| 1 | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows Main]]\ |
| 2 | Pop Song Reviews ( [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsFromTheVaults Pre-TGWTG]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2010Episodes 2010]] | '''2011''' | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2012Episodes 2012]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2013Episodes 2013]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2014Episodes 2014]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2015Episodes 2015]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2016Episodes 2016]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2017Episodes 2017]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2018Episodes 2018]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2019Episodes 2019]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2020Episodes 2020]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2021Episodes 2021]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2022Episodes 2022]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2023Episodes 2023]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadows2024Episodes 2024]] )\ |
| 3 | One Hit Wonderland ( [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2012 2012]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2013 2013]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2014 2014]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2015 2015]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2016 2016]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2017 2017]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2018 2018]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2019 2019]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2020 2020]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2021 2021]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2022 2022]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2023 2023]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsOneHitWonderland2024 2024]] )\ |
| 4 | Trainwreckords ( [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsTrainwreckords2017 2017]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsTrainwreckords2018 2018]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsTrainwreckords2019 2019]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsTrainwreckords2020 2020]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsTrainwreckords2021 2021]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsTrainwreckords2022 2022]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsTrainwreckords2023 2023]] | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsTrainwreckords2024 2024]] )\ |
| 5 | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsCinemadonna Cinemadonna]]\ |
| 6 | [[Funny/ToddInTheShadowsSpecials Specials]] |
| 7 | |
| 8 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 9 | |
| 10 | [[folder:The Top 6 Worst Songs of 2010 (I Didn't Already Review)]] |
| 11 | * Regarding his pick for the fifth worst song, In My Head: |
| 12 | -->'''Todd:''' Now, here's a weird little thing. I actually liked this song the first time I heard it. R&B song driven by actual guitar--awesome. Nice, catchy melody--great. Song by J.R. Rotem, not built around a horribly used sample--wonderful. I was totally on board with this song. Three months later, I could not stand it. Not even a little. What was it that I could not longer take? Who do I blame for the fact that this song soured on me so quickly?\ |
| 13 | '''Jason Derulo:''' ♪[[PokemonSpeak Jason Derulo!]]♪ |
| 14 | ** "If you ''really'' want to impress girls, end every line with a confused yelp", and the imitation of Derulo's yelping that follows. |
| 15 | * "I'm sure lots of things would happen if you had it your way. But you don't, 'cause you're tools, and you're ugly." |
| 16 | * "Man, Nelly's new break-up song is a real TearJerker. My heart just breaks every time he goes '''UHN UHN UHN HEY!'''" |
| 17 | * |
| 18 | -->'''Todd:''' Look at [[Creator/AdamLevine that guy]]. Ugh, someone please run over him with a car."\ |
| 19 | ''[a car hits him]''\ |
| 20 | '''Todd:''' Thank you. |
| 21 | * "I couldn't do it. If I had tried to do a full review of this song, it would have been nothing but me screaming like Film/RainMan near a hot bath." |
| 22 | [[/folder]] |
| 23 | |
| 24 | [[folder:The Top 10 Best Songs of 2010]] |
| 25 | * "When I say the same thing every single time, I say YOUDA, YOUDA BEST, YOUDA YOUDA BEST." |
| 26 | * On Drake: "But when he does it right... [[EvenTheGuysWantHim OH GOD HE'S SO DREAMY!]]" |
| 27 | * |
| 28 | -->'''Todd:''' Ah, Jay-Z. You just gotta respect a guy who's out there still putting out real music at a point in his career where most any of [[Music/IceCube his peers]] would've stop caring and starting doing crappy family movies. And it's not hard to see why he's still this big. The man is one of the lyrically dexterous and creatively articulate wordsmiths in hip-hop. |
| 29 | -->'''Jay-Z:''' ♪Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah♪\ |
| 30 | '''Todd:''' Right. |
| 31 | * [[SelfDeprecation "I'm a pig."]] |
| 32 | * Todd providing "Deep Lyrical Analysis" to club jam "DJ Got Us Falling in Love" as the ''Masterpiece Theater'' theme music plays. |
| 33 | * And then finishing that analysis with: |
| 34 | -->'''Todd:''' ...Oh, and [[AWildRapperAppears THAT IDIOT, PITBULL IS ON THI--]]!\ |
| 35 | '''Pitbull:''' ♪My life is a movie and you just [=TiVo=]'d! HEH!♪\ |
| 36 | '''Todd:''' HEH! I don't get it.\ |
| 37 | '''Pitbull:''' ♪She don't wrestle but I got her in a headlock♪\ |
| 38 | '''Todd:''' WHAT?!?!?!\ |
| 39 | '''Pitbull:''' ♪[[CallBack Yabba dabba doo, make her bed rock!]]♪\ |
| 40 | '''Todd:''' Oh my God, you suck so hard, Pitbull. |
| 41 | * Todd breaking down, crying and calling Lupa and telling her how he really feels. [[SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments It'd be sweet and nice...]]if [[PhoneyCall he didn't accidentally call LordKat instead.]] |
| 42 | * Todd's attempts to serenade Lupa with lyrics from "Nothing On You" by B.O.B. ft. Bruno Mars, but he ends up reciting the chorus from [[CallBack Carry Out]] by accident. |
| 43 | * "Oh, Trey Songz... how are you even a real person?" |
| 44 | * His twenty second repetition of "I'm sorry" for putting [[Music/KatyPerry "California Gurls"]] on the list at #2. |
| 45 | ** What makes it better is that he did nothing but point out problems with the song in his Worst Songs list and even earlier in this video. |
| 46 | [[/folder]] |
| 47 | |
| 48 | [[folder:Black Eyed Peas - "The Time (Dirty Bit)"]] |
| 49 | * Todd on ''Film/DirtyDancing'': |
| 50 | -->'''Todd:''' ''Dirty Dancing'' is so tame and lame, people tend to forget that it's not really a dance movie as much as a story about an experienced ladies' man taking a teenage girl's virginity. I mean, seriously. Could you even imagine [[TemptingFate a less sexy, less exciting movie about an older man seducing a high school girl?]] |
| 51 | -->''([[AnswerCut cut to]] a scene from ''[[Literature/Twilight2005 Twilight]]'')'' |
| 52 | -->'''Bella:''' How old are you? |
| 53 | -->'''Edward:''' I'm 17. |
| 54 | -->'''Bella:''' How long have you been 17? |
| 55 | -->'''Edward:''' A while. |
| 56 | -->''(cut back to Todd)'' |
| 57 | -->'''Todd:''' [[TakeThat Hmm. Point taken.]] |
| 58 | * Todd comparing the robotic beats to in the song to a song actually performed by robots ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5bYDhZBFLA "Satisfaction" by Benny Benassi]]), and noticing what looks like a TakeThat in the video: |
| 59 | -->'''Todd:''' This is ''awful''. How in the world was this allowed to happen? ''Someone'' must have realized this sounded like digital vomit. ''[a woman in the music video vomits out a stream of pixels]'' Oh. Looks like the video director did. [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike Nice subtle commentary there]], Mr. Director, well played. |
