Line #38 JustForFun/IfIBecomeASuperhero


1	Did one of the suggestions on JustForFun/HowToGiveACharacterSuperpowers work out or perhaps you want to know ''Literature/HowToBeASuperhero''?
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3	See also JustForFun/SoYouAreATeenagerWithSuperpowers or ThingsIWillDoIfIAmEverTheHero.
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6	* If I am a member of an advanced alien race[=/=]interstellar guardian unit and we have just defeated a great threat to the universe, I will suggest that we ''don't'' bind it into stasis and lock it within the depths of the Earth. It never, ''ever'' stays that way. I will suggest that we just jettison it at the nearest black hole instead. Before doing so, however, I will also make sure to check for any known ways the threat may escape from ''there''; if the black hole is just a NegativeSpaceWedgie some inter-dimensional device can reopen, tossing the threat in there just makes it SealedEvilInACan that ''will'' be unsealed at some point. Black holes and other such seemingly indestructible holding places are only worth considering if we can't simply find some way to annihilate the threat altogether. If we're forced to resort to the black hole, we'll also have a beacon in orbit around it to monitor it and transmit a general warning to passersby to keep their distance.
7	* [[NarratingTheObvious I will stick to heroics and try not to dabble in play-by-play commentary.]] If the GiantEnemyCrab is squeezing me in its mighty pincers or Dr. Nefarious Q. Evilguy has me helplessly trapped in an AgonyBeam, I can trust that my readers have the basic intelligence required to infer that this is happening to me based on what they can plainly see, and therefore I don't need to loudly announce it to them. If for whatever reason there is any confusion as to what's going on, those little colored text boxes near the margin can usually clear it up just fine.
8	* I will ''not'' explain how my powers work to everyone everywhere I go. Such explanations will be dealt out on a strictly need-to-know basis (such as to doctors trying to heal me in the event that I get injured). Villains ''never'' need to know these things, and I need every advantage over them I can get, including the [[IAmNotLeftHanded element of surprise]]. If the readers need to know these things, they can find out about them in various bonus materials at the end of the comic or in official guides.
9	** Conversely, ''all'' of the people I'm protecting need to know as much about my enemies' powers and capabilities as I can tell them. As such, I will not keep any counter-measures against my enemies to myself. If I develop an antidote to any specialized toxin one of my RoguesGallery uses on victims, if I discover a [[AttackItsWeakPoint particular vulnerability in an otherwise invincible villain]], or if I work out any means of nullifying my enemy's powers, I will immediately share this information with law enforcement agencies and other superheroes.
10	** However, I will be careful in doing so-if word of this antidote or vulnerability gets back to them, they may take steps to nullify my advantage, thus rendering my information useless at best.
11	* I will seriously consider doing ''all'' my superheroic work on the sly. Sure, wearing a garish costume might be good for my publicity, but being a celebrity makes me a target for every StalkerWithACrush and other kind of troublemaker. Who needs all that misery when I can just go around neutralizing bad people in my civilian clothes? Depending on what powers I have, the villains might ''never'' be able to find out that I'm the reason why their plans keep experiencing unexpected failures.
12	* Unless I'm already weathy, any AppliedPhlebotinum the villains and their {{Mooks}} drop in a fight is forfeit to me, as are their wallets and any expensive and/or useful weapons I can take from them when they're either unconscious or dead. ComicBook/DamageControl and ComicBook/ThePunisher aren't the only ones who know how to use this stuff, and even squeaky-clean guys like ComicBook/SpiderMan have bills to pay. Also, even if I ''am'' rich, there's no reason to let the bad guys have their specialized gear and any technological sources for their superpowers back.
13	** Also, even if any of this AppliedPhlebotinum ''seems'' to have no moral use, I will not discard it without studying it thoroughly to determine whether it could be put to beneficial uses, and/or if there is a way to power it that ''doesn't'' require [[PoweredByAForsakenChild something horrible]]. If nothing else, having e.g. a villain's specialized toxin makes developing counter-measures to it (such as an antidote) easier.
14	** I will also keep this AppliedPhlebotinum in a very safe, secret place. I will ''not'' leave it lying around in my workshop or my SuperheroTrophyShelf.
