Line #16 Funny/KingsmanTheSecretService


1	!Per wiki policy, Administrivia/SpoilersOff applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.
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3	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/shootyou.png]]
4	[[caption-width-right:350:"''J.B., [[ShootTheDog I will shoot you]], [[DisproportionateRetribution God help me]], I will [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] shoot you!''"]]
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6	* One of the thug's OhCrap reaction when he realizes Eggsy stole his car, and watches helplessly as Eggsy performs multiple donuts right in front of him with it.
7	** Eggsy and his laughing mates merrily waving to the police behind (in front of?) them.
8	* Some of the newspaper headlines in Harry's office, like "Brad Pitt Ate My Sandwich" and "Naughty Nun Touched My Bum".
9	Look very closely and you'll see a headline reading "BCHES BE CRAZY".
10	* "I goddamn loved Professor Arnold!"
11	** Professor Arnold's [[YourHeadAsplode death]] is just full of BlackComedy. Harry has tracked him down and is interrogating him about who kidnapped him and the resulting death of Lancelot. Valentine then remotely detonates the chip in Arnold's head so he can't blab, and he starts screaming in agony -- [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Harry thinks this is because he's overreacting from the slap he just gave him]] -- moments before his head explodes:
12	--->'''Harry:''' For God's sake, I barely touched you! OH, MAN UP--\
13	['''''KABOOM''''']
14	** And Eggsy's {{squick}}ed-out reaction when he sees this on camera later on in the film.
15	--->'''Eggsy:''' '''''FUCKING hell!''''' That is RANK, Harry! You blew up his head?! [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill That's a bit much, innit?!]]
16	* Valentine's unsophisticated way of speaking in general. Even when commenting on his own top-hat.
17	-->'''Valentine:''' Now this is a dope-ass top hat.
18	* When Valentine is getting his hand scanned and/or fried by the biometric control system, he is [[ClusterFBomb swearing like a submariner]] and complaining about the pain. Gazelle asks "What's wrong with a simple switch?" and he interrupts his vulgarities to inform her that this thing is horribly important and incredibly dangerous and should only be able to be accessed by "someone as smart and sane as [he is]." He immediately pulls his hand off the scanner and waves it around with a few more curses, asking if they're done; Gazelle opens up the portable model for the church test.
19	-->'''Valentine:''' This one has a very short range, a simple switch ''will'' do.
20	* Gazelle's complete failure to grasp Valentine's bingo analogy.
21	-->'''Gazelle:''' ''[completely deadpan]'' Do I look like I play bingo?
22	* Eggsy choosing an adorable pug puppy, in the presumption it's a bulldog and expecting it to get a lot bigger.
23	** Eggsy running with the puppy bouncing in his vest after threatening it with an assault rifle when it refused to walk and it's forbidden for the exercise to [[ExactWords carry it by hand]].
24	** A bit of Black Comedy and YMMV, but when Eggsy is ordered to shoot the dog. Every time the scene cuts to JB's face, the "derp" nature of a pug's face kind of deflates the tension of the scene and turns it into one of these. tense three seconds of Taron Egerton's inner turmoil/Michael Caine glaring expectantly/JB: "derp?" Adding to the dark silliness is that JB [[NearlyNormalAnimal looks incredibly worried]].
25	* In a bit of FridgeBrilliance during their test to win over their target. While Roxy critisises Charlie's use of outdated seduction techniques, Eggsy suddenly interrupts, asking if their champagne also tastes off. Charlie mocks Eggsy's textbook tactic, with Eggsy looks on confused to what he's even going on about, explaining he really was there to ask them about the bad taste. Not only did Eggsy seem to have detected the drug that knocked them out, he unintentionally got the farthest with their target.
26	* Eggsy's impression of [[ThoseWackyNazis a certain German aristocrat's]] [[MilitarySalute formal greeting]].
27	** Harry's exasperated reply.
28	--->'''Harry:''' No, Eggsy...
29	* Harry is forced to go undercover into the hate group church in Kentucky, which is funny enough in itself to see such a gentlemanly, well-dressed man put into a room full of bigoted rubes (and he's obviously uncomfortable), but his line to one of the "church" goers when he leaves is just plain awesome:
30	-->'''Harry:''' I'm a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon madam.
31	** The look of ''abject horror'' on the "church"-goer's face is what sells Harry's line. She looks like she took his snarking ''literally.''
32	*** The woman then starts yelling that Harry will be cursed to eat his babies, unintentionally giving her approval of a gay couple having children.
33	** And of course, what happens to said bigoted rubes will get at least a chuckle out of anyone who's ever rolled their eyes at the Westboro Baptist Church. BloodyHilarious BlackComedy at its most over-the-top.
34	* This exchange between Eggsy and the imprisoned Princess of Sweden.
35	-->'''Eggsy:''' If I get you out, will you [[SmoochOfVictory give me a kiss]]? I've always wanted to kiss a princess.\
36	'''Princess:''' If you get me out, I'll give you more than a kiss.