| 60 | * The gun from "Imma Be" returns. |
| 61 | -->'''will.i.am''': ♪I don't wanna take no pictures, I just wanna take some shots♪\ |
| 62 | '''Todd:''' ''[cocks gun]'' That can be arranged. |
| 63 | * Todd compares will.i.am to sounding like a frog. |
| 64 | -->'''Todd:''' ''[in the style of a Spin-n-Say]'' The frog says...\ |
| 65 | '''will.i.am:'''♪Dirty bit!♪ ''[which does, indeed, sound like a frog ribbeting]''\ |
| 66 | '''Todd:''' Okay, we've already heard Music/WillIAm and Music/{{Fergie}}, but there are still two other guys. Well, one guy, actually. I mean, Taboo isn't even on this song at all; I'm not even sure he's still part of the band. Maybe they fired him and didn't have the guts to tell him. |
| 67 | ** To hammer the point home, the last frame before the credits has a picture of a frog as will.i.am says "Dirty Bit". |
| 68 | * A game of "Finish the rhyme!" leads from him trying to figure out this rhyme: |
| 69 | -->'''apl.de.ap''': ♪We ain't messin' with no maggots / Messin' with the _______♪\ |
| 70 | '''Todd:''' [[CurseCutShort Fa...]] Um...um...\ |
| 71 | '''apl.de.ap''': ♪We ain't messin' with no maggots / Messin' with the _______♪\ |
| 72 | '''Todd:''' That...that can't...I pass. I pass.\ |
| 73 | '''apl.de.ap''': ♪We ain't messing with no maggots / Messin' with the BADDEST♪\ |
| 74 | '''Todd:''' [[EnragedByIdiocy OH, COME ON!]]\ |
| 75 | '''apl.de.ap''': ♪Haters better step back / Ladies download your app / I'm the party application / Rock it just like that♪\ |
| 76 | '''Todd:''' *sigh* Get it? Cause he's apl.de.ap. Need an obnoxious jackass shouting nonsense at you? [[Memes/{{Advertising}} There's an app for that.]] |
| 77 | * The references to Music/DeLaSoul's "Me, Myself and I" and Kris Kross's "Jump". |
| 78 | * |
| 79 | -->'''Todd:''' Bill, what do you think about what they're doing to your song?\ |
| 80 | '''Bill Medley:''' ♪Baby, something beautiful's dyin'...♪\ |
| 81 | '''Todd:''' I feel you, man. Black Eyed Peas: Now exactly as bad as everyone always said they were. |
| 82 | [[/folder]] |
| 83 | |
| 84 | [[folder:Enrique Iglesias ft. Ludacris & DJ Frank E - "Tonight (I'm Fuckin' You)"]] |
| 85 | * You can tell how Todd feels about this, and how the review will go, when he reveals the uncensored version, where the chorus of "Tonight I'm loving you" becomes "Tonight I'm fucking you". |
| 86 | -->'''Todd:''' This is not a song. [[RomanticizedAbuse This is an ad for Mace.]] |
| 87 | * [[DamnedByFaintPraise Saying other bad songs are more dignified than "Tonight"]]. |
| 88 | -->'''Akon:''' ♪Damn, you's a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch♪\ |
| 89 | '''Todd:''' Say what you want about that; at least it's a compliment!\ |
| 90 | '''Akon:''' ♪I wanna fuck you, you already know...♪\ |
| 91 | '''Todd:''' You know what? Say what you want about that song, too. At least it's a request!\ |
| 92 | '''Lloyd''' ♪Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock!\ |
| 93 | '''Todd:''' Oh, my God, "[=BedRock=]" is like a Shakespearean love sonnet in comparison. |
| 94 | * Todd cannot comprehend some of the pseudo-philosophical drivel in the lyrics. |
| 95 | -->'''Enrique:''' ♪I know you're ready / If I never lied, then baby you'd be the truth♪\ |
| 96 | '''Todd:''' What?\ |
| 97 | '''Enrique:''' ♪If I never lied, then baby you'd be the truth♪\ |
| 98 | '''Todd:''' [[IceCreamKoan Is that some kind of zen thing?]] The ''fuck'' did that mean? ''[beat]'' There is no way I should have trouble comprehending the lyrics of a song entitled "Tonight (I'm Fucking You)"! |
| 99 | * Comparing Enrique's drift from "LatinLover to 'kind of skeevy'" to [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Quagmire]]. |
| 100 | * |
| 101 | --> '''Todd:''' Yes, sir. When Enrique starts yodeling through his nose, the panties...''drop!'' His daddy Julio knew how it worked. You never saw him doing anything like this.\ |
| 102 | '''Julio Iglesias:''' ♪I owe a lot, I know / To all the girls I've ''[beep]''ed before♪\ |
| 103 | '''Todd:''' Come to think of it, maybe it's a good thing that Enrique is such a wimpy, unthreatening kind of guy, cause this song is kind of, um...how do I want to put this...[[RomanticizedAbuse rapey]]?\ |
| 104 | '''Enrique:''' ♪But tonight I’m fucking you♪\ |
| 105 | '''[[WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce Hand Banana:]]''' Tonight...''you.''\ |
| 106 | '''Todd:''' It's, uhh...it's a little rapey. |
| 107 | * "[[SarcasmMode Oh, nice video, by the way.]] If you wanted to make a sex tape, Enrique, just leak one out, all right?" |
| 108 | * Then we get to the gratuitous Music/{{Ludacris}} rap: |
| 109 | -->'''Todd:''' Look, I love Ludacris, I'll listen to Ludacris in anything, I can't hate on him. But seriously, he's on every song. If you record a song in your basement and put it on your Website/MySpace page, it'll have Ludacris on there somehow by the time it uploads. He was on a ''Justin Bieber'' song. Why? What does he have to do with Justin Bieber? Nothing! He was just on it because he's on everything. My keyboard even comes with a Ludacris setting on it.\ |
| 110 | ''[he pushes some keys and Ludacris snippets play]'' |
| 111 | * As for Ludacris' rap section, Todd has this to say: |
| 112 | -->'''Ludacris:''' ♪Tonight, I’m gonna do / Everything that I want with you♪\ |
| 113 | '''Todd:''' Again, a little rapey.\ |
| 114 | '''Ludacris:''' ♪You got that body that make me wanna get on the floor / Just to see you dance / And I love the way you shake that ass / Turn around and let me see them pants♪\ |
| 115 | '''Todd:''' Those are some well-fitting pants! I love the way those look, you have to tell me where you got them!\ |
| 116 | '''Ludacris:''' ♪Turn around and let me see them pants♪\ |
| 117 | '''Todd:''' Luda, you know you can see her pants from any angle, right?\ |
| 118 | '''Ludacris:''' ♪Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude--♪\ |
| 119 | '''Todd:''' ''[as Ludacris]'' [[MoneyDearBoy But where's my paycheck?]] Thank you, thank you. Have fun with your song, Taio Cruz, or whoever's song I'm on today. |
| 120 | * "Seriously, were you raised in the wild? Society does have rules, you know! This is a toilet, Enrique. We do our business in here. This is a woman. Shake her hand, say hi, don't fling your shit at her." |
| 121 | [[/folder]] |
| 122 | |
| 123 | [[folder:Wiz Khalifa - "Black and Yellow"]] |
| 124 | * Writhing in pain while watching Transformers. |
| 125 | -->'''Mrs Witwicky:''' [[MistakenForMasturbating Were you... masturbating?]]\ |
| 126 | '''Todd:''' [[DespairEventHorizon KILL ME! KILL ME!]] |
| 127 | * "Now, this guy is named Wiz Khalifa. What do I know about him? I know that if he's never used the line '[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobody_Beats_the_Wiz Nobody Beats the Wiz]]' in a song, I will be extremely disappointed." |
| 128 | * "'Black and Yellow'" turned into the unofficial Steelers anthem during their amazing playoff run, making "Black and Yellow" the first real football championship single since "The Super Bowl Shuffle". (Cover showing the Green Bay Packers' victory at the Super Bowl along with LosingHorns) Oh, right, except the Steelers lost. ...But my issues with the song go beyond just the fact that the Steelers are a bunch of [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment losing losers of losingness.]]" |
| 129 | * The entirety of WebVideo/RolloT's cameo explaining why, apparently, Pittsburgh is her BerserkButton. |
| 130 | * "My girl's hot. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial She doesn't have herpes!]] ...What?!" |
| 131 | * |
| 132 | -->'''Wiz:''' ♪No love for 'em while I'm breaking hearts / No keys, push to start♪\ |
| 133 | '''Todd:''' Keyless, huh? Got that, everybody? His car is flashy, expensive and easy to steal. But I'm sure he doesn't have to worry about that kind of thing on the safe, affluent streets of Pittsburgh.\ |
