Line #79 Funny/NoGodsOnlyGuns


1	* Is Mister Torgue in the chapter you're reading? Then it's probably a hilarious moment.
2	* When Brick approaches Tali while she's being attacked by Fist's goons, she tries to shoot him, thinking he's another bandit. He yanks the shotgun out of her hand, so she [[HyperspaceArsenal draws a pistol from her SDU.]] Brick grabs that gun too. Then she draws an assault rifle, and he snatches that. Then she draws a sniper rifle, and [[ExtendedDisarming he knocks that out of her hand.]] Then she draws a ''rocket launcher''.
3	-->'''Brick''': [[LampshadeHanging How many goddamned guns you got in there?!]]
4	* Most of the dialogue between Tali and Brick.
5	-->“Do we have a plan?” Tali asked, mind racing. Brick shrugged.
6	-->[[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer “Punch ‘em till they die from it?”]] he suggested.
7	-->“That’s not a plan!” she muttered.
8	* Torgue-Urdnot: Because ''[[StuffBlowingUp fuck]] [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill subtle.]]''
9	** To elaborate: Mr. Torgue's [[EstablishingCharacterMoment first appearance]] in the fanfic consists of him speaking in [[NoIndoorVoice nothing but caps,]] [[spoiler: blowing up ten floors of his own headquarters, and shaping the resulting explosion into a giant middle finger leveled right at Maliwan and Hyperion's headquarters.]] While playing air guitar, no less.
10	-->THAT IS HOW TORGUE-URDNOT DOES BUSINESS, MOTHERF''[[SoundEffectBleep bleep]]''ERS!!
11	* The sheer DeadpanSnarker of the narrator in this line:
12	-->"Swift death to the robot-abusing pig ***ers! And then, we shall slay those who programmed the autocensor into my voice module!"
13	-->'''Narrator''': Claptrap provided emotional support.
14	** Also in this line:
15	-->...and the last scumbag has told him said quarry was sending a few of his best men to have a chat with on Chloe Michel, M.D.
16	-->So Brick did what anyone with said information would do when confronted with a locked door.
17	-->[[BaitAndSwitch He knocked.]] [[BoringButPractical Politely.]]
18	** Aaaand these lines:
19	--> ''"Gaige engineer."''
20	--> "Holy freaking crankshaft!"
21	--> The first words spoken in peace between humanity and the geth [[MoralGuardians would likely be kept out of the histories.]]
22	** Salvador rampaging through a neighborhood on Omega, murdering dozens of Blood Pack mercs in a tidal wave of bullets.
23	--> So, y'know.
24	--> [[ButForMeItWasTuesday Tuesday for Omega.]]
25	* In the early chapters, the Lance boss tells his men that Roland's crew have defected. "All loyal squad members have been brutally executed, and likely, I dunno, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick dismembered and teabagged."]]
26	* Claptrap complaining that porn isn't legal tender.
27	* When Vega, Axton, and Garrus get done killing an entire warehouse of Eclipse mercs, they start to leave. [[StuffBlowingUp Then a car randomly explodes]] [[UnflinchingWalk behind them for no reason.]]
28	* Niftu Cal. [[spoiler: Actual '''BIOTIC GOD.''']]
29	* The sheer amount of SeenItAll from the people on Illium.
30	** Massive gunfight raging in the building next door to the trading hub. Some people flee. Others? They just activate kinetic barriers and keep on trading.
31	** Moxxi off-handedly mentioning that she has special insurance to protect her bar from human-related violence.
32	** When Niftu Cal enters the Dantius Towers and [[spoiler: starts throwing Eclipse mercs around]], human and turian onlookers start taking bets. When he [[spoiler: hurls a giant desk into the next wave of Eclipse mercs while shouting his status as a '''BIOTIC GOD''']], they respond by betting ''even more.''
33	** And according to Char-Nobyl's scene in Chapter 10, overlapping corporate raids are technically classified as natural disasters by Illium insurance companies.
34	* Some of the displays of awesome badassitude are hysterically funny just because of their unexpected source. Take Ambassador Udina nonchalantly wiping the walls with Nine-Toes, for example. Or [[spoiler:Niftu Cal effortlessly plowing through a pile of mercenaries.]]
