Line #50 Literature/TheIntercontinentalUnionOfDisgustingCharacters


1	In 1986, First Edition ''Advanced TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' was the only edition. And for an enterprising powergamer, its rules had loopholes big enough to drive a siege engine through.
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3	So what if a group of GenreSavvy characters decided to push all these loopholes to their limits?
4
5	They'd be sickeningly powerful. No ... they'd be ''disgustingly'' powerful.
6
7	Hence was born ''[[http://www.rogermwilcox.com/ADnD/IUDC1.html The Intercontinental Union of Disgusting Characters]]''.
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9	Written by [[Tropers/{{Tracer}} Roger M. Wilcox]], and distributed in those halcyon pre-Web days over Usenet, it gained a cult following that eventually led to being translated into [[https://web.archive.org/web/20120510174623/http://member.rpg.hu/cu/cuo21/undorito.htm Hungarian]]. ''[[http://www.date.hu/~kergiz/rpg/system/disghu.htm Twice]]''. The author wrote a sequel in 1988, ''[[http://www.rogermwilcox.com/ADnD/SickKids1.html The Sick Kids]]'', and began writing a second sequel in 2000 titled ''[[http://www.rogermwilcox.com/ADnD/IPDC1.html The Intercontinental Proliferation of Disgusting Characters]]'' (which was completed except for the Epilogue).
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11	----
12	!!This series of AD&D parodies contains examples of:
13
14	* AlliterativeName: Middle Monk, Dirk the Destructive, Sick Sword, Ludicrous Lance, Fantastic Falchion, Horrendous Halberd, Indescribable Ice Pick, Bletcherous Belaying Pin ...
15	* ArchEnemy: Several. Peter Perfect to Ringman, Omnion to Sick Sword, Gross Sword to his sisters, Tiamat to Ringman, the ''Dungeon Master'' to Ringman....
16	%%* ArcWords: Ringman's "I'm very glad to hear that."
17	* BigBad: Although Omnion is the Big Bad of the first story, and Gross Sword is the supposed Big Bad of the second story, the '''true''' Big Bad of the Multiverse is really the Dungeon Master.
18	* CatchPhrase: How many experience points do we get?
19	* BoltOfDivineRetribution: A "blue bolt from heaven" is an unmistakable sign of the Dungeon Master's wrath. (The specific phrasing is a quote from Creator/GaryGygax.)
20	* DeathIsCheap: Even cheaper than in AD&D proper. In the official AD&D rules, a character who dies can be raised from the dead by a living cleric. In this universe, a character who dies can be raised from the dead by any cleric, living or dead -- including ''himself.''
21	* {{Descriptiveville}}: The main city on Central Earth -- indeed the ''only'' city on Central Earth to be mentioned in any of the stories -- is named "Town." Just "Town."
22	* {{Determinator}}: Ringman. Even though he's just a run-of-the-mill 9th level paladin, he will never back down from standing for just causes - even when his enemies are geometrically more powerful than him.
23	* DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu: Bahamut, the lord high god of all good dragons, was held ''hostage'' as an InnocentBystander by Gross Sword in the first sequel.
24	** In the second sequel, Unbelievable Sword warns Tiamat, the lord high goddess of all evil dragons, to back off. When Tiamat doesn't, Unbelievable Sword reduces her to ash by ''flicking Tiamat with his finger''.
25	* DisneyDeath: The ending of ''The Intercontinental Proliferation of Disgusting Characters''.
26	* ADogNamedDog: Ringman's warhorse is named Warhorse.
27	* FanService: No posessions of any kind can travel with a character to the plane of Fordinchuarlikomfterrablaxxuuuuuchh'chh'chh-pt. Thus, when Sick Sword arrives, she's stark naked.
28	** She also gets her [[ClothingDamage clothes burned away]] by Smaugzilla before she hacks it to death.
29	* FantasyContraception: Why do you think AD&D has the ''ring of protection''?
30	* FirstLawOfResurrection: Even [[spoiler:Sick Sword]] and [[spoiler:Ringman]], who were killed by [[spoiler:having their souls annihilated on their alignment planes, which is supposed to erase someone from existence entirely]], can come back.
31	* FlatWorld: Central Earth really is flat. (If it were round, you'd fall off!)
32	* FluffyTheTerrible: In ''The Intercontinental Proliferation of Disgusting Characters'', Peter Perfect's paladin mount is an enormous undead dragon. He calls her "Fluffball."
33	* GetOut: Said to Ringman in ''The Sick Kids''. Hard.
34	* HitSoHardTheCalendarFeltIt: Events, birthdays, etc. are all reckoned in years before or after the IUDC.
