Line #69 Funny/MediaWhorz


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2
3	[[folder: Spider-Man]]
4	* The very beginning of the review: "Hello, I'm Kora, and welcome to Media Whorz. Where we get screwed by it so you don't have to." Cue a brief silence. "I don't think that tagline's gonna work."
5	** Offscreen, Caveman barks, "Shut up! We'll fix it in editing."
6	* Also, when they talk about the Green Goblin's costume:
7	** '''GO GO GOBLIN RANGERS!!!'''
8	* When Kora talked about one of Green Goblin's bombs turning people into skelotons, Kora dubbed it "The Thriller Bomb." Then, they had this conversation:
9	--> '''Kora:''' Now, where do you get something like that? eBay?
10	--> '''Caveman:''' evilBay.
11	--> '''Kora:''' Do your enemies still posess an annoyingly large amount of flesh? Help them shed those unwanted organs with the Thriller Bomb. evilBay. Buy. Sell. Kill. evilBay. For all of your villianous needs. Warning: May cause post mortem dancing.
12	[[/folder]]
13
14	[[folder: Spider-Man 2]]
15	* They played this audio clip over James Franco talking at the party:
16	-->"My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!"
17	* Birdy responds to the "Punch me, I bleed" quote by saying "Stab me, I die." Caveman says, "Okay." He tries it and there's technical difficulties.
18	--> '''Birdy:''' Caveman...
19	--> '''Caveman:''' Hey, at least I gave you a full-res. You don't need to be angry.
20	* After Kora compares Peter Parker to a white version of Erkel, Caveman replies, "Many eons ago, it was told that he would come and break your coffee tables and hit on your attractive teenage daughters.
21	[[/folder]]
22
23	[[folder: The Princess Bride]]
24	* The boys make a "Death-By-Suction-Cup" joke followed by a TakeThat to 4kids.
25	* Also, when they talked about how the boy was interrupting the story that we were watching, Kora replies, "Who do you think usually interrupts these films?" Then he puts on a Caveman mask, saying, "Come on! What's with all the kissing? You didn't say there would be kissing!"
26	[[/folder]]
27
28	[[folder: Spider-Man 3]]
29	* The beginning of the review when Caveman squashes a replica of black-suited Spider-man.
30	* While they talk about the dance scene, Kora puts up a montage of clips from the dance scene spliced with clips of dance scenes from ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir''.
31	--> '''Kora:''' Emo Emo [[VideoGame/DanceDanceRevolution Revolution]]
32	* While they talk over a clip of Spider-Man's confrontation with Sandman in the subway, we see captions on the screen saying, "'''Hello. My name is Emo Montoya. You killed my Uncle. I am prepared to whine.'''"
33	* While the roundtable talks about Sandman and Kora comes up with the theory of the scientists testing their machine on strawberries.
34	--> '''Kora:''' Would he be Milkshake Man?\
35	'''Caveman:''' The most delicious villain to ever cross Spider-Man's path!
36	** Also
37	--> '''Kora:''' He was genetically fused with a frickin' litterbox.\
38	'''Jimmy Esco:''' His worst enemy... Catman!
39	* When they talked about Eddie Brock having sharp yellow teeth, Kora replied, "I was thinking, 'Quick! Shine a light on him! He'll sparkle!'"
40	* When Kora griped about a complete lack of an explanation on what kind of fuel Harry's glider runs on, Caveman suggested that it runs on "Plotium."
41	[[/folder]]
42
43	[[folder: The Phantom]]
44	* While examining the Phantom's costume, Kora calls him "The Unambiguously Gay Uno"
45	* While the wolf informed the horse about our heroes in trouble, Kora voiced the horse saying, "What's that? Kitty fell down a well?"
46	* Kora pretending to be the makers of the film
47	--> "Any ideas for his base?" "Uhhh... How about a huge skull. Carved out of stone in a huge mountainside." "Any other ideas?" "[[Film/BatmanAndRobin How about a neon lit ice-cream factory]]." "You're fired."
48	[[/folder]]
49
50	[[folder: Akira]]
51	* When the group talks about how [[spoiler: Akira]] is actually "a soft drink," they make constant jokes about it.
52	* Also when they make the joke of [[http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=MediaWhorz#/d3lg3fn Kaneda and Tetsuo running at each other]] screaming each other's names as usual, and then we see [[http://phantom-blood.deviantart.com/art/Kaneda-and-Tetsuo-2-217421643 this]]:
53	[[/folder]]
54
55	[[folder: The Cape]]
56	* During the montage of Vince Faraday's training which included, as they put it, "Disappearing, Hypnotism, Midget Wrestling, and... Cross-dressing?"
