Line #8 Funny/WolfensteinTheNewOrder


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/can_i_play_daddy___3_by_wizarddoc205_da9sog8.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:[[EasyModeMockery "Can I play, Daddy?"]]]]
3
4	* During the assault on Deathshead Compound in 1946, Fergus, Wyatt and the rest of the squad are pinned down by heavy fire. And [[CloudCuckooLander Fergus]] starts singing "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean" while returning fire and shouting orders.
5	--> '''Fergus''': "BRING BACK MY BONNIE TO ''MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE''!"
6	** Similarly, even after a ''very'' dark moment involving one of the two being sacrificed to Deathshead, the other'll distract the Supersoldier by jumping on its back...while loudly singing the song of their people (Fergus sings "God Save the King", Wyatt sings "Pack Up Your Troubles In Your Old Kit Bag".)
7	* At the beginning of the game, Wyatt manages to destroy a [[RobotDog Panzerhund]] in the most natural of all possible ways; by having it play fetch with a grenade.
8	** According to the Panzerhund's artist he fought tooth and nail with the animators to make sure the robots acted like ''real'' dogs!
9	* In a scene that's otherwise pure horror, the confrontation with Deathshead in 1946 has him drop this line:
10	-->'''Deathshead''': Should you decline my appeal, I shall have to put the scalpel to both of them ''[[SkewedPriorities and we'd be here ALL DAY!]]''
11	** ...the last bit being delivered in an absurdly huffy tone of voice.
12	* A brief snippet from BJ's stay in the asylum has Anya's mother comment that "our daughter has magical powers" for being able to just tell that BJ is awake from his coma and fully alert.
13	-->'''Anya's Father''': She's your daughter. I only donated the secret sauce.\
14	'''Anya''': [[ParentalSexualitySquick Father]]!
15	* Anya's grandmother tells him any resistance has already been captured and "who knows where they keep them". When he wordlessly turns around to have a discussion with said "who" in their basement, the grandmother turns on the music before he even finishes descending the stairs to hide the incoming noise from said "discussion"
16	** Try to grab the [[ChainsawGood chainsaw]] in the basement, and the game will remind you that [[FantasyHelmetEnforcement you need to be wearing splatter protection]], and forces you on a mini FetchQuest to find an apron and a pair of busted goggles before you get to saw the Nazi's head off.
17	* Fergus (or Wyatt) asks BJ what he's been up to for the last two decades. BJ's answer isn't ''quite'' truthful, considering he's only been doing so for the last few days, but it's funny nonetheless.
18	-->'''BJ''': ''[happily]'' Shooting, stabbing, strangling Nazis!
19	* B.J. and Caroline's friendly glorified pissing contest over [[MiseryPoker whose injuries are worse.]] It's all in good humor (and Blazko's later apology suggests he'd let Caroline win that contest anyway.)
20	* In Fergus's timeline he is moving some boxes around in the Project Whisper helicopter with Tekla nearby doing nothing but writing calculations. The exchange that follows is quite funny, especially when he drops one of said crates on his foot.
21	* Fergus' [[https://youtu.be/RflS16uG8jU?t=17m58s report]] back to Caroline when he walks into the Da'at Yichud's cache of technology is one of the crowning moments in the game.
22	-->'''Fergus''': Thanks ever so much for the new socks. They're right warm and a snug fit. Yeah, I'm doing well. Although this war has grown a little wearisome. [[BlatantLies Nothing much of interest ever happens round these parts.]] Today I landed a helicopter on a nicked Nazi nuclear submarine aircraft carrier. After which I donned a deep-water diving suit, swam down an abyssal trench in the middle of the Atlantic fucking ocean, don't mean to bore you with the details. Long story short, I'm now standing inside a secret vault full of things so magical and abnormal in nature the mind has no recourse but to shudder in bewilderment. 'Course I'm accompanied by a Nazi-killing lunatic and some kind of genius wizard who claims to be on a first-name basis with God Almighty himself. [[SeenItAll Ah, well, we can only hope for a more stimulating turn of events in the future.]] Give my love to everyone back home, Fergus out.
23	** And, hilariously enough, he's become such a SeenItAll UnfazedEveryman thanks to B.J. that he only reacts with mild disinterest when PoweredArmor is creeping up his legs.
24	* Anya's grandfather tries to pull IfYouEverDoAnythingToHurtHer on B.J. when he sends Anya to follow him. Bear in mind the sheer size disparity between the two men. B.J. accedes.
25	* While B.J. sneaking around the Nazi checkpoint to try and get the lift open is a very tense and dramatic scene, one bit where you interact with a car has him turning the steering wheel and "honking" the horn, making little driving noises before hitting on an imaginary girl.