15	* I will ''not'' subscribe to ThouShaltNotKill. Though I will generally adhere to the local laws concerning when homicide is and is not justified, and won't go around killing every enemy that I fight, for the absolute worst-of-the-worst villains for whom turning them in to the authorities is simply ''not enough'' for them, there is no virtue in keeping them alive to escape and kill over and over and over again.
16	** Alternatively, if I ''do'' subscribe to it, I'll totally make sure that really evil guys are put to death by death sentence ASAP or locked in HIGHLY effective prisons, not in some [[CardboardPrison Arkham Asylum]] crap.
17	** If any villain has JokerImmunity, no amount of deadly force against said villain can be considered overkill; neither can [[MoreDakka spraying the corpse with bullets]], [[KillItWithFire burning it to a crisp]], and [[DeaderThanDead scattering the ashes into the stratosphere]] to ensure that they can't be reassembled for some hokey BlackMagic resurrection ceremony.
18	* If I have [[DoesNotLikeGuns an aversion to using or even handling guns]], I will see a therapist to help me get over this irrational fear, and if my power set obviates the need for such weaponry, I'll bear in mind that the good citizens I've sworn to protect don't have access to the same incredible abilities I wield, and that no matter how fast I can go, I can't be everywhere at once. Guns are ''good''; every superhero should be comfortable working with an armed citizenry that can take care of the low-level criminals, because it makes it easier for us to go after the major threats. Also, if I discover any of my own archenemies are ''not'' ImmuneToBullets, I'll immediately alert the police, National Guard, and the good citizens alike to this particular vulnerability.
19	** However, if I really do intend to stick to ThouShaltNotKill, I must take into account that it's very difficult ''not'' to kill someone with a gun, and so I'll have to keep in mind that if I personally am wielding a gun, I should be ready to take a life; even BlastingItOutOfTheirHands can still go horribly wrong.
20	* As a corollary to all three of the above, should I ever come across [[ComicBook/ThePunisher Frank Castle]] or anyone like him preparing to execute my sworn nemesis or any other such extreme threat to myself and others, I'll save the namby-pamby do-gooder lecture about how superheroes shouldn't kill for ''after'' he's blown my enemy's head off. A dangerous villain is permanently neutralized, and I get to keep my hands clean; Win-win, baby!
21	* If my arch-nemesis succeeds in kidnapping and brainwashing my sidekick, I will make sure after rescuing them to set off a small electromagnetic pulse near him to clear out any lingering mind-control technology before sending him to therapy to be deprogrammed. I don't want [[WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker what happened to Tim Drake]] to happen in my world.
22	* Between jobs, there is no harm in invoking MundaneUtility. I need to keep my powers and skills relatively sharp; what better way than test runs on ordinary (private) everyday applications?
23	* If my enemy is kind enough to start monologuing, I will [[KilledMidSentence just take them out]] [[CombatPragmatist then and there]]. It's their fault for being stupid enough to do so.
24	** However, if I am imprisoned while they are doing this, I will pay close attention so as to discover the full extent of their plans. ''Then'' I will take them out.
25	** Or follow [[Recap/JusticeLeagueS1E8And9InjusticeForAll Batman's example]] and manipulate the villain's cohorts into disrupting the villain's plans until one of them gives me the break I need to call in the rest of the SuperTeam. But only if I actually have the SuperIntelligence and cunning for that sort of thing.
26	* I will always carry a few basic supplies around with me. While a Batman-esque utility belt is a bit of a giveaway, there's no reason I can't carry a hairpin, Band-Aids, a Swiss Army Knife, and maybe a few other items with me at all times, [[CrazyPrepared so that I'm not caught completely unprepared when crises happen]].
27	* I will learn ''at least'' basic self-defence skills, or preferably learn to become a competent hand-to-hand fighter. This will complement my powers, and if they are ever stolen, nullified or otherwise rendered useless, at least I won't be helpless. This is especially important if my powers come from some item or other external source of power that my enemies can take away.
28	* Related to the above, I will not allow my powers to come from some item, my setting's magic, or other external source of power that my enemies can take away. Or I will [[Franchise/{{Kirby}} inhale the item to absorb its powers.]]
29	** If I muse use an external source of power, I will obfuscate where my power comes from to the best of my ability so that it's not obvious. If it is an item too large to be inhaled, I will keep it hidden or disguised on my person at all times.
