Line #57 Literature/ThisBookIsFullOfSpidersSeriouslyDudeDontTouchIt


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7	->Warning: You may have huge, invisible spiders living in your skull. '''THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.''' You will dismiss this as ridiculous fearmongering. Dismissing things is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection: The spider secretes a chemical into the human brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like.
8
9	Another [[DirectLineToTheAuthor pseudo-autobiographical]] novel by Website/{{Cracked}} Editor Creator/JasonPargin, ''This Book Is Full Of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It'' is the second story about AuthorAvatar David Wong and the sequel to ''Literature/JohnDiesAtTheEnd''.
10
11	Still living in [[CityWithNoName [Undisclosed] ]] with John ([[LateArrivalSpoiler who (probably) didn't die at the end]]), things seem to be going fine [[NightmareFuel until Dave wakes up with a large spider-monster injecting him with paralyzing venom and trying to burrow into his skull.]] After a narrow escape wherein a police officer is infected, a massive outbreak occurs, and John [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext "accidentally" texts photos of his genitals to Dave twice]], ''[[FromBadToWorse things somehow get worse]]''. Despite the amount of brain-hugging spiders, gruesome deaths, grotesque monsters and [[NauseaFuel nausea]]/[[NightmareFuel nightmare fuel]], [[HilarityEnsues things get pretty damn funny]].
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13	Released on October 2nd 2012, ''This Book Is Full Of Spiders'' currently has a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5swoHS21tBw book trailer]] and shares [[http://www.johndiesattheend.com JDATE's site.]]
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15	A third book, titled ''Literature/WhatTheHellDidIJustReadANovelOfCosmicHorror'', was released October 3rd, 2017.
16	----
17	!!Provides examples of:
18
19	* AcronymsAreEasyAsAybeecee: Dave mishears REPER as "raper" and double checks [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant he isn't getting the wrong idea]]. Amy initially thinks the word's "Reaver". [[ShoutOut "Like from 'Firefly'"]].
20	* AnAesop: In times of crisis, the great killer is paranoia, fear, and human stupidity.
21	* AffablyEvil: [[spoiler: Dr. Tennet]] is always extremely polite and professional, to the point of supplying coffee and tea during his villain monologue. He explains that he honestly thinks that he's doing the best thing for humanity. The closest he gets to being mean-spirited is calling John a manchild for, in Tennet's opinion, refusing to accept what he believes is a good idea in [[spoiler:uniting America under fear of the 'other' by way of a zombie threat]].
22	* TheAlcoholic: John is revealed to go into withdrawal when he hasn't had a drink in a while. Also, when he first fires the "fur gun," it [[spoiler:makes a beer larger, implying that he was thinking about having a big drink at that moment]].
23	* TheAllegedCar: John's Caddie, which has a stereo that's always blasting a Music/CreedenceClearwaterRevival tape at max volume. It's such a piece of junk that the looters don't even bother to steal it. Which is good, because the trunk contained several guns and a flamethrower.
24	* AncientConspiracy: [[spoiler:"Them", who are revealed to be involved in the spider outbreak.]]
25	* AntiHero: Dave and John are, by their own admission, a couple of screw-ups, but they're not without their heroic attributes.
26	* AppliedPhlebotinum:
27	** The Soy Sauce, which is required to see the spiders.
28	** Also the portals/doors that teleport soy-sauce users randomly around town.
29	** [[spoiler:The "furgun", which transforms targets or makes things appear out of thin air, based on what the user imagines.]]
30	* AuthorAvatar: David Wong stars in a book by David Wong. (Though technically the author's real name is Jason Pargin).
31	* AuthorAppeal: Part way through the book, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbars_number Dunbar's number]] makes an appearance to explain a plot point. Pargin/Wong has written about this previously [[http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html on Cracked]].
32	* AwesomeMcCoolname: Detective Lance Falconer, which Dave notes it's the type of name you find on ''Miami Vice''-style cops who have gunfights all the time and own gull-wing sports cars. [[spoiler: The epilogue implies Dave made that name up for him to specifically sound badass.]]
