| 1 | ->''"Up until just a year ago or so, I could not master a Bechamel sauce to save my life, probably because I'm an impatient person who had to train myself out of the mindset of 'Well, if it takes a half hour at 250 degrees, if I turn it up to 500 degrees it'll cook ''twice as fast''!'"'' |
| 2 | -->-- '''{{Porcelain72}}''', ''[[http://porcelain72.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-hurt-myself-today.html You Are Not a Winner]]'' |
| 3 | |
| 4 | -> '''"Nick"''': So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.\ |
| 5 | '''blxckbiird:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND]]\ |
| 6 | '''"Nick"''': FLOOR IT?\ |
| 7 | '''blxckbiird:''' '''NICK NO'''\ |
| 8 | '''"Nick"''': HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND\ |
| 9 | '''blxckbiird:''' '''''[[OhCrap NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN]]'''''\ |
| 10 | '''"Nick"''': I’M GOING TO [[BeyondTheImpossible HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN]] TO MAKE COOKIES\ |
| 11 | '''blxckbiird:''' '''''NICK P L E A S E''''' |
| 12 | -->-- ''[[http://blxckbiird.tumblr.com/post/93087346034/spaghetti-western-wannabe-blxckbiird via Tumblr]]'' |
| 13 | |
| 14 | ->'''Cnoc na Riabh:''' ''(after Altria Caster’s disastrous chocolate-making attempt)'' Let me guess: You’re the kind of faerie who thinks anything that takes ten minutes at low heat to cook can also be cooked in two minutes at high heat, aren’t you?\ |
| 15 | ''(Altria nods)'' |
| 16 | -->-- ''VideoGame/FateGrandOrder'' |
| 17 | |
| 18 | ->'''[[MadScientist Randall Fargus]]''': You see, microwaved popcorn generally takes about 5 minutes to pop but what if I were to put a simple bag of popcorn inside of five different microwaves at once!? Then I could pop through all that popcorn in just one minute! I mean, a delicious bag of popcorn being made in just a fifth of the time!? You can't go wrong! |
| 19 | -->-- ''Website/FamilyGuyFanon'', Season 7, Episode 16 "[[https://familyguyfanon.fandom.com/wiki/How_Farg_is_Heaven%3F How Farg is Heaven?]]" |
| 20 | |
| 21 | ->''"UsefulNotes/{{Venus}} is 900 degrees. I could tell you it melts lead. But that's not as fun as saying, 'You can cook a pizza on the windowsill in nine seconds.' And next time my fans eat pizza, they're thinking of Venus!"'' |
| 22 | -->-- '''UsefulNotes/NeilDeGrasseTyson''' |
| 23 | |
| 24 | ->'''Project manager (noun):''' a person who [[PointyHairedBoss thinks nine women can make a baby in one month]]. |
| 25 | -->-- [[https://devrant.com/rants/1048826/interesting-definitions-1-project-manager-is-a-person-who-thinks-nine-women-can devrant]] |
| 26 | |
| 27 | ->'''Roll:''' Vitamins. Take them once a day until they’re gone. Eat extra red meat and drink a glass of milk at breakfast. Your bones and muscles will thank you.\ |
| 28 | '''Bowser:''' I can take them all right now.\ |
| 29 | '''Roll:''' Do you want your stomach pumped? |
| 30 | -->-- ''Franchise/SuperMarioBros'' fic ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/46147414 Nascent]]'' |
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