26	--> '''B.J.''': ''Brrr Brrr Honk honk'' Hey, darlin'. How 'bout we go for a spin. ''Gets off'' Okay. Back to work.
27	** Pretty much any scene that takes advantage of either VocalDissonance and/or TheComicallySerious tends to get this, such as finding each of Max's toys, getting B.J. to quip in his usual gruff tone.
28	--->'''B.J.''': ''(Picking up a toy telephone)'' Neat toy. All I had was a pine cone and a box of matches.
29	* When B.J. subdues Keller after he tried to ambush him from his car, the next cutscene has him holding Keller in front of Anya's grandmother so she can [[NeverMessWithGranny slap him in the face.]] Takes a more serious turn, however, when you realize she's slapping him and screaming at him because he is responsible for the murders of her son and daughter-in-law.
30	* Sleep in a certain bed in the Kreisau headquarters and you get to experience B.J. Blazkowicz's nightmare... [[spoiler: [=E1M1=] of the original [[NostalgiaLevel Wolfenstein 3D.]] Complete with [[TookALevelInBadass surprisingly more effective 2D Nazis!]]]]
31	* When B.J. gets the Laserkraftwerk, you can practically hear the gears turning in his head as he holds the LKW in his right hand and the Laser Cutter in his left hand, then he simply [[MidSeasonUpgrade tosses the Laser Cutter away in favor of]] the newer {{BFG}}.
32	* After he fetches the welder, [[http://youtu.be/tzuWuwNVwnY?t=23s Anya takes William into the supply closet]] for some GladToBeAliveSex - much to the chagrin of Klaus, who promptly tells them to knock it off, since they're [[ImmodestOrgasm so loud about it]], to the point that their "activity" is [[DestructoNookie knocking paintings off the wall]].
33	* [[spoiler: Throughout the fight with the London Monitor, the giant robot will chide you every so often for damaging public property (namely, itself) and remark that it has been [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking added to your growing list of criminal charges]]]].
34	** There's also B.J.'s reaction when he sees the [[spoiler: London Monitor]] for the first time. With the tone in his voice, he ''definitely'' remembers fighting the Baltic Eye/Stomper years before.
35	--> '''B.J.''': [[OhCrap "Son of a..."]]
36	** Take a look at your notes during the fight. B.J. thinks that, because it's a single-minded machine bent on an enemy's destruction like he is, he and it are not so different, even though it's a ''thirty-story tall giant stompy war robot''.
37	** Also during the Monitor fight, Klaus is yelling encouragement over the radio
38	--> '''Klaus''': "Good hit! Yes! [[AmericansAreCowboys Cowboy Shooting!"]]
39	--> '''Klaus''': "Yes! Big explosion! USA style!"
40	* The entire quest for a power tool inside Kreisau HQ.
41	** When you saw [[spoiler:a [[SuspiciousVideogameGenerosity double-barreled shotgun]]]] on a shelf, you know the jig is up.
42	** When you came back the resistance greets you like nothing happened.
43	** The FetchQuest gets more ridiculous as you go find a welding torch dropped into water. [[spoiler:The game sics Supersoldatens on you.]] Blazkowicz ends the whole thing with him grumbling about making Fergus[=/=]Wyatt get it themselves next time.
44	--> '''B.J.''': "Long walk for a lousy welder."
45	** After spending a lot of time proceeding through and completing one of these {{Fetch Quest}}s, Set then bluntly orders B.J. to deliver a note to Anya... who is sitting mere steps away from him. At which point, B.J. is clearly starting to get a bit sick of all this "fetch this and deliver that" shit:
46	-->'''B.J.''': ''[Grumbling to himself]'' Like I'm the goddamned errand boy...
47	*** The journal is a touch sour about the latest FetchQuest too.
48	--->'''BJ's Journal''': Anya needs this note to be able to track the frequency of the transp...Ah, fuck it. [[TechnoBabble Can't remember what else the old man said.]] Should just give it to Anya.
49	* Throughout the game, B.J. can find various vinyl albums, which contain popular pop songs of the era. These are songs from the real world, but covered by artists of the new regime. The one that takes the cake is probably [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_artPecEaM the game's cover of the Animals' "House of the Rising Sun"]], replacing the original instruments with ''tubas and accordions'', turning it into some sort of strange German folk song.
50	** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69z_IN64EG4 "Mond, Mond, Ja, Ja"]], supposedly by Music/TheBeatles, isn't as inherently funny on its own when you first find the record playing it. What makes it hilarious is when it actually plays in gameplay, while you're actually '''on''' the moon. And getting ''shot at'' by a giant robot while calmly riding a tram between sections of a base on the moon.