| 134 | '''Wiz:''' ♪Stay fly like--♪\ |
| 135 | '''Todd:''' [[CallBack A G6?]]\ |
| 136 | '''Wiz:''' ♪...like I'm supposed to do♪\ |
| 137 | '''Todd:''' Oh, sorry. Carry on.\ |
| 138 | '''Wiz:''' ♪And my car look unapproachable♪\ |
| 139 | '''Todd:''' ''[long pause, then he plays the Finish The Rhyme fanfare]'' ''[sighs]'' I'm not even playing this time. I'm not gonna do it. There's no point. 'Cause I don't even know what's gonna happen. Nothing rhymes with that. What is gonna put there? Coachable? Poachable? No. He's either gonna rhyme it with itself, or he's gonna come up with this horrible forced rhyme that won't fit at all unless he twists the words beyond recognition. So let's see it. Let's see what he does. Rhyme that shit. Go on.\ |
| 140 | '''Wiz:''' ♪And my car look unapproachable / Super clean, but it's super mean / She wanna ride with them cats, count stacks / Get fly, take trips and that's that♪\ |
| 141 | '''Todd:''' ''[claps]'' Bravo, sir. ''Bra-vo.'' Didn't...even...try. Wow. I had not even considered that as a possibility. Abandon the rhyme scheme entirely. ''Clogged toilets'' have better flow than this guy! |
| 142 | * "Oh, and here's a hint: when your name is "'''Wiz'''", [[ToiletHumour yellow is a color you should be trying to avoid.]]" |
| 143 | * In TheStinger, he takes a shot at the team that lost Super Bowl XLV: |
| 144 | -->'''Wiz:''' ♪I hear they're scared of it, but them pros ain't♪\ |
| 145 | '''Todd:''' You know who else wasn't scared of it? ''The Packers.'' '''Burn!''' |
| 146 | [[/folder]] |
| 147 | |
| 148 | [[folder:Bruno Mars - "Grenade"]] |
| 149 | * "I've been doing this show for more than a year now, and over the course of that time, there's become a certain...type of song that I generally choose to review. So when I pick a song, you kinda know what to expect: obnoxious musical gimmicks, lousy production, poorly thought-out metaphors, painful forced rhymes, uncomfortable misogyny, bad pickup lines, annoying vocals, etc. And yet, just about none of these things are crimes of which you could accuse today's artist ''[shows the poster for...]'' [[Film/{{Bruno}} Brüno]]...Mars." |
| 150 | * Todd talking about how "we all feel unappreciated at some point". |
| 151 | -->Cut to Todd in front of his computer) Well?\ |
| 152 | '''WebVideo/PushingUpRoses:''' Well, what?\ |
| 153 | '''Todd:''' Aren't you going to thank me for promoting your last video?\ |
| 154 | '''Roses:''' You posted a link on your blog that said, "Ha-ha, worst video ever".\ |
| 155 | '''Onscreen text:''' [[AC:ha ha ha ha ha ha worst video ever. worse than "Music/{{friday}}." seriously. lol]]\ |
| 156 | '''Todd:''' ''(indignantly)'' You're welcome! |
| 157 | * "The man has the power and the range to imbue every song with the passion and immediacy and emotional intensity of a man being repeatedly kicked in the balls." |
| 158 | -->'''Bruno Mars:''' ♪Ooh! Aah! Ooh... '''OOH!'''♪ |
| 159 | * The LongList of negative characteristics of the woman being sung about, including abusive, demonic, insane, evil, deceitful and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking bad at auto repair]], followed by: |
| 160 | -->'''Todd:''' Yep, she sounds like a keeper. Why are you this devoted to her? Matter of fact, let's alternate between the chorus and the verses so I can show you what this song sounds like in my head.\ |
| 161 | '''Bruno:''' ♪You know I'd do anything for you / Mad woman, bad woman, that's just what you are / But. darling, I'd still catch a grenade for ya / You said you loved me, you're a liar / Cause you never ever, ever--♪ ''[cut to...]''\ |
| 162 | '''Music/MinnieRiperton:''' ♪[[MoodWhiplash And everything that I do / Is out of loving you]]♪ ''[cut to...]''\ |
| 163 | '''Creator/SamKinison:''' [[MoodWhiplash YOU SNAKY TRAMP! YOU LIED TO ME!!! WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME, YOU NEVER LOVED ME!!!]]\ |
| 164 | '''Todd:''' You...you see the problem, right? |
| 165 | * Todd displaying how impractical throwing your hand on a blade for someone is. |
| 166 | -->'''Todd:''' ''[holding his hand over an awkwardly held blade]'' I'm totally gonna do it...You love me now, right? |
| 167 | * "You know, I wasn't really sure how I felt about him, but then he told me he'd get hit by a train, and the thought of his bloody, battered corpse smeared all over the tracks... Oh, God, my heart just melted! That's why you don't see him actually blowing himself up in the video—because it'd look ridiculous. All he's doing is pulling a piano. See, that's a much better thing to do. I'd pull a piano for you. Now there's a song. You ever try and move one of these things? They're heavy. Who wouldn't be touched by a gesture like that? ...Well, ''I'' think it'd be romantic." |
| 168 | * |
| 169 | -->''Todd:'''Is this what you really want? You need someone to take a bullet for you? Are you sure a girlfriend is even what you're looking for? I think what you're looking for is a double, ''[flashes up Bruno's |
| 170 | [[http://bigalblog.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/bruno-mars-mug-shot.jpg mug shot]]]'' and... um... yeah, I don't know if you're gonna be able to find one of those either. ''[and then a picture of...]'' Music/JanelleMonae, maybe? It's a thought. |
| 171 | * "♪I would catch a gre-NAAAYD for ya, jump in front of a TRAAIHN for ya...♪ Yeah, it's a little out of my range." |
| 172 | ** At least one comment said he ended up sounding like [[Music/{{Nirvana}} Kurt Cobain]]. |
| 173 | * "I could maybe deal with this song if it were just sad and dark and quiet, but it's so over-the-top and whiny in all the wrong ways. Simple Plan probably listened to this and giggled to themselves about how emo this guy this." |
| 174 | * "His next song will probably be a lot better. Matter of fact, I think he's already released the next single. Let's listen to that. (cut to a clip of The Lazy Song) This is...wait a minute, this is a "'''white guy with acoustic guitar'''" song! Oh no. Oh, ''hell'' no, ''Bro''-no Mars. I've had enough Jason Mraz in my lifetime, thank you. We're not doing this. Oh, you'd catch a grenade for me, huh? ''[pulls out a grenade]'' Prove it! Cover!" ''[atomic explosion]'' |
| 175 | [[/folder]] |
| 176 | |
| 177 | [[folder:Katy Perry - "Firework" vs. Lady Gaga - "Born This Way"]] |
| 178 | * "What I'm talking about, of course, are Katy Perry's single 'Firework' and Lady Gaga's single [[MaliciousMisnaming 'Boring This Way.']] ''[beat, checks notes]'' Excuse me, 'Born This Way.'" |
| 179 | * |
| 180 | -->'''Todd''': Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Katy Perry sure does. Because she's made of plastic. And she's a bag. [[TakeThat Boom!]]\ |
| 181 | '''Katy Perry''': ♪[[IronicEchoCut Boom, boom, boom!]]♪ |
| 182 | * Talking with WebVideo/JesuOtaku on how offending a girl's figure is bad. Specially as he keeps talking but he just stands there with a baffled face. |
| 183 | * |
| 184 | -->'''Katy:''' ♪Do you ever feel / Feel so paper thin? / Like a house of cards?♪\ |
| 185 | '''Todd:''' No, I don't feel [[HollywoodThin paper thin]], because I don't have your perfect body, Katy Perry! ''(cries)'' |
| 186 | * |
| 187 | -->'''Todd:''' I'm not sure how good it is to tell the depressed that they're going to explode...?\ |
| 188 | '''Katy:''' ♪Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow♪\ |
| 189 | '''Todd:''' Is this a song for suicide bombers? Seriously. Now you wanna know what would make a good song lyric? "Baby you're a firewood." See? That's much more of a compliment! Firewood lasts longer, it's useful, provides warmth... ♪Baby you're a firewood, you make my S'mores taste really good...♪ Oh my God, I have to write this.\ |
| 190 | '''Caption:''' Watch out, Weird Al! |
| 191 | * |
| 192 | -->'''Todd:''' "Born This Way" is targeted to a more specific demographic. One that's been unfairly stigmatized and marginalized for far too long.\ |