33	* BasedOnAGreatBigLie: Same as ''Literature/JohnDiesAtTheEnd'', the book pretty much ''insists'' it's based on truth. [[spoiler:Lampshaded in the conclusion when Detective Lance Falconer asks Wong to fabricate his details to make him cooler.]]
34	* BewareTheLiving: [[spoiler:Present and accounted for with the hipsters and other folks, who are all mentioned to have killed uninfected people out of paranoia.]]
35	* {{BFG}}: John's triple-barreled shotgun he bought at a gun show. Loaded with scattershot on the outside barrels and a slug on the middle barrel, John says it can cut down a tree with one blast.
36	* BigBad: [[spoiler: Dr. Tennet, though he himself admits he's just a pawn.]]
37	* BlackComedy: The story is about 75% comedy and 25% horror.
38	* BlatantLies: A in-universe post taken from Free Republic describes a confrontation between John and Munch's Dad, from Munch's Dad's perspective. He claims to have said things he clearly didn't and gotten responses that not only John didn't say but probably would never say, in an attempt to make himself sound better and John sound worse.
39	* BodyHorror: The spiders, which burrow into the victim's brain, before permanently attaching themselves to the host's brain and altering their nervous system and body, making the only cure death. [[spoiler: Except, the Spiders turn out to be sentient and point out that a lot of humans have them inside them without any adverse effects. In short, making Spider-Brain not a big deal. A quality our antiheroes aren't quite sure how to deal with.]]
40	* BookshelfOfAuthority: Dr. Tennet is shown in front of a bookshelf of books he has written, foreshadowing a later revelation that the shadow people (bad guys) are using him for their own purposes.
41	* BreakTheCutie: [[spoiler:The reason Undisclosed is saved from eradication; since John is recording Amy cradling Molly's corpse after Molly is shot by the Army, the world takes sympathy and no longer views Undisclosed as a monster-infested city beyond redemption.]]
42	* BreakThemByTalking: Lampshaded. When Dr Tennet insists that he's one of the good guys, Dave wonders why, if that's the case, he's delivering a villain monologue.
43	* ChainsawGood: John asserts that only "cure" to spider infection involves "finding out what a chainsaw tastes like". He later uses a chainsaw to [[spoiler:decapitate an infected Frankie]]. John's enthusiasm for chainsaws is a bit of a CallBack to David's assertion in the previous book about how chainsaws make the absolute dumbest weapons.
44	* ChekhovsGun:
45	** The mysterious green box, which, as it turns out, contains a very strange gun that gets used in the final chapters.
46	** Amy's "Velvet Elvis" Jesus painting becomes very important in the climax.
47	* CityWithNoName: Undisclosed's name is still withheld, even though the events of ''this'' story supposedly made national news, so everyone should already know what town Dave is talking about.
48	* CowboyCop: Lance Falconer is parody of the trope. It's revealed that [[spoiler:Falconer insisted that David make him out to be this way]].
49	* CreepyChild: Anna, an unattended little girl at the Ffirth Asylum with a crusty teddy bear. The protagonists treat her cautiously, as if they're half-expecting her to reveal herself to be some kind of monster at any moment. [[spoiler:To everyone's surprise, although it turns out she is a monster, she ''doesn't'' want to kill our heroes.]]
50	* CruelAndUnusualDeath:
51	** Curing a case of brain spiders is either "finding out what a chainsaw tastes like", or a bullet in the brain followed by having face-melting acids poured into the wound/mouth.
52	** Carlos has a habit of killing his victims by eviscerating people who sit down outside. [[spoiler:It later turns out he's a decent guy that can see who is infected, and simply gives them an arguably preferable death of having organs swiftly torn out (as opposed to slow-death by spider possession, transformation and gradual decay).]]
53	* DeadlyBath: Dave remembers an incident where something invisible was standing in between him and his running showerhead. Dave even lampooned this trope in the previous book.
54	* DeathByGenreSavviness:
55	** [[spoiler:Despite Amy pointing out that liking zombie media does not make one a zombie expert, the hipsters still charge the Ffirth Asylum and all die horribly. Averted with Amy, who, despite realizing This Is Real Life and they'll die if they enter the Ffirth Asylum, is physically unscathed in the event.]]
