Line #26 Headscratchers/Oglaf


1	* How is Ivan [[http://www.oglaf.com/immaculate-city/2/ still a virgin]]? Even if [[http://www.oglaf.com/cockhunt/4/ blowjobs don't count]], there are still the incidents in [[http://www.oglaf.com/booklove/3/ Book of Love]] and [[http://www.oglaf.com/8legs/ 8 Legs of Love]].
2	** One is a BOOK, not another person or living thing, and the spider is giving him a blowjob, so it doesn't count either.
3	*** A magic moving, flying, vagina-having book. I'd say a masturbatory aid with a mind of its own is kinda blurring the lines...
4	*** The key words are "masturbatory aid". It's not sex if it's masturbation. If a blowjob doesn't count as sex, then neither does a vagina inside a book.
5	** He didn't exactly finish up in either of those cases.
6	** In any case, he still hasn't had sex with another person, which makes him a virgin.
7	*** He did say that he's always having sex done to him, so possibly there's an element of consent involved in the definition of virginity. The closest thing he's ever had to actual sex with a sentient creature is the giant spider, which was done repeatedly in his sleep and without his consent.
8	* If blow jobs don't count, shouldn't the [[LadyLand many, many]] lesbians from the castle be regular sights in the spires?
9	** They're not really lesbians. Apparently. (Also, I think finger penetration counts.)
10	* Someone please clear this up for me: I don't quite get the first few events in [[http://oglaf.com/potion-girlfriend/1/ Potion]] [[http://oglaf.com/potion-girlfriend/2/ of]] [[http://oglaf.com/potion-girlfriend/3/ Girlfriend]]. So the warriors found the trail that the Cumsprite made, that much is clear. But what did the chick mean when she mentioned "The Signal", and why did she suddenly decide/realize that Anal counted? Everything after that I think I understand, though.
11	** I think the implication (from [[http://www.oglaf.com/high-noon/ High Noon]]) was that she has been abducting virgins from this city for some time now, having taken twenty-four men already, and bringing them to her friends. When she told Ivan she would fuck him after he woke up (in [[http://www.oglaf.com/nightfall/1/ Nightfall]]), she might have been saying that just to frighten him (note how scared the locals are of that prospect.) It is only after he reveals that he is "the slut" from the posters that she seems to become genuinely enthused by the idea, rather than more dangerous and threatening. I am guessing that she is interested in protecting her vaginal virginity so she can keep getting into the city and abducting virgins (I presume that the rest of her friends are not virgins.) I do not know how Ivan knows anal does not count (if indeed it does not) as he might have been filled in by the ambassador when he discussed finding the city (in [[http://www.oglaf.com/immaculate-city/ The Immaculate City]]) or he was just [[DistractedByTheSexy so consumed with lust by that point]] that he was willing to say whatever. As for the signal, there is obviously [[AWizardDidIt some kind of magic going on here]]. I suspect that the fireplace coming alight is the sign to her that says "We are preparing to teleport you and the victim out, be ready."
12	*** Ah, okay! I had forgotten about High Noon. Still, I'm not sure Ivan was teleported out... I figured that screwing Felicia in his ''Potion of Girlfriend'' induced hallucination might have revoked his virginity and thus he got automatically booted out of the city... but then again, maybe not -- you don't lose your V-card from wet dreams.
13	*** My impression is that the Immaculate City's enchantment is really more concerned with whether you ''believe'' yourself to be a virgin than with what you've actually done - it's a mental, not a physical state. Within the borders of the city, reality is fundementally different for virgins and non-virgins; virgins can see and interact with the city, while non-virgins can access only the empty field. While under the influence of the Potion of Girlfriend, Ivan honestly believed that Felicia was real and that he'd had sex with her, and so was not able to access the city. Once he started to throw off the potion, he started to disappear - the mystical quality of his virginity was reasserting itself, and he was being shunted back into the "virgin" version of reality.
14	*** Hmm, I had not considered that the ''Potion of Girlfriend'' might have been what caused that effect. The kidnapper might have been spashing some of that on the virgins she abducts to get them out of the city, which fulfills her "I'm going to fuck you" statement from earlier without taking away her own virginity (and thus losing access to the city) in the process. She might just have snuck off away from the guards on her own. Thanks for clearing that up! :)
15	*** I took the signal to be a lantern outside the window, which the guards unknowingly give.