57	[[/folder]]
58
59	[[folder: The Andromeda Strain (2008)]]
60	* The beginning of ''Series/TheAndromedaStrain'' 2008 mini-series remake.
61	--> '''Kora''': "Today we're reviewing.... (Yawning) heee anromma hein. Ugh. I need someone with more energy to say this."
62	--> (''Clip of Yakko saying "Andromeda Strain"'')
63	--> '''Kora''': "Thank you, [[WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}} Yakko]]."
64	* Kora said that all the notes he took while watching ''The Andromeda Strain'' contained "variations of the word 'boring'." [[file:///Users/restrictedarea/Desktop/Picture%2014.png Take a look]]
65	* At one point, Birdy pointed out that acidosis has no relation to your amount of stomach acid. After they show a clip that stated otherwise, Kora says, "We actually have a doctor present and I'd like to see what his views of that statement are." Then he shows a clip from Series/{{Scrubs}} with [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrjwaqZfjIY Dr. Cox singing his "You're wrong!" song]].
66	--> '''Kora:''' I don't think he approves.
67	* When Birdy says that that the actors' line delivery was as bland as another person delivering a Burger King menu, he spliced a clip of [[Series/BlackBooks Bernard Black]] working a fast food counter. The caption dialogue is good.
68	--> '''Bernard:''' Did they just splice me into their Andromeda Strain review?
69	--> '''Customer:''' Uh... Yeah. Looks like it.
70	--> '''Bernard:''' Fuck...
71	* After Caveman analyzes what kind of paradox the Andromeda Strain virus is, he plays a clip from ''Film/{{Scanners}}'' with the [[YourHeadAsplode exploding head]] with a caption saying "Damn Paradoxes!" with another clip of someone saying, "And now for someone completely different."
72	* While Caveman was explaining a dramatic plot twist in the climax of the mini-series, we see a picture of a buy with black hair talking to a blond guy with sunglasses sitting at a desk typing on a computer. We're treated to captions given what they say.
73	--> '''Person A:''' What are you doing?
74	--> '''Person B:''' I'm programming a message in ASCII that will tell the researchers from the past how to destroy Andromeda
75	--> '''Person A:''' ...Couldn't you just write a letter?
76	--> '''Person B:''' If I did that, they might figure it out before the climax.
77	** Then, Caveman starts an enraged rant about the whole thing. Cut back to the picture of the two guys...
78	--> '''Person A:''' You're a moron, aren't you?
79	[[/folder]]
80
81	[[folder:The Thing (2011)]]
82	* After the DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment moment at the beginning of the review, he said there should have been number or extra part of the title. After Caveman proposes "The Thing Begins," Kora's idea for a title for the film was "The Same Old Fucking Thing."
83	* While the roundtable (except Jimmy) were talking about the issues with the CGI, Kora said this:
84	--> I often thought to myself, "Quick! Run from the computer! It's gonna get you!"
85	* Also the voice-over of Pablo Fransisco's ridiculing of horror movie protagonists while they were talking about "Horror Stupidity Syndrome."
86	[[/folder]]
87
88	[[folder:The Thing (1982)]]
89	* At the beginning of the review when Caveman says, "Let's take a look at the lower reaches..." Then Kora gives him a weird look. Caveman then replies, "Of the ''earth!'' As I throw this to the round table.
90	* While talking about the outside gunshots scene, Birdy said, "Penguin violence is on the rise!" Then, Jimmy Esco sees a penguin next to him and says, "Shoot this fool!" Then he got shot by the penguin.
91	* After Caveman said that McCreedy poured coffee into the computer after loosing a chess game to it, we get this exchange:
92	--> '''Birdy:''' That wasn't coffee! That was scotch!
93	--> '''Jimmy Esco:''' 100% scotch, 0% coffee, and 1% coffee thought. That's 101%. If you have a problem with our math, take it up with our art department.
94	--> '''Kora:''' Why the hell do I have to defend your crappy-ass math skills!
95	** Then we see an image of an attempt of (1/n)*sin(''x'') = ? leading up to si''x'' = 6.
96	[[/folder]]
97
98	[[folder:Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad]]
99	* After Kora points out Chiba's similarities in appearance to Caveman, Caveman puts on his ocular saying, "I have no clue what you're talking about. I have no idea who he resembles, save for Jimmy here, and if you continue to press the issue, I have one thing to say..." And then presents a voice clip of Justin Cook saying, "Get off me, bitch!"
