Line #5 Main/DinnerBathOrSexOffer


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5	[[quoteright:350:[[Manga/NurseHitomisMonsterInfirmary https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hitomi_dinner_bath_or_me.png]]]]
6
7	-> ''Welcome back, honey! Now what would you like? Dinner? A bath? Or perhaps... me?''
8	-->-- '''Loving wife, to her husband'''
9
10	A character, usually a housewife but almost AlwaysFemale, offers her partner three choices; traditionally, it's either meal, bath or sex. Downplayed examples may ignore the offer of sex, while Exaggerated examples may offer multiple partners, or show up in a NakedApron.
11
12	As this trope has its basis in an old Japanese custom[[note]]its name in Japan is "shinkon santaku", roughly meaning "newlywed's three choices"[[/note]] (which is likely to get parodied nowadays), this trope is fairly common in hentai and {{Ecchi}}, particularly [[RomanticComedy Rom Coms]] and HaremGenre anime. In modern comedies the protagonist will often either choose one of the options that isn't sex or ignore the question entirely; it's not uncommon for the person being asked the question to [[ObliviousToLove not reciprocate]] [[UnwantedHarem the girl's feelings]] at all. Alternately, in a raunchier sort of comedy they may choose all three at the same time.
13
14	Merely making the offer implies the submissive/dominant roles of the relationship between the characters, because the submissive is ready for "anything" asked of them. In exaggerated or parodic examples, the third option may be PunctuatedForEmphasis in a suggestive and often sing-song way. Only giving one option doesn't qualify, unless it's a MortonsFork where each option leads to the same result. Another part of this trope is that it is also often practiced by InsatiableNewlyweds or SickeninglySweethearts, and played for maximum {{glurge}} that ends up giving their colleagues and acquaintances {{cuteness overload}}s and/or jealousy.
15	----
16	!Examples
17
18	[[foldercontrol]]
19	[[folder:Advertising]]
20	* Parodied by Creator/{{Sega}} at the end of a [[https://youtu.be/FDt6p6qzOXU?si=2euS54pQqjW7fe7z TV ad]] for their Platform/GameGear console with a flight attendant saying "Coffee? Tea? [[TitleScream SEGA!]]"
21	[[/folder]]
22	[[folder:Anime, Light Novel, and Manga]]
23	* In ''Manga/AiYoriAoshi'', Aoi says this during an ImagineSpot by Kaoru. Inside it, it didn't matter which choice he picked, because he gets her no matter what.
24	* In ''Manga/{{Beastars}}'', Louis makes light of Legoshi [[spoiler: eating his leg]] earlier while recovering in the hospital by offering him three choices; two types of food, and the third option being 'me'. The line could be read either way, as a DoubleEntendre or a tease about Legoshi's predation.
25	* In ''Literature/BlackBullet'', Enju tries to offer choices to Rentaro while wearing nothing but a ModestyTowel. Rentaro's response is to implore her to PleasePutSomeClothesOn.
26	* In ''Literature/BookOfBantorra'', Hamyuts Meseta asks if Mallatast (who she considers her "boytoy") wants "dinner, bath, or me?". Mallatast chooses the sex, and {{Bridal Carr\|y}}ies her to their bedroom.
27	* In one of the ''Manga/FateKaleidLinerPrismaIllya'' Blu-Ray specials, Sella gets bullied by Irisviel into doing this for Shirou. She's terrified and humiliated to begin with, but Shirou choosing "dinner" [[ArentYouGoingToRavishMe is the last straw]].
28	* ''Anime/DigimonAdventureTri'' features a G rated variant, where Tentomon wears an apron and asks Koushiro if he wants dinner or a bath first.
29	* ''Literature/TheFamiliarOfZero'': When Siesta invokes her right to use Saito for a day, she sets up a newlywed scenario and tries this on him. However, when reaches "bath" she then realises that about half the school's maids are eavesdropping and stops to drive them away, then tries to finish as if nothing happened. Saito chooses dinner.
30	* ''VisualNovel/TheFruitOfGrisaia'': In the anime, Amane tries to offer choices to Yuuji, but before she's even finished he bluntly states, "I'll have a shower" and walks straight past her.
31	* ''Manga/IchaichaSuruToOkaneGaWaichauFutariNoHanashi'': Hanasaki fantasizes about asking Aki this when he gets home, with him interrupting her with a WallPinOfLove before she gets to the last one.