35	* Niftu Cal is simultaneously one of these and a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome with every word out of his mouth.
36	-->I am Niftu Cal! '''[[AGodAmI I am a BIOTIC GOD!]]''' '''[[LargeHam And you will SMELL MY GREATNESS!]]'''
37	* After hearing that there are no less than ''three'' other merc teams are [[spoiler: assaulting Nassana's HQ,]] Roland mentions that they'd better get started with their plan [[TemptingFate before someone else gets involved.]] [[GilliganCut Immediately after:]]
38	-->'''[[spoiler: Handsome Jack:]]''' I was thinking about just sitting this one out, [[LampshadeHanging but if that's not an invitation, I don't know what is!]]
39	* Joker was expecting to steal a freighter. He was not expecting a Hyperion fast-attack frigate. He and Angel eagerly steal it anyway.
40	* Niftu Cal trying and eventually giving up on re-enacting that scene from that turian remake of the asari remake of the [[Film/TheMatrix old human movie]]. The bullets, they are just too small!
41	* Okeer trolling Nassana. Even funnier when you consider that it's a word-for-word ShoutOut to VideoGame/DeusExHumanRevolution.
42	-->'''Nassana''': Okeer? How did you get this frequency?
43	-->'''Okeer''': Ancient krogan secret.
44	* Just before this, one of the Eclipse soldiers mentions that Niftu Cal got into an argument with a water cooler...and he lost.
45	** Then he plows right through the rolling BlastOut in the executive levels because [[BrickJoke he has a rebuttal for the water cooler]].
46	** Niftu Cal interrupts his debate with the water cooler because Zaeed told him about [[Videogame/FalloutNewVegas a toaster planning to trigger an apocalypse.]]
47	* Mr. Torgue referring to Niftu Cal as a "TINY BIOTIC PINBALL OF PURE GODD***N BADASS."
48	* The [[ApprovalOfGod canonized]] snippet from Char-Nobyl, found in Chapter 10. Short story shorter, it's serious MuggingTheMonster at work there.
49	** This line from the snippet:
50	-->The megacorps were always running operations against each other, ranging in subtlety from "covert" to [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill "Torgue."]]
51	* Niftu Cal managing to get Nassana's frequency... in which he says a line so ''incredibly absurd,'' even [[WorldOfHam for this]] [[WorldGoneMad story]], that [[EveryoneHasStandards even Handsome Jack is confused.]]
52	-->"I am a '''BIOTIC GOD''', mortal! [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext And I can]] '''[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext SMELL YOUR FREQUENCIES!]]'''"
53	** Jack recovers nicely, however. So nicely, in fact, he manages to take Zaeed's notion to the next "logical" step by extracting the toaster along with the '''BIOTIC GOD'''.
54	* [[ExplosiveInstrumentation 'Splode-hacking.]] The only way Mister Torgue hacks things is when it results in the target's IT team screaming because their faces got hacked.
55	* When Lilith needs to contact Okeer, she asks everyone who has any tech-savvy to help out. The whole team starts activating their omnitools...including [[spoiler: ''Bloodwing'']].
56	-->'''Lilith''': Wait, [[spoiler: your ''bird'']] has an omnitool?
57	* It's worth mentioning that thanks to the various fans screwing around, making headcanons, and pointing out FridgeBrilliance, the Spacebattles threads for the story are also hilarious. Highlights include realizing that {{mooks}} are issued white gear because it's cheap and not worth looting and because their bosses realize how expendable they are, realizing that the human equivalent of insurance comes in guns, ('''Doctor Fluffy''': So ''that's'' why Hyperion has a line of sniper rifles known as the Policy) The crowning moment, however, is likely [[MassOhCrap everyone's]] reaction when someone [[FridgeBrilliance realized]] that [[spoiler:Nazara/ Sovereign]] is a [[spoiler:PSYCHO-SIREN-REAPER.]] [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity]] and {{Freak Out}}s abounded, [[OverlyLongGag for well over a page]], punctuated by notes from the author that "[[Series/{{Firefly}} mine is an]] [[EvilLaugh evil laugh]]".