51	* B.J.'s [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6BaujmeF_4 stoic response]] to finding out that Nazis have been to the moon
52	--> '''B.J.''': "Okay... okay. So you put a Nazi on the moon. ''[[PrecisionFStrike Fuck you]]'', moon."
53	* B.J.'s escapade to retrieve nuclear launch codes [[spoiler:from a ''Lunar base'']] and how he seems to slide between fear and nonchalance.
54	** To [[ItMakesSenseInContext retrieve his luggage]] while still disguised as a scientist, B.J. needs to crawl through a baggage carousel tunnel... in full view of three Nazi soldiers. One of them is confused by his actions, while another acts as if [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight it's nothing out of the ordinary]].
55	** Blazko adds to it by opening his status report with...
56	--->'''B.J.:''' Well...I'm on the motherfuckin' moon.\
57	'''Caroline:''' ''(amused)'' The mouth on this one.\
58	'''Anya:''' ''(just as amused)'' I will clean it out with soap.
59	* When B.J. takes the tram on his way out of the moon base, you can hear "Mond Mond, Ja Ja" playing on the speakers... and B.J. [[NotSoAboveItAll quietly humming along to it.]]
60	* At one point in the game in Wyatt's timeline, B.J. ends up [[MushroomSamba taking some acid]] and having a jam session with [[spoiler:Jimi Hendrix]] Something that's only matched by it's awesomeness.
61	* A side effect of B.J's inner-monologue is sometimes we catch the occasional random crap that goes through his head. Like when on the U-Boat he thinks of how [[InherentlyFunnyWords "buoy"]] is a Silly Word.
62	* B.J. struggling to work the coffee machine on the train. He panics a bit trying to turn the machine off as the mugs start to overflow, until finally he just punches and breaks it.
63	* After destroying the final robot in the hangar of the London Nautica, B.J. checks off his "to-do" list.
64	--> '''B.J.''': "Right. Nazis dead. Nazi robots dead. Broke all your shit. Helicopters secured."
65	* Some armor pieces you can pick up is ridiculous. Say, a metal plate size of a ''car trunk''. And that's just the start. Additionally, being able to top up your armor by taking helmets you find dotted around the place, suggesting B.J. either magically converts them to armor plating, or somehow straps the helmets to himself.
66	** ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'' puts it ''best''. [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2014/06/02/fresh-spring-looks]]
67	** When B.J. sees J's workbench in resistance HQ, he proceeds to craft an ''armor upgrade'' right then and there.
68	** Dog food that heals bullet wounds. [[VideoGame/Wolfenstein3D Just like old times. Sadly Billy can't suck up blood pools this time.]]
69	* Hans "Bubi" Winkle sees that his serum isn't exactly keeping Blazkowicz sedate and weak, since it affects the brain. Now what happened to B.J.'s conk at the start of the game? [[ItMakesSenseInContext "There must be something]] [[StealthInsult very wrong with your cerebral cortex!"]].
70	* Being on the moon, looking in the cabins, seeing a computer, what is it playing? [[CelebrityParadox Wolfenstein3D]] The letter found on the moon base is also quite funny - it's a personal ad that plays up the career of a SpaceMarine searching for a woman with "child-bearing hips" for 5, 6, perhaps 12 children.
71	* A line of dialogue cut from the game is B.J. [[http://eatchain.com/garbage/File4011.ogg lamenting his use of the word 'conk']].
72	* A more subtle moment, but during the montage that accompanies B.J.'s "concrete for miles" speech, the Nazi prison guards driving the paddy wagon look like they're bobbing their heads to the rockin' background music.
73	* B.J. [[CrossesTheLineTwice drowning a Nazi in his own piss]] is funny enough on its' own, since science has proven that you cannot be too violent to a Nazi. However, it becomes even funnier if you watched [[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee's review]] of the game before buying and playing it. During the review, he uses the drowning-a-Nazi-in-his-own-piss thing for an example of the aforementioned 'cannot be too violent to a Nazi' theorem, but he never indicates it's ''actually something that happens in-game,'' leaving players who saw the review first and played it second to realize that [[NotHyperbole he wasn't taking the piss.]] The sheer fact you flush the toilet as well meaning you are committing death by swirlie. As well as that, when drowning the Nazi in his own piss doesn't go as quickly as BJ would like, he immediately falls back on his standard takedown action, and stabs him in the back of the skull.