32	* In ''Literature/KonoSuba'', one member of the Axis Cult does this to troll Kazuma, asking "Are you here for conversion? Baptism? Or are you here for me?" Kazuma is dumbfounded before she laughs and tells him she was joking, while Kazuma rages on the inside and wishes he could punch her.
33	** In the ''Explosion'' spinoff, Cecily does this to Megumin by offering her either a bath, her or an Axis conversion.
34	* In ''Manga/LoveHina'', Mutsumi gets a crack on the head and her personality reverts to being five years old. She offers a choice that implies sex while "playing house" with Keitaro, making him and Naru wonder whether she's screwing with them or not.
35	* In ''Manga/TheMaidIHiredRecentlyIsMysterious'', Lilith makes such an offer to Yuuri when [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness he fails to respond]] to [[TheTease her usual teasing]]. She then immediately panics, thinking she's gone too far, but Yuuri just sighs and walks off, prompting Lilith to ask whether he's fallen ill.
36	* In ''Manga/MissCaretakerOfSunoharaSou'', Yuzu describes to Aki the kind of wife she wants to be and has a daydream where she welcomes home her husband with this exact phrase. However, after noticing Aki fidgeting, she adds "Or maybe you can eat my bath scrubbers instead!" [[{{tsundere}} while throwing them at Aki's head]].
37	* ''Manga/MissKobayashisDragonMaid'': The second chapter of ''Kanna's Daily Life'' opens with Tohru asking Kobayashi if she wants "a maid, a dragon, or her". Kobayashi points out that none of those are real options.
38	* ''Manga/MonsterMusume'': {{Exaggerated\|Trope}} when the {{Lamia}} girl Miia gives the "food, bath, or me?" offer complete with the NakedApron to her exchange program host Kimihito (wearing a SalaryMan outfit) in one of her {{Imagine Spot}}s. The response (she imagined) was "[[TakeAThirdOption I'll have YOU for dinner]] [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs IN the bath, Miia!]]", and we get a shot of him [[WallBangHer doing her on the bathtub]] still [[RightThroughHisPants wearing her apron while he's still wearing]] his SalaryMan uniform.
39	* ''VisualNovel/{{Nekopara}}'': Occurs three times in the TV Series.
40	** Cinnamon puts on a play for Caocao using the Mama and Papa Bear dolls, with the Mama Bear offering him dinner, bath, or "[[SubvertedTrope something else...]][[DoubleSubversion Like bathing me!]]"
41	** While the catgirls are sharing stories during a storm. Vanilla tells an expansion of the story Chocola told about them living together in a gingerbread house with the latter receiving this offer from the former upon returning home from work.
42	** A flashback of Shigure's BigBrotherAttraction shows her giving Kashou this offer. He chooses "bath." She tries to join him but gets thrown out almost comically.
43	* In ''Literature/NoGameNoLife'', when Fil returns to the exiled Kurami with a bag of ISOStandardUrbanGroceries while the latter is taking a bath:
44	-->'''Fil:''' Do you want information? Food? Or... ''[removes her hood]'' ...me?\
45	'''Kurami:''' ''[smiling]'' Clothes first, I think.
46	* ''Manga/NurseHitomisMonsterInfirmary'': In Chapter 6, when Tatara is telling her to "take it [her lab coat] off and put an apron on," Hitomi has an ImagineSpot of her in a NakedApron making this offer. In a later chapter, she does the same thing as part of a dream sequence.
47	* ''Literature/NyarukoCrawlingWithLove'': {{Exaggerated\|Trope}}; Nyaruko offers Mahiro three choices, all of which are her:
48	-->"You must've had a hard day at work. Would you like to start with me? Or would you prefer me first? Or maybe you'd like... me?"
49	* ''Literature/Overlord2012'': Albedo pulls this on Ainz (clearly hoping for the third one), before realizing she forgot to do so wearing only an apron and begs for Ainz' forgiveness. As Ainz is a walking skeleton and thus incapable of reciprocating, it makes no difference to him either way. The fact that he unintentionally rewrote her settings to be this way towards him is also a factor in his not wanting to take advantage of her.