| 193 | '''Lady Gaga:''' Just put your paws up\ |
| 194 | '''Todd:''' [[UsefulNotes/FurryFandom Furries]]. Also, I guess, gay people. |
| 195 | * Todd reacting to "You’re black, white, beige, chola descent / You’re Lebanese, you’re Orient" by saying he's ''all of those ethnicities''. [[note]][[RunningGag "As far as *you* know."]][[/note]] |
| 196 | * Showing how Katy Perry likes the gay community with "[[BaitAndSwitchLesbians I Kissed a Girl]]" and "[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Ur So Gay]]". |
| 197 | * "[[Film/WalkHardTheDeweyCoxStory And I want an army of didgeridoos. Fifty thousand didgeridoos!]]" |
| 198 | * |
| 199 | --> '''Todd:''' But I have to say, I'm not sure the "Born This Way" video measures up to the "Firework" video in one major way: does she have anything firing out of her boobs? Nope, [[CallBack and Katy Perry does!]] And by my count, that puts her in the lead 2-1. Jokes aside, the "Born This Way" video is hysterical, but it could never achieve the level of effortless stupidity of the "Firework" video, in which [=KatyPerryBot5000=] apparently starts malfunctioning from the torso area. Apparently we're supposed to let Katy Perry's magical chest sparkles make you feel better, no matter if you're fat or gay or[[BreadEggsMilkSquick ...being mugged or...dying of cancer?!]] |
| 200 | * Todd stating that the thing he admires the most about Katy Perry's songs is the production team. Why? Then shows clips of Katy Perry singing live completely out of tune. |
| 201 | -->'''Todd:''' You know what miracle of audio work it is to have that disaster of a voice was turned into something you can even sell to a mass audience? |
| 202 | [[/folder]] |
| 203 | |
| 204 | [[folder:Rihanna - "S&M"]] |
| 205 | * Todd sums up [="SOS"=] |
| 206 | --> '''Todd''': Now here's a wasted sample for you: ♪Waste of song. Oooohhh. Waste of song♪ |
| 207 | * |
| 208 | -->'''Rihanna:''' ♪I want you to love me, like I'm a hot ride♪\ |
| 209 | '''Todd:''' Love you like you're a what?\ |
| 210 | '''Rihanna:''' ♪I want you to love me, like I'm a hot "guy"♪\ |
| 211 | '''Todd:''' Um...ok. But judging by [[ExperimentedInCollege my experimental days in college]], it'll just end up disappointingly for everyone. |
| 212 | * "Ah yes, Rihanna's dark, angsty song, in which she used Russian roulette as a metaphor for... Yeah, I'll be straight with you, I have no idea what it was a metaphor for. I listened to this song over and over, but as far as I could tell, it's about shooting yourself in the head." |
| 213 | * |
| 214 | -->'''Todd''': That was the first she after a fairly dark time of her life. She, uh...\ |
| 215 | ''[cue shot of Chris Brown, from [[CallBack "I Can Transform Ya"]], staring menacingly into the camera]''\ |
| 216 | '''Todd''': Yeah. |
| 217 | * More fun with mondegreens: |
| 218 | -->'''Todd''': What the hell is she even saying?\ |
| 219 | '''Rihanna''': Ass, ass, ass and ham, ham, ham. [[note]] Actually "S S S and M M M" [[/note]] |
| 220 | * |
| 221 | -->'''Rihanna:''' ♪Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it♪\ |
| 222 | '''Todd:''' *sniff, sniff* Does anyone else smell that? |
| 223 | * "I still would've had problems with this song, simply because I cannot take "S&M" seriously. I think my opinions of it were largely influenced by the laughably bad Madonna movie ''Film/BodyOfEvidence'', and a LetsPlay of the computer game ''[[VideoGame/PhantasmagoriaAPuzzleOfFlesh Phantasmagoria 2]]'', done by... [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment some guy]]." |
| 224 | * "How many people are there out there really that are genuinely into all that bondage stuff. I mean, think about it. You're not into it. Actually, maybe you are into it. I have no idea what the demographics are in this. Maybe everyone's out there with whips and wall-shackles and stuff, and I'm the only weirdo who's not. Although I'll tell you this—the stuff I am into is a lot weirder than that. [[NoodleImplements A trombone is involved.]] So yeah..." |
| 225 | * The quick shot of Rosie O'Donnell in S&M gear from ''Exit to Eden'', shown when Todd is saying that the video is "shouting SEX! over and over again like a deranged Tourette's sufferer". |
| 226 | * "I have the Internet, I've seen everything. I've seen porn of ''[[{{Rule34}} ME]]'', for God's sake!" |
| 227 | * Rob Walker's cameo, stopping Todd from talking about Rihanna and DomesticAbuse. |
| 228 | -->'''Rob:''' Look, if we need somebody to talk about this stuff, we'll hand it off to somebody more...intellectually capable.\ |
| 229 | '''[[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall '90s Kid]]''': Dude, what the heck is a Ree-hah-na? |
| 230 | * "Time to do more research. Wikipedia, please give me some material and rescue this video! Rihanna said people should not take the lyrics too literally. 'I don't think of it in a sexual way, I'm thinking metaphorically. It's more of a thing to say that people can talk about you. You just have to be that strong person.' Oh, I'm not even gonna dignify that. Yeah, and "[[Music/MarvinGaye Let's Get It On]]" is actually a protest song about the Vietnam War. Pffft. |
| 231 | * The conclusion that liking this song is basically sadomasochistic itself. |
| 232 | --> "And that's another reason I don't show my face" |
| 233 | [[/folder]] |
| 234 | |
| 235 | [[folder:Bruno Mars - "The Lazy Song"]] |
| 236 | * The [[https://www.deviantart.com/thebutterfly/art/The-Lazy-Song-215095920 title card]] is only half-finished; in particular, Bruno Mars is only half colored in. |
| 237 | * "Previously on Todd In The Shadows: YourMom! Hah. Also on the show, this happened." |
| 238 | * "It's not even accurate to call this kind of music lifeless, because I'd actually like to hear music made by the lifeless." Cue [[Music/JonathanCoulton "RE: Your Brains"]]. |
| 239 | * Todd [[EpicFail failing]] to play guitar. ("Okay, guitar's not my instrument.") |
| 240 | * |
| 241 | -->'''Bruno:''' ♪I'm gonna kick my feet up / Then stare at the fan♪\ |
| 242 | '''Todd:''' Staring at the fan. That's your dream vacation, that's...that was appealing enough to write lyrics about. ([[DescriptionCut Cut to a shot of a fan]], which falls over) I don't see the appeal. |
| 243 | * Any time he calls out on Bruno Mars wanting to stick his hand down his pants. |
| 244 | --> '''Todd''': Did you have to have someone tell you not to stick your hand in your pants? Do you just walk around with your hand stuffed down your shorts in public until someone stops you? I mean, why else would you write a song basically rebelling against the injustice of not being able to put your hand in your pants whenever you wanted?\ |
| 245 | (''later'')\ |
| 246 | '''Todd''': Goddamn it, Bruno! Is there a reference to what you're gonna do with your junk in every verse of this song?! Why do you think I wanna hear you sing about your penis?! |
| 247 | * Calling out Bruno Mars: |
| 248 | -->'''Bruno:''' ♪I might mess around, get my college degree / I bet my old man will be so proud of me / But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait♪\ |
| 249 | '''Todd:''' "Might mess around, get my college degree." Give me a moment. What I'm looking at right here are my college loan statements, and I owe...73 bajillion dollars for an education that only ever got me a job talking about Katy Perry songs on the Internet. And meanwhile, every day this summer, I get to watch Bruno Mars make billions off a terrible song in which he calls getting a degree, "messing around." Seriously, dude? Go die. |
| 250 | * "Another thing, Bruno: I know you can't drop the F-bomb on the radio, but seriously, you gotta find a different word to use than "frickin'". |
| 251 | * Ranting at Bruno about laziness being a poor subject for a song, and issued a challenge: |
| 252 | -->'''Todd:''' Name me one good song, just one good song about doing nothing, sitting around, wasting time.\ |