35	* ICallItVera: With the exception of Prometheus and (snicker) Hymenslayer, every intelligent weapon seems to be named after its user: The Sick Sword, The Disgusting Dagger, The Ridiculous Hand Axe, The Gross (Broad)Sword, The Unbelievable Long Sword, etc..
36	* IceCreamKoan: Koenieg tends to spout these. He ''is'' a druid, after all.
37	-->Wierd Dough turned to the Great Druid. "Don't you see what they're doing?"
38	-->"All things must exist in balance," Koenieg replied.
39	-->"First torture and now a gang-bang!"
40	-->"The Way exists along the golden path," Koenieg continued.\
41	'This guy's more like [[Series/KungFu1972 David Carradine]] than I am,' Middle Monk thought.
42	* IdeaBulb: In chapter 7 of ''Proliferation'':
43	-->"Ohhhhh!" the little light spell over Ringman's head lit up.
44	* ImplausibleFencingPowers: Sick Sword, while locked in mortal combat with Omnion, gives Omnion ''corrective eye surgery'' with a few sword slashes.
45	* IncorruptiblePurePureness: Ringman, the wimpy 9th-level by-the-book paladin.
46	* InfinityPlusOneSword: In the never-finished epilogue, it's explained how the random magic item tables in the 3rd Edition ''TabletopGame/EpicLevelHandbook'' can allow a weapon or a piece of armor to keep increasing its plus without limit. Unbelievable Sword ''literally'' has a +infinity sword.
47	** He's also equipped a +infinity shield. Which raises the question: What do you need to roll to hit, when [[UnstoppableForceMeetsImmovableObject an attack with an infinite Attack Bonus is made against a target with an infinite Armor Class]]?
48	* InsaneTrollLogic: The worst cases of rules-lawyering in the story often rely on this.
49	* KnightTemplar: Peter Perfect can come up with the most twisted excuses imaginable to justify his actions as being LawfulGood[[invoked]].
50	* LetsSplitUpGang: Parodying ''Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}}'':
51	-->'''Wierd Dough:''' Great, they've split up.
52	-->'''Everybody else:''' Oh no! They can do more damage that way!
53	* MediumAwareness: All the characters are aware that their universe operates under AD&D rules, and have access to all the rule books.
54	* {{Munchkin}}: Every disgusting character. Every single one of them. If the author had heard the term "munchkin" at the time he wrote IUDC, he'd have used that word instead of "disgusting character".
55	* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: Gross Sword's basic reaction at the end of ''The Sick Kids''. Pity he needed to be reduced to 1 hit point first.
56	* NinjaPirateZombieRobot: Ridiculous Sword's +6 holy vorpal defender frost-brand flame-tongue sun luckblade of wounding, dancing, life stealing, disruption, slaying everything (as in the arrows of the same name), throwing, thunderbolts, red blue green black white brass & copper dragon slaying, speed, final word, and nine lives stealing with maximum intelligence, eight special purposes, and enough artifact powers to leave her set for life.
57	** In his original hybrid 1st/2nd Edition incarnation, Unbelievable Sword was an Assassin, Monk, Druid, Barbarian, Oriental Barbarian, Bushi, Fighter, Thief, Bard, Wu Jen, Thief-Acrobat, Sohei/Ninja, Cleric, Illusionist, Abjurer, Conjurer, Diviner, Enchanter, Necromancer, Transmuter, Invoker, Weapons Master (a fake class made up entirely for the IUDC stories), Yakuza, Ranger, Shukenja, Cavalier, Anti-Barbarian (identical to a Barbarian except lawful instead of chaotic), Kensai, Paladin, Samurai, and Magic-User.
58	* OvershadowedByAwesome: Ringman is 9th level, has 18/92 strength (equal to 22 strength in 3rd or 4th Edition), wears +5 plate mail (or +4 full plate, depending on which edition of the rules are in force at the time), carries a +4 shield, and wields a +5 Holy Avenger longsword. By most counts, he would be a very powerful paladin -- but he pales in comparison to the disgusting characters.
59	* PairTheSpares: At the end of the 2nd story.
60	* ParodyName: The main world is called Central Earth. It's like [[Franchise/TolkiensLegendarium Middle Earth]], but not.
61	* ProperlyParanoid: Unbelievable Sword, when he ticks off the Dungeon Master.
62	** In the pocket multiverse dungeon (3rd story, chapter 12), he worries about hidden traps with vorpal sword machine guns, rapid-fire ''sphere of annihilation'' cannons, or spring-loaded ''sword-of-sharpness''-firing ballistae.
63	* PsychicPowers: Both 1st and 2nd Edition AD&D rules allow a character to have psionic abilities without having to sacrifice any power in their normal character class(es). Thus, all disgusting characters have them.
