is I've been afraid to see you for what you really are. You're our brothers. Our sisters. And the things we've done to one another are ''[[ThisIsUnforgivable unforgivable.]]'' But General Doyle was able to see past that. In the end, he understood that now isn't the time for pride or anger, now is the time for ''unity.''\ |
| 261 | Everyday I ask myself, [[ArcWords "What do you fight for?"]], and every day I answer, "For a better tomorrow." Well, if we can’t set aside our past and start trusting one another, there won’t ''be'' a tomorrow. So please, fight with me. Fight to see Malcolm Hargrove locked away for the rest of his life! Fight to wipe [[SmugSnake that stupid grin off of Felix’s face!]] Fight because you deserve to ''[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] WIN!''\ |
| 262 | '''Fed Gunner:''' ...Well, shit. I'll fight for that.]] |
| 263 | --> "All or Nothing", Season 13. |
| 264 | |
| 265 | ->[[spoiler:'''Felix:''' Locus, what are you doing?! You were supposed to kill them!\ |
| 266 | '''Locus:''' [[WhamLine ...No.]]\ |
| 267 | '''Felix:''' (shocked) [[BigWhat What?!]]\ |
| 268 | '''Locus:''' [[HeelFaceTurn No more killing.]]\ |
| 269 | '''Felix:''' What are you talking about? You're a soldier, remember?!\ |
| 270 | '''Locus:''' [[CallBack I'm not]] [[HeelRealization a soldier.]] [[IAmAMonster I'm a monster...]] [[YouMonster like]] ''[[TheSociopath you]]''.\ |
| 271 | '''Felix:''' (standing up) [[VillainousBreakdown Locus, we're...partners. Survivors. We need each other. Wh-what about our orders? Our reward?! Becoming the ultimate weapon!]]\ |
| 272 | '''Locus:''' [[ScrewTheMoneyIHaveRules I'm not doing this for the reward.]] [[ScrewTheRulesImDoingWhatsRight I'm not doing this because someone told me to.]] I'm doing this for ''[[MeaningfulEcho me]]''.\ |
| 273 | ''(Felix looks around terrified, and an aerial shot shows that Locus and the Reds & Blues are all positioned around him [[RuleOfSymbolism just like the soldiers that were positioned around Locus]] [[CallBack in his vision from "Locus of Control"]])'']] |
| 274 | --> "The End is Near", Season 13. |
| 275 | |
| 276 | ->[[spoiler:'''Sarge:''' Gentlemen, looks like this is it.\ |
| 277 | '''Simmons:''' Sir, it's been an honor.\ |
| 278 | '''Lopez:''' Si muero, asegúrense de que mis piezas sean recicladas. (If I die, make sure my parts are recycled.)\ |
| 279 | '''Donut:''' (tearful) I love you too, Lopez...\ |
| 280 | '''Doc:''' Aw, that's so sweet... ''(in O'Malley's voice)'' Now, let us strike fear into the hearts of our enemies, mwahahaha!\ |
| 281 | '''Grif:''' Smartest thing you've ever said.\ |
| 282 | '''Caboose:''' Yeah! Let's get 'em!\ |
| 283 | '''Epsilon:''' [[IUhYouToo Hey, uh, I just want you guys to know that...]] Out of everyone I've ever met, [[CallBack I hate you all the least.]]\ |
| 284 | '''Tucker:''' See you on the other side, Church.\ |
| 285 | ''(The Blood Gulch Crew ready themselves as the door is almost cut through, when suddenly, the sparks quit moving. The camera then pans over to Epsilon, who sighs and his sniper rifle dematerializes)''\ |
| 286 | '''Epsilon:''' [[WhamLine Not this time, buddy.]]]] |
| 287 | |
| 288 | |
| 289 | ->[[spoiler:'''Epsilon:''' [[DiscussedTrope There’s so many stories where]] some brave hero decides to [[HeroicSacrifice give their life to save the day.]] And because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. [[DeconstructedTrope But the hero… never gets to see that ending. They’ll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They’ll never know if the day was really saved.]] In the end… they just have to have faith. Ain't that a bitch?]] |
| 290 | --> "The End", Season 13. |
| 291 | [[/folder]] |
| 292 | |
| 293 | |
| 294 | [[folder: Season 14]] |
| 295 | ->'''Vic:''' Ladies and gentlemen, Reds and Blues, chicos and chicas, it's been fun, but as an old bald British dude once said: all good things must come to an end. Y'know, I keep thinking back to this whole multiverse thing. It there's ''really'' an infinite number of parallel universes, then that means there's probably an infinite number of stories out there that still need to be told. Maybe some of them are funny. Maybe some of them are sad. Maybe some of them start off ''looking'' funny, but then totally hit you with the bait-and-switch, and get you all sad. I dunno. After all, I'm just one of an infinite number of Vics, which is exactly why I'm here. Why I've been guiding you this entire time. To open a window. To open your ''eyes'' to the truth. As long as there's stories, there needs to be storytellers. And ''that'', is where ''you'' come in. Tell your story, dude or dudettes! It could be one in a billion others, but it'll be yours. Make it about the Reds. Make it about the Blues. Heck, make it about some other group of soldiers that no one ever heard about until ''you'' told them. Show us villains that tell themselves they're heroes. Build entire worlds brick by brick! Teach the galaxy about friendship! But whatever you do, ''don't. Stop.'' [[InDefenceOfStorytelling Because a universe without stories... well, that's just empty space, amigo.]] |