50	* ''Literature/ThePetGirlOfSakurasou'': Subverted by Misaki in the first episode as she offers Sorata dinner, bath, or.... underwear. [[note]]The word is "ma-wa-shi" -- a sumo wrestler's loincloth -- an intentional corruption of "Watashi" ("Me"). She also tries "tawashi", a scrubbing brush -- Sorata implores her to get to the "Watashi" part already.[[/note]]
51	* In ''Anime/PlasticMemories'', [[RidiculouslyHumanRobot Isla]] makes Tsukasa such an offer in TheStinger of Episode 6. PlayedForLaughs in that she got the idea from Tsukasa's book of romantic advice, and ''clearly'' doesn't understand what she's saying.
52	* ''Manga/PuellaMagiMadokaMagicaTheDifferentStory'': In the preface to ''Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Different Story'', Homura suggests [[MediumAwareness re-branding the spinoff]] as a RomanticComedy in order to [[PanderingToTheBase appeal to the audience]], complete with an ImagineSpot of Madoka offering the choice, although Homura interrupts, choosing Madoka before she finishes.
53	* ''Manga/{{Saki}}'': The title character subtly suggests sex in Kyoutaro's imagine spot of Nodoka in episode 4.
54	--> "Welcome home darling. Would you like something to eat? Or maybe a bath? Or perhaps..."
55	* ''Manga/ShesMyKnight'': Nikaido has [[{{Bifauxnen}} Mogami]] and [[{{Tsundere}} Ichinose]] both say this to the other while wearing an apron, to tell which one of them is the shoujo manga hero and which is the heroine. Ichinose is too bashful to say the whole phrase.[[note]]Keep in mind they're high schoolers.[[/note]]
56	* ''Literature/StrikeTheBlood'': {{Subverted\|Trope}}. While Kojou Akatsuki is aboard another vampire lord's boat. Several bikini-clad women introduce themselves as maids and offer to wash his back. When he refuses, they offer to wash his front, which he refuses even harder. He questions whether they actually ''are'' maids, and they reveal the subversion: they're political hostages from foreign lands, trying to seduce him so that they'd become pregnant with the child of the most powerful vampire in the world, which would guarantee them political status.
57	* ''Literature/StudentCouncilsDiscretion'': [[YaoiFangirl Mafuyu]], while play-acting as Sugisaki's wife in ''Lv. 2'', goes from offering food or a bath to offering him sex with the older guy, Nakameguro.
58	-->"Welcome home, Darling. Will you start with dinner? Or a bath? Or... Nakameguro-sempai?"
59	* In ''Manga/ToLoveRu'', Yui has an ImagineSpot of her and Rito being married, where future Rito comes home and future Yui greets him by asking "Would you like dinner? Or a bath first?" before Rito asks for "a welcome home kiss". At which point Yui snaps out of her daydream in horror.
60	* In ''Manga/WhisperedWords'', Sumika fantasizes about Ushio becoming a housewife and offering her a choice that includes sex.
61	* In ''Manga/YubisakiMilkTea'', Hidari once greets her father when he came home by offering him dinner, bath, or herself. [[TakeAThirdOption He decides to go to bed, instead.]]
62	[[/folder]]
63
64	[[folder:Fan Works]]
65	* In ''Izuku's Pro Hero Harem Life!'', Ochako and Momo surprise Izuku with one of these. In [[NakedApron nothing but aprons]], no less.
66	[[/folder]]
67
68	[[folder:Literature]]
69	* ''[[http://www.amazon.com/Coffee-Uninhibited-Memoirs-Airline-Stewardesses/dp/0142003514 Coffee, Tea, or Me?]]'', a book about the airline industry in the 1960s, discusses this trope, putting the offer in the title.
70	[[/folder]]
71
72	[[folder:Live-Action Television]]
73	* In ''Series/BeingHumanUK'' season 3, Annie makes the "Coffee, tea, or me" offer to Mitchell. She's only teasing him; however, the characters are aware that it is a cliche, and he picks coffee.
74	* ''Series/NotTheNineOClockNews'': Subverted in a parody of Sheena Easton's 1981 hit, "Morning Train", in which grumpy tired husband Creator/RowanAtkinson arrives home to his wife "Sheena Easton" only for her to burst into song at him about what a good wife she is. (The ''My Baby Takes the Morning Train'' song). Rowan Atkinson cannot help but strangle her.