56	** [[spoiler:Also invoked with TJ who, after lampshading that the Black Dude Dies First, dies first in the Ffirth Asylum Massacre.]]
57	* {{Deconstruction}}: Of ZombieApocalypse fantasies. A bunch of zombie movie fans leap at the chance to enact all their detailed plans for surviving the apocalypse, [[spoiler:only to discover that they're completely unprepared and die horribly after killing dozens of innocent people]]. Dr. Marconi notes that zombies are the perfect villain: an enemy that can be destroyed without any guilt, since the enemy is already dead. Also not only does the military effectively contain the infection, but do so in a relatively short timespan, with the entire story taking place over only a week or so.
58	* DeusExMachina:
59	** Late in the book, an airstrike [[spoiler:manages to ''only'' kill infected and their hatchlings.]] This being ''John Dies at the End'', it's heavily implied some kind of
60	** Weaponized with [[spoiler:The Fur Gun, which apparently materialises or edits whatever the wielder wants or needs]]. Just as the monsters close in and it seems like the conspiracy will go off without the hitch, a DeusExMachina is ''literally invoked'' when [[spoiler:one of the main characters' obsession with a cheap kitschy painting of Jesus becomes a Godlike divine smiter firing laser death rays from its eyes after it's struck by the Fur Gun in desperation.]]
61	* DramaticIrony: In the Best Buy, David knocks several people over trying to escape to find Amy. It's heavily implied in her later POV chapter that one of them ''is'' Amy.
62	* EldritchAbomination: The Shadow Men.
63	* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: Everyone in the hospital refers to Dave as "Spider-man" because [[spoiler:he's the only one who can see the spiders]].
64	* EvilDetectingDog: Molly can easily tell monsters from people, but is too indifferent to actually do anything about it.
65	* EvilInc: [[spoiler:REPER. Think the CDC, but ''evil''.]]
66	* FacelessMooks: REPER soldiers in their black decontamination suits. Amy even thinks they look like monsters. [[spoiler:Justified, because that's exactly what they are - the black visors mask hollow skulls controlled by parasites.]]
67	* FlayingAlive: [[spoiler:The REPER blacksuits; at least two are seen without masks, and both lack skin ''and have spiders for eyes.'']]
68	* ForegoneConclusion: Every section opens with a countdown to something occurring, being it the Outbreak, the massacre at the asylum, or [Undisclosed] being bombed.
69	* FourTemperamentEnsemble:
70	** Sanguine: John.[[note]]BoisterousBruiser[=/=]CloudCuckoolander (i.e. wacky, but wields a chainsaw)[[/note]]
71	** Choleric: Dave.[[note]]{{Determinator}}[=/=]ByronicHero (i.e. persistent and calls the shots)[[/note]]
72	** Melancholic/Supine: Amy.[[note]]TheSmartGuy[=/=]ShrinkingViolet (i.e. good with computers and logic, but emotionally unstable)[[/note]]
73	** Phlegmatic: [[spoiler:Molly.]][[note]]TheStoic[=/=]OnlySaneMan (i.e. [[spoiler:indifferent, lazy, neutral, but frequently the hero)]][[/note]]
74	* TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou: [[spoiler: Amy didn't lose her hand in a car crash. A Shadow Man deletes her hand by walking through it, and reality retroactively rearranges itself to explain the loss with a mundane event. As Amy has been one-handed for the whole series, the Shadow Men's powers not only retconned the book's reality, but ''ours'' as well.]]
75	* FunWithAcronyms: In keeping with real-life official names such as [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centers_for_Disease_Control_and_Prevention the CDC]] and [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_and_Drug_Administration the FDA]], fictional organizations include REPER[[note]] ('''R'''apid '''E'''xotic '''P'''athogen '''E'''radication slash '''R'''esearch) [[/note]] and OGZA[[note]] ('''O'''utbreak '''G'''round '''Z'''ero '''A'''lpha) [[/note]].