| 253 | '''Music/OtisRedding:''' ♪Sittin' on the dock of the bay wastin' time♪\ |
| 254 | '''Todd:''' Oh shit, that's a good answer. You know what, that just highlights what a failure of a song this one this. "(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay" is about a weary man beat down by life. "The Lazy Song" is about a vapid jack-off playing with his dick! |
| 255 | * After Todd attempts to start the review over and do nothing but play video games for 15 minutes, he gets back to the song. |
| 256 | -->'''Todd:''' Screw this song. You know what this song's good for? Tell 'em, Bruno. ''(cuts to the end of the video)''\ |
| 257 | '''Bruno:''' Nothing at all.\ |
| 258 | '''Todd:''' Damn straight. |
| 259 | * TheStinger, which is a longer clip of Todd playing ''VideoGame/SuperSmashBros Brawl''. |
| 260 | -->'''WebVideo/PushingUpRoses:''' Todd, I thought you said you were gonna work on the review.\ |
| 261 | '''Todd:''' I ''am'' working on the review. See, I'm filming this so it's not me being lazy; it's gonna be like a meta-commentary on how lazy the song is.\ |
| 262 | '''Roses:''' How long have you been filming this?\ |
| 263 | '''Todd:''' Six hours. |
| 264 | [[/folder]] |
| 265 | |
| 266 | [[folder:Katy Perry ft. Kanye West - "E.T."]] |
| 267 | * All the cameos in the beginning insulting Todd's musical taste. |
| 268 | -->'''Rollo T:''' Todd, I've got Miley Cyrus on my [=MP3=] player, and even I'm disgusted by your taste in music.\ |
| 269 | '''Jesu Otaku:''' Todd, you apologized fifteen times for putting "California Gurls" on your list. ...Fifteen times isn't enough.\ |
| 270 | '''The Nostalgia Chick:''' Why would anyone listen to Katy Perry? She sounds like a garbage truck in labor!\ |
| 271 | '''Nash:''' This is what the music guy on the site listens to. The ''music'' guy!\ |
| 272 | '''Obscurus Lupa:''' [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Stop stealing pieces of my hair!]]\ |
| 273 | '''Todd:''' ''[quickly]'' Yep, Katy Perry sure does suck! |
| 274 | * "Oh, by the way, hope you have a good 4th of July. Be prepared to hear that song every Independence Day for the rest of your lives. (You know it's true)" |
| 275 | * More fun with mondegreens... partly caused by {{word salad|Lyrics}}: |
| 276 | -->'''Kanye''': ♪I got a dirty mind / I got filthy ways / I'm trying to bathe my ape / In your Milky Way…\ |
| 277 | '''Captions''': [[EvenTheSubtitlerIsStumped (I'm trying to bay my ache. Wait, "bay my ache"? "Bait my aid"?)]]\ |
| 278 | '''Todd''': Okay, see, according to every Internet site I consulted—believe me, I consulted a lot of them—what Kanye is saying is, "bathe my ape in your milky way." That can't possibly be the case, and if it is... Kanye, there's an art to sexual innuendo. You gotta have some kind of sense.\ |
| 279 | ''[picture: "I'm trying to [picture of bathtub] my [picture of ape] in your [picture of the Milky Way]"]''\ |
| 280 | '''Todd''': You can't just take a vaguely sexual sentence and throw random words into it.\ |
| 281 | ''[the pictures of the bathtub, ape, and Milky Way change to a man performing a karate kick, a sandwich, and Music/JustinBieber, respectively]'' |
| 282 | * "Katy sings about being in love with a weird someone or something who's not human and from a whole other world. ''[picture of Creator/RussellBrand]'' Considering who she's married to...yeah, sounds about right." |
| 283 | * "I'd perhaps find the song a little more attractive if they hadn't named the song after the [[Film/EtTheExtraTerrestrial ugliest, most asexual alien in history]]. ...No one's turned on by that. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Unless there's some kind of weirdo who's aroused by that bug-eyed turd of an alien. Fortunately, I think I can say with all certainty that there's no one turned on by E.T. Because if there was, there had to be some kind of a porno version of E.T.]] And I'm sure if there was, I would have heard about it by now. And if I didn't mention it, I'm sure my comments section would be flooded with [[WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob people]] telling me about the E.T. Porno. God. That'd be awful. Good thing one doesn't exist, huh?" |
| 284 | * "[[Film/AFishCalledWanda It's K-K-K-Katy coming to k-k-k-kiss me!]] " |
| 285 | * |
| 286 | --> '''Todd:''' I'm a traditionalist, I like my pop songs catchy. "E.T." just kind of stomps on you. |
| 287 | -->'''[[Music/{{Queen}} Freddie Mercury]]:''' Singing we will, we will, rock you! |
| 288 | -->'''Todd:''' Oh, I wish Freddie. |
| 289 | * |
| 290 | -->'''Todd:''' Okay, you know, I have been accused in the past of being somewhat LiteralMinded. I maintain that "Telephone" isn't about anything but a telephone, I think "Milkshake" is about a woman who [[ComicallyMissingThePoint makes really good milkshakes.]] But I realize that that may be a reductive way to interpret things. So I'm gonna do my best to interpret this one a little smarter. So...\ |
| 291 | '''Katy Perry:''' ♪You're an alien♪\ |
| 292 | '''Todd:''' "An alien"...she's talking about someone who's...strange, who's from different world. I guess this could be about getting with a foreign guy. There's some kind of interracial thing going on here. ♪You're an Indian, an Ethiopian...♪ Something like that. And if that's where they were going for, I don't know if they need to hide it in a metaphor. Interracial relationships are really not much of a taboo anymore. If this is about a black guy, just say, "I wanna get with this really amazing hot black guy."\ |
| 293 | '''Katy:''' ♪They say be afraid / Ready for abduction / Wanna be your victim♪\ |
| 294 | '''Todd:''' This black guy who people are afraid of. And who's going to abduct you. And make you his victim. Actually, now that I think about it, yeah, better leave that as a metaphor. That was a good move. You know what? There wasn't any metaphor. This is entirely innocent, and [[TemptingFate I have no reason to believe this has anything to do with some unstable black guy.]]\ |
| 295 | ''[AnswerCut to...]''\ |
| 296 | '''Music/KanyeWest''': ♪I know a bar out in Mars♪\ |
| 297 | '''Todd:''' Oh, hi, Kanye. |
| 298 | * And now Kanye rewrites "American Pie"! ♪My, my Buddy Holly died♪ [[LiteralMinded And then the Sixties happened and it was really intense and rock and roll was involved in a lot of it.]] |
| 299 | * This: |
| 300 | -->'''Kanye West:''' ♪Imma disrobe, then Imma probe you♪\ |
| 301 | '''Todd:''' Police, I'd like to report an assault in progress! |
| 302 | * "It turns out, her magical alien dream lover is, in fact, a naked albino black guy. [[NoJustNoReaction You know what? I'm not even touchin' that one.]] Good night!" |
| 303 | [[/folder]] |
| 304 | |
| 305 | [[folder:LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock - "Party Rock Anthem"]] |
| 306 | * The opening, where the attempt of using the Mario statue as a stand-in backfires. |
| 307 | * "I know the real deal when I hear it, and I know when I'm listening to a wannabe. Now, even the most repulsive forms of music have a scale of quality, and on this scale, the Black Eyed Peas are like Music/VanHalen, Far East Movement is Music/QuietRiot and LMFAO are...I don't know, Nelson. And you don't know how much it pains me to describe the Black Eyed Peas as the genuine article compared to anything, but that's the level we've gotten to. The Black Eyed Peas are the real club [=VIPs=], and LMFAO are like the [[Film/ANightAtTheRoxbury Night at the Roxbury]] guys. If the Roxbury guys made music instead of just bobbing their heads and physically assaulting women, they'd sound like this." |
| 308 | * "Yeah, in case you missed it, they do, in fact, repeatedly shout 'Party Rock'...in their song 'Party Rock Anthem'...the first single from their latest album, 'Sorry for Party Rocking'. Not to be confused with the song of the same name, or for that matter, with their first album, 'Party Rock'. [[DontExplainTheJoke They have a bit of a one-track mind, is what I'm trying to say here.]]" |