| 296 | --> "Red vs. Blue vs. Rooster Teeth", Season 14. |
| 297 | [[/folder]] |
| 298 | |
| 299 | [[folder: Season 15]] |
| 300 | ->''(Along with the rest of the Reds and Blues - minus Grif, who left the group in the previous episode - Simmons and Caboose are investigating an overgrown and dilapidated city while searching for clues to Church's possible return)''\ |
| 301 | '''Caboose:''' (curious) What ''was'' this place?\ |
| 302 | '''Simmons:''' (grimly) It was a human settlement before the alien war. ''Horrible'' massacre. ''[[LeaveNoSurvivors No survivors.]]''\ |
| 303 | '''Caboose:''' ([[DissonantSerenity cheerily]]) That must have made ''so'' many ghosts!\ |
| 304 | '''Simmons:''' (dismissively) Well, scientifically speaking, there's ''no'' such thing as ghosts.\ |
| 305 | '''Caboose:''' Then what—then what happens to you when you die?\ |
| 306 | '''Simmons:''' Well, we just don't know. [[CessationOfExistence Probably nothing.]] (sadly) [[CallBack Grif would probably say it's just one of life's great mysteries.]]\ |
| 307 | '''Caboose:''' (thoughtfully) You talk about Grif a lot.\ |
| 308 | '''Simmons:''' [[BadLiar Wh—shut up, no I don't!]]\ |
| 309 | '''Caboose:''' What you said makes no sense! If people don't turn into ghosts when they die, [[BackFromTheDead then how do they come back?]]\ |
| 310 | '''Simmons:''' (in a contemplative tone) Mmm...you ''don't.''\ |
| 311 | '''Caboose:''' Then maybe...no one cared about these people. So ''[=that's=]'' why they haven't come back.\ |
| 312 | '''Simmons:''' (awkwardly) I... don't think caring is part of it at all, Caboose.\ |
| 313 | '''Caboose:''' [[{{Manchild}} Well, Simmons, here's what I've learned. I care about Church, and he comes back, every time.]] [[WideEyedIdealist That's how it works, then!]]\ |
| 314 | '''Simmons:''' I don't know, Caboose. That's an interesting theory, but I wouldn't put too much weight on it. Most times when you die, you ''die.'' It doesn't matter how much someone likes you, or how little, or how not at all, (bitterly) [[SayingTooMuch you know, even after being friends for years and years...]]\ |
| 315 | '''Caboose:''' (gently) Are you thinking about Grif again?\ |
| 316 | '''Simmons:''' (defensively) [[BlatantLies No!]] I'm just thinking about how what you said is wrong... Scientifically speaking!\ |
| 317 | '''Caboose:''' [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Here's your science, Simmons]] - [[TrueCompanions Dead friend]] plus [[ThePowerOfLove love]] equals Church!\ |
| 318 | '''Simmons:''' (confused) I...''guess'' [[MetaphoricallyTrue that's...math?]] |
| 319 | --> "Nightmare on Planet Evil", Season 15. |
| 320 | |
| 321 | ->'''Tucker:''' Caboose! Pull him through!\ |
| 322 | '''Caboose:''' No, Tucker. I... I know what I need to do.\ |
| 323 | '''Alpha-Church:''' [[LockedOutOfTheLoop Seriously, what the fuck is happening right now? Is there something in the water?!]]\ |
| 324 | '''Caboose:''' Church...Church, there's a lot of things I never got to say...I know I won't get another chance, to say them, so: I think you're cool. Like, you're super awesome, amazing cool. I, I always felt like really awesome too, when we were...hanging out together. You know? I never really felt sad...when you died because-\ |
| 325 | '''Alpha-Church:''' What do you mean when I died?!\ |
| 326 | '''Caboose:''' Shh, shh, sh. I never felt sad when you died because I couldn't imagine a world without you. But I know it's real. I...I know...And I'm sad. Things...Things really are okay without you. But I now know with my other friends, who even if you add them all up together...aren't really as cool as you, I know we're all gonna be okay. I know we're all gonna be okay. I know we're all gonna be okay. Go back to Heaven now, Church, and say hi to Loco when you get there. He was alright too. |