76	* GenghisGambit: [[spoiler:"Them"'s partial reasoning for causing an otherworldly zombie outbreak is in uniting America and the world against a threat of outsiders - in this case, the possibility your neighbor is now a mutant brain-eating zombie infected by spiders. Unfortunately, this both means importing in extradimensional monsters who are fully aware of their formerly-human status and is also about using paranoia to divide and conquer humanity... ...and take over the world in case the monsters spread.]]
77	* GenreSavvy: As with the previous book, John and Dave frequently anticipate horror tropes, though they're not always right. John flat-out refuses to get onto the elevator with Anna because she's a CreepyChild and doesn't want to be AloneWithThePsycho. Instead, he races the elevator and positions himself so that he can blast her the moment the elevator door opens in case she transformed into a monster on the way up. [[spoiler:It turns out that she is a monster, but she's not a threat]].
78	* GilliganCut: The countdown chapter headings cause these:
79	** After burning his house down, Dave breathes a sigh of relief and states that there will be no outbreak. On the next page, the counter has jumped to "8 Hours Prior to the Outbreak".
80	** The gang seems to have averted the impending aerial bombing, and Dave happily states that everything is working out. The next page is "15 Minutes Until the Aerial Bombing of Undisclosed".
81	* GreatEscape: [[spoiler:The second section of the book is about trying to escape the hospital lockdown.]]
82	* GuiltFreeExterminationWar: [[spoiler:REPER can get away with wiping Undisclosed off the map simply because they're the only force in town, and can twist events however they want (''despite there only being an estimated 70 infected left by the end of the outbreak'').]]
83	* HandWave: [[spoiler:In the "Molly" chapter, Dave announces that he's not going to explain how he managed to include a dog's perspective on a sequence of events, not to mention she's dead by the time he writes the book. If anyone could do it, though, it seems like he could.]]
84	* HeroicSacrifice: [[spoiler: According to Marconi, a sacrifice is required to stop the infection once and for all. Dave thinks it's him. At the end it turns out to be Molly, who jumps in front of a bullet headed for Amy while time is frozen at the climax. The footage of Molly's death and Amy crying over her make the world realize that Undisclosed isn't full of infected as everyone had thought.]]
85	* HeroicWillpower: [[spoiler:Carlos may be infected and "monstered out", but he's in control of his senses. He can also control his transformation and re-assume a human form.]]
86	* HeterosexualLifePartners: Dave and John. Parodied InUniverse when Amy implies that accidentally sending a photo of his genitals twice in a row [[MistakenForGay is somewhat unlikely, and may not be an accident.]]
87	* HollywoodHacking: Averted. When Amy needs to get into REPER's computers, she starts with a BoringButPractical real hacking trick: see if anybody wrote their password down. She figures that any sufficiently complicated security system probably involves so many different passwords that the employees can't memorize all of them and have to keep a list somewhere, and a quick search of the nearest desk proves her right.
88	* HopeSpot: Early in the book, it looks like John has solved the problem by [[KillItWithFire torching a house]]. Then we meet [[OverlyLongName Halfface Firefighter Bloodyhead Spinbones]], and things... become much worse.
89	* HumansAreCthulhu: Dr Tennet tells a story about a laundry room that seems to be haunted by a monster, but realizes that the noise is caused by a hive of bees living in the wall and burns out the hive. He concludes that the laundry room ''was'' haunted by a murderous monster: himself.
90	* IDidWhatIHadToDo[=/=]JustFollowingOrders: [[spoiler:Dr. Tennet's justification for trying to nuke Undisclosed; namely, it isn't his concern ''why'', he's simply ordering the destruction of Undisclosed because it needs to be done.]] He and several other antagonists see themselves as trying to prevent the apocalypse, protecting the world from the horrific consequences of incompetent idealists and self-interested fools. Their relationship with TheManBehindTheMan is nuanced.
91	* IJustShotMarvinInTheFace: [[ConversationalTroping Conversed]] when Amy informs Josh that, while loading his gun, he accidentally pointed the barrel of his gun at her head four times.
92	-->Josh... I'm impressed you did this, you're amazing for just making this trip. But ''[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech you don't know what you're doing with that thing.]]'' And I think there's a one percent chance you're going to actually need the guns and a ninety-nine percent chance that a stray cat is going to jump out of the shadows and you're going to shoot each other. And me.