58	* '''Chapter Eleven: [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin People Getting Shot In The Face]]'''
59	** '''MANY''' moments, but the highlight is likely the FISTING-BOOMING SHITPUNCHER [[CurbStompBattle curb-stomping]] three Maliwan frigates and a cruiser, the last one by ''punching'' it.
60	--> Abruptly, every comm system in Nos Astra flickered, and Mister Torgue’s muscled specter appeared on every vid screen and holographic projector in the city, as well as in most of the ships in orbit.
61	-->“I’M GONNA GET FINED SO MUCH FOR THIS AND I DON’T GIVE A F***!” He leapt up onto his chair - a massive throne made of guns and missile launchers - and began playing a thrashing air guitar solo.
62	-->“MEEEEEEEEEOWOWOWOMEEDLYMEEDLYMEEDLYMEEDLYOWOWOWOOOOOOOOOOOOWOOOOOWAAAAAAAHWAAAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWAAAAAOWWWWW!”
63	** The aforementioned CurbstompBattle is described as "being Torgue'd and Urdnot'd."
64	** TheStinger for that chapter, involving [[spoiler: Face [=McShooty=]]].
65	** When [[spoiler: Nassana]] is finally killed, everyone starts cheering, looting the body, or catching their breath. Then Zaeed points out that [[spoiler: they needed her encryption key]], which likely didn't survive the explosion.
66	-->'''Feron''': [[NiceJobBreakingItHero ...oops?]]
67	* Pretty much anytime Gaige indulges in her MadScientist tendencies, [[SkewedPriorities up to and including in the middle of combat.]] Her reaction to being attacked by the geth on Virmire is to {{Squee}} and beg Deathtrap to be careful when killing them so she can take the intact geth apart herself.
68	* '''[[HandshakeSubstitute ROBROFIST.]]'''
69	* Udina's reaction to everything about Gaige.
70	-->Let me get this straight. If what I’m hearing is correct, the most important documentation regarding synthetic-organic relations, and evidence that could lead to lasting peace between humanity and the geth… is a ''podcast''.
71	* "I'm the one with the [[spoiler: [[CoolHorse goddamn horse made of diamonds.]]]]"
72	* Saren's [[FlatWhat reaction]] when Gaige [[spoiler: unintentionally annihilates his entire Virmire operation while looking for spare parts.]]
73	-->'''Gaige''': Gethtrap was all ‘recommend reconnaissance’ and ‘request reinforcements’ and ‘advise extreme discretion’ but I was all whatev. So we attacked the place.
74	** Then Sovereign's reaction: subscribe to her ECHO channel.
75	* The entirety of Tali's visit to Hev'Sharro's office. Highlights include Brick and Tali (poorly) trying to imitate Jules Winnifield's interrogation from Film/PulpFiction and revealing there's an Asari and Elcor version of it, the reveal that [[ExtremeOmnivore Brick's stomach can somehow process dextro-amino meat,]] and Brick stealing someone's PornStash, implying that he's an ExtremeOmnisexual.
76	* Maya's snarkery and close-to OnlySaneMan status.
77	-->“Hey, guys,” Maya cut in. “Is... anyone else concerned that our Plan B appears to be ‘Fight the entire planet?’”
78	** Brick, Shepard, and Nihlus immediately act like that isn't a concern, just shrugging it off.
79	* Any time Peptuck [[TrollingCreator answers a question.]] And the lunacy that follows. Particularly the entries that invoke BrainBleach, like an asari version of Piston.
80	--> "HOW MANY [[ExoticEquipment AZURES]] DO YOU HAVE? ONE? '''''[[TooMuchInformation I HAVE THIRTEEN!]]'''''
81	* This line when Gaige offers to "upgrade" the damaged Geth-Buddy you can almost imagine the panic in their voice.
82	-->"This platform is not available for experimentation," Geth-Buddy hastily said.
83	* Charns bad luck. Slave raid? You are attacking Salvadors home planet. High bounty on a single human schoolgirl? Gaige.

Context Funny / NoGodsOnlyGuns