Line #0 Literature/TheFourLoves


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/fourlovescslewis.png]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:In Greek There Are Four Words For Love]]
3	%%
4	->''"The only place outside {{Heaven}} where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is {{Hell}}."''
5
6	''The Four Loves'' is a nonfiction work by Creator/CSLewis analyzing [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin four types of love.]]
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8	* [[ThickerThanWater Storge]] (Affection/Family) - This is fondness through familiarity, especially among family members or people who have [[TrueCompanions otherwise found themselves together]] by chance.
9	* [[TrueCompanions Phi]][[PlatonicLifePartners leo]] (Friendship) - Friendship is a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity. This includes what Lewis calls companionship; that is gregariousness of the kind which is found in a GoodGuyBar or LocalHangout; as well as friendship proper which is between HeterosexualLifePartners, PlatonicLifePartners and the like but often starts as companionship.
10	* [[LoveInterest Eros]] (Romance) - This is love in the sense of 'being in love'. (This is distinct from sexual attraction.) This kind of love longs for the emotional connection with the other person. According to C.S. Lewis, sexuality is called "Venus." It can be part of "Eros," but on its own, it is not one of the loves, just desire (not to be confused with {{Lust}} which is this desire expressed in a sinful way ).
11	* [[UndyingLoyalty Agape]] (Unconditional Love) - This is the love that brings forth caring regardless of circumstance. The essence of ''agape'' love is self-sacrifice. It is also a decision, not fueled by pure emotions (theoretically).
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13	TropeNamer for TheFourLoves, obviously.
14
15	----
16	!!Provides examples of:
17
18	%% this might be Screwtape Letters - check later * AbileneParadox: Discussed as an example of "unselfishness".
19	* AFriendInNeed: A true friend will help and say ThinkNothingOfIt, not necessarily because the other friend would do the same for them, but because friend's troubles prevent them both from enjoying the friendship and both want that obstacle to be gone.
20	* AggressiveSubmissive: Lewis refutes the idea that the commonality of men being dominant and women being submissive in sex means anything about women being inherently more submissive in the rest of life, saying that the opposite is more often the case.
21	* AllTakeAndNoGive: Both unhealthy Taking and Giving are dealt with throughout the book.
22	* CommonalityConnection: The book defines this as the beginning, and, indeed, the foundation of friendship. Phileo is a bond that is built over a common interest (hobbies) or commitment (field of study, career or vocation).
23	--> ''“The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’”''
24	* CrustyCaretaker: Described as an unlikely person for children to have ''storge'' for. But, especially in case of ParentalNeglect, the old retainer is a familiar presence that gives security associated with ''storge''.
25	%% not this trope * DysfunctionJunction: What could be ''more'' natural than children to feel no love for an unloveable parent?
26	* EtTuBrute: Affection is so naturally jealous that any deviation from the ethos of home, whether falling below it or rising above it, often feels like a betrayal to the rest of the family.
27	* FeminineWomenCanCook: "Mrs. Fidget" (an example of self-serving generosity) always cooked for her family; even when they were happy with a cold meal.
28	* GreenEyedMonster: Both "eros" and "storge" makes claims on the beloved that fall within the bounds of proper ethical demands, but more often than not the possessive impulse is likely to go wrong.
29	* HoYay: [[DeconstructedTrope Deconstructed]] InUniverse; Lewis makes the point that those who perpetually see homosexuality in HeterosexualLifePartners have made the mistake of thinking that every close emotional bond between adults is sexual. After all, the whole point of the book is that there are different kinds of affection that must not be confused.
30	* IJustWantToHaveFriends: Lewis defies this trope by asserting that the mere desire to be one's friend cannot sustain a long-lasting friendship. True ''philia'' can only arise when there is a genuine CommonalityConnection between the friends.
31	* IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: This is the essence of ''agape'' and how it affects the other loves.
32	* JesusWasCrazy: Lewis makes the point that, from the world's perspective, UsefulNotes/{{Jesus}} ''was'' crazy.