| 309 | * "I get the feeling that there's not a lot of anti-war protest songs on these albums, although who knows? ♪[[{{Anvilicious}} I oppose unauthorized military actions in Libyaaaaa toniiiiight]]♪" |
| 310 | * "...[[AndThenJohnWasAZombie And then John was a douchebag]]." |
| 311 | * "If these guys had a more limited vocabulary, [[PokemonSpeak they'd be a Pokemon.]]" |
| 312 | * Todd realizing that "Everyday I'm shufflin'" is a {{snowclone}} of a similar line from Music/RickRoss's "Hustlin'": |
| 313 | -->'''Todd:''' These guys aren't just bad rappers, they're bad rappers whose inspiration is ''other'' bad rappers! |
| 314 | * "These guys have so few lyrical skills that I'm not surprised that the chorus of this song doesn't have any words in it. This squealing, glitching keyboard line here? I consider that the real hook of this song. Yes, these guys are so bad at words that their only hit has a chorus that could be accurately sung by Beaker from Franchise/TheMuppets." |
| 315 | * The teasing of him becoming one of the Party Rock zombies, only for him to subvert the gag both times. |
| 316 | * When he tries to let it slide and be positive about it, he nearly ''ceases to exist''. |
| 317 | [[/folder]] |
| 318 | |
| 319 | [[folder:Pitbull ft. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, & Nayer - "Give Me Everything"]] |
| 320 | * The hard rhyme at the very beginning. |
| 321 | -->'''Pitbull:''' ♪Me not working hard?Yeah, right, picture that with a [[Creator/EastmanKodak Kodak]] / Or better yet, go to Times Square / Take a picture of me with a Kodak♪\ |
| 322 | '''Todd:''' ...Pitbull, a list of words that rhyme with Kodak: sad sack, pitch black, ice pack, gun rack, racetrack, blackjack, ass crack, wolfpack, hijack, knick-knack, paddy whack, heart attack, smoke attack, "[[Music/{{Gorillaz}} lay these ponies at the track]]", "[[Music/DeLaSoul it's my chocolate attack]]"...HOW HARD IS THAT?! |
| 323 | ** He also imagined this was a ProductPlacement.[[note]]The next time he covered Pitbull, he found out that it ''[[HilariousInHindsight was]]''.[[/note]] |
| 324 | * Next, the mondegreen in the chorus. |
| 325 | -->'''Ne-Yo:''' ♪Tonight, Imma [[MondegreenGag la la you tonight]]♪\ |
| 326 | '''Todd:''' What?\ |
| 327 | '''Ne-Yo:''' ♪Imma gnaw log you tonight♪\ |
| 328 | '''Todd:''' What?\ |
| 329 | '''Ne-Yo:''' ♪Aminal of you tonight♪\ |
| 330 | '''Todd:''' ...What? |
| 331 | * |
| 332 | -->'''Pitbull:''' ♪Baby, baby, and it ain't no secret / My family's from Cuba, but I'm an American Idol / Gettin' money like Seacrest♪\ |
| 333 | '''Todd:''' ''({{facepalm}}ing with his elbow on the keyboard)'' Ok, first off, Ryan Seacrest is not an American Idol, he's the host of American Idol. I refuse to live in a world where Ryan Seacrest is considered an idol.\ |
| 334 | '''Google:''' You searched for Ryan Seacrest fansite. Did you mean: literally anything else?\ |
| 335 | '''Todd:''' Seriously, who the hell idolizes Ryan Seacrest? The point is, do you really, really wanna compare yourself to Ryan Seacrest? You wanna pick someone with a little more street cred, like Lawrence Welk...or [[GodwinsLaw Hitler?]] |
| 336 | * His reaction to "Grab somebody sexy, tell 'em hey / Give me everything tonight" involves [[LiteralMinded doing exactly that]] with [[Creator/AllisonPregler Lupa.]] HilarityEnsues, particularly when [[FunnyBackgroundEvent you notice that]] Lindsay's [[RidiculouslyCuteCritter Boston Terrier]] puppy chases him out. |
| 337 | -->'''Todd:''' Ow. [[BlatantLies Think I'm wearing her down.]] |
| 338 | * |
| 339 | -->'''Todd:''' No, seriously, why does, like, every third song I review on this show sound like a sex offender wrote it? Is Billboard secretly sponsored by [[DateRape roofies]]? (Roofies! [[YouPutTheXInXY We put the "hip" in "Rohypnol"!]]) |
| 340 | * |
| 341 | -->'''Todd:''' This song needs an Music/{{Usher}}, a Music/TPain, a [[Music/MichaelBolton Michael]] [[Music/TheLonelyIsland Bolton]], perhaps. But not this guy. Actually, the more I listen to this song, the more I think Pitbull's not the problem here. The problem's Music/NeYo. Pitbull is a horrible lyricist, but at least he's always up for a good time. "Yeah, have some awkward, had-too-much-to-drink sex...tonight." I can get behind that, but...Ne-Yo? I think he's a decent songwriter, but...listen to his stuff. He's not really the guy you go to to get the party started, you know?\ |
| 342 | '''Ne-Yo:''' ♪Gotta fix that calendar I had that's marked July 15th / Because if there’s no more you, there’s no more anniversary♪\ |
| 343 | '''Todd:''' ''[bottle in hand]'' ''WHOOOOO!!! PARTY!'' [[Music/{{DMX}} Y'all gon' make me lose my mind! Up in here, up in here!]] |
| 344 | [[/folder]] |
| 345 | |
| 346 | [[folder:Hot Chelle Rae - "Tonight, Tonight"]] |
| 347 | * Playing [[Music/SisterSledge "We Are Family"]] to describe the nepotism involved with Hot Chelle Rae and LMFAO. |
| 348 | * |
| 349 | -->''[Todd opens front door]''\ |
| 350 | '''Todd:''' Gosh, what a beautiful day. Oh, let's see what's in the news. ''[picks up paper and reads]'' 'War was declared. Millions of people dead. Zombie apocalypse sweeps the western hemisphere and the end is nigh.' [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Oh, well! ♪La la la...♪]] |
| 351 | * |
| 352 | -->'''Todd:''' Just about anybody can bang out a generic party song by repeating the words 'tonight', [[Music/BlackBox 'everybody']], [[Music/{{Friday}} 'fun']] or, worst case scenario, [[Music/WangChung 'everybody have fun tonight.']]\ |
| 353 | ''[beat]''\ |
| 354 | '''Todd:''' [[BaitAndSwitch That song's OK.]] |
| 355 | * The [[OverlyLongGag extended sequence]] in which he compares Hot Chelle Rae's brand of partying to a high-school graduation party, specifically the overnight kind organized by the school PTA [[ShoddyShindig where the "fun" is bland at best]]. |
| 356 | * "Not only is this song horrible, it knows it and it wants you to know that it knows it. ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Eat...my...ass!]]'' This is a flaccid, creatively bankrupt turd intended for the kind of people threatened by the raw, dangerous sexuality of the Jonas Brothers." |
| 357 | [[/folder]] |
| 358 | |
| 359 | [[folder:The Band Perry - "If I Die Young"]] |
| 360 | * The beginning of the video, playing If I Die Young, a morbid song about death, at a quick tempo that makes it sound like a happy ditty. |
| 361 | * While doing a "funeral checklist", Todd takes "Sink me in the river at dawn" as meaning CementShoes. |
| 362 | * Commenting on all the funeral requests. |
| 363 | -->'''Kimberly:''' ♪Send me away with the words of a love song♪\ |
| 364 | '''Todd:''' Can do!\ |
| 365 | '''Music/BoyzIIMen:''' ♪I'll make love to you like you want me to / And I'll hold you tight♪\ |
| 366 | '''Todd:''' Oh, sorry, is that inappropriate? |
| 367 | * In a ValleyGirl accent: |
| 368 | -->'''Todd:''' What's the point? No one cares when you're old. If I die old, bury me in garbage. Like, lay me down on a bed of roaches, it doesn't even matter. Oh, my God, people are gonna start paying attention to all my deep thoughts, like that...wars and stuff are bad and shouldn't happen, and it's sad when puppies die, and that Heather was, like, totally a mean-girl bitch, and that Bobby was totally stupid to be dating her in the first place, but you could totally tell he's gonna leave Emily and go back to her, which is, like, totally retarded. Oh, my God, can't wait to be dead. It's gonna be awesome. |
| 369 | * Todd's "flashback" to his emo days. |
| 370 | ** "If I were dead, they'd all listen to me. [[WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick Oh, Blink-182, you understand my pain.]]" |
| 371 | ** "God, I was such a whiny little brat all those...ten months ago when that was filmed." |
| 372 | * |