75	* In ''Series/PicketFences'' episode "Bad Moon Rising", a scantily-clad woman in Matthew's dream offers "Chocolate cake, UsefulNotes/GameBoy, and me."
76	[[/folder]]
77
78	[[folder:Music]]
79	* [[AustralianMusic Skyhooks]]' "Women In Uniform":
80	-->''Flying to my hometown on a seven-forty-seven''
81	-->''Stewardess made me feel like I'm in heaven''
82	-->''Looking up the aisle trying to see what I could see''
83	-->''She leaned over and said "Coffee, tea or me?"''
84	[[/folder]]
85
86	[[folder:Radio]]
87	* ''Radio/TheBurkissWay'': Subverted in a sketch written by Creator/DouglasAdams. Ghenghiz Khan, at the end of a hard day's pillaging, finds a house with three women in it who are completely at his mercy. Ghenghis is exasperated when they offer him what they ''think'' he wants. He has to patiently explain what ''will'' fulfill his needs, and the quickest learner begins to nag, berate and browbeat him as if he is an errant husband arriving late from the office. The mighty ruler of the fates of millions sighs contentedly and relaxes...
88	[[/folder]]
89
90	[[folder:Video Games]]
91	* ''VideoGame/ArNosurgeOdeToAnUnbornStar'': In Nay's MentalWorld where Cass and Delta are a married couple:
92	-->"More importantly, what would you like to do first tonight? Dinner? Bath? Or.. a scrubber?"
93	:::(where "scrubber", ''tawashi'', is a anagram of "me", ''watashi''. Choosing this option lands you with washing the dishes.)
94	* ''VideoGame/AzurLane'': Taihou being [[SingleTargetSexuality Tai]][[ShamelessFanserviceGirl hou]], she combines this with ButThouMust in one of her secretary lines:
95	--> (to the Commander)''Would you like to take a bath with me? Would you like to eat me? Or... would you like to do~ it~ with~ me~? Ahahaha!''
96	* In ''VideoGame/EnsembleStars'', Hinata jokingly says this to Tetora as a welcome, just as part of him being overly outgoing and audacious. (Tetora basically ignores him.)
97	* ''VideoGame/EternalSonata'': A Downplayed trope in the bonus dungeon "Mysterious Unison". There is a soul orb called Mute who offers your party the choice of a shower first, or if you want to eat. If you choose Shower and have enough Gold, your party is healed. If you choose Eat and have the max amount of Gold of 99,999,999, then your party is granted a Soul Shard item, one of seven found in the dungeon.
98	* ''VideoGame/TimeAndEternity'': In order to gauge how strong the bond between the soon-to-be-married main couple is, a guardian asks them a question. The guardian basically asks which would the guy choose after coming home; food, a bath, or his blushing bride. With the guardian being a DirtyOldMan, the correct answer is the guy's bride.
99	* ''VideoGame/KanColle'': Houshou, one of the light carrier girls, says this in one of her secretary lines, fitting for her motherly personality.
100	--> (to the Admiral) ''You must be tired. Would you like a meal? The bath? Or... fufu, just kidding.''
101	* ''VideoGame/GirlsFrontline'' has Kalina greet you on the premium cash shop with a variation:
102	--> (to the Commander) ''Would you like a meal? The bath? Or... MAYBE SHOPPING?''
103	* Parodied in a scene in the bonus story of Salem in ''VideoGame/FateGrandOrder''. It features Princess Iron Fan (played by Nightingale) and Ox-Demon King (played by Altria Lancer Alter) in a play inspired by ''Literature/JourneyToTheWest'':
104	--> '''Princess Iron Fan:''' Oh my, oh my, if it isn't my honey.
105	--> '''Ox-Demon King:''' Your honey!?
106	--> '''Princess Iron Fan:''' Ahh, what a momentous occasion it is to see you here in my Plantain Cave on Jade Cloud Mountain. Tell me, what brings you here? Are you feeling ill? Would you like to have dinner? A bath? '''Or perhaps...''' '''[[BaitAndSwitch some peroxide?]]'''
107	* ''VideoGame/TakeshisChallenge'' has several options, three of which follow this trope (even though it isn't said outright, they're still 3 choices), being "FOOD", "BATH", and "LET'S GO TO BED".
108	[[/folder]]

Context Main / DinnerBathOrSexOffer