37	** Then, seconds later:
38	--->'''Eggsy:''' Sorry, love, gotta run. I'm going to save the world.\
39	'''Princess:''' If you save the world, [[EuropeansAreKinky we can do it in the asshole?]]\
40	'''Eggsy:''' ...I'll be right back.
41	** And finally, Eggsy rushing back to her room with a bottle of champagne and two glasses after successfully saving the world. He talks to her a bit and closes the viewing hole intending to make a dramatic entrance, then realizes he doesn't know the code. He asks Merlin for help, who tells him the code and says Eggsy owes him. And shortly thereafter, Merlin, who's watching through Eggsy's glasses, quickly closes the screen when he realizes what he's seeing.
42	*** Best of all, the code 2625 spells out A N A L on a phone.
43	* Eggsy's ridiculous drink order:
44	-->"I'll have a Martini. Gin, not vodka, obviously, stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth."
45	** What makes this funnier is that it's deliberately the exact opposite of James Bond's drink of choice.
46	** And the kind of martini that was commonly drunk by Winston Churchill.
47	*** Not even that, the recipe is more or less a direct Churchill quote.
48	* When Eggsy is making his way back to hangar, he picks up a dead guard's submachine gun. However, when he tries to fire it, he finds out to his horror that the gun is empty, and is saved by Merlin's timely intervention. Later, when he's trying to make his way to Valentine's office, he picks up another enemy weapon and noticeably checks to make sure it's loaded first.
49	* Eggsy fights his way back to the aircraft hangar after getting Merlin into Valentine's system... only to be told to head right back in, to keep Valentine from activating the biometric control system. The sheer exasperation Eggsy exudes at this revelation is priceless.
50	-->'''Eggsy:''' Are you takin' the ''fuckin' piss?!''
51	* Merlin's strong reaction to Eggsy wanting his weapon for the final confrontation.
52	-->'''Merlin:''' Nah uh, this one's mine.
53	* The entire sequence where Merlin sets off everyone's chips making the heads of every single one of Valentine's soldiers and/or allies explode in a row, each in a stream of colorful fireworks, and all to the tune of ''Pomp and Circumstance'', almost like a live-action version of the Nuke button from ''VideoGame/{{Lemmings}}''. And then Merlin's line afterwards:
54	-->'''Merlin:''' That was fucking ''spectacular!''
55	** Eggsy's reaction to the whole sequence, or at least the bit he's present for; watching the carnage with total bemusement.
56	* While this scene is a TearJerker, Valentine's reaction to shooting Harry in the head is rather amusing due to how disturbed he was.
57	** Which is realistic given Valentine's characterization. Gazelle's indifferent attitude in the conversation only adds to it.
58	--->'''Valentine:''' [[AskAStupidQuestion Is he dead?]]\
59	'''Gazelle:''' [[CaptainObvious That tends to happen when you]] shoot someone in the head.
60	* During a briefing with Harry, Eggsy snatches Merlin's (who is standing between the two) clipboard away from him to show them Valentine on the news. Merlin snatches it back while giving Eggsy a dirty look, then immediately has it snatched out of his hands AGAIN, by Harry this time. Merlin just holds his hands and looks frustrated, while Eggsy smiles.
61	* Eggsy immediately tries to steal a hand grenade disguised as a lighter. Harry (without even looking) tells him to put it back.
62	* What meal does Valentine have for Harry when they meet up? UsefulNotes/McDonalds! Valentine gives him a look that says "Well, what do you think?"
63	** Harry without missing a beat asks for a Big Mac.
64	** As a FunnyBackgroundEvent, while Harry and Valentine are having their conversation, Gazelle is taking the burgers and fries out of their containers and arranging them on plates as if they were components of a formal dinner.
65	** Even funnier for a wine connoisseur are the wines that Valentine suggests having with burgers and fries, along with Harry's joking suggestion with Twinkies for dessert. Both 1945 Lafite and 1937 Château d'Yquem are ''ungodly'' expensive super-elite wines.
66	** Harry and Valentine's word battle can be pretty funny when Harry has a comeback for pretty much everything Valentine says but the cake has to be after Valentine explains in detail why he always wished he could be Film/JamesBond, it becomes very Meta.
67	--->'''Harry:''' I always fancied a future as a colourful megalomaniac.\
68	'''Valentine:''' A shame we both had to grow up.
69	** And then there's Harry's subsequent sendoff to Valentine:
70	--->'''Harry:''' And thank you for such a... (''beat'') happy meal.
71	* Valentine's character in general could be seen as this. Seeing Creator/SamuelLJackson, grand master of the ScaryBlackMan trope, playing a lisping, campy PsychopathicManchild is pretty funny by itself.
72	* Likewise, Galahad juxtaposes Colin Firth's usual typecasting of a British upperclassman... with a razor-sharp superspy that can determine twenty different ways to kill you in a moment's glance... ''very politely''.