| 373 | -->'''Todd:''' I feel a little bad picking on this song. I guess it's a little unfair to expect much more than this out of Miss Perry. I don't know what insights into life and death I was expecting her to have at the tender age of...\ |
| 374 | '''Captions:''' Kimberly Perry, Age: 28\ |
| 375 | '''Todd:''' Wait, what? Are you kidding?! Holy shit, that's ''older than I am!'' If you die young? Hell, lady, you're runnin' out of time! |
| 376 | * The ending song: [[Music/TheMisfits "Die Die My Darling"]]. |
| 377 | [[/folder]] |
| 378 | |
| 379 | [[folder:Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera - "Moves Like Jagger"]] |
| 380 | * |
| 381 | -->'''Todd:''' It's certainly hard out there on the pop charts, where we haven't had a big-name white male pop singer in a long time. The last real one out there was Justin Timberlake, but he quit his day job several years ago to pursue his dream making funny videos on the Internet. [[HypocriticalHumor Pff, what an idiot.]] And since then, there hasn't really been a white male pop star to replace him. I guess there's Mike Posner.\ |
| 382 | '''Mike Posner:''' ♪And we're doing that Bow chicka bow wow...♪\ |
| 383 | '''Todd:''' ...Yeah, I think we're all about done with that. |
| 384 | * "Seriously, he's like a clarinet that somehow learned to talk. No wonder their first single was called 'Harder to Breathe'. He sounds like he's running out of air!" |
| 385 | * |
| 386 | -->'''Todd:'''You've got moves like Jag...like what, snorting cocaine? ''[sighs]'' Yes, ladies and gentlemen. You are looking at the first time in history that anyone has tried to pick up a girl by saying they can dance like [[Music/TheRollingStonesBand Mick Jagger.]] I mean, moves like [[Music/MichaelJackson Michael]], or moves like Music/JamesBrown, moves likes...Jagger? Really?\ |
| 387 | ''[against various clips of Jagger trying to dance and failing]''\ |
| 388 | '''Todd:''' Congratulations, you can do such classic, amazing dance moves as the "geriatric shoulder shimmy", the "duck faced chicken flap", and of course the "[[Series/SaturdayNightLive I'm pointin' my fingers at YOU-HOO!]]"\ |
| 389 | '''Todd:''' ...I guess it's better than ''[against a clip of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfOa1a8hYP8 "Lotus Flower"]]]'' "moves like [[Music/{{Radiohead}} Thom Yorke"]] or ''[from [[https://youtu.be/drdgPoshAco?t=112 "Channel Awesome Dance Spectacular 3"]]]'' "moves like [[SelfDeprecation Soulja Boy"]]...*cough*" |
| 390 | * |
| 391 | -->'''Todd:''' I'll own you...with my moves like Jagger.\ |
| 392 | '''Todd:''' ''[singing over a clip of the Stones'...]'' ♪Brown sugar/how come you taste so good?!♪\ |
| 393 | '''Todd:''' Maroon 5 obviously only wrote that line because Mick Jagger is really popular nowadays, which itself is weird. Usually when a musical icon becomes hip again, it's because they have a comeback single. Or a really good album. Or a duet with a younger artist. Or have a movie made about them. Or they die. Mick Jagger, meanwhile, got popular again because his name rhymes with swagger. Yeah, that's all it took. I'm guessing we can probably get [[Music/CreedenceClearwaterRevival John Fogerty]] popular again if "[[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=schmogerty schmogerty]]" ever becomes a [[https://twitter.com/ShadowTodd/status/128273719385796609 trendy buzzword.]] Internet, get on that. |
| 394 | ** Near the end of the video, Todd says that [[BrickJoke the song isn't schmogerty enough for his taste]]. |
| 395 | * "In 1987, Music/ArethaFranklin recorded a love song with Music/GeorgeMichael. That actually happened. Now keep in mind that this is a not-very-good duet between a 45-year old black woman and a young gay man, and somehow the two of them still have more chemistry than Levine and [[Music/ChristinaAguilera Aguilera]] have on this track!" |
| 396 | [[/folder]] |
| 397 | |
| 398 | [[folder:Bad Meets Evil ft. Bruno Mars - "Lighters"]] |
| 399 | * |
| 400 | -->'''Todd:''' Eminem and Royce da 5'9" were friends back in the day and released a couple singles under the name Bad Meets Evil. But over the last decade, their relationship has been...complicated. Now, perhaps the best way to explain that relationship is with an analogy describing my own relationship with my younger colleague, the Rap Critic. Ready, dude?\ |
| 401 | '''WebVideo/TheRapCritic:''' Yep.\ |
| 402 | '''Todd:''' Okay. Hi, I'm the really talented one who became really successful and got lots of fans.\ |
| 403 | '''Rap Critic:''' And I'm the also-talented one who started at around the same time, but didn't really break through until I joined an independent group years later.\ |
| 404 | '''Todd:''' And we were friends at first, but then I stopped talking to you once I had new and better friends, leaving you to become bitter and jealous and badmouth me in public, leading to us hating each other.\ |
| 405 | '''Rap Critic:''' And that... wait. That didn't happen between us. I don't remember any of tha--\ |
| 406 | '''Todd:''' And I took my hatred out on you by doing everything in my power to prevent you from being picked up on Channel Awesome, including spreading rumors that you flash old ladies on the street.\ |
| 407 | '''Rap Critic:''' Wait a minute, is this why I keep getting e-mails from people calling me a sex offender?\ |
| 408 | '''Todd:''' Then we made up, and now we're totally best friends and we collaborate all the time.\ |
| 409 | '''Rap Critic:''' Uh...yeah. So...so does this mean you wanted to do another review with me? 'Cause I have this new idea for a crossover that we could--\ |
| 410 | '''Todd:''' All right, nice to see ya. |
| 411 | * Todd is excited to hear this song, as he thinks that collaborating with Royce the 5'9'' will bring him back to his former glory, especially in that their name duo is called "Bad Meets Evil". |
| 412 | -->'''Todd:''' Come on, Em! Come on, Royce! Let's see you tear this mother up! GO! GO! GO!\ |
| 413 | '''Music/BrunoMars:''' ''[[MoodWhiplash [singing the chorus softly on a piano]]]'' This one's for you and me, living out our dreams, we are right where we should be. With our arms out wide, I'll open my eyes. All I want to see is a sky full of lighters!\ |
| 414 | '''Todd:''' Sooooo...would this be "bad" or "evil" that I'm listening to? |
| 415 | * "Unfortunately, [Eminem] brought in the dreariest hook ever, courtesy of official Todd In The Shadows Enemy List member, Bruno Mars. ...This sounds like something Music/{{Coldplay}} would refuse to release for being too boring! If Eminem was rapping over one of those 'sounds of nature' [=CDs=], it would sound more exciting than this." |
| 416 | * |
| 417 | -->'''Todd:''' Let's get to Eminem's verse. Now I'll be honest, my expectations are so low that I expect this entire verse to blow. I mean, there's no way this verse could be any good.\ |
| 418 | '''Eminem:''' ♪Fighters keep fighting, put your lighters up, point em' skyward, uh! / Had a dream I was king, I woke up, still king. / This rap game's nipple is mine for the milking♪\ |
| 419 | '''Todd:''' And Eminem proves me completely right! Things I learned today: the rap game has nipples. |
| 420 | * Cutting from Bruno Mars to Music/MotleyCrue. |
| 421 | * |
| 422 | -->'''Todd:''' I do find it kind of hilarious that Eminem, the man so angry and hateful towards gays that he was protested in the streets, has now released some of the man-crushiest songs ever written. Now, one might be tempted to suggest that Eminem is repressing some hidden desires, but, of course that would be crude to insinuate. I don't see anything serious to support that suggestion, except for this one part in the song '''AND ITS CONSTANT REFERENCES TO DICKS!'''\ |
| 423 | '''Eminem:''' ♪And pardon me if I'm a cocky prick, but you cocks are slick / Who you dicks try to kid, flipped dick, you did the opposite / You stayed the same, cause cock backwards is still cock you pricks / I love it when I tell em shove it♪\ |