64	* RebelliousSpirit: Danny. You're not the boss of ''him'', maaaaan!
65	* ReplacementGoldfish: At the end of the 2nd story, after [[spoiler: Sick Sword is KilledOffForReal, Ringman hooks up with Izabella.]]
66	* RPGMechanicsVerse: The whole reason for these stories to exist.
67	* RulesLawyer: Every loophole and unanticipated contingency in the AD&D rules is exploited.
68	** For example, when Ridiculous Sword hurtled toward the ground at nearly the speed of light, she took no damage when she landed -- because she happened to land next to a castle's outer wall. She had monk as one of her classes, you see, and monks in 1st Edition take no damage when falling within 8 feet of a wall. If she had pressed the point, she could have insisted that arrows and fireballs couldn't hurt her during the fall either, because the rule says a monk can fall "without taking damage" if (s)he falls within 8 feet of a wall.
69	** When a cube of frost is active, the space inside the cube is always 68 degees Fahrenheit, but the cube can only absorb so much cold damage before it fails. They can use this to walk through molten lava or even the interior of a sun unscathed.
70	** In 2nd Edition, the ''scarab of protection'' gives its posessor a saving throw against spells that normally allows no saving throw. In 1st Edition, though, this is phrased as a saving throw against ''magic'' that normally allows no saving throw. "Magic" could theoretically mean any magical effect hedged out by an anti-magic shell, including the powers of all magic items. You could get a saving throw against the decapitation effect of a vorpal sword, the slaying effect of an arrow of slaying, etc..
71	** The bad guys use the letter of the rules to undo Peter Perfect's death when they note that the spell that killed him could only do damage to targets "subject to normal attacks." When his bare skeleton hears that bit of information, it snaps up and his flesh grows back into place.
72	** The rule that a Wish needs to be described in a single sentence gets interpreted so that you can get any amount of things out of a single wish as long as you manage to list all of them in one sentence.
73	* RunningGag: "_____ hasn't been invented yet!"
74	* OrphanedSeries: ''Union'' was written entirely in 1986. ''Sick Kids'', in 1988. The author wrote the first page or two of ''Proliferation'' in 1989, then put it on the shelf until 2000 when he discovered the Hungarian translations of ''Union'' -- this inspired him to start working on ''Proliferation'' in earnest. He wrote all 12 chapters of ''Proliferation'', but has never ever managed to finish the Epilog in all that time. The Epilog now contains author's notes about what he intended to have happen.
75	* ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem: The Dungeon Master himself makes appearances in the two sequels. He's not a pleasant fellow.
76	%%* ShoutOut: Too many to count, so [[http://www.rogermwilcox.com/ADnD/References.html the author counted them for us]].
77	* ShownTheirWork: Several combats throughout the series show the ''to-hit'' calculations, for cryin' out loud.
78	* SpinOffspring: ''The Sick Kids'' stars, as its name implies, Sick Sword's kids.
79	* StatOVision: In Part 3 of ''The Sick Kids'', Ridiculous Sword pulls Jimmy's character sheet out of thin air and critiques him on his ability scores.
80	* SymbolSwearing: In part 3 of ''The Sick Kids'':
81	-->She thought about teleporting upward to give her more time to slow down, until she remembered that the $#@!ing rules didn't allow her to teleport anyplace where there wasn't a solid surface.
82	* TalkingWeapon: All intelligent weapons are this, and there are a lot of them. The Sick Sword has such a big ego that it only speaks in ALL CAPS.
83	* TheyCallHimSword: Sick Sword, Disgusting Sword, Ridiculous Sword, Gross Sword, Unbelievable Sword, Ludicrous Lance, Fantastic Falchion, Horrendous Halberd, [[WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}} Indescribable Ice Pick]], [[Franchise/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy Vastly Hugely Mindbogglingly]] Powerful Pike-Awl, Bletcherous Belaying Pin ...
84	%%* ThrowingYourSwordAlwaysWorks: Despite Ringman's numerous protestations that it won't.
85	* TheUnpronounceable: Fordinchuarlikomfterrablaxxuuuuuchh'chh'chh-pt.
86	* WorldOfBadass: In ''The Intercontinental Proliferation of Disgusting Characters'', the word has gotten out as to how all the Disgusting Characters got so disgusting so easily. [[EveryoneIsASuper Now, everybody and his brother is a Disgusting Character.]]
87	* WhyWontYouDie: The pocket-multiverse red dragon bellows this, being completely unable to harm Unbelievable Sword despite attacking all-out over and over again (while Unbelievable Sword ignores it to rant about something else).

Context Literature / TheIntercontinentalUnionOfDisgustingCharacters