100	* When they talk about the animation, Caveman freaks out over the "floating heads."
101	[[/folder]]
102
103	[[folder:Vampire Wars]]
104	* Early on the review, Caveman said that the main character, Cookie, had superpowers. Then Jimmy Esco announced to us what they are.
105	--> '''Jimmy Esco:''' Other than his super-neck, which composes about 33% of his body, Super Strength, Super Hop, Bulletproof Mech, Regeneration, [[BottomlessMagazines Bullet Creation]], Super Dick (Censored), Cookie-portation, [[TheAlcoholic Super Liver]], and Tron Vision.
106	* How about this exchange when they were talking about the akwardness of the fact that Lamia's mom, (she's actually an aunt, and there was even a caption saying so) piloting a helicopter.
107	--> '''Caveman:''' It was probably like: "We need a pilot, but we don't wanna use some generic pilot. Let's use the mom."
108	--> '''Birdy:''' Need a helicopter pilot? The mom! Need someone with in innate knowledge of blood chemistry? The mom!
109	--> '''Caveman:''' Need someone to bite you collar bone? Surprisingly, the girl!
110	* Caveman saying he would love to watch a two-hour version of Vampire Wars, due to the "sparkle-sparkle-boy" vampire.
111	* After Caveman says he could make the concept of Vampire Wars actually work, Kora points out that having him codenamed "Bat" would be a problem. Then Caveman said that he could make it his "Special Weapon" Jimmy Esco then says, "That would be a tenth power. He summons a bat."
112	[[/folder]]
113
114	[[folder:Kora's Top Ten Anime Villians]]
115	* The very end, after the countdown, where Kora announces, "WebVideo/MediaWhorz will be back with a new review sometime soon and... I think we're gonna be reviewing Hellsing next!" We then see a clip from the OVA, followed by big letters saying, "NOT THAT ONE" Kora says, "Wait... it's not that one..." We see a screenshot from Hellsing TV with that same text saying "THAT ONE" and Kora's reaction is just priceless.
116	[[/folder]]
117
118	[[folder:Hellsing]]
119	* After showing a brief clip from episode 6 to point out the inconsistent and hilariously bad animation, we see them write, "What the Hell!?!?!?" in the form of an edited version of the Hellsing title screen where the "sing" was covered up with exclamation points and question marks, and the words, "What the" were above it.
120	* They made fun of how Walter survived a helicopter crash in the final episode.
121	--> '''Kora''': (as Walter) [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Team Walter is blasting off AGAAAAIIINNNNN!!!]]
122	* Also after Kora talked about how Alucard kills Incognito, complete with three "What?!"s from Doctor Who.
123	--> '''Jimmy Esco''': But...
124	--> '''Caveman''': Magic!
125	--> '''Jimmy Esco''': But he could have...
126	--> '''Caveman''': Magic!
127	--> '''Jimmy Esco''': have turned them into...
128	--> '''Caveman''': Magic!
129	--> '''Jimmy Esco''': into giant silver stakes of death or...
130	--> '''Caveman''': Magic!
131	--> '''Jimmy Esco''': or just smacked him with the cross, then...
132	--> '''Caveman''': Magic!
133	--> '''Jimmy Esco''': then he wouldn't have had to use the broken handgun...
134	--> '''Caveman''': Jurisdiction!
135	--> '''Jimmy Esco''': It made no sense!
136	* Also when the roundtable members started talking about Incognito, Kora then asks Birdy if he's all right. Then we see Birdy having a large, swelling eye with a red sclera to look like Incognito's.
137	--> '''Birdy''': Shouldn't've... put all that crack in my eye!
138	* And when they were talking about Peter Fargenson, or [[FanNickname "Moving Scar"]] as they like to call him due to how [[OffModel his scar moved around from frame to frame]].
139	--> '''Birdy''': I have a few problems with Moving Scar. Besides the fact that he seemed to have a mobile form of cancer.\
140	'''Caveman''': Naw, you got it wrong. It's obviously a worm beneath the flesh.\
141	'''Kora''': No, you both have it wrong. Since it's only a temporary tattoo, he had to put it on each day and never got its positioning quite right.
142	** Then we see Peter having a picture of Hello Kitty on his cheek with a caption saying "Damn it! Wrong tattoo!"
143	* During the end credits of the review, we see a written quote from Kora saying, "The Bird of Hermes is my name, but Damn, this show was kind of lame."