33	-->''He was not at all like the psychologist’s picture of the integrated, balanced, adjusted, happily married, employed, popular citizen. You can’t really be very well 'adjusted' to your world if it says you 'have a devil' and ends by nailing you up naked to a stake of wood.''
34	* LikeBrotherAndSister: There are two archetypes of ''storge'': mother and child and siblings. But you can have ''storge'' with people who are not your blood relatives, and then you're sort of Like Brother And Sister.
35	* LoveHurts: All love. Even the love that doesn't go evil. There's no escape except in {{Heaven}} -- and {{Hell}}.
36	* LoveInterestVsLustInterest: Discussed:
37	** Eros is Romantic Love, and it, like Storge and Philia, has a negative side to it, whereas Agape was pure unconditional love. Eros, as Lewis points out, can be the most appreciative and pleasurable of all the loves, aside from Agape, but at the same time, can turn into lust, full of false idols, the worship of beauty over substance, and a needy or possessive desire derived from unwholesome and selfish feelings.
38	** Lewis also makes the point that sexual desire and eros-love are two distinct things: You can have eros without Venus (CourtlyLove) or Venus without Eros. He also points out that two people can be happily and faithfully married without possessing eros in the strict sense, fueling the relationship on Venus, fidelity to oaths once given, and eventually ''storge'' once they have grown used to each other.
39	* LoveMakesYouEvil: The earthly loves: ''storge'', ''philia'' and ''eros'' may turn sour if not infused with ''agape'': ''storge'' becomes [[MyBelovedSmother smothering, jealous possessiveness]], ''philia'' turns a group of TrueCompanions into a pretentious, snotty clique, and ''eros'' becomes DestructiveRomance or MasochismTango.
40	* LoyalAnimalCompanion: Love for anthropomorphized beings such as pets and [[CompanionCube dolls]] is treated under affection rather then love of the subhuman. %%Chapter 1, Likings and Loves for the Sub-Human
41	* MistakenForGay: HeterosexualLifePartners may cause insinuations of HoYay, but according to Lewis that's the fallacy of mistaking other kinds of love for ''Eros.'' (They're heterosexual, and platonic, after all.)
42	* MistakenForRomance: What happens when the other kinds of love are confused with ''eros''.
43	%% is it this trope? * NatureLover: Analyzed in the course of dealing with the subhuman before the human.
44	* NewFriendEnvy: When one of the siblings, who have storge, begins to grow up and have new interests and new philia-based relationships, the other sibling may turn into a GreenEyedMonster who sabotages it all in order not to get abandoned.
45	* MyCountryRightOrWrong: Strongly discouraged, though its lesser form "My Country Great or Humble" is admirable and should even be encouraged. %% Chapter 1, Likings and Loves for the Sub-Human, Lewis quotes Kipling "If England was what England seems/'ow quick we'd drop 'er. But she ain't!" as an example of conditional patriotism that Lewis doesn't consider to be love at all
46	* PatrioticFervor: Analyzed along with nature love as one of the most notable loves of the subhuman. Lewis describes five forms, in descending order from the very good to the very bad to a form sunk so low that it isn't even a love anymore. %% Chapter 1, Likings and Loves for the Sub-Human
47	* SafeSaneAndConsensual: Mentioned in the chapter on eros, rather vaguely.
48	--> This act can invite the man to an extreme, though short-lived, masterfulness, to the dominance of a conqueror or a captor, and the woman to a correspondingly extreme abjection and surrender. Hence the roughness, even fierceness, of some erotic play; the “lover’s pinch which hurts and is desired”.
49	* TextileWorkIsFeminine: Mrs. Fidget made things for her family out of a need to be "sacrificial."
50	* TragicBromance: Discussed briefly, in that if someone in a group of close friends dies, that death not only removes that person, but everything brought out by that person's presence in others.
51	* TricksterGirlfriend: Discussed at length in the chapter dedicated to Eros. The author metaphorically describes Venus as a [[TricksterGod Trickster Goddess]] who plays jokes on humans, and notes that "lovers are always laughing at each other".
52	* TrueCompanions: ''Philia'', sooner or later also ''storge'', as the friends have been friends for a long time.

Context Literature / TheFourLoves