16	** It seems the in-universe of 'virgin' is 'penis went in,' regardless of whether it gets further than that. Navaan the vampire was booted from the city after maybe a full second, and Ivan is still erect after he "loses his virginity" to Felicia.
17	*** No she wasn't. The "curse was lifted", thus the city stopped existing(maybe some djinn cursed them in exchange for a kind of immortality, and the only way to break it was for someone not from the city to willingly give up their virginity to someone in the city).
18	** As for her sudden realization that anal counts: it's not that she actually makes a decision or realization, it's that she sees the guards, judges it to be an trap, and assumes that his claim that anal doesn't count was part of that trap.
19	** It wasn't Cumsprite trail, it was the blood of the monster.
20	* What's going on in the second strip of [[http://oglaf.com/capital/2/ "A Capital Punishment"]]? There's some kind of sex torture involved but I can't figure out what.
21	** I think that the blue glow (coming out of the shackle and Mistress's phaluses) represents a freezing spell. And that the shackle is too tight.
22	** No, I think they're magically linked. What's going to happen is that Mistress is going to rape him with the strap-on, and that will make him feel the sensation in his penis--so, essentially, he will feel like he's [[ScrewYourself raping himself]].
23	** NoodleImplements.
24	* What the heck has been on with the latest story arc. That brown chick is now addicted to sex and kidnapping monks and posing as a doctor or something? And there's immortals involved and sunlight is bad? I have no idea what's going on.
25	** Tip: She's a vampire.
26	** As for being "addicted to sex", she seems to be trying to replicate the Ivan's Cumsprites (which she has no idea is a magical effect, and at first assumed was a common result of blowjobs), seeing how she always gives out blowjobs, and in one occasion we've seen her spit the sperm, and look [[http://oglaf.com/markfunpire/3/ rather disappointed at it]]. No idea how the use of the fake deaths in that room would fit into her "quest", though.
27	** Maybe she's still hoping to find out what "flang" is.
28	** To summarize the story arc: Navaan, the vampire (the brown chick), poses as the doctor of a bunch of idiotic monks. She does it in order to drink the monks' blood, but not really to harm them. A demon, however, called the "Funpire", terrorizes the monks. Morag the Immortal tries to fight it, but she loses. As more monks turn up dead, Greir automatically suspects Navaan, the doctor, to be the murderer, but she soon finds a spy and tortures him to figure out where the Funpire is.
29	*** Once Greir has tortured the spy and left, Morag the Immortal (or, at least, her head) hops over to inform Navaan about the Funpire. Navaan then (humorously) seduces the spy for more information, and figures out that the followers of the Funpire gave Greir the wrong information to kill the Funpire, and that the Funpire could only be killed using a fake sword. Greir is kidnapped and nearly put to death, but Navaan arrives at the last minute and kills the demon. The duo then burn the city down.
30	* I don't understand [[http://oglaf.com/afterglower/ Afterglower.]] (NSFW) Could someone please explain it to me.
31	** In the comic, the smug partner is described as self-absorbed and bad in bed. This is a good if partial description of the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect Dunning-Kruger effect]], described at Website/TheOtherWiki. Basically, the smug partner is so bad in bed he is actually incapable of understanding just how bad he is.
32	** Not to mention, he was too self-absorbed to notice his partner wasn't a woman.
33	** There isn't really anything about it to understand.
34	* I'm almost afraid to ask, but what, precisely, is a [[http://oglaf.com/overbite/ fucksmith]]?
35	** Where else would you find fucks to give?
36	** It's since been revealed that he crafts sexual fantasies.
37	* So is Sithrak dead or what? He apparently made Morag and several others immortal before dying, but his missionaries don't seem to have heard.
38	** Why the fuck do you think he would have to be dead to have done that? ''You'' are the Headscratcher here.
39	** Sithrak's been referred to as dead since his introduction. However, considering that he is an actual deity, that may not mean as much as you think.
40	* Not quite a Headscratchers, but what happened to the main plot? It looked like we were building up to a cohesive multi-part story, and now the comic has gone back to one-off gags--it's a bit frustrating.
41	** The author felt like doing lots of gags.
42	** Ivan... sniff

Context Headscratchers / Oglaf