144	[[/folder]]
145
146	[[folder:Witch Hunter Robin]]
147	* Kora splices clips from Deadpool in with Witch Hunter Robin and voices him:
148	--> '''Kora''': (As Deadpool) Hey! Amon! It's me! Deadpool.... I killed you, remember? Wait a minute... Am I inside a web review? Sweet! I'm giving it a Turd Blossom!
149	* When it's Caveman's turn in the wrap-up, he says, "It sucks. 1/10." The rest of the round table stares, baffled at him, and so does Deadpool, and he just says, "Just kidding!"
150	[[/folder]]
151
152	[[folder:Constantine]]
153	* Kora wonders if he would end up in Hell if he were playing with his cat on his porch with his feet in a puddle, after seeing one such scene in the movie.
154
155	[[/folder]]
156
157	[[folder:Time Cop]]
158	* Kora's review of Film/TimeCop when he complained about the dating of each event, when he said the film took place, "In the far flung dystopian future... of 2004! Y'know... the Bush years!" And played Dun Dun DUN like music.
159	* Plus, Caveman went into a hissyfit saying, "The villain has an SUV! But the cops have a smart car!?" Kora's answer for this:
160	** "evilBay had a special rebate discount."
161	[[/folder]]
162
163	[[folder:Jonah Hex]]
164	* After the roundtable talks about the town blowing up after Jonah shoots a lamp, Kora says,"Boy, we don't take kindly to physics in these here parts." in a cowboy voice.
165	* Caveman's spizfit over Jonah having a superpower.
166	* After Kora, albeit reluctantly, praised Creator/MeganFox for her performance in the film, he says, "From now on, I'm gonna be a little less skeptical whenever she's in a movie." He then shows us a suggestive picture of her, with a caption saying, "I said 'a ''little'' less skeptical!'"
167	* When Jimmy Esco talked about Quenten Turnbull's son's dialogue with Jonah Hex, he used a rather hilarious accent.
168	[[/folder]]
169
170	[[folder:The Crow]]
171	* When Birdy mentioned the racist crows in ''WesternAnimation/{{Dumbo}}'', Kora and Caveman propose the idea of one of those crows giving his powers to an African-American version of The Crow.
172	[[/folder]]
173
174	[[folder:Super Mario Brothers]]
175	* At the begining of the review, after Caveman gave his introduction, Jimmy Esco then said, "Why did you make me watch this?" Caveman replies, "'Cuz I love watching you suffer."
176	* After Jimmy Esco compared the Mushroom Kingdom to ''Film/BladeRunner'' covered in fungus, Kora said, "It's like we're viewing it through A Scannner Dumbly by Phillip K. Dick-Cheese!
177	* After Caveman gives a plot summary of the film, Kora replies, "Why do I feel that that description resembles ''Anime/TheVisionOfEscaflowne'' on shrooms?"
178	* When Caveman described the plot for the film, he got into a raging frenzy when he got to the part with the "goombas" dancing in the elevator. After Birdy tried saying, "You forgot..." Caveman shouted "Anything I forget, I want to remain forgotten!"
179	* Exactly one second later, Jimmy Esco pointed out how small the heads of Koopa's henchmen are, even saying that one can die from having an apple dropped on his head. Cue a clip from Beetlejuice.
180	* After Caveman said he can tolerate good attempts at romance, Kora replies, "You've outright enjoyed good attempts." And shows a picture of Caveman in his own parody of ''Anime/TheGirlWhoLeaptThroughTime''.
181	[[/folder]]
182
183	[[folder:Max Payne]]
184	* Kora was in far more of a hissy fit than he was in previous reviews. Every time he got pissed off, this troper couldn't help but snicker.
185	* When they talk about when Max was shooting at bathroom stalls, Birdy than said, "He's literally shooting the shit." Then we hear clips from Kool-Aid commercials each time he blasts through a door.
186	* Kora's claim that the quote, "Stay away from Max Payne," refers to the quality of the film.
187	* While the group talks about Donal Logue's demise, Birdy pointed out the inconsistent camera work, calling it "seizure-cam." Kora says: "Hell, we were joking that he literally died from being beaten to death by the camera man."
188	* After Kora and Caveman talk about how they didn't recognize Chris O'Donnell in the film, Kora said, "Once you start thinking about it, analyzing it and trying to make sence of what you saw, there's only one emotional response that makes sense." [[spoiler: (''pause'') (''We see flame effects'') RAGE!!!]]
189	* How about after Caveman said that having long shots of Max Payne walking was for generating a nostalgic noir tone, Kora replies, "How!? Oh, people in the movies these days don't walk like they used to. They seem to focus their attention on, you know, '''GETTING SOMEWHERE'''!!!"