93	* IKnowMortalKombat: Defied. The zombie enthusiasts ''believe'' that they have gained practical knowledge and skills by watching zombie movies and playing zombie video games, but it turns out that they have no idea how to handle firearms or defend themselves.
94	* ImprobableAimingSkills: The [=UAVs=] at the hospital, which can snipe a moving target in windy conditions at night by a pilot several states away, preventing people from hopping the razor-wire fencing. [[HandWave Handwaved]] as being done through a computer that compensates for variables.
95	* IncomingHam: John, after vaulting the asylum wall in the Caddie shouts, "[[NoIndoorVoice DID SOMEONE ORDER SOME FUCKING PRISON BREAK WITH A SIDE OF SHOTGUN?]]".
96	* InMediasRes: The plot tends to favor jumping between narrators (Dave, John, Amy and [[spoiler:Molly]]) over a completely chronological plot. [[spoiler:This later comes into effect as a reveal when the "Massacre at Ffirth Asylum" is unveiled ''to have already happened.'']]
97	* InvisibleToNormals: The spiders, which prompts the CDC to assume an airborne, flesh-eating disease is what's causing people to get torn apart. Even Frankie doesn't realize he has a spider crawling on him ''until it's crawling down his throat and burrowing into his skull.''
98	* IronicDeath: {{Lampshaded}} with [[spoiler:Dr. Tennet's death, as he is torn apart by one of his monsters. But then it turns out he meant for that to happen.]]
99	* KillItWithFire: When John and Dave realize that there's an entire nest of the spiders in Dave's bedroom, they decide the best course of action is to just burn the entire house down.
100	* LaResistance: OGZA, who are a collection of zombie-enthusiasts situated outside Undisclosed.
101	* {{Malaproper}}: John. A lot.
102	--> John said, "That'll be that, the lid will be off their whole charade"\.
103	It took me a moment to figure out what John had said because he pronounced it "sha-rod".
104	* TheManBehindTheMan: [[spoiler:Dr. Tennet, who, after a reveal that he's a villain, claims he's simply a pawn of "Them".]]
105	* ManChild: Amy's opinion of the college students that are set on killing zombies. Dr. Tennet calls John one (accurate), and acts as if Falconer is one as well, [[spoiler:though The Reveal that the very traits that led to Falconer seeming immature are fabricated makes it questionable how much of this scene is to be believed.]]
106	* {{Metaphorgotten}}: [[spoiler:Dr. Tennet]] uses a fast-food metaphor to explain everyone's role in things in Book 3. Naturally, everyone gets a little confused:
107	-->[Several pages after the metaphor]\
108	'''John''': Just so they can sue the burger place.\
109	'''Dave''': You're... several steps behind here.
110	* MonsterIsAMommy: [[spoiler:Carlos, who is revealed to be a perfectly sane monster/man trying to protect his harmless monster daughter, Anna. His murders are also justified as he can detect non-humans with greater ease than Dave, and only consumes infected people who evaded detection. It's implied that the spiders are sentient beings like Carlos trying to survive.]]
111	* NiceJobBreakingItHero:
112	** Burning down the house with the spider eggs in it is exactly the wrong thing to do. [[OnlySaneMan Falconer realizes this immediately]]. [[spoiler:Dr. Tennet]] points out during the third act how several of their attempts at saving the day actually made things worse in the long run.
113	--> '''John''': We didn't do any of it on purpose. We're just...not very good at things.
114	** Amy is just trying to get to her boyfriend, and she does try to rein them in, but talking Josh's group into actually doing to Undisclosed turns out...badly. Suffice to say that ''more'' heavily-armed people ready to shoot anybody who twitches funny is pretty much the last thing the place needs--still less so when those people have absolutely no real-world gun experience. (At least the locals forming an angry mob don't accidentally point their firearms at each others' heads).
115	* NiceJobFixingItVillain: [[spoiler: John and Dave are able to get to the furgun and stop the shadow people by using Amy's phantom hand, which is implied to have been caused by the shadow people.]]