74	* When going after the Nazi scientist in the train BJ has a truly spectacular one-liner to give:
75	-->'''B.J.''': "I'm comin' for you, you Nazi fuckin' space man."
76	* Also during the bridge level, if you fall off the bridge, BJ will have just enough time to lament it before he hits the water.
77	-->'''B.J.''': "... ''stupid'' way to die."
78	* At the end of the "pure blood" test on the train, [[spoiler:Frau Engel reveals that it's all nonsense, just some photos she took. Then she says she can spot impure blood just by looking at someone, which is funny if you know that BJ is a Polish-American of Jewish matrilineal descent.]] She also takes the time to ask a nearby Nazi soldier if he thinks B.J. is a pure Aryan or not. The guard's response?
79	--->'''Bernhard:''' I don't know, Obersturmbannfuhrer.\
80	'''Frau Engel:''' (laughs it off)
81	* If you [[FlushingEdgeInteractivity play with the toilets in the rebel HQ,]] BJ will muse about them.
82	-->'''First one:''' "Well, ''that'' seems to be in working order."
83	-->'''Second one:''' "This is becoming some kinda compulsive behaviour..."
84	* Frau Engel hopelessly attempting to stop a hijacked Mecha by ''hitting it with a riding crop.''
85	* In the prologue after taking out a machine gun nest:
86	--> '''Fergus''': "Alright, listen up, people! Captain Blazkowicz has seen fit to clear us a path! We are moving out, and you will show him the courtesy of not getting yourself neither shot or killed by the stomper! Understood?"
87	* After B.J. steals a supply train from the Berlin catacombs, Wyatt is his usual chipper self when they meet up:
88	-->'''Wyatt''': Right on time, Captain! Walk in the park, was it?
89	-->'''B.J.''': No.
90	-->'''Wyatt''': ...Okay. Well, I'll just get to work.
91	* When storming the London Nautica the first time, while sneaking through the elevator shafts you come across a stalled elevator with two officers trapped inside. One of them is clearly getting a bit nervous about being stuck in an elevator during what has obviously been a bit of a disaster. The other snaps that [[TemptingFate it's perfectly safe, there are four emergency brakes and all of them would have to fail for the elevator to crash]]. Good thing for them there isn't a half-crazed Nazi killer lurking on top of the elevator who needs it to plummet to the bottom in order to ride the counterweight he's standing on right to the top and now knows to shoot the emergency brakes... oh. After shooting the first brake, B.J. will muse on WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong and will say point-blank he should stand on the counterweight. Which has bright yellow footprints painted on the top for no discernible reason. One has to wonder how many playtesters [[HoistByHisOwnPetard bungled this setpiece]] to warrant that much signposting.
92	* In the middle of the Eisenwald Prison escape, if the player takes a side hallway while Fergus continues to fire down the main corridor:
93	-->'''Fergus''': Where the bloody hell are you going, Blazko? Oh - you're flanking them! Carry on!
94	* After dropping the Spindly Torque on the Gibraltar Bridge, B.J. and Wyatt (or, alternatively, Fergus) have this exchange:
95	-->'''B.J.''': What the fuck did I just do?
96	-->'''Wyatt''': We just killed the bridge sir! We just killed the bridge with the [[BuffySpeak big magic metal ball]]!
97	-->'''Fergus''': I don't know, Captain. [[SeenItAll Par for the course, ain't it]]? [[StuffBlowingUp Mayhem and destruction]], [[PersonOfMassDestruction like what you always do]]. '''(laughs)''' [[OneManArmy It's just you doing you]].
98	* The very fact that the Nazis [[TakeOverTheWorld conquered most of the globe]] with [[spoiler: ancient '''[[{{Irony}} Jewish]]''' technology]]. Something tells us that [[spoiler: [[UsefulNotes/{{Adolf Hitler}} Hitler]] [[LockedOutOfTheLoop doesn't know the truth]]]].
99	* If the subtitles are set to "Foreign Only" then you don't get subtitles for Bombate's thick African patois or Set's heavy Yiddish, but you ''do'' get them for Fergus' [[UsefulNotes/BritishAccents Scottish accent]].
100	* At the end of the Lunar Base level, the pilot of the transport ship in the hanger seems to think you've gone to the trouble of staging an attack on a fortified Nazi base located in one of the most difficult-to-reach places on the Moon [[ItsAllAboutMe solely to prevent him from making his routine deliveries]].
101	* In the mission notes for the Berlin Catacombs chapter, BJ points out that [[DownTheDrain the sewer]] he has to navigate "smells like something crawled inside [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler Hitler's]] ass and died in there".

Context Funny / WolfensteinTheNewOrder