| 327 | |
| 328 | ->'''Vic''': Dudes! Duderettes, and duderoons! If you're hearing this message, that's because I can't get to the phone right now. It also means [[HeroicSacrifice I had to erase my cabeza to save all the day for all y'all.]] You're welcome! Your old buddy Vic only has more thing to say to you dudes. [[InternalHomage Y'know, there are so many stories where some brave hero steps up and goes and gives their lives to save the day. And because of it, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer 'hooray!'. And everybody lives happily ever after.]] [[MoodWhiplash Except for Vic!]] Oh yeah, I'm out of here! Leave a message after the beep, compadres! But I won't check it, because I'm in the eternal infinity! This is 555-V-I-C-K, signing off! ...And if anybody backed me up, ''[[GroinAttack I will punch you in the nuts.]]'' |
| 329 | --> "Epilogues", Season 15. |
| 330 | [[/folder]] |
| 331 | |
| 332 | [[folder: The Shisno Paradox]] |
| 333 | ->''(Huggins is weighing her options just after both her and Grif got trapped in ancient Rome)''\ |
| 334 | '''Huggins:''' Okay, Huggins. You're marooned in the ''actual'' past. You need to stop this imminent orange mortal and his Shisno friends from destroying time itself. [[BlatantLies No biggies! No biggies!]] (laughs nervously) Idea one: grease the wheel of time! Fly around at the speed of light! Let relativity do its thing! Bingo bango, back to the future! Meanwhile, the Shisno free an ancient time god and we all die screaming. [[{{Understatement}} ...One for the maybe pile.]]\ |
| 335 | '''Huggins:''' ‘Kay, idea two - (voice gets noticeably deeper [[GoodColorsEvilColors and coloration turns a bloody red]]) '''''[[BewareTheSillyOnes Murder.]]''''' (watches over Grif from a distance) I bet he murders up ''reeeeeal'' nice.\ |
| 336 | '''Huggins:''' (turns back to her normal white coloration) No! [[BuffySpeak I can't do a murder!]] [[ThouShaltNotKill It's against my personal code!]] And the ''law!'' Stupid physics! I'm gonna have to reason with [[FantasticSlur the monkey.]] [[DisproportionateRetribution And in doing so, break divine decree and get tortured in the underworld for eternity!]] [[DissonantSerenity ...Ah, win some, lose some!]] |
| 337 | --> "It Just Blinked At Me", Season 16. |
| 338 | [[/folder]] |
| 339 | |
| 340 | [[folder: Singularity]] |
| 341 | |
| 342 | ->''(The Reds and Blues - aside from Donut and Doc - are all trapped in the Labyrinth being forced to experience [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor their greatest desires gone sour]] and [[IKnowWhatYouFear their greatest fears made flesh]])''\ |
| 343 | '''Carolina:''' Listen to me, you '''bitch.''' I can only assume some fluke of time travel brought you here. But this Labyrinth ain't big enough [[spoiler:for the two of me, okay?]]\ |
| 344 | ''([[spoiler:[[EnemyWithin Carolina's past self]] [[WhamShot emerges from the shadows, but says nothing]]]])''\ |
| 345 | [[spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: Nothing to say for yourself? You know what, we '''should''' talk. I don't give a hot '''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]''' if this messes with the timeline. [[BrutalHonesty You need to hear this.]] [[spoiler:[[IHatePastMe I feel so much rage when I look at you. You know that?]] [[ItsAllAboutMe You prioritize yourself over everything.]] You're going to get people killed. Heck, you're going to ''kill'' people! And they won't always deserve it. [[WellDoneDaughterGirl Dad won't love you more if you keep winning.]] He '''can't.''' He died when Mom died. And you'll '''bury''' him. [[KirkSummation Your competitive streak stops. I'm]] '''[[KirkSummation demanding it.]]''']]\ |
| 346 | ''([[spoiler:The two Carolinas stare each other down for another moment]])''\ |
| 347 | [[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: [[SuddenlyVoiced Oh. You're done?]] Okay. You got ''pretty'' talkative. No need for the lecture. [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech I can read your whole, shitty life from your]] ''[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech whiny]]'' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech tone of voice.]]\ |
| 348 | [[spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: Oh, you think you're so--\ |