116	* NoodleIncident: Invoked. The disclaimer before Molly's chapter states that any explanation for how the author acquired it would be less satisfying than what the reader could come up with themselves.
117	* NotThatKindOfDoctor: Dave is surprised to find out that Dr. Marconi has medical knowledge - he thought his doctorate was in "ghosts or something".
118	* NotUsingTheZWord: Inverted. Everyone immediately starts calling the infected "zombies," even though they're not. The government calls them Zulus, [[spoiler:specifically to encourage citizens to make the zombie connection and not question REPER's mass bombing of the town]].
119	* OnlyKnownByTheirNickname:
120	** [[spoiler:Molly's chapter reveals she only knows Dave as "Meatsmell", namely because she admires his ability to have constantly meat-scented breath.]]
121	** Although it's never mentioned in the sequel, David and John are still known only by their aliases.
122	* OurZombiesAreDifferent: Not long after the outbreak, people of the internet quickly [[MemeticMutation begin using the term "zombie"]] despite the fact that the outbreak is caused by a spider-like PuppeteerParasite that can mutate humans in many different ways.
123	* PainfulTransformation: When people "monster out", their anatomy typically distorts and twists until their limbs turn into weapons. Considering an infected Franky seemingly resists the parasite long enough to whisper something important to Dave, ''it's safe to assume the host is aware through the process.''
124	* PoorCommunicationKills:
125	** Thankfully nobody ''actually'' dies, but Amy (in a safe area) takes a picture of the news video of Dave's house burning on her cell phone and texts him. Dave sees the photo, thinks she's ''at his house'', and immediately heads back into the danger zone to rescue her.
126	** Repeated again when John believes that Dave has been killed and does not tell Amy. This leads to Amy becoming extremely frustrated when John is in no hurry to get back to the quarantine zone and rescue Dave--she doesn't know that John believes there isn't any more Dave to rescue--so she calls the CDC hotline on herself and then groups up with Josh and his wannabe-action-hero friends. This accidentally gets John kidnapped (when he goes to look for Amy, the goons grab him instead) and contributes to the asylum massacre (Amy's speech about how Josh is all talk seems fairly accurate, so he might well have ''stayed'' all talk if she hadn't shamed him into taking action).
127	* PortalNetwork: Dave and John use one consisting of doors that lead to other places to get around Undisclosed (and in and out past the quarantine). A dressing room and a portable toilet are shown.
128	* PottyEmergency: Amy can't bring herself to use the disgusting toilet during the long bus ride to Undisclosed, so she winds up holding it until her bladder nearly bursts.
129	* PuppeteerParasite: Name-dropped near the end.
130	* RaceAgainstTheClock: Each of the three books contains a countdown to an event:
131	** Book 1 starts [[spoiler:48 hours prior to outbreak]].
132	** Book 2 starts [[spoiler:8 days, 12 hours until the massacre at Ffirth Asylum]].
133	** Book 3 starts [[spoiler:12 hours until the aerial bombing of Undisclosed]]. This fits the trope best, because it's a scheduled event that people know about far enough in advance to actually RaceAgainstTheClock.
134	* RealityWarper: The furgun can make its wielder into one, but it's very difficult to control.
135	* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech:
136	** Daryl Lombard, Munch's father, claims to have given two separate, long-winded speeches to John about why John is a waste of flesh, then decides that if he ever sees John again, he'll gloat some more. This [[UnreliableNarrator didn't actually happen]].
137	** Amy gives an actual one to the zombie enthusiasts, telling them how woefully unprepared they actually are to face down a zombie menace. [[spoiler:She's right.]]
138	* RecklessGunUsage:
139	** John falls asleep holding a loaded shotgun in his lap. When he wakes up it's shifted so that it points right at his head.
140	** Amy notes that the Zombie enthusiasts keep pointing their guns at her and each other. Later, Josh points his gun-camera at his own face to deliver a message.
141	** John positions himself in front of an elevator with his shotgun trained on the doors, intending to blast a monster that might be attacking David. When the door opens, he's pointing the shotgun directly at David's face.
142	* RecurringCharacter: [[LivingShadow The Shadow People]] briefly reappear, as does [[spoiler:Dr. Marconi.]]