| 424 | '''Todd:''' And in conclusion, penis, penis, penis. |
| 425 | * "Yeah, I'll whip out my lighter...set fire to this CD. Except this is not a lighter. It's a cell phone. And this is also not actually the Bad Meets Evil CD...because I no longer actually buy physical [=CDs=]. But totally imagine that I was so enraged that I actually set something on fire. That's how angry I am! Rrrrr! I'm Todd In The Shadows, I listen to it 'cause you don't want to." |
| 426 | [[/folder]] |
| 427 | |
| 428 | [[folder:LMFAO - "Sexy and I Know It"]] |
| 429 | * [[http://thebutterfly.deviantart.com/art/Sexy-And-I-Know-It-270284511?q=gallery%3Athebutterfly%2F8183408&qo=7 The title card. Just...the title card.]] |
| 430 | * The intro with Todd refusing to play the song and arguing with the caption. |
| 431 | * Todd attempts to prepare his viewers for the horror that is the music video. |
| 432 | -->'''Todd:''' You see, LMFAO are sexy...and ''they'' know it...and they want ''you'' to know it. And that can only mean one thing.\ |
| 433 | '''[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS7E10TheSimpsons138thEpisodeSpectacular Troy McClure]]:''' Hardcore nudity! |
| 434 | * Todd's reaction to the JigglePhysics [[BrainBleach on display]] in the video. |
| 435 | --> '''Todd:''' ♪If you're sexy and you know it, flop your dick♪ Flop, flop, flop... The jiggling is almost hypnotic. Oh, God, all WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons references in the world aren't gonna get me through this... |
| 436 | * |
| 437 | -->'''LMFAO:''' When I'm at the beach, I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks (what)\ |
| 438 | '''Caption:''' [[AC:butts lolololol]]\ |
| 439 | '''Todd:''' These guys have the wit of fifth-graders! [[InsultToRocks And not bright ones, either.]] |
| 440 | * "Their second album, 'Sorry for Party Rocking', could probably have been more accurately named 'Sorry for SUCKING'." |
| 441 | * [[WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh Oancitizen's]] cameo ("I sat through a whole film [[Film/TrashHumpers where people had sex with garbage]], and you can't get through a simple little song just because it has two men dancing with their underwear on?") leading to Todd's attempt at Deep Lyrical Analysis...and then Todd deciding "Screw it! This song sucks because it sucks!" |
| 442 | * TheStinger at the end is Benzaie's theme song for if he was gay. |
| 443 | -->"Why did that end like the Thriller vi-- Never mind!" |
| 444 | * Todd's confession in the stinger: [[ActuallyPrettyFunny "Okay, it's a LITTLE funny that he tears off his Speedo and there's a Speedo underneath."]] |
| 445 | [[/folder]] |
| 446 | |
| 447 | [[folder:T-Pain ft. Wiz Khalifa & Lily Allen - "5 O'Clock"]] |
| 448 | * Todd posted the episode to his blip account before it was finished, and as a result, a few lucky fans saw Todd '''not in the Shadows!''' Needless to say, Todd took down the video as soon as he realized what had gone wrong, citing some "serious problems." |
| 449 | * The way he sings the word "AutoTune", with Auto-Tune, when he first brings the topic up. |
| 450 | ** (''Auto-Tuned voice'') "Hey, why don't I do the whole review with my voice Auto-Tuned?" (''normal voice'') "Actually, let's not, that'd get old really fast." |
| 451 | * Todd demonstrating how T-Pain would sample "[[Music/NoDoubt Don't Speak]]", "[[Music/TheFugees Killing Me Softly]]" and "[[ChristmasSongs The Hippopotamus Song]]". |
| 452 | -->'''Music/GwenStefani:''' ♪Don't speak♪\ |
| 453 | '''Todd:''' (''as T-Pain'') ♪No speakin'♪\ |
| 454 | '''Gwen:''' ♪I know what you're thinkin'♪\ |
| 455 | '''Todd:''' (''as T-Pain'') ♪You know I'm thinkin about makin' love♪ |
| 456 | |
| 457 | -->'''Music/LaurynHill:''' ♪Killing me softly with his song♪\ |
| 458 | '''Todd:''' (''as T-Pain'') ♪I'll be killing her softly in the bedroom♪ |
| 459 | |
| 460 | -->'''Gayle Peevey:''' ♪I want a hippopotamus for Christmas♪\ |
| 461 | '''Todd:''' (''as T-Pain'') ♪By "hippopotamus", she means she wants my dick!♪ |
| 462 | * "Ok, in case you don't know, Lily Allen is a pretty big deal in the U.K., but she never really gained much of a foothold in America, so I'm guessing most of you are probably not familiar with her unless you're one of those Pitchfork-reading snobs who constantly name-drops Europop singers and how they're so much better than our American crap. (quickly) [[HypocriticalHumor By the way, that last album by Swedish pop star]] Music/{{Robyn}} was actually really good and she's way better than any of that Ke$ha crap and you should totally listen to it." |
| 463 | * |
| 464 | -->'''Todd:''' Look, I understand the need to party. I get it. I am not a stranger to partying 'til the break of dawn.\ |
| 465 | ''[cut to Todd in front of his TV]''\ |
| 466 | '''Todd:''' [[VideoGame/{{Okami}} Feeding that dog gave me +9 to my karma!]] |
| 467 | * T-Pain's girlfriend is waiting for him to get back home: |
| 468 | -->'''Todd:''' I'm sure he has good reasons for delaying.\ |
| 469 | '''T-Pain:''' ♪These females got me stallin'♪\ |
| 470 | '''Todd:''' Ah, uh... I'm trying to work with you here, dude. |
| 471 | * "I'm sure you're a nice guy, Music/TPain, but there are ''[over a picture of Bender from WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}]'' other rich, talented robots out there." |
| 472 | * Todd's rewrite of the chorus at the very end; the AutoTune makes it even more hilarious: |
| 473 | --> '''Todd:''' ♪It's 5 O'Clock in the morning / And I'm in deep craaaap / So sorry baby, ICanExplain / [[ExiledToTheCouch Please don't make me sleep up on the couch]] / I'm Todd in the Shado-o-o-ows and I'm out♪ |
| 474 | * Music/TPain: "I can hear your voice in my head like, what is he doing? What is doing?" |
| 475 | -->'''Todd:''' Well, he's not volunteering at your local homeless shelter, I can tell you that! |
| 476 | * "Fortunately, we've got an awesome guest rapper to improve this. A talented young man by the name of...I can't even finish that." |
| 477 | -->'''Todd:''' ''[completely deadpan]'' This is Wiz Khalifa. He did a song a while back I reviewed. He's not very good. |
| 478 | [[/folder]] |
| 479 | |
| 480 | [[folder:Justin Bieber - "Mistletoe"]] |
| 481 | * The return of [picks up glass, takes a sip of water] '''''BIEEEBERRRRR!''''' |
| 482 | * "Justin Bieber is quite possibly the most unlikable, most uncharismatic performer to get popular since the hey-day of Music/VanillaIce." |
| 483 | * "I started to get interested in Bieber's Christmas album after I found his rendition of 'Little Drummer Boy'. I might have to give this a chance. ...Of course, Bieber's performance is awful because trying to inject soul into 'pa-rum-pa-pum-pum' makes you sound like a dipshit. But I did happen to notice one very encouraging thing about his performance. Bieber's voice is finally changing!" Cue the Hallelujah Chorus starting in the background. |
| 484 | * |
| 485 | -->'''Todd:''' ''[[[ThisIsGoingToSuck it starts to dawn on him]]]'' This is a white guy with acoustic guitar song. ''[{{beat}}]'' '''[[SuddenlyShouting This is a WHITE GUY WITH ACOUSTIC GUITAR SONG!]]''' Justin Bieber, Justin freaking Bieber, world's whitest of white boys, doing an acoustic guitar song! Oh, ''thank you'', Bieber! Two of my least favorite things in music combined! [[SarcasmMode Looks like I got my Christmas present early!]]" |
| 486 | * |
| 487 | -->'''Todd:''' Who the hell associates this kind of fratty white reggae with the holidays? The only Christmas song I can think of that sounds like that is "Mele Kalikimaka", and that's about Christmas in Hawaii. And judging by the video, I don't think that's what they were going for. Seriously, you can't just throw some bells on a song and call it a Christmas carol!\ |
| 488 | '''DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince:''' ♪Summer, summer, summertime♪ ''[with sleigh bells over it]'' |
| 489 | [[/folder]] |
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