190	[[/folder]]
191
192	[[folder: Bloodrayne]]
193	* This dialogue:
194	--> '''Jimmy Esco:''' [Series/MichaelMadsen] had about as much enthusiasm for this movie as...
195	--> '''Caveman:''' We did.
196	--> '''Birdy:''' If not less.
197	--> '''Caveman:''' No, he showed up. If he has shown even less interest than us, he wouldn't have even shown up.
198	* Kora's rage fits were hilarious in this review as well. Especially after he blew a circuit after the film used a quote from ''Film/TheGodfather''. He even shouted, "Why even bother having original dialogue at this point!?" Then he gives the following script:
199	--> "[[Film/{{Casablanca}} Play it, Vlad. Play "As time goes by"]]."
200	--> "[[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey I'm sorry, Katarin. I can't do that.]] Because, [[Film/GoneWithTheWind frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn]].
201	--> "[[Film/CoolHandLuke What we've got here... is... failure to communicate.]]"
202	** Then Kora just goes into a breakout fit of rage and then lies down on his desk. There are words above him saying, "[[Film/ApocalypseNow The horror... the horror...]]
203	--> '''Jimmy Esco:''' I think we broke Kora.
204	* Kora mentioning the idea of a poster saying, "Got Blood?"
205	* Caveman wearing a wig similar to Music/{{Meatloaf}}'s in the film.
206	* Also, there's Kora's rage fit after he have his "Why Have You Forsaken Me?" rating.
207	* And let's not forget Birdy's responce to Bloodrayne wearing her usual costume despite the change in setting:
208	--> '''Birdy:''' That's like if Jimmy strapped on a Stormtrooper outfit and went off to fight the Romans!
209	--> '''Jimmy Esco:''' It would freak them out...
210	--> '''Kora:''' First things first... What type of [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII storm]][[Franchise/StarWars trooper]] outfit are we talking about here?
211	[[/folder]]
212
213	[[folder: Resident Evil]]
214	* How about this exchange:
215	--> '''Kora:'' Black guy's name in this movie was "One."
216	--> '''Jimmy Esco:''' Are you kidding me? His name was "One?" That was barely better than calling him "Black guy!"
217	--> ''(Jimmy's name tag got changed to read "Black Guy")''
218	--> '''Jimmy Esco:''' Hey! Change it back!
219
220	* Talking about the director:
221	--> '''Birdy:''' Anderson made ''Film/EventHorizon'', which is okay, and he also made ''Film/MortalKombatTheMovie'' which isn't a great movie but at least it's entertaining.
222	--> '''Jimmy Esco:''' See? He's not all bad.
223	--> '''Kora:''' He was also responsible for the first ''[[Film/AlienVsPreadator AVP]]'' movie.
224	--> '''Jimmy Esco:''' FUCK!
225	--> ''(Caveman pats Jimmy on the back)''
226	--> '''Jimmy Esco:''' [[HatesBeingTouched DON'T TOUCH ME!!!]]
227	[[/folder]]
228
229	[[folder: New Avatars and Benders]]
230	* Jimmy Esco's new avatar... [[spoiler: It's a girl! Then a bishounen! Then it was changed back to one that feels more like Jimmy.]]
231	[[/folder]]
232
233	[[folder: The Last Airbender]]
234	* Caveman mispronouncing every single name at the beginning of the review. Even the names that were pronounced right in the actual film.
235	* Caveman exploding over a continuity error in the film with Zuko firebending underwater even though in the film, firebenders need pre-existing fire.
236	--> '''Kora''': Consistency? Oh, he stepped out to lunch a while ago. Would you like to leave a message?
237	[[/folder]]
238
239	[[folder:House of the Dead]]
240	* Caveman's rant over the characters causes him to pass out because he doesn't want to talk about the characters.
241	--> '''Jimmy Esco''': What just happened?
242	--> '''Kora''': I... think he passed out from the rage.
243	--> '''Jimmy Esco''': Huh. So... characters?
244
245	* And on a related note...
246	--> '''Caveman''': ''(getting up all drowsy)'' Uh.... what are you guys talking about...
247	--> '''Birdy''': Nothing! Nothing! We were just talking about the... um... mad scientest guy from the [[Videogame/HouseOfTheDead video game.]]
248	--> '''Caveman''': Wasn't he like... the protagonist of... THIS STUPID ASS MOTHER FUCKING [[CurseCutShort PIECE OF...]]
249	--> '''Kora''': Oh, that's a good point. ''(tranquilizes Caveman)''

Context Funny / MediaWhorz