143	** One mention of Korrok, the BigBad of the previous book, is made.
144	* RetGone: The Shadow Men have the power to erase anything from existence so thoroughly that it will never even have existed at all. [[spoiler:That's how Amy lost her hand.]]
145	* ShootTheShaggyDog: Not the ending, thankfully, but [[spoiler:the sideplot with Amy hitching a ride with a bunch of zombie nerds hoping to kill some zeds as well as the sideplot of David helping to break out some of the friends he'd made during a memory blackout at the quarantine both end in the zombie nerds accidentally murdering the escapees in a panic, which draws the ''actual'' zombies to their location and murders them all.]]
146	* ShoutOut:
147	** To ''Series/{{Firefly}}'': When [=REPER=] bursts onto the scene, Amy thinks they said "Reavers," "like from ''Firefly''".
148	** ''Film/{{Aliens}}'', when the leader of the Hipster Zombie-Hunters says, "They're coming out of the goddamn walls!"
149	** John stops time and explains that it's like ''Series/SavedByTheBell'', apparently referring to Zach Morris's BreakingTheFourthWall moments.
150	* SideEffectsInclude: [[ParodiedTrope Parodied]] in [[http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/a-word-about-parasite-controlling-your-brain a promo]], which lists brain spiders cause side effects such as [[SchmuckBait "thinking all babies look the same" and "having dreams where all your teeth fall out".]]
151	* SlidingScaleOfComedyAndHorror: The previous book was fairly balanced, but here things slide far more towards the "Horror" end.
152	* SomethingOnlyTheyWouldSay: Anna is identified several times by the fact that she calls David "Walt".
153	* SyntheticPlague: [[spoiler:Implied with the spiders, the black suit REPER guards and the case with Carlos & Anna. Threatened by Dr. Tennet, who implies the defector Amy contacts can be injected with a disease that will turn him into a monstrous cannibal.]]
154	* TakeThat:
155	** It's an easy shot, but the way in which Daryl's post on Free Republic conveniently edits his encounter with John is almost identical to how a lot of outside observers figure that the regulars on that forum edit ''everything'' that happens to them.
156	** Survivalists and people with a fetish for the apocalypse are made targets, regardless of what their particular flavor is. The zombie apocalypse fanboys are a bunch of clueless geeks who [[RecklessGunUsage have no idea how to properly handle their weapons]], and in the end accomplish nothing more than [[spoiler: killing a bunch of innocent people before getting effortlessly massacred by the real monsters]]. The Free Republic guy likes to pose as a survivalist to his online buddies, but the encounter with him shows him as a posturing fake. The militias going around town trying to take care of the problem on their own probably did nothing but kill innocent people or each other, considering that they racked up a body count in the hundreds and [[spoiler:the infection was never bigger than about 70 people]]. And the bit where David sees what happens when the US Army takes on the monsters makes it pretty clear that the idea of the Army being overrun by zombies, or ordinary people succeeding in surviving and thriving against a threat that the Army's resources fail against is really pretty laughable.
157	* ThanatosGambit: Dr. Tennet [[spoiler:sacrifices himself to his own monsters to prompt the army into restarting their cleansing of Undisclosed]].
158	* ThisIsReality: Amy's rant at the hipsters, who seemingly relish being in a zombie apocalypse due to their obsession with zombie games and movies; Amy even later points out Josh is so unqualified to use a gun he has pointed his loaded weapon at her several times while talking. [[spoiler:Unsurprisingly, their carelessness and inexperience results in them accidentally murdering a whole group of innocents they mistook for zombies, then dying horribly when the actual monsters show up.]]
159	* TimeStandsStill: [[spoiler:When John takes the Soy Sauce again, he gains the ability to freeze time. However, he can't actually manipulate his frozen environment. This leads to some interesting moments, like when he climbs a column of smoke or cuts himself on an immovable moth suspended in midair.]]
160	* TraintopBattle: Falconer is implied at one point to have fought somebody on top of a moving train on at least one occasion. When asked about it, he only describes it as "windy". [[spoiler: This is likely part of David exaggerating Falconer into a badass.]]