30	* I will allow {{God}} to bless me with powers. He knows which ones are best for me, will ensure that they will always save the day when needed, cannot be depowered, and is bigger than all evil.
31	* No matter how awesome my powers are, there will almost certainly be intelligent supervillains looking to defeat me. Therefore, I will practice different applications of my powers and ensure that I have multiple ways to use it. If necessary, I will take a course on a subject relating to my powers.
32	** I will not limit myself to ONLY subjects relating to my powers. I will expand my knowledge to include several subjects that have nothing to do with my powers. Every single one of them is a potential weakness or villain I'll have to contend with someday.
33	** Related to the above, I will not use the same attack every single time I fight someone. It only encourages potential enemies to find a counter.
34	* I will befriend an AntiHero. No matter how repulsive his reputation is to others, he won't have any reservations about dealing with the worst of the worst. And since he's almost certainly going to be put on trial for his actions, I will make sure to testify on his behalf in my civilian identity.
35	* If I do fail and my supervillain is about to kill me, I might as well accept it and FaceDeathWithDignity. [[DeathIsCheap It's only going to stick for a few years.]]
36	** Alternatively, depending on my characterization, being DefiantToTheEnd might work better.
37	* If I'm a {{Sizeshifter}} capable of [[AttackOfThe50FootWhatever growing myself to giant size]], I will not use it to attack somebody whose powers let them defy, manipulate, or ignore the laws of physics as they apply to large, heavy objects.
38	* If my opponent's just been crushed or had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. [[NighInvulnerability The other guy's fine.]] Give him a few seconds, and he'll be [[SuperStrength lifting that weight off of himself]] and resuming the fight, no worse for wear. I will use that time to plot my next move.
39	* If I'm a superheroine that hasn't been given the MostCommonSuperpower, I will have my costume's bust padded out to D-cups. It's only a matter of time before an opponent decides to [[BreastAttack take a cheap shot at my boobs during a fight]], and fake breasts can be made to absorb punches and deflect bullets.
40	** Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my civilian SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
41	* My costume will be insulated against electricity, so that I can't be taken out of a fight by some jackass with a taser.
42	** If I'm [[WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyond inheriting the mantle of a superhero known for utilizing an array of advanced weapons and gadgets,]] I will ask up-front of the ultra-advanced super suit that comes with the mantle is rated to withstand being struck by lightning multiple times. If it isn't, I'll ask that it be made so before I end up being struck by lightning multiple times while wearing it.
43	* If there's a villain in my rogues gallery that REALLY likes his personal motif, I will start my investigation with him if there's a sudden rash of burglaries involving that motif.
44	** If I catch up to one of these villains and they act confused and swear [[NotMeTHisTime this isn't their doing]], I will give them the benefit of the doubt and assume he's not responsible...but keep him close enough to keep an eye on him at all times while I pursue other leads.
45	** If he ''is'' the one responsible, he will wait until my back is turned and try to reveal this fact right before sucker-punching me. I will get really good at the OffhandBackhand to counter this attempt.
46	* If I'm a BarrierWarrior, I will not just stand there letting the opponent punch through my forcefield. If my forcefield can absorb blows from the FlyingBrick, then I can hit the FlyingBrick hard enough with it to knock him on his ass.
47	** If the BarrierWarrior does project a forcefield to block an opponent, it's a sure bet that the enemy will focus on trying to smash it down. I will use the diversion to get behind him and ready as many shots to his KryptoniteFactor as I can get away with.
48	** As a BarrierWarrior, I will be smart about ''how'' exactly I'm blocking enemy attacks. I will keep in mind that tank armor is not only thick, but also angled to deflect attacks instead of taking them head on. Similarly, no matter how strong my BeehiveBarrier is, I'll get more more mileage out of it by angling it so attacks just slide off instead of cracking it.
49	* Even if I am incredibly durable, I will not stand around and absorb bullets all the time (unless I am absolutely, 100% sure that they're only ordinary bullets). Sooner or later, someone will come up with some kind of projectile/energy weapon that will nullify my powers, and I'll look really stupid if I just let them shoot me with it.
50	* I will make sure to taunt my opponents; an angry enemy is a distracted and usually less dangerous one. However, I will refrain from taunting in certain cases, such as if they are disciplined enough to focus their anger or if they draw power from rage.

Context JustForFun / IfIBecomeASuperhero