73	* Eggsy claims to have never seen ''Film/TradingPlaces,'' ''Film/PrettyWoman'', or ''Film/{{Nikita}}'' and so doesn't get what Harry's getting at when he tries to use those as examples about how he wants to help Eggsy. When Harry does explain, Eggsy immediately recognizes it as being like ''Theatre/MyFairLady'', to Harry's surprise.
74	* The panicked looks his stepdad's gang give each other when Eggsy locks the door to the pub just like Harry did are pure ThisIsGonnaSuck. What makes it funnier is they even try to warn the Stepdad but he won't listen.
75	* The whole mission where the three remaining candidates have to seduce a target is one right up to when they are drugged and captured. First, there is their reactions when they discover they all have the same target, including [[LesYay Roxy]]. Then there is their approach of the target, where each one in turn has a pass at her and comments on the strategies of the previous one. And finally the waiter appears to offer his own advice--drug the target. Cue all three falling unconscious.
76	* When Eggsy infiltrates Valentine's base using Arthur's real name, Chester King, a female assistant asks him whether he has any luggage he needs carrying. Eggsy takes the chance to snarkily tell Merlin that he has just been promoted from a pilot to his valet. Merlin is not amused.
77	* A [[FunnyBackgroundEvent blink and you miss it]] gag early on; it's implied that ''Music/IggyAzalea'' is among the elite that Valentine has chosen for his new world. Not only that, but it was stated that Iggy Azalea disappeared; only certain celebrities and leaders who refused Valentine's conditions disappeared. ''Iggy Azalea'' was more levelheaded and responsible than the world leaders who were fine with their own citizens dying.
78	** Even more of a blink and miss it gag comes after Eggsy has taken down all the bad guys and is going to go take that Swedish princess up on her offer. One of the bodies nearby is ''wearing a New York Yankees uniform.''
79	* As Eggsy prepares to go back into Valentine's lair, Merlin stands at the plane door aiming out with his rifle. Eggsy is next to him in an identical pose aiming with his umbrella.
80	* The fact that Harry Hart, suave badass, named his dog ''Mr. Pickle.''
81	** To top it off, Mr. Pickle is an adorable little terrier.
82	* When Rufus asks Eggsy if he had seen him before in a [=McDonald's=], Eggsy denies it and says that, if he had, he would have made sure to give Rufus a portion of his [[DoubleEntendre secret sauce]] (complete with the appropriate gesture).
83	** Even better is Rufus' reaction. He looks caught between disgust, ActuallyPrettyFunny, and just punching Eggsy; all at once.
84	* During the parachute test, after announcing that one of the chutes isn't operable, Merlin challenges the group to figure out a way to all survive, adding he hopes he won't have to scrape one of them up -- but if he does, and they happen to land in the target area, he will nonetheless be very impressed.
85	** What takes the cake after Merlin announces that is him laughing and leaning back in his chair ''sipping a cup of coffee''.
86	** Their initial reaction after hearing that? About as well as you'd expect:
87	--->'''Roxy:''' ''What?!''\
88	'''Eggsy:''' '''''SHIT'''''!!!\
89	'''Roxy:''' ''No parachutes?!''
90	** Eggsy's reaction when Rufus ruins the plan by opening his parachute too early.
91	--->'''Eggsy:''' FUCK!!! Rufus, you WANKER!!!
92	* The payoff to that scene, after process of elimination reveals that Eggsy had the bum parachute. He confronts Merlin about it, and Merlin replies by yanking Eggsy's ripcord, causing him to pratfall when his parachute opens after all. [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Even Eggsy grins at this one.]]
93	* Eggsy pointing at the various front pages in Harry's office and being told what they are. The third one is when Harry prevented the assassination of UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher, Eggsy opines that [[ZeroPercentApprovalRating not everyone would thank him for that one]].
94	* The last scene, in which Eggsy shows up to take his mum away from her abusive boyfriend leads to said boyfriend and his thugs supposedly intimidating him away only for him to set up another beatdown like the one Harry gave them earlier. The funny bit? You can see them put it together behind their boss, seeing that the kid they last saw with the guy who wiped the floor with them is now dressed like him and quoting him, and realizing ''[[OhCrap that he was trained to fight like him.]]'' They then attempt to warn their boss, only for him to dismiss it, and becoming the first casualty.
95	* The first pub fight is filled with funny moments (such as the slow-mo shot of one thug's disgusted face as he watches another one's tooth fly past), but the crowner has to be the utter nonchalance with which Galahad sits back down, finishes his beer and sighs, as if he just came back from the toilet - instead of, you know, ''[[CurbStompBattle beating six men unconscious without breaking a sweat]]''. All the while completely ignoring the absolutely baffled "The fuck just happened???" look Eggsy is giving him.
96	* Valentine's HypocriticalHumour of saying people talk funny.
97	* Harry implies that the selection process for Kingsman hasn't changed since his day. It's amusing to imagine the existing Kingsmen doing the seduction part.

Context Funny / KingsmanTheSecretService