161	* UndeadChild: Averted. The parasite responsible for the zombie outbreak is apparently unable to infect children. A wrench is thrown into things when John and Dave meet Anna, a little girl quarantined with the rest of them. [[spoiler:Sure enough, she's actually a monster.]] This is a significant departure from an earlier draft of the book, where the villains tried to take advantage of the psychological implications of this trope by making an elementary school the intended epicenter of the outbreak, which would have led to this memorable line:
162	-->'''John''': Remember, these are children. Aim low.
163	* UnpredictableResults: The "fur gun," which runs on the thoughts of the user, but the user has no idea how they'll manifest.
164	* UnreliableNarrator:
165	** An internet post from Daryl Lombard, Munch's survivalist father, claims that he gave a self-righteous and long-winded speech to John about why he didn't deserve to partake in Daryl's emergency supplies. The real confrontation, described earlier, didn't go down like that at all. Daryl's extreme embellishment of the event also casts doubts on his claims to having an encyclopedic knowledge of practical survival skills.
166	** In the end it's revealed that [[spoiler:Lance Falconer's entire characterization is made up at the insistence of the real man, who is apparently not nearly as cool. David lampshades it by claiming that Lance does a few humiliating things right after demanding that David not make him look stupid. Dave also indicates he's writing the craziest possible explanation of events, which casts much of the story into suspicion.]]
167	* WhamEpisode: Maybe don't be holding anything you'd mind dropping when [[spoiler: The Massacre At Ffirth Asylum]] finally happens.
168	* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: It's not stated what actually happens to [[spoiler:Carlos and Anna, but it's implied they're incinerated in the airstrike.]]
169	* WhatTheHellHero: After David [[spoiler:accidentally triggers the Massacre At Ffirth Asylum]], Owen puts him on impromptu trial and tears him down so thoroughly that even Dave himself can't give a reason for why he shouldn't be executed immediately.
170	-->'''Owen:''' And that means that as long as you're alive and walkin' around in here, the three hundred--[[spoiler:I'm sorry, the ''two hundred and seventy'']]--men and women in this quarantine are in danger. Is there anyone standing here, including you, Wong, who can make a convincing argument otherwise?
171	-->'''David:''' ... Nope.
172	* WhatMeasureIsANonHuman: Starts becoming a major theme in Book 3, especially when it's revealed that [[spoiler:there are many infected people that have remained almost entirely unchanged. They're basically just regular people with the possibility of "monstering out" in the future, much like David]].
173	-->'''John:''' Okay, can somebody quickly just summarize for the shotgun department who it's okay and not okay to shoot?
174	-->'''[[spoiler:Carlos]]:''' The world doesn't make it that simple for us, my friend.
175	* WouldBeRudeToSayGenocide: [[spoiler:Dr. Tennet, who is fine with nuking a city full of innocents to kill some infected. He justifies it because it's beyond his authority and probably for the best.]]
176	* WrongGenreSavvy: The zombie survivalist hipsters. Watching ''Franchise/ResidentEvil'' and ''Film/NightOfTheLivingDead1968'' thirty thousand times, unfortunately, doesn't translates to being an effective zombie slayer. [[spoiler:They kill a lot of innocent people and get killed by the monsters because they have no damn clue of how these monsters actually function, no idea of how to differentiate infected from non-infected, and StormingTheCastle doesn't works if you have no idea of where the castle actually ''is''.]]
177	* YankTheDogsChain: Several times. A notable example is in the penultimate chapter. [[spoiler:After Dave comes to terms with the fact that a sacrifice is necessary, he willingly lays down his life for Amy, ''only for Molly to do the same for him.'' Ouch.]]
178	* ZombieApocalypse: Discussed and thoroughly deconstructed. [[spoiler:The public is quick to jump onto the idea that a zombie apocalypse has occurred, and all sorts of people who have fantasized about it occurring spring into action. Some are geeky horror fans, like the people who try to help Amy, while others are self-important survivalists, like Munch's father Daryl.]]
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Context Literature / ThisBookIsFullOfSpidersSeriouslyDudeDontTouchIt