| 349 | [[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: [[PreemptiveShutUp Directionless? Scared?]] '''[[ShutUpKirk No.]]''' No, actually, I... (laughs) [[SmugSnake I feel]] '''[[SmugSnake great!]]''' Weird, to hear all that from '''you''', though. Let me unpack this. [[MyGreatestFailure You've now tasted defeat]] - I'm assuming - and you were... aww, '''sad?''' (mockingly) For a '''while?''' [[LivingEmotionalCrutch And you want people around as crutches in case you]] '''[[LivingEmotionalCrutch trip]]''' [[LivingEmotionalCrutch again.]]\ |
| 350 | [[spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: (scoffs) When have I ever--\ |
| 351 | [[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: Think about it! - Ever allied with someone [[spoiler:''I'' didn't need? A friend in a high place. A bolt-hole. A wingman. [[ManipulativeBastard To forget how to utilize people is to forget yourself!]] Forget '''me.''' And frankly, '''that'd''' be damning enough, but you went further. Carolina, you stripped away what comes without thought. What's instinctual. [[IdentityDenial Your]] '''[[IdentityDenial passion.]]''' [[LossOfIdentity What greater betrayal is there?]] ''[[WhamLine You're not you anymore.]]'']] |
| 352 | --> "Omphalos", Season 17. |
| 353 | |
| 354 | ->''([[spoiler:The other Reds and Blues have freed each other/escaped from their prisons in the Labyrinth and have just found Carolina still being confronted by her past self]])''\ |
| 355 | [[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: And all I'm saying is, if [[spoiler:you can say Dad died when Mom did, ''you're'' a {{hypocrite}}. By ''that'' logic, you're dead too.]]\ |
| 356 | [[spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: (bitterly) Shut ''up.''\ |
| 357 | [[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: Freelancer's disbanded, huh? And apparently, [[spoiler:''I'' [[ItsAllAboutMe didn't gain anything.]]]]\ |
| 358 | [[spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: (angrily) Shut ''up!''\ |
| 359 | [[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: (continuing on without pause) [[spoiler:[[BrokenBird Aside from self-doubt!]]]] Whatcha' gonna do now, huh? (mockingly) Get a desk job? '''Pop out a baby?''' ''[[WhoAreYou What even are you?]]''\ |
| 360 | '''Wash:''' [[ShutUpHannibal I'll tell you what she isn't,]] [[{{Pun}} trauma queen!]] - A figment of a freaky Labyrinth! She's not real, Carolina!\ |
| 361 | [[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: I'm ''real.'' You don't like what you see because [[spoiler:[[ShadowArchetype I'm your reflection.]]]]\ |
| 362 | ''([[spoiler:The camera shifts, showing [[RuleOfSymbolism how Past!Carolina is reflected in Present!Carolina's visor]]]])''\ |
| 363 | [[spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: A mirror... That figures.\ |
| 364 | ''([[spoiler:Present!Carolina pulls out her pistol and starts shooting at Past!Carolina, who dodges to the side and then sprints between cover]])''\ |
| 365 | [[spoiler:'''Present!Carolina''']]: [[invoked]] [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Two-dimensional... Backwards...]] And ''what?'' [[spoiler:[[OldShame I'm meant to be ashamed when I look at you?!]] Well, you're ''damn right I do!'']]\ |
| 366 | '''Kaikaina:''' ''Snap!''\ |
| 367 | ''([[spoiler:Past!Carolina emerges from behind cover and aims at Present!Carolina]])''\ |
| 368 | [[spoiler:'''Past!Carolina''']]: [[spoiler:[[ThatManIsDead I'm what you can no longer be.]]]]\ |
| 369 | ''([[spoiler:Present!Carolina throws her gun down and [[GoodOldFisticuffs raises her fists]]]])''\ |
| 370 | '''[[spoiler:Present!Carolina]]:''' [[ShutUpHannibal Yep.]] ''[[PreAsskickingOneLiner And you’re in my way.]]''\ |
| 371 | ''([[spoiler:Past!Carolina does the same and approaches her]])''\ |
| 372 | '''[[spoiler:Present!Carolina]]:''' ''[[ThisIsSomethingHesGotToDoHimself Leave her to me.]]'' |
| 373 | --> "Theogeny", Season 17. |
| 374 | |
| 375 | [[/folder]] |
| 376 | |
| 377 | [[folder:Restoration]] |
| 378 | ->'''Grif:''' Hey Simmons?\ |
| 379 | '''Simmons:''' Yeah?\ |
| 380 | '''Grif:''' You ever figure it out? Why we were here?\ |
| 381 | '''Simmons:''' Nah, still a work in progress for me I suppose. How about you?\ |
| 382 | '''Grif:''' No, I never did figure it out. But I did reach one conclusion.\ |
| 383 | '''Simmons:''' And? What was that?\ |
| 384 | '''Grif:''' If I did have to be here...I'm just glad I was here with all of you.\ |
| 385 | '''Simmons:'''...Good enough. |
| 386 | |
| 387 | |
| 388 